seven actions, well, at that job there was also a pediatrician, we made a big questionnaire. and how much mom and dad talk to the kids. we were looking for an answer. well, well, why do children get sick? well, there are good doctors out there. well, what is there today, they asked the boys and girls. mm boy , most of all, how many moms and dads talk to you a day, the children wrote that mom and dad talked to them a day. you know how many 3 minutes got up, got up, ate. i taught studied free. we probably talk more. we don't have a child. hears. oh ours. children are smarter, we have our own problems. he needs to talk to someone, there is no one to talk to. well, this is what her children are accumulating today, our other children are completely hyperactive children. we have redeveloped the head today in a 3-4 year old child, a phone, a tv, a gadget, anything, it can be understood. yes, that's right, but the body began to die, it moves, it is necessary to have nowhere to put the energy, well, emotions are needed. quite right. yes, i want to know you, that's what you yourself, in general,

have the experience of divorces. you are now in the third marriage, does this mean that only after going through a divorce and having made this mistake, so to speak, you can teach others not to make these mistakes. i think not. is it good or bad, difficult question and advice to give to anyone i will not be good or bad in the family should be complete. well, of course, and mom and dad and children should live together. well, we all have a lot of energy in our youth, we do something so we do something . so on monday, we are all smart on friday , they broke firewood, and on monday. do you know something happened today right or wrong? well if i could return everything back, probably, let everything remain so, i don’t even ask if it’s right or wrong. i ask, does this experience of your own divorce help you as a warning to those you teach? thanks in talking to families helps, because well, as there are already experiences of their good bad. is it better or worse and you start to

analyze? i would do that, so and when it comes. now in this school we already have wives , sometimes older chickens and young people, and they try to start talking in families. and while they nothing to say. i haven't broken wood yet. they haven't been wrong yet. and today, when you talk to them, of course, you use your own, well, right or wrong experience. can we name a discount, let's say three points, and what husbands should exclude from their behavior, that's what you say about topics that you want to get married, so they are going to, and now you say, look, this is dangerous. this is not worth it. you don't expect this. we don't usually tell them that. i come to those who have already made a vile application to the registry office. they are in a week, where will they be husband wife, and my topic, where do children come from. oh, zotov came to talk about sex. no, he doesn’t talk about everyone, where normal healthy children come from. here is the most. the main thing is that it is very difficult to

give everyone advice and no one succeeds, and we start talking mom and dad should be healthy since moms, and dad should be able to give in to each other as mom. papa even hear each other. we all make mistakes in life. better not worse. well, we all have problems. if you don't learn to understand it, you'll hear it give way the art of a woman, of course, we say, if a woman is not an actress, she loses a lot in life. should she be able to behave properly? not everyone knows how to let them come in the morning beautifully. today we even say in this lesson that in order to learn how to drive a car, you need to study for at least six months, to be a doctor or a physicist, you need to study a lot to be a chemist, and to be a mother or husband, or he needs. in general, you can not learn how it is often drawn. your school is the people who are going to get married. or those people who are already in marital relationships, but on the brink of divorce

come to school to go and those when we say only the school is not quite. so why did the city of naberezhnye chel follow the principle of not creating a husband and wife school about creating this system. what is the system? today i come to the registry office to those who have applied. they say where do babies come from after me. here we come, psychologists, they say, where do families come from. what should be the future father or mother? how to resolve conflicts in this regard. here comes the best dad of our country, who allowed from the fathers and he says, men, this is how a man should be. today is the first stage today. they get married. in the evening, a specialist from the same school comes, and he works with those who have decided to get divorced, and he carefully works with them with a large audience or with each individually, individually happy we are all the same today, and when there are problems, behind closed doors a psychologist who knows the family and family

policy begins to work, but the young people who come to the registry office did the right thing for us remark drawings nikolayevich and what are you doing with us ? we have already gone through everything without you and came to the registry office because 25-30 percent of pregnant women come to the registry office today. they have already solved many problems. and why does he not start a conversation with students and 5 years ago they came to the students of the pedagogical university, how much they want to hear these conversations. yes, what will mom talk to them about love about difficult questions with her daughter or son. and here we have to talk experts. it's great. we have learned the students of pedagogical university, and students came to high school students at school and starts discussing these topics with them, this is a conversation. they are closer in age. they can say that to each other. here is the solution to the problem alexander nikolaevich and here are the results that you now have in your school for this wonderful initiative. uh, is there any hmm some

observation let's say about the systemic nature of the reasons for divorce. well, for example, there from one to five years. it did not agree characters from 5 to 10 did not live up to each other's expectations, and after ten just tired of each other tired. and there, well, every year we do 100-200 300 questionnaires about the reasons for divorces. this is the most important thing and almost 35-40% of the main thing is interest. today. this is when it was alcoholism addiction still today no today, fourth fifth place in the first place is a misunderstanding of each other. two people came, and i love you, and you love me. that's love. this is not yet the love of support met, according to the mind they see off and today the main reason for divorces. she is everywhere today and in the country of misunderstanding and the school that at all these stages. at the first stage, she teaches to see each other to understand each other. well, give up. here stepping is also difficult. before when this school started. i am the first two schools myself.

well, i can’t say that they don’t trust anyone until i sit myself, first i listen to the end. who says what and is it true, well, after the doctor of the school i myself. well, i have a tough personality. yes aries yes you are stubborn, straight forward. yes? well, well, here is such a person, but it’s not good. he's not bad. this is how a family should be. today. me too it's hard to rearrange a lot. but when i finished this school one or two or three times, well, you begin to understand the most responsible. what to do? he is at the end of the conflict. let's take a time out at school. so neatly written. we're taking time out, shut up and i'll shut up. but take this timeout. it is very difficult. you need to learn this, in 15-20 minutes or in the morning, and the problem will be solved by itself and there is no need to resolve it, i say, psychologists. here sometimes you need to be silent next to each other, and the whole problem will be solved, as far as yours is concerned. uh, first marriages. you. eh, so to speak, they explained the reason for your

divorces in the fact that your spouses sooner or later for some reason became leaders, that is, literally them. eh, the field of activity, was introduced into your family life, or after all, once they began to lead you here, it became especially difficult to give in, or i have a special way of thinking. in relation to women leaders, i don’t know how to say it correctly, well, five or six times, the city of naberezhny man, about specialists, m-m sexologists sexologists, but they didn’t teach not sex. they are they taught correctly how a man will grow up from a boy to a man, and from a girl to make a woman and what a woman is . well, this is a woman with a violation of the trans-role function, not every man wants a boss next to him, even a man, of course, and when

they say, well, they say many people know nikolaevich you know, i come home. i'm completely different. here i am now the chief, i came home. and that doesn't happen. these are fairy tales for someone, if you are the boss here, that is, here the chief is destruction for the family. for children to be healthy, parents must learn to take care of their mother. dad should be healthy since mom and dad should be able to give in to each other moms, pavlova to hear each other. he believes that sometimes, in order to save a family, you need to learn acting. if a woman loses a lot in life, even the ability to talk to each other will not always help in solving family problems. sometimes you need to be silent next to each other, and all problems will be solved by the school of family happiness alexander zotov your 30th wife she is

a psychologist by education, as i understand it, yes, that is, she has no chance of growing up to some kind of managerial employee, if she grows up to a managerial employee, then i’m aries, that is, she must somehow hold her career plans are not easy for her with me, i want to say right away, yes, but psychologists are people who give advice. you must behave like this. it should. i do not believe that the advice would be better, well give advice. this is the most thankless job. after all, you give these tips, just your school will come out handing out advice the other day an interesting article appeared. i'm at work. here's someone from home. better to be husband and wife. just don't give advice. we periodically have difficult situations when everyone takes time out for them to try. so how do you try to talk? well, the same school. you can wife. after all , i invented it, i try not to lecture or lead there. occupation is two, two three brilliant

people. it's monty gendris. american american 25 years old. we live in the city, he is a doctor psychological sciences and his wife. albina how they conduct classes. it is delight that evokes me. this is how i should start. all schools and finish schools i take a guitar and read poems about his songs about the house about my mother. well, that's the way we should be today in this system. everyone has a role to play. someone invents, someone specifically does the work of a false digger should lead. and if you have, in addition to this work, there is also a scout organization, which, as i understand it, arose even before this school, yes, that is, you are very socially active person. you run, do mountain climbing, ski tourism, but in general, your schedule is quite tight. i want to ask, is this an obstacle to the right atmosphere in the family or vice versa? the more employment spouse, the better the toad out of the house more and more leadership, and let her husband busy non-

stop. well, in general, the busiest person has the most free time. this is what great ford said, and it seems to me that the man has a lot of work. i don’t understand men, we are here on the boom, we see four people in 30 schools in the city did it the union of fathers or the soviets four men go out with men talking business, where i said the organizers, including why i worked for 3 years from eighty-ninth to ninety-two years as an adviser in tajikistan at my place. she took care of boys and girls. it was just tourism and mountaineering. and when my mission ends, purely by chance. i saw a program that our soviet boys and girls in south korea are sitting beautifully in uniform and saying, in general, how great it is. they came to south korea to run and jump to engage in the elements of education, but the correspondents ask, but who were you looking for? and what is it? yes? you don’t know, they said this form, here we are about the children, and we arrived. it happens that at one time this

thought got into my head. i returned literally after 2-3 months, the organization was already dying with us. yes she says that she started looking for it, in general, what are scouts, in general, where did they come from? well , there was no literature anywhere. there were two first pioneer magazines remember i were such magazines beautiful. there were two small articles. who are the scouts the scout is young, scouts are not only in war, but in life they do good deeds. and why don't you try me, it happens that i get a headshot , of course for my children. i have many three children and five grandchildren, probably, in principle, there will be more for their religion and for them. well, how can odnoklassniki try such an organization and today our organization is 25 years old, but what kind of children are these other children the word patriotism. it's not feigned how they treat their city to his country to his motherland and the most pleasant. if the boy once wore a scout uniform and swore an oath and held up three fingers together i swear on my honor that

i will never do anything wrong. he will never do wrong. my question was , after all, is it good when a husband is so busy. uh, is there time to actually talk, hear each other , see each other. we started with this, that we communicate little, in general it’s good for everyone that my husband is so busy. it's great. only the husband is busy machine and not a computer and not a phone. he is busy every saturday and sunday know, the whole country i know at 9:00. i my children my wife pack our backpacks and leave together. this is the time when she is there for hours and talking and talking and talking and saying this happiness, and you and your third wife have registered a relationship. although you have. in general, a rather serious difference in the age of 20 years, and your wife also had it. in general, an unsuccessful marriage behind and it would seem when people meet adults. they sometimes think, well

why these formalities are necessary somehow, well, take a closer look at each other. well, let's not get married officially. and you've gone through everything, so to speak, yell. do you think it is important to register relationships for me and for my family. for me - it's important printing - it's not easy. here is paper. here such red tape is promoted, what is it? some kind of mold quite right. i am very pleased that i have a seat or alternatives that comes. we live in a civil marriage, when a family in a civil marriage a woman believes that she married. a man is considered free, but i'm a children's doctor, and whose child? and the child who , after all, he understands that he seems to be with his mother, like, you are not dad. and it seems that no one in school quickly recognizes them at school when we say, yes, this is not a father. it seems to be temporary here, we start today, for which we created from school. can you wife and why not just school family policy. here is the age difference that you have in your third

wife 20 years. in general, mm is a risk zone for marriage or not? or is there an age difference in general? in no way affect and the family climate is a risk zone. well, for god's sake, my mountaineering is an extreme sport. my job. you see, i have five or six or seven different hobbies. today is extreme things today. well, this is the risk zone, but let's do something to try to be wrong. just don't sit and cry. but here we are, the unfortunate poor. we're fine. works with you, as i understand it. here in this general case, in which you are engaged. yes, this joint uh, activity also has meanings. on this account they say that oh, it’s better for your spouse not to work together, because here just swearing cannot be avoided. and there is someone at home, domestic problems. and even here some do not agree. or vice versa, the work unites. we don't work

together when she's teaching. i don't even get close . i conduct classes at the registry office, she also does not come. you so agreed that no. no, don't come close. well, it seemed to me, but all the same, when they thought that we would be. well, they still talked about things. it seemed to me that a husband and wife should not work in the same institution. the cards should have their own work, their duties, so that there is something to talk about in the evening. and when we started together, everywhere common activities began to communicate together. it only leads to conflict. i think so. i mean, she thinks she's stubborn. that's how it is right, well, almost. that's not leading to anything good, and therefore we say, natasha, you have classes. and i have a workout. today, this, alas, calmly discussed the situation. that is, no matter how, of course not, they discuss calmly, so i try here. yeah pretend that i am so correct, of course, yes, the saucers

fly. well, we tried to buy. after all, as in tourism, i tried furniture and utensils made of iron or plastic. yes, so nice and beautiful, look. it is, well, there it is. well, for me. here the skating rink starts some problems. at the exit i already have running shoes, a t-shirt, a sports one, i need to go to training on time, yes, but you come running back, in 30-40 minutes my head is so clean. yes, and so calmer you start to smile or just in time and pretend to be asleep. me too option is a good option, but timeout option. let's listen to your spouse now, and then we will continue. my father taught me loyalty. that is, he always said that eternity is one of the main qualities. azov he is a confident scouting organization. this is 25 years old. now even more. and there were different times at the organization, it was better, it

was worse, it happened there somehow, but even when he stayed there, maybe almost alone. yes, he still dragged her, believed, and, as it were, developed it. this is very much for me. what else is valuable, probably reliability uh, you know, in difficult situations, i mean, we've been in the mountains a few times and it's um. this is a very dangerous thing. in general, this is such a project where you have to somehow cope with this yourself. let 's say, by the violence of nature, zotov never abandons his people, that is, he is a person on whom you can rely on a badge, on whom you can rely on everything and know that you will survive there, i don’t know, dry, well-fed, and so on, he’s itching, well , there are

none there. how would it say any thing he sees he says, well, someone is does. why won't i? why can't i do the same with my husbands from school? why not do it? why not learn even there at the age there, i don’t know, there are 50-60 years old. no, these are the limits that you can learn something at any age, and he learns himself and, of course, can teach others. it turns out that the starting point was your desire to learn how to live properly in marriage, but i understand that she made many mistakes. to speak well or badly? well, i want my children not to repeat these mistakes. doctor zotov believes that a stamp in the passport is not a whim, but a necessity when a family of a civil marriage a woman believes that she is married. and the man is considered free.

the main thing in solving family problems is to act, not to think. let's do something to try to be wrong. just don't sit and cry. but here we are, the unfortunate poor. everything is fine with us to resolve a family conflict, all means are good, pretending to be asleep. this is also a variant of the school of family happiness alexander zotov and how to avoid misunderstanding when here is a person for you he says, but you, well, you don’t understand, in general, where such stupid thoughts come from in your head. this is the main reason for divorce, i don’t understand, i don’t hear. well , i don't know what to do next. and how to overcome it in the first place at school teaches you to work on yourself. you sit down as a husband, like a wife, or vice versa, and we begin to solve the problem. yeah, you're difficult , i'm complex. how to find a common language? uh-huh it 's a huge complicated circuit suppose you don't do housework? i'm

here as a wife. now i'm telling you that it's not good that you thought you were doing nothing late, come and i'm here, i've been plowed, i'm going to the store, i'll cook for her, i'm after the children. and you can't even take out the trash. that's what you immediately made to survive my wife. yes, and you said if you can't stand it, yes, you didn't do everything and react. what are you yourself? you could go and do it yourself, here are the reasons for the conflict, after graduation, we are already wives, you told him, probably in a different way. it is so unpleasant for me when i come home, and now the dishes are not exhausted. i'm upset and i really want to relax. and here is my dinner. i did not have time cook. here he will do it. surely once you told him you didn't. you must this is the first step to war well. and if you said, i'm upset, it's so unpleasant for me that the dishes came to you, they haven't been washed again. you tell me here, well, it's terribly

terribly hard that it's rubbish, well, somehow the trash can is overflowing again. sit on the neck of her husband yes, of course . interestingly, he will explain in russian who should do what. no, you should cook. you must wash. you have to do it today, and the husband has to do it somewhere. there are families in which husbands do it. more. and if the wife takes on more in the situation, a lot. you should be excluded from the family quite right, i'm worried, men and women are the same, if it's hard for you, but we're in pairs. i'm tired too. and you are tired. i want to help you. even if we have

some kind of conflict today, or something doesn’t work out for me. well, i was upset that i didn't do something. tomorrow i will do the most important thing, when we are now saying that the wife's husband and children saw how mom and dad are talking and do not repeat ours. or mistakes having or positive experience? tell me, please, there is such a motive among women very often that they are right already, well, they are just exhausted in marriage, but they do not get divorced, because children are the right approach. no. although, when psychologists work, we try to keep the marriage. so all this is important, but if you have reached the point that you can’t stand each other anymore and this hurts both, it’s better to stop in time to disperse today. well , that's what, well, like in my family, good or bad. we, with all our children and wives, are very hard to live. all holidays are ours. it

's march 8 - it's the new year. this is santa claus. this is the first of may, these are demonstrations on saturday and sunday, because usually it is women after a divorce who try to keep, so to speak, a relationship with their husband, if they are reasonable mothers, let's say, yes, in order for the children to survive. oh, in your case, it's also your wives who tried. e to stay on friendly terms with you or it was your effort. well it's a difficult question so good, i'm bad. here, it seemed to me that these were both the parties are trying to properly resolve the issue. just with my son. i go to the mountains every year all my life. it must be the girls. well, well, good right kids. they are all his teachers today. they don't call every time. grandma came to bake pies. well, i love pies, so no. yes, who 's birthday? i don't remember who's birthday is, but here's a chapter. so you forgot that the birthday and the whole family is going to husband and wife. divorced not divorced. children shouldn't have to

suffer. uh-huh and we both sides try to do, so that it was in the family children. they have also started their own families. if you have five grandchildren, then about one natasha has two girls finishing school. linda already has two boys. well , kolya still has one third and ninth grade, but it's not evening yet. so, i think we will have many children in our family. now i want you and me to watch, uh, a story about your scouting organization, then we will continue the conversation. alexander zotov i saw the scouts on tv and decided that the flag with a white lily would definitely go up in naberezhnye chelny a quarter of a century ago, he created in the city the first scout troop in these years of the commandments of young scout scouts. helped a lot of guys. find the right direction in life. i have a family without a father. mom is alone. you know, in the nineties, and

here, in principle, if i hadn’t got into the club, i would have ended up in another group, where people were doing some incomprehensible things at that time, i wouldn’t i know, i miraculously, to be honest, got it. in the first association of young scouts there were only 10 people, and in 25 years more have been in their ranks thousands of boys and girls. this is the team that has gathered there for 10-15 years. i think that i would not be able to find such friends for myself in other markets, an organization of scouts alexander zotov came to the conclusion that it is necessary to involve the father in this important matter, because the problems of fathers and children often arise when men want to participate in upbringing, but they just don’t always know how the union of fathers appeared in naberezhnye chelny, dad, he

just doesn’t know how to treat his child. but there is this mechanism, there is this positive example, when he came and saw such fathers, he got to know him, he was able to take from them an example of one of the joint principles of the union of fathers and the association of kauts in chelny, there are no other people's children, there is the environment of my child. we are trying to create such an environment by the union of fathers so that every man every father notices such children and goes to the sports cultural creative event with his child and takes a friend or girlfriend of his children who do not have a father today alexander zotov founder of the fathers union and honorary president scouts, like 25 years ago, teaches the guys to be honest, keep their word and not offend the weak fathers help him in everything. look, but this is

amazing, actually here is the idea of ​​not having other people's children. it was your thought. yes , to or is it already so to say, alternatively. it was in this community that the idea was born that come on. eh, if i'm going camping relatively speaking, then i take both you and your friend and start working with scouts in five to seven years. here we noticed that if dad comes to help. baby at all the other is completely different and relates to the environment to him. and when it is said very men all. now, they don't want anything. they are watching tv. they do not want to work. it is not true. we ourselves arranged the work in such a way that we pushed the peasants aside. here is our experience. today we have every uh, year or two times a year there is a parade of fathers, not 10 fathers, not 20.000 men come, while dealing with children, since you have been the chief pediatrician for so many years. we watched. in general, quite a baby and have witnessed recent years. here. uh when hmm

in general, we can all admit that there are huge problems with having children. here, the younger generation is there, when i was there as a child in this, it was just out of the question, but somehow, well, a woman got married. naturally, a child soon appeared. now these queues near gynecologists' offices are all. we know this, in short, re. it has become some kind of gigantic problem both in our country and in general in the world. do you have any point of view that this is related to psychology, what is the problem from your point of view? for 100 years we have become 100 times less illness has become 100 times more disease, women have completely different reproductive health problems. well, after all, we, leaders, sit more and sit more in the car; we don’t move much in men, everything is the same today and the incidence is many times higher.