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Mar 14, 2024
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this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta!eers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. the clock is ticking on tiktok, lewis black cancels ai, and rfk jr. has done the impossible: made his candidacy even weirder. but first, let's get into our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with the presidential race. yesterday, joe biden and donald trump both secured enough delegates to clinch their parties' nominations, making this officially a three-man race between trump, biden, and natural causes. although there is another candidate in the race who can play a big role: robert f. kennedy jr. he's polling as high as 22% so far, which means he could lose the election more successfully than any third party candidate in years. and soon we'll find out who he'll choose to lose alongside him. >> robert kennedy jr. says he has chosen his running mate and will announce his vp pick in the
this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta!eers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. the clock is ticking on tiktok, lewis black cancels ai, and rfk jr. has done the impossible: made his candidacy even weirder. but first, let's get into our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪...
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Mar 21, 2024
03/24
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desi lydic, everyone. there you have it.lause] i think maybe the last one, that does sound plausible. there you have it, that breaking news, the presidential election is still on. we now return you to your regularly scheduled presidential election year programming. >> fox news alert. america's border crisis boiling over. >> chaos at the border. >> the never-ending surge of migrants crashing across our southern border. >> jon: yes, every two to four years, we are reminded that we have a southern border and it is porous. >> there is a migrant crime spree killing americans and the president's an accessory to murder. >> we are being overwhelmed. there is no word to describe this except invasion. >> illegal invaders invading america pouring over our border by the millions. >> criminals, rapists, murderers, child predators, and god knows who else. [boos] >> jon: god knows who else? i mean, statistically, a couple of them at least have to be podcasters! murderers? but point taken, i think my pants just shit their pants. and if you'
desi lydic, everyone. there you have it.lause] i think maybe the last one, that does sound plausible. there you have it, that breaking news, the presidential election is still on. we now return you to your regularly scheduled presidential election year programming. >> fox news alert. america's border crisis boiling over. >> chaos at the border. >> the never-ending surge of migrants crashing across our southern border. >> jon: yes, every two to four years, we are reminded...
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Mar 15, 2024
03/24
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. >> desi: and i'm desi lydic! we've got a lot of news to get into.sia meddles in its own election. spring break might be broken. and when life gives elon musk lemons, he fires them. but first let's get into our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ donald trump has had a good week. he sealed the gop nomination. one of his 54 trials was postponed. he just figured out you can google "boobs." the man should be on top of the world! but some of his close friends in the right wing media are concerned. >> i know you have supporters, friends and families. they say it's lonely at the top, and i'm actually curious. is it ever lonely for you?" [laughter] >> desi: what a ridiculous question for a journalist to ask. of course he's not lonely. he saw his wife just six months ago! [bleep] walter cronkite over here. trump answered this question the way he answered every question: by saying whatever was on his mind at that moment. >> i study history and i was always told that andrew jackson as the president was treated the absolute worst. h
. >> desi: and i'm desi lydic! we've got a lot of news to get into.sia meddles in its own election. spring break might be broken. and when life gives elon musk lemons, he fires them. but first let's get into our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ donald trump has had a good week. he sealed the gop nomination. one of his 54 trials was postponed. he just figured out you can google "boobs." the man should be on top of the world! but some...
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Mar 13, 2024
03/24
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this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta!nd applause] ♪ ♪ 's ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. we're going to talk about how kate middleton's picture is worth 1,000 news articles, and lara trump and jesus take the wheel at the rnc, and congress gets to the bottom of whether biden is old. but first, desi, i think we should take a moment to acknowledge equal pay day. because women don't earn enough, and personally, i'm sick of it. >> desi: oh, that's so nice, michael. >> michael: in fact, in the spirit of transparency, i'd like us to both say our salaries out loud, right now. >> desi: oh, uh... we really don't need to do that. >> michael: no, desi, i'm an ally. i want to bring light to an issue affecting all women. >> desi: well, i mean, there might not be a pay gap for every woman. some women might be making more than men, so i think we can just move on. >> michael: $65 a week! $65 a week! that's what i make.
this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta!nd applause] ♪ ♪ 's ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. we're going to talk about how kate middleton's picture is worth 1,000 news articles, and lara trump and jesus take the wheel at the rnc, and congress gets to the bottom of whether biden is old. but first, desi, i...
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Mar 22, 2024
03/24
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desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is. an account for his own campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is. an account for his own campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy...
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legal expert desi lydic, everyone. -- [cheers and applause] when we come back, dulce sloan will be joining me at the desk. don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ dramatic music ♪ [flight attendant alert] [baby crying] [snoring] [luggage rattling] [baby crying] ♪ dramatic music ♪ ♪ upbeat music begins ♪ for everyone who's endured the bad seat, finally, sweet, sweet redemption. the lexus tx. three-row luxury that treats every seat like the best seat. (♪♪) "overflowing with ideas and energy." that's the san francisco chronicle endorsing democrat katie porter for senate over all other options. porter is "easily the most impressive candidate." "known for her grilling of corporate executives." with "deep policy knowledge." katie porter's housing plan has "bipartisan-friendly ideas to bring homebuilding costs down." and the chronicle praises "her ideas to end soft corruption in politics." let's shake up the senate. with democrat katie porter. i'm katie porter and i approve this message. [traffic noise] [text message] let's ac
legal expert desi lydic, everyone. -- [cheers and applause] when we come back, dulce sloan will be joining me at the desk. don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ dramatic music ♪ [flight attendant alert] [baby crying] [snoring] [luggage rattling] [baby crying] ♪ dramatic music ♪ ♪ upbeat music begins ♪ for everyone who's endured the bad seat, finally, sweet, sweet redemption. the lexus tx. three-row luxury that treats every seat like the best seat. (♪♪) "overflowing with...
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legal expert desi lydic, everyone.en we come back, dulce sloan will be joining me at the desk. don't go away. [cheers and applause] [robot sounds] [car revs] [cars honking] hey, lexus show alternate routes. ♪♪ [drone sounds] ♪♪ [drone crashes] ♪♪ the future. sometimes it's a work in progress. other times, it's pretty well thought out. [robot beeps] the tech forward and tech ready, lexus nx. ♪♪ when that tostitos hint of lime flavor hits, it changes things. it takes your snack game up a notch. with a tangy, zesty crunch that's ready to dip. tostitos. get to the good stuff. [street noise] [text message] whole team is here! ♪ ♪ coffee? ah! yes! thank you! [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." today is the last day of black history month, so to get her thoughts, we turn to an actual black expert, dulce sloan! [cheers and applause] >> hello, friends. today is february 29th, which is leap day and black women's history day! [cheers and applause] and if you don't know that, it's because i just mad
legal expert desi lydic, everyone.en we come back, dulce sloan will be joining me at the desk. don't go away. [cheers and applause] [robot sounds] [car revs] [cars honking] hey, lexus show alternate routes. ♪♪ [drone sounds] ♪♪ [drone crashes] ♪♪ the future. sometimes it's a work in progress. other times, it's pretty well thought out. [robot beeps] the tech forward and tech ready, lexus nx. ♪♪ when that tostitos hint of lime flavor hits, it changes things. it takes your snack...
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Mar 20, 2024
03/24
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before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, desi lydic! desi!vering this week? >> well, jon, we'll be following the news out of sneakercon, where donald trump has just debuted his snazzy golden sneakers. >> jon: nice. >> yeah, an american treasure, made in china! and not to be outdone, the democrats have announced a new line of limited-edition joe biden [bleep]-me pumps. [laughter and cheering] >> jon: i got to tell you, i think he's going to look incredible in those. very nice. thank you so much. here it is. here is your "moment of zen." >> because i honestly thought he was going to be aggressive and ask these so-called tough questions. so frankly, i did not fully enjoy the interview. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ -
before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, desi lydic! desi!vering this week? >> well, jon, we'll be following the news out of sneakercon, where donald trump has just debuted his snazzy golden sneakers. >> jon: nice. >> yeah, an american treasure, made in china! and not to be outdone, the democrats have announced a new line of limited-edition joe biden [bleep]-me pumps. [laughter and cheering] >> jon: i got to tell you, i think he's going to...
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Mar 12, 2024
03/24
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desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is.campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ - students, i would love to introduce you all to the future, mkay? starting today, our school will be operating entirely on intellilink. now whenever you need to see the school nurse or talk to me, your counselor, you can simply sign up using this simple integrated portal. [click] mkay. [click] [click click] you can use a commuter or any of the intellilink panels which are located throughout the school. let's say you're in the cafeteria, mkay, and you start coughing up blood and need to see the nurse. you just click on school cl
desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is.campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪...
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Mar 12, 2024
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desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is.ent employees, but he creates an account for his own campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ kyle and stan: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ learng day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - [muffled singing] - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ when you smell the amazing scent of gain flings... time stops. (♪♪) and you realize you're in love... steve? with a laundry detergent. (♪♪) gain flings. seriously good scent. ♪ "bye bye macadam" by rone ♪ so, what is the next big thing? well, galaxy believes the next big thing is you. me? yes. look at you, you are open to experiment. you open your heart. i have a play this weekend. (she smiles) and with the power of galaxy ai, you'll open even more possibilities.
desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is.ent employees, but he creates an account for his own campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ kyle and stan: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ learng day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪...
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Mar 19, 2024
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[cheers and applause] we'll start with our very own desi lydic and michael kosta! desi, welcome.election season? >> jon, i'm going to be spending the next nine months here in a michigan diner, because diners are where real americans eat. the people are good to come of the menus are sticky, and the chickens have fingers. >> and i'll be in the same diner as desi, but the realer part of the diner. not the booth section, with all the coastal elite democrats and their fancy back support. i'll be spending the campaign at the counter with the trump voters, because realer americans want to sit at the bar stool on their coats. jon? >> jon: michael, what do trump voters think about this election? >> they're excited for president trump to win the presidency a third time and enact his agenda. >> jon: the border wall, tariffs, that's what they're excited for? >> no, i would say the vengeance. total and utter vengeance. one woman i met, irene, retired nurse, she said she hopes that trump will, quote, "split the skies and rain fire upon the states of blue, his terrible blade sundering his enemi
[cheers and applause] we'll start with our very own desi lydic and michael kosta! desi, welcome.election season? >> jon, i'm going to be spending the next nine months here in a michigan diner, because diners are where real americans eat. the people are good to come of the menus are sticky, and the chickens have fingers. >> and i'll be in the same diner as desi, but the realer part of the diner. not the booth section, with all the coastal elite democrats and their fancy back support....