how big is that [bleep] jet?nt is, for a campaign based on honesty and decency, the spin about the debate appears to be blatant bullshit. and the redemption tour hasn't gone that much better. whether it's been on the radio... >> i'm proud to be -- as i said, the first vice president -- first black woman, served with a black president. [laughter] >> jon: y--yaass, queen? [cheers and applause] or whether the president is on prompter and fired up! >> let me say as clear as i can, i'm staying in the race! [cheers and applause] i will beat donald trump. i will beat him again in 2020. >> jon: i got to tell you, somehow, confusion with confidence is even more unsettling. or when the president sat down with george stephanapolous to prove once and for all how cogent he is and to film a bronzer ad. orange man good? none of this was reassuring! and we're told that the threat of trump is so great and the stakes are so high that even bringing up these absolutely legitimate concerns about the president's ability to do the most

one, two, three -- [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ bleep ]. i hesitated, hurt my arm. hurt my shoulder, holy [ bleep ]. i hesitated, and i slipped. >> jimmy: you cannot hesitate or you will slip. i've said it a million times. [ laughter ] the olympics have really slipped this year, haven't they? [ laughter ] i have a feeling we may see a repeat of that at the debate next week. president biden and former president trump are gearing up for their first debate of the year a week from tonight in atlanta. biden has secluded himself at camp david, where he is preparing for the bout like rocky balboa getting ready for golf clubber lang. [ laughter ] trump is hard at work right now deciding whether to go with the scented aqua net or unscented. [ laughter ] despite skipping every other debate, trump reportedly can't wait to attack joe biden. it's the most he's ever hated someone he wasn't married to. [ laughter ] according to maggie haberman of "the new york times," said trump knows that he interrupted too much in their last debate, so his game plan for this one is to not do tha

but he's [ bleep ]. it's [ bleep ]. all right?heers and applause ] didn't sound right at all, that's not right at all. but i do cherish you. i cheshish him. [ bleep ]. exactly, exactly. it's just my -- as if it was my own. i want to say this about our friendship. i have a lot to say about it, but why say it -- when i can sing it? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you for being a friend ♪ ♪ traveled down the road and back again ♪ ♪ your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant ♪ ♪ i'm not ashamed to say come on ♪ ♪ i hope it always stays this way ♪ ♪ my hat is off won't you stand up and take a bow ♪ ♪ and if you threw a party invite everyone you knew ♪ ♪ well you would see the biggest gift would be from me ♪ ♪ and the card attached would say ♪ ♪ thank you for being a friend ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> ryan: thanks. wow. >> hugh: we have a great show for you tonight. my friend ryan reynolds is here. >> ryan: my friend hugh jackman is here. right there! [ cheers and applause ] >> hugh: plus emma corrin and music from orville peck

[ bleep ] and i look back, [ bleep ] and she's like, ah, [ bleep ]. >> lamorne: my mom the other day daughter said something in front of my mother. >> yes. >> lamorne: and it sounded like it was -- she was swearing. my mom said, oh, what other swear words do you know and my daughter listed off a few things. she said, she said, i know knucklehead. i know knock it off. and i know [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] that was a -- oh. and she had her hip on the whole time. like let's tick off the things i should know. >> i was funny sitting there, damn your kid knows terrible curses. i got to hook her up. knucklehead. that ain't a curse. >> lamorne: it's not. >> knucklehead. you can do better than that, girl. you ain't going to make nobody cry at school calling them a damn knucklehead. >> lamorne: i think i live right around the corner from you. >> good. see, the thing is i just got robbed. >> lamorne: i don't know nothing about it. >> i just got robbed and, see, what they don't know about me is, i ain't got [ bleep ]. they're like, you come to my house and only thing expensive is the house. flat br

[ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] gaetz and mccarthy are feuding over who's more of an assover there just saying, "hey, man, as long as i got my frosty paws and my chew toy, none of this [ bleep ] matters to me." [ laughter and applause ] republicans can paper over the reality of their party and agenda all they want. there's no doubt they're currently riding high in the polls. but the reality of the modern gop is much darker and much weirder. they're the party of matt gaetz, kevin mccarthy, mike johnson, rudy giuliani. and they're all in a cult of personality blindly mimicking one aspiring autocrat. they're all just donald trump's -- >> little buddy. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] look." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ otherwise the flakes will come back. he's right, you know. is that tiny troy? the ingredients in head & shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. we'll be right back with i love tiny troy. and his tiny gorgeous hair. make every wash count! and for stubborn dandruff, try head & shoulders clinical strength. ta

[ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] gaetz and mccarthy are feuding over who's more of an assbydog's over there just saying, "hey, man, as long as i got my frosty paws and my chew toy, none of this [ bleep ] matters to me." [ laughter and applause ] republicans can paper over the reality of their party and agenda all they want. there's no doubt they're currently riding high in the polls. but the reality of the modern gop is much darker and much weirder. they're the party of matt gaetz, kevin mccarthy, mike johnson, rudy giuliani. and they're all in a cult of personality blindly mimicking one aspiring autocrat. they're all just donald trump's -- >> little buddy. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we'll be right back with michael cera, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ that colonoscopy for getting screened ♪ ♪ is why i'm delaying ♪ ♪ i heard i had a choice ♪ ♪ i know the name, that's what i'm saying ♪ -cologuard®? -cologuard. cologuar

oh [ bleep ].o lie to you, i'm a little high right now. [ bleep ]. ♪ lamorne you know ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> lamorne: we've got a fun show for you tonight. billy magnussen is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from aaron frazer. and we'll be right back with zachary levi. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lamorne: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm lamorne morris. tonight, his new movie is called "coup." billy magnussen is with us. [ cheers and applause ] right? then later, a multi-talented artist. this is his album called "into the blue," music from aaron frazer. [ cheers and applause ] i'll be off tomorrow night, but i'm leaving the show in the superpowered hands of none other than deadpool and wolverine. that's right. hugh jackman and ryan reynolds will be cohosting for one night only. [ cheers and applause ] so make sure you don't miss that. you know our first guest from five seasons of "chuck" and two "shazam" movies, now he goes where no man has gone before to play with crayons

]. [ laughter ] >> [ bleep ].t that [ bleep ] scarecrow bounce, bro. [ laughter ] throw up a [ bleep ] pic of ray bolger. [ ding ] [ laughter ] what are you taking about, you mean that in the best possible way? >> i do! i thought ray bolger -- >> seth: the best possible way is 3 out of 10. the best possible -- [ bleep ] ray bolger -- all right, we ask everyone. oprah or beyonce? >> beyonce. sorry. >> seth: great, you're the first person who's given me an answer. >> oh, no one answers it? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] everybody's too scared, and you did it. are you scared now? >> terrified. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, ready? it's a lightning round. i'm going to ask you a question. you either have to answer jerry seinfeld or larry david. >> go. >> seth: who would you want to go to prom with? >> is there a third choice? >> seth: no. [ laughter ] >> uh, larry. >> seth: really? okay, great. who would -- would you most want to pick out an outfit you had to wear to the emmys? >> jerry. >> seth: fascinating. >> yes. >>

ah, [ bleep ] my life. [ laughter ] [ bleep ] this. [ bleep ] off. >> no, not this [ bleep ] [ bleepbleep ]. okay. please, let's go. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: yeah. >> i was raised -- i was raised by pirates, what can i say? >> seth: yeah, yeah. it's a great cast as i mentioned. >> yeah. >> seth: but you were starstruck by one person, and i don't blame you. [ whimpers ] [ light laughter ] >> um, yeah. so, when i was little and she was -- eh, actually not much older than me, but slightly -- i was a big fan of "the karate kid." >> seth: yeah. >> i used to do karate when i was a little kid. and my dad took me to see "the karate kid" at the movies. >> seth: yeah. >> and ali, a.k.a. elisabeth shue, was like, probably my first on-screen crush. [ audience aws ] >> seth: this is such a weird crowd tonight. [ laughter ] >> yeah. you guys are so full of empathy. >> seth: literally seconds ago he was screaming, "you [ bleep ] [ bleep ]," on camera and now all of a sudden you're like, "aw." [ scattered cheers ] >> yeah. i'll take it. [ light laughter ] no, so they don't -- al

is this story [ bleep ]?d take let's just say two of my favorite presidents, george washington in abe lincoln for obvious reasons. thank you. be kind of weird not to include him. because i'd be cleaning this place up instead of sitting here. but if they came out of a time machine right now and said we would run for the democratic party, it would not change the overall message. you lied and can't the american people. no candidate will change that unless you come forward, out the people responsible, and they are not willing to do that. it doesn't matter who they put in, unless you are just an idiot on the republican campaign, which we've been known to blow a leader too those two, you can't [ bleep ] this up which means we will find a way. >> greg: just because the democrats socks doesn't mean the republicans are great. you have to keep your mind, like, i mean look, lindsay graham. anyway i won't go there. >> make it like a basketball game, republicans will get up 45 on the democrats and then lose by 20 in the f

[bleep] diversity. bring back the white people.lieve all the cool kids are hanging out behind the bleachers, like, "after we finish not having sex, let's fund offshore fracking." and as an asian, i want to make it clear that vivek ramaswamy does not represent me. because indians are not asians. but if vivek didn't convince young people that it's cool to be republican, check out this sick beat. ♪ if the mayor of maga ville ♪ ♪ you know who we are going to vote ♪ ♪ we are voting donald trump baby ♪ ♪ donald trump, baby ♪ ♪ america needs safe ♪ >> ronny: i didn't think it was possible to dishonor vanilla ice. but they did it. i wish i got shot in the ear so i don't have to listen to that shit. do republicans not remember they have kanye? like, i know he's a bit of a nazi now, but i really don't think this room will mind. now the main theme of night two was "making america safe again." which got off to a bad start when rudy giuliani did an impression of his net worth and plummeted to the ground. don't worry, everyone, he's fine. fortun

some people call him the sitting president, i call him the [ bleep ] president [ bleep ].about it, they had to have a second shooter. for biden it would be a banana peel, the second shooter would be a fall breeze. just like teddy roosevelt, they shot him and he kept talking. biden gets a question and he dies. not so good. >> this is all a farce at this point. it's hard. do you remember fire marshal bill? he starting to look like that. he's just like. they just kind of have him -- put a stick up his [ bleep ] and will come out. >> greg: you are right. you know what people haven't talked about, the silent joe, not the talking joe put the silent joe in the debate where it was just this death case. it was actually super creepy. it was like frozen. >> i thought my computer froze. i started hitting my computer. i moved the timeline up to minutes and he's still... >> greg: that's the scene in movies where somebody walks over, like the coffin goes like this over the eyes. why do they do that? had there, always good to see you. we haven't talked since the debate. is it my breath? >

[bleep] diversity. bring back the white people.o believe all the cool kids are hanging out behind the bleachers, like, "after we finish not having sex, let's fund offshore fracking." and as an asian, i want to make it clear that vivek ramaswamy does not represent me. because indians are not asians. but if vivek didn't convince young people that it's cool to be republican, check out this sick beat. ♪ if the mayor of maga ville ♪ ♪ you know who we are going to vote ♪ ♪ we are voting donald trump baby ♪ ♪ donald trump, baby ♪ ♪ america needs safe ♪ >> ronny: i didn't think it was possible to dishonor vanilla ice. but they did it. i wish i got shot in the ear so i don't have to listen to that shit. do republicans not remember they have kanye? like, i know he's a bit of a nazi now, but i really don't think this room will mind. now the main theme of night two was "making america safe again." which got off to a bad start when rudy giuliani did an impression of his net worth and plummeted to the ground. don't worry, everyone, he's fine. fo

bleep ] with a badge and that means i've got permission to kick your [ bleep ] ass." [ laughter and applauseow i did the [ bleep ] thing." [ laughter ] yeah, i got to meet those. and i got -- and studio 54 was around still. so, i got to meet that whole thing. i met yul brynner at studio 54. and it's yul -- who gets to meet yul brynner? >> seth: right, who gets to meet yul brynner? >> i got to meet yul brynner at studio 54. and he kind of like -- years later, i realized he was -- "were they trying to pick me up?" he was with his wife. [ laughter ] i'm like 21-year- old. yul brynner was like, "would you like to come back to my house and party?" [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, party. yeah. >> he's like, "would you like to come back with my wife and i and party?" i was like, "what?" "come to my place and party." and i was like, "hey, we partying right here." [ laughter ] and then i didn't go. and then, years later i realized. i was like, "oh, he meant come party." [ laughter ] and now i wish i had gone. >> seth: yeah, right? [ laughter ] >> the story's much better -- >> seth: yeah. i give you permissi

- [bleep] off! simple kid with a simple passion for simple things. - we have 100 ounces of silver. - wipe your feet and turn off your cell phones. now, we're going select an empty world. selecting an empty world will begin you being dropped on a beach. now you're free to roam around and start punching trees. - punching trees? - why would we punch trees? - just use your [bleep] brain. how do you get wood? how do you get wood? - watching informative murder porn? - no, in this minecraft forest! how do you get wood? - punching trees? - right. you punch the trees to get the wood. you get the wood to build a cabin. - oh, i see. so when does the game start? - you are playing the game. this is the game! - i don't get it. - that's because you're thinking like a dad. minecraft, it don't got no winner. it don't got no objective. you're just [bleep] building shit and seeing if other things can knock it down. now, let's click on the inventory and let's filter through the skins. - yes, i'm getting it now. - you a

but people were like no [ bleep ].eah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, so similar. [ laughter ] so we went out, and we danced, and we went to teen dance clubs growing up. and then we went to adult dance clubs. that's all we did is dance our way through. >> lamorne: wait, you went from teen dance clubs to strip clubs? >> no. >> lamorne: you said adult. >> no, strip clubs. i never got into strip clubs because you're sitting there and you make eye contact, i'm not that guy. the uh. so i danced. i danced. actually, i'm -- i think it goes black people, spanish people, italian people when it comes to dancing. >> lamorne: yeah. i agree. i agree. >> i like to say i'm a pretty good dancer. >> lamorne: you're a pretty good dancer. >> listen, i wasn't planning on doing this, but i'm freezing, and i might want to move around a little bit. [ cheering ] >> lamorne: are we about to >> if you get the band to play like maybe a little club music. i'm not that mobile right now. i got sciatic pain ripping down my leg. but i'll show you a coup

his secretary of state called him a "[bleep] moron."said, "he's the most flawed person i've ever met." you know why he needs a new vice presidential running mate? i'll tell you why. because he tried to get the last one killed! [applause] no, terrible! you want something done, do it yourself. donald, you are going to have to hit kamala with one of your magic nicknames. >> laughin' kamala. l-a-f-f-i-n apostrophe, laffin'. >> jon: eh. >> so now we have a new victim to defeat. lyin' kamala harris. lyin'. l-y-i-n apostrophe. >> jon: okay. you know what? i hate to say it, guys, but you tried. you gave it your best. i kinda think you have to go back to your classics. it's worked for you in the past. it's your comfort zone. i think you're gonna have to play the hits! >> i think she was a dei hire. >> 100%, she was a dei hire. >> she would be the queen of dei if she were elected. she is dei. >> i think that this whole de&i token hire of kamala harris has already been exposed. >> this woman, this disaster whose only "qualification" is having a va

[ bleep ] [ laughter ] i was like "argh! damn it.you immediately take out your phone out like "cousin" mike. save. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: this i -- i assume -- obviously the most incredible location, italy for "white lotus." >> yes, yes. lovely. >> seth: "the gentleman," beautiful manor. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: you actually filmed that in an actual manor. >> yeah, we filmed on the duke of beaufort's estate. such a beautiful estate. >> seth: okay, had you ever heard of this duke before you -- >> no, no, and i didn't really think that still existed in britain. you know, i kind of thought this was a vestige of another past. i thought it was a kind of joke, if you know what i mean. >> seth: this is an active manor. >> it's an active manor. >> seth: wow. >> that has been passed down for 400 years. they own like most of wales and the place is kind of falling down a bit. but i think he -- he thought he was going to be getting "the crown," or "bridgerton." >> seth: yeah, when a tv show asks to use your manor -- >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >>

his secretary of state called him a "[bleep] moron."e's the most flawed person i've ever met." you know why he needs a new vice presidential running mate? i'll tell you why. because he tried to get the last one killed! [applause] no, terrible! you want something done, do it yourself. donald, you are going to have to hit kamala with one of your magic nicknames. >> laughin' kamala. l-a-f-f-i-n apostrophe, laffin'. >> jon: eh. >> so now we have a new victim to defeat. lyin' kamala harris. lyin'. l-y-i-n apostrophe. >> jon: okay. you know what? i hate to say it, guys, but you tried. you gave it your best. i kinda think you have to go back to your classics. it's worked for you in the past. it's your comfort zone. i think you're gonna have to play the hits! >> i think she was a dei hire. >> 100%, she was a dei hire. >> she would be the queen of dei if she were elected. she is dei. >> i think that this whole de&i token hire of kamala harris has already been exposed. >> this woman, this disaster whose only "qualification" is having a vagina and

>> drop the [ bleep ] pot! drop the [ bleep ] pot! drop the [ bleep ] pot! >> shots fired!er: tonight, abc news obtaining a grievance filed for former deputy sean grayson, seen in that video shooting sonia massey, claiming he was terminated without just cause. asking for his job back along with lost wages and benefits. grayson's past now also under scrutiny. he worked for six law enforcement agencies in the last four years, despite being charged with two duis, one in 2015 and one in 2016, and before that was discharged from the army for misconduct. and grayson has pleaded not guilty to the charges in massey's killing. his attorney tonight also declining to comment on the case. whit. >>> now to the dramatic rescue of two divers after 38 hours stranded at sea. the u.s. coast guard located the husband and wife after seeing a flashing light in the water. they went missing on wednesday whilediving off beach. loved ones calling it a miracle. >> reporter: a harrowing tale of survival tonight after this husband and wife managed to survive nearly 38 hours in the ocean off the coast

i hope they're not [ bleep ]. i'm just hoping. it's a good hope.sident biden has scheduled a prime time. didn't see that 1 coming did you. >> porn hub moment. stepmom. that's on his bucket list. president biden has scheduled a primetime address 8:00 pm tomorrow helping america being a much-needed sigh of relief as he preempts jesse watters. prior to the address biden has been in meetings with his new advisors the white house press secretary was on the view. she probably was addition and to be on the view but didn't meet the minimum weight requirement. she's looking to find a vp that doesn't shine her she's looking at for it teddy rex pin doll a plunger. jimmy carter was said to be suppose it really dead turns out he isn't meaning at least 1 president is alive. we also learned secret service officials repeatedly at rejected trump's request for extra security and the 2 years prior to the assassination attempt including more agents at large public events as well as extra snipers for outdoor venues. officials claimed the agency lacked resources but tha

>> it's granola, mother [ bleep ], of course it contains nuts!customers first will make you a gold-star cashier. >> i'm going to burn this place to the ground. ♪ customers first ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> anthony: we have a very good show for you tonight, roy wood jr. is here, we've got music from the decemberists, and we'll be right back with howie mandel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> anthony: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!," i'm anthony anderson. tonight, you can see him live on his "one night only: over the course of multiple nights" tour, the hilarious roy wood jr. is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later -- from portland oregon, this is their ninth album called, "as it ever was, so it will be again." music from the decemberists. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, my guests will be ken jeong and chef kevin bludso, with music from remi wolf. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a tirelessly funny man. he's a judge on "america's got talent," co-hosts two podcasts, "howie mandel does stuff" and "when a stranger calls." pe

he was just that [ bleep ] good.nistan before they fell off a flying c1 30. you know it's amazing, the democrats think, like, they say this is a win because he did not collapse but in a way, it's a loss because now they are stuck with him. at least the breakup will now be longer. >> right. and the media was back in the bag of the biden camp so they were not actually doing a favor to the democrats who wanted joe biden to dig your to flee fall on his face because they went back to straight fawning. the first question last night was, your political future has hung over the nato summit, a little bit, this week. how good you reassure the american people you won't have more bet nights? what kind of questions are those? just ask him. in february you were taking a blood thinner, cholesterol and nasal spray for allergies, those were your prescription meds. what other prescriptions are you taking now? do you not know? how many pills are in your hand at night before you go to bed? do you couch them? who gives them to you? chill

. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. drop the [ bleep ], drop the [ bleep ] pot. drop it! [ bleep ] >> shots fired, shots fired! >> deputy shawn grayson has since been fired and indicted by a grand jury on three counts of first degree murder. president biden has offered his condolences to massey's family. >>> delta airlines continues to be plagued by cancellations by friday's global i.t. outage. the atlanta-based carrier has canceled more flights than any other major carrier with nearly 6,000 cancellations since friday. the company ceo has apologized and offered frequent flyer miles to travelers, and flight change fees are being waived. delta says it could still take a few more days to recover. >>> time to grab your umbrella. summer showers are moving to the east today. nbcmeteorologist angie lassman is tracking the threat for us this morning. good morning, angie. >> we've got wet weather working through the northeast this morning. boston to new york. some of those showers are going to move to the east. but you may wake up to wet roads. we keep it unsettled across much of

you're full of bleep. i - is a no. you're full of bleep. want to... is a no. you're full of bleep.want to... mr chairman. - is a no. you're full of bleep. i | want to... mr chairman. eechlt is a no. you're full of bleep. i - want to... mr chairman. eechlt and calls. i want to... mr chairman. eechlt and calls- i don't _ want to... mr chairman. eechlt and calls. i don't understand _ want to. .. mr chairman. eechlt and calls. i don't understand how- want to... mr chairman. eechlt and calls. i don't understand how you i calls. i don't understand how you can continue _ calls. i don't understand how you can continue to _ calls. i don't understand how you can continue to stay _ calls. i don't understand how you can continue to stay in the - calls. i don't understand how you i can continue to stay in the position that you _ can continue to stay in the position that you are — can continue to stay in the position that you are ih _ can continue to stay in the position that you are in. fire _ can continue to stay in the position that you are in-_ that you are in. are you going to resin? that yo

[cows mooing] - [bleep] you, cow! [angry yelling] [chickens clucking] - [bleep] you, chicken! - [bleep] you, chicken! - great job, son. now the japanese are normal like us. journalists at comedy central, it's america's only source for news! this is "the daily show" with your host... jon stewart! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome! [cheers and applause] please, please! how is everybody doing? wow, wow! [cheers and applause] what a terrible [bleep] week! [laughter] "hey, jon, come back to "the daily show" just for the election, it'll be fun! you'll do one day a week, it'll be a larf! what could go wrong?" obviously, we were supposed to be doing our shows from milwaukee for the rnc this week, but because of the attempt on the former president's life, our venue, the venue in which we had planned to do the show, the theater, which was originally located in the "soft perimeter" they called it, securitywise, was shifted, understandably so, to the "hard perimeter." they called it the "hard perimeter." you really don't want to be in the hard perimeter. it w

[laughter] was there a second [bleep] in there?r: racking up a staggering 24 criminal charges, governor blagojevich's actions essentially boiled down to four things-- extortion, bribery, corruption, and wire fraud. and it wasn't just about the senate seat. blagojevich was also found guilty of extorting a children's hospital. you can't write this stuff. he's an arrogant punk who thinks that, you know, he's bulletproof. well, he's not. he was convicted on 18 total charges and sentenced to 14 years, the longest sentence ever handed down to a governor. people loathed blagojevich for the way he politicked, but was what he did so blatantly criminal? 'cause the truth is that the line between what's illegal and what's allowable is much murkier than we'd like to think, and this is where the rod blagojevich story gets interesting. let me reassert to all of you once more that i am not guilty of any criminal wrongdoing. [camera shutter clicks] was rod a corrupt politician or just a politician operating in a corrupt system that still thrives to

that's like saying a trombone blows or a dung beetle eats [ bleep ]. you such babies? it's a straw. why do you need a straw anyway? are you that bad at drinking water? >> nothing has frustrated me more than false choices like the one the president laid out tonight. >> seth: oh, right, you are terrible at drinking water, i forgot. water is to marco rubio, what luggage is to ben carson. seriously, there's so much more important stuff going on. child poverty. medical bankruptcy. hunger inequality. climate change. and this is what you're whining about? straws? this brings us to a segment called "seth does the biggest eyeroll he can." ♪ [ laughter ] shh! here's what i have to say to rubio. shut the [ bleep ] up! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i forgot to stretch. when they're not whining about paper straws, they're whining about stuff like airports. while for some reason dramatic music plays in the background. >> we are a nation whose once-revered airports are a dirty, crowded mess. you sit and wait for hours, and then are notified that the plane won'

>> drop the [ bleep ] pot! >> shots fired, shots fired. >> reporter: grayson, who did not turn on his body cam until after shooting massey, explaining the situation to responding officers, who ask where's the gun. >> house is clear. she was the only one. >> where's the gun? >> no, she had boiling water and she came at me with boiling water. >> you shot her? >> yeah. she said she was going to rebuke me in the name of jesus and came at me with boiling water. >> reporter: grayson charged with murder. and david, grayson has pleaded not guilty, he remains in custody and could face life in prison if convicted. david? >> david: alex perez tonight. thank you. >>> when we come back here, a fast-moving fire east of los angeles, destroying homes. >>> also, the passenger plane descending to within about 100 feet of the water near tampa. air traffic controllers warning the pilots. >>> and tonight, we remember a motown favorite. (vo) you might be used to living with your albuterol asthma rescue inhaler, but it's a bit of a d

i swear to [ bleep ] god i'll shoot you right in your [ bleep ] face. >> okay! i'm sorry!> drop the [ bleep ] pot! drop it! >> shots fired, shots fired. >> shots fired! shots fired! >> reporter: grayson, who did not turn on his body cam until after shooting massey, explaining the situation to responding officers, who ask where's the gun? >> house is clear. she was the only one. >> where's the gun? >> no. she had boiling water and came at me with boiling water. >> you shot her? >> yeah. she said she was going to rebuke me in the name of jesus and came at me with boiling water. >> reporter: grayson charged with murder. and david, grayson has pleaded not guilty. he remains in custody and could face life in prison if convicted. david? >> david: all right. alex perez tonight. alex, thank you. >>> when we come back here, a fast-moving fire east of los angeles, destroying homes. >>> also, the passenger plane descending to within about 100 feet of the water near tampa. air traffic controllers warning the pilots. >>> and tonight, we remember a motown favorite. (vo) you might be use

and, once again, courtney storer is the [ bleep ] boss. the ether i feel, or something, you know? i'm up in the ether. >> jimmy: the food looks so good on the show. >> the food is incredible. >> jimmy: you actually brought something here tonight for me to try. i've never tried before this. >> a snack. >> jimmy: this is a snack. >> oh. >> jimmy: this is based on something you've actually had in real life? >> yeah. so we were in copenhagen -- copes -- around 2017. i had this dessert at 108, the chef, christian, was there, and he made this dessert with this beautiful ice cream with caviar and this beautiful oil on it. and it was just something i'd never had before. and it was something so beautiful. and we 100% like, ripped it off on the show. [ light laughter ] and shoutout to christian, you know. i was just there. what up, dude? and, you know, i think it's just a beautiful thing. it's salty, it's sweet, it's cold -- >> jimmy: so just -- >> so you take a scoop. you want to do it? >> jimmy: yeah, let's do it. >> okay, this is a nice little su

the chinese flew a [ bleep ] balloon over our entire country for days.ed russia's help with this dumpster fire, but more importantly, questions like that, and angles like this take our eye off the real ball, that china has owned us for three year, and russia is laughing all the way to their disgusting bank. >> greg: up next, george was frank about joe, and it was quite a blow. ♪exciting music.♪ [mud splat.] [bird squawk.] and that's why i never drive those guys. [ ♪♪ ] we're tired of hearing “i don't wanna get my truck dirty.” with weathertech laser-measured floorliners front and rear... a seat protector ...and full bed protection... trucks are totally covered. you just got weatherteched. yeah, buddy. let's get dirty. [bikes in mud.] drive worry free with these american made products at weathertech.com. lumineux is the first fluoride free toothpaste i've ever found that actually works. my dentist was blown away with how clean and white my teeth are. my gums and teeth are so healthy. it's crazy. you can get lumineux toothpaste at walmart and target. >> st

some audible gasp but i don't think what he googled means anything is about how did you let this [ bleepwas a 20-year-old dirt bag. >> do not forget it's an attempted assassination right we have footage of the attempted assassin wandering around try to figure where he was parked. was walking around the lake is this the right building like he had time to get a ladder like the gates were locked so police can get in and the only answer you have is i don't know it seems to me and again i set up before we all just sit back like the new campaign slogan for president trump we should just the back every time they talk just say we already know what it is the fact that whenever history repeats itself when bad deeds are done the name of martyrdom or whatever the hell it is there are so many questions and they make zero cents. if somebody goes on facebook and rates i like president trump their account will be shut down and 6 seconds you have a guy googling in the area of the president and figure that out. i mean he had literally 0 resistance which is just impossible other than the people screaming l

how are you, you [bleep] racist? reporter: christopher columbus -- explorer, pioneer. was he just a douche? for years. columbus circle has been a landmark and photogenic intersection in new york city. so it came as a surprise when someone defecated on the statue earlier today. i'm joined now by the man who did the actual defecating, mr. randy marsh of south park, colorado. good evening! mr. marsh, you took a dump on the beloved statue that has been an icon here in the city for years. what was your reasoning? well, i just have a problem with the racist people of this city. "yee-haw! i'm from new york. i drive around a big circle that celebrates a guy who murdered native americans. shoo wee!" so, you're doing this because of indigenous peoples and their feelings? i don't care if people get indigenous. i'll crap all over their statues. i'm the one who's indigenous that this landmark even exists! uh, uh... ba-back to you, tom. [ sniffles ] it ain't right. they make you work like a dog and then just tear away your one day off in october like you're a piece of trash. hey, gu

just don't be -- [bleep] ♪ [ ♪ ] [ cheering and applause ] >> that will do for now.s friday see you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guests. so bubbly alka-seltzer sued her for plagiarism. emily compagno oh. is a rough around the edges is the guy you sleeps in your hedges comedian jim florentine. were of her weight in gold which is $430. cat temp. and to steroids take him to get bigger near tense best-selling author, comedian and former nwa world heavyweight champion, tyrus. before we get to new stories let's do this. it's leftovers where he read the jokes we didn't use it's my first time reading this if they suck we will send a joe mackey to clean the toilets at the view >> i would quit. >>> democrats in the media are calling this race prosecutor against felon i prefer to call it the 1 who won a primary and the 1 who is installed because they couldn't hide her bosses dementia. france a high-speed was hit with a coordinated series of sabotage before the olympics widely condemned except by the russian judges who gave it a 9.8. 37% of people think harris s

they won't do [ bleep ] for their unhoused.used individuals and they let them keep their encampments which leads to an increase in infectious disease, rape, regular assault, death and murder. it lacks compassion if you actually move these people out of the street. i find it that sat. san mateo used to be so wonderful now not so much. it was a nice place. >> let's turn things around. the comedian in me wanted to make a joke and the father in me didn't saying know 1 day they will see this when you were in a wheelchair. so i keep waiting for my sins in the past to bite me in the ass but apparently it's not going to happen it seems. so my son has been playing travelling base ball keeps gain picked up by teams they were playing for the florida state championship they started the video early whatever. so it was 7-7 top of the seventh and he hits a walk off 3 run shot to put his team ahead. for that now they were down 1 and he hit a walkoff homerun to get them into the championship game so his friends are cheering and screaming the ot

they won't do [ bleep ] for their unhoused.them keep their encampments which leads to an increase in infectious disease, rape, regular assault, death and murder. it lacks compassion if you actually move these people out of the street. i find it that sat. san mateo used to be so wonderful now not so much. it was a nice place. >> let's turn things around. the comedian in me wanted to make a joke and the father in me didn't saying know 1 day they will see this when you were in a wheelchair. so i keep waiting for my sins in the past to bite me in the ass but apparently it's not going to happen it seems. so my son has been playing travelling base ball keeps gain picked up by teams they were playing for the florida state championship they started the video early whatever. so it was 7-7 top of the seventh and he hits a walk off 3 run shot to put his team ahead. for that now they were down 1 and he hit a walkoff homerun to get them into the championship game so his friends are cheering and screaming the other team came up got 2 out str

. >> you better [ bleep ] not. i swear to god i'll shoot you right in the [ bleep ] face.ter not shot fired! >> reporter: officials saying massey, a moth. drop the pot. drop the [ bleep ] pot. drop it. [ gunfire ] >> shots fired! shots fired! >> reporter: officials saying massey, a mother of two, was shot in the head. >> i'm not taking a pot of boiling water to my [ bleep ] face. >> reporter: video of her body blurred by police. a grand jury indicting former deputy grayson on three counts of first degree murder. grayson's lawyer declining to comment. >> you know what i want? i want justice for my baby. >> reporter: massey's family alongside civil rights attorney ben crump. >> she needed a helping hand. she didn't need a bullet to the face. >> reporter: president biden saying in a statement they deserve justice, calling it an unthinkable and senseless loss. maggie vespa, nbc news. >>> we'll take a break here. up next, days after that massive computer meltdown, it's still a travel meltdown for some. the latest after this. it's sta travel meltdown for some. the latest after t

i don't hear no [ bleep ] respect.e sure he's good to go on the sixth. >> he'll be ready. >> seth: please welcome to the show antony starr, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the show. >> oh, my god, thanks for having me. i'm so pleased to be here. >> seth: this is your first one of these. >> it's my first one of these, and i've been a fan of yours -- >> seth: that's too kind. >> -- for quite a while. since the foreign correspondents' dinner in 2012. >> seth: of 20 -- yeah, that was -- let's not talk about it. [ laughter ] >> we don't have to talk about it. >> seth: we don't talk about it. >> [ bleep ] >> seth: i'm very -- i'm a fan of yours, and i have been since i first laid eyes on the show. this is season four. >> yeah. >> seth: from season one, homelander, really one of the worst people on tv. [ laughter ] and so, so great to meet you backstage. and you're such an affable fella. and i realized, "wow, you're a really good actor," 'cause that -- he's a real piece of [

i'm just -- [ laughter ] i'm just [ bleep ] with you. we're just [ bleep ]. to get to joe biden's disastrous debate performance and the political fallout in a moment. but as bad as things may be for biden right now, you can at least take small comfort in the fact he is not the presidential candidate who recently had to clarify that he would not eat a person. >> i'll eat virtually anything. there's two things i wouldn't eat -- well, three. i wouldn't eat a human. i wouldn't eat a monkey. and i wouldn't eat a dog. >> seth: well, that checks out because you sound like you ate a frog. now -- [ laughter ] the bar for campaign promises has really been lowered. it used to be stuff like, "i will safeguard social security" or "i will create jobs." now we're down to, "i won't eat you." [ laughter ] says a lot about rfk jr. as a candidate that even he knows that if he didn't clarify he wouldn't eat a human, we'd all assume he'd eat a human. [ laughter ] as a general rule, if you ever have to say that you don't eat people, that's a huge red flag. [ laughter ] if a restau

they won't do [ bleep ] for their unhoused.ls and they let them keep their encampments which leads to an increase in infectious disease, rape, regular assault, death and murder. it lacks compassion if you actually move these people out of the street. i find it that sat. san mateo used to be so wonderful now not so much. it was a nice place. >> let's turn things around. the comedian in me wanted to make a joke and the father in me didn't saying know 1 day they will see this when you were in a wheelchair. so i keep waiting for my sins in the past to bite me in the ass but apparently it's not going to happen it seems. so my son has been playing travelling base ball keeps gain picked up by teams they were playing for the florida state championship they started the video early whatever. so it was 7-7 top of the seventh and he hits a walk off 3 run shot to put his team ahead. for that now they were down 1 and he hit a walkoff homerun to get them into the championship game so his friends are cheering and screaming the other team came

you're like, what the [ bleep ], this is crazy, right?st recently, and then again and probably five times after that, "you know you weren't this smart when you were his age." [ laughter ] >> anthony: right. and i'm like, "are you kidding? of course i watt." she's like, "100% you weren't." so my husband loves to say, 80 think he has my brain and your fire." [ laughter ] >> anthony: ha ha ha. >> my brain and your fire? it will suit him well. >> anthony: it's interesting you bring up your mom. my mom is sitting in the audience right now. >> yes. >> anthony: i have a question for you. how has your mother changed from mother to grandmother? is there a difference? because i know how mine has changed. [ laughter ] >> well, my mom points out wonderful things like i wasn't that smart when i was little. so she's doing great. [ laughter ] she is -- charlie is her ninth grandchild. >> anthony: oh, wow. >> yeah, yeah. my sisters have been at it. [ laughter ] they've been busy. i don't even remember her husband's name. i don't know how you have more. a

] you can spread [ bleep ] in any direction. >> will the reincarnation work. >> what the white housea or attempting to do is they're trying to take dan quayle tournament to dick cheney in front of our eyes it's not can i happen the important thing is we have to stop being given the room that when your brother reaches over and punches you jumping up and being like he hit me he hit me he is lying he always does this that's what we're doing right now let's let them at their honeymoon let's sit back and watch them set the table for their own up a pedestal all that stuff whatever that we can have great come on monday and press play and start running all the stuff she's actually doing and compare them to the home makeover like although shows when they have restaurant makeovers the end the same way 3 months later they're out of business. >> like horribly run bar on bar rescue. >> and if he can't save you nobody can remix at the stat look what's under the fridge. >> we can't let them eat that people could die. >> up next reese's it's not clear what hit trump's ear the thing you care about mo

he can't do bleep! - come here, sweetheart. he can't do bleep!- come here, sweetheart.the prime minister! _ minister! i- minister! i came here to pay my minister! — i came here to pay my respects minisieii — i came here to pay my respects to the victims _ i came here to pay my respects to the victims and families who are going _ the victims and families who are going through raw pain and grief that most— going through raw pain and grief that most of us can't imagine. i can't _ that most of us can't imagine. i can't imagine it as a dad myself. to -et can't imagine it as a dad myself. to get a _ can't imagine it as a dad myself. to get a briefing from the chief constable and emergency services about _ constable and emergency services about the — constable and emergency services about the ongoing investigation, but also, importantly, to have the opportunity to say to those that were _ opportunity to say to those that were responding yesterday from the emergency services, to say a personal— emergency services, to say a personal thank you to them and to shake _ personal than

you are like busy with some [bleep] show!gyllenhaal, everybody. we will be right back with "saturday night live"'s chloe fineman! to dovato. hed dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults. no other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato. detect this: leo learned that most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. dovato is as effective with just 2. if you have hepatitis b, don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking dofetilide. this can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. if you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. serious or life-threatening lactic acid buildup and liver problems can occur. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. dovato may harm an unborn baby. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. detect this:

go [ bleep ] beat donald trump.he was the scrappy kid from scranton i'd be [ bleep ] thrilled. >> jesse: and here comes the clintons. the new york times publishing a piece from bill's old pollster, biden's path to reelection has all but vanished. and they say a new candidate is inevitable. biden has lost the two power centres in democrat politics, the obama's and clinton's and when you lose them, you lose the money. democrat donors have just told the biden campaign they are freezing $90 million in pledges until he drops out. >> it's shutting down, i know these people. and not only other shutting down conjugations to the biden campaign, it's to the senate committee, to the house committee. and all i can do is shut my mouth and make a lot of people happy. but they shut their wallets and it will make a lot of people unhappy. >> jesse: when checkbooks start closing on the house and senate, the whole party starts running. >> what americans feel in their bones right now suggests not only that joe biden would lose this rac