you were very jealous and that you manipulated him into committing murder. >> i was not jealous of micaela diary but that was way long early in our relationship. it never was brought up again. nothing of a recent. >> did you ever say to him, get rid of her? >> no i -- >> get rid of her, or you will lose me. >> didn't say to her or me? >> no. >> didn't give him that choice? >> absolutely not. >> and then, we talked about the night of march 3rd, 2011. when she and cody took mickie to the desert and ended her life. >> when you put yourself back there, in your memory, what does that feel like inside? >> my heart just sings and, you know, to be honest it's like it takes my breath away. i feel like it's hard to breathe and everything. it's not something, you know, you want to sit there and think about. >> there are different stories. that's why have to ask these questions. >> right. >> and you hit her with a shovel? >> yes. >> why? >> because i was told to. i did not want to do anything to her or anything. he kept telling me over, and over again. just do it. it's okay, just do it. and, i just re