tv Parad yumora RUSSIA1 August 18, 2024 2:50pm-5:00pm MSK
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and the atmosphere itself, well, it’s probably just amazing. we came to rosa khutra specifically to see this event live. an atmosphere of creativity. the festival includes a casting of young performers. the winners can perform on the same stage with world opera stars. we raise them higher, higher than the broom. the presidential fund for cultural initiatives and the all-russian popular front supported the idea of the festival. this year it is also dedicated to the 225th anniversary of alexander sergeyevich pushkin, as well as the roman. korsakov, he sought inspiration in the rich and such a distinctive culture of their homeland. pavel milnik, nikita kalchenko, olga shtopol and nikita yakimov, news from sochi. and that's all for now, denis polanchukov was with you, see you soon. we invite you to the swiss-hotel sharmel sheikh, the first swiss-hotel in the world operating on the system. all
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inclusive. give yourself a vacation where elegance and natural beauty merge into perfect harmony. create memories that will remain forever in your heart. swissotel sharmel sheikh is your ideal place in the heart of the city. cognac, monte shoca, stellor group product. kalinonn belek. a place where time stands still, immerse yourself in sophistication and luxury, forgetting about time on the shores of the mediterranean sea. discover true perfection, making dreams come true. kalinan beleg hotel, where life turns into a fairy tale. old barrel cognac.
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steller group product. titanic de lux hotel, golf beel, where every moment is exceptional. wrap yourself in comfort by our pools, relax in the spa salon and enjoy exquisite dishes from the best restaurants. here, every room is a journey to coziness and comfort. your vacation - your rules. titanic deлюx, golf bellet - a choice for an unforgettable vacation. rtr planet is more than just television. let's fly! and where can he hide? only here, on khitrovka. believe in our love. how did i get here, huh? a corporate party, or what? what are you? oh, these are the troops, then bakht, trakht, bam, duvan! bad signs. what was that on the strip? i
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'm not a fighter, i came for my brother, i have to find him. reciprocate our feelings. i don't want to choose who i should love and who i shouldn't, i don't i will, i don't want to, i shouldn't. i will operate, unfortunately, there is no motive for the murder and no connection between the murders, but it is there, and we will find it. this should be in tanya for now. don't leave us. i poured a basin of hot water on myself once, and can i come and look into your eyes, are you ready? yes, at any time of the day, your accordion sparkled like a guiding star, at any time of the year, turn on the music, blogger, and you are alone in this robin, can you imagine, i will try not to be confused, everything for you only on the rtlanet channel. it seems that we will soon have a baby, i
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i will be the happiest man in the world. an obedient wife should help her husband in everything. our entire bureau lives thanks to lenin's ideas, to raise children. son, i love you so much, to respect your mother-in-law. yes, this is the first time i have met a mother-in-law who is completely satisfied with her daughter-in-law. but sometimes the system fails. the mri showed that as a result of the mother's injury , the child's brain was severely damaged. we are threatened with paying a colossal penalty on a project that promised a solid profit, neither you nor i will be able to finish it. what have i done? i promised lena that everything would be fine, she believed me. obedient wife. on saturday.
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so i decided to sit less, and began to move more, yes, no, no, lenochka, i began to lie down more. by the way, karen, let's talk today about a healthy lifestyle, that is, about everything that has a beneficial effect on our health, well, there is a diet, sports, healthy sleep, rest, rest, this is also very suitable, and of course, the most important thing is money, karen, what do you mean, what does money have to do with it, what kind of rest can there be without money, exactly, i agree, len, and i have one suggestion for you, let's, let's do it right now. let's start a healthy lifestyle and have a little rest, and in the meantime , the funny artist karen will perform, what won't you do for your health, healthy sergey drobotenko on stage, let's meet!
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friends, there was a case, a woman ordered an air conditioner for herself, on the appointed day they called from the company, asked to go down, to meet, the woman goes down and sees the men carrying some big box without identification marks out of the van, as it turns out later, they brought it to the neighboring one.
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to clarify what it is, white, white, wonderful, well tell me, tell me about it, what kind of floor-standing it is, well naturally, why naturally, maybe you will mount it under the ceiling, listen, we have been working for the company for 10 years, but so far never. under the ceiling, no, if you want, we will mount it for you, of course, only you feel sorry, why me sorry, well how can i tell you, you may not to have time, yes, there are different situations, it’s good
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that it’s a floor one, tell me, it ozones the air, but it depends on you. here’s a question: will i disturb the neighbors? well, that also depends on you, got it, guys, i live alone, what do you think, is one enough for me in principle? listen, we don’t know you well, well, i meant, it covers the entire area. “well, that’s enough for you, oh, guys, it’s a steal, it’s a steal, i’d just take it and kiss it, i can say i’ve dreamed of this my whole life, and in your whole life there was no such thing, imagine how you
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managed without it before, like everyone else, opened the window forward, it's good that we live far away from you." guys, you can live wherever you want, let's agree right away, you won't leave me until you show me how to use it, excuse me, but have you never seen it? i've seen it, but i want you to show me, from start to finish, in detail, but there are only two modes, okay, we'll show you, tell me, and i can use it in the winter, naturally, why should i wait until spring, guys, and my last request, last one, can you bring me a pipe outside, yes, you will feel sorry for the people, and what about the heavy dripping, yes, then i will put a bucket under it. that's it, come, here is my forty-second apartment , wait a minute, it is actually in 45, as in 45,
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so petrov bought, everyone complains, we live badly, one woman read in the newspaper that laughter is very good for health. it not only prolongs life, but also reduces weight, and now this woman walks around laughing, everyone thinks that she is crazy, but she is just losing weight, well then now we will have a mass session on stage weight loss and longevity, because the artist who will now go on stage will make you laugh until you drop, meet the stage, charming and unique elena stepanenko.
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hello, man, nitroglycerin pharmacist, how can i help you, and the adhesive bandage, rather you break the adhesive bandage, okay, okay, here you go, here is the adhesive bandage, 1,225 rubles from you. what does it mean, why? what does it mean, why is that? expensive for the patch 25 rubles and 1,200 for the watering can, how come you didn't ask for the watering can, you
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said, give the watering can a patch, there was no like that, a regular band-aid without a watering can? no, men, you don't need it, you don't need it, you said it clearly, a watering can-bandage, here's a watering can, here... pastor, here's the receipt, men, how come you don't need a watering can, well you need a band -aid, take it, i can see, men, i can see, i can see that you cut your finger i agree that when you cut your finger you don't necessarily need to buy a watering can, you don't want a watering can, take a hose, here's 60 rubles per linear meter. yes, i understand what i 'm talking about, what? you don't want
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to wrap your finger with a hose? well, i don't know, it will be even more difficult to do with a watering can. man, i actually i realized that you don't need a hose and you don't need a watering can, especially for 1,200 rubles. and if i join for fifty rubles, you still don't need it. well , if you don't need it, then you don't need it, i mean a discount, because i already punched the check, because if you add a hose, that you're bleeding, you'll fall over now, oh my god, well, i'm telling you, that's when you'll need a watering can, they'll pump you out with water, oh, you think, you're the first one, yes, you 're the first one to come for one band-aid, no, you're not the first, what? you're sick, oh, oh, oh, listen, man, i see you're bleeding all over the floor
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you're dripping this, oh my god, well, well, there you go, you need another floor brush, i 'll add it for 580 rubles. so, everything that darkens in your eyes, listen, i don't have glasses, man, glasses, they're sold at the optician 's across the street, well, you won't get there in your condition, not without a scooter, so man, i'm here now. look, look, here's the cheapest scooter 2,400, well, that's it, hold on, man, hold on, until... let me, let me help you myself, let me, let me, i 'll take the money myself, yeah, look, i'll take it money, here i am taking a calculation, a fill-up, for a hose for a scooter and a lottery for the benefit of the compulsory health insurance fund, and what, lasterm will tie you to the scooter, that's right, now look
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, you stand like this on the scooter, stand like this, so that you don't fall off, and hold your finger up like this, like this, like this. lynik that's it, here go, where are you going, where were you going, to the pharmacy, for some adhesive tape, listen, well i work in a pharmacy, but we're out of watering cans, man, don't cry, you go to another pharmacy, i'll tell you the address now, man, man, quiet, quiet, hold your finger like this, like this, and it's not far, in the chat, my brother works there... medic, twin, give me a nitroglycerin, yeah, otriks, nitroglycerin, he'll get scared at first, and then he'll pick up the best saber in your hand.
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you know, lena, i noticed one paradox, why, when a person is in a bad mood, everyone says, well, drink something, yeah, when a person is in a good mood, everyone says, well... hni, that's why? well, because of alcohol relaxes, lifts the mood, relieves stress, but unfortunately, karen, it is harmful to health. and what drinks are useful then? maybe coffee? no, coffee raises blood pressure, causes aggression. here is a friend of mine telling: girls, you know, yesterday in a cafe with friends we drank three bottles
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i have long wanted to know for you, how can i become a better man in the world, i you yes for you, love 3.2, for you, fur in the palm of your hand, for you, my heart will ache, for you i can do everything, only for you. for you white nashiratsii, for you a word for orders, for you, will be delicatetsen only for you,
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hey, you need, i want to ask, what else should i do or buy for you, for you, don't play with me, on toelochta, i will move mountains, only yes place for you, for you, love, for you. no, in the palm of your hand, for you, heart my stomnet, for you, i can do everything only for you. for you white nashiratsii for you sun for zakatsy for you there will be delicacies
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you saw how she lay, it felt like she was carried in arms, and then just laid down. "the case smells of fun, what did you bring us, i will please you with a knee zionist, what actions do you suggest, one thought came to my mind, blonde, brunette, redhead, you will find an approach to any criminal, i assume that she had a lover who could have killed her, a secret investigation on monday on rtr. we present to you the legendary horse balm from the czech republic with horse chestnut extract, which will relieve you of pain in muscles, joints,
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spine and tendons. a balanced formula of medicinal plants provides an immediate more soothing effect. the balm is produced at the world-famous czech resort of karlovy vary using an ancient swiss technology, for over a thousand years horse chestnut has been used for treatment and prevention many diseases. it has a strong antibacterial effect, provides invaluable help with muscle strains, dislocations, fractures, polyarthritis, arthrosis and other joint diseases. in addition to horse chestnut, horse balm contains lavender, rosemary, comfrey extract, eucalyptus, tea tree oil, peppermint and peat extract. call and order horse balm with horse chestnut extract at a uniquely low price, from only... 95 not enough pressure in the garden hose, tired of endlessly cleaning everything with your own hands, introduce the hydra blast from hammer smith, a fast, simple and very convenient
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of a completely new. you can easily clean under furniture, where it is usually very difficult to reach, only today the unique, ingenious cordless livington dipper swipper with smart built-in corner bumpers that protect your furniture, skirting boards and walls from scratches, can be yours for only ... 8995, but if you call make an order right now, you will receive an incredible discount of 20 euros, and livington dipper swiper will be yours for an incredible 69.95, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited, today from childhood school ensembles did not take me, well, i even had twos for a penalty,
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you intrigued me, so what kind of work is this? lenochka, you will not believe it, he sleeps for money, karen, this is how he works as a professional mattress tester, the company produces, for example, a new mattress, invites him, he sleeps on this mattress, and then they ask him if he is comfortable he slept as if he dreamed, his springs were not pressed, this is the kind of profession a person has,
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this is a dream job. you know, it’s good when work and rest coincide. by the way, one famous writer was asked what his daily routine was. he answered, well, what can i tell you, i get up at 11:00, have breakfast at 12:00, then check my mail, answer phone calls, then a walk in the park, lunch, theater in bed. he is asked: well, when do you do literary work? he says, well, when is the next day, of course, now the stage will go out one such writer-humorist will please you with the fact that he wrote the stage leon izmailov. let's meet.
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i want to tell about myself, so honestly, like in confession, so, i am tall, handsome, blond with blue eyes, yes, i know three foreign languages, i have the second category in boxing, the third in chess, women love me very much, i have only one drawback, i love to lie terribly, so, i was an excellent student in physical education, i am now engaged in sports, well, so i am doing morning exercises now, like this in the morning i got up, washed myself like this, everything was so abruptly, i lay down on the floor, on my back, stretched my arms along my body and fell asleep, i started running, ran half a kilometer, came back by taxi, in my youth i was involved in equestrian sports, i really
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was involved in equestrian sports, horses loved me. they always laughed at my jokes, that's it, i have a higher technical education, once it even helped me in life, i was riding the subway, a girl was sitting next to me, solving crossfort, she couldn't guess a six-letter word, a flying machine for baba yaga, i prompted, i say, a broom, she says, and how do you know, i say, well, i graduated from the aviation institute. after the aviation institute, i completed japanese language courses and now i can open a japanese zoltyk without a translator. after the japanese language courses, i completed higher screenwriting courses, where i learned to watch good films and write bad scripts. you know, i dance badly, something always gets in my way.
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i never dance in public, what. didn't you think that i was grimacing, in general, i should tell you that in my youth, i loved books and sex most of all, well, now i'm at a different age, i don't have the strength not those, that's why now... only sex, in general i have to tell you that with age, of course , a lot changes, you know what a midlife crisis is, it's when you see young goats in girls, and they see an old goat in you, all those sounds that i used to make during sex, now i make when i get up from the couch. you know, memory also gets worse with age, i was told that to improve my memory you need to solve crosswords, i tried to solve korsfort, well, for example, there was something like that, here is the word, so it is written, so it is
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a tool for burying, but i have sorted everything out, a shovel, a pick, a scoop, you know what it turned out to be, a pipette, well what else can i say about myself, i am not handsome, but when they say that they love... for beauty, and for character, i just go wild, because my character is even worse, i am a monogamist, i love only myself, well in my youth i was carried away by women, but i have always had an iron principle, my friend's wife is not a woman for me, but if she is very beautiful, he is not my friend, you know, i have always had enough sense to understand that i am not very smart, in general it's good to be friends with me, especially those people who have... who have a lot of money, i absolutely selflessly love those people who can help me financially, i can't stand it when people watch me eat, when they watch me, i immediately try to eat
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gracefully and beautifully, and either choke, or the tea will go down my nose, for some time, you know, i was on a diet, so kefir for breakfast. kefir for lunch, kefir for midday, borscht with sour cream for dinner, potatoes with cutlets, two kebabs, three eclairs, but now, now i'm on such a gentle diet, i don't eat after 1am, my wife is pretty, she has only one drawback, her husband, that is me, she came home cheerful, so happy from the market, it turns out she managed to... exchange all our rubles for dollars at a good rate with the gypsies, yes, i looked, the dollar is real, only for some reason the american president is wearing a cap with a gold tooth, once she didn't
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talk to me for 2 days because she saw me in a dream with some whores, well, what else, you know, she's the only one, she recently found my a reference from a kindergarten, and it says: sleeps well, eats, walks, she tells me, so many years have passed, and nothing has changed, well, guys, i want to ask you, tell me, isn't it offensive that the cat does nothing all day, just eats and sleeps, and his wife still loves him, but i still love her, i love her, you know, we even sat down to drink to love once, and the police separated us. do you even know what love is? love is when you've already sobered up, it still beautiful. well what else can i say, i am very kind, resourceful, resourceful, once in a strip bar i ran out of money, then
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i stripped my panties, shouted thank you, and i also had such a habit, i smoked a cigarette after sex, like that po... and finally, when i feel ashamed of my behavior, i remember that there are people like alexey panin, nikita dzhigurda in the world, and it makes me feel better. oh, you know, karen, it happens that the husband, for example, has a vacation. in may, and the wife in august, can you imagine, they go on vacation separately, so i'm thinking about how in such a case not to give in to the temptation to remain faithful, it's very simple, lenochka, i heard that one woman, before leaving on vacation,
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bought her husband a fidelity train, well, she put her husband in the middle of the room and surrounded him with bottles of cognac, what women, he couldn't even... get out of the circle for 2 weeks, oh, you know, and i heard that another woman, sending her husband on vacation at night, wrote on his back in green paint: married, two! children, when he returned, there was a note on his back, congratulations, soon to be third, yes, women are great comedians, now a woman will come on stage, humor that everyone will like, meet natalia koresteleva.
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in our songs, men are so tender, affectionate, romantic, well, just knights ready to do anything for us, in life everything is completely different. i decided to sing our songs as it happens in life, and not as poets have fantasized. here. have you heard this song: i will buy you a house by the pond in the moscow region, have you heard? do you remember how it goes on in the text, do you remember? so, he bought her a house, led her there by the hand, here she sits, and the white swan shakes the fallen star on the pond, raise the hand to whom the man gave the house in the suburbs with the swans.
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you rested here for 30 days in the family, and heard this song, everything for you dawns and fogs, for you flower meadows, what flower meadows, huh? will give one carnation for 30 rubles, you know, such a broken match, in general, in fact honestly, this song, a husband would sing to his wife, like this, everything for you, a stove and a meat grinder for you, mitla, sabok and sponge for you, a washing machine with salt for you, and for me, fun and tv for me, bars with striptease for me, friends,
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fishing, vanya, for me, and for you, half dry on all fours for you, wash windows at full tilt for you, and scamper like a vatrachka for you, afilya, filya, remember, i forgot, my only one, here, hand on heart, in a man's life there is only one creature that he loves, cherishes, cherishes, and is ready to dedicate such lines to him, the only one, my bmpx5, new not wrinkled, taken on credit for 100 years. why do i need shena now, you are better than her, you
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rush me so quickly, and most importantly you are always silent, and this song, you heard, stas mikhailov sings, you heard, then, there she dumped a man wife, and this man sings, without you, without you. yes, oh-oh, everything immediately became unnecessary without you, oh, it's just very bad without you. i'm wasting my life in vain, and you see that a man without a wife came to a resort and is wasting his life in vain, and he, the man, doesn't believe me
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and he's right, because in fact this song, a free man without a wife, would sing like this... without you, without you, i immediately had money, the running to the store stopped, your wind doesn't get into my pocket, without you, without you, everything has slipped off my neck your family, your wife is a stupid flower of a cat, and you don't call me a shabby asshole, but in any case it's gotten better, without you, fool, heard, heard, egor krit sings such a wise
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philosophical song, there, you see, a guy fell in love with a girl and tells his mother, oh my god, mom, mom, i'm going crazy. her smile mom makes my head spin, it's only in songs, but men, in men's lives something completely different excites, oh my god, mom, mom, i'm going crazy, her apartment, mom makes my head spin, 100 m to visit mom, boats, i'm a parquet, i'll get married i don't care what she 78 years. men, our dears, please be in life as you are in songs, gentle, affectionate, romantic, then between
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us there will definitely be, eternal love, like a ray of sunshine, will touch us, will dispel the gloom of the clouds, its string, only two can hear, the clear light of love will warm us in snowy february, and dissolve in tenderness, sadness at ... carrying us away into the distance of gray days the lead will melt the fidelity of loving hearts the everyday life will melt and we will take off then your soul will cling to my soul eternal.
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as if two wings, wash away again, shine mirrors, they have through the years, together you and i always, men, and if you love us, we will forgive you everything else, then, to hell with it, we are from a saucepan, we will allow, and we will allow to throw socks everywhere, to pester unshaven, to snore at night , to sing loudly in the shower most of the morning
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, to buzz with friends in the garage all night, to walk in only underwear with crumbs. in a mustache, because eternal love, it is the strongest of all, from all adversity, it must save, and only love, we need it, it is the only one, only love is important. you will listen to me, well come back, forgive me
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me, breathe the same air with you, disgusting, what, stop, ira, ira, we're watching rtr, this is a gift on this special day, like it, i hate you, where is my child. i'm going to scream now, scream, well, it's hard to pay off someone else's debts, take it, vira, don't come near me, don't come near me, there's blood, what happened there, what blood, where it's strange somehow, there's no corpse, no statement, and no wife, return, and... from monday on rtr.
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i am a fish, i am a fish, very, very exciting, the whole world freezes in anticipation, wow, that's completely incomprehensible, but time does not wait, every second counts, you know what a hare, a hare, why, i have learned so much now, and the more versions, the more chances to win, only not me, only not me would be called. close me, five to one, bye, in saturday on rtr, how much has passed since the accident, 2 months, and you haven’t left the house during this time, you mean, you haven’t left, can you get me back on my feet with your method, i will fight for my legs on principle, yes, i am also going to fight for your legs, you yourself want this, but he won’t give it to you, if you agreed to stay with him, then this would be enough for him to feel your support, you are a massage therapist, so do what you do best, what is it, you’ll take and leave, you came to fight for mine
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of the twentieth anniversary international competition of young. performers long-awaited new wave 2024 on friday on rtr. oh, you know, i recently saw an ad on the internet, you have absolutely no free time, a slump at work, contact me for a purely symbolic fee, i will go on vacation for you to any resort countries. i think i'll go to a sanatorium, improve my health, karen - that's a great idea, they say they heal everyone there, you know, yes, in one sanatorium, mine, there is such a procedure, hydromassage, you know, when you are massaged by a stream of water like this, listen, so one vacationer was being massaged, massaged, accidentally turned on boiling water, he jumped up and ran away,
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so what? "i would have run away too, yes, but before that he was paralyzed for 2 years, by the way, let's do it right now right in the hall, we will also carry out a health procedure, quieter, quieter, karen, what, do you want to pour boiling water on the audience, why boiling water, humor, laughter and great jokes, because gennady vetrov is on stage. friends, today i want to talk about a hobby, to be honest, i have several hobbies , i like to compose short musical impromptu on a given topic, well, for example, a relevant one, today i can’t really go anywhere, this topic, although i haven’t been to grannoble, nor to
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ulan bator, but on... there is another topic, marmalade mood, since i marmaladed tatyana, after cakes and hookah, tatyana she shook her breasts, all mushy, everyone has different cubes, there are people who are very passionate, by the way, i have a friend, his name is uncle lenya, nicknamed deadline. he, he suffers, even, he says, gene, well, because of my hobby i very often end up, you know, in intensive care, i have a hematoma all over my body, you know, or a concussion, and recently there was a fracture, you know, i say, what is your hobby, what is your passion, he says, yes, i am passionate about women, other people's, and my wife is passionate about martial arts, but only with me,
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you know, he always wins, i say, yes, he does, yes, she's just in the past. she's a fourth-class sleeper layer, i say, how many classes do they have, he says three, but she's fourth, you know, i say, yes, if life is so difficult, get a divorce, he says, yeah, she said, try it , we'll see how you look later, who'll need you, you're a quadriplegic, well, some people go mushroom picking in the forest, some people collect stamps, some people collect medals, some people collect badges, i have a friend, he collects euros, that's it... only he collects everything connected with the metro, old tokens and retro photos, and recently he looked at us slyly, he wanted to buy a chain of metro stores, but his collection of euros was not enough, a very original person, you know how he named his son with a double name apollon gerasim, i say, what about it, he says,
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well, apollon, it's beautiful, i say, i agree, and he says to gerasim, suddenly life won't work out, but his life has worked out, he has everything, recently he invited me to his birthday, i'm thinking what to give the person, which has everything, yes, i remember, i have another hobby, i paint pictures, yes, i paint, so, and he invites me to... a birthday, and i, you know, tried to whip up a simple picture for him, so i bring it, he looked, says, gen, you guys are so nimble artists, you'll come up with anything, just so you don't have to spend money on a gift, and what is at least drawn on the picture, and what is it called, and there are already a lot of lines, i have, a lot of lines and you know, such abstractionism and
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i say, well... that's what it's called decorative rhododendrons from the arboretum in the rain, who in the rain, it doesn't matter, how would you call it, he says, well, what would i call it, look, there are a lot of lines here, very, very many. i would call it the moscow roundabout through the eyes of sobyanin, here or look, a drunk bee, lost the navigator looking for the way home, you see yes, or this is a corporation in an anthill, see how much there is, or spiders on a side job, i say, stop playing the fool, i say, what if my rhododendrons from the arboretum will then cost like van gogh's irises 50 million dollars, he says: then bring them, later he asked me a question, not an eyebrow, but a straight face, understand, my friend, this is not a whim at all, i will hang a picture in the bedroom right now, i just need to know where the top is and where the bottom is,
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we can voice the next picture together, i will write the first three lines, and you will write the fourth line, here is a picture called on the road on the road we see a magic wand. cooler than harry potter and the skier, it is a wand, and a very profitable one at that, it is the wand of a russian traffic cop, a traffic cop, well, that's right, by the way, it is not my picture, not mine at all, no-no, a friend of mine drew it, i say, you shouldn't do that, they can stop you on the road, you know, the traffic police might not like your driving on the highway, he says: gen, first of all,... i don't break the rules, yes, and secondly, the traffic police have never stopped me in 47 years, i say, well, i'm lucky, he says, i'm lucky, because i ride a trolleybus,
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i don't have anything going on with cars, he says, i lift the hood, my mood drops, i can't understand anything, just like in your paintings, by the way, that's how i lost a friend, and you know what praise for the artist's most... unpleasant, so most sophisticated, you know, a person looks at a painting, says, well, what a stunning frame, well , the frame is just wonderful, you know , by the way, the frame can impress more than the canvas itself, and confirmation of this was in one of the london galleries, a painting of abstract content measuring 2x2 in an oak frame fell on the head of the caretaker, it was the most... powerful effect of art on a person, everyone then asks: how, why? what? because you didn't have to come to work every morning with the words: hello, daub! here's an expert who will voice
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the following picture, you can't tell where the nose is, where the eyebrows are, where the eyes are, there is no beauty and no aesthetics in the picture, look at the caption, what kind of beauty is this, a portrait of morning, lelya. if there is a visitor, you can hear approximately the same reaction of such folk experts, people, people, people, well look, well i recognized him, well this one what's his name, well, well you know, people, this one, she's in rubens, no, no, no, ours, ours, well what did lekha say when he dropped the vase, oh, vazovsky, oh, vazovsky, here he is, and this which monulizu on...
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counting money, oh well, i answer, this exercise relieves joint pain, normalizes blood pressure, improves appearance, removes headaches, relieves sadness, oh, karen, and i... another remedy for sadness, do you know which one, no, listen, if you are sad, you need to attach a ticket to our concert, wait, where should i attach it? and where you feel sad, that 's where you should attach it, wait, lenushka, and if you don't have a ticket, well then turn on the tv and watch for free, i promise, sadness will be gone, because igor khristyanka is on stage, we welcome you.
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hello, hello, dear viewers, 1975, the blue light, and then for the first time on black-and-white screens there appeared - an amazing character, with whom i immediately - fell in love, a student of colin. let's imagine for a few minutes, and how this one a student of a college could exist in our, well, in general, probably, difficult times.
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i'm sitting, playing on the computer, then my mother says, son, it's time for you to get married, i say: mom, why did you decide that? she says: well, well because... because, because you're already 58 years old, well, well, well, mom, well, well, maybe i 'll wait a little longer, well, damn, 10, 20, she says, yeah, you'll wait, your bride will come to you, in a black hood with a braid. get married quickly,
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otherwise, otherwise, otherwise, otherwise i'll turn off the computer, i got scared, yeah, no, we need it urgently by saturday get married, well, well, because, because on saturdays... i play tanks with my friend on the computer, i posted an ad on the internet, a luxurious, self-confident man with a stable income. mother's pension, marries
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she said, i'll come this evening, she came, i i open the door, i look, a skirt, like this short, uh-huh, it’s obvious she lives poorly, uh-huh, and she looks at me like that, she says, ha... and tell me, aren’t you bored being alone all the time, i say, well, i’m not alone, i have a dog. a bulldog, a very rare breed, yes, she says: and in the evenings, your naku, i say, well, to the toilet, uh-huh, i wash my face, brush my teeth, then
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i look good night, and bye-bye, she says, well then maybe, “let’s go somewhere together in the evening,” i say, well, but we won’t fit in there, the stall is very narrow, she says, what are you doing like that, well, well "look at me, i'm a woman, divorced for 18 years, what do you think i'm waiting for?" "i say, well, my pension, and she, she grabs it, she made a strawberry out of a vase, and come on , oh my god, this poor strawberry, she's murriget, i
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look at her, i think, she must be hungry, i need to go hide the cutlets, otherwise she'll eat everything, and she grabbed me by the neck and whispers: bite, bite, bite me, i say, so, i say, you ask for a bubble, she bites well, she says, what is this, but, but let's do something indecent with you, i'll give it back, great, let's spitting on the balcony, and she, she, she goes like this at me and says, well, plant, well , undress me, i look at her, i think, here's a little girl, well, well, i, at 3 years old i was already
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undressing myself, i hung my golf socks and shorts on a chair, and this is him 40 years old, she jumped up, and let 's get on the table to the music, she turned on the tape recorder, she threw clothes on the table in the corners, i look at all this, i think, this is, this is, what kind of a housewife will she become,
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to play tanks with me tonight, did you see how she was lying, it felt like you were carrying her in your arms and then just put her down, it smells like something is wrong, what did you bring us, i... i'll please you with cyanide kolen, what actions do you propose, one thought came to my mind, blonde, brunette, redhead, you will find an approach to any criminal, i assume that she would have... secret investigation
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on monday on rtr. sale we offer you a universal photo facade for a fence at a special price of only 6.95. with its help, you can easily and quickly transform your suburban area beyond recognition . fence, terrace, mesh: instantly updated without expensive repairs and painting. four bright beautiful colors to choose from. all you need to do is fix the photo facade in a way convenient for you. this is a ready-made solution. photo facade - bright life is suitable for any type of fence, wooden, stone or metal. when available contamination, it is enough to wash it with water. beautiful, fast, convenient and easy. call and order a universal photo facade. for a fence bright life at a special sale price of only 6.95. just choose
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the right design and create a unique look for your suburban area. bright sunlight bothers you, are you afraid of harmful ultraviolet radiation, bright sunlight blinds you while driving? then you need sunglasses that filter out bright sunlight. while ensuring bright colors, perfect contrast and clear vision. we present hd polaris 100 percent polarized sunglasses for perfect vision, equipped with original polarization technology to protect your eyes and vision. ordinary sunglasses only darken your view, and hd polariс offers clarity, vivid colors and perfect contrasts. almost every surface reflects bright sunlight. color, it irritates and strains the eyes, special polarization technology
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filters out reflection and ensures a clear view, helping you while driving, hiking and cycling, today you will get your polished sunglasses at an incredible price, only 39.95. but wait, today we are adding a second pair of hd polaris glasses in a cool brown frame for free, and... remains the same, only 39.95, you save almost 40 euros, but attention, an absolute sensation, if you call right now, you will get a third hd polar, also absolutely free, today only you will get three original hd polaris for the price of one, a handy case a microfiber cloth, and the price remains the same, only 39.95 and you already save almost 80 euros. enjoy clear
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, high-contrast vision without glare. please note, the offer is strictly limited. introducing comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. these are stylish and durable shoes that will suit both men and women. the sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro straps, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape, high instep or protruding bones, and a comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot will be completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this incredible lightness in the feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material that allows air to pass through well, allowing the skin to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black universal gray. and a wide range of sizes from size thirty-seven to forty-five. treat yourself to comfortable,
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beautiful shoes right now. call order universal sneakers with velcro artex at a price of only 24.95. one of the most beautiful and talented actresses of the sixties, svetlana danilchenko, filming in the cult series eternal call, a role in the film by akira kurosawa, which received an oscar, and then years of oblivion, now the memory of her can be consigned to oblivion. our investigation of the mystery. malakhov on monday on rtr, you know, lema, it seems to me that we live somehow boringly, why? well, i think that you need to live to the fullest, well, take everything from life. karyn, i don’t understand what you mean? well, for example, in the morning, instead of 2 km. run three, at work instead of 8 hours work 9,
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in the evening instead of one glass of wine drink two, in the morning wake up not at 7:00, but at 11, that's it. karen, great, you came up with an idea, you can also go on more than one diet, three at once, in the evening eat not until six, but until 12 at night, yes, now watch the performance of not one artist, but two at once, because irina borisova and alexey egorov are on stage, we meet. i signed up for a neurologist, but what kind of appointment, all the coupons were taken, so you would sleep longer, i slept, but at 7:00 i was the first in line at the clinic was standing, and so what, the security guard
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opened the door, said, that's it, the coupons to see the neurologist are gone, how... so, like this, he said, sign up online or by phone, you took the number, wrote it down, i entered it into my phone, well let's try it, dial and turn on the speakerphone, hello, you called the clinic, your call is very important to us to make an appointment with a doctor, listen to all the options before you make a choice, you need a therapist, press one: cardiologist - two, traumatologist - three, pulmonologist - four, rheumatologist - 5, ophthalmologist, 6, urologist, 7, speech therapist, eight, surgeon, 9, you need to see a neurologist, yes, press 10, like
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10, there are only 9 and zero, oh my god, try that, one and... oh one and zero, so you dialed one and zero, this combination of numbers suggests that you need a neurologist, press one if this is not the case, two if you want to go back to the previous menu level, three to listen to the basic information again, did you accidentally dial this combination of numbers five, if you really need a neurologist, five, five, yes, five, you want to make an appointment with a neurologist, yes, press one, if it is convenient for you on monday, two, on
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tuesday, three, on wednesday, four, on thursday , five, friday, come on five, why one on monday i will go, you want to make an appointment with a neurologist on monday, yes yes, press one, if it is convenient for you from 8 to 10, two from 10 to 12, three from 12 to 14, four from 14 to 16, five. from 16 to 18 5 press, why five in the evening, where, i will go in the morning, one, come on, one, you pressed one to make an appointment for an appointment with a neurologist on monday, from 8:00 to 10:00 in the morning, yes, unfortunately, all
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the coupons for this time have already sold out, try to get a ticket to a neurologist, on a live queue and do not forget to get a referral from a therapist. thank you for using our commercial service for making an appointment at the clinic. the cost of one minute of conversation is 300 rubles. without vat. thank you for these 10 minutes you were with us. be healthy. tell me karan, when you go somewhere on vacation, how do you choose a hotel? well, i don't know, i read reviews on the internet. oh, me too, and i find a lot of funny things among the reviews. listen, one woman writes: i ask
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you to compensate me for the moral damage caused by the replacement. i read terrible reviews about the hotel on the internet, and sent my wife's mother there, and what do you think, she returned happy, tanned and not alone, with the hotel animator, now they live with us, don't believe the reviews on the internet, karen, to find something funny, you don't necessarily have to come up with something, it's enough to see, remember and tell our viewers, meet, eh, the scene, alexey shcheglov. i
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was listening to our songs on the radio today. and i came to the conclusion that almost all of our songs are about love. it's as if people care about nothing else except love. but i think that songs should be modern , topical, they should be from... i urgently need a handbag, a fur coat, a skirt, a dress, a top, and i also want to go on a cruise, two
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tickets to the ball, give me money for all this, i answered my wife sveta, i have no money, but hold on, i'm going to spend the night in the entrance, i also really like this song. this makes me happy like no one else, but it's not clear why he so happy in our difficult times, so we need to sing this song so that it would be clear: i am happy as no one else, i found a thousand in my coat, how wonderful my life is, in the theater, i am a wardrobe man, i will leave, this song you are also what kind of dolphins-mermaid, i am telling you, you know all the songs very well, dolphins mermaid, well
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, they should be closer to life, more understandable to the people, and in our country, by the way, most of the population lives in rural areas, so we need to sing this song, but about the problems of rural areas. the vet drank for a week, drank 10 bottles, bitter, then got to work, so that the cow would conceive, the king, he found a groom for her, so that their love would come true, kept them in the barn for 5 days, but nothing worked out, a goat and a cow, to be honest, they are not a couple, not a couple, not a couple,
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next time you invite only a sober veterinarian to the animals, we continue to sing songs, i calculated the budget yesterday, my spirit immediately perked up a little, i took a 75-year mortgage, an apartment, it won't let me sleep until the morning, i have one disturbing thought. yes, i'll be 125 when i pay it all off in full, i'm waiting for sleepless nights now there are endless nights and debts, i'll have
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five children, let them pay for their father, it's dreadful all around, the wind is driving clouds, pines and firs are everywhere, all around is solid taiga, you can't see a damn thing. clouds are covering the sky, wolves are howling nearby, the phone doesn't work, apparently the signal doesn't reach , how did i get here, my navigator is a bastard, a useless thing, i was going to kuzminki, what have you done, viper, navigator. my bastard, in
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general, gentlemen, poets and composers, write songs about what worries people, be closer to the people, then your songs will become popular, and we, the people, will sing them and have fun, crisis. scenes rush up at a fast run, everywhere, money melts without a trace, only the song remains with a person, the song is your faithful friend forever, through go... through cataclysms on
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any road in any direction, if you go through life with a song, then no crisis is scary , thank you. clean up the blood, find ira, don't tell the police, watch rtr, you knowing about this, bring her here, the murderer, i have the right to kick your love out of my house, she is not a lover, she is my wife, ex, i am you i'll get you out of the ground, i'll tear you to pieces, he 's a beast, he won't spare anyone, i'm not that puppy either, i won't let him, returning from
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monday to... rtr. rest is to leave yourself alone. rest is to not think about anything. when you're calm and completely switched off. rest is rest. we know everything about rest. anexс. pechora vodka, a product of stellar group. allow yourself a first-class rest with liorets. elegant details. a holiday of exquisite tastes. a variety of entertainment, a golden
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for the first time we will show you one of the most secret units of the armed forces of the republic of belarus, why lukashenko transferred tanks to the border. in ukraine they would be very happy if russia used, or we there, tactical nuclear weapons. are you ready to press the red button? how did you perceive the invasion of ukraine into our kursk region? naturally, the military and putin themselves will die, but they will remove
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the ukrainian military from there. then the question will arise: why did they go there? one on one with moscow's closest allies. who pinned the nord stream on zaluzhny? they are finding a goat from the forest. it looks like the john kennedy case, we don't know who shot him, but the case is closed. new cranberry, how drunk ukrainians at a party decided to blow up a gas pipeline. the first comment from seymer hirsch, why is he laughing out loud. fraudulent deal from larisa dolina's apartment, possibly the transfer of stolen goods millions took place right here in moscow city. who scammed the people's artist. the scammers are located in ukraine, were in touch with our victim from. april to july, gained her trust and how not to become a victim in the phrases of artists, they think well , hands, goodbye, big news with evgeny popov
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today on rtr, you know, lena, i heard one story, one man came. to the psychotherapist, he asks, what's bothering you? the man says: you understand, doctor, i have a wife at home, three children, yeah, and today is a day off, i i came to lie down quietly, i have a request, doctor, wake me up in an hour, yes, yes, great, he came up with it, karen, yes, real male logic, oh, come on, is this logic, this is real logic, listen, one blonde says to another, you know, i found an excellent... mosquito repellent, she asks, which one? she says: in the evening i turn on the lights in the whole apartment, open all the windows and doors, when all the mosquitoes flock into the room, i close all the windows and doors and go
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to sleep on the balcony. the artist who is about to go on stage knows about female logic almost everything, yes, because the scene. we meet red svetlana roshkova, you know, my friends, they say that if a person is attractive, then he always attracts, i absolutely agree with this, i have a friend, her name is karina, but she is just some kind of fantastic woman. she named her daughter ophelia, here is afeliya, beautiful, musical, afeliya, with an a, i asked her, i say, karina, but i
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understand why, but, but, but, but why with an a, she was so surprised, she says, sveta, you seem to have, you seemed to have studied well at school, you that you haven't read hamlet? what about ophelia's daughter, my friends, she has a cat named gagarin, for example, mine is petrovich, she has gagarin, i wondered why, why is she called that, i pestered her for a long time, pestered her for a long time, she didn't want to talk, she kept avoiding the answer, she said, what difference does it make to you, sveta, well, what difference does it make to you, well , you call gagarin-gagarin kitty-kis, he runs, then i finally made her talk, she said: "okay, fine, i'll tell you, because i feel." that you won't leave me alone, i'll tell you, why, just don't laugh, well it happened that way, gagarin, how else, he was castrated on april 12, she and her children, she - well
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, somehow accustoms them to art, she took her little karen, who was 5 years old, to the opera for the first time, the opera eugene onegin, 3.5 hours of action, the child is 5 years old, we thought he wouldn't sit through it, no, he was so interested, it, it's something so extraordinary happening on stage, the artists are singing, such decorations, light, beautiful, and of course, after the opera he asked his mother a lot of questions, and because he couldn't during, he sat with his mouth open, and karina fed him all the time, she fed him every 5 minutes, she gave him something in this open mouth, because she has a thing, she always thinks that... the boy eats poorly, sveta, he eats so poorly, he hasn't eaten anything at all today, eight times a day, is that a lot, she fed him all the time, so after the event he asked her questions, mom, i don't understand why, why lensky, yes, he
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died, because, and negin, why did she shoot him, she says, like why, because that lensky ate poorly, she has an answer for everything, you see, for absolutely everything, we have a friend, she goes to karina, she goes to complain about her husband, well , that's her thing, well, she has no one else to go to. she comes to karina, karina listens to her, listened for a month, a second, a year, then she got tired of it, she says: listen, i don't even want to talk to you about this anymore, i don't want to listen to you about this, you will remember, a woman, she is a keeper, you understand, everything depends on a woman, because a woman is the beginning life, a man is the end of everything, she understands this, she knows this, because she is a wonderful hostess, everything is good, i love to be at their house, because it is
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always a holiday, it is always khinkali, khinkali, and at the head of the table sits the head of the family, his name is khachik, he is a head shorter than karina, he is powerful, he sits, absolutely bald and commands, karina, what's the matter, we are already choking here, come on, come on already bring what you have there, she says: " i have prepared everything for you, i am bringing everything, i will put it for everyone, hen, i will put it for khachik, more than anyone else eat, my dear, eat, the harchik is eating, here is this juice, it flows down your hand, it is very tasty , he sits and says, harina, is this henkali, this is not henkali, look at the henkali my mother has, study, why do you have only one onion here, she says, why one, so many onions? well, i just remember the time
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when books were held in high esteem, everyone collected libraries, karina had the best one, everyone knew about it, and at that time i was studying and during my studies i needed a calderon, i ran to karina, i said: karina, help me out, i beg you, help me out, i need calderon, look if you have calderon or not, if you don't find it, i don't know what to do, karina, that's it, that's death for me, she says: wait, sveta, don't die, the last one. coffee, i'll look now, she ran into another room, came back in 5 minutes, says: sveta, i didn't find calderon, she brought a liar, well you know, so she came to me, i think where to take her, and i took her to the zoo, a wonderful, beautiful place, she's like a child, she fed these ducks, like, like, like, like, everyone here, everyone here, i'll give everyone a bun, come on, come on, come on, everyone... let's go, everyone, they looked, they came to the monkeys, she
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talked to everyone, looked at everything, wrote everything down, at the end, you know, in a huge cage sits something so unusual, shaggy with human eyes, like this it's locked and looks at karina, she came up, looked at it with delight, then did this, and it answered her from there. you saw that, right? she looked around, there was no one, she jumped over this barrier, came closer, says: what are you, is it you? well, a wonderful person, you know, i adore her, she has a fantastic sense of humor, i already talked about this, so everything that appears in me, i show her first of all, and you know, in fact, she does not always like everything, well and...
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our people use the boss's car in the parking lot to relieve stress. they do this sometimes, but the best way to relieve stress is, of course, laughter, so relieve stress with us, laugh to your heart's content, and karen, avunisyan, will help us with this. listen, my wife, an amazing woman, she loves cinema so much that she never misses a single festival, she knows all the actors like her own relatives, and one night i heard, bruce, bruce, willis, do you love me?
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at first i thought they forgot to turn off the tv, but then my wife, without opening her eyes, took me in a daze and started screaming: bruce, show me how you love me, show me what a tough nut you are, i swear on my mother, i was so scared, the thing is that no one has asked me for anything like that for a long time, i decided that maybe this wife... kuku, woke her up, said: "listen, darling, i'm not bruce and not even willis, you can check, look, bruce's head is bald, like a knee, and even my knee is curly, my wife touched her knee, just in case,
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her head, fell asleep right away, and with such with a disgruntled look, as if it were my fault that i 'm not bruce willis." and that i'm not bald, well i think , okay, i just dreamed it, maybe it's something that never happens to anyone, but the next night, she did something weird again, turns to me and says: leonardo, dicaprio, don't be as cold as iceberg, you love me, you love me, she says, well show me, show me, like that time on the titanic, and she clearly starts checking something in me for... starting from my knees, i wake her up again, i say: listen, darling, next to you is not leonardo ti capri, and i have never sailed on the titanic and that the only iceberg i've ever seen was the dentist solomon abramovich iceberg, my wife
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started crying and immediately fell asleep, the next night began peacefully, i... had already decided that all this had finally passed for my wife, i thought, well, thank god, well suddenly in the morning, i hear her whispering to me, cristiano, ronaldo, do you love me, what ah, you're on the field now, come on, come on, dear, go around one, two, three, and to me, come to me, dear, and use at least one power move on me, while the judge was sleeping, i turned on the light, disarmed my wife, i say, firstly, i'm not sleeping, secondly, what are you doing, i don't get it, have you switched to football players, well, okay, but aren't you ashamed to cheat on bruce
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willis and leonardo dicaprio with some football player, and not really, she looked at me as if i... just missed a penalty into an empty net, then fell asleep again with a dissatisfied look. in the morning i tell her: "listen, darling, you like the stars so much that you even rave about them at night." she says: yes, i'll hit you and dream of being buried next to depardieu or deniro. i say, you what are you saying, darling, they are alive, nothing, he says, i will wait. i. understood that it was a disease, took her to a sexologist, he examined my wife, then asked her to leave for a minute and said to me, the only way to cure your wife of nightmares is with a special gentle diet, write, sex in the morning , sex during the day, sex, sex, sex at night, sex, sex,
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sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, if it does not help, give up the tormented, nothing. i would have thought, a gentle diet, i don’t know what will happen to her, but with such a diet i will definitely start having nightmares, because i can easily give up all this only from flour, then i meet one of my friends, well i told him everything, and he says to me: you know, i had the same thing with my wife , and i cured her with humor and told her how, well, i think, with humor, so with humor, i came home on the very first night, as soon as my wife fell asleep, i began to tear her pajamas with my teeth and screamed like a cut man, angelina, jolie, do you love me, show me! show me how you love me, show me like then, here my wife, almost fell out of bed,
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what do you mean, like then, what, have you already cheated on me with her, depravedly, i look, my wife is running around apartment with a rolling pin screaming, i'll kill the infection, looking for angelina jolie, and you know, it helped, my wife realized that... that it's better to have a husband on the couch than a star on the screen, now she only goes to film festivals with me, she often wakes up at night and checks whether i'm in the right place or with some angelina jolie, whether everything is in place, and she never screams at night anymore , and if she screams, then only her beloved, prove it, prove your love, prove it, like then, and i prove it, where can you go, but now everything is good with us, now i love cinema, and
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everything is exactly as in my visions, perhaps a crime. when he slept and in general i am here, you see, spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, and he is there , you see, or resting, you see what a gentleman he turned out to be, lenochka, dear, a man should rest periodically, because we live in a constant state of stress, atmospheric pressure is constantly falling, then increasing, constantly some solar flares, all sorts of magnetic storms, by the way, the most terrible magnetic storm was transferred
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by a husband who gave his wife a wedding anniversary present, you won't fall asleep at our humor parade, that 's for sure, how can you fall asleep when there are such artists on stage, they will raise your spirits and make you laugh, valentina korkina and viktor ostroukhov on stage, let's meet! oh, oh, here you go, here you go, how you've matured, well, you've become handsome, well-groomed,
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someone is spoiling you, well, and i was just thinking about you, yes. after all, the first husband is sacred, this is sacred, this is sacred, youth, trembling, flood of feeling, oh, no, listen, no one loves like that anymore, calm down, calm down, calm down, i saw you somehow, like a wave of emotion, that it will pass now, it will pass, married, well sometimes, yes, and that i was happy? oh, 10 whole years, wow, it took me only five husbands, and how i loved you, oh, how i loved you, it was some kind of madness, and how i loved you, like fairy tales, that i carried you in my arms all the time, you never left my arms, from which arms, i could barely stand on my feet, i couldn’t
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untie my hands, you looked into a blue lamp instead. "hello, yes, i have never had a drink in my entire life, and in general i have had a squint since childhood, so i got something mixed up, do you remember what you called me, well, well, you remember, of course i remember, dandelion, your head was like a ball, your neck was so thin, like a stalk, on it was a big fluffy white ball, why white?" you were a blonde, i was never a blonde, well that's better to know, but what i don't remember with whom, so you don't remember, i always said that you were colorblind, who, who?
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such an institute hasn't been invented yet, this is genka studied, your best man at your wedding, i am genska, genka, and i feel, familiar, someone who i can't understand, you were at my wedding, yeah, on your side, verka was the best man, well verka, well she's such a maniac. well, she hung on every man's neck, then i was forced to marry her, she kept saying: love is blind, you'll fall in love with a goat, yes, love is blind, but you shouldn't love goats,
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verka - that's me, hello, vera, that's enough, we've kissed enough, how are you, okay, let's figure it out just in case, who was your best man, mine - genka? oh, his days too called, and whose best man were you? victor. and who did victor marry? vera, her name was vera too. listen, why are you confusing everything? who is this “we”? what, wait a minute, what, wait a minute? who did i marry the first time? i don’t know. and who should know? victor got married the first time, in 1991, so it wasn’t me. there. and i married you, a few years later.
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and the third, but whose, after all, rest relaxes, gives strength, improves mood, karen, and where do you like to rest the most, on the couch. oh, and i, karen, like to rest at the sea, oh, you know, i love the black sea so much, i also like the mediterranean, lenochka, and i, i really like red, semi-sweet, white,
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semi-dry, karen, you know, one of my friends brought a man back from vacation, yes, her mother asks who it is, the friend says: mom, it's a magnet. and my friend kept telling her boss: well, send me on vacation, well, send me on vacation, she persuaded him, and he sent her on vacation, though on maternity leave, now she's sitting, resting, and because you have to formulate your desires correctly, for example, i i want to see a funny number right now, it will be performed, because nikolai lukinsky
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is on stage, when my son was born, he was a baby, you know, i, i didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, no. a normal boy, everything, healthy, yes, but he turned out to be, you know, a fashionable word now , indigo, indigo, but in our terms, a child prodigy, imagine, such a boy, he, he, when he was just born, instead of screaming like all children, he began to tell the doctors where to properly tie the umbilical cord, and then he calmed his mother down and made up feeding schedule. the maternity hospital is in shock, they called a council, checked, a normal, healthy child, and he, my sashok, thanked everyone for their attention, and went home on his own.
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therefore, if they kept him for a short time, who needs a baby who swaddles the others himself, sings them a lullaby in the voice of vitas, the buns fall into the folds, in the kindergarten the same thing, yes, after the visit of the mayor, whom, by the way, my sashok twisted for a major overhaul, as he also made a development schedule, this sashok of mine made. a plan for the development of educators with an accuracy of milligram counted how many products the cooks take away in their bags from work every day in the evenings, so when i was called to a parent-teacher meeting at school i wasn't even surprised, the headmistress first praised sashka, then began to scold him, but the teachers don't want to feel like idiots after his answers.
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yes, all the children agreed, yes, pythagoras' pants are equal on all sides. sashok says, no, pythagoras never wore pants at all, so the theorem is incorrect, all the children are cramming this periodic table, well, remember, yes, that mendeleyev dreamed of this table, sashok says: it's not true, it's not true, mendeleyev , you see. invented vodka, and after it you can dream of any nonsense, of course i'm worried, i hugged sashok so much, i say, listen, who are you like, son, well, in our family, i say, well, not only geniuses, we didn't even have any non-drinkers, including me, he somehow looked me in the eye, said: okay, dad, i'll fix it, can you imagine, right there from... some microscopic nanorobot,
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he threw it into my borscht, i didn't even know, i i swallowed this robot and it started changing all my habits from the inside, instead of beer, i suddenly switched to kefir, instead of cigarettes - socks with a straw, well, instead of a goat in dominoes, i'm ashamed to admit it, to the queen of spades at the bolshoi theater. i already feel that i am not me, but some kind of sour-milk nerd, and, well, all my buddies are offended by me, you understand, because their wives shove me in their faces, set me up as an example, and at the same time, it means that they are all there with a goat in dominoes with a hangover, and i am a library with cologne, and what's more, my head is looks at his buddies, his legs themselves lead him in the other direction. i, you know, i have a neighbor, he
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works in a temporary detention facility, he serves, i asked him, i said, listen, can you send the boy to some sanatorium for the difficult to educate, then no problem, they took sasha to the camp, yeah, i think, well, that's it, they'll turn him into a normal person there, what do you think, a week later the head of this colony for the difficult to educate comes with this... bouquet of flowers, with this bouquet, she says: thank you for your son, because, he says, our difficult teenagers have already switched from swearing to english on the third day, and what does he do with the household appliances, past, past the washing machine, he has tinkered with it a little, you can’t get past it, i’m driving past the washing machine, it tells me: you need to change your socks, t-shirt , bed linen. yes, i go to the toilet, the cistern
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says in a human voice: “clean toilet, face of the hostess”. in the refrigerator, after eight o’clock i pull the handle, it closes itself, closes itself and says: “attention, today you have already completely eaten up the daily norm kilocalories". the next meal is tomorrow at 8:00. i don't know whether to laugh or cry, i 'm thinking, sashok, what awaits you in life, either you, or you will come to your senses and become like everyone else, or the world will change for you and become a little better.
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hello on the russia tv channel , denis polunchukov is in the studio hosting and the main thing for this hour. helicopters, howitzers, attack drones, russian troops are striking ukrainian militants in the kursk border area, a report on the work of our military. a drone of ukrainian militants exploded in some.
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