it is so, i would generally like to talk to you about my contempt, today i also have... dad my son oleksa we had a lot of weapons at home, a jeep, and he used to go to the mountains a lot, that’s all, there was such a hero, he shot birds, and then the war came, and he was called up for this war, and he didn't leave, and he didn't take the little one with him, since we are separated, and i asked, i say, take at least a little oleks to himself. and i am asking you very much, because i couldn’t cope either, and so, from the first full-scale invasion, i went very deep into volunteering, went to the boys at the front, that is, i helped as much as i could, but i don’t know, i had such a simple need, i somehow understood that it was possible if i didn't have oleksa, well, with his asperger's syndrome and with peculiarities, i would definitely, well, something would be there, well, maybe. perhaps i do not know, although i am a very comfortable person, great, and i remember my simple feeling of wild contempt for the father of my child, i could not... cope with him at all, that is , it haunted me,