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Feb 14, 2024
02/24
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desi lydic, everybody!hen we come back, killer mike is here, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] i can't see you! hi, i'm bradley cooper. everyone is auditioning to get t-mobile 'magenta status'. with 'magenta status' there's no need to fill up... ...when you drop off your car... at dollar. i like to juggle... that's good brad! i'm a really good whistler... [whistling] get a special rate on your hilton stay. mom! i can cry on cue. ♪ playing: you don't gotta try... ♪ ( ♪♪ ) no need to audition. ( ♪♪ ) introducing 'magenta status'. ( ♪♪ ) premium benefits from brands you love. i'm willing to work alone. what? new kinder chocolate. ♪♪ delicious little bars of smooth milk chocolate with a creamy, milky center. ♪♪ made for being a kid. let that kid flag fly. [traffic noise] [text message] let's ace this thing! ♪ ♪ i got you coffee. oh my god, what? you literally read my mind. got you, girl. [robot sounds] [car revs] [cars honking] hey, lexus show alternate routes. ♪♪ [drone sounds] ♪♪ [drone crashes] ♪♪ the
desi lydic, everybody!hen we come back, killer mike is here, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] i can't see you! hi, i'm bradley cooper. everyone is auditioning to get t-mobile 'magenta status'. with 'magenta status' there's no need to fill up... ...when you drop off your car... at dollar. i like to juggle... that's good brad! i'm a really good whistler... [whistling] get a special rate on your hilton stay. mom! i can cry on cue. ♪ playing: you don't gotta try... ♪ ( ♪♪ ) no need...
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Feb 14, 2024
02/24
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desi lydic, everybody!ike is here, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] i can't see you! hi, i'm bradley cooper. everyone is auditioning to get t-mobile 'magenta status'. with 'magenta status' there's no need to fill up... ...when you drop off your car... at dollar. i like to juggle... that's good brad! i'm a really good whistler... [whistling] get a special rate on your hilton stay. mom! i can cry on cue. ♪ playing: you don't gotta try... ♪ ( ♪♪ ) no need to audition. ( ♪♪ ) introducing 'magenta status'. ( ♪♪ ) premium benefits from brands you love. i'm willing to work alone. what? ya know, if you were cashbacking you could earn on everything with just one card. chase freedom unlimited. so, if you're off the racking... ...or crab cracking, you're cashbacking. cashback on flapjacks, baby backs, or tacos at the taco shack. nah, i'm working on my six pack. switch to a king suite- or book a silent retreat. silent retreat? hold up - yeeerp? i can't talk right now, i'm at a silent retreat. cashback on everyth
desi lydic, everybody!ike is here, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] i can't see you! hi, i'm bradley cooper. everyone is auditioning to get t-mobile 'magenta status'. with 'magenta status' there's no need to fill up... ...when you drop off your car... at dollar. i like to juggle... that's good brad! i'm a really good whistler... [whistling] get a special rate on your hilton stay. mom! i can cry on cue. ♪ playing: you don't gotta try... ♪ ( ♪♪ ) no need to audition. ( ♪♪ )...
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Feb 23, 2024
02/24
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this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to the daily show, i'm desi lydic. we have a great show for you tonight to pick out joe biden's dog turns the secret service into an all-you-can-eat buffet, we hear why your grandmas but but dials couldn't go through and we put an end back to a terrible rumor by nikki haley. plus a performance by grammy winner jason isbell -- let's get into the headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with a scandal that's been rocking the white house. according to a new report, joe biden's dog commander a bit secret service agents at least 24 times before he was banished from the white house last october. 24 times! [laughter] i'm sorry, even john wick would be like "you've got to get rid of that dog." [laughter] let's move on to another world leader, beyonce. [cheers and applause] she just made history by becoming the first black woman to top the country music chart. [cheers and applause] huge! with her hit song "t
this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to the daily show, i'm desi lydic. we have a great show for you tonight to pick out joe biden's dog turns the secret service into an all-you-can-eat buffet, we hear why your grandmas but but dials couldn't go through and we put an end back to a terrible rumor by nikki haley. plus a performance by grammy winner jason isbell -- let's get into the...
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Feb 22, 2024
02/24
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[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic.ot a great show for you tonight. we watched trump's town hall so you don't have to. biden's impeachment just got impeached. and we made michael kosta go to duluth! so let's jump right into it with our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with poor donald trump. this week alone, he was fined $355 million. [cheers and applause] historians voted him the worst president of all time. [cheers and applause] and "madame web" turned out to be too bad to even jerk off to. real setback for him. so last night, trump took his ego to the day spa, also known as fox news, where he sat down with laura ingraham, who came cosplaying as a purse. and she asked trump one of the big questions on everyone's mind. >> what qualities are you looking for in your vice presidential pick? >> well, always, the first quality has to be somebody that you think will be a good president. a lot of people are talking about that gentleman right over there. tim scott, he has b
[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic.ot a great show for you tonight. we watched trump's town hall so you don't have to. biden's impeachment just got impeached. and we made michael kosta go to duluth! so let's jump right into it with our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with poor donald trump. this week alone, he was fined $355 million. [cheers and applause]...
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Feb 21, 2024
02/24
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i'm desi lydic and i will be your host all week! and applause] unless the supreme court strikes that down. they love ruling against women. it's a fun game we play. we've got a great show for you tonight, so let's get into it, with our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with nikki haley. she made a big announcement today, but it wasn't the one we're all expecting. >> some of you, perhaps a few of you in the media, came here today to see if i'm dropping out of the race. [laughter] well, i'm not. [cheers and applause] >> desi: [laughs] okay, we'll just wait another week then! do what you want, but it's not a good sign for your campaign if you have to keep announcing that you're not dropping out of the race. nikki haley's campaign has reached the "guest who doesn't know when to leave the party" stage. republican voters are like, "oof, oh, god, i got to wake up early tomorrow," and nikki is like, "ooh, let's start a game of risk!" and if this speech was supposed to convince people that
i'm desi lydic and i will be your host all week! and applause] unless the supreme court strikes that down. they love ruling against women. it's a fun game we play. we've got a great show for you tonight, so let's get into it, with our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with nikki haley. she made a big announcement today, but it wasn't the one we're all expecting. >> some of you, perhaps a few of you in the media, came here...
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Feb 13, 2024
02/24
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[cheers and applause] we'll start with our very own desi lydic and michael kosta! desi, welcome.pplause] desi, i will start with you. where will you two be reporting from this election season? >> jon, i'm going to be spending the next nine months here in a michigan diner, because diners are where real americans eat. the people are good to come of the menus are sticky, and the chickens have fingers. >> and i'll be in the same diner as desi, but the realer part of the diner. not the booth section, with all the coastal elite democrats and their fancy back support. i'll be spending the campaign at the counter with the trump voters, because realer americans want to sit at the bar stool on their coats. jon? >> jon: michael, what do trump voters think about this election? >> they're excited for president trump to win the presidency a third time and enact his agenda. >> jon: the border wall, tariffs, that's what they're excited for? >> no, i would say the vengeance. total and utter vengeance. one woman i met, irene, retired nurse, she said she hopes that trump will, quote, "split the ski
[cheers and applause] we'll start with our very own desi lydic and michael kosta! desi, welcome.pplause] desi, i will start with you. where will you two be reporting from this election season? >> jon, i'm going to be spending the next nine months here in a michigan diner, because diners are where real americans eat. the people are good to come of the menus are sticky, and the chickens have fingers. >> and i'll be in the same diner as desi, but the realer part of the diner. not the...
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Feb 20, 2024
02/24
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before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, desi lydic! desi!s out of sneakercon, where donald trump has just debuted his snazzy golden sneakers. >> jon: nice. >> yeah, an american treasure, made in china! and not to be outdone, the democrats have announced a new line of limited-edition joe biden [bleep]-me pumps. [laughter and cheering] >> jon: i got to tell you, i think he's going to look incredible in those. very nice. thank you so much. here it is. here is your "moment of zen." >> because i honestly thought he was going to be aggressive and ask these so-called tough questions. so frankly, i did not fully enjoy the interview. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of
before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, desi lydic! desi!s out of sneakercon, where donald trump has just debuted his snazzy golden sneakers. >> jon: nice. >> yeah, an american treasure, made in china! and not to be outdone, the democrats have announced a new line of limited-edition joe biden [bleep]-me pumps. [laughter and cheering] >> jon: i got to tell you, i think he's going to look incredible in those. very nice. thank you so much. here it...