i began to sit less, began to move more, no, no, lenochka, i began to lie down more, by the way, karen, let’s talk today about a healthy lifestyle, that is, about everything that has a beneficial effect on our health, well, there’s diet, sports, healthy sleep, rest, rest, this is also very suitable here, and of course, the most important thing is money, karen, what do you mean, what does money have to do with it? and vacation can be without money, for sure, i agree, len, but i have one proposal for you, come on, let’s start a healthy lifestyle right now and a little let's have a rest, and while a funny artist performs, karen, what can you do for the sake of your health, oh, healthy sergei drobotenko on stage, we meet,

friends, there was a case, a woman ordered an air conditioner, on the appointed day they call from the company, ask to go downstairs, meet, woman comes down and sees that the men. they take out of the van some large box without identification marks, as it later turned out, they brought a toilet to the neighboring apartment, the woman, in full confidence that this is her air conditioner, dear, begins question the men, who are sure that they are talking about the toilet; they go upstairs while talking, woman. great! ly, are you

coming to me? well, well, yes, probably to you. tell me, guys, i wanted to clarify the color, what is it, white? white, wonderful, tell me, tell me about it, what kind of floor-standing is it, well, naturally, why naturally? maybe you will mount it under the ceiling? listen, we have been working at the company for 10 years, but so far we have never been under the ceiling, no, if you want, we will assign you, of course, you it’s just a pity, why do i feel sorry for me, well, how can i tell you, you may not have time, yes, there are different situations, it’s good that it’s full time.

tell me, how does it azonize the air? but it depends on you, i understand, here’s a question: i won’t disturb my neighbors, but this also depends on you, i understand, guys, i generally live alone, what do you think, in principle, one is enough for me, listen, we don’t know you well , well , i mean... i mean, it completely covers the area, well, that’s enough for you, oh, guys, i’m so stealing, i’m so stealing, i’d take it like that and kissed me, i can say i dreamed about this all my life, but you never had this in your entire life, imagine how you managed without this before? how, like everyone else,

i opened the window in front, it’s good that we live far from you guys, you can live anywhere, let’s agree right away, you won’t leave me until you show me how to use it, sorry, but you never i haven’t seen it, i have seen it, but i want you to show it inside and out in detail, but there are only two modes, okay. show me, tell me, can i use it in winter? naturally, what about endure spring? guys, last request, last, can you take the pipe outside for me? yes, you have pity on the people, but what ’s dripping a lot? yes, i'll put the bucket in then. that's it, come, here's my forty-second apartment, just a minute, it's actually in the forty-fifth, like in a hurry? a? so they bought petrov, everyone

is complaining, we live poorly. one woman read in the newspaper that laughter is very good for health, it not only prolongs life, but also reduces weight, and now this woman walks around laughing, everyone thinks she’s crazy, but she’s just losing weight, well then now the scene is we will have a massive weight loss session and... because the artist who will now take the stage will make you laugh until you colic, meet the charming and unique elena stepanenko on stage.

hello, man, nitroglycerin pharmacist, how can i help you, and the adhesive plaster, rather, you need to break through the adhesive plaster, okay, ok, here you go, here’s the watering can.

you don’t need it, you clearly said, a watering can is a band-aid, here’s a watering can, here’s a band-aid, here’s a check, men, why don’t you need a watering can, well, you need a band-aid, here take it, i see, men, i see, i see that you cut your finger , i agree that when you cut your finger, you don’t have to...

so you think, you’re the first, yes, you were the first to come for one band-aid, no, not the first, that’s bad for you, oh, oh , oh, listen, man, i see you ’re dripping blood right there on the floor, lord, well, well, well,

you see, you also need a floor brush, i ’ll add it for 580 rubles. so, everything that gets dark in the eyes, listen, but i don’t have glasses, glasses, they are sold at the opticians across the road, but you won’t get there in this condition, no without a scooter, so man, i’m here for you now, look, look, here’s the cheapest scooter, 2.400, that’s it, hold on, man, hold on until you fall, let me help you myself, come on, let me, i ’ll take the money myself, yes, look, i’m taking the money, i’m taking the calculation for the watering can, the hose for the scooter and the lottery for the benefit of the compulsory health insurance fund, and what about plaster strapping you to the scooter, that’s right, now look, you’re on a scooter like that stand up, stand up like this, so you don’t fall down

and hold your finger up like this, the blood will drain away from it all, so go, like where, where were you going to the pharmacy for an adhesive plaster? “listen, well, i work in a pharmacy, but we’ve run out of watering cans, man, don’t cry, you go to another one.”

a person is in a bad mood, everyone says: well, drink something, yes, when a person is in a good mood, everyone says: well, breathe, that’s why? well, because alcohol relaxes, lifts your spirits, relieves stress, but unfortunately, karen, it is harmful to your health. what drinks are healthy then? maybe coffee? no, coffee raises blood pressure and causes aggression. here's one of my friends telling me: girls, you know, yesterday in a cafe with my friends i drank three bottles of wine, and my husband drank two cups of coffee at home. you can’t even

imagine how aggressively he behaved when i returned home in the morning. i get it, i get it, citizens, drink freshly squeezed juices, they are full of vitamins and good for your health. and not only drink, but sing with us, because the stage and... ti and soso pavliashvilli, we meet, i have long wanted to decide for myself, only one question be. i should be for you, for you, i

have long wanted to find out for myself how it is better for me to become a man in the world, for you, for you, love match, for you, the sky is in the palm of your hand, for you the heart.

what do you need, i want to ask, what else should i do or buy for you, for you, don’t play with me, i had to wait, i’ll move mountains, just to inform for... for you i’ll be delicacy just for you

, hey! for you the sky is laid down for you! for you, my heart is for you, i can do everything just for you, for you.

premiere, stop it, alexander pankratov black, next time i won’t miss, alexander ropok, comrade uchkova, take off the handcuffs, come on, tomorrow under escort to apartment number twenty, clearly, anna mikhalkova, she’s got one.

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friend, he found an excellent job, which is the dream of many all over the world, karen, you intrigued me, so what kind of job is this? lenochka, you won’t believe it, he sleeps for money, karen, it’s like, he works as a professional mattress tester, the company produces, for example, a new mattress, invites him, he sleeps on this mattress, and then they ask him if he slept well? what was he dreaming about, they didn’t press the springs on him, this is a person’s profession, yes, this is a dream job, you know, okay, that’s when work and rest coincide, by the way, one famous writer was asked what his daily routine is, he answered: “well, what can i tell you, i get up at 11:00, have breakfast at 12:00, then look through email, answer phone

calls, then a walk in the park, lunch, theater in bed. he is asked the question: when do you study literary work? says, well, when? the next day, of course, now one such writer, humorist, will appear on stage and will delight you with what he wrote on stage, leon izmailov! let's meet! i want to talk about myself, so honestly, like in spirit. now i’m tall, handsome, blond with blue eyes, yes, i know three foreign languages, i have a second rank in boxing, a third

in chess, women love me very much, i have only one drawback, i’m terribly fond of converting, which means i was an excellent student at school in physical education, i'm doing sports now, well so... i did some gymnastics just now, this morning i got up, washed myself, everything suddenly lay down on the floor, my back, stretched out my arms along my body and fell asleep, started jogging, ran half a kilometer, came back by taxi, in my youth i went in for horse riding, really i was an equestrian, the horses loved me, they always laughed at my jokes, like that. i have a higher technical education, once it even helped me in life, i was riding on the subway, a girl was sitting next to me, solving a crossfort, i couldn’t guess a six-letter word,

a flying machine for baba yaga, i i suggested, i say, broom, she says, how do you know, i say, well, after all, i graduated from the aviation institute, after the aviation institute i completed japanese language courses. and now i can open a japanese zoltik without a translator, after japanese language courses i completed higher screenwriting courses, where i learned to watch good films and write bad scripts, you know, i’m not a good dancer, something always bothers me, i never dance in public, so that you don’t think that i’m making faces, in general i need to tell you that when i was young, that’s where i am most.

well, what else can i tell you about myself? i’m not handsome, but when they say that they love me not for my beauty, but for my character, i just go wild, because my character is even worse, i’m

a monogamist, i love only myself, well, in my youth i was fond of women, but i’ve always had an iron principle , my friend’s wife is not a woman for me, but if she is very beautiful, he is not my friend. you know, i’ve always been smart enough to understand that i’m not very smart, in general it’s good to be friends with me, especially for those people who have a lot of money, so i absolutely unselfishly love those people who can help me financially, i can’t stand it when they look at how i eat, so when they look at me, i immediately try to eat gracefully and beautifully, and either i will choke or the tea will go through my nose, you know the time, i was on a diet, which means kefir for breakfast, for lunch kefir, for half a day kefir, for dinner borscht with sour cream, potatoes with

cutlets, two kebabs three clerics, but now, now i’m on such a gentle diet, i don’t eat after one in the morning, i think my wife is pretty, she has only one drawback, her husband, that is, me, one day she came cheerful, so cheerful from the market, it turns out that she i managed to exchange all our rubles for dollars at a good rate from the gypsies, yes, i looked, the dollar is real, only for some reason the american president is wearing a cap with a gold tooth, once she didn’t talk to me for 2 days because she saw me in a dream with some - whores, what else? you know, alone, she, she recently found my characteristics from kindergarten, and it says, sleeps well, eats, walks, she

tells me, that’s how old she is? passed, but nothing has changed, well, in general, guys, i want to ask you, tell me, no it’s a shame that the cat does nothing all day, just eats and sleeps, and his wife still loves him, but i still love her too, i love her, you know, once we even sat down to drink for love, we separated we already have the police, and you know in general what love is, love is when you’re already sober, it’s still there... yes, well, what else can i say, i’m very kind, resourceful, resourceful, once in my striptease bar ran out of money, then i stripped my panties and shouted, thank you, yes, i also had this habit, i smoked after sex a cigarette, that's how i gradually quit smoking,

the last thing, when i... feel ashamed of my behavior, i remember that people like alexei panin, nikita dzhigurda live in the world, and i feel better, oh, you know, karen, it happens that the husband, for example, has a vacation in may, and the wife in august, can you imagine, they go on vacation separately, so... i wonder how, in this case, not to succumb to the temptation to remain faithful? it’s very simple, lenochka, i heard one woman, before going on vacation, bought her husband a fidelity train, well, she set her husband up in the middle of the room and surrounded it with bottles of cognac. what kind of women are there, he couldn’t even leave the circle for two weeks. oh, you know, i heard that

i’m sending another woman. already on vacation at night i wrote to his back in green: married, two children, when he returned, there was a note on his back, congratulations, soon there will be a third, yes, women are great comedians, now a woman will appear on this stage, humor that everyone will like, meet natalya koresteleva ! in our songs, men are so gentle, affectionate, romantic, but knights are just ready for our sake, everything is completely different in life.

ya decided to sing our songs as it happens in life, and not as the poets fantasized. have you heard this song: i’ll buy you a house by a pond in the moscow region, have you heard? remember how it goes further in the text, remember? it means that he bought her a house, led her there by the hand, and there she sits and looks: and a white swan on the pond rocks the fallen one. ride, girls, raise your hand, to whom a man gave a house in the moscow region with swans, well, at least one hand, that’s right, because in life this doesn’t happen, in life it happens like this, i’ll buy you a house by a pond in the moscow region, i’ll plant a vegetable garden and... i’ll buy a bat, 20 beds

of beets, 40 beds of carrots, in nature , so that you can relax, like a black negor in a malipa, you drag him to the post on a box, you scream, that all this is not... you ended up in a coffin, and i’m still on that pig pond about 40 times, so that you rest here in 30 days of the year, and hear this song, all sunrises and fogs for you.

there are flower meadows for you, what flower meadows, and he will give you one carnation for 30 rubles, you know such a match broken like that, in general... actually, to be honest, this a song, a husband would sing to his wife like this, everything for you, a stove and a meat grinder for you, a broom, a dog and a sponge for you, a washing machine with salt for you, and for me, stefan and a tv for me, and vara with scripted for me. friends, fishing, a bathhouse for me, for you, half a squat for you, washing windows in a hurry for you, and playing around like a farm laborer

for you, afilya, filya, remember, i forgot, my only one, honestly, the life of a man there is only one creature that he loves, cherishes, cherishes, and is ready dedicate these lines to him, my only one, bmpvx5, new, not wrinkled, taken on credit for 100 years, why do i need it now, wife, you’re better. why is she, you rush me so fast, and most importantly you are always silent, and this song, you heard, stas mikhailov sings, you heard, it means there is

a man left by his wife, and this man sings, without you, without you, oh-oh, everything is unnecessary at once i got up without you, uh... it’s just very bad without you, i’m wasting my life in vain, but you see that a man without a wife came to the resort and wasting his life in vain, but he doesn’t believe the man and rightly so, because... in fact, a free man without a wife would sing this song like this, without you, without you, i immediately had money,

the shopping and running around stopped, your peterina doesn’t fit into my pocket, without you, without you! “and all your relatives got off my neck, you can’t hear your stupid cat, and why don’t you call me sniffed, but in any case it became better, without you, fool, we heard, we heard, yegor krit sings such a wise philosophical song, there, it means the guy fell in love with..." the girl and his mother she says, oh god, mom, mom, i 'm going crazy, her smile, mom is dizzy, oh, it's only in songs, but men, in the lives of men

, something completely different excites me, oh god, mom, mom, i'm going crazy, her apartment, mom is dizzy, 100 m square mom, younger i am parquet, i don’t care that she is 78 years old, men, our dears, please be in life as you are in songs, gentle, affectionate, romantic, then between us there will definitely be... eternal love, it, like the sun, a ray, will touch us, dispel the gloom, its string,

only two can hear, the clear light of love, will warm us in the snowy february, and... sadness is happening in tenderness, sending away the pig from the distance of gray days. the loyalty of loving hearts will melt , the everyday life will melt and we will take off, then your soul will cling to my soul, eternal love, as if two wings are soaring again. they give you mirrors, through the years, you and i

are always together, guys, and if you love us, we’ll forgive you everything else, then to hell with it, we’ll let you eat from the pan, we’ll let you, and we’ll let you throw socks everywhere. unshave them pester you, snore at night, sing loudly in the shower out of tune in the morning, hang out with friends in the garage all night, walk around in your underpants and with croaks in your mustache, because eternal love. what is she stronger than, from all adversity, she

must save, and only love, we need, it is alone, only love is important. well, how can my heir not be naughty, today there are nannies and i’m just not happy, anna completely suits me, she’s beautiful, smart, modest, take it, don’t, what are you breaking?

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helen, i’m thinking of going to a sanatorium to improve my health. karen, that's a great idea. they say they heal everyone there, you know, yes, in one sanatorium, mine, there is such a procedure, hydromassage, you know, when they massage you with a stream of water like that, listen, so,

one vacationer was massaged, massaged, they accidentally turned on boiling water . he jumped up and ran away, so what, i would have run away too, yes, but before that he was paralyzed for 2 years, by the way, let ’s now also carry out a health procedure right in the hall, hush, hush, karen, do you want to pour boiling water on the audience , why boiling water, humor, laughter and excellent jokes, because gennady vetrov is on stage. friends, today i want to talk about hobbies. to be honest, i have several hobbies. i like to compose short musical impromptu songs on a given topic. well, for example,

the current one. there's really no way to go anywhere today. this is the topic. at least i haven’t been to grenoble. not in ulaanbaatar, but i rode the escalator in pain, there is also such a theme, marmalade mood, tatyana demarmaladed, after cakes and water pipes, tatyana shook her breasts, all demarmaladed, everyone has different hobbies, there is people are very keen, by the way, i have a friend, his name is uncle lenya, nicknamed deadline, he, he suffers, he even says, gen, well, because of my hobby, i very often end up, you know, in intensive care, i got a hematoma. the whole body, you understand that there was a concussion, and recently there was a fracture, you understand, i say, what is your hobby, what hobby, he says, yes, i am interested in women, strangers, and my wife

is interested in strength martial arts, but only with me, you know, wins all the time, i say yes, he yes, she's just in the past, she sleeper of the fourth category, i say, how many categories do they have, three, but she has the fourth, you know, i say, yes, if such a... difficult life, get a divorce, he says, yeah, she said, try it, we'll see later on you, who will need you, not a walker, well, someone goes to pick mushrooms in the forest, someone collects stamps, someone collects medals, someone collects badges, i have a friend, he collects euros, so, but not only that, he collects everything related to the metro, old tokens and photos in retro style, and recently... looked at us slyly, he wanted to buy a chain of metro stores, but there weren’t

enough euros in his collection, a very original man, you know how apollo gerasim called his son with a double name, i say, what’s so, he says, well, apollo, beautiful, i say, well , i agree, and gerasim says, what if life doesn’t work out, but his life has worked out, he has everything and... recently he invites me to his birthday, i’m thinking what to give to the person who has everything yes, yes, i remember, i have another hobby, i draw paintings, yes, i draw, so, and he invites me to his birthday, and, you know, i tried, i made him laugh, just a painting, here i bring it, he looked, said, gent... you guys are smart artists , that’s what you can’t come up with, as long as you don’t have to spend money on a gift, but what is even drawn in the picture,

but what is it called, and there are a lot of lines, i have a lot of lines and - you know, this kind of abstractionism and i say, well, this picture is called, it means decorative rhododendran from the arboretum in the rain, he whom in the rain, i say, never mind, what would you call it? “well, as i would call it, look, there are a lot of lines here, very, very many lines, i would call the moscow roundabout through the eyes of sobyanin, or look, a drunken bee, lost its navigator, is looking for the way home, you see, yes, or is it a corporation in an anthill, you see how much stuff there is, or the spiders are at their best, i say, stop being fussy, i say, what if my rhododendrons from the arboretum will later cost 50 million dollars like vangogh’s irises, he says, let me bring it, then he asked me a question, not an eyebrow, in an eye, understand, my friend, this

is not a whim at all, i’ll hang a picture in the bedroom even now, i just wish i knew where it’s up and where it’s down, we can voice the next picture with you together, the first three lines are me, and the fourth line is you, this is the name of the picture on the road. on the road we see a magic wand, cooler than that of harry potter and the skier. this stick, which is also very bready, is the stick of a russian traffic cop, a traffic cop. well, that's right, by the way, not my picture, not mine at all. no, no, my friend i drew it, i say: you shouldn’t do that, they might stop you on the road, you know, they might not like your movement along the highway. a traffic cop, he says: gene, firstly, i don’t break the rules, yes, and secondly, in

47 years, the traffic police have never stopped me, i say, well, i’m lucky, he says, i’m lucky, because i ride a trolleybus , “it didn’t work out with my cars,” he says, “i lift the hood, my mood drops, i can’t understand anything, it’s like in your picture, by the way, that’s how i lost a friend.” do you know what the best praise for an artist is? unpleasant, so sophisticated, you know, here’s a person looking at a picture, he says, well , the frame is amazing, well, the frame is just wonderful, you know, by the way, the frame can impress better than the canvas itself, and this was confirmed in one of the london galleries, a painting with an abstract content measuring 2 by 2 in an oak frame... it was the most powerful effect of art on a person, everyone then asks

how, why, and what? but because it wasn’t necessary every morning. come to work with the words: hello, brain, such an expert will voice the following picture: you can’t understand where the nose is, where the eyebrows are, where the eyes are, there is no beauty in the picture and no aesthetics, look at the caption, what kind of beauty is this, a portrait of the morning, lelya palna without makeup, by the way, in almost every art gallery, if there are visitors. you can hear approximately the same reaction from such folk experts, people, people, people, well, look, well, i found out, well, this one, what’s his name, well , you know, people, this one, she’s like rubens, no, no, no, no, ours, ours, what did lyokha say when he dropped the vase, ah, vazovsky, ah, vazovsky, here, and this is the one who drew monuliza, salvador drew monuliza, which is in the distance, and what is this, what is this?

frighteningly painted, but with potatoes, two cheeks half a kilo each, wait, it’s all not painted, hedgehog cat, it’s just a mirror, luda, luda, luda, what is this, what is this here and an incomprehensible mess, everything is mixed up , arms, legs, how much in vain, although the caption under the picture is adequate, january 2,

lena, what do you think is the best exercise for health? i don’t know, well, running , swimming, aerobics, no, no, recounting money, okay, i answer, this exercise relieves joint pain, normalizes blood pressure, improves appearance, removes headaches, relieves sadness, oh, karen, i know another remedy for sadness, do you know what, no, listen, if you are sad , you need to attach a ticket to our concert, wait, where to apply, and where you are sad, apply there, lenushka, and if you don’t have a ticket, well then turn on the tv and watch for free, i promise, be sad as never before, because igor khristenko is on stage , we meet.

hello, hello, dear viewers, 1975, little blue light, and then, for the first time on still black and white screens, an amazing character appeared, which i... imagine for a few minutes, how could this student of a culinary college exist in ours, well, all in all, probably a difficult time.

i’m sitting, playing on the computer, then my mother says: son, it’s time for you to get married, i say, mom, why did you decide that? she says: well... well , because, because, because you are already 58 years old, well, well, mom, well, maybe i ’ll get a little closer, about 10, 20 years, she says, uh-huh, wait, a bride will come to you, in a black

hood with a braid, get married quickly, or else, or else, or else... i’ll turn off the computer, i was scared, i think, no, i need to get married urgently before saturday, uh-huh, well, because , because on saturdays my friend and i play tanks on the computer.

about myself in bed, the gopher is hibernating, and then my mother says, son, i told about you at work with our accountant. nadya, she, she heard that there was a man in the city who

was not yet familiar to her, her eyes lit up, she said, i’ll come tonight, i came, i i open the door, look, and her skirt is so short, uh-huh, apparently she lives poor, uh-huh, and she looks at me like that, says, ha, you look alike, isn’t it boring for you to be alone all the time, i say, well... i’m not alone, i have a dog, bulka, a very rare breed, yes, she says, and in the evenings the coon usually goes, i

say, well, to the toilet, uh-huh, i wash my face, brush my teeth, then i say good night, and baenki. she says: well, maybe we’ll go somewhere in the evening together, i say: well, well, we won’t fit there, the booth is very narrow, she says, what is this, well, look at me, i’m a woman, divorced for 18 years. what do you think i’m waiting for, i say, well, a pension, and she, she grabs

a strawberry from a bowl, and god, let’s spoil this poor strawberry, i look at her, i think, she’s hungry, i need to go hide the cutlets , otherwise it will devour everything, and she grabbed me by the neck and whispered: bite, bite, bite me, i say, so, i say, you ask for the bulk, she bites well, she says, what is it, well , well, let's do something with you already... decently, i say, well, great, let’s spit from the balcony, and she, she’s like that, she’s like that, she comes at me and says: well, undress me, well , undress me, i look at her, i think, she’s

a tunic, well, well, i , when i was 3 years old, i was already undressing myself, i just hung my knee socks and shorts on a chair, and this one over there is 40 years old, a lazy mare, i say, i undress myself, you see what a girl, she says: i understand, she turned the tape recorder on... the table jumped up and let's take off my clothes on the table to the music and throw them in the corners. i look at it all, i think this is it what kind of housewife will she be if she puts her panties on the chandelier, she jumps off the table, walks like that, breathes on me , licks her lips like that. he has asthma and epilepsy,

then the bully fulfilled her dream of biting, right at the place where she was wagging on the table, she screamed, you idiot, so you didn’t understand why i came, so here with my bully, she ran away, well so these are women, why did i come here to you today, well, well, maybe there is, in this room, one woman. unmarried, kind, who wants

to play tank with me tonight. premiere so i won’t miss the black next time.

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