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tv   Vesti  RUSSIA1  April 27, 2024 4:00pm-4:31pm MSK

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are revealed in the titanic luxury collection bodrum. five of us ate a snack in the yard, pies, filling, a lucky egg, everything on him with respect. you walked around the restaurant, head raised, although on all fours. i’ll put off all my work, either i’ll throw a shugan or i’ll set the hut on fire. just not to work, right? full house? and the company will premiere on may 1st on rtr. i love, you know, late in the evening, turn off the tv and read old humorous magazines, in which there are stories, jokes, poems, epigrams, caricatures; countless humorous revolutionary magazines published them in russia. sirikon, strikoza, jester, laugher,
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eccentric, hippopotamus, scourge, cheerful joker, bully, penny leaf, world humor, whip, fragments, wit, satyr's laughter, paw, red pepper, auditor and so on, so on, more than a hundred humorous magazines were published in russia, because they were in demand, since our people have always appreciated humor, you can tell me, so what you are in the past... look at everything, talk about today. well, firstly, the history of humor should be known to all lovers of humor, which you are, since you watch our program, and secondly, we are, in fact, mainly talking about today. i recently found out that in life there is a norm of laughing a day. yes, i found special calculations on the internet, and what surprised me was that these standards say that a woman and a man should laugh a different number of times a day. i have
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a question for you, how much do you think a woman should laugh per day to function normally? 24 hours, this is already a fool, woman, excuse me, no offense, this is a diagnosis, you want to communicate during the day, she is busy at night, she is busy, 24 hours, yes, no, a woman should laugh at least 20 times a day, a man about 50 , yes, to claim that it takes longer to reach us, so the norm is already worn out, friends, there is only one laughter in life, you need to remember the funny situations that arise in everyone, but i ’ll tell you mine, i was on tour on the black sea coast last year, after a solo concert in sochi, i’m going to the laser serpentine, as a passenger, dozed off, pushing the drivers, says gennady, i stopped, look, you will be interested, i see, the opposite side of the road is illuminated on the side of the road, there is a cow, sad, sad, like that, with her muzzle lowered, her muzzle is guilty, to be honest, around trigoishniks stand like this without moving.
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i tell the driver and what does he say: nothing, will they give me money now? well, you understand that this is an allegory, right? i told this story to a foreigner, he said: did they have a bucket with them? i must say that there are a lot of funny things on every kilometer of life, i perform in different regions, just in case i ask drivers not to speed up, but here in the southern urals they gave me vitalik, but i didn’t have time to ask him for anything, and he himself drove 40 km /h, by his standards, he was just driving the forty, he was driving him, we were late everywhere we could, and i’m pushing him hand at the end of the tour, i say, vital, well , no one drove me better than you, he thought i was kidding, he said, gennady, i would have accelerated, i just don’t see a damn thing. i say, how are you driving? i always wear glasses, but i look at them like a fool, i think, suddenly there will be a photo with you, but i took them off in advance, we have so many funny things on the trains, it’s a long distance to go, and i met a man in adleri, and he is from khabarovsk, i say how did you get here to adler, he says by train, i say how long does it take the train
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to get here from khabarovsk to adler, he the ambulance says, i say, well, what kind of car were you driving, well, gennady, i can’t crawl on a simple one, only in an ambulance, i say, well, how many six days, wow, but it’s a long vacation, he says: 2 weeks, the most important thing have time to wet your swimming trunks in time while the laundry is being put on the train on the way back, yes, i ’ll react the same way as you, he says gennady, well , that’s six days, if according to the schedule, if you go correctly the first three days, in three you’ll get there, like the other three don’t remember, he told me that my husband and i were traveling along this route wife, husband travels for three days, as the guys advised, on the fourth he opens his eyes, my dear, look, the station and beer are sold, it’s so dry in the compartment, i’d go for a beer , i drank myself, dry myself, the point of the message, you know me, he is i know you, i know you, a beer drinker, he fell out of the carriage, climbed some rails, the other perched on the platform, as luck would have it, there was a line for beer, he said: people, please, can i skip the line, then i
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might be late for the train, we’re all with of this train, i understand, i stand up, i got it, he takes a beer, starts moving, he... it’s stupid not to look stupid, hears a new daddy in the compartment, talking with his wife, daddy says: well, let’s get acquainted, victor, a businessman, the wife says: very nice, lilya, widow, men, what do i need, pay more attention,
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especially on vacation, yes, we have very beautiful women, eye to eye, by the way, i’m on vacation, i notice a lot of interesting things, especially this... which can’t be said about other options, and a woman is walking along the beach, maybe she was once a size forty-four and when -i made a boat tattoo on my stomach, years have passed, this size sixty-eight is walking along the beach along the folds of his stomach, as if such a sailboat with tattered torn sails is just floating on the waves.
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to pinelope, says: guy, you don’t feel sorry for the breasts, no, i love it so much, but if possible, a full -chest penilop ukrus, well, they made a full- chest penilop ukrus for him, five years have passed, he has matured, now hair has appeared , now she doesn’t undress anywhere, even on the beach, she says, when you go to the beach, unbutton your shirt, he , yeah, i just unbutton it, it’s all over right away, you shave her beard, she’s an aunt famous, keep an eye on her, sometimes it gets to the point of insanity, a friend of mine says, gen, i myself saw my family and i relaxing in anapa, on the beach, sunbathing, a man walking along the beach , so lean, in swimming trunks, lean, so, you know, seen views, she has such tattoos on her legs, they are tired of walking, you know, on her hands, they
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are tired of working, where is the heart, it is tired of loving, another man is lying there, he says, now he will take off his swimming trunks, fatigue is everywhere. a fashionista came to the salon, told the young master, he heard that i had two eyes for tattooing, so that they were like human eyes, two eyes, like alive, so that there are two eyes on the back below the tailbone, let's get a tattoo, i understand, oh, yes, in general, i don't mind, well... what good will they see there, it's not for you to wear, i'm crying, you 're doing it, no i need your opinion, let ’s do it, well, he made two eyes for her below the tailbone, whoever saw it, says, it’s scary, well , just scary, look at you with living eyes from there, in life you’ll never guess what awaits you ahead, but with such - with her eyes from behind, in general, in general, she had to go to an appointment with a practitioner, now the crawler reacts, the crawler asks: who is this? any, no dentist, and the proctologist was a very experienced
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guy, you know, about 70 years old, as they say, well-worn, and he later tells his friends, says: i do an examination in the office, only i’m a patient, i look where i need to, without being distracted , suddenly i feel someone’s gaze on me, these people, for 50 years i was looking towards the coccyx and for the first time... the coccyx looked at me, friends, think about getting a tattoo, remember today’s reaction, maybe don’t rush, bye, old man focus, sawing a man in half. having been in this situation, it’s safe to say i have a split personality. one spectator approached
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the magician after the performance, i saw your act about 20 years ago, only the woman you sawed then was different, she was much taller than this one, to which the magician replied, you’re wrong, the woman is the same, she’s just leaving over the years. in sawdust, this is such harsh humor, humor, in fact, if an artist is engaged in sawing people, why can’t the humor be the same, chilling, one illusionist, while sawing his wife, used to say, meet my other half.
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possible, shut your mouth and eat sub, pray to the basics of religion that this muck will wash off, logic, because i said so, perseverance, you won’t leave the table until you finish, boldly look into the future, but i ’ll arrange a home for you, basics of genetics , you are the same as your father, cause-and-effect relationships, you won’t go anywhere until the whole apartment ... shine in achieving your goals, you want tea, go to the lei, independence, i ’m not your housekeeper here, take various forms, wrap it up , mommy, i love you,
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my wife called recently and told me to come to kindergarten, i asked... why do i need her, you’re stupid, to pick up a child, for someone it’s a trivial task, but i got hit with my heel, i’m busy with my career day and night, seven days a week, you know, i’m a child, i see him only when he is sleeping, and remembering a face in the dark is not easy, as anyone will confirm, “with great difficulty, i was able to find the kindergartener at the address, but then the question arose, who should i pick up in this kindergarten, i should ask who is my nanny here , but i’m silent, in case they misunderstand, and i decided to wait until the mothers sort them all out, so
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there will be no mistake, for sure, who will stay? “he’s both mine, and it doesn’t matter whether he’s a son or a daughter, i’ll accept any option, well, in short, i’m sitting in ambush, in an hour or half an hour, there are only two left in the kindergarten, a girl and a boy, enters dad, but finally, choose, let's go home, but looking at the children, the father suddenly quietly sat down with me. then i realized that this frame, like i came for the first time, so to speak, is a debutant in the kindergarten, whoever stays is waiting. he's a goat, just admire him, but what a personality, i'm amazed at people like this, you have to be so indifferent to your family, so what do we care about him?
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was to do, cast lots 0.2 to call, he is all red, and i am all white, we are waiting for who will outlast whom, so we would sit tensely, maybe a year, maybe 100 nights, only at night the wives rushed in, took us and the children, that’s all , hapienne, we were saved, but doubt crept into me, to be honest, i see my wife, also at night in the pitch darkness. a subtle question arises, which still does not give me sleep, what if it was not my wife who took me and my child.
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it. hammer smith hydrablast is high-performance pressure cleaning without compromise. and today only, call and order the revolutionary hammer smith hydra blast with its highly efficient 150w motor, powerful lithium battery, five meter high pressure hose and high quality nanofilter, all this will get you for an incredible 5995, and if you order right now, then as a gift you will receive a container for shampoo and a special spray nozzle for a larger coverage area, all this is absolutely free, but hurry up, offer is strictly limited. you're bored with your old fence, you want to update your bathhouse or terrace, but repair or replacement is a big deal. will hit your budget, we bring to your attention a universal photo facade for a fence, bright life, with its help you can easily and quickly transform your suburban area beyond
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deviate, artists. those we invited to may 1st still haven’t left, these people will kill anyone who can’t stand it right now, you will be offered a hot dinner, you had two apples, i ate one, i ate one, that’s it, i’m calling on my patience zheloknu.
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poet and humorist of the past, yuri blagov: my ex-husband is worse than a scoundrel, my ex-husband is an evil creature, i curse the evening when i first saw him, he is a slacker, a swindler, a slob, a mold, an alcoholic, a womanizer, just creepy, why? i can be useful to you, help me get him back, i like the theater enthusiast, i lost interest in him a long time ago, i have to undress every time there, that’s why cinema is dearer to me, it’s difficult to understand the cinema, it’s easier to watch tv at home, i don’t only have to undress here, i don’t even need to get dressed,
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the gopher laughs in an uncomfortable hole, a bug has tipped over its back, a hedgehog is laughing, rushing up the hill, the fool has completely lost his mind, birds are flying in strange circles, and a filly is neighing, foaming at the mouth, a centipede is kicking its legs, the tamer's tears are flowing from laughter, the grasshoppers are laughing. somewhere in the grass, a mouse, a snake, a foot-and-mouth aphid, it was sultry, dry summer, hemp fields were burning, individual actors once performed only with humorous poems, in the sixties, when i was an entertainer, i also read
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humorous poems, now in 60 years, i want to test whether they will sound like this today , as before, have they survived over time? the first poem, an incident on the river by igor katkov, a living creature was drowning in the river, on the shore... i stood in a crowd, shouting, i was worried, who would save, who dared, then the daredevil flew into the abyss, waved his other hand at once, he soul he saved the dying woman, there was a roar of approval in the crowd, the hero wondered, but who pushed me?
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ask, what is the point here? to do a good deed, it’s not a sin to push. boris timofeev, the poem is called john's matchmaking. once upon a time i found it in one of the collections and took it to the stage, it was a great success, and even...
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the young man’s gaze burns with tender passion, but the father says to his son with a sigh:

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