freshman schuyler bailar the announcer booms. i know everyone is watching me. i've known i know i've done this a thousand times before, but this time different underneath my crimson warmups, there is no longer a one piece swimsuit that women usually. instead, i'm a tiny little speedo. i'm now on the men's team. hundreds of articles have been about my switching from the women's to the men's team. transgender swimmer all wrote, some attacked me for my history, saying i'll never be a real. others say my history of an of an eating disorder just means i'm a deluded woman with body issues. many claim there is no i could keep up with much less beat other men from beautiful competitive woman to, mediocre ugly man, one commenter wrote on a national profile about me as i stand by the edge of the pool, waiting for the rest of my. teammates to join me. i'm 15 again. standing my women's swimsuit behind the blocks with three girls for my relay. i remember the confidence, the feeling of knowing i could do exactly what i had set out to do. i remember the rush of the natatorium