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May 21, 2024
05/24
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michael kosta! michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] what are you doing here, jordan? we're trying to let people know that michael is hosting the rest of the week. >> the rest of the week? that's, like, a million years from now. let me tell you what's happening minutes from now. my special, "jordan klepper fingers the pulse: moscow tools" will be airing right after this. let me tell you, it's hilarious, informative, award-winning probably. [cheers and applause] i mean, i went to estonia and interviewed the prime minister. so enjoy your little "hosting" week. >> okay, well, look, i plan on it. because while you were off jet-setting to the tropical paradise in sunny estonia, some of us -- me -- were pulling all-nighters at the office, preparing for the rest of the week. >> you were pulling all-nighters? >> you think can jon hear me right now? >> maybe? frankly, i don't know how old people's ears work. >> well, then yes. yes. but not to prepare for the show. i stayed up all night mining crypto. it's cheaper if i use the studio's power supply. >> jon: hey, good job, guys!
michael kosta! michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] what are you doing here, jordan? we're trying to let people know that michael is hosting the rest of the week. >> the rest of the week? that's, like, a million years from now. let me tell you what's happening minutes from now. my special, "jordan klepper fingers the pulse: moscow tools" will be airing right after this. let me tell you, it's hilarious, informative, award-winning probably. [cheers and applause] i mean,...
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May 23, 2024
05/24
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[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about! joe biden has a new fan, donald trump is afraid for his life, and rfk jr. is reaching out to the only people weirder than he is. so let's get into all of it, with our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with polls. there's a new one every 15 minutes. even though none of us have ever met a single person who has participated in one, but whatever, someone's doing them! but a new poll out today reminds us that, no matter how dumb our leaders are, we the people are even dumber. >> "the guardian" did, like, a commissioned harris poll for americans and how they feel about the economy. 55% say the economy is shrinking. 56% say the economy is in recession, which, you know, we know on cnbc is not the case. >> 49% believe the s&p is down for the year. >> i know. >> which seems incredible. >> which it's up about 13% and 23% last year. 49% also say unemployment is at a 50 year high. in fact, unemployment is
[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about! joe biden has a new fan, donald trump is afraid for his life, and rfk jr. is reaching out to the only people weirder than he is. so let's get into all of it, with our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with polls. there's a new one every 15 minutes. even though none of us have ever met a...
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michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out who's winning the latest war in hip hop. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] you don't need the same duracell batteries that help power williams racing... (engine roaring) (screaming) ...until you do. (screaming) duracell is a proud partner of williams racing. ♪ this makes no sense. what has lunch become? we deserve better. this is popeyes new golden bbq sandwich - so sweet and tangy. let's bring flavor back! bring taste back! let's bring lunch back! we don't make sense. we make chicken. ♪ love that chicken from popeyes ♪ ( ♪♪ ) you made a cow! actually it's a piggy bank. my inspiration to start saving. how about a more solid way to save? i'm listening. well, bmo helps get your savings habit into shape with a cash reward every month you save. both: cash reward? and there's a cash bonus when you open a new checking account to get you started. wow. anything you can't do? ( ♪♪ ) mugs. ♪ bmo ♪ he needs protection t
michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out who's winning the latest war in hip hop. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] you don't need the same duracell batteries that help power williams racing... (engine roaring) (screaming) ...until you do. (screaming) duracell is a proud partner of williams racing. ♪ this makes no sense. what has lunch become? we deserve better. this is popeyes new golden bbq sandwich - so sweet and tangy. let's bring flavor back!...
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May 24, 2024
05/24
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[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about! summer vacation is coming up, nikki haley is giving up, and the supreme court might face consequences. but don't worry, they won't face any consequences. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we start tonight with the fundamental battle of the ages. not the one between good and evil. evil won that immediately. i'm talking about the fight between marijuana and alcohol. alcohol has had the upper hand for decades, but now it appears that marijuana is pulling ahead. >> well, for the first time ever, daily marijuana use is outpacing daily alcohol use. >> this is according to a new national study. millions of people in the u.s. report using marijuana daily or nearly every day, according to the national survey on drug use and health. those people now outnumber those who say they are daily or near-daily drinkers of alcohol. >> michael: that's right. daily pot smokers are beating daily alcohol drinkers in the race to see who can escape
[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about! summer vacation is coming up, nikki haley is giving up, and the supreme court might face consequences. but don't worry, they won't face any consequences. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we start tonight with the fundamental battle of the ages. not the one between good and evil. evil won that immediately. i'm talking about the...
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May 22, 2024
05/24
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this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we have so much to talk about tonight: rudy giuliani wants to be your barista, scarlett johansson does not want to be your ai, and we find out why kamala harris talks like that. but first, some major developments from the donald trump trial, so let's get right into it, in another edition of america's most tremendously wanted. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> michael: big news today: the trump trial is coming to an end, and just like stormy daniels said, it was over much more quickly than expected. and we've heard from so many people during this trial: this blonde blob, this other blob, this one blob with the mustache. you know, it's just too bad no one has invented cameras yet. but we haven't heard from the biggest blob of them all: donald trump, who's been going around telling anybody who will listen that he is just itching to testify under oath. >> i would
this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we have so much to talk about tonight: rudy giuliani wants to be your barista, scarlett johansson does not want to be your ai, and we find out why kamala harris talks like that. but first, some major developments from the donald trump trial, so let's get right into it, in another edition of america's most...
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michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out who's winning the latest war in hip hop. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] you don't need the same duracell batteries that help power williams racing... (engine roaring) (screaming) ...until you do. (screaming) duracell is a proud partner of williams racing. ♪ it makes no sense that some people forget lunch. at popeyes, we say go crispy. go bold. go memorable. we say let's bring lunch back. we don't make sense. we make chicken. ♪ love that chicken from popeyes ♪ welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show." you know, the news is so serious these days. what we could really use is a palate cleanser, like a fun pop culture story. and luckily, there was some big news this weekend
michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out who's winning the latest war in hip hop. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] you don't need the same duracell batteries that help power williams racing... (engine roaring) (screaming) ...until you do. (screaming) duracell is a proud partner of williams racing. ♪ it makes no sense that some people forget lunch. at popeyes, we say go crispy. go bold. go memorable. we say let's bring lunch back. we don't make...
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May 16, 2024
05/24
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michael kosta, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll fight about sports. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ is you with me now? ♪ ♪ then biggie-biggie-bounce ♪ ♪ i know you dig the way ♪ ♪ i sw-sw-switch my style ♪ (holla) ♪ people sing around ♪ ♪ now people gather 'round ♪ ♪ now people jump around ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ doesn't leave white residue on clothes, and fights odor for 72 hours. for your pits, privates, chest, thighs, and feet! how do they do it? get native. hey, can you guys... make room for one more? of course! sam adams summer ale. light and citrusy. perfect for summer. marco! polo! [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." there's been a lot of sports news recently, so for some thoughtful, nuanced debate, we turn to "sports war." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: get ready for battle. it is time for "sportswear," brought to you by gambling. gambling. it is literally free money. [cheers and applause]
michael kosta, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll fight about sports. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ is you with me now? ♪ ♪ then biggie-biggie-bounce ♪ ♪ i know you dig the way ♪ ♪ i sw-sw-switch my style ♪ (holla) ♪ people sing around ♪ ♪ now people gather 'round ♪ ♪ now people jump around ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ doesn't leave white residue on...
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May 16, 2024
05/24
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michael kosta, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll fight about sports. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ is you with me now? ♪ ♪ then biggie-biggie-bounce ♪ ♪ i know you dig the way ♪ ♪ i sw-sw-switch my style ♪ (holla) ♪ people sing around ♪ ♪ now people gather 'round ♪ ♪ now people jump around ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ i love this place, but i need better credit. bad credit? you could just open a new card. but you kinda need... ugh. sfx: [phone buzz] wow, i could build my credit that fast? nice. everything you need to outsmart the system. intuit credit karma. do you guys think we come here too much? ♪ your cousin from boston ♪ summer ale! octoberfest! winter lager! cold snap! nah! it's sam season [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." there's been a lot of sports news recently, so for some thoughtful, nuanced debate, we turn to "sports war." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: get ready for battle. it is time for "sportswear," brought
michael kosta, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll fight about sports. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ is you with me now? ♪ ♪ then biggie-biggie-bounce ♪ ♪ i know you dig the way ♪ ♪ i sw-sw-switch my style ♪ (holla) ♪ people sing around ♪ ♪ now people gather 'round ♪ ♪ now people jump around ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ i love this place, but i need better credit. bad credit?...
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May 21, 2024
05/24
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kosta. here it is, your "moment of zen." >> when i'm in new york, the amount of people that show support is actually huge. they do it like this. it is a thumbs up like hanging out of their jacket so no one else can possibly see. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> sorry. [suspenseful music] we're in estonia. they're training to fight the russians. do you have any more camo? no? ok. that's cool. we're just-- are you using all these leaves? yeah, ok, sorry. the crawling helps? the leaves, it looks like you're a moving bush. yeah, yeah, no, i got it. i got it. yeah, yeah. [theme music] [orthodox chanting] jordan (voiceover): america is heading into an election nobody wants, and the world has serious problems that demand serious conversations. however, after years of trump rallies, the only people i know how to talk to about the state of the world are old pals like maga edward. we may already be in the middle of world war iii. it just hasn't gotten real hot yet. we could blame biden, but we all kno
kosta. here it is, your "moment of zen." >> when i'm in new york, the amount of people that show support is actually huge. they do it like this. it is a thumbs up like hanging out of their jacket so no one else can possibly see. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> sorry. [suspenseful music] we're in estonia. they're training to fight the russians. do you have any more camo? no? ok. that's cool. we're just-- are you using all these leaves? yeah, ok, sorry. the crawling helps?...