my parents thought that this was another of my many hobbies, and therefore, at first, they did not betray the importance. and what hobbies did you have before that? i loved pulling out election leaflets from other people's mailboxes and pasting them on the walls in my room. instead of wallpaper. so i liked to fill in all the coupons and order everything on them so that it was probably free. i thought the day was over. in vain, if they did n’t throw a single big letter into the mailbox and there were a lot of similar hobbies, so, well, i went to the meeting will also pass nothing, as from letters. and when they realized that this did not go away, when i began to apply in life what everyone taught me in sex, when i began to refuse to celebrate birthdays new year and other holidays, when i stopped communicating so closely with my relatives, that is , these the changes became noticeable and natural. they guarded relatives, but you answered that i

answered that this is the only truth, everything else is the devil. it is necessary to go only this way, as it seems to you, it is conscious in one way or another sections in action. well, this kind of tradition that arises there, it is imposed by the leadership of the sect. when you're there, you think it's your own conclusions. e inference is your own choice. but in fact , this is imposed from the outside by repeated repetition every day of the same thing, they inspire you that you need to please god in this way to please god in no other way, including in terms of holidays. it has a conscious purpose to say that these holidays are not good for you. sever relationships with loved ones as much as possible. i think so, and it's very fast and efficient. it is clear the first years you say, this is the feeling,

so to speak, in inspiration and so on, but the year passed well. well two there was no doubt. you have only strengthened your sense that this is the very right path that you have taken with doubt and critical thinking. not allowed. even forbidden are not encouraged in any way, of course, some doubts arose. well, there just wasn't time to develop them to think about it. you get up. on the rails of this life and already looking for you can’t go out in a day, literally by the hour it’s scheduled week after week and there’s no time to think. when did you hmm still study at school, because when such a story happened to you, you did not experience any ridicule. for example, those who found out about what you did not hide, so to speak, that they became a sectarian, but there were a lot of mice, but it was not difficult to endure it all. why, i don't know, i tried to preach. to all

odnoklassniki, uh students, uh tried to spread these beliefs. and maybe seeing what i've been doing along the way. uh, they didn't laugh so much, uh, but before you became a cultist, before these 15 years. what were your relationships like, peers, so to speak, from childhood i was considered a jerk both at school and in other places. and in general, it was not difficult for me to be different from everyone else, when i, well, probably, differed in some way from other people, to run around during breaks to pull high school students' pigtails. this is how it usually sounds. i would say in our class. i'm the only one who's used to it that i am treated in a similar way. uh-huh before i became a cultist, i was a c student. but the

sect somehow had a positive effect on my studies. i have already begun to receive fours pyaterochki more often, because again the goal is the same, let 's show our evidence with our lives that i am a servant of god and this has a good effect on me, you did not begin to receive higher education. still, higher education is not encouraged. why is it not that it is forbidden, but it is considered not a spiritual aspiration and on a person who, being sectarian. uh, getting a higher education will somehow look askance, as a person, well, who doubts something and sets worldly goals, not spiritual ones. what do you think, now what is the meaning of the prohibition of higher education, the person who knows less will have less doubt and less chance that he will leave the sector for some commercial component in this section. ultual donations, but i would not say that this was the main one, they sectarians take

something more valuable from a person than money, everything is property soul. you no longer belong to your loved ones, but are completely subordinate to the section and are ready all your time with all your strength. eh, and funds are also forbidden to devote higher education to this matter. and what is allowed, how to live, basically, but the members of the sect work. m-th janitors cleaners loaders in the service sector it is rare to find a person, uh, who has a higher education, occupies some significant position, even if he has a higher education, then most likely he received it before the entry of everyone who worked with whom. i worked assistant at a construction site, i worked as a cleaner of entrances. e so that the work takes only a few. hours a week you understand in your head all the time such thoughts that everything outside the sect from satan everything

is drawn in gloomy colors only inside the community, perhaps real happiness, true love is all right and real outside of it is all the devil. from childhood, he did not develop relationships with other children. i, well, probably differed in some way from others , since childhood i was considered a jerk by everyone who attracted him, the attention with which he was there reacted. i felt useful useful gave the opportunity for self-realization. certain thoughts and actions were imposed on him daily. you get on the rails of this life and already out of the rut. you can’t go out the day literally by the hour, it’s scheduled week after week and there’s no time to think escape is the story of a former sectarian. the fact that you did not enter any institute threatened you with the army, and how is the situation with the army, how does not everyone belong to those

who were, and it is forbidden to serve in the army yeah before the adoption of the law on alternative civilian sectarians were in prison. uh. it didn't scare me. and so, when in 2004 the law entered the village, and in the alternative service. i was just uh ready, uh, for the draft and doing alternative service. in the nursing home for 3.5 years as a ward nurse in the documents, it was listed as a nurse, because such a position was not provided for men, and at that time, so to speak, you still continued to go to the meeting. that is, one does not interfere with the other. it was very difficult with an eight-hour work day schedule. but sectarian affairs were more important for me, i quickly washed after work, dressed in a hurry to preach at the meeting. and so the service

passed very quickly, partly due to this, the week after the weeks flew by very quickly. in fact , the choice was whether i would continue to be a member of the sector, because if i accepted the military service, i would be expelled from there. and it was completely unthinkable for me at that time. and what happens to the expelled when an announcement is made in the congregation? let's say shiryaev is no longer our brother. they stop talking to the shalevy to say hello. he becomes a vile apostate and all ties with him are interrupted by none of his former friends. uh, acquaintances from the sect will not communicate with him, if i have a family left there, then even relatives will stop communicating. wow, you saw that. yes, of course, i saw it, but for a convinced sectarian. this, of course, hmm is not a reason to hesitate in something.

on the contrary, you condemn the person who is condemned, uh, who is excluded. uh, you judge him and think, this is worse than death. it would be better if he died than sinned. uh-huh. and you have a situation where someone close to you is hurt in this way or a girlfriend. i stopped to communicate, as and as ordered, otherwise it is impossible, otherwise you will also be condemned. well, that is, it turns out that the leading feelings are fear fear fear and guilt guilt you constantly feel that you are not doing something, you are doing something, not that you need to do more and this is very depressing and constantly stress. yeah, every day, that is, there is such an ostentatious external love for each other at the meeting. well coming home, everyone feels oppressed and

exhausted. yes, this is it. i think the worst thing in the sect. uh, this is hypocrisy you do what is expected of you, and not what you want or what your heart induces and hmm the sect deprives. e human freedom freedom in almost all areas of life. eh, they dictate to me. what kind of music to listen to? with whom to communicate? yes, who to marry, whether to have a beard, what to wear in everything i must obey strict rules. after all, after the army, you left for another city. why did you suddenly want to change, and the situation in my hometown was very difficult to preach. these preachers were well known there. i even counted in our city for one sectarian. there were not many 200 civilians

, and i decided to move to another area to preach where this teaching had not yet been heard, and in fact, it was more interesting to do this activity, people were more willing to listen. well, because they didn’t come across, to be honest, because rather tragic circumstances happened to your family with your dad, yes, after father's death. i was forced to take care of my babu cross. his mother and in connection with this he returned to your kamyshin. dad didn’t just die , but he committed suicide, what happened, it’s hard to say what really happened, but to some extent i feel guilty, because my father wanted to see me differently, my future wanted to see others. he wanted me to get a college degree, find a good job, provide for myself, become a successful person. well, i

chose a different path and it bothered him. maybe this influenced his decision to leave this life to contact before his death and somehow talk to you. ah. it didn't quite work out. i usually come on vacation. i came home only for a week to see my relatives to meet everyone. and on the very first evening, when i arrived home, my father hanged himself, right in the apartment, it turns out that it was done in such a way that you would know it. apparently yes, maybe he planned it in advance and decided to do it after waiting for me. this, of course, was a strong blow for me, until now the thought of it haunts me, but uh, having returned to kamyshin, i continued to engage in sectarian activity, uh, and devoted myself entirely to this event, this event did not arouse your desire. so

to say, to be closer to your family and yet. er, well, appreciate something else. well brothers, sisters, brothers and sisters. there is, the most dear closest blood, on the contrary, uh, at that moment we moved away with relatives not with my mother, but with my father’s relatives, because they allegedly accused me of my father’s suicide. i uh tried to persuade him to register an apartment for me or something like that, supposedly. i brought him to suicide. well, they had some similar thoughts. but uh, with my mother, maybe, not only because of the sect, we were distant. and also because you lived in different cities, and at some point, you got married, married a girl , too, who was, so to speak, within the framework of this sect. it was because you fell in love with me, or because that's how marriage is supposed to be. i didn't mean to, sex at all. hmm, they don't encourage

marriage. it's not that it's forbidden, but the philosophy is so simple. if you can, don't get married. be free to do sectarian deeds. if married, try not to have children, so that nothing distracts from the ministry. if, god forbid, one child was born, well, try not to have a second one. well listen and and it's not well, so. you were familiar with this ideology, but it didn’t seem to you that it was, well, strange. no. after all, uh, that’s the only thing i lived for, i just wanted to promote these goals, and before the question, on which here, you probably answered more than once, maybe, like a preacher, but it’s said to be fruitful and multiply no, uh yes, yes, but the answer is now the last days of this evil system of things to give birth to children in this evil world is not prudently the best to multiply spiritually, helping new disciples to approach god so that

they survive. uh, those events that will happen in the future and before getting married. i made sure that my wife, like me, does not want to have children. and only then we went to the registry office, because what is it, if you can not get married, you could not help but marry, you fell in love. here it is necessary. what a mistake. and your chosen one, she, too, so to speak with childhood was in this section. yes, my ex- wife. a has been in sex since childhood, and she continues to be there to this day. that is, you are vile apostate and she is there. he did not understand that the sect deprived him of his freedom, they dictate to me. what kind of music to listen to? with whom to communicate, whom to marry? does he have a beard to wear in all the most terrible in sex? he considers it hypocrisy that you do what is expected of you, and not

what you want or what your heart prompts you to do. he feels guilty before his father, father wanted to see me differently, my future wanted to see others, and he wanted me to graduate and find a good job. provided for himself became a successful man victory is the story of a former sectarian. you tried for 11 years within the framework of this sect, and why exactly after you got married some kind of worm of doubts, you always had a worm of doubts, but i didn’t give it, uh, critical thinking is forbidden for him to read some third-party literature then what the former sectarians write, what the great vedas researchers write is impossible, but there is still how modest he lived. uh, worked and more computer entrances of money. i barely had enough to make ends meet, i had neither a

computer nor the internet and, accordingly, it was not possible to find this information somewhere, so that with my doubt yes, for the wedding we were presented with a laptop from this all began. then you could not restrain yourself and climbed into the forbidden, secret from your wife, secret from your friends. i began to get acquainted with such information what former members of this sect write what other people write observers between them read this you should have accumulated some kind of, so to speak, critical mass of your own inconsistencies, which you wanted to double-check in other sources. what exactly by that time, there were a lot of such questions. uh, for example, what concerned the alleged dates of the end of the world. in this sect

, a certain date was appointed several times when the end of the world should be expected, and people in those days prepared for this date, sold their property , devoted themselves entirely to preaching, and then the bang date came no end of the world further. yes many were disappointed. of course, i’m waiting for you, waiting, the end of the world, it won’t come, and the strongest impression on me was made by two books that were written by a former member of the governing council of this sect. this is generally unheard of because of their entire history, the situation when one of the most important leaders, who was there since childhood, spent 60 years there, did just that. suddenly, bam was disappointed and wrote two books on this topic and i had a look at the situation in the sect from the bottom up. and what he describes from top to bottom. here precisely because of his books. i have many puzzles in my head, they saw that this is a use.

yes, sectarians. uh, they firmly believe that these leaders receive interpretations of the scriptures almost directly from god, uh, some kind of guidance and already in the form of letters they send it to the congregation. and this former leader hmm wrote how these meetings actually take place, when half-asleep grandfathers, and there are already such elderly comrades falling asleep at meetings. we must vote. here they are pushing him, he won’t understand what it’s all about, for what vote? e what in general? this is a simple human organization, and not god's, as i thought? well, why did you study all this in secret from your wife, because the wife is a close person at that time. i was not ready to share my doubts with anyone, even with my wife, and besides, i was afraid that the elders would find out about this from my wife, and then and then i could lose my

position there with some honorary duties. and well, and in general, it would be necessary to snitch, as they say. sorry for this stupid word, but still. this would be correct according to sectarian laws. if she snitched, and this is the norm, this is the worst thing. but this is the norm, it is perceived as god's will, nothing else. and so, uh, that's why i did it all in secret. in addition, at that time i could not somehow formulate an explanation, er, something to confirm my thoughts. what exactly i doubt that does not suit me. and how can i continue to be, if i leave this and, uh, i decided to leave for me the easiest way at that time was to leave my cities, so that no one knows about it and start a new life. you didn't just leave your hometown . you even staged suicide. yes indeed. uh, i thought that at that time it was

the best option for me, because in fact i was in such a state where either you hang yourself or the abyss you faked suicide and went on a trip. first , i went to another city. it was in the winter from kamyshin to rostov-on-don, because no one knew me there, it was easier to get lost there wintered in rostov and in the spring, as soon as the snow melted, he set off on a journey. did you tell your mother that you are actually alive and well or not? where am i and what's wrong with me it was really cruel, maybe unreasonable, but it was uh 9 months. i was on the federal wanted list as a missing person. though on purpose. i didn't hide, i used my passport. e-e worked at a factory and only in the amur region, and this is about 7,000 km from kamyshin, quite by accident, when

checking documents at the traffic police post, it turned out that i'm wanted. was anyone looking for you other than the federal wanted list ? to be honest, almost no one was looking for me. only one friend from the sect, one single person. and i thought that i had a lot of friends. on wait for me, he told me that shiryaev had disappeared. we are looking for him. that was the only person who offered some real effort to find me for this, of course, he is very grateful. we're still in touch, uh, and he, even though you're a nasty renegade . he, too, will soon be a nasty renegade. i am i hope yes and that was the worst thing for me to lose friends. you had the illusion that you have them. uh, well, at least it seemed to me, and when i was taken off the wanted list, i got in touch on the internet. uh, with all those sect friends. i

just got banned on social media. uh, ignore stopped talking. eh, and here i felt, what is this love, what is this brotherly feeling, what is this fanaticism? this, besides the books of that leader that i read, uh, was a powerful incentive to officially leave the sect not just leave. that's how i left to formally write a statement. i no longer want to be with you, exclude me from your ranks. you nevertheless made some attempts to adjust. just such ordinary human connections. there, i don’t know, as a result, my mother called, of course, the first thing. i got in touch with my family, when uh was already ready for this. my mother was very happy about this and did not scold me. and i remember how she shed tears when i congratulated her on her birthday for the first time in many years, after all, for many years. i didn't celebrate birthdays, but i don't

congratulations, and did you celebrate your own birthday when you left the sector? yes, of course i celebrated my first birthday after leaving the sect in the mosque. believe it or not, an unexpected place. i didn't expect it myself. we traveled with a friend in the crimea, we met on the internet. he was looking for a travel companion and we started traveling together. by the time he and i started traveling. i had travel experience for 2 weeks, but he had no experience at all, he considered him as a comrade, yes, he said a mentor and teacher, here opened up a new world for me. and so, it means that we traveled around the crimea with him, ended up in sudak, it was friday, a sacred day for muslims, suddenly i tell him orthodox. you've never been to a

mosque. let's go and see how the mass makes we came we were well met there. before that, i was in the mosque. and they tell us, guys, that you will put up a tent, somewhere in our mosque there is a special room for guests and spend the night there and it was just my birthday. see, but here you are traveling, mostly alone you you work part-time where you have to. and basically, like this. well, what is called so to speak, uh, there is no intellectual labor far from handymen. yes, and so on. yes, yes, but now , at the moment, i have a very interesting creative and even highly intellectual work. e in krasnodar as a loader. this is very yes, so uh, in fact, today, nothing satisfies and pleases me more than traveling,

until i know for myself another way that would bring me so much joy, yes, that's why i pushes your boundaries in a way. yes, life in one city is a frame here you can somehow how to tell me? these destinations, but the scheme in your journey there are thousands to visit. how many cities around 1.122 dollars, it's true you put in this scheme and tell yourself it's done, but it's not just for show. it is interesting for me to get acquainted with cities with regions. i try to learn about their history about their features and share with the readers of the blog so that they also see many people like it, especially since no one before me has such a task before didn’t set myself. that is, you have certain numbers. probably, as in every person so,

let's talk about your sins of sins. i have a lot of time gear vanity. stabia. pride. this also plays a role. but if someone had coped with this task before me, i would still be interested, uh, to visit all the cities of russia, and how did you escape the temptations there, for example, to want more money, tastier, to dress more beautifully, to have such gadgets, and also such a self i'm surprised at myself, but, probably, this is what's going on from childhood that i was a jerk. i'll probably stay with him. are you claiming that by now you have become an agnostic or an atheist? no? i am not a statheist. i do not deny the existence of god

or some higher powers, but i am not ready to take it aside. whatever religion. that is, you still have an interest, but such to him, and you have how it works. and how is it with you after leaving the sect where i was, right? i visited at least 17 different denominations, which are also considered secrets. it was very interesting. well just compare from a research point of view. and how they worship god. what do they believe, what do they have , while i was in one sect. i was not allowed to meet others. but it was interesting, in fact, this is what i was doing in rostov when i left kamyshin before the start of the trip. oh, yes, sometimes i go to worship services of some denominations, i am friends with everyone, i love everyone that concerns your wife. here you called your mother. and zhenya. you corresponded with his wife by e-mail. and she wrote that she no longer wants to communicate with me, since i left from those who are ready to divorce,

since we do not have children, it was not difficult for you to do it unilaterally. this is a serious loss. yes, i even regret that these ties are severed, maybe to some extent. i continue to love her. but it would be worse, in my opinion. if only i had stayed or acted differently. you don't try to knock on her know i don't know how to write. i still emails, says, you're wrong. think about it, think about it. we are fighting from these people, which we are in a certain state of the body. i am texting her. this is the state of the body. the women are calling. the usual smss that are sorry like this, but there are no answers to them, it’s clear that it concerns. in your plans, you, uh, sooner or later, after what time do you plan to put the last jackdaw, according to my calculations, it will be gone,

at least 5 more years. so you are now 30, which means at 35 you will be free from this plan, perhaps, but taking into account the hard-to-reach and closed cities, perhaps five years will not be enough for these cities you will be 37 and beyond much more, which is difficult to predict so many years ahead. i don't know what will happen in 7 years. but i may want to keep traveling and doing some new projects. or maybe, uh, i'll find my soul mate, and i'll sit in some small town in russia. anything can happen. if there are any new projects. there are ideas, for example, to raft along all the major rivers of our country. or visit all russian reserves, it would be very interesting for me to have such a feeling ivan forgive me please, i’ll stop here, that you have some kind of substitution, anyway, like these are all the largest rivers, well, somehow, anyway

, there is some kind of formal approach in this not because you know, i i know, i want to see australia. i don't know marsupials there, because you won't find them anywhere. well, some kind of sensual curiosity, or all the largest rivers. i don’t know what this is connected with, i’m not at all drawn abroad to these marsupials. but to travel around russia. for me it's interesting. or maybe the fact is that in general you went abroad, you can’t have more money. yes, it is. it probably also plays a role, but so far i have set a specific goal for myself. you see , when there is a specific goal, then hmm, it already somehow spurs on. she uh, gives some kind of hmm specific stimulus uh. it allows e to keep itself within certain limits. here and now you still need frames, probably, yes, uh, travel has become a certain replacement. e sex. i was looking for this

replacement and said, of course, on the contrary, hatch completely out of this system that has enslaved you for 11 years. uh, life is so rich in such diverse colors, of course, so many things without travel would not have noticed this smooth transition. maybe e. well, you see, hmm. what, by the way, was the most, uh, main discovery for me after leaving the sect, that the world is colored, not black and white, as i imagined, that people are generally good, uh, endless responsive. eh, here. this was the main discovery of my journey that i will add up on the road. has come the moment when he had doubts about the correctness of the teachings of the sect, secret from his wife, secret from friends. i began to get acquainted with such information that former members of this sect write. after leaving everyone, he learned the true essence of former friends.

i just got banned on social media. uh, ignore stopped talking. eh, and here i felt, what is this love, what is this brotherly feeling, what is this fanaticism? first of all, he tried to build a relationship with my mother, i remember how she shed tears when i led her for the first time in many years, happy birthday to pobeda story former sectarian. you e once a year come to the meeting of your sect, as i know, yes, this is some special day. yes, this is the only religious holiday they celebrate in the spring. why are you going there? for me. it's, well, some kind of entertainment, some kind of annual performance. here, perhaps, even a way to overcome. e, step by step to overcome. that's the sectarian mindset that i had before. well, i'm interested. it is

sometimes to visit old friends. although i am no longer a friend to them pulls there. ah, to be honest, it's just make fun of. that's how i originally had the goal of coming there, but everything turned out differently. now i'm making up for lost time. and how are you kidding, uh, the fact is that during this holiday, hmm, the symbols of bread and wine are transmitted and from these symbols? and no one has the right to accept such a philosophy there that those who will rule with christ in heaven drink wine and eat bread, and i come and drink wine and eat bread. and this causes sectarians. uh, such bewilderment, they even twist their fingers at the temple. is this bearded hairy man will rule over us from the sky, then in the future. well, just entertainment, as it were. i can’t help but ask you how hard your experience is, in fact there is this

sexy, from which i think that they really haven’t completely got rid of these consequences, but now, if today what kind of people are watching us -something the parents of children, or there, wives , husbands, brothers and sisters of those people who fell into one or another, that is, if there are any, well, so to speak, universal advice, but what to do, and what there can be no universal councils to help, because everyone has their own reasons why he is all who came and, accordingly, to help him from there? exit also needs to be dealt with. eh, in these reasons and relatives, it is not easy to understand all this, it is easier to read something to investigate and understand. just some kind of mockery to crush. this, of course, does not lead to good results. uh, if a person himself does not want to understand, uh, in the teachings of his sect, it is unlikely that he will be able to help him effectively with something. uh, if all those are good for him, he is from there

won't leave. i think that the main push must e come from the heart of a sectarian so that he leaves from there. they thank you for sharing. we want to give you for your travels. here is a backpack. i know you carry, uh, heavy backpacks with you, but this one is so small. it would seem, well, remote, he has a solar battery, respectively, you can charge from it, and all sorts of various gadgets that will be useful to you, because there you began to learn the truth thanks to him. and generally on the road. they are helpful. why here is such a thing, look. this is a water filter. it can be put in a backpack. and now you can drink directly from this tube, and it is beautiful in that you can draw water, even from a puddle, and it will filter it. cool. we hope that you will be so aware, savvy with all these items for all occasions that switch with you while traveling and let you meet

a good companion and maybe true friends. thank you thank you very much. endless forests on the shores of the pacific ocean shrouded foggy haze at first glance, they resemble the amazon jungle, this amazing corner of the earth is unlike any other region of russia, a special climate, a peculiar relief, a unique flora and fauna, despite the proximity of the winter ocean. here it is cold and long to survive in it with rum edge. not just the

far east really seems to the inhabitants of the central regions of russia, the real edge of the russian land, as the settlers of the 19th century called it, is very distant. here the largest country in the world meets the pacific ocean for 4.500 km stretches, the pacific coast of russia compared to central russia, there are few people living here. maybe that's why nature has been preserved here in its original form. the young marten harza rejoices at the first snow that fell at night, the harza, a very

peculiar representative of the marten family, is a tropical species native to southeast asia, the bright color of the harza distinguishes it from all other animals of this region. in primorye, harza settles in dense mixed forests on mountain slopes, usually far from human settlements. taiga will wake up soon it will be impossible to know. the largest river in the far east, its basin covers a vast territory of almost 2 million square kilometers and is located on the territory of three russian states, china and mongolia. now the amur delta is still tightly blocked by the drifting ice of the sea of ​​​​okhotsk.

and this giant refrigerator does not let spring into primorsky krai. in winter, it is impossible to believe that the far east is one of the richest regions of russia in terms of the diversity of animal and plant species. amur tiger, the only one a member of its species that lives so far north most of the year in deep snow. this is the largest predator of the cat family on our planet. this one-year-old tiger cub already weighs over 100 kg. but i'm not ready to leave my mother yet. while he was at all.