content from brilliant fat activist authors like kate harding and marianne kirby and leslie kinzel. authors who were arguing powerfully. being fat is not bad, it's just a way. some bodies happen to be. and i was instantly by that. politically, i found it incredibly compelling liberate amazing and i kept for 25 years and i think that even though it seems contradictory is a familiar story to many people who are simultaneously absorbing positive messages in these online spaces and really negative messages that mean we're kind of caught in this ambivalent relationship of, really wanting perhaps to embrace the way our bodies are and break up with diet culture and really come to grips with our internalized fatphobia, especially as a larger and i've been much larger than i currently am in my life. that is an area, you know, i really needed to wrestle with what felt like a kind of judgment of my own body that was shameless, especially when i was in a a larger fat body. but the that we're also absorbing these images of thin bodies being lionized, idealized and valorized at the same time mean