so before the truth and reconciliation commission hearing, i had already met these two men. the bomb maker had retired from the police force, as had all those old apartheid police, and he was working in a mattress shop. and i went in with a film crew into a mattress shop and told him who i was and asked him who he was. and then i said, "i gather you made the bomb "that killed my mother." and i was prepared for all sorts of things except for the thing that he said, which is, "no, i didn't." so it was really impossible. but, you know, six months later he applied to the trc for amnesty, because he did. and... you say, sorry to interrupt, but i'm just thinking about your reactions then when, having met him once and he was in denial, you met him, or at least saw him again testifying before this commission. and as i understand it, he didn't specifically say, yes, i targeted ruth first with the with the parcel bomb. he sort of implied that he didn't quite know whether it was sent to your father or your mother. well, hejust said, "somebody asked me to make a bomb, "i made it. i didn