tv 60 minut RUSSIA1 July 13, 2024 11:30am-1:01pm MSK
11:30 am
not free, but mine, i give 3 months to reconcile the parties, that i decided now or never, a real woman will never become an ex, i will return him to heaven, and he will be this, well then i have nothing to lose, and oh, heaven. knows everything, you won’t leave me now because of this, or will you? continuation, watch on monday on rtr. i put an ad in the newspaper, i’m removing the damage, so they bastards put a comma, it worked, i’m removing it, i’m removing the damage. anatoly, do you want to take off your vest? i'm 40 years old. i didn’t take it off, it has already grown together with mine,
11:31 am
when you call the police, you have to show them the body, call the testimony, i can’t help you, but i forgive you the debt, god forbid , humor, humor, humor, premiere, today on rtr, this is news, we continue the release, washington must start negotiations with moscow under a peace agreement, the continuation of the ukrainian conflict threatens a dangerous escalation, this was stated in an open letter published in the british press by a number of well-known western politicians and diplomats. the authors have already been attacked by supporters of the war. report by alexander khabarov. while at the summit in washington, nato leaders outlined the prospects for further military support for zelensky; open letters signed by authoritative experts on both sides of the atlantic appeared in several influential british newspapers.
11:32 am
call for immediate negotiations on a peaceful settlement in ukraine. all experts familiar with the situation agree that if a serious escalation does not occur, the situation on the ground will most likely remain unchanged, but at the same time , a russian victory in this case cannot be considered unlikely, and this conclusion indicates the feasibility and even urgency of the need to conclude peace through negotiations, not least for the sake of ukraine itself. this letter was published in the london financial times.
11:33 am
to push people in governments that we know throughout the international system to understand how stupid the current state of affairs is. until now, the british press has not indulged its readers with calls for a peaceful settlement. the new government of the country, formed by those who came to power libarists, while continuing the line of his predecessors aimed at escalating the conflict. negotiations between moscow and kiev in the spring of 2022, as is known, were disrupted with the active participation of the former british prime minister. boris johnson. the authors of the letter believe that the united states should initiate a dialogue with moscow. washington must begin negotiations with moscow on a new agreement that would guarantee the security interests of both ukraine and russia. the longer the war continues, the more territory ukraine is likely to lose, and the more the risks of escalation to the nuclear level will become higher. mr. putin has recently demonstrated a willingness to negotiate.
11:34 am
there is a call to stop the policy of integrating ukraine into nato in order to eliminate the main reason provoking the conflict. ukraine faces a difficult choice with enormous consequences for its future. ukrainians must evaluate their strategic capabilities with a sober eye, and not through the rose-colored glasses of outsiders who do not have the support of their own states.
11:35 am
in the west there is a growing number of those who are trying to be a realist and considers it necessary to talk about it openly. alexander khabarov, ilya murdyukov, news: great britain. nato is provoking a war with russia to justify its existence. ukraine's course towards joining the bloc is a recipe for disaster. the american conservative writes about this today. according to its experts, nato’s main task now is no longer the defeat of russia, but the survival of the alliance itself. at the summit in washington, leaders were busy inventing more and more reasons to justify their importance, while, according to the publication, peace and stability will return to europe only if they admit that the cause of the crisis in ukraine was the plan to expand the military bloc. us president biden said that he would not
11:36 am
withdraw from the election race; at a meeting with voters in michigan, he said that his health was fine and joked that he was only 41 years old. but he admitted that he often makes mistakes and sometimes confuses names. despite the bravura speeches of the owner of the white house on cnn, who can hardly be suspected of sympathizing with the republicans, experts openly say: biden's resignation is only a matter of time; billionaire richard branson called on biden to give up the fight for a second presidential term. wealthy donors have already frozen $90 million in support for the democratic campaign. well, donald trump, in turn, announced his readiness. fight any opponent. in his opinion, it will be even easier to defeat vice president kamala haris than biden. russia is a valuable strategic ally of iran and tehran will expand and deepen relations with moscow.
11:37 am
this opinion was expressed by the new president of iran, masoud pezishkian. the opinion piece was published today in the tehran times newspaper. the new leader of the republic emphasized that his priority is two-sided. and multilateral cooperation with russia, especially in the brix, sco and eac formats. the iranian president also stated that he is ready to actively support initiatives aimed at achieving peace in ukraine. unique all-terrain vehicles are assembled in irkutsk; what started with a couple of vehicles for myself and friends has turned into a full-scale production. technique they also supply private clients to government agencies, including for fighting forest fires. these all-terrain vehicles have proven themselves well in the zone. report by pavel marchukov. this all-terrain vehicle is now an indispensable assistant for fighters from the baikal region, both on the line of combat contact and in the rear. the bunks have been loaded and are now being transported and will
11:38 am
be installed. generally a business machine. and this batch of all-terrain vehicles is being prepared for work in peaceful conditions, but no less harsh. the vehicles will be sent to forest firefighters of the trans-baikal territory. on it maybe. get as close as possible to when you start to extinguish the fire, if you use a simple fire truck, you can’t get there, it’s expensive from a helicopter, load the all-terrain vehicle, drive up, and put it out. the first such all-terrain vehicle was assembled several years ago by alexander chubakov for himself, since specialized companies were unable to fulfill the order of an avid hunter and fisherman. after the success of the prototype, orders came from friends. the first cars were assembled in a 6x12 m garage; now the production area is measured in thousands of square m2. opened a branch of belarus republic of belarus too the plant is larger than this one in size, it’s all property, it’s our production, the guys are working, but alexander did n’t come to such volumes right away, for example, he bought tires for the first all-terrain vehicles second-hand and modernized them, increased the tread, now
11:39 am
leading factories supply the wheels to the enterprise countries, each model is equipped with an automatic transmission, as well as reinforced components and assemblies. they decided to assemble all-terrain vehicles at the irkutsk enterprise 4 years ago and began. atvs, the equipment immediately recommended boasting increased cross-country ability, yet fairly easy handling, this suv is now being tested at the proving ground, it is driven into deep puddles and not spared on steep climbs and descents. the machine is distinguished by a special reinforced breaking point. this is the company's own development. its fracture angle is 32°, it is also equipped with a hydraulic frame fracture lock, that is, in order to move on water, the body relative to the cabin was in the same plane and did not interfere with movement specifically on water. the plant supplies its suvs to government institutions, for example, national parks or farms. also
11:40 am
, more than ten such vehicles have already been sent to the northern military district zone as charitable assistance. now the company plans to patent its developments. this will emphasize the uniqueness of the cars, which are not afraid of extreme road conditions. pavel marchakov, victor strotsky, conduct the irkutsk region. the deepest and one of the busiest stations of the st. petersburg metro opened today. after extensive reconstruction. this is the first major renovation of chernyshevskaya in almost 70 years. specialists updated engineering systems, replaced communication networks and automatic fire alarms. one of the main innovations is an additional escalator. before the station was closed, almost one and a half million passengers a month used it, but now the capacity will increase even more. report by ekaterina fisenko. finally. steel, thank you, the first passengers dance with a gait into the lobby, which has been closed to them for a year and a half,
11:41 am
the doors are heavy, they are more than half a century old, but they look new, solid, very st. petersburg. with in october 2022 , ground transport routes were strengthened, but the station was sorely lacking, this is the center of st. petersburg, dense buildings, there is really nowhere to accommodate the metro. it turned out that most of the city was where people not only live, but also work. i was left without a metro. chernyshevskaya was very long-awaited. station. russian technologies, we managed
11:42 am
to make four instead of three excalators, although it was a complex engineering task, and the most, well , one of the difficulties was that the single-clone stroke is 120 m, this is one of the longest escalators, say, on our city metro, for a year and a half the trains went past chernyshevskaya and passengers watched all the stages of repair, here is the station: the station is sparkling , launch, open the chernyshevskaya station. the first trains are half empty and people have not yet gotten used to the fact that chernyshevskaya can be used again. next in line for reconstruction are two more metro stations udelnaya and frundinskaya, they are already closed to passengers. ekatirina fisyanko, sergey ishchenko, dmitry lukashevich, galina orlova, vesti petersburg. what is not an opera is a fairy tale. an exhibition with this title opened today at the museum of the rimsky korsakov estate in the pskov region. it is dedicated to the 180th anniversary of the composer's birth. the exhibition includes original scenery, costumes for
11:43 am
the opera-musician's productions, photographs, and author's manuscripts. the national museum of music shared unique exhibits for a while. dina perevozchikova will tell you what else awaits visitors. in a museum dedicated to the work of the composer, there is no music without music, so the classics are played at the opening. nikolai rimsky korsakov brought his family to this estate. he came here for the summer and wrote his most famous operas: sadko, the tsar's bride, the tale of tsar saltan, and this beautiful wilderness, as the composer himself called it, occupies an honorable place on the museum map of the country. in the museum there is a spirit in this, this is very important, such communication that the owner went out for a while, and we will definitely wait for him today, we feel special pleasure today from the fact that, firstly, we came here, and secondly, that people will be able to see what we... we do n't manage to expose them that often. in a separate the hall now contains a clavier, the opera snow maiden, sketches
11:44 am
of scenery and costumes for productions of the golden cockerel, the tsar's bride, the tale of tsar saltan, photographs of artists and porcelain figurines, the exhibition opens new pages in the fairy-tale world of the composer, because the roman korsakov is a real storyteller only in classical music. a special place at the exhibition is occupied by chain mail, helmet, caftan and boots. this is a real costume of fyodor chaliapin, in which he... performed in the image of ivan the terrible in the opera pskovite stage in moscow. there is even a mustache and beard, which the artist glued on himself before going on stage. by the way, it was this role that made the singer famous. the exhibition, which is not an opera, is a fairy tale, gives a second life to the props that shone on the best stages of the country. this is a joint project of the russian national museum of music in moscow and the pskov museum of the reserve. transportation of exhibits is always a responsible job, special temperature conditions, humidity. since the birth of nikolai
11:45 am
rimsky korsakov to unite unique objects and the place thanks to which they appeared, it was worth the effort. in such a combination, in such an environment, it will not happen again, there are things that do not repeat, and there is nothing more offensive in life, that you might have missed something. don't miss it, the exhibition is only alive when it has visitors. connoisseurs, so the estate is eagerly awaiting guests so that as many people as possible can become participants in this miracle, this is what the museum staff themselves call the opening of the exhibition, and it will last until october 13. dina. at the international arts festival slavic bazaar in vitebsk days union state. the entertainment program consists of concerts, tastings and master classes on traditional crafts, and the business program includes meetings to discuss joint projects and round tables, in which artists, scientists, entrepreneurs and government officials participate. particular attention
11:46 am
to cultural exchange between russia and belarus. 11 areas of work for the first time the competence of the government of belarus and russia included cultural and humanitarian areas: education, culture, science, sports, tourism, this has never happened, this is the stage when we having understood this, we can and should, are obliged and want to do this. about the main events of the last seven days, watch the big news with evgeny popov, on sunday at 20:00. tu-22m3, yes, the strategic missile carrier tu-22m3, which they tried to hijack, yes, a crime, how much money, well, initially pavlo promised 1 million, crew of four people, i was offered to eject them forcibly, well, that is, actually kill the punishment, like our
11:47 am
11:48 am
11:49 am
center on the volga, but precisely because of this , he acquired something that cannot be bought for any money. landscapes. like a treasure , high-heeled shoes for the stretch were not suitable either for soviet ones, or even more so for levitan ones times when this staircase was not in the projection. philosophy of plyos, volga cultural anomaly. big news, don't miss it on sunday at 20:00. well, all the news is always available on the media platform. we look at the application on the website. ru news are following developments in russia abroad, stay tuned!
11:51 am
11:52 am
anything you can think of? such a cool guy. maybe this is your chance. one says he loves. nastya, you would like this, you really do. you me you love, the other loves, but doesn’t say, i’d like to take your portrait, don’t you mind, tell her about your feelings, who you are, forget nastya, of course i’m a fool, romantic, last chance, on friday on rtr.
11:53 am
11:54 am
forewarned is forearmed, any remedy has a downside with the most necessary knowledge about health, we dispel myths, we help to find out the truth, how to act in order to land well, you need to do this before warm up, what to pay attention to, each factor... there should be its own pill, where to look for help? you only need five ingredients that will benefit your entire body. it takes two decades from the onset of the disease to its manifestation, so the whole family needs to be examined. the most important information from the most competent sources. take care of your complex body, keep yourself warm and be healthy. and most importantly from monday to friday at art. please take a moment, this is lyusya, hello, she will be working with us laboratory assistant, today, why should i thank god, who sent you to me, well, you’re
11:55 am
just a miracle, maybe you’ll start sleeping with her, so that she can do all the work for you, why are you calling me on you, well, you’re a boss, but just a person you don’t see me as a man, you want to make a discovery, well, you can’t, you can’t kill your life just by sampling. the main thing is not to make a mistake in the calculations, all this time we have been together and will be together, and he will marry me, you understand, laboratory assistant, today at rtr.
11:56 am
hello, hello, hello! hello, every time i start this program, i think about telling you something so that you stay on our button, i immediately understand that in my life, 60 years on variety on television, too, i have told almost everything in various speeches , what can be said, i told and told, my character in such cases exclaimed... i talked about the importance of humor in life, so that our laughter would be more meaningful, i understand what benefits it brings, gave examples from life, read out on a specific occasion various quotes from thinkers, talked about a sense of humor, talked about artists and so on, but no matter what i said, there were people, now i’ll show them to you, who...
11:57 am
11:58 am
dita petrasyan, he will tell them a monologue. he will tell them a monologue. the spaniard gave us a free kick. the goalkeeper’s ball was flying wide, because at the moment of impact, he remembered petrosyan monologue. perozyano remembered the monologue. who was the artist’s teacher? who was this wonderful teacher? utyosov. that's who convinced the comedian to read his first monologue. read your first monologue. what to give you as
11:59 am
a parting gift so that the viewer can laugh, it’s better we ask petrosyan, let him read a monologue for us, let him read a monologue for us, gifts for me. it’s better no, i could sing verses with you, but rather than listen to long verses, it’s better to have a short monologue, it’s better to have a short monologue, let him tell the monologue, well, i’ll tell you, of course, by the way, i want
12:00 pm
note, a monologue is not told, it is either read, or played while reading, if it is based on some kind of action, or it is a monologue in an image, this, in my opinion, is the most interesting form, allow me to introduce myself, i am a hereditary mach, clairvoyant, hearing , eccentric of a wide profile, famous, shaman, my great-great-grandfather was a magician, great-grandfather a witcher, grandfather a zavmak, father a chumak, according to my passport i am ivan petrovich with a double.
12:01 pm
this ancient name means crystal honest. so, enough chatter, i’m demonstrating my superpowers. locators. so, here you are woman, what is your name? i knew it. don’t say anything, i’ll guess everything myself now. you came to the concert. petrosyan show, guess it? well, genius, you came with your husband, either your own or someone else’s, guess? men who
12:02 pm
came with their wives, raise your hand. if you want me to guess your wife’s name, mentally repeat her name, and i’ll spell it out. oksana, did you guess right? no, woman, your husband is thinking about some oksana, women are looking at you, i can see everything, by the way, you have a mobile phone in your purse, guess what? i'll give you your phone number now, the first digit is eight, the second is nine.
12:03 pm
or monday, our program comes out on saturday or friday, it will be necessary to say, tomorrow will be sunday, so, quietly, i demonstrate the forecast for tomorrow. it will be light during the day, dark at night, a promotion awaits you, increased blood pressure, what is it, women, i see damage on you, oh, what
12:04 pm
12:05 pm
three fly agarics, washed it down with a liter of horseradish, hung a bunch of st. john's wort on his ears, and at midnight began to bang on a tambourine. at 2 o’clock the neighbors came and also hit my tambourine, and recently a pregnant woman came, i looked at her and said: “you’ll give birth soon,” imagine, she gave birth in a month, what a miracle, and recently i walked through the wall, helped the woman, right at her house...
12:06 pm
the third eye recently opened, i won’t say where, i went to a battle of psychics, there... they hit me in the third eye, such a battle, oh, i couldn’t sit for two weeks, they gave me they asked a photograph of some man what was wrong with this man, i said that i see everything, he took a photograph, you didn’t understand where this man is now, this man is in the photograph, i said, listen, are you weird? can you tell me about the future of this person, what is in store for him? i see everything,
12:07 pm
the flash of the camera is shining on him, i’m poppy fuflazar, i see everything, i predict the future and other troubles, i will remove damage using the pin code from your credit card, i have a special offer, mating of cows, mating of dogs, castration of cats on viber, one woman came my husband has sciatica gout, please help, i said, take four chicken navels, and a dried eye of a suriname toad, a bunch of st. john's wort, to taste, put it in your beloved's borscht, she did everything, and now my husband is no longer bothered by gout. not radiculitis, may he rest in heaven, one man
12:08 pm
came to me, i immediately told him: you, i see the father of two children, he said: “you’re wrong, i’m the father of three children,” i tell him, you’re the one who’s mistaken. i looked at the other, oh, i didn’t know what to say, i don’t even know how to say it, i told him, but your wife will die in 2 days, he says, i know this without you, you tell me the main thing, they will catch me, well , the stars are also turning to me, my friends, one curly haired man came and do this: so that dandruff does not bother me, i took three
12:09 pm
fly agaric, the fat of an elderly rhinoceros, a bunch of st. john's wort, rubbed into his head, the result was expected, dandruff no longer bothers him, what was his name, and dmitry nogiev, does anyone have 100 rubles, i can. predict something, please let me, i will establish an energetic connection with you, please don’t leave, i see now, the universe is telling me that you have a financial loss today. do you want free
12:10 pm
advice? no, no, and that’s right, matchmaker 2.500, so i’m telling you, this is all nonsense, how to carry out a ceremony to attract money, this is the thing, at night you need to undress to your face, take three leeches and suck them on your buttocks, you need to crawl along the corridor and... repeat : conjure woman, conjure grandfather, yoksel-moksel, blindomet, musi, pusi, tebedov, woman sowed peas, hop, hey, lalalei, give me money quickly, get dressed at dawn and go to work, every month, on the tenth and twenty-fifth you will have money. i’m the people’s pre-dreamy in bullshit,
12:11 pm
i cut off the scumbag, sculpt gorbatov, melt green dogs, drive away squirrels, pour a glass, catch a drummer in the house, i read another important ritual in a witchcraft book for attracting wealth, it was written: you need to take four. pig hooves and go to the cemetery at night, spread the hooves on the grass, in a square, and under the full moon... pick a bunch of st. john's wort and hang it here, well, i bought hooves at the store, took a taxi, went to the cemetery, they pulled up, i asked the driver, what’s your name, he says, i say, darling, you wait for me near the fence, i
12:12 pm
’ll quickly figure it out, let’s go back, i entered the cemetery at midnight, laid it out... my keys fell out of my pocket, oh, i’m crawling through the narwhal bunch of st. john’s wort, looking for i’m looking for these hooves in the grass, suddenly a voice has gathered far away, i turn around, the watchman is standing with a shovel, i say, man, i have problems, i can’t get home. he says, you’re already home, now we’ll find your apartment, everything will be fine, i say, man, you don’t understand, i’ll go home soon, i just need to find the hooves, he
12:13 pm
he says, what kind of hooves, i threw a hoof away somewhere, you know, he says, everything is thrown away here, man, you don’t understand me, i ’ll find the hooves and go home, there’s a horse waiting at my fence, he’s like a ray of sunshine, in the cemetery go for a walk, but i won’t let you through the fence, and he hits me with shovels on the head, oh! life among our magicians, to be honest, is not a piece of cake, it doesn’t help much, one bank says they did a love spell on one magician, can you imagine, for 20 years in a row, he comes to this bank every month and
12:14 pm
gives them money, it’s called a mortgage. and now the main moment, group session therapy, raise your hands everyone took a deep breath, oh, and exhaled, look at your neighbor on the right and smile at him, look at your neighbor on the left and kiss him. woman, why are you wincing there? so what if the neighbor is unfamiliar? kiss me and you will know each other. after my session you will have a powerful aura. contact me, my email, write down. witches,
12:15 pm
fuflazar, drive away bablo. sobacassovesti.net. ay, are you okay? thank you. let's see. on rtr, on the weekend i’ll go to my mother for a blessing, you, i follow you, follow me, you had a bird in your hands, ruslan, you give me a stray pilot, my heart is not a stone, now i am your wife, and i am your husband, if there is
12:16 pm
12:17 pm
12:18 pm
are turning into projects before our eyes. i love plants. i'm actually a plant maniac. in our living room real stone flowers will soon bloom for the heroes. after dismantling, much will become clear. and dreams become reality. yes, look. let me into your home, big changes, every sunday on rtr, i ask for a moment of attention, this is lyusya, hello, she will work for us as a laboratory assistant, today, why should i thank god, who sent you to me, for a miracle, maybe you’ll start sleeping with her so that she does all the work for you, that you are calling me out, well, you’re the boss, but
12:19 pm
you just don’t see me as a person, a man, you want to make a discovery, well, you can’t, you can’t kill your life with just test tubes, the main thing is not to make mistakes in the calculations, all this time we have been together and will be together, and he will marry me, you understand, laboratory assistant, today at rtr. let's talk about unusual talented people who are completely immersed in their work, but in ordinary life they can show themselves inadequately. for example, the great composer franz schubert was indifferent to the brainchild of his muse. what he had already written was losing interest for him. as if it had already happened, there were even cases when he did not recognize his compositions, when they were played for him, the composer
12:20 pm
exclaimed, a folding little thing, who wrote it, or the genius mozart loved to sleep, his relatives came up with the idea of waking him up in the following way: he had to play at least one chord, mozart immediately woke up and began to develop this theme, once great pogoniny... was late for his concert, he hired a cab driver, who, recognizing him, asked him for a fare 10 times higher, are you kidding - paganei was surprised, not at all, the cabman answered, i told you the amount you charge for one ticket when you play at one string. “great,” answered the fiddler: i will pay you this money, but only if you take me there.
12:21 pm
12:22 pm
12:23 pm
how do you like the wine? bozhelenovo was collected on the third thursday of last year in october on the southern slopes of the province of bzui code. oh, that's amazing. candy? perhaps. confectionery factory red november. layer number 76. although i prefer stacker 69, you are so smart, tell me something interesting, can you imagine, in 1904, the french scientist henri poincaré formed the hypothesis that
12:24 pm
12:25 pm
woman, a member of the academy of sciences. very interesting, tell me. in more detail, she and i were very close to the discovery of the influence of the sigmatic process inside the atom, well, no, well, no, well, that’s not what i meant, anatoly, i meant something a little different, have you ever loved a woman, of course he loved, and more than one. i loved two women at the same time. what were their names? sofia kovalevskaya and maria skladovskaya curie. god, how they turned me on. sofia kovalevskaya was the first time i learned about the rotation of a rigid body in a spherical vacuum.
12:26 pm
the law of thermodynamics lived for me, anatoly, can i ask directly, have you ever slept with a woman, slept, uh, as a child, i slept with a teddy bear as a child, and only as i grew up, i realized that it was a teddy bear, come on -let's have another drink, right? oh, something i'm right you're all tipsy from the wine, it's just that your body is oxidizing ethanol to acetaldehyde, and then to acetic acid with a styling enzyme, well, you have to, and
12:27 pm
you... do you want to take off your vest? i would love to, but i haven’t taken it off for 40 years, it has already become fused with mine. it’s a shame, but can you take something off yourself? i can, take it off quickly, i can relieve myself of responsibility for langmuir’s theory of molecular adsorption, in which i mistakenly believed. can you feel my heart beating? i feel like it's you do you feel it? i feel the atria contracting during systela.
12:28 pm
12:29 pm
the equation is a to the nth power + b to the nth power, o yes equal to the power? what are you doing? has no solutions, yet, yet, non -zero integers, a, b, c, oh, yes, i'm all that? that's right, baby, how you turned me on, i'm sorry, but after everything that happened between us, it's quite natural, you know what i'll do to you now, that i
12:30 pm
12:31 pm
didn’t bring joy to the soul, only just, only, what doesn’t happen in public transport, what happens first of all is conversations, conversations, conversations, controller passenger, your ticket, my ticket, what are you sick, are you a doctor, your ticket, my ticket, i’m an inspector, and i’m a plumber, you’re all at home, and you want to come visit, your ticket, my ticket, are you a hare? what are you, wolf, your ticket, why do you need it, well, i ’ll see, well, buy it for yourself, look, your ticket, my ticket, here’s my stop, ratori,
12:32 pm
well, let me pass, well, let me pass, well, who ’s pushing, i’m not pushing , i’m squeezing through, you’ll forget the russian language with you, oh-oh, look how gentle we are, right... she’s saying goodbye to the rooster, this may be her last joy before the broth on the bus go for a ride, but you feel sorry for me, yeah, i ’m going to complain about you like his greenpipes, you ’re offending nature, the deceased, why did she stick to me like a bird, there’s a woman riding with a quack and nothing, oh, i’m sorry, it’s your husband.
12:33 pm
honest mother, how much food has been put into him, but he won’t eat my chicken by chance, he doesn’t eat anything, but congratulations to the woman, it means he ’s pregnant, look, now this one has stuck with a pregnant crack, oh, am i doing anything for anyone? i say, i said something bad to someone, here you are, bald, i am i telling you anything? why are you rolling your eyes at me? what? am i standing on your foot? why don't i feel anything? man, do you have a problem? i’ll tell you, did you just lean towards me with hope? well, how do i know who bit your leg? there's a guy crawling under your feet, maybe he's gone crazy? man, what are you crawling under your feet? laces, or what? what glasses?
12:34 pm
12:36 pm
12:37 pm
what image of victory he will destroy the gang in his head with zelensky yana rag see you, you just caught a criminal, you are an extraordinary person, even my wife admits it, look at rtr, the whole city knows, he’s scamming kostyuks. our local police officer will become free, not free, but mine, i give 3 months to reconcile the parties, that i decided now or never, a real woman. will never become an ex, i will return him to heaven, and he will be happy about it, well then i have nothing to lose, oh, heaven
12:38 pm
knows everything, you won’t leave me now because of this, or you will, continuation, look at my mouth on monday! what is miniature theater? this is a theater where small works, one-act plays, sketches, parodies, skits, monologues, and interludes are performed. theatergoers borrowed the term "miniature" from fine arts, where small graphic, painting and sculptural creations are called so. however, this concept has also existed for a long time in music. some compared the theater to a mirror of life, others clarified that it is not a reflecting mirror, but a magnifying glass. but then we comedians must formulate in our own way, this is nothing
12:39 pm
more than a distorting mirror. on the internet i read the reasoning of our viewer sergei mikeilov. in the measles mirror. he writes: everything is truthful and straight, everything is like in life, in life more and more often, as in a distorting mirror, it is distorted and deceitful. bravo, sergey, you wrote it very figuratively and paradoxically. theatrical tragedy idealizes, while comedy paints portraits. caricatured. ho, hoy,
12:40 pm
hoy, shame on you, i got drunk this morning, well, let's go, let's go, i said. looks like he’s not breathing and he’s not a drunk, listen, when they sleep, they have such happy faces, but this one, all green and twisted , may have died, for sure, for sure, i, i, i saw in television reports, such exact faces, you need to call the police, police,
12:42 pm
12:43 pm
show them your body, the testimony is called, yeah, there she is, yeah, well, the guy seems nice, nothing, guy, but show you the whole body, but what about parts or something? well... maybe in parts, which part do you like best? i can show the legs, but can i show the arms? what legs, where are the arms? look, look, that's what you are, look, granny, what do i care? show? i ask where is the body? there’s something i ’m confused about, i don’t understand, something i don’t understand either, was there a body at all? i had a body, but in 30 years i lost so much weight. i’m building, it means that since there was a body, then first i want
12:44 pm
to inspect the body and take testimony from you, are you going to take what right here, or what? or what, i don’t know, at least it’s the entrance, let’s go in, not in front of people, are you like a body in the entrance, well, let’s go, no, well , if i go into the entrance, then the body will be in the entrance, if we go to the vacant lot , and body it will be in a vacant lot, and she will be, yeah, where i am and the village, granny. well, come here, i go, go, well, breathe, breathe on me, my mother, well, valerian beer, demedrol, medicine, we are being treated, we are being treated, so, it’s clear. and you, granny, similarly, son, there’s no need to breathe,
12:45 pm
these are the ones that distract us from work, and then the bosses swear that the detection rate is bad, look at him, for some reason i didn’t understand what the detection rate is bad, well, he means that you are bad at opening your body, you will open the hole better, try it, grandma, what in general, let's look around quickly, you see, everyone is staring out of the windows, come on, come on, well, stop it immediately, otherwise i'll bring you to trial for giving false testimony, i don't understand why it's not necessary, well, he says, i want to attract him, he says, he wants to attract us somewhere, but he says, well, to attract some kind of this, you know, the wrong district police officer, no, he’s normal, let him attract him, but what, yes, yes, we agree that the guy , he is attractive, yes, son, consider that you have attracted us, what next, next i need to examine the body for excitement. criminal case. atren, this is somehow wrong, wrong. i understand, little flower. he means that
12:46 pm
to be aroused, he needs to examine the body. vagul, yes, how can you not understand? examination of the body is a normal procedural action. matryon, he’s a maniac, what kind of maniac are you talking about some kind of sexual activity with us? i say, maniac! what did you tie? so, if you don’t want it this way, i ’ll force you to give evidence. look, he wants to send us to some dacha, little flower, i understand, they collect girls at the dacha and take them off all of them are testimonies, fathers, i won’t go, i won’t go either, i’ll explain for the last time, i want to see the body in the form of a corpse, he’s crazy, you know, he’s crazy, he wants to cocoon us, and then examine the body, i’m a maniac, i want see the corpse, show me. i have a corpse, don’t scream, now you will have a corpse inside you, long and big, like you, who
12:47 pm
has opened up, show your forehead, show your body, we are not like that, not like that, we are you, who called you here, who called you, i called , guilt, you called, well , deal with her, i don’t know what to do, finally, my dear, woman, dear my, i beg you, show me your body, son. and you don’t need to beg me, i may have dreamed about this all my life, i’ll show you everything, you’ll like it, and then we ’ll have a wedding, a historical curiosity. while traveling through
12:48 pm
france, mark twain took a train into the city. dejon, the train was passing, he asked to wake him up on time, and the writer said to the conductor: i am sleeping very soundly, when you wake me up, maybe i will scream, do not pay attention to this, and be sure to drop me off at dejon. when martven woke up, it was already morning, the train was approaching paris, the writer realized that he had passed by dejon, he was very angry, he... ran to the conductor and began to reprimand him, i have never been as angry as i am now, he shouted, the conductor replied: “you are not as angry as that american whom i dropped off in dejon at night." what doesn't happen? svyatoslav yeshchenko often tells us funny stories from life,
12:49 pm
and the authors of these stories elevate them to the grotesque to make it more fun for us. it was, i’m an accidental oligarch, of course, there’s a lot of money, money is everywhere on me, on the refrigerator and in the wardrobe and in mattress, here, but you know, still unhappy in this world, i also have misfortune, just before the new year , my faithful companion, my nest egg, left my life. this is a bunch of diamonds, god knows how many carats, i hid them from my wife deep on the mezzanine, in old hunting boots, imagine, boots full of diamonds, i come home in the evening, december 31st, my heart didn’t just skip a beat, it skipped a beat, the mezzanines are empty, everything
12:50 pm
is torn apart, i ask my wife what is this, she says, spring cleaning, i say: where are my old hunting boots with the rest? trash in the trash? i am losing the gift of censored speech, i say: the mother of my son, i say, you are the mother, you gave the servants to throw away, i myself threw out this rubbish, i say: mother, where, mother, in what container, mother, what difference does it make, i say, well, to the bottom or from above, to the bottom, and what are you asking, i say, well, you mother, i say, for now, set the mother on the table, mother, and while i mother, i’ll give mother some fresh air, mother, mother, from the table, from hunger, i grabbed the sandwich and ran to the trash, and there, oh my, second raw materials, 10 containers, all to capacity, what to do this, of course, i could ask someone to sort this whole thing out, but
12:51 pm
i trust my stash only to two people, only myself. it was getting late in the evening, i strained myself, i knocked over the last container, took some kind of stick, started excavating, the director of the joint venture is a treasure hunter, two people come up, the neighbors downstairs are curly-haired with his hippopotamus, envious theatergoers are emptying the trash can together.
12:52 pm
but i have no time for them, i picked out the container, there is no stash, i turned the second one over, there is no stash, some dog runs up to me, give me lick, the owner yells behind her, ugh, lord, don’t lie down, you fool, you’ll die, get away from this animal, i say, who are you rustling with a woodpecker’s nest at, my cologne is more expensive than your apartment, he says, oh, this is your odikalon, yes, it’s really a company, the smell is all over... i didn’t answer him, i didn’t care, the third container, there are no diamonds, suddenly out of the bushes a policeman, excuse me, a policeman, i came across a homeless person, i was already choking on air, he says, don’t rush poor guy, chew it first, i say, well, at least make a wish, i’m standing between two pieces of garbage,
12:53 pm
the lids... he tells me, you're rude, toothless, i say, why toothless, all 32 are in place, he's not all arguing, i'm a fool. turned it on, i said, comrade policeman, well, what can you take from me from a homeless person, do you want me to hand over the criminals to you, but the varyugi are taking out the furniture, then these idiot theatergoers are running for chairs, the policeman was delighted, cotton under white hands to the department, a smart joke, but to me no fun, fifth container, sixth, no stash, suddenly out of nowhere... throws out vavan, my colleague, well, in the sense of a business competitor, styopa got caught, he says, when you pay back half a hundred bucks, he promised to pay off the debt a long time ago, i
12:54 pm
say, vova, what a debt, look at me, and i’m covered in bags, he looked at me like that, says: yes, in reality you ’ve screwed up, but i thought, i was lying, that there was no money, sorry, bro, i can’t help you, but i forgive you the debt, god forbid, god forbid, i dumped it, so i think, who else did i borrow from, maybe every month in the creditors’ trash bin accept, seventh container, no stash, a garbage truck pulls up, a man in an orange vest tumbles out, what a dog is trash gutted, i say: listen, you, a taxi for garbage, here's 100 bucks, leave me alone with the garbage, i got it, he got it, he didn't get it, he got it, he didn't get it, he gets into the cab, in shock,
12:55 pm
babbling, well then, that they buy women for the night, it’s understandable, but so that the garbage, the oligarchs are completely mad, soon the garbage will have to be taken out of the city by itself, well, it’s no laughing matter for me, the eighth container, no, stash, i was so nervous that i didn’t notice how ... my son was walking along the sidewalk, the bride and her parents were with him, they came to meet him on new year’s eve, my son could pretend that he didn’t notice me, but out of horror and surprise he said the fatal phrase: meet me, this is my dad, i’ll tell you further in person, like in a theater, as my neighbors love. bride, valera, you said that your dad is cool, and he is a bomzhurik,
12:56 pm
mother of the bride, i was going to learn how to live from this man, fathers of the bride, dear, roll up your sleeves and learn, and there are still two full jugs left, bride, valera, what did you mean it when you said you would go? in the footsteps of my father, father of the bride, my berry, all the work honorable, believe me honey, people throw away a lot of interesting things, your husband will shower you with gifts, my idiot, what nonsense, i studied in london, father of the bride, and what kind of special garbage dumps are there, mother of the bride,
12:57 pm
everyone get out, don’t disturb work, the bride ran away in tears forever, her parents followed her, i dug through the trash, there is no stash, i’m returning home, i say, mother of my son, i say, you definitely threw out my old hunting boots, yes, you definitely threw them away, where you stuffed them, as expected. ..in a large trash bag with all sorts of rubbish, there it is in the hallway, i almost
12:58 pm
broke my teeth, you said that you took it to the trash, she told me, once again you’ll hide the diamonds from me, i’ll say that you took it to the city landfill? the diamonds are in a safe place and will go to the one who should get them ... as a new year's gift, here are the wives, and they think that we can only spend our stash on women for vodka, well , our dear, good ones, vodka and a woman are it’s vulgar, understand, well, it’s vulgar, what is vodka baba, well, well, take it higher, much higher, champagne and girls, this is our dream, white
12:59 pm
dance, comrades, ladies invite cavalerra, look at rtr, ah, donjoan, unfortunate , of course, i feel sorry for his wife gulnarochka, i immediately saw that she is a bnalluk, sooner or later she will ditch us anyway to each other, what have you done, yura, what have you done, blood type 5. from monday on rtr, you are watching 100 to one, what is our task, open the whole board, we will cope, if you ask, then with a catch, the name of which character from pushkin’s works everyone knows, how much it will be 7,8, 7,8, 7, 8, how long has it been, who is at work,
1:00 pm
a lot of? and speaks loudly, if you answer, then with humor, i chop oak, don’t pluck, problems with water, light, uh, housing and communal services, i don’t know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry are a set for headaches, don’t let me god now beep, if you win, then hurray, 100 to one, oops. tomorrow on rtr altai is a majestic mountainous country, nature has generously rewarded this region with picturesque green valleys, waterfalls, mountain ranges, snow-white peaks and glaciers, the beluga whale, the two-headed sacred one, is especially rich in glaciers.
25 Views
IN COLLECTIONS
Russia-1 TV Television Archive Television Archive News Search ServiceUploaded by TV Archive on