lio reorts, we are here for you, vodka veda, a product of stellar group.

i was once young, i just learned to drive, comes out of the snack bar and with chopsticks, where are you going, home, where home, is it to the churchyard? 12 years old was left without parents, i had my father's accordion, walked at big weddings, every day mikhail mikhailovich goes out on the streets of petersburg and plays the trumpet, it touches to the depths of the soul, let there be songs from all songs from the heart, andrey malakhov's evening show, today on rtr, yes cheated on you with some.

thank you for agreeing to meet, maybe maybe, let's move on to that, you have a gentleman, he is very witty, well-read, but there is one problem: thank god, you are here, forgive me, please, but i need your help, ex-wife, you say, yes, fell out of the blue, wish map, premiere, on saturday on rtr.

hello, dear friends, yes , you are not mistaken, this is a humor parade, and we are the hosts of this program, elena stepanenko, and karen avanitsam, karen, are you doing fine, something, something you look kind of strange, but no, it's us... just here with friends

we sat in a cafe, and oh, i understand, no, no, no, not in the sense that, we're just sitting and joking, i told a joke about a boxer, he's such a decent guy, summer, the beach, the boxer is sunbathing, sunbathing, suddenly, out of nowhere , he laughs, well, they ask him, what's wrong with you , he laughs, he says, yeah , someone told me a joke in the winter, it just dawned on me now, ha-ha-ha, yeah, i see now... lena, i 've never run so fast, yeah, sport and humor often go hand in hand, an artist i know was performing for the track and field team and wanted to try his hand at hammer throwing, threw, and before he could unclench his hands, he flew away with the hammer, both of them... he and the young man were barely found.

and how good, karen, that this very talented, very curious artist made it to the beginning of the program. and how good. that he came without a hammer, that's true, we'll see now, did he come with a hammer or not, meet igor momenko, my wife bought me a car as a birthday present , a car from japan. "don't rush to congratulate, the pervasive feminine treachery has no limits, my car, if you've had a drink, won't start, the bastard, that's the option, you've had a drink, the ignition doesn't work, the car has been in russia for 10 years

and has no mileage, it would be better if it didn't have a roof or seats, so that when i drank, it would start, i would stand in it. i drove like a general at a parade, we have an intelligent city, four scientific enterprises, an alcohol plant, a brewery, a winery or a chicken vodka factory, how can you drive in our city, we even have proper speed bumps, they lie off the road, they don't bother anyone, okay, my wife bought this car, i didn't know about the option then, well, i celebrated the purchase in a restaurant in french, called napoleon. the french came specially from yerevan to open it, then i got into the car, it wouldn't start. some guy says: if the car won't start, there are many reasons, maybe there's no gas, or maybe because you're poking the key into the wall, you're sitting under the table in the restaurant. i left

the restaurant myself without any help, i was just holding on to the curb, got into the car, inserted the key, the damn thing wouldn't start. and a nasty female voice says: you can't drive a car, you're drunk, your dose intoxication of pipes, then a traffic cop drove up, made me breathe into the phone, said: you're drunk, take two steps away from the vehicle, now i'll tow your car to the impound lot got behind the wheel. a second later he jumped out red like a ball on a japanese flag, i say, why didn't you tell me what's wrong with your ignition? and started yelling on the phone, marina, i'm quitting, the car spoke to me in your mother's voice , the kingdom of heaven, i wouldn't wish it on my enemy, a new car, and i walked home on foot, like lomonosov, towed the car to a car service, to remove this option, none of

the auto repair shop mechanics know where this sensor is in the car, 10 mechanics in the car in turn only stick their heads, voice immediately, you can't repair. car, you're drunk, well, we 're okay, i'll start the car drunk, i'll cheat as hell, in contravention, i put on a gas mask, just approached the car, it started right away, right away, but not the car, a neighbor, 62 years old and only divorced, pressed herself against me, says, oh, neighbor, how do you know that i get turned on by men in a gas mask? "come to my place, elephant, let's drink some tea and pulls me by the trunk, barely broke free, almost lost my elephantine dignity, then inserted the key, i say: "let's start the geisha on the daughter", the voice says: "you can't drive a car,

you're drunk", i say: "sakura, you're dried up, how did you know that i was drunk, the voice says: "only a drunk can start a car in a gas mask, dressed instead of underwear"? then , as luck would have it, my friends invited me to go fishing, there was one's birthday, 30 boxes of cognac for five, i couldn't help but go for such a bite, i cried, but i rode, 200 km on a bicycle in winter, this is not a joke, everything that rubbed against the saddle hurt, what didn't rub, froze into stone, one night i dreamed that in order to start the car, you need to scare it. i drank 50 for courage, then 100 for bravery, then 500 for fearlessness, took a baseball bat, screamed like tarzan on the hood with all my might, bang, got behind the wheel, turned the keys , it started, i drove it for 2 hours with joy,

on red, on sidewalks and in clubs, then my son came up and said: dad, this is my computer, give me the joystick, a team of specialists arrived at the service center for foreign cars, i say, guys, i'll give you 300 bucks, just sort out the sobriety sensor, they tweaked something, replaced it, they said, that's it, well done, he called us, this sensor would have died in a week and you could have driven drunk, we installed a new one, now it will last for 50 years, then one specialist suggested, you need to freeze the car, the sensor for freezing will break it will start, well, we drove the car into a large refrigerator at a meat-packing plant, turned on the frost at full power, i say get ready, you're not going to eat rice with sticks, we kept the car in for 3 days freezers. opened the refrigerator, i approach, the car is shaking and yelling obscenities at me, and

without an accent, i think, that's it, i'll start it now , it turned out that it was my father-in-law yelling, i forgot him sleeping in the back seat, after this frostbite he simply forgot everything that i borrowed from him over 40 years of life together, we decided to push start the car, i got behind the wheel, we pushed ten of us without... after forced abstinence from alcohol , the car, of course, started. in a sober state

, i learned a lot of interesting things. it turns out that i don't have three sons, but one, and daughter. the guitar i played was a washboard, and the mirror i shaved in for 15 years was not a mirror but a portrait of gogol. so if anyone wants to quit drinking, come to me, i will teach you. don't even doubt it. 15. there are sports where neither the spectators nor the athletes themselves are in the mood for jokes, they thought, well , maybe luge or babsleigh, what jokes are there, the terrifying speeds that await the trams. no, it turns out that they joke there too, our famous babsleigh player and luger,

four-time european champion, alexander zubkov, rushing along the icy gutter past his rivals at a speed of about 150 km/h, managed to ask one of them, guys, can you tell me, i'll go out to tverskaya like this, yes, a comedian, he's always a comedian, you come across them even among those who are engaged in such serious sports as... mountaineering, just imagine, two climbers are climbing everest, one says to the other: yes, i keep forgetting to tell you, i gave up the apartment in cheremyshki, the second says: why? am i sick or something, to the fifth floor without an elevator, who can do it? yes, such a skill joke at an altitude of 800 m, a great rarity, i hope it is not about... in vain, no, it did not disappear, the scene in the past conqueror of mountain

peaks, and now one of the best conquerors of humor, our beloved, leon izmailov, we meet, i read in the newspaper. that the english farmer mick willary, even remembered the first and last name, in his 58 years 28 times got into accidents, he broke many of his bones, when he accidentally stepped on potatoes, he broke his arm. stepped on a cat, he broke his leg and smashed his head, falling from

a horse that got entangled with a hoof in in a plastic bag, no, i'll tell you honestly, of course i'm not as smart as this mick willary, but how stupid i am wo n't seem a little, i don't know, it happens to you , you're standing in line at the checkout, yes, the cashier is punching everything out for everyone, but as soon as you approach, bam and the cashier... breaks down, or let's say she goes on maternity leave, it happens to you , you're driving, yes, in the far right lane, yes, and the two on the left are driving faster than you. you move to the middle lane, then the left and right are driving faster, you move to the first row, and he stops altogether, well i remember, i was leaving for the army, the girl promised to wait for me from the army, and six months later i receive a letter, i fell in love with another man, give me back my photo, well another man would have hanged himself, upset, but i wasn’t, i

collected photos of their girls, their young women from all the guys in the platoon... put an envelope, put in her photo, wrote: i don’t remember what you look like, take your photo, and give me the rest, she begged me to come back, well , in short, i came back from the army, went to work as a security guard at a department store, well then i'm walking, guarding, looking, suddenly some kid is riding a bike near the sports department, well i... started yelling at him, what are you talking about, you're riding a ked here, what are you doing here, get out of here , guess who paid for the stolen bike, i was getting ready to go by train to see my relatives in rostov-on-don, the three of us arrived at the station, two of us were seeing me off, and so we sat down in a restaurant,

there was still a whole hour, well we drank, had a snack, drank again, had a snack again, had a snack again, drank again, we look, and my train... is already leaving platform, but you rushed after him, you won't believe it, two of these people seeing me off managed to jump on the train, but i didn't, i stayed, that's how lucky i am, if i sit in a compartment, yes, some person always comes with a ticket for my seat, or some neighbor who snores so much that you can hear him in the neighboring cars, and have you ever tried to travel? with a tajik family of eight, of which only two are adults, and the rest are children, and i am everywhere, but once, to be honest, i was lucky, i got married there, went to a resort, that means, i went to turkey, so i went into the hotel, into my room, everything was included, and the tv

was on, and the running water was on, and even the internet was on, i didn’t believe it, i thought, well, it can’t be that everything was so good for me, like looking into the water, i went to the beach, i came back from the beach, i went into my room, i saw a drunk german lying on the bed and yelling something, well, at this point i couldn’t take it anymore, i grabbed this german in my arms, threw him out of the room, took him down the stairs, 20 minutes later he came back with two policemen, it turns out i took him from his room and threw it away, but one time really... lucky, you know, won the lottery, won a million in the lottery, and, imagine, yes, checked all the figures from the newspaper three times, everything matched up, went, did what i had long dreamed of, firstly, sent my wife, forever to her mother, secondly, came to work, spat in the face of the boss, threw

a resignation letter on his desk and went to the savings bank to get my winnings. the newspaper turned out to be last year's, i realized that there was no way out, went home, wanted to jump out of the window from the tenth floor, climbed onto the windowsill, here in the room my wife came in and said: take your trash with you, i realized that i wouldn't be able to do that either, so now, when i fly on a plane, the old lady starts telling everyone about this... an inflatable mattress and a whistle that you have to use to drive away this shark if you suddenly end up in the water, i don't even listen, because i know that either this mattress won't inflate, or the whistle won't whistle, or the shark will turn out to be completely not mine.

i love you, and i love you, we're sitting here well, the premiere is on rtr, you're so reliable, not petrush, he called someone again, well, don't be silent, please, my name is mikhail dolskaya, i know, we've talked before. you haven't spent the night at home, there's something i don't know, can i finally confess, i love him, you know, i love him. and i can't do anything about it, you know, i love him, the bonds of marriage or the web of love, which will be stronger, i just ask without emotions,

what do you mean without emotions, you won't give up on me, i won't tolerate it, dial, rain at the end of summer, from monday on rtr. rixas premium seagate: family fun starts here, here every detail is created for you pleasure. enjoy the water park for children, lush green gardens, the beauty of the coral reefs and the sea. immerse yourself in a world of unforgettable impressions at rixsos premium sea gate. rixos premium seagate. cognac oldbar - a product of stellar group, we invite you to swiss hotel sharmel sheikh, the first swiss hotel in the world,

working on the all-inclusive system. treat yourself to a holiday where elegance and natural beauty merge into perfect harmony. create memories that will remain forever in the heart. sharmel sheikh - the perfect a place in the heart of the city. vodka pechora, a product of stellar group. hotel titanic deluxe golf belek, where every moment is exceptional. wrap yourself in comfort by our pools, relax in the spa salon and enjoy exquisite dishes from the best restaurants. here, every room is a journey to comfort.

everything will happen, do not retreat from anything, i will still do what i do, the higher the pressure, the stronger the concrete, everything, never change yourself, i do not have a family year every year, for me every minute is a minute families, there is no other way, now there is a struggle for our values, for us, for russia, for the russian world, for our past, i understand that... such responsibility is on me, this is my path, this is my life, my destiny, life and

destiny from monday to friday on rtr, you know, levochka, when i walk past the fitness center, you still walk past, yes, yes, past, i always remember how i once went there, lena, it's so funny, there on the walls, with hatred and anger, envy they look at the wall with inflated strongmen, and you know, karen, i remember how you went into the fitness center i saw a trainer showing a skinny newbie guy different exercise machines, he says: this is a machine for the legs, this is for the abs, this is a machine for the triceps, the guy asks: "is there such a machine to impress a girl in the shortest possible time?" the trainer says: what can impress a girl in the shortest possible time, only one

machine, an atm. i know this story, and i must reveal a secret, this guy did not become a bodybuilder, he does not need to, he knows how to impress with his voice, now you will see for yourself once again, meet, with us. on stage in the humor parade, gleb matveychuk, rode in a troika with tambourines., lights flickered in the distance, oh, how... yes, if only i could now for you

disperse my soul from the board, dear, long, moonlit valley, and that song that flies into the distance with its links. stand with the old and these strings that so tormented me at night, dear long, moonlit night after night, with that song that flies links with that old, and with its own strings, that so tormented me at night, and we come out singing and for nothing.

in vain night after night they burned, if we have finished with the old, so these nights have gone, long road to... moonlit ringing, and with that song that a pig flies into the distance, with that old, seven-stringed song that tormented me so much at night, long road, and moonlit night, and with that song that the distance does not ring, with that old, for this reason, srumny, that tormented me so much at night. we were riding in a troika with bells,

lights were flickering in the distance, oh, if only i could be with you now, to dispel my soul from melancholy. that tormented me so much at night.

karen, tell me, who hasn't heard of hunting tales? you know, a hunter i knew once told me about a hare that didn't catch barzai, because he jumped on her back, and barzai turns his head, says: oh-oh, where is he, where, lost the trail, oh, oh, yes, the main thing here is to figure out why he came home without...

here with a roar messi from the bushes. haren, i think i know who you need to take with you as an athlete to competitions. yes, who? well, listen, he eats a little, takes up little space, she comes up with why they returned without the cup easily. this is, of course, sergey drobotenko, meet him!

my friends, there are many ways in the world to make a person quit drinking, what only there isn't, you know, coding, hypnosis, love spells, powder, nonsense - that's all , there is at least one proven folk remedy that always works, in order for our person to stop drinking, you have to scare him well. i'll tell you one almost fantastic story on this topic. before the new year, late at night, a woman returns home after a corporate party. i like this

phrase so much, a corporate party. what used to be called a simple, understandable word, a drinking bout, is now so elegant, well does not change the essence. a typical sixteen-story building on the outskirts of the city. on the eighth floor , someone's window is burning alone, this is the kitchen of the local janitor, where at this time a corporate party for three is taking place, in particular , there is a discussion on the topic of what to call delirium tremens, the parties come to the conclusion, i quote , that if she, she is already heard, a voice from the darkness, already white... meanwhile, a woman hurries to the entrance, it is cold, her teeth are chattering, even the cat attacked her, she runs into the entrance, runs up to the elevator, and the elevator, it has long been separated from the entrance, it

lives its own life, it wants, it works, when the elevator does not work, the light in the cabin goes out, and the woman is on her sixth floor, so she approaches this elevator with hope: she presses, again, again, today is not her day, uttering the cry of a wounded elephant, she begins a long , painful climb up, it is getting light, she has memorized every step by sight, and at each floor she stops to spit in the elevator, it is useless. the elevator mentally sends her higher and higher, on the fifteenth floor, not hoping for anything, she presses button miracle, the elevator rushes to her with a joyful

cry: well, at least one floor, she enters the cabin, presses the sixteenth, the doors close and the elevator goes to the first, on the first the doors do not open, the light goes out. "if only they would replace the elevator, they installed an answering machine, the steps go into the darkness, the woman tries to doze off, what else to do, at this time the local janitor comes out onto the landing of the eighth floor, getting ready for work,

presses the button, miracle, the elevator rushes to him, but for some reason the light does not come on, but he wanted it that way, not guessing what a gift "a ghost is preparing for him." the janitor, cursing , enters the dark cabin, naturally, does not notice anyone, presses the first one. the doors close and the elevator goes on vacation. the janitor begins to pound on the walls, shouting: "well , at least one mug woke up when they heard a voice from the darkness, and i'm not sleeping." they go cold with horror, the janitor asks. who's there? you know, such coincidences happen, probably, once in a century. she decided to joke. who-who? delirium tremens. i bet you won't guess what, the janitor asked the next moment.

he asked: are you here to see me? is there anyone else here ? dornik, and we were just remembering you. yes, i had the hiccups. and the janitor had a shovel with him. he starts waving it around in the dark , shouting: "go away, you unclean thing." well, the woman answers reasonably: "i'd be glad to, there's nowhere to go." two years have passed since then, the janitor doesn't drink. true , they don't use the elevator, so it works, so they're right, shock, that's our way of saying it, i ask a question and you answer, agreed, sometimes you need to rethink the situation. "give me 3 days, i want to understand what's going on, often

need to rebuild tactics, i just wanted us, don't push, please give me time, it's always important to review the secrets of the investigation, there is a version, from monday to friday on rtr, kalinon. belek is a place where time stops. immerse yourself in sophistication and luxury, forgetting about time, on the shores of the mediterranean sea. discover true perfection, making dreams come true. hotel kalinan beleg, where life turns into a fairy tale. castro: a product

of stellar group. immerse yourself in a world of luxury and comfort. viksas golf villas and suют sharmaьshiy. a magnificent world-class golf resort surrounded by lush green courses and endless horizons. enjoy contemporary design rooms and luxury villas, ideal for couples and families. relax in comfort and style rixos. a product of steller group.

monte chococa cognac, a product of stellor group. we go to the doctor, we take up too much of his time with empty complaints, and we do not go to the doctor when we seriously need to go. forewarned means that every remedy has a downside.

"the case is not yet solved, pokonya, call him urgently to me, very difficult, already on the site in the application we look, they say, the hardest thing in sports is to start and not to quit on the first day, especially when you are already 40. my friend once decided to start a new life went for a run for the first time in his life, well , i must admit, he had a powerful incentive, he fell in love and wanted

to look decent in front of his beloved, to lose weight. she, of course, decided to support him, together they went to the park, he put on sneakers, she took binoculars, when he went for the second lap, sent him text message to support: "darling, that red scarf around your neck really suits you." and he texts back: "darling, it's..." scarf, it's my tongue on my shoulder, i don't know if this story is true or a joke, but now on this stage there will be a wonderful... who will tell you a story about sports. so, meet the charming, unique elena stepanenko. hi, girls, i'm at

the gym, i have a lot of energy and a great. mood, and the reason for this is a healthy lifestyle cognac, no, i don't drink cognac, i'm on it i insist on medicinal herbs, girls, a healthy lifestyle is very cool, i 'll teach you everything now, so, first, i go everywhere with poles, i go to work with poles, i walk with poles, with poles, i even swim with poles in the pool, my brother, the back crawl, although the trainer yells all the time, you idiot, at least take off your poles in the water, we already have more one-eyed people in the pool than two-eyed people, oh, girls, i

don't relax on vacation, yes, this morning i ran 10 km on the treadmill in the gym, and... until they told me that i need a treadmill first turn on, oh, girls, i love sports, in winter i swim in an ice hole, my first jump was not easy for me, i missed the ice hole, five times, but the sixth time i broke through the ice, but got stuck waist-deep upside down, fortunately for me a lifeguard rushed in and... saved me, he saved me so much, in short, as a result of the rescue operation, he pulled my legs so actively that he became the father of my first child, rustamchik, girls, sports are health, today i was rowing in

a boat, i even got blisters on my hands, i rowed for 2 hours, look, and they shout at me: "bila, are you on the boat push the water, something on the shore you row, oh, girls, but most of all i love yoga, girls, now i'll teach you everything, so, get up in the morning, no need to be early, at three or four o'clock, drink on an empty stomach, six glasses of apple cider vinegar, smear yourself all over with borsuchny ... fat we begin a set of exercises of tibetan monks, we begin with the simplest exercise: put your feet on your eyebrows, bury your nose in your navel, start massaging your tailbone with your tongue, then throw out

all the negative energy with the cry of shaulin monks: tu ... immediately for a run, for a long time no need to run, 25-30 km, but you need to run naked, so that the wind blows on the sahasrara, in winter the girls and i harden ourselves, we steam in the bathhouse, listen, we sit in... i swam in the snow, i fly back into the steam room, and we bathe in the snow, girls, i look at you one day, your face is not the same, it turned out to be a construction site, and the foreman tells me, nightmare,

slut, sheet, cover up, shaitan, naked, by the way, he is. the father of my second child, timur, that's it, girls, now food, girls, i don't eat fast food, carbohydrates, confectionery, meat, but my food very diverse, so listen, dried burdock, boiled burdock, salted burdock, soaked burdock, smoked burdock, acorns, ha, this will tell you now,

my guru, a hereditary indian yak, a purebred hindu, givi aftandilovich gagaberidze, he also eats these acorns by the kilogram. "girls, he recently showed me his lower chakra, girls, he has such a chakra there, my whole aura is sweating, in short, he became the father of my third child, laliko, valiko, let's not get distracted, by the way, girls, regarding flour, eat as much flour as you want,

in unlimited quantities, the only thing is that the flour should be made from dried acorns, it’s very healthy, you know, my soul is torn apart when i see someone eating improperly. well, look, i ’m walking along, yes, there’s one eating meat, oh, listen, he’s smacking his lips, his saliva is flying in all directions, i tell him: comrade, what are you doing, well , you need to eat right, you need to eat medicinal herbs, sprouted rice, and they tell me: woman, don’t go near the dog, it will bite you, oh, in general, girls, “i bring light into the world, and my husband says that i’m talking nonsense, by the way, he recently left me,

i can’t understand why he left, because i cared so much about his health, girls, he slept on bare boards, to improve it myself, i made him do breathing exercises, breathing exercises, 40 minutes breathing, 40 minutes not breathing, and after learning that when heat-treating products, vitamins are destroyed, i began to feed him only raw, raw beans, lentils, peas, immediately, immediately filled him with the energy of tsi, and the energy of tsi, girls, is responsible for a career, and you won’t believe it, you won’t believe it, before he sat at work, he had 20 people sitting around him, as soon as he started eating right, peas, lentils in... they immediately gave him a separate office, oh, girls, i still

remember my husband's words when he left, he says: you fool, at least take off the sticks in bed, what i want to say, breathes with him, that he left me, girls, how could he leave his own children, only timurochka and voleifas, i can't understand this, girls, you understand, unfortunately, in our society, they are not yet ready for a healthy lifestyle, here i am, because of a healthy lifestyle kicked out of work, that's what kicked out, i can't understand, you understand, i came to work, i came to work normally, i'm sitting at work, so calmly, my feet are in a basin with turpentine, on my face a compress of...

a court hearing, oh, girls, what i want to say, choose a healthy lifestyle, not everyone is ready here, but this is so wonderful, look, here on our palms we have acupuncture points... and if you hit your palms against each other,

the body is rejuvenated. let's rejuvenate. fitness, fitness, fitness, yoga, yoga, yoga, of course, there are a lot of cockroaches in my head, i used to be plump because i ate everything, but now i only put healthy food in my mouth. i eat chestnuts, pine cones, horseradish, and fly agarics, well, my soul is sad, i want it so much, a bowl, meat, meat, meat, bones, two sausages, i stole yesterday, from a dog bowl, i've cooled down, i'm bored in nirvana, i want tykily, to guzzle in a restaurant, but i'll say, it doesn't

matter what we ate, drank, the main thing is that everyone was happy.

you know, meticulous statistics calculated, it turns out, jokes about sports are five times less than about the mother-in-law, yes, yes, i'm just amazed by our comedians, you don't even have to invent anything, in real life so many funny things happen in sports, just take and retell, yes, you're absolutely right, well , boxer mike tyson once in a semi-wrestling about...

jokingly advised biathletes to train in the siberian forest, because wolves do not forgive mistakes in shooting in running too, yes-yes-yes, he did it without saying a word, a subtle connoisseur of humor on stage, yuri oskarov, we meet, a guy all

of himself comes up to a girl and says: girl, were you expecting a prince on a white horse? she says: well, he says: well, here i am? she says: cool, where's the prince? there's a big problem with princes, there are a lot of princesses, a full auditorium, but i want to say, there are princes, we, here they are, we are men, and we want women to pay attention to us too, we want to look good, we take care of our hair, how we dress, we also want to be liked by you, dear women. imagine a man who came to the hairdresser to get his hair done before date with a girl, good afternoon, sit down,

what kind of temples do you have, slanted or straight? te ouvi dizer que sim aqui no meu jardim, well, so to you, if a man is bald, i need a comb. always a chic hairstyle, if a man is bald, why does he need it, we men often suffer from the fact that there is no vegetation on our heads, well, we must admit it,

imagine a man who came to a salon for a hair transplant or a hair graft, and what came of it? one love, my, we met, and what, everything is for you, dawns fogs for you, you know, i i was in the village at my grandmother's, there was nothing to do, i decided to go to the bathhouse, a real village bathhouse. you can also show off in the bathhouse, how it happens, i'll show you now.

a guy came to an expensive boutique to pick out a suit before a date with a girl. hello, can i help you, this is an exclusive collection, only world

stars wear these suits, will you take them? socks, thank you, you love your wife, you loved, then i'll erase everything like an eraser, premiere on rtr, you have a conscience, my ideal. what is ideal where in the beds of nymphets? the most cruel loneliness is heartfelt loneliness, and is there happiness in this life? rain at the end of summer, from

monday on rtr. sale, we offer you a universal photo. facade for a fence at a special price of only 6.95. with its help, you can easily and quickly transform your suburban area beyond recognition. fence, terrace, gazebo, will be updated in an instant without expensive repairs and painting, four bright beautiful colors to choose from. all you need to do is fix the photo facade in a way convenient for you. this is a ready-made solution. photo facade bright life suitable for any type of fence, wooden, stone or metal, if it gets dirty, just rinse it with water, beautiful, fast, convenient and easy, call and order a universal photo facade for a fence bright life at a special

sale price of only 6-95. just choose the right design and create a unique look for your suburban area. not enough pressure in the garden hose, tired of endlessly cleaning. do it yourself we present hydroblast from hammer smith, a fast, simple and very convenient gun for washing with high pressure, cordless, rechargeable and totally sleepy: wash your car, motorcycle or bike, wash your house, garden paths, driveway and more. the hydroblast uses the same technology as the bulky professional pressure washers and condenses it to fit this small but highly efficient 150w copper motor to create an incredible 50 bar of pressure. the powerful lithium-ion battery is enough for any task. hammer smith hydrob. is extremely

lightweight, very convenient and unrivaled universal, its scope of application is almost unlimited, wherever you take water from? hydroblast will transform it into a high-pressure jet. a bucket of water is all you need and you are ready to go or simply connect it to a garden hose and hydroblast instantly increases the water pressure up to ten times. no matter what water you use, the nanofilter cleans and filters it. hammersmith hydroblast is high-performance pressure cleaning without compromise, just call today to order the revolutionary hammer smith hydra blast with its highly efficient 150w motor, powerful lithium battery, 5m high pressure hose and high quality nanofilter, all this will be yours for an incredible 59.95, and if you order right now,

you will receive a shampoo container and a special spray nozzle for a larger coverage area as a gift, all this is absolutely free, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited. introducing comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. this stylish and durable footwear that will suit both men and women. the sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide... handles, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape, high instep or protruding bones, and the comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this incredible lightness in your feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material that allows air to pass through well allows the skin to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black universal gray and wide. size range from thirty-seventh

to forty-fifth size, please yourself with comfortable beautiful shoes now, call and order universal sneakers with velcro hartex for only 1495. good morning, dear comrades, listen to radio moya, we are starting a concert at the request of workers in the working reception. coming home from school, please your neighbors, to everyone who is waiting for new hits from vladimir matetsky, i answer, it's not evening yet, now is not the time for food, time for spiritual search, time passes, meanwhile they order olga to make tea, good evening, this is your music, your. letters your congratulations, here is a new

day on radio mayak, this is what the mayak says: cheated on you with some shrew, i hope you are not going to forgive your husband, why can't everything be like before, if you asked me, then i would seryozha all death, and what is this, and this is mine? when formulating your desires, do not forget about the details: love or work? i think that a real woman does not limits himself in desires, because the result can greatly surprise you, thank you for agreeing to meet, maybe we will move on to that, you have a gentleman, he is very witty, well-read, but there is one problem, vasa, lika, thank god you are here.

please forgive me, but i need your help, ex- wife, you say, yes, fell out of the blue, a wish map, the premiere is on saturday on rtr, as you know, athletes are terribly superstitious people, you knew about it, well, you knew, heard, yes, they believe in different signs, and this it's so funny, listen, for example, figure skaters, especially girls, are afraid to part with...

a football player, he read that messi in his youth, when he was just starting to play for the spanish barcelona, ​​remember, had such a sign: if you discreetly throw a potato into the opponent's goal, you will definitely score. listen, our football player, as he found out, there, what kind of potatoes he hasn't thrown into the opponent's goal, raw, in their skins, and even french fries, and then he shoots at the goal, everything misses, he says, lord, is it really impossible to grow normal potatoes in our country? poor guy, the artist who is about to come to the microphone doesn’t need any signs to be successful, his jokes are without any potatoes, they hit the mark. on

stage is svyatoslav yeshchenko, we meet. you won’t get bored in our lifetime, i’m sitting at home one day, i’m bored, i open the doorbell, two women are on the threshold, hello, we are the all-russian population census, i say, hello, can we come in, we’ll register you, well, how can i not let them in, i let them into the apartment, they are like government officials. on the sides , loop-loop, loop-loop, i ask, are you really from census, they say, yes, exactly, we have a pen and a notebook, i say, they were just telling on tv that you

all have the same jackets with inscriptions, one says, you men, you can walk around in the same outfits, but we... women, we can't afford that, i say, they also said that you come with tablets, i hear one, the other whispers, well, on the contrary, we usually leave with them, i don't show it, i say, don't worry, i just asked, we're just very gullible, how many times have we been deceived, the woman says, so there is no need to ask about nationality, so we will write down lokhianin. i ask, do you have many questions in general? they say, well , more than 40, wow, but in order not to burden you, we reduced them to two, you have already answered one, now another question, how much do you

earn? oh, i say, a lot, i get it from my wife and from my boss. judging by how often she goes to magnit-kosmetik, she keeps all her money there, one woman says to me, well, you are like that , and where does your wife keep her money? i say, well, a respectable man, you probably have some personal money, i say, why do i need it, why, i'm already... a happy person, i have everything, i have a wife, i have a mother-in-law, i have a mortgage, they all ask for it, the census taker says, okay, do you have any valuables in your apartment, i say, yes, just yesterday i

bought 20 packs, 20 packs of what, i say, as if you don't understand, yes, as if you don't understand, we? in russia, from time immemorial , an ancient custom, as soon as we find ourselves in a completely tough situation, we immediately buy buckwheat, buckwheat, that's right, we don't like it, saucepan, we're ruining it, there's still 10 packs left until the next tough situation, the woman says, well, what does buckwheat have to do with it, is there something more valuable, i say, what could be more valuable? peas or something? that's our emergency reserve. correspond says: let's ask directly: do you have gold? i say. not much, but we have it, where? i say, here, with a yellow toe. by the way, many people

ask me about it, women were surprised, she says: what, has anyone else been interested in you, besides us? i say, yes, they are always interested, today, for example, a phone call, hello, you are welcome to the dental center, we have a promotion: we extract the first tooth for free, so i wonder how they found out about my gold? the woman says: oh, the scoundrels, the swindlers! do you have more affordable gold? i say: yes, in the next room, we have an old family icon in a gilded frame, it helps against all evil spirits. if, for example, a person with evil thoughts comes to you, and you show him this icon, he immediately starts shaking, but i'll show it to you now. they say: no, no, no, no, no, don't bother us, we 'll probably go now, you don't really

have anything to rewrite, i say, you're not going anywhere until i treat you to some tea, they smiled slightly, he said, don't be afraid of your tea with peas, i said, well, why, as expected, with crackers, well, i led them into the kitchen, made them some tea, i asked: are you sure you don't have any more questions? they said: well, there is one, but you hardly use it, i said: what with? a bank card? i said: why do i use it? only this bank card bothers me it's annoying, you know, the women perked up, she says: why, why is it annoying, she says, yes, this card is a scam, haven't you noticed, for example, you go to an atm to withdraw, say, 500 rubles, it takes you. as if this atm contains the entire budget of the country, but

it only gives out one piece of paper, and the pin code also irritates me, i constantly forget it, and what is your pin code? the census taker asks, i say, what, my wife's birthday, do you forget to congratulate your wife on her birthday? i say, yes, what a horror, let us be for you remind me, just tell me your wife's date of birth and your card number, i say, i have it written down in my phone, but i don't remember where i put the phone, the census taker says, and you're mine, take it on yours , call, she gives me her iphone, i dial the numbers i hear a signal somewhere nearby, they say, it's in your pocket, call, only the call is somehow strange, as if you didn't call, but sent an sms, then i realized that it was time to crack, i

say: yes, dear ones, i just put 2,000 on my account from your phone, they are like jumped up, oh you scoundrel, oh you swindler, and i say this, my dears, so that in the future you think about who to rewrite for what reason, you see, show them gold, name your wife's birthday, "now you 'll be gnawing peas without tea, i 'll cook buckwheat now, i'll make you scrub in a saucepan, what are you staring at, get lost, or give you a pin code, for speed, they are so impudent, they say: "we're not going anywhere until you give us back the money, i say, please, stay, in 5 minutes the sleeping pill will take effect and i'll calmly hand you over to the police." a... running away from the apartment, i shout after them: "run faster, i

mixed sleeping pills with a laxative." well, they ran away, and i stand there, so pleased, and what, the bill is 2.0 rubles, a new generation iphone in my hand, well , who of us is a loser? "that's how i earn extra money, yes, soon they should come from a legitimate company, to change the seals on the windows, they didn't come to you, yes, and my neighbors here the other day sealed the window for 27 thousand rubles, i'll go get ready, i want six five-thousandths on a color printer. print, can you imagine, i give them 30 thousand rubles, and they give me three from the dacha, but

real ones. hello, sergey selin, the documents have been prepared, yuri kuznetsov, alexander polovtsev, vanya, we have a psychic, everything is exactly as we saw them, perhaps a crime, the case has not yet been solved. vokone, call him to me urgently, it is very difficult, we are already looking at the website in the application.

gin snop is a product of stellar group. allow yourself a first-class vacation with liorets. elegant details. a holiday of exquisite tastes, a variety of entertainment, a golden beach and azure waves. lio rezards, we are here for you. bourbon stirsmanн is a product of stellar

group. we invite you to the swissotel sharmel sheikh, the first swissotel in the world. working on the all-inclusive system. treat yourself to a vacation where elegance and natural beauty merge into perfect harmony. create memories that will remain forever in your heart. swissotel sharmel sheikh is your ideal place in the heart of the city. vodka veda is a product of stellor group. i want to get burned more, it's time for big premieres on rtr, how good that you called, she has a daughter, maybe the daughter is from me, i want become a real father to her, as you realized in time, and igor borisovich is at home, at home, but he is sleeping, the night was sleepless, i don't want to have anything in common with you, go away, at home with

the dog, a new trail, soon on rtr. tv channel russia presents. dear friends, my name is maria sittel, i am the author and host of the new large-scale documentary project family of families on the tv channel russia. all families of russia are invited to participate in our new project, everyone who is ready to share their unique story with us. family of families - a new project by maria sittel for each of us, for all of russia. to take part in the project, fill out the form. on the website smotrim.ru, send, fill out the forms, we are waiting with impatience. we are giving karina an exclusive three-week tour of south america, happy birthday. i don't understand anything. what's going on here? why did you

come, what did i find in your office with a piece of paper. a divorce decree, what kind of stupid joke is this? this is not a joke, this is your new reality, it was erased from your own life, now we have nothing, no car, no at home, i don't have a business or a husband, so it's time to build a new one, tell me , are you seriously deciding to start from scratch, i want to prove that it's impossible to drown me, the stable is burning, oh my god, what's the matter, how is that possible? and andrey, where, where is andrey, mom, karina, i 'll start all over again on saturday, on rtr, you know, karen, it's really funny when people come to sports with their habits from everyday life, we had a case, excuse me, lina, who do we have karen, well, i'm

a master of sports in swimming, didn't you know, well in short, listen to the story. we are standing ready to jump into the water, on the next pedestal there is a new swimmer, well, for the first time at a competition, imagine, the referee bangs the starting pistol, and the girl... it turns out, she has been serving in the police all her life, arena, she has a reflex to a shot, in a second the referee flies in one direction, the pistol in another, we barely dragged it away, yes, and it happens the other way around, well, in sports you pick up different habits and drag them into everyday life, here is my friend, he did dudo, and there is such a tradition there, before going out on the carpet they take off their shoes, listen, well, beautiful habit, otherwise straight from the street men always come. stomp in boots, well, he still out of habit from dudo, bows to the owner on the train, even better karen, very intelligent, yeah,

very intelligent, but the next second out of habit he throws the owner over his hip with a sweep, what do you say to that? karen, i'll say, what a blessing that the artist who will now appear on stage in his youth chose chess out of all the sports. and what bad habits are there in chess? there are none, they don't even swear, they only threaten with obscenities, but say, apparently, lacks the courage, scene alexey shcheglov, we meet, it is generally accepted that women have a much harder life than men. comes home, the apartment is not cleaned, the dishes are not washed, the food is not cooked, oh, just think, how hard it is for us men, you come home, the tv

is not watched, the internet is not sat on, the sofa is not laid down, in general, what is there to talk about it, it is better to sing about it, we sing about our hard male lot. it is very difficult for a man to live, if only he is married, because the wife will find a reason for financial expenses, dresses, skirts, blouses, clothes, all the closets are already full, well, and to be a sneaker, she especially needs, epilation, sugaring, nails, botox manicure, mask, lifting and solarium, eyebrows, yoga, pedicure, cleaning, peeling and pilates, silicone, contrast shower, and from a loving wife the husband hears every day, give-give-give, give

, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, i was doing repairs at the dacha, i set the task of working as a migrant worker, they did not know our language, but they nodded, which means they understood exactly, and somewhere after 2 weeks i came to check the repairs, i said migrant worker, oh my god, why are all the windows narrow, the toilet instead of a chandelier, and the jacuzzi is installed in the hallway, and they answer me to all this, ahu, aha, ahe, aharahurahu , aharahura, ahu, aha, ahe, aharahura.

i was the most diligent student at school, to the envy of many i solved problems. i read two hundred books, studied lessons, every day only a's, i got all 10 years, what was the secret, passwords, passwords, passwords, for twos, for threes, passwords... passwords and screams and pain, passwords, passwords, passwords, passwords, passwords, passwords,

passwords, passwords, but i passed the unified state exam, aquarius, by st. petersburg, otverskaya. zamskoy will arrive , my dear, and in a lexus, she is driving to put on makeup, her lips are scarlet, oh, yes, she is also pointing at the phone with her finger, i am sitting next to her, her eyes are bulging, oh, and i am saying to my dear affectionately, oh, oh, oh, oh, where are you rushing to, and in the oncoming lane,

and at a red light, oh-oh, oh-oh, brake quickly, and you have two inspectors on the hood, oh-oh, oh, oh, that's a tree, an old woman is walking on the left, there is a pole on the right, hey, hey, hey, hey, tornosi, sheep, have pity on me, my dear, hey, how can we not have fun, not be sad, from different troubles, a wonderful neighbor has settled in our house, he has been fooling all the neighbors for several years now, the neighbors' kids quietly say to him, pap, pap, paparapa, pa, paparapa, pa-parapa, pap, pa-para-pa-pap , pap, pa-para-pa-pap, pap, pa, and in our

yard there is one girl, she doesn't know how to park at all, she hasn't even dented the hood or the fender, i shout after her, and she replies, what? i bought a ticket to a resort, it costs only a thousand, everything is included, and there is even a sea nearby, though the sea is barents sea, again. meten,

snow piled up, to my bed, another bummer, i swim in an ice hole with a walrus, i drink all day, i. a reindeer runs around like a wind-up animal, my wife natasha and i filed for divorce, and we began to divide everything that had been acquired, a summer house with an apartment, and a garage with a car, everything went to my wife, well, what did i get? and a piece

of sausage, alimony, nails and a saw, and while i was popping my eyes, my mother-in-law ate all the sausage, how can it be, not much happens in life, then a bummer never ends, then problems in ... business, but there is no need to be sad, all issues are resolved, after all, the planet rotates on men's, on shoulders, and i leave clear days to myself, and i return the gloomy days to fate, to be a man, you need intelligence and strength, well , what to do? says the wife,

oh, karen, you know, experienced comedians know that in order for people to laugh at your jokes, and not at you, first you need to clearly imagine what ... you are going to joke about, yes, my friend the comedian, before writing about bribe-taking bosses, tried to imagine himself in the place of such a grabber, yes, what are you saying, asked his wife, yeah. come into the office, as if she were a visitor, sat down in a chair, closed his eyes, well and what, i imagined, i couldn't speak, but if she had given me a bribe, then it would be a different matter, oh, karen, my friend the comedian decided

to joke about sports, went to the stadium for impressions, sat among the cska fans, fought with the spartak players, threw flares onto the field, i ask him backstage, well, are you going to perform today? and he says to me: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, our beloved gennady vetrov is performing , let's meet! hello, friends, today i want to offer you a miniature, which is called a joke story. this story really happened to me, it is based on classic jokes, on the other hand. no, at one time one of the brothers said a good phrase: a joke, if it is cool, even if it is bearded, it becomes even better with time, like a well -aged cognac, a fox walks through the forest, such a mood, in the bushes, cock-a-doodle-doo, she,

wow, calls for dinner, calls himself, she in the bushes there in the bushes blinkers, fuss, bustle, the wolf comes out happy, buttoned up, how good is it to know foreign languages? my good friends invited me fishing, and i am not a fisherman, i've never really been fishing, i happily agreed, but when i found out that out of all the fishing gear they took only three boxes of vodka, i somehow got tense, they said: okay, gen, let's go, you know, a river, fish soup, you know, stories around the campfire, i said, what fish soup, you didn't even take fishing rods, you didn't take fishing rods, but we did take fish, you know, and you're responsible for the stories and sanya is a helicopter, i said, who the hell is that? the former director of karusel, he knows so many stories, you know, i went, honestly, and i didn't regret it, because first of all i met this sanya, he was a very distinguished character, but how can i describe to you what he looked like,

well, imagine if you take a shrimp, throw it in boiling water, take it out right away , salt it, you know, add pepper on top, and there are no teeth, neither upper nor lower, well, apparently, they were somewhere at work. with a carousel, he knew a lot of stories, he was a tale-teller, and so, when we met, by the way, he was almost fifty, and after fifty he immediately said, gennady, even if you are from tv, i will tell you anyway today i'm telling a joke, i say, well then you start, he understood, fishing, yes, the topic is fish, at a waterfall standing in the water two fish met, a big fish, a predatory one, you know, with meter-long swimmers, such... aggressive and a small fish, small but active, the big fish, looking at the small one, the big fish devour the small ones, the small one didn't take her eyes off, says: yes, but where will we find them?

i answered him - with a story, catching on the word small: a little girl is sitting in a sandbox, digging sand, there are no toys, she's just digging sand, having fun, enjoying life, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, digging, her name is tanya, 35 years old. that's it, he says: i'll answer you, a man runs home after work, says to his wife: lyuda, open our bar, take some money, buy more food, i'm inviting our entire five-story building to a banquet today, she says: "kolya, did you get promoted at work or something? tell me, i'll be happy too, he says: lyuda, i was fired from work, right now, and are you an idiot? the others were jailed, i go "well, firstly, the story is sad, secondly, it's old, and i'll tell you i suggest a short and dynamic one, a husband runs home after work, says to his wife, tanya, tanya, i cheated on you, she says, vitya, i cheated on you too, he says, april 1st

, she says july 3rd, he says, july 6th, kiss day, i say, how do you know, because i'm the only one who doesn't participate on this day, i have no teeth, i just suck you in completely, no one agrees, let's tell a joke, a guy went out to smoke, so the first floor window is open, he smokes and hears voices there, one voice, and where are our lips, and where are our eyes, little ears, and navel, the second voice, i didn't understand, are we having sex or taking inventory, i'm talking about july 8th. family, love and fidelity day, the husband decided to test his wife's fidelity, he returns from a business trip 2 days early , opens the door with his own key, that means, bursts into the apartment onto the balcony. who, under the sofa, no one, into the kitchen,

no one, into the closet, no one, he looks at his wife so puzzledly, she looks back, so slyly, well, he says, vitya, you'll have to do it yourself, he says, i'll answer you, the woman lives alone, you have to do everything with yourself, well, well, she is one, but she has eight children, all boys, each named boris. i say, why all of a sudden? why? judge for yourself, boris, it’s a beautiful name, i say, but how does she tell them apart? it’s elementary, by their patronymics, i say, okay, i ’ll latch onto the word boris. boris, borisovich borisov, a grandfather, about 80 years old, comes to the doctor, says: son, you came to get a technical inspection, he says, something hurts, no, your wife sent you, she’s 25, i ’ll indulge any whim, go and get checked, i came, wow, what a difference, she’s 25, and you’re 80, he says:

don't be surprised, by the way, we 're expecting a little one, he's the father, sit down, rest, i'll tell you a story for now, i have a friend, he's a hunter, he hasn't missed a single season, so he and the guys went hunting for wild boars, well, as is customary on a hunt, they drank in a tent, told stories, hunt tomorrow, think we'll sober up and then one guy runs in and also says about the tent: guys, the wild boars found out that we're the first to attack here, so a wedge of wild boars is just heading towards the tent, they say: calm down, all the guys are experienced, he grabs a gun, jumps out, that means, from the tent, and my friend, he says, drank more than everyone else, so he grabbed an umbrella and ran out with the umbrella, and by the irony of fate , a boar, the main one, was rushing at him, digging the ground, the old man says: so what, so what, so what, it's nothing, he's an experienced hunter, he threw down the umbrella, took aim, pressed the button, the old man... says: so what, so what, the boar

is dead, the old man says, yes, yes, well that can't be, the doctor says, so that's what i'm talking about, old man, you know, after this story, sanya, having already fulfilled his quota, smoothly tried to go to nirvana, but before that he said, gen, maybe friendship won our competition, i say, well, let it be so, he says, let me kiss you, i say, no , not today, sanya. he fell on the grass and fell asleep, and we, the guys, sat by the fire for a long time, the mood, you see, was great, we poisoned the stories, and you know, i realized for myself that the fishing turned out to be luxurious, i remembered the classic phrase of antoine dessiaperi, the greatest luxury in life is the luxury of human communication, and you know, today we are communicating with you like this directly, without any gadgets, and it's great, right?

who are we, where are we going, what kind of country are we, what is valuable to us, we have not changed, a russian person remains a russian person, they are not afraid of anything, of course, there is something inside, such a chill, anything can happen, i will not retreat from anything, i will still be there. this is my life, my destiny, life and destiny, from

monday to friday on rtr, i love you, and i love you, we are sitting well, let's run, let's run, the premiere is on rtr, you are so reliable, not petruvsha, he called someone again, well , don't be silent, please, my name is mikhail. "i know, we talked with you, you did not spend the night at home, there is something i don't know, can i finally confess, i love him, you know, i love him, and i can't do anything about it, you know, i love him, the bonds of marriage or the web of love, which will be stronger, i just ask without emotions, what do you mean without emotions, you won't give up on me, will you? " "i won't stand it, take your pick, rain at

the end of summer, from monday on rtr. bright sunlight bothers you, are you afraid of harmful ultraviolet radiation, bright sunlight blinds you while driving, then you need sunglasses that filter out bright sunlight while ensuring vivid colors, perfect contrast and clear vision. we present hd polaris, 100% polarized sunglasses. for a perfect view, equipped with original polarization technology to protect your eyes and vision. regular sunglasses only obscure your view, but hd polaris offers clarity, vivid colors and perfect contrast. almost every surface reflects bright sunlight, which is irritating and strains your eyes.

special polarization technology, filters out reflections and ensures a clear view, helping you while driving. walking and cycling. today you will get your polarized sunglasses at an incredible price, only 39.95. but wait, today we are adding a second hd polaris in a cool brown frame for free, and the price remains the same, only 39.95. you save almost 40 euros. but attention, an absolute sensation. if you call right now, you will get a third hd polaris, also absolutely free. today only you will get three original hd polaris for the price of one. convenient case microfiber cloth, and the price will remain the same, only 39.95. and you already save

almost 80 euros. enjoy clear , high-contrast vision without glare. attention! the offer is strictly limited. introducing comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. these are stylish and durable shoes that will suit both men and women. the sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro, sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape, high instep or protruding bones, and a comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this incredible lightness in your feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material that allows air to pass through well, allowing the skin to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black universal gray and a wide

range of sizes from thirty-seven to forty size 5. treat yourself to comfortable , beautiful shoes right now. call and order universal sneakers. introducing the drimalina cvon pillow, a comfortable pillow for rest that embraces your entire body and optimally aligns it so that you experience the best sleep of your life. the unique shape of the drimalina cvon pillow offers seven comfort zones that support your back, shoulders, head and neck, arms, hips, knees, ankles and feet. you remain in the most comfortable sleeping position without tossing and turning. keeps your spine in ideal position. call and order the unique pillow dremalinost for your best sleep for an incredible 5995. but wait, if you call right now, then especially for you we will reduce the price, the pillow

dremalinina swan will be yours for an incredible 3995 and you will immediately save 20 euros. but hurry up in the offer. is limited and is valid for a short period of time, and then we will see each other less often, i will still be married, i forgot my phone in a cafe, on friday, hello, and where did you get the phone, i am sveta's fiancé, if i could help you somehow, come with me, i'll say that you are my bride, if the bride has disappeared somewhere, you can always find a bride for an hour. "i don't fit into this stupid dress, i don't fit, some brand model, but it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit, what are you doing, taking this country bumpkin to your relatives, are you completely crazy, i will not allow gleba to marry this little thing, i think everything can still be fixed,

a reward awaits the finder, on friday on rtr. hello, dear friends, your favorite program 60 minutes is on air. vladimir vladimirovich, let's talk about everything. no hurry deploy nuclear weapons, i have already demanded, give me back the nuclear weapons, you will be on readiness number one, what kind of image of victories will he destroy the gang in his head with zelensky, yany is a rag, see you, yes, of course, sport gives a lot to a person, for example, it adds to me, no, not health, funny stories to my humorous piggy bank, there are plenty of them in sports,

i will never forget the women's boxing competition, when one of the participants punched the referee because he loudly said in a loud voice to the whole stadium what her weight was, between us, i am sure that karen too... also goes to the gym not for biceps, but for funny stories, he has thousands of them, and not only about sports, today he will share them with us, meet the irresistible, invincible, athletic, handsome, young man on stage. you know, dear friends, today i have such a spiritual need not only to amuse

you, tell funny stories, but to say a toast, a toast for you, everyone who is in this room, because a toast is a message of good energy, toasts can be very different, they can even be in verse, for example, a composition of wishes always the same... more health and money, wonderful, let's do aprokidon for the health of ours, our arms and legs have become cold, isn't it time for us, to have a drink, my god, what a wonderful word, to have a drink, i 'll tell you, no other language has so many synonyms for the word to drink, let's remember , to have a drink already, to quack, to gulp. how to have a drink, it feels like only

professionals have gathered here, one guy comes, in short, a doctor, a doctor, he says, you know, my liver hurts, the doctor says, well, probably, a drinker, he says, offend me, doctor, what kind of a drinker am i, i'm a professional, well, there are toasts, even short ones, remember, the master of such short toasts was the wonderful actor alexei ivanovich buldakov, well, for nature, well , for a woman, well, for friendship, and there is an even shorter toast of one word, who remembers, we will, well done, we will, one african, got into the company of our compatriots, after the fifth we will, he said indistinctly: probably, this we will, a very respected person, but i

can't drink to him anymore, you know, i'll tell you moreover, i will say, in the caucasus, the toastmaster is the host of the celebration, because he not only knows how to conduct the evening well, but also knows the sequence of toasts and of course the customs, but... sometimes there are also some blunders, for example, once in one high-mountain village, the toastmaster was given a microphone like mine, a headset, he says dissatisfied: listen, genad svoly, dear, please remove this microphone, it is pressing on my ear, they say, that's great, the microphone is here, you can talk with your hands, he says, no, on the contrary, i don't know my hands, what can i do, give me a microphone, i 'll speak like this, for example, hello! dear friends, then thank you very much, dear friends, give me a normal microphone, they say: there is no normal one, another handheld one,

take a glass, pretend that you are speaking into the glass, and here everything works, everything is connected, well, he says, now we'll check 1 2 3 o 1 2 3 1 2 eh, dear guests, today is the wedding of our givi. and his charming, unique beauty of a wife, he closes the glass with his palms, listen, what is the name of this ugly woman, have you forgotten her name? no, these are the kind of mistakes that happen when the host is poorly prepared. i witnessed a time when the toastmaster once announced to the entire hall. so, meet the bride and groom, sergey and natalya. one of the guests corrects him. arkady, arkady. oh, you saved him. our dear

newlyweds, sergey and arkady! today you can find a toast on any topic on the internet, the main thing is not to mix anything up. one man drank so much that he came out with a microphone and said: "dear guests, i want to drink to all the kindest, most honest, decent people, in short, in a word, to all those who are not in in this hall. he was almost killed, well, and the most important thing, of course, must be able to react quickly to any situation, once one host was reprimanded, you know, he says, you are already saying the tenth toast, and we haven’t drunk to the women yet, do you want us to forget about them? well, the toastmaster was saved by his ingenuity, he says, you know, in general, it is customary in

normal places, to drink to women not earlier. remark, he says, closer, he says, yes, thank you, we have become like close relatives, give it to him there, even closer, well, where else can you get closer, listen, hold the microphone closer, i can't hear anything, but i think you can hear me very well today, i want to say my toast, a toast for those who are in this room today, for

those who are on the other side of the television screen, for all those who love watching the humor parade program, to wish you health, kindness and family well-being, dear guests, dear friends, we can't do without a toast this evening, there has been a tradition like this for many years, if there is wine in the glass, then there is also... but with a big heart i want to wish you, friends, that everything would be good, that we would always gather only for joy, that our relatives would be nearby

and of course the toastmaster. without throwing words to the wind, i want to wish you, let the sun shine in the sky, there will be peace and grace, that from now on not a single indian would be in anything for you, and i understand all your relatives, karen avanesyan. oh, you know, haren, in sports there are situations when everyone around laughs, but the athlete himself is not in the mood for laughter,

for example, in surfing, it is on a board on the waves, yes, the athlete was preparing for... the world championship, and once during training he made friends in the ocean with a dolphin, can you imagine, it’s really cool, listen, they say they’re so smart, oh, this athlete now seriously doubts it, can you imagine, he goes to the start, throws himself on his board, there he is already ahead, he has overtaken everyone , no one can catch up with him, well, well and then, well, well, so what, well, this dolphin emerges, quacks something in his own way, like, hey, you, are you stupid to swim in such weather, look at the waves, no, i’m your friend, i won’t abandon you, i will save you, and with his nose back, back to shore, can you imagine, the audience was just dying of laughter. "my friends and i went to the forest to play football in the clearing, well, i went one-on -one, hit and the ball flew just above the goal straight to the tree, on the tree a crow, like you, not

krylov, grabbed the ball and does not give it , she probably decided that it was cheese, probably, yes, and now it tastes like a football, oh, i can imagine how the audience laughed, about the same way they laugh when valentina korki and viktor ostroukhov perform. they greet me in my garden with acypatsy, petrovna, that are you deaf or something, petrovna? ​​are you deaf, i 'm telling you? who are you picking at, in my garden, you said, your chickens are still sighing in their eggs, i said here, i don't hide anything from anyone, like some people, what am i hiding from you, what don't i tell you, oh, you're out of

curiosity, you'll tear yourself apart, we won't wash the village clean, and why didn't you say then that you bought a new wardrobe, why is it such a big thing, clean the house, you'll find it, what are you talking about, petrovna, what wardrobe, they even wrote "mother-in-law-lover" in our wardrobe, kostya and fedya, why change it, it's your mother-in-law's last memory of youth, and why did you have five men dragged into the house today, i calculated and calculated and calculated, a calculator was found, and now such a man has gone, you need ten of them per kilogram, okay. i'll tell you this, i 'll tell you, we bought a bathtub with this and zincoite, a new one, oh, embolized, like a saucepan, with

handles, well, you yourself with handles, in streaks, and what streaks, i'm telling you, new, embolized, in fact, in such a big vessel, are you going to cook jellied meat or something, listen, are you crazy, well, it's too heavy for me, how can't you to be so dense, and i 'll wash myself in the bathroom, all there is only fish soup, well, it's clear that there is, that in fact the dishes are so big and new, imbolized, and you'll trample with your feet completely different, i'll study the trough, what trough, well, what are you talking about, the 21st century is a trough in the yard, then, we don't fit into it anymore, oh, he'll sit in it like a zink. so then we'll search for the trough all day, well, i'm a bathhouse, but i don't want to go to the bathhouse, well, i don't want to go to the bathhouse, you know, you saw on tv how

they drive out toxins in the bathhouse, well, well, they don't give us anything they'll kick you out, we're local, you 're completely clueless, and oh godmother, waste is excess weight, who cares, who cares, who does my weight bother, and what is it? you're comparing, and those are organs, and that's your fat, those are organs, what yes, you think, that's your stomach, well that's your liver, in the front, what's dangling, those are your lungs, your lungs. what's digging up in the back, those are your kidneys, only healthy ones, great, to talk to you, you need to eat a ton of peas in the bath, the peas will destroy the whole bath, it's better

to have a name there, you can use a brick on one heel to tear, listen, petrovna, you and your grisha can go to the river or anywhere, even if you're going to tear yourself with your bricks, but i want to wash myself in the bathroom, i'm dragging a full bathtub, i'll sit down, there's foam on top, you're the one with the foam, what's the matter with me, how can i carry so much water , the foam will start pouring out, oh, you're dense, i'm sitting next to zink, well, if zhdinka sits down , you don't need much water, she'll sit down and spill everything, oh, denseness, oh, i 'll put candles around it, what are you doing, what are you doing? then this, write me your wardrobe, and leave me alone with your wardrobe, you're pestering me, and i'll fill two glasses with zinka.

you know what borscht, why borscht, well, how about you splash everything out, then you won't be able to get out of the bath, what are you talking about, we 'll pour champagne in there, you understand, champagne, why is that, and so that it would be cultured, so that the bubbles would hit your nose, and why bring a product for this, you said that you'd eat your fill of peas, eight bottles, so that your nose would be full, and i want... champagne, well, indulge, indulge, i'll turn on the music with groans, why is that, well petrovna, completely away from life at the table, well this is petrovna, moaning for intimacy, for intimacy, here is your grishka, at night you make some sounds, well it makes, and with a mayazinka... we will, so

what with dinka at night or what gathers to music? well you are dozing, and this is a bath, well this is culture, you understand, culture, just imagine, i am like in a movie, i take out my leg and put it on my shoulder, how about stepanovich, so you turn around, and what is this, how you throw your leg on your shoulder, and yes i will zinken my leg, i will zinken, it is better to have my legs zinki on my shoulder this is the most throw u... one heel like a frying pan, why are you ruining all my romance? what kind of romance, what kind of romance, dive under the zinke, you yourself will drown, that the fruits will be transferred, well, why will they be transferred, well, why will i be transferred, then we will wash in this soapy water, so that the soapy water does not go to waste, then we will wash the children in it, wash the floors, and then we will wash the mother-in-law, well , spoil us, spoil us, and then, "we

will wash the tractor in this soapy water, listen, really, it's a profitable thing, well, that's what i'm saying, it's even better than in the chef, well, i 'm telling you, and you, listen, stepanovich, let me in there, right now, yeah, right now, run away, zinka's legs aren't enough for me, you'll still trudge in your boots to the new, embellished one, together all our lives, and what do we have in common, so what should my children call you daddy for this,

well, why are you pestering me in the end, i'm just surprised how a good life changes people, and i haven't even had time to wash off the manure from my bathtub, and i've already become proud, proud, what manure, why are you being so sweet, vanna, this is culture, you know, culture, cultures, yesterday grisha brought culture to me all evening, until they cut off the electricity in the village, and so what? and even then, he had already climbed onto the bed, sawed off all his legs with scissors, why, i thought, was he cutting his nails. oh, i need it, okay, you won't let me in and that's okay, i have this shower in the barn, well , don't lie, the dog is lying, no, it will be like this, i 'll put grisha on the roof with a colander, he 'll pour water on him and stand, and i 'll take a shower, morning and evening, morning and evening, until the bastard buys me a bath, got it, yeah got it, got it, okay, okay, petrovno, i give up, come on, call your brood for a wash.

let's get acquainted, agata denisana. time for big premieres on rtr. an ill-considered decision can lead. plays chess, better than any grandmaster. calculates moves in advance check. and i have prepared a gift for you. oh, my favorite figurine. raises a dog, better than any dog ​​handler. let's do it again, home and now we'll go, solves crimes better than anyone. it turns out that we have one

criminal, a killer for two cases, a lady with a dog, a new trail, and i'm always right. soon on rtr. hello on the rossiya vesti tv channel. irina rossius is in the studio and the main topics for this hour. "the ukrainian armed forces attacked the village of raketnye in the belgorod region, five people were killed, in the border areas of kursk, our fighters are pushing out the enemy, alligators destroyed armored vehicles in iisu, artillery worked on the transit camp of ukrainian militants.

pavel durov was detained in france, he faces up to 20 years."