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hello, dear friends, hello, our beloved viewers of the “parade of humor” program on air. lena, i have such a good day today, congratulate me. congratulations, karen, but for what? i did.

i saved on this, how much? well, according to the most conservative estimates, about 200 kilograms of nerves, 30 buckets of tears, and if you count scandals, then there are definitely 10 scandals. oh, to say that you surprised me, karen, is to say nothing, let’s talk about renovations today, because now a wonderful actress will appear on the stage of the humor parade for us natalya will tell you about the renovation, meet the stage.

men, please forgive me for what i ’m going to say, for many years i was afraid to say this , let alone from the stage, even to grunt in my kitchen, but now i’ll do it, guys, you’re stupid, no, i’m very fond of you i feel good about it, i love it, i adore it, but what it is, that is, look, an acquaintance calls me and says: where are you? i say: i’m in the store, he: what are you doing? this is a question from an intelligent person, what can a person do in a store? or so, a woman walked around the shopping center for 6 hours, you see, yes, girls, it’s all gone, 6 o’clock, here

she comes out with a cart, boxes, packages, bags, there’s a sale, here my mother also took it for her grandmother, a friend calls, and just the thirty- seventh light green, you know, yes, it comes, holds packages, bags, boxes, her husband asks her: how much money do you have left, she wouldn’t have come out if she had even a penny left, oh, stupid, when you start to go bald and let’s pile this lousy house on your head, you don’t know , yes, they comb it to the side like this , comb it to the side so that it’s unnoticeable, and you saw what happens when the wind, and this comb, like the lid on a boiling kettle, opens... why close the chest, stupid, we don’t love you for your hair, it’s always easy to spot a man in an apartment, you walk in and the front door, a hat , jacket, sneakers, jeans, t-shirt, t-shirt, panties, socks, body, and in the morning it’s in reverse order,

folds up like a nesting doll, and this warehouse of your socks under the bed, saw yes, i’m here somehow... with a flashlight i climbed in like this, and my mother is honest, and there are so many of them, as if you are not a man, centipede, here are the girls, i can’t understand one thing, that’s how it is, look, a man found america, columbus, a man found australia, a man found antarctica, where he took off his pants yesterday, he can’t find it, and also such a man’s stupidity, watching football and yelling, after all... or yes, an attraction, let's hit you, what the hell are you, what a moment, what an orno, you're sitting in your kitchen in beryulyovo, they're playing in argentina, they what will they hear, for example, i really like

watching ballet, but i don’t shout to the ballerina tv, come on, fouettes, why have you become like a sheep, spin around. there he comes, jump on him, and ballerina, when she does something successfully, she doesn’t run around like that, she doesn’t pull a tutu over her head, oh, stupid, showing off her nails, beautiful, yes, 1500 for this crap, for some reason it is believed that we girls are stupid, we like to look in the mirror, but they don’t like smart ones. have you seen a man walking along a glass display case? no, i’ll show you now, here’s a glass display case, here he comes, the display case

is over, girls, they’re so stupid, they they don’t even understand what the plates are for. we saw, yes, it’s standing, straight from the pan, eating like that, slurping, still scratching its leg like a horse, i had a spoon with a slotted spoon, you know the kind to skim off the foam, then i look, it’s not there anywhere, i searched all the drawers, but it’s not there anywhere, i say , you haven’t seen the spoon, he says, i threw it away, it’s full of holes, or he’s driving somewhere, got lost, doesn’t know the way, already had a fight with the navigator, turned it off, well... logically, what needs to be done, yes, girls, well, stick that face out the window, tell me, guys, how can i get here, yes, no, people, covisitis will stick all over the area, he won’t ask for directions, don’t humiliate himself, but how stupidly you raise children, a child is sitting, playing a computer game, he comes up,

computer games dull, and do not turn a person into a moron, into an idiot, kicked the child out and sat down to play himself. and fishing, no, i understand when it’s spring, summer, birds, for god’s sake, beauty, nature, but in winter, cold, blizzard, -2. 25, no, they get in, 5 am in the car, go by car, then they have this market income, then they drill, get in, this parkinson’s starts, i’ll catch two gudgeon, photo shoots, i’ve been drinking for a week, keeping the maggots in the refrigerator is the smart thing to do, i reached into the refrigerator, where is my miracle curd, and there’s this? in general, guys, you are stupid and in the whole wide world there is only one creature

who is even dumber than a man, this is a woman who loves you madly. oh, karen, listen, i was recently told some worldly wisdom about how you can save money on renovations, it’s very interesting, yes, it turns out that if you bought an apartment, you can’t start renovations right away, you first need to move in there and live there, somewhere karen six months, until all the other residents have completed their renovations, then another six months, so that the house sits down, you know, then another six months, until the entrance is completely renovated...

meet the funniest artist of our stage, igor momenko. the husband comes home, drunk, the whole family is standing there, wife, children, the wife says: how could you get so drunk? stepan, shame on you. "the children look at you, the older ones look at you, he wants to be like you, who should he be like after this,

he pushed like a pig, thank you, my husband is coming back late at night, it’s unclear from where, his wife, where he was, he was playing billiards, 3:00 in the morning, well..." the balls didn’t fit well into the pocket, quickly into bed, he went to bed, he got a text message on his cell phone, beep, he takes the phone , mobile, goes to the bath, closes himself, reads, it was amazing, you are a miracle, fantastic, i really liked it, let's do it again, he writes, i also liked it extraordinarily, let's do it again tomorrow, it's enough to go to bed, his wife , where he was, the same question, in the museum in the bathroom, of course, what he did, hands

i washed it, why did i take my mobile phone, they also showed something on telecom fashion, a fashion show, we’ve never seen it, as if they dug up a graveyard somewhere, skeletons crawled out from there to the music, marching, that’s right, by the way, they called it a fashion show, they’re walking like that , where’s the fillet? our woman still has the ural mountains, well , behind us there is a huge transbaikal, with our woman a man

feels like conquerors in great open spaces, mine still has places where i have never been, he’s only been married for 20 years, he hasn’t gotten around to it yet, in this glossy winter magazine is in italian style, and the girl is worth smiling, mini skirt that goes all the way to your butt, are you in siberia? so take a walk, under this mini-skirt you will get full of snow under your panties, you will be tortured to shovel it out, and your husband will sprinkle you with salt at night so that you don’t slip while performing your marital duty, i’ll see how you get wet. well, why are we looking at them, our women are the best, why aren’t they so runny, arms, twigs, legs, twigs, my natka’s navel, you’ll shout an echo from there, our woman is like the sea, you can swim in her, jump, swing on the waves, the main thing hold on to the buoys so that it doesn’t

blow away, our woman is a russian field, there plow do not plow. sometimes she gets so dirty that the plow bends, we dig up potatoes in the garden, we don’t even need a shovel, her left arm is a shovel, her right is a bayonet, and the two walking together are an excavator, i see an advertisement, you won’t kill them there, a roach in a skirt is talking, reach him , a light cloud of cottage cheese, delicate cream with pieces of fruit, an exquisite delicacy of only 60 calories, on domestic television should sit on... a normal woman, beautiful, as my natka says, porky, a light cloud of lard, tender pieces of knuckle, floating in jellied meat with dumplings, an exquisite delicacy, only 600 calories, their fashion does not suit us, my soul decided to get a

navel piercing, the piercer could not pierce it, there is a 20 cm layer of beauty, only a drill. mine didn’t even raise an eyebrow, and this is fashion, to wear trousers so that the tummy is visible, my tummy appeared all over the trousers, like a canopy over the entrance, it started to rain, the kindergarten hid there with the teacher, and thongs are a mockery of a russian woman , take our domestic underpants, everything is reliable covered from all sides, the enemy won’t get through, the border is locked, pointy, this is a passage yard and most importantly, these haircuts are not suitable for our women, it’s all about carrying two watermelons with one cord, they don’t fit on mikhmotny quirks, that my nadyuha got a job at belly dancing , coach, who showed her how to twist this belly, in vain showed her, may, how he launched this

pendulum of death, people were flying around the hall like...

they were laying out food, like on a table, she says, i want the same, well, i covered the clearing , navel poured borscht, saucepan, cut sausages, lard i ate some potatoes, ate them for a whole week, the whole crew came home from work, and ate lunch with only one hand, the rest of the table finished itself, thank you, god, in general , women, girls, are the best, the most beautiful, we love you like that , what you are, i want to tell you in poetry, but i’m not very good at poetry, so let nikolai alekseevich nikrasov help me, there are women in russian villages with great holy souls, what for do we need the corrupted west, where women sing with beards, and let the foreign toads squirm at the fashion show, dear russian women, there is no one

on earth more beautiful than you, thank you. you're definitely doing well, you just never usually stick around. premiere on rtr. will you leave me without a morning kiss? i have a husband, a job, stability. i'm unhappy. and you take it... brazenly write travel, happiness, good luck into your schedule. anna taratorkina. who are you, how did you get here? this is my number, dmitry miller. i'll have to admit that you like me, when we crossed over, alexey fatiev, who's there with you, i'm alone, it's just an accident, what

idiot, you can plan a vacation, but love, i don’t understand anything myself, i need to figure it all out, a melody for yours, from monday on rtr. are you bored with your old fence, do you want to update your bathhouse or terrace, but repair or replacement will hit your budget? we bring to your attention a universal photo facade for a fence, bright life. with its help, you can easily and quickly transform your suburban area beyond recognition. a fence, terrace, gazebo will be updated in an instant without expensive repairs and painting, four bright beautiful colors to choose from. everything, that you need to do. drink the photofacade in a way convenient for you. this is a ready-made solution. photo facade - bright life is suitable for any type of fence, wooden, stone or metal. if contamination appears

, just rinse it with water. beautiful, fast, convenient and easy. call to order a universal photo facade for the fence bright life at a special price. just from 9.95. just choose the appropriate design and create a unique look for your suburban area. cleaning floors is a tedious and dirty process that turns into torture for you, your back and arms. forget about exhausting cleaning on all fours, stop using a broom and dustpan, use a clunky vacuum cleaner that is not capable of cleaning the most inaccessible places, all this is a thing of the past, now you can remove dirt, dust, crumbs, hair, wet food debris and even broken glass quickly and easily. with the brand new livington dipper sweeper. the dipper swipper impresses with its original triangular design and

innovative tribrush technology. three separate high-speed rotating brushes on each side they sweep everything inward. no matter which direction you point the cleaning head. even the smallest debris will be swept into the container. moreover, a durable angled brush located at the front. gets into every corner, even where vacuum cleaners can't, when the cleaning is done, it can also be easily cleaned with just one click of a button, it is ideal for hard surfaces, all types of floors, be it tiles or laminate. the swivel head easily avoids any obstacle, and thanks to its ultra-flat design, you can easily clean under furniture, which is usually very difficult to reach. and only today unique, brilliant. corner bumpers that protect your furniture, baseboards and walls from scratches can

be yours for just 89.95, but if you call and order right now, you will receive an incredible discount of 20 euros, and the livington dipper swipper will get you for an incredible 6995, but hurry up, offer. limited. introducing the richest source of high quality omega-3. omega marre forte+, produced in norway at based on oil from the cod family. the beneficial properties of omega-3 have been confirmed by thousands of studies. it is omega-3 that has a positive effect on the prevention of heart disease and heart attacks, helps strengthen vision and improve brain function. omegaforte+ also contains vitamin d. this combination has a positive effect on the functioning of the brain and heart, and helps strengthen the health of joints, bones, and teeth. show yourself and your loved ones some care. buy the omegaamare forte large family jar now.

as many as 720 capsules will be yours, not for 120 and not for 100 or even 90 euros. call now and get your omega forte course straight from norway for only 59.95. karenen, reveal the secrets. do you have a country house? what kind of house is there? so, a small house, what? well, i just wanted to ask you, did you build it yourself or did you invite workers, designers, builders? lina, i think this: every self-respecting man, yeah, should build his own house with his own hands. well done! now, then look at... what happened, and then invite workers, designers and builders, that’s right, current, you should always trust the work

to professionals, you know, my... friends, what happened? a transformer burned out next to their house, and the wife says to her husband: well, let’s call an electrician? he says: no, it’s not necessary, i’ll fix it myself, and can you imagine, he was almost electrocuted, no, by the handle of a shovel, his wife didn’t want to let him near the transformer, she was afraid, so she drove the shovel away until the electrician came, you understand, how good it is that only... professionals and no one always take part in our program you need to drive it away from the shovel with a handle, meet stas kostyushkin on stage, your damaged eyelashes, i will dream for a long, long time how good it is that i didn’t get lost then, how good it is that i married you. when

my dear fell in love with you, i was happier than ever, soared so high in the sky of the barn, i thought it was forever, but suddenly one day everything seemed to be washed away, as if out of sight, the fact that you were in trend was only a dream, and the only fault is in the eyes, yours eyelash extensions. i will dream for a long, long time how good it is that i didn’t merge then, it’s so good that i married you, i wo n’t dream about your eyelashes for a long, long time, how good it is that i didn’t merge then, how good it is that i married you, i hug you in a sea of ​​passion, my love curls. yes, you are

my little princess, i will never let you go, i am devoted to her, although i am not married, love has come, because he is afraid of, no, ugly, women in the world, he just puts on his makeup, your eyelash extensions, i will dream about them for a long, long time, how good. that when i didn’t merge, how good it is that i married you, your eyelash extensions will be with me for a long, long time dreaming how good it was that i didn’t give up then, how good it was that i married you.

haren, dear, tell me, have you often communicated with builders in your life, that’s how you think they can be trusted, you know, lena, when i was building a dacha, the foreman told me so, don’t worry, karen, i have an experienced team, we won’t let you down, great, well, well, we didn’t let you down, we didn’t let you down, we didn’t let you down with gas, we didn’t

let you down with water supply. you know, karen, now she invites them every week, well done, the main thing is to never wipe the dust in a three-room apartment, to be despondent, this is exactly what our next artist always does, meet sergei drobotenko on stage.

i met this friend on the plane, we flew together from surgut, as it turned out, he is an oil worker, his language is so interesting, and his story matches, he said something like this: well, well, i don’t know what to tell you, well, his profession is i’m not a big deal, prestigious, not a big deal, so when... they ask what you do, i say: i’m a landscape designer, but in general i work on a bulldozer, i used to drive a tractor, yeah, only after one incident in the taiga they took me off the tractor, well, what

can i tell you, well, it was winter, a team of men-loggers finished cutting down the forest at the edge of the forest, tomorrow we had to move to a new one, about five kilometers from here, somewhere like that, yeah. the men in the trailer, while there was time, took up their professional duties, they remembered every pine tree, but i think that if we wait until tomorrow, we can now pick up the trailer with a tractor and move it, so to speak, without distracting the team, i didn’t say anything to the men, i thought there would be a surprise, only the door, the trailer was locked from the outside, well, not enough, who goes out to smoke, and there the taiga floats by, it’s just not pumped in for long, the engine started, everything rushes off, i look, the men

are waving their hands from the window, yelling something, well , apparently, they’re happy, it’s visible, but i can’t hear, the engine is in my ears are roaring, we arrived at a new edge, about five kilometers from here, somewhere like that, yeah, i turned off the engine, i approached the trailer and it froze, there was no bottom, apparently it was frozen in the cold, but as soon as i pulled the tractor, this is what happens , the men were running inside the trailer all this time, i’m still standing and thinking: there are no signs of fun, yet an inner voice, it’s not like it’s talking, it’s yelling, there’s no need to open the door, you never know, maybe

people are sleeping, when i look out the window, the foreman’s head appears, he’s looking at me point-blank and doesn’t blink, he’s all gray. he sat down bald, i said, nikolai kuzmich, well, welcome, he said something so official to me by name and surname, thank you, he says, schumacher fucks, nikolai kuzbeevich, so you are not sleeping, as you can see, he says, i’m watching, thank you, we got some sleep,

then they broke through, when they started yelling during the interruption, do you hear, you bastard, we when you they waved their hands at the hike, it didn’t alert you, i’m saying, it’s you who decided, maybe you wish me a happy journey, yeah, when we drove halfway, or rather you drove through the filth, and we plowed every five lands, we waved to you again, here to you what i imagined, i decided, maybe you... want to hurry up, okay, guys, what are you talking about me, better tell me how you ran there? the foreman says: you are the dance of the little swans, remember? the same goes for lombada. nothing, it was

only difficult the first 3 km. then we got used to it, korobchenko and mikhailov even played cards while running. will you open the door? no, i say. but, sorry, i didn’t want to say the meaning right away, there’s a story here, guys, i mixed up the edge. no question, we’ll be back now, and there’s another two kilometers, no more, it will be easier for you, let’s go in the well-trodden way, korobchenko mikhailov, hang out, now everything will be, now everything will be, but don’t worry, my dears, you are all so different, i so want

this difference to be the strength of our family, and not a reason for litter. wow, you actually have two cups, are you being rude, i won’t allow you to deceive my daughter, everything is not at all what you think, i was set up irina razanova, put pressure on the competitors... we need to find who exactly, in case they don’t limit themselves to blackmail. anastasia vedenskaya, you all knew everything about this, i don’t want to see you all. anatoly lobotsky, one very important person for me has disappeared, life teaches you nothing, they were silent about vasya, and now you continue to lie about your mother, adult daughters, the premiere, today on rtr. not enough pressure in your garden hose?

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high-pressure jet. a bucket of water is all you need and you're ready to go, or simply connect it to a garden hose and the hydroblast will instantly increase water pressure up to ten times. no matter what kind of water you use, the nanofilter purifies and filters it. hammer smith hydrablast is high performance pressure cleaning without compromise. and just call today. order the revolutionary hammer smith hydrablast with its highly efficient 150w motor, powerful lithium battery, five meter high pressure hose and high quality nano filter, all for an incredible 59.95, and if you order now, you will receive a free bottle for shampoo and a special spray nozzle for a larger coverage area, all this is absolutely free, but hurry, the offer is strictly

limited. cleaning floors is a tedious and messy process that turns into torture for you, your back and your arms. forget about exhausting cleaning on all fours, stop using a broom and dustpan, use a bulky vacuum cleaner that is not capable of cleaning the most inaccessible places. all this is in the past. now you can remove dirt, dust, crumbs, hair, and wet food debris. and even broken glass quickly and easily with the all-new livington electric broom depeper swipper. the dipper swipper impresses with its original triangular design and innovative tribrush technology. tri-separate high-speed rotating brushes on each side sweep everything inward, no matter which direction you point the cleaning head, even the smallest debris will be swept into the container. what's more... the durable corner brush located on the front gets into every corner, even

where vacuum cleaners can't, when cleaning is done, it can also be easily cleaned with just one click of a button, it's perfect suitable for hard surfaces, all types of floors, be it tiles or laminate. the swivel head easily avoids any obstacle, and thanks to its ultra-flat design, you can easily get under furniture where it is usually very difficult to reach. and only today, the unique, ingenious livington dipper swiper cordless electric broom with smart built-in corner bumpers that protect your furniture, baseboards and walls. and scratches can be yours for only 89,995, but if you call and place an order right now, you will receive an incredible discount of 20 euros, and you can get the livington dipper swiper for an incredible 6995, but hurry up, the offer is strictly

limited. i declare the international rhythmic gymnastics festival open. thank you to everyone who is with us, thank you to everyone who believes in our future, i love you, international holiday, children's rhythmic gymnastics festival alina, on children's day at rtr. oh, you know, girls, what is our strength, well, except, of course, in what we want, we will definitely achieve it, listen, one woman came out in her youth the ability to achieve our own, so if we married an electrician for something, got divorced, then married a plumber, got divorced, then married a painter, got divorced, they ask her, listen, why are you divorcing everyone, well

, it just doesn’t work out for you personal life, she says, what does personal life have to do with it , i built a house for myself. imagine, now she’s married to a gardener, she wants to plant an apple orchard at the dacha and do some landscaping, if things go on like this, then in her old age, she won’t be able to do without a young pool cleaner, so no way, here’s the story, girls, the main thing in life is determination. and self-confidence, by the way, these are the qualities possessed by my wonderful colleague, yes, whom i now gladly invite to the stage, meet karen avanesyan on stage.

dear audience, all viewers are accustomed to seeing me in the role of caucasian characters, well , this is natural, with my face it is difficult to play a snub-nosed blond from a russian village, but vladimir abramovich played this skavkas very well, people still repeat the phrase, hat smidah, it's a shame honestly words, you know, well, the russian actor played. he played the english sherlock holmes so well that even the british recognized him as the best sherlock of all time. this is elementary, so

i want to show you that i can play not only caucasian characters. i travel around the country a lot. i go abroad, meet different people, find myself in very interesting situations, and of course i notice all this, and with respect to other peoples i want to show their funny sides, well, for example, we were once sitting in the same company of people we told jokes of different nationalities, there was one estonian among us, and i especially told him a joke about the tallinn metro, well, the driver of the train about... “the next station, so we arrived, everyone laughed, everyone except this estonian, he thought for 15 minutes , and then said: “i understood

why this is funny, because there is no metro in tallinn,” or here’s the story, one french friend of mine came to visit me one evening, we went to a restaurant, and i said, the darkness is such that you could even poke out your eyes, the frenchman thought and said, sorry, why poke out eyes, when nothing is visible anyway, one italian was a tourist in our country, on the street he saw watermelons being sold, he came up and asked, sir, the watermelons were good, he said who took them, not one of them returned yet, the italian silently put the watermelon ran to the hotel, one african, how... stayed with us, wrote in his diary, first entry, yesterday he drank with the russians, almost died, second entry, today

i got drunk with the russians, it would be better if i died yesterday, i have a friend, a doctor , he always jokes about a medical topic, i listen, he says one the patient, i say, so, good, good, good, and the doctor, doctor, what’s good? it’s good that you have all this, and not me, good, oh, these medical jokes along the corridor of the hospital a patient is being taken on a gurney, he says: orderly, orderly, where are you taking me? the doctor said, to the morgue, well, i haven’t died yet, and we haven’t gotten there yet, doctor, doctor, help, i have a hall.

don’t you know that animals are our little brothers, go ask for forgiveness, otherwise you will be fined. the old man comes up to kishak, strokes him,

says: “oh, and shakak john, sorry, dear, that i beat you with a stick." i didn’t know that your older brother works in the traffic police. now a little about the americans. a car is rushing along the highway, a ninety-five-year-old grandfather is driving, next to him. a ninety-three-year-old grandmother, a policeman stops them and says: so, what's your name, who are you, grandpa, says: my name is john smith, this is my wife, mary smith, grandma is deaf, she can't hear what he said, he asked what our names are, i answered, oh, the policeman says, and from where, where are you going, grandfather says, we we're coming from rhode island, massachusetts, grandma... what did he say? he asked: where are we going from where? i answered: oh, the policeman said: where are you from? grandfather

says i’m from chicago, and my wife is from canada. the policeman says: yes, i was in this canada, there i had the most disgusting sex of my life. grandma, what did he say? he said, darling, that he knows you very well. finally. a man says a toast, i lived with my wife for 30 years, a neighbor sitting next to him quietly suggests,

not with my wife, with my wife, here, with yours wife, 20 years old, the most favorite jokes in transcaucasia are about armenians and georgians, an armenian meets a georgian, well, the georgian comes up and says: brother, what’s your name, the armenian says:

in general, dear friends, it doesn’t matter who is what nationality, it is important that we respect each other and can make fun of each other in a kind way, then, as the great frunzik makartuchan said, you will be pleased, and i will be pleased, then we will all be pleased too, i think so. oh, karen, i don’t understand why they say that one repairs are worse than three fires, because a fire can be localized, but repairs cannot, it spreads throughout the entire apartment at the speed of light, karen, it seems to me that you are exaggerating, no, absolutely any man knows this, if you start any repairs, then

that’s it , you just wanted to lubricate the hinges. doors to the kitchen, bass, and you are already glassing the balcony, bass, you are already moving the tiles into the bathtub, and so on, until the square meters of your asshole run out, yes, karen, this is a terrible thing, scary, but it seems to me that i know one the thing that is much worse than repair is repairs from neighbors, here you are right, you know, as i sometimes jokingly call repairs, no, the hour of truth, why, because only by starting repairs... you can find out what your neighbors really think about you, and find out what the audience thinks about you, you can only go out on stage, then by the applause you will understand whether you are loved or adored, meet the stage of the simyuniki theater.

every night and my creams i see you, i feel you, that's time, far cross the distance

and spaces before, you have come to show you go home. there's nothing i feel and i know that my heart will go, we'll stay forever this way.

you are safe with my heart and my heart will do one remember!

you're definitely doing well, you just never usually stick around.

i’m alone, it’s just an accident, what an idiot, a vacation can be planned, but love, i don’t understand anything myself, i need to figure it all out, a melody for yours, from monday on rtr, they say. you need to prepare for a vacation, you need to be able to relax, you need to relax beautifully, but you need to relax, where there

is sun and sea, on the first coastline, where everything is included, except for your head, we know about vacation that's it, relax, anex, vodka in ve immerse yourself in sophistication and luxury, forgetting about time on the shores of the mediterranean sea, discover true perfection, making dreams come true, a hotel where life is. rom kastro is a product of stellar group.

titanic luxury collection mancacher whiskey is a product of the stellar group. treat yourself to a first-class holiday with leo resorts. elegant details. a celebration of exquisite tastes. variety of entertainment. lio reоrds, we are here for you! titanic deluxe golf hotel

belek, where every moment is exclusivity! wrap yourself in comfort by our pools, relax in the life salon and enjoy delicious dishes from the best restaurants. everyone is here! room is a journey into coziness and comfort, your vacation is your rules, titanic deluxe, golf bellet, the best choice for an unforgettable vacation, are you ready for our musical investigation, ready, ready, four experienced experts guessed, guessed, i can say that nothing is clear to us. 100%, i absolutely do not dare to say exactly, they guessed, they guessed, in general, i’m confused, my ninth, tenth, sixteenth sense of my

intuition will turn on, this is what came out of it, from your smiles i see that you like how we deceive you, well, what can i do, i’m glad to be deceived, catch me if you can. great music show, have you eaten? why, you ate, ate, ate, on friday on rtr. lena, have you ever paid attention to what strange names hardware stores have: wallpaper planet, tile constellations, plumbing universe. yes, it's really strange, karen, you'd think they some kind of space product. well, there are no goods, but the prices are, yes, astronomical. you know what i like about all these stores, their assortment. i recently went to the wallpaper store for...

and i got there, i got there, i got there, i got there in full, you’re a very beautiful and smart girl and you did the right thing by calling me, this is a very good vcr, i ’ll give you five more video cassettes for it , five films about love, german, excuse me, fantastic, what a vcr, good, japanese, real singapore, brought from malaysia. very good, 250 rubles in total, no, you probably didn’t understand, i’m from the ad, well , that’s right, which one, well, what ’s written here, what language is it, russian, what russian, listen, read it yourself, i i don’t understand anything here, it’s written in small words. a reputable

renovation company offers all types of services for european-quality renovation of luxury luxury apartments, what is it written there, yes, this is your advertisement, of course, our company, yes, brother tofik gave, the company is so solid, good, we will do everything, whatever you want, no thanks, these are grapes, these are sultanas without seeds, sambic.

okay, okay, just a minute, just a minute, tofik, brother, fill up our truck, one wants women at the airport, let’s look there, don’t confuse the airport, they’ve built several of them in moscow, as the handsome one wanted, i say, you’re decorating the offices , offices, yes, of course, of course, we’ll paint the walls, we’ll paint the ceilings, we’ll whitewash them, we’ll do everything.

i’m removing the curse that men don’t pay attention, ah-ah-ah, it’s not beautiful, so come to us after 12 at night. we'll do everything, inexpensively, wait, just a minute, one just a minute, tofik, brother, like your aunt at the airport. come back right away, from one woman, you need to remove something, so you wanted a beautiful one, i say, my boss, i would like to decorate the office in a high-tech style, high-tech, yes,

you work in this style, in what, high-tech, and of course, of course, now all smart people are doing, only this high-tech, this... we’ll paint the walls, we’ll divide the ceilings, we’ll write high-tech everywhere, don’t worry, we’ll do everything, just a minute, just a minute, he says, please, i’m listening to you , no, no, you weren’t mistaken, eurocat veterinary clinic, what? the cat is obese, well, bring it, we’ll examine it, a special diet, we’ll return it in a month, you won’t find out, it’ll be as good as new, we’re waiting, alone, alone, tofik, brother, we had a cat in our bathroom for a month, fat as a pig, don’t offend him, and don’t feed me, so what did you want,

my handsome one, and i was talking about high-tech, and hey, well, yes, in my boss’s office, they said to discuss everything, ah-ah-ah, how bad, we are a reputable, very good company, prepayment is required , well, i didn’t know, she didn’t know, we don’t work without advance payments, what if you’re some kind of swindler, no, now swindlers, he’s on every corner, the whole moscow

of swindlers, how many do you have with you, do you have something, no, i don’t have any money at all, just a little, maybe that’s not it? take her wherever she says, yes, to the metro, yes, and don’t get too carried away with her there, otherwise you ’ll still need to remove the damage at night,

you know, but a very philosophical thought came into my head, i wonder what it is, only you’re at the dacha you can understand what infinity is, why only at the dacha, karen, well, because only at the dacha the lawn grows endlessly and something endlessly requires repair, some kind of vicious circle, i even sometimes think that there is black magic involved here, but what kind of black magic, karen, i beg you, what kind of magic can be in the countryside, on large construction sites there is magic all over the place, i don’t understand, i’ll explain, only the settings can lay the foundation for construction of a swimming pool, erecting walls for a shopping center, handing over the facility as a multi-level parking lot, although according to the documents

a kindergarten was supposed to be built. karen, isn't this magic? oh, lena, it seems to me that we have gone too deep into esotericism, it’s time to surface! and our next artist will help us with this, meet aglaya shillovskaya on stage. everyone to the bottom. tamby, you would drink wine there. under the ocean sober or drunk, it’s not visible, it doesn’t matter, hey, sailor, you’ve been floating for too long, i could... forget you, now i

’m a sea devil, i want to love him, everyone ’s taking pictures in places to stand, uh, on the ruby , chop, chop, keep it up, the devil of the sea, let's pour a barrel of chrome, he can't resist, hey, sailor, you've been sailing too long. i managed to forget you, now i have a seaman, i want to love him,

hey sailor, you’ve been in control for too long, i ’ve managed to forget you, now i have a seaman’s banram devil, i want to love him, well, well, hey, sailor! you ’ve been crying for too long, i’ve managed to forget you, i’m a sea worker, i want him, i want him, i want to love him!

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can i hug you? well, who is he? human? well, introduce the person. i love him, you know? yes, you're just stupid to me girl, but some kind of love? he will leave you at the first opportunity, as soon as he gets tired of you, well, i beg you, please, stop, don’t touch me! leave me alone, what are you doing, avochka, hug me, please, feel me, can i hug you, today on rtr,

you are watching 100 to one, what is our task, open all the scoreboards? we can handle it, if you ask, then with a hint: the name of which character from pushkin’s works everyone knows, what is 7.8, 7.8, 7.8, how much will it be, who is at work, speaks a lot and loudly, if answer, then with humor, i chop oak, don’t pinch, problems with... geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry - this is a set for a headache, god forbid now, if you win, then 100 to one, tomorrow on rtr, i’ll say i tell you a secret,

friends, what are the phrases, dear, let's do some repairs, we men are afraid more than anything else in the world, all because repairs are considered an exclusively male affair, and absolutely any repairs, if something is broken in the house, then you always have to fix it , i know this from myself, so i want to give you advice, my life hack, remember, if you can’t fix something with tape, then you need double-sided tape. if something can’t be painted even with the help of double-sided tape, it means you didn’t take enough tape, use it to your health, i don’t mind, that’s it, enough about repairs, let’s talk about the beautiful, friends, meet the beautiful elena stepanenko on stage!

so, well, 7:05, let's start, oh, it worked out in rhyme, it's a good sign, maybe today there will be no injuries, but who am i kidding, then, so, attention. i, as the eldest in the house, am starting a general meeting of residents, house 16, fraction three,

fraction se, fraction 5:12, on the second seventeenth street, so, comrades, please do not get excited, remember, hot water cools down with one turn of the valve, ask, why common? there was no meeting for 2 whole months, maybe only someone who was not at the last meeting, which ended in a fight, wall to wall, as a result the load-bearing wall of our house was damaged, i myself came out of traumatology only this morning, and the residents from apartments four to ninety-six still there, however however, today we have to solve several current ones...

the issue has been resolved, so, the first current issue: no, not a pipe in the basement that is leaking, why are you clinging to words, but well, here’s our first question, that’s on our agenda of the day, first question, cockroaches, cockroaches in the head of resident number 16, who believes that the garbage chute is a slide. water park, so comrades, who again doesn’t like that i call the residents by numbers, but it’s logical that the numbers don’t match, well

, if only not for you, i’m trying to break the irons, avoid the numbers, here, by the way, is the answer for the leaking pipe in the basement, while in our house there live residents of poryalopotapov and chopiks, we, comrades, cannot run away from such accidents, let's, let's evict them, everything will be dry, comrades, let's vote, who is for, who, we vote, that's it, that's all for fun, that's it, rip off and company, get out of here, goodbye, goodbye, that's it, then, on to the defaulters, some of them are very smart here, huh? they accuse that my apartment number one, combined with apartments number two, number three, well, it doesn’t matter, listen, they don’t pay the suppliers,

comrades, comrades, well, look, look checks, i regularly pay the suppliers of pizza and elite alcohol, well, well, i can’t, i can pay all the suppliers alone, that’s right, so if you please... all residents will have to rewind the electric meter back. the service, comrades, unfortunately, is paid. 5,000 rub. if you don't want

to use it, we'll skip ahead for free. well, why? well, why are you sticking your battery in my way? zhelez dydykhin? this is not the first time i’ve told you this, it’s the sixth time. well, don't bring your battery here. oh, what is this? brings it every time. radiator, i don't i know, he brings this battery to me every day so that i can touch it and make sure that they are cold, dydykin, i assure you, if you give them at least a couple of days... to hang on the pipes, they will get warmer, so comrades, now let’s move on to wandering animals, the last warning was given to the tenant glykin, so that he should not wander around the yard at night, and the tenant sorokadulin promised to take the red, shabby dog ​​that rushes at passers- by if someone takes her son-in-law. so,

calm down, kobzev’s glands, we’ll get to the bench, oh, i can’t, listen, okay this is what happens here, yes, in principle we have a bench in the yard, but they say that it is not enough, well, in order to sit on it, pensioners sign up for a queue two weeks in advance, and if the tenant is not allowed in at night by priyomakhov until... his wife , he goes to bed on this bench and knocks out the whole line for two days, well, what can i do, and what can i say on this issue, we can’t handle another little shop, well , we have a lot of money, well, hush, hush, comrades , yes, put away your shovel, kobzeva, new bench, we don’t promise, but go to the old one let's hammer in a few nails so that

it will be unpleasant for the receptionist... tovarich, how tired you are today, huh? but the issue regarding the elevator has already been resolved. here, comrades, there was a complaint, look, wow, a complaint, the elevator has not been running for 2 years, and the hooligans turned this elevator into a latrine, you say, what a shame, what a shame, 2 years. and you are all silent, but it’s good, i ’m here with you, i hasten to please you, tomorrow the elevator will be pulled out of the shaft and a dry closet will be installed instead. another success, comrade in the fight for the environment, the tenant, the baaban came running, already shaking all over, some people are digging out near the house, half of the grove, for a summer cafe, this is truly a disgrace, comrades, this is

the truth. it’s a disgrace, comrades, don’t worry, well, these are the fees from this cafe, yes, which they want to build, we took measures, yes, and now the whole grove will be cut down and a shopping center and parking will be built there, so now comrades, in apartment thirty-seven every night the music screamed, you heard, and you heard, right, right, and we all waited like salvation. when will a child be born in this family? and comrades, he was born, and now both the child and the music scream at night. here’s a strange question, comrades, why is garbage collected so rarely? comrades, let's face it. in april 2013 there was a garbage truck. then two

blocks from us, but in the seventeenth the tenant zhigin was leaving on a business trip, remember, and we gave him two bags with us, stuck them, yes, he took them away, yeah, in the twentieth someone else parked in our flowerbed, remember , and they poured waste into his car, he left like that, he didn’t leave it for us, he left, and you think that garbage is rarely taken out, right? oh, i don’t know, comrades, in my opinion, very often, don’t pour it out of a bucket on me, don’t, okay, there is one proposal from my friend, well , no matter, no matter, he offers to extend our garbage chute to the neighboring one for 5.00 yard, whoever refuses will be taken to... so

comrades, one more question: due to the fact that cars are driving on the road in front of our house, i propose to knock down the speeding policeman, the offer is excellent, i don’t argue, yes, asphalt is expensive, it’s true , well, calm down, don’t wave your towel dryer.

why are you not satisfied with public transport, the tram? ok, let's not shout, the proposal to install cameras, surveillance was, correctly, there was, but we carried it out, we carried it out, because by the majority of votes we installed cameras, we just did not point them in the yard, at the residents' windows. and oikina, where they go on at night, oh, what outrageous things happen, but it’s more interesting to watch than a car theft, yes, here’s another question, when will we install

an intercom, comrades, why ask the same questions 100 times, well, intercom , this it’s a lot of money, hush, what can you steal from us in the csf, huh? contributions, materials, well, here is your swan, comrade kozlov, which you made from an old tire of your car and painted it with white paint, i definitely didn’t take it from the flowerbed, that’s for sure, that means it flew away on its own, so, there is an alternative proposal, my comrade, but no matter , suggests installing a scam device instead of an intercom at a very low cost. the background differs only in that you can’t call the apartment from it, that’s all. well, here’s a new complaint: an expensive bar has opened on the first floor of our house, and every night there are loud noises from there. drunken screams. here i agree, comrades,

we take note of the complaint, and let’s shout more quietly. some people are also indignant, why are the walls in the entrances painted with lipstick, comrade? well, i don’t understand, what is it? the roof was powdered and the pipes were coated with nail polish. well, i don’t understand, comrades, what’s strange here, normal cosmetic repairs, that’s it, all complaints have stopped. zhelez kukukhin, well, explain to me, according to mendeleev’s law, in your apartment on the first floor ... you can smell gas from a gas pipeline and which passes along the street to the level of the second floor, like comrade kukukhin, you actually studied physics at school, and the gas rises up, which means that now i’ll smell it, but don’t

spray it on me, don’t spray it on me with a gas canister, get out better, break up the fight between the residents of the fifth and sixth apartments, go, oh, at least i understand them, after all, i had to settle. next door to two trumpeters, no, i don’t know, only the strongest will survive here, the strongest in our seventh apartment with a hammer, what do you want, tenant tyutechkin, no repairs to the balconies of our hoa is not being carried out, no, we didn’t start anything, that you met a man on your balcony who said, we don’t change the screens in the baths, but did you meet? into the bathroom of a man and he said: so, i think when these repairs are finished, your wife knows exactly, uh-huh, so, comrades, nika gulina, a resident, was worried that in

the next apartment a young family moans loudly every night, we have increased the heating fee , and now she’s drowning out the young family with her moans. the issue is resolved. well, comrades, thank god, we have considered everything questions, we’ll wrap it up, but finally, i ’ll read you an sms from our accountant, our accountant, the hoa. just a minute, so he writes, i’m in thailand, hassa is in a reliable bank, i’ve found a house for management, leave. so, comrades, everything is fine with us, we are afloat, so comrades. for reasons of sanitary safety and

maintaining social distance, i will hold meetings of residents from thailand via video link, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, wave your batteries, that’s it, comrades, see you in thailand.

corent, you know, i have a lot in my life i did renovations once and met with different builders many times, yes, according to my observations, it is the builders who develop faster than everyone else, where did you get this from? well , why, each next one is an order of magnitude smarter than the previous one, he always inspects the apartment like this and asks: what kind of idiot will do all this for you, you definitely... noticed that, and i, based on my experience in renovating an apartment and a dacha, made another observation , which? it turns out that depending on whether the tiles are laid or laid, the price ranges from 100 to a thousand rubles per square meter. yes ok an educated person and should get paid well, that’s right, in our program they say differently: a well-educated artist should joke well, this completely suits our next guest, meeting.

i took them to work in the morning, before going to bed, so that my husband would not forget the sausages, i wrote on a piece of paper with a thick felt-tip pen: fool, take the sausages, attached them to my husband’s hat and went to bed. in the morning, my husband goes to work on the subway, an old woman sits next to him, pushes him in the side and says: “well, you fool, i forgot the sausages.” another man bought it for his wife for her birthday a ring for 100. i put the ring in a dumpling, well, sort of. surprise: the wife ate dumplings, broke

two teeth, as a result they spent 100.00 on the wife’s teeth, plus 200.000 on the teeth that the wife knocked out on her husband. another man went on a business trip with his work colleagues. on the last day of the business trip, bathhouse, girls drinking. the man asked his colleague, who was filming the entire trip with a camera, to sort the photos without the girls in the bathhouse, so as not to infuriate his wife. soon the husband brings his wife an envelope with photographs, the wife glances at the photographs and shouts: “i’m done i know you were with the girls." the husband frantically looks through the pictures, but not a single photo shows even a hint of girls, well, where did you see the girls here, turn the envelope over. the husband turns the envelope over, there is handwriting on the back, here is a photo without women, as you can see, when a woman is nearby, she doesn’t give for a minute...

gently strokes the girl’s leg, on her face they stand closely pressed to each other, the guy has zero emotions, he asks the girl, are you pleased, she looks at him like look like a fool, there’s a voice from the side, it’s pleasant for me, even when the woman is not around, she still keeps the man in good shape, the man was drinking at the dacha with friends, in the evening he went into the kitchen to eat a sandwich, in the dark... instead of bread he put cheese and sausage on his mobile phone,

just as he was about to eat the call, the man resorted to to friends, shouting, guys, that’s it, i don’t drink anymore, my wife called me for a sandwich... another man on a business trip was sitting in a hotel. every half hour they called a girl of easy virtue and offered their services. the guy is tired of this. after another call i decided to make a joke. he picks up the phone and says: “so, i want two blondes with long legs, bust size 5, i’ll pay any money.” and order us a business class car, and we’ll go for a walk. my wife's voice is on the phone. hearse. will do, only a woman makes a man’s life bright and unpredictable, the woman says: i’m sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea with alyonka chocolate, there’s half a chocolate left, i shout to my husband: do you want alyonka? after a pause, the husband replies: “well, i want to.” i am, but

if you want, go quickly before i change my mind. the husband got dressed and ran out of the house. i sit and think: where did this fool run? chocolate is on kitchen? another woman says she asked her husband to wash the dishes, got into the car, drove away, and returned with a dishwasher. the next day she asked me to sweep the floors. he left and returned with a vacuum cleaner. then she asked me to help prepare borscht. he left and returned with a multicooker. today i asked to fulfill my marital duty. left. i wonder who he will return with? a woman is making cutlets in the kitchen, the cat stole a cutlet from the table and is eating greedily, the woman shouts at the cat: again, you bastard stole the cutlet, now i’ll hit the slippers in the face, the husband shouts from the room: yes, i only took one, are you sorry? well, finally, a story

that proves that if a woman has a sense of humor, then no man will get bored with such a woman. one married man had an affair with an italian woman, and one day she admitted that she was expecting a child from him. he didn't want to ruin his marriage, so they agreed that she would secretly give birth to a child in exchange for a large sum of money. he asked her, when the baby was born, to simply send a card with "spaghetti" written on it. they soon broke up and she left for italy. and so it passed 9 months. once a man came home, where he was... met by his surprised wife, dear, take a look, after reading the postcard, the man said, we received some strange postcard today, this is interesting, let him turn pale, he fainted, in the postcard was written: spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti,

spaghetti, spaghetti, three with meatballs, two without, send more. sauce, dear women, thank you for being you, only you make our life so interesting that we want to live, thank you, everything is definitely fine with you, you just never usually are you late, hera on rtr: will you leave me without a morning kiss? i have a husband, a job, stability, i’m unhappy, and you just blatantly write travel, happiness, good luck into your schedule. anna taratorkina, who are you, how did you get here? this is

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know that now during construction they use a special computer program, you know, yes, look, all the drawings of the house are loaded into the computer, and this program shows exactly how many materials are needed to build this house, so you can’t steal anything, wow, what is this program called, the program is called: it’s good that there are tears on our program there are only laughter, meet svetlana razhkova on stage, our director called me to his place. and he says, zyugina, you seem

to be occupying our service apartment with your family, i say, yes, but what ’s wrong, he says, yes, everything is so, everything is so, you seem to have fixed everything on housing and communal services, there for water, for heating, for capital you still pay for the repairs, right? i say, yes, why not pay, he says, i’ll give it to you, don’t pay.

together with a neighbor, it was loud, but today it’s just quiet in the morning, just completely quiet, like in a cemetery, today, nothing interesting today, only this morning it was only sold, the svikruha jumped out of the wave, hurried to her office, the toilet, i mean,

she ran like that, she was in such a hurry. that it fell from a wave, our parquet is made of waves, straight up the ninth wave, well, it flew straight from the crest, flew silently, and the parrot screamed when it fell on top of him, he screamed, take the bag, take care of the folder, director he says, well, the bird is basically right. you need to take care of her ass, but i, zyukina, i’m not here for you, you saw a program on tv where people are renovating their apartments for free, i say, oh, i saw it, i saw it, at first i cried, and then out of envy i almost gave birth,

he says, well, i’m ready, i’m ready for the dowry for... the baby, because we decided that in your apartment , at your expense, we will do such repairs in 2 days, i say, why is this such a blessing, he says, why are you dissatisfied, and i have a daughter, she is studying to be an apartment designer, she needs to train somewhere, so zyukina, i ’m warning you if you’re unhappy... and if you don’t agree, if i don’t have the keys right now if you give it, then it’s already an order for your dismissal, i basically signed it, so i gave him the keys , well, they promised to repair it in 2 days, well , of course they didn’t meet 2 days, we have an apartment, wow, 14 m2 . there’s so much that needs

to be repaired, well, that’s why we spent the winter staying at my sister’s in my closet, then another summer, at friends’ houses, at neighbors’ houses, at dachas, in a chicken coop, in a barn, and then, that means, this designer daughter got sick, at first it was like covid, covid, and then wow, she gave birth to twins. well, in general, during all this time , only the parrot from the family spoke to me, because he was generally silent, and he had no time, and how could he talk when his mouth was always full of vodka, his mother-in-law was also silent, yeah, she was silent, but she was silent, looked, looked, just

like that, well, i i'll take a look a couple of times too. in front of her are her father-in-laws with swear words, behind her is tolik with a parrot on his shoulder, then it means i’m with my things, they came and called.

i don’t want fish in aquariums, i don’t want to catch them, the toilet is green marble, i don’t want to sit, a black man was snoring in the corner, the mother-in-law, when she saw all this grace, grabbed the door, she said, i’ll wait here, i’m pining.

“i’m eating black cru with red fallow leaves in washington, the designer says, do you like it, i say, yes, god, god, this is happiness, this is some kind of chermetage, this is the hermitage, then the mother-in-law will never leave the toilet again, the designer says, and let’s go, i ’ll show you the bedroom, we walk along the corridor, and my little one is behind it...” he admires, admires, admired so much that he even got hoarse, and the parrot took over the baton, when they entered the bedroom, the parrot saw a cage with

like a canary, he starts screaming, put out the lights, we’ll sort it out again, the light will be on in an hour, of course they put it out because they were already screaming at two boats with the canary. and we’re on a table in the bedroom or on the bed, oh, we’re lying like in a museum, suddenly tolik asks me, zyukina, i say, and he says: don’t you remember the last time you and i thought about a child, i say: well so, recently, i still remember, our swedes were beaten that year, he

says hockey, i say, no, on the chudsky moz, he says, well, why don’t we shake off the old days, i say, lord, well, in general , as our director said, now i’ll definitely give birth, but not out of envy, and from my dear, beloved tolik.

you know, i have one friend, so he and his wife do renovations every year, and karen, every year, it seems to me that this is very often, i’m talking about this, yes, i ask him, how do you have the strength to do renovations every year, and he tells me, the main thing in repairs... is to share responsibilities, i say, how is that? he says: here we are, when we are doing renovations, i decide the key issues, and she decides, well, on little things, for example, the wife decides how to glue wallpaper, where to buy plaster, how to raise tiles to the seventh floor? i say wait a minute you? he says: and i solve global problems, the influence of the guy effect on the oceans, is there life on mars, or, for example, what appeared first, or a chicken, and i also have a family friend, but it’s the other way around, my husband is already renovating his dacha he's been doing it for five years, then one day his wife calls him...

dear friends, i have real real silver bells in my hands, they are, uh, 200 years old - that's for sure, no one believes that this is not a plant, so... well , that means, in fact

, i have a surprise for you, my friend, otto schneider, has arrived, which means we’ll rehearse now, when he comes out, otto schneider, we 'll laugh at him. i want to warn you that the conductor is the one who shows the musician. when it is time to enter, the musician sees that the conductor is showing it to him, after which he plays.

what are four quarters? 1 2 3 4 is tr without stopping. let's try. now the real scene will come out. a large star from an unknown constellation, meine damen und herren, druck otter schneider.

father, the orchestra stands up and turns to the auditorium.

information service of russian tv channel continues his work on the air, you are watching the news, my name is maria sittal, hello, always one step ahead, then... victory will be guaranteed. vladimir putin holds a meeting in korolev, moscow region. our troops took full control of the fifth village within a week. arkhangelskoye is liberated. and the harvest is stormed by the marines of the pacific fleet.