what are you afraid of, i'm afraid of waking up, make some coffee, hello, you're stupid, or something, i'll have to fire you, actually, i don't work here, i live here, cinderella, some kind of dishwasher, this is generally, this is incomprehensible, nothing, i i’m still afraid, or the princess, whoever the prince chooses, but you loved her, most likely not, but you love me, wings of a pegasus. today on rtr. we put the news of the week without the noise of dust on the shelves. news of the week with dmitry kiselyov. on sunday on rtr. i remember during the filming of this clownery, as always, i stood behind the scenes and tried to hold back my hysterical laughter, because i... after them i had to perform with

a very serious face, you’re boring, you can meet cool guys at dances, but who needs you, dried fruit in your skirts, you’re in vain, you’re in vain, you know, how can i flirt, who are you flirting with, yes, flirt, flirt, one thing on my mind, yes, flirt, try, try jakjaga, i’ll try, i really need it, i really need it, you’re hip. mold, why, you should sing like that, try gaf-gaf, try chaka-chuck, try oink-oink, shut up, dog, you're a good-for-nothing old lady, you know, you're not good at life at all, so you'll die with you as a girl, and nothing will happen, you know, well , who, well, who did you set up the printer, now i 'll format it for you, what's all this, and look, look, look, what two stinkers, right, look, two teenagers, ears

below the pager, oh, look, two chicks are hanging out, there, there, there, on the right, and i see, and where you see, to the right, look, let's take a picture , come on, come on, which one is yours? mine, which is older, so they are both the same age, then mine, which one painted, you know, they are both terribly good, too long, but then mine, which is closer, then ahtonkh, the first ambassador. invite the lady to dance, oh you

old mare, the guy was taken away from me, hey, on the ramp, i’m here, so try, come on, invite, you see, the girl has been waiting, all angry.

what a cool outfit you have, cool outfit, oh tempter, come on, bite me, bite me, what are you doing today, in the evening everything, i mean, nothing, i’m sitting at home. tea, so let me invite you to our place, let’s kill a goat, that is, let's hang out normally, well, i don't know, my mother won't let me go, oh, what, oh, what kind of you immediately take you by the horns, no, a cow, i want to forget the glassiness from your eyes, oh, i'm so indecisive. let’s

hook up with you somewhere, wow, right away, or without foreplay, so why wait? you know how my lower back hurts, then let's go with you, not with me , i can't, i have shoelaces in a glass, shoelaces in a glass, well, i say, ancestors, i say, at home, ancestors, at a monkey's, or something, i, i can't, but at my friend, hasha is free, let's let's go hang out, where do you want to type? i immediately started daydreaming that now it’s crazy, you’ll play my oak box, well, hit me, hit me, well, like

your chick, wow, a groovy young lady, i also have a grandma who’s a konkhvetka, well, i’d break her quant , what’s yours, my, you know , he looks like he’s some kind of naked, that he’s a cool pepper, i’m also a grandfather, heart-loving krachatinka, oh well, grandfathers are corrugated, light up?

screaming pictures, crawling stones, crying rocks, dancing forests, singing sands, singing cowards, that was also the expression about primitive female ensembles on the stage, and there are also singing sculptures, don’t believe it, look, millions of people are scratching their heads about what is jaga-jaga? i have my own... and i started making a musical series called sculptures singing, it became very interesting for me to trace how certain world-famous

sculptures would sing some modern russian hits, and first, i would like to give the floor, however, this sculpture will present itself. i'm a girl with a paddle, i'm standing quietly, sunshine behind me there is a quiet light shining into my jaga-jaga, only the pigeons do not let me through at all. everyone likes the dark jaga, while i’m quietly singing this song, all these coolies have stuck around my jaga-jaga, wait man, don’t pass, take the oars quickly, walk along the jaga, my jaga,

take the oars, oh, walk under the jaga, jaga , come on quickly, hey, i need this... i need this, i need it, and let me see we are closed, feathered friends, my jaga, your jaga, who could have thought that such an attractive, marmalade jaga is mine. thank you, thank you, and another heart-warming story: since the next sculpture is in

the distant city of brussels, the song is sung with an accent. why was i born a peeing boy, someone squeezes a woman, someone climbed on a horse, but for some reason i have endless emures, if only they stuck an autumn leaf between my legs. why did they even decide that i’m a complete nikkis,

at least once the view of everyone fell under my stream, how many people have i won over the years, i’m a pissing boy, when i open the tap, i’m a medkino, oh, quickly leave the lawn, because i it's a long way off, i drink a lot far away, oh, oh, why are you so tense, do you know why?

the most important thing is the weather in the house, my house, my fortress, songs about home are heard today in the program hello andrey, home, your fortress, home is where mom is. no matter what happens, i ’ll come to my dear. don’t forget to call your parents

while they are alive, because then, unfortunately, it’s too late. hello, andrey, andrey malakhov's evening show. today on rtr. do you want twice as much yield? the best solution for you will be the zhitnitsa mini-greenhouse. it will protect plants from frost, retain heat, speed up the growth and ripening of fruits will extend the gardening season; the presence of zippered windows will provide quick access for watering and care. we offer a choice of two sizes of mini-greenhouses, 120x60x60 cm and 120x90x90 cm. you can use it on the terrace for growing seedlings or exotic ornamental plants. thanks to its compact size, the mini-greenhouse-breadbasket can be successfully placed even in the most inaccessible places of yours. area or premises. the durable frame of the mini-greenhouse made of metal pipes is resistant to corrosion and protects plants from

strong gusts of wind. thanks to the covering material made of pvc film, plants receive reliable protection from insect pests. choose your mini-greenhouse size and get a quality harvest. call to order the zhitnitsa mini greenhouse at an amazing price from only 29.95. i'm tired of your old fence. do you want to update your bathhouse or terrace? but repair or replacement is strong. will hit your budget, we bring to your attention a universal photo facade for a fence, bright life, with its help you can easily and quickly transform your suburban area beyond recognition, fence, terrace, gazebo, will be updated in an instant without expensive repairs and painting, four bright beautiful colors to choose from, all you need to do is secure the photo facade in a way convenient for you, this is a ready-made solution, the bright life photo facade is suitable for... such as a fence, wooden , stone or metal, if it becomes dirty

, just rinse it with water, beautiful, fast, convenient and easy, call, order a universal photo facade for a fence, bright life at a special price from only 995, just choose the appropriate design, create to create a unique look for your suburban area, we present to your attention a real best-seller, a luxurious chocolate bag made from genuine leather. an elegant, stylish , very roomy chocolate bag is made in patk style and goes well with any clothes and shoes. she will become your reliable companion to work, on a visit, or on a prog. to the store. soft genuine leather, high-quality fittings, classic shape and optimal size. the most discerning fashionistas will appreciate this bag. it will emphasize the femininity of its owner and will add even more charm. the design of the bag is thought out to the smallest detail. two large zipped compartments, four external pockets and even a hidden umbrella compartment. all this

will allow you to conveniently organize your space and maintain order in your purse. stylish design. two current colors to choose from: universal black and noble brown. call right now and order an exquisite chocolate bag made of genuine leather for only 1995. we present to you the legendary horse balm from the czech republic with horse chestnut extract, which will relieve you of pain in muscles, joints, spine and tendons. the balanced formula of medicinal plants provides an immediate, more quenching effect. the balm is produced at the world famous. in the czech resort of karlovy vary using ancient swiss technology. for more than a thousand years, horse chestnut has been used to treat and prevent many diseases. it has a strong antibacterial, absorbable, healing and anti-inflammatory effect, provides invaluable assistance with muscle strains, dislocations, fractures, polyarthritis, arthrosis and other joint diseases. in addition to

horse chestnut, the horse balm contains lavender officinalis, rosemary, comfrey extract, f. tea tree oil, peppermint and peat extract, call and order horse balm with horse chestnut extract at a uniquely low price, only from 9:95 on cosmonautics day, this is a holiday, cosmonautics day, this is a holiday anyway, this is our common one, of course, this is a holiday throughout our country, the legendary crew of the salyut 7 station, in what was your mission, to look and figure it out, if possible... fix it, i have a feeling that filming was more dangerous than the real flight, i was approved almost immediately for viktor petrovich, we take off, i’m pale all over, they bring volodya, he’s just like that colors, i thought he was going to die, just now, two astronauts, that is , you understand, yes, your wives with a heavy heart , they saw you off on one end of the road,

it was impossible to calm them down, my wife had an intuition, apparently some kind of wife viktor petrovich knitted a hat for him and for there are two of you. the fate of a person with boris korchevnikov on friday on rtr, so that dreams come true. on sunday. i'm counting down the minutes until the evening when we meet again. this is my lena and she will be with me. and who are you? let her tell you. well, i won’t stand in the way of your happiness. stop, please. hello! sister, the situation is hopeless, i will do something, i don’t know what yet, but i will do it, honestly, len, sunday on rtr, you know what the three main lies on earth are, they are concluded in such general phrases, we will call you back,

tomorrow i will start losing weight, i will never be again. drink, in fact, the lie detector has already been invented, and humor illuminates this very clearly, here’s an anecdote: a father brings home a lie detector, immediately decides to try it out, asks his son a question: son, were you at school today? yes, dad, detector, beep-beep, beep, son, okay, i was at the cinema, detector beep, beep, son says: okay, i was drinking beer with friends. the detector says nothing. father, what? at your age, i didn’t even know what alcohol was. detector. and the mother laughs ha ha ha, an apple from an apple tree. he is your real son, the detector. one citizen was asked,

have you ever seen a lie detector? i... i just saw him, i also happened to marry him, this kind of thing happened, please, mr. deputy minister, i ask you, i only have one question for you, why are you coming to us in zaretin? i mean, why did you come? the country's leadership once again decided to reduce the state apparatus, so for some reason they decided to start with our ministry, it happens, it happens, so, for this our scientists have developed a device for...

at your enterprise, at my enterprise, yes, here is an electronic mobile analyzer, but i understand that you need to take tests, yes, no, you don’t need to take anything, the electronic mobile analyzer is abbreviated to emma, emma, then there is, and as i understand it, this ema, she understands who is lying and who is not, yes, you see, oh exactly , let’s see which one, let’s check it works , first, try to tell some obvious lie, but i’m not me, but that is i

have to shave and emma will understand, well, somewhere so yeah yeah now now now now how interesting, well done our scientists and oh i look like a crocodile. why is emma silent? yes, because, come on, turn to profile, this requires an obvious lie. i mean, this? oh, interesting, okay, let's be explicit. my wife has breasts. size eight, it works, but look , it works, in fact, she has a first, well

, zero, wow, look, you need to be at home more often, oh, our scientists, oh, our ministry, we are always happy to follow your instructions, we try to comply, zina, zina, hello, oh, nikolai petrovich, you look gorgeous, well, zina, this is our best employee. one of the best, well, of course, a little stupid, a complete fool,

i hope this doesn’t affect my work, no, zina, you sent faxes to our foreign partners in khimki. well, offend me, nikolai petrovich, this is all i’ve been doing since the morning. i didn’t even have time to paint my nails. what's that beeping sound you're making all the time? it beeps. emma, ​​this device that mr. deputy minister brought to us, if someone is lying, he beeps. oh, the deputy minister beeps. device, sorry, device beeps, and oh, how cool, let's check him out, right, zina, come on, so, our

boss, honey, everyone adore him, he's the smartest, he's an idiot, how smart... ema, no, mr. zanistra, zina jokes, that’s not what she wanted to say, he’s the best liar of all, no, no, no, no, i’m an honest person, well, almost, but i don’t steal.

we'll finish by evening, i can't do it tonight, why? well, i promised your deputy to sort out the papers, i just promised your deputy, well, wash the zine out of my sight, of course. damn, there's a sign for you, there's a sober one, hello, here you go always sober at work, valera, but i didn’t understand where the brick was that was ordered for repairs of the workshop, but what, mr. deputy minister, we don’t have any problems with bricks, oh, huh?

of course, you don’t have any problems, i sent you three cars of bricks to the dacha. are you going to build your own palace there? may i ask for clarification? about the palace? what about brick? so some kind of misunderstanding? the dump trucks must have mixed up their routes. this won't happen again.

my wife is calling, yeah, hello, lord, hello, dear, and i’m very glad to hear from you, wedding anniversary, of course, i remember, this is the happiest day in the world for me, who squeaks, yes emma squeaks. “no, i swear, i never cheated on you, i swear, i love you very much, and i love your mother, and i adore all of your relatives, these peeps of yours are already making my head explode, why are you still suffering because of what - you sandpipers, fix her business,

what have you done? ema would have been in a single copy! ay-ay-ay! what a grief! ay-ah-ay! what a grief! minister! yes, mr. minister! yes, business is that emma broke, no, no, no, herself broke down and i congratulate you , thank you, yes, good, no, no, no, who doesn’t

know, good, good, good, good, good. we had a saying on variety: “oh, the difficult, unprepossessing life of a stage performer.” this meant our endless tours associated with trains, planes, restaurants, canteens, and hotels of the soviet past.