species of plants, 252 species of birds and 69 species of usatenko, andrei grishkov, sergei larionov, mammals, a large number of which are listed in the red book of russia. alexander elena goleeva, news: republic of khakassia. and by this time we have everything, denis polanchukov was with you, see you.

rtr-planet is more than just television. this is a piece of russia on every screen on the planet, the loudest premieres have flown, how did i get here, and you’re having a corporate party, or what? what are you, and you don’t know bender well, you don’t need a motive for murder on a trick, what is this?

on the band, i don’t know, the dog, in my opinion, exciting series, we’re putting together an orchestra, we’ll perform shestakovich’s seventh symphony, whoever doesn’t take risks, luck doesn’t smile on him, we’ll succeed, i’ll be the one doing the surgery, i’m scared, as if i’m not unfortunately, i can’t see either the motive for the murder or the connection between the murders, but there is one, and we will find it, i remind you once again that this is my investigation, let’s agree in advance, you are the coach, i... a dizzying show and the best music, and you generally spend most of your life on your feet or on your head, even i don’t i know pesha wants to read, please read, pesha can’t read, turn on the music blogger, russia is based on song, in general russia is a very melodious country, inimitable humor and entertainment for every taste, a basin of hot water. what is more difficult to become a good

person or to remain? the question is certainly interesting, both difficult and different. you are the most understanding program about animals among friends. when difficult trials come into our lives, it is very important to unite and not betray anyone, no matter what happens. the live story is mysterious.

vladimir is sitting in a chair. hello, key events, what will this day be remembered for, when the whole world calls black white, we choose the truth, in this hello, hello, hello, humor, humor, humor today will again try to capture your attention, exclusively for humanitarian purposes, to bring you a good

mood . here, in the huge number of your letters, i discovered an interesting question: why am i hosting the show alone and not inviting any of the artists. with whom i could start interesting conversations about humor, behind the scenes, and so on. in in the end, you could even play some kind of skit with this artist while hosting. i answer: firstly, it would be a completely different program, very similar to those that were. at one time, smyakha-panorama, with its many tasks, dealt with this form too. your humble servant used it practically on television. all forms of programs that are possible in humor on television. my variety performances are one thing. the crooked mirror theater is different. laughing panorama - third, joke after joke - fourth, concert films - fifth. benefit performances and an anniversary in artistic form, the sixth and many more that are difficult

to list. let pop experts write dissertations on this topic. humor, humor. also my original show. with their own artistic characteristics of various amusements, then, i give the opportunity to all the artists who produce interesting numbers, demonstrate them on the screen, and invite them here to the studio, well, i don’t know, you know, as they say, there should only be one expert in jokes in the company, otherwise the second bores with amendments. the first topic is advertising. someone called advertising from... a delicious mixture of compliments and threats, or in another way: advertising is an art, it aims at the head to get into the pocket, after all, we note that running a business without advertising is like winking at girls in full darkness, one

astronomer reasoned: not believing in a product, i believe the advertisement that is trying to make me believe in it. i’m buying anyway, i don’t believe that i’m such a fool, that we ’re filming an advertisement there today, and a commercial, well, yes, as a director i’m responsible for the result, you’re my assistant, you’ll help to me, yes, our sponsor is serious, he paid us huge money, yes, which we spent on drink yesterday. “quiet, no one should know that it was my birthday yesterday, and no one knows except youtube, there’s no need to show the video, so the sponsor is counting on us, so we shouldn’t get in the eye, then

there is a face in the dirt, oh, you hit yesterday, show the video, no need, so, remind me that you are there at all"? juices, fruit garden, in the frame there is a mother, two children, the children ask for a drink, a drink, a drink, a drink of juice, the mother says: i have juice, a fruit garden, then children run out in the form of fruits and say the text, everything is very simple, well, it’s clear, the studio is ready, yeah, the director has been ready for a long time! where is the actress for the role of mother? she's already here, already here, mom!

well, you said it yourself, we need a beautiful woman to play the role of mother, right, but who did you bring, have you seen the others yet? well, i’ll go and get the others,

well, you’ll be the mother, how do you know, i didn’t tell anyone. well, it’s clear, the scripts are written, the scripts are, forgive me, the night shooting is tired, but well, have a seat, where were they filming? on leningradka, the series leningradko, it’s called,

okay, so, you have two children, how do you know, the script says, oh, it’s just me ...

a girl, why is she 2 m tall? accelerator, why is she bald? she's seen a lot, she lives near chemical plants, the environment is bad. why does she have stubble on her face? i don’t

know, maybe her hair grows, well , in and out of her face, so to speak, where did you find it? sorry, you spent the entire shoot yesterday on your birthday. a normal girl, here i am, i say, it’s normal, well, i’ll go, go get the boy, go, girl, go to your mother,

girl, where did you go, well, you yourself sent me to my mother, here’s your mother. it can’t be, girl, what’s the name of your folder? edik, oh eddik, sochi, 1975,

what have i done? yes, this is your daughter according to the script, that you could have powdered me, that we’re not starting, i’m expecting a child. i stepped into medicine, who is the mother, mother, you, it can’t be, yes, which is unclear, but i’m expecting a child, an actor, why are you confusing me, by the way, where is the boy,

here, boy, has been here for a long time... boy. who is this? how's that boy? you yourself wrote: bring a 78-year-old boy,

bring a 7-dash 8-year-old boy. oh, i'm sorry, i didn't notice, didn't you read the script or something, it's quiet, he seems to have fallen asleep, what do you think he's a boy, what do you think he's a girl, where's the girl, i'm a girl , mother. “no, this definitely cannot be, where did you find him, this seventy-eight-year-old boy, and where? at the station? you yourself

asked, quickly and inexpensively, and he agrees to work for free for food.” what is there, no were there other boys? sorry, what was enough? yesterday you spent the entire filming budget, but on your birthday, i have everything written down, stuffed lobster with black cut, what should i continue? yes, okay, oh, a normal seventy-eight-year-old boy, so i say, listen, i saw you somewhere. you didn’t come to see us at the station, and i don’t work at stations anymore, so let’s get started, come on! in front of you is a typical happy family that will depict

fruits, uh-huh, hand out the costumes, uh-huh, everything is very simple: first the girl comes out and says: i plum-lilac, ripe, garden, everything is very simple, then mom comes out and says, and i’m a ripe cherry. the sun is out, everything is very simple, hold on, well, finally

a seventy-eight-year-old boy appears and says: i’m an apricot, i grew up in the south, everything is clear. it’s clear, it’s clear, we’ll do it, well, get ready, let’s run, i’m plum-colored, ripe, garden-like. like sawing the cherry, the sun came out, and i was doomed,

i took over the ulcer, what kind of ulcer, siberian, like this. what does your ulcer have to do with it, it’s painful, well, let’s do it again and let it be not apricot, strawberry, so you’ll have strawberry, so, are you ready? let's run,

i'm a plum, ripe, garden, i'm a ripe cherry, the sun came out, and i'm a strawberry, i don't see onions in the morning. stop this gag, what the hell, exactly in my time, you know how expensive it is, how much 50 bucks an hour, i remember where i saw you, i was young, i needed money, yeah, so we continue to work, let's not get distracted, let's do it again. got ready, started, i'm plum-lilac, ripe, garden, i'm a sweet

cherry, the sun came out, and i'm a little rotten, where did you even get this idiot, look at yourself, miss universe, so stop with yourself, but we don’t have rotten potatoes in the script, really, let’s do it again, and let it fly off your teeth, otherwise my fist will fly off your teeth, it’s clear what it is, so, get ready, let's run, i'm a plum-lilac, ripe, garden cherry, and i'm a sweet cherry, i came out onto the panel, oh, what other

panel, what are you talking about? i definitely remembered you, sweetie, i see, i was young, i needed money, so let’s do it again, get ready, let’s run, i’m a lilac plum, ripe, garden, i’m i finished my sleep, and i’m tired. i don’t even know what continent the fruit is, where you dug them up, sorry, what was enough, yesterday you blew the entire filming budget for your birthday,

so i have everything written down. smooth black cut, girls from escort services, cognac and what, okay, okay, normal actors, that's what i 'm saying, normal, frisky, let's start again, i'm plum-colored, ripe garden, and i'm daddy, why the hell did i come here? and i use quince for firewood every day, and i am a persimmon, i work for nothing, and i hate guessing, and i hate guessing, and i am a tomato, inhale the aroma that you are carrying, the director feels bad,

see what you will bring? man, you have been given a great honor, but you cannot utter basic words, well, semyon yegorovich, semyon yegorovich, i am a lilac plum, ripe, garden, and... and i am a pouring apple, so ruddy, and i am sweet sugar, prepare me for future use, and i'm yeast, i hate your faces, and i'm a young cranberry,

we're all together... barbathu, and i'm the customer of this advertisement, i've never seen a greater shame in my life, plum, strawberry, cherry, papaya, yes i'm you i'll roll up canned food for everyone if today, now right here, don’t shoot the video for me,

behind seven seals in the previous episodes, well, let this be my last wish. anna safonova, knowing about her diagnosis, makes an important statement, all her property, i ’m transferring it to you, yes, this is responsible, but you can do everything, i really believe in you, why do you need this? the unexpectedly appeared heiress immediately declare war, now we must stick together and not let this...

eliminate safonov, for whom it’s elementary, for the one who took her place, in order for the charges against you to be dropped, you need to sign some papers with you no, i have an alibi, sealed, continuation, watch on monday on rtr, no, i don’t cry or sob, i openly answer all questions, how are you in the mood, what was your favorite song? as a child, asking questions and not getting one step closer to the answer, will we have any clues, maybe, maybe this moan is called a song, catch me if you can, a big music show, brilliant on friday

on rtr, love is when you look in one direction, look, look, if you want to look, look, let's see, look, well, look at the screen, look at me, takes it out, look, look, sign the agreement, we sign at the same time for 1 2 3, sign up, look, look, maybe we’ll go to my place, just watch a movie, your favorite songs are playing in our studio, let’s go , birthday, favorite music...

words of love are clear to everyone without translation, this is a layer of culture, this is the golden fund of the soviet and russian country, hello andrey, andrey malakhov's evening show on saturdays on rtr, in the fifties of the last century, starting from the age of twelve. .. age i performed at amateur performances in all genres that he could, that is, he tried himself, these were sketches from aperet, solo and pair entertainers, reading feuilletons, monologues, fables, poems, couplets

, etc., etc., this was participation in the puppet theater at the philharmonic and in the agidbrigade, in folk theater, where i played dramatic roles, so... then i formed my first notebook of funny moments from our life. i will read to you only one section from this book: funny letters and advertisements and so on. the audience then loudly laughed, catching the mistake. bust of pushkin with legs for sale. on saturday the club will host a lecture on how...

the vegetable base requires older women for pickling, and young women for sourdough. signature under the portrait of the pig farmer in a rural newspaper. if everyone looked up to her, there would be more pigs in the area, from the newspaper, the new chairman managed to touch the dairy farmers to the quick and their milk supply has increased sharply. a note on the beer stall,

i won’t sell beer today, the water has been turned off, the excavator is german. japanese excavator.

the chinese excavator broke down.

american excavatortor let's go! jewish excavator.

everything, well, finally, a soviet excavator,

how is women's logic different, it is more interesting, men's logic is utilitarian. so what, wearing earflaps, padded jackets and felt boots,

but it’s warm, feminine logic, just think, the brains of the lower floor are freezing, but it’s beautiful. men cannot understand women's logic, but women are smarter, they don't even try to understand men's. it's easy to understand women's logic, guys, to do this you need to learn how to play billiards cubes. they have no logic, the husband and wife solve the crossfort, the husband says, the first man. a four-letter word, my wife says kolya, how do you like this statement, i’ll take it and write it on my bed that you’re a fool, let the whole city

know. "who authorized her in general, a man is standing on the side of the road, well, there is a very steep , very wide highway, there are a lot of cars, he is voting, a very beautiful modern car drives up, a woman is driving, the man says, thank you very much for deciding to give me a lift, she says, let you others throw them up." "why did i stop, look, my eyebrows are the same, what's the logic here anyway, the husband says to his wife, i don't even know where we can relax this time in the maldives, seychelles, canary islands, the wife says,

don't take it to head, we’ll figure it out on the spot , where is she?” “figure it out in general, where, when, what, i don’t understand anything, nothing, the banker shouts to the whole house, to his wife: where is the money from japan for 3000 dollars? wife, stirring ashes into a stone, mom, have fun, these were not scribbles. sometimes it seems to me that my wife is the martian speaks to me. where have you been? did you run for bread? well, have you caught up? or was she asked what you feed your husband? yes, what

we eat ourselves, we give to him. one of them asks me: listen, you’re so smart, doesn’t it bother your skull? where is this logic? the traffic cop says to the woman, the driver: breathe, wait, i’ll paint my lips! a woman comes to the doctor, doctor! help me lose weight, i beg you, well, i advised you to take up a raw food diet, i can’t, doctor, i’ve already gorged myself on this cheese, something doesn’t add up for me, women, take these take the pills three times a day and you will forget

about all your illnesses, the only thing i was missing was sclerosis. i’m asking my wife, what do you think, katya, is it possible to get bird flu from kissing, you’re just a fool, kissing birds, tell me, are n’t you the same girl who danced on the table in the restaurant yesterday... . in shorts, yes you, the guy must have left too early, where there should be logic, they have something else, one person, imagine, in egypt meets a neighbor in the stairwell, and

says: “olya, when you pay off the debt, you promised last tuesday, she...” to him, well, you schmuck, he came to egypt for 100 bucks, here i thought, why do women need logic if they are so beautiful and desirable ? thank you, thank you, last night i received

terrible news. at the age of sixty-five , the son of fashion designer vyacheslav zaitsev, egor, died after a long illness. where yegor zaitsev will be buried, where he buried his father by the road next to the toilet, or even after the death of the grave of fashion designers. egor and vyacheslav zaitsev will be in different cemeteries. the fatal legacy of vyacheslav zaitsev. malakhov. tomorrow on rtr. can i call you maestro? can? maestro? yes. can. so he fooled you. and you’re glad that he needs some fool to be attracted to him. this is a fool. i would like to book a room at your hotel, what are you

doing here, this is my room, i paid for it, i paid, hold, hold, hold, hold, settle us immediately, one room, one city, st. petersburg, small city, have dinner nowhere. for love, vasily, this is vasily, please call me back, i’m looking for a travel companion, in friday on rtr, we gathered about ten people into the first group, there were short calls, we are going to donetsk, you are with us, yes, when my fighters came running, they carried me away, another shelling began, they put me down

, without action your help you would not have survived, only ours can, honor and praise to you, what you do is simply amazing, from monday to thursday on rtr, provocation is treacherous behavior, there is a difference between a man and a woman, i noticed. then it turns out that my husband and my cat are the most intelligent creatures in our family. orientalism,

this is conditionally some kind of parallel agenda. why not a reef? continuation of the conversation in new episodes of our podcasts. and so as not to miss anything, subscribe, listen and watch on the media platform let's watch. substation. the first podcasts we watch. in the petrosyan show we have artists who can perfectly perform not only comic skits, but also sing wonderfully and do a great parody. and i must say that in every episode of the program they know how to surprise with some of their new creative facets. there is no bad weather for insurance, every

the weather is grace, rain snow at any time of the year, you can be well insured, sunsets and sunrises are near, and even love is the last grace. something that doesn’t exist in nature, you can still insure, and wait for years for this money, you need to talk about insurance, once i was walking with my mother without insurance, any girl is beautiful. i surprised passers-by with my cupamiku, everyone gave me flowers for these lips, i

splashed them in a wonderful restaurant. silicone, i insure my lips, they are loaded with expensive tires in a convertible, to repair them it will come in handy. in gabrialetta the tires will go bad, he will be useful for repairing them, that’s how it sometimes happens in sochi, our meeting was watching over us, i remember there was the

kinnotavr festival. and i met him there for the first time, and at the hotel he hit a waiter in the face, wanted to separate them, he sent me obscenities, and i decided to insure myself, guys, from alexei panin, but we’re not with a horse, we’re going across the field to the insurance office. we won’t get there, i’m insuring you with a huge complaint about your methods that are absolutely unprecedented, one evening, as if on an alarm clock, i went to the refrigerator alone and opened

i opened the door, but it’s just nonsense on... there’s an agent sitting inside on the front shelf, if only i knew what would have come of it, i wouldn’t have been insured against excess weight, the agent is sitting, the agent is not sleeping, i want to eat cake, he shouts, no , and so on all night, and in the morning he drove me to the stadium. you don’t even call, he’s here, don’t curse him, he’s there, you’ll run away, screaming, i’ll catch up, whether you like it or not, he’s your insurance

agent, you don’t call him, but he’s you. keeps, flew through the windows curtained by the rain, so that you don’t get wet, he will be your raincoat, flew through arrows, under shelling and under fire, so that you do not burn, he will be your rain. i was watching football , i was watching our national team match again, i was swearing, i was crying , the tv crashed on the floor, so i’m calling the insurance company directly, you insure me right now against our defeats, the woman

doesn’t insure me of anything like that, it’s like i’m just admitting it. my bankruptcy, woman, well, i ask, no, i don’t insure in football, we definitely insure only in synchronized swimming, but we skim, walk, we don’t understand, why should we insure ourselves with a horse. the women, oh, in the black yar, guarded everything, so that nadya doesn’t smooth you out, someone, insure yourself, nadya, you need to protect yourself from everything now, just nadya women, oh, don’t scare him, cossack, natya, the fence is not afraid of fire later. she’s not

scared in any way, it’s not she who’s going to rush for insurance, but the person waiting in the dark, maniac. cossack nadya is not afraid of the devil, cossack nadya is in full swing, when meeting her, insurance will come in handy, because meeting with nadya is an insurance case, i’m always on the calendar. i insure my life, but to those who are not insured, i tell them straight to their faces, oh yeah, oh yeah, suddenly

you break your arm, you’ll get free from it’s too much to scream, but oh, just insure yourself, insure yourself, gosu! let me live , assure me, hang out, insure myself, insure myself, all sorts of comedic incidents happen in life, which, as they say, people can’t imagine, a man met a girl on a dating site. exchanged photographs, and it turned out to be his ex- mother-in-law. i’ll tell you more, ugly women in reality are more beautiful than beautiful virtual ones. well, actually, what kind of

acquaintances are there: planned, pleasant, unpleasant, business, by advertisement, by advice, fleeting, resort, important for a specific purpose, first, detailed, deep, for the purpose of marriage, casual, through bureaucracy. and the most common acquaintance on the internet with all sorts of cases that are not included in the plans of the acquaintances, and the rarest occurrence these days is telephone acquaintance. hello, the subscriber is out of range, call back later, but do i need it now? well, answer stepanov, hello, the subscriber is out of the access zone, auntie, keep quiet, and

just try not to answer, the bespectacled asshole, the bespectacled asshole is out of the zone, what, what? what not i realized, oh, how stupid we are, the bespectacled asshole, who you are calling outside the access zone, who is talking, i’m mom, your mom is also in the non-access zone, how do you know who is where, what are you doing? head of the zone, i'm the answering machine, we've already got it,

excuse me, hello, stepanov, it's you again, me again, you still have a bunch of points left. no, well, why do i need a goat in the city, i would like stepanova? it is the same. and who says this? goat says. oh, wife, or what? no, i'm from a different herd. what about your livestock there? complete goats, with judges, what milk yield, your calls make the milk curdle,

as i understand you, but i would like stepanov, what a stepanov, such a goat with glasses, maybe grazing somewhere nearby, maybe running around. somewhere, maybe he got stuck, why would he get stuck to us? well, because he's an asshole? ok, let me see who is asking him? comrade, comrade kazla, no, i’m comrade stepanova, and what’s the difference, well, in principle, no, well, maybe you look, he’s wearing glasses, he didn’t run, listen, how you give me a headache, okay, okay, if you so no

if you can bear to talk to someone, i’ll connect you, who can i connect you with, you want to talk to bill gates, why, why should i chat with bill gates, well, of course, you’ll be more interested in the asshole stepanov, after all, comrades, so, come on, i quickly took it. ran into stepanov's arms, oh, how arrogant we are, go, go, hello, i've already come, haven't left yet, how slow we are, listen while i walk, maybe you'll listen to the music, i want to listen to stepanov's goat, like me and your destinies are similar, and you and i have only listened to goats all our lives. and life goes by, well

listen to mozart for a change, well, for the sake of a change, come on, where is your mozart, listen, these thousand tuskitu thousand, malikuski, pupuski, stupid, little, puski, tuski, kurushki, muski, men, and what was that? where? well, just what, mozart? yes, but i didn’t admit something, and you listen again, pararr, pararru, how did you get me... all the assholes stood up, i like it,

it’s awesome, but what about stepanov, yes, this asshole was given to you, i’m his then i’ll find it, it’s better to listen further, who, well , mozart and i, i would be forgotten... i would be there, i would be, you would be, i would be there, i would be, you would be, i would be there, with whom i was, where i would be where you were not, where i was, with whom i would be, where you, if only i were, oh, poor little yakochka, horned little yakochka, i haven’t seen a goat for a long time, a rich goat. what are you

silent? i think i could throw something at you, it’s already gone, thank god, listen, what do you have with him, love? with whom? with this, stepanov? why? i don’t know, i can’t live without him. so, have you found stepanov yet? she hasn’t left yet, she’s been making her look beautiful. stepanov is still shortsighted. but i'm not for him. and for whom? a so, well, i went. did you really go for it? no, my tights are torn. what tights? black, transparent, with a pattern from the hip. from whom? from the hip, where it is just below the ears,

have you forgotten where? well, to be honest, yes, with this work, oh, how similar our destinies are, yours, mine, then... but life passes, so have i moved on already? i went, so you need stepanova, well, look, it’s cold outside, don’t catch a cold, thank you, listen, and if there’s

a road there, what if they sell cold champagne? semi-sweet take a who are you asking, what about stepanov, god bless him with that goat stepanov, so i ask you to take cold semi-sweet champagne and if you take it. bark at the table, i’ll be there soon, 45 stroiteley street, apartment 10, i’m waiting, okay, okay, that’s it, stepanov, he called himself, it’s late, the

bespectacled asshole, it’s already late. the subscriber is out of the zone, i repeat, the subscriber is out of the access zone, but in the meantime, so that you don’t get bored, you bespectacled goat, listen to mozart, turudushki, turushka, turushka, ears-flies, top-pimples, three tattoos, brahms, three tattoos, three frogs, tyrym-tyrydym, troll-la-shmyak, troll-la, troll-la-shmyak, troll, i came, wow, well done, this is stepana. he's calling, what are you saying, give him mozart together, come on, these pokes, those pokes tygydyn, we are cakes, puffs, tutushki, cute, param-paramzdym, turushki, ding-pararu, turushka din-param, the time has come for you and me,

a couple came, a couple came, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, i open, you see, i open, you can’t do anything, don’t be rude, well, for stepanov, let’s go for stepanov, come for... thank you, thank you.