stopped waiting for someone again and toiling again. you do not know me, i'm sorry. vice versa

again two eternities converged into one king again and mine with you in the dark. eternities converged into a

day. mikhail zadornov is a legendary satirist writer, light has finally appeared, at the end of the tunnel, only the tunnel, bitch, does not end, we quote his witty phrases and jokes. without even thinking who their author is. well, you really agree. don't even need to. you are even ahead of my speech. he is over 30 years old.

he came on stage and talked to us. about the most important thing. revival in my opinion , it will begin with russia. the homeland is not scanned by a computer especially for you. we have collected the best jokes. i like to put on what the us imposed in the late

eighties one of the venerable writers told me, well, what are you writing? look, your father wrote father amur an eternal book for russia, and you are talking about two ninth cars. looked at me and added. that's right they say, among the people, nature rests on children. he didn't hurt me. he just made me think. and that's all the rest of your life. i want to dedicate to refuting this completely wrong belief i read such a monologue. only we, dear teachers , have preserved unique people among you

who go to work without getting paid to enjoy communication, who still lead amateur circles for free, and chemistry teachers there are no teachers in the world without reagents and funds for reagents. they can explain in words how it smells, the substance released when mixing these reagents, and only our students can examination to recognize this substance by the smell described. only we have people of the older generation who trudge from their gardens to six acres. not from the 600s from 6 acres, they themselves peel carrots and potatoes with pleasure in the west, they are sure that carrots grow immediately peeled, cut into small pieces and with a bar code. the belgian saw we have peas in a

pod, he says, what witty russians you came up with such packaging for peas, we still have parents who do not charge rent from children for living in the house after 16 years, because we have children in russia, not heirs, only our parents take care of the children until they retire. we have unique women. only our women bake pies for the arrival of guests. only our women get culinary masterpieces from what is left in the refrigerator. if a guest comes unexpectedly, they will not keep him in the hallway, finding out why he came without an invitation. we will feed him without asking if he wants to eat at all or not? we have unique women i'm at the airport in yakutsk was waiting for boarding the plane early in the morning in

a bar. i’m sitting drinking coffee, suddenly you know how such a window happens in the dishwasher , a woman already quite old sticks out from there. well, how do you describe her, well, it's scary to look at her teeth. not just steel, they are rusty. and she tells me a phrase that nowhere in the world no one will say. she says, oh wait. i'll make you my homemade jam now. not a single delirium pete in any los angeles, not a single dishwasher will give homemade jam for free, they can do it only our woman. we have preserved unformatted impulses, large-format showers in russia on the bus. they stole a woman's wallet. the salary was small, but also blood earned. she burst into tears and some man suddenly. yes, i just took it out and gave

her 50 rubles. yes, so as not to cry. as a result, the entire bus threw itself off. and even the conductor gave money and took it from the cash desk and said, i still take it every day. this is where it will come in handy. know that only in russian the word rich comes from the word god, in no other language is there this mystery in whom god a lot that rich. sorry front row. about whom there is a lot of money, that collector is a disaster, that poor secret is preserved in the russian language, such which i personally have not seen in other languages, for example, the word bogatyr comes from two words of the old slavic gods, and tyrit, that is, the bogatyr is a man who has accumulated god michael please tell me, there is such an

expression as a mysterious russian nature, but what do you think, in fact, russians have a mysterious soul, indeed, we are different and when they say mysterious, mysterious for foreigners, in my opinion. they are very rational in the west. here is a wonderful philosopher. zinoviev is such a western expression, e, he does not seem to regard capitalism. socialism is called western. i understand this, as life according to a certain formula is the life of such biorockbots, and a russian person is different in that he feels much more. in my opinion. i express my point of view, it is inherent in us. uh, much more energy and feelings and examples. i can cite a mass, even in the russian language there is more feeling. have you noticed that well, let's say a line. you still alive, my old woman, yesenin, it is practically impossible to translate into english, because the

word is alive of such a single word in english no there is a word either alive or dead, that is, the west below is the life of the body. here you are either alive or dead with us who lived who lived who survived who did not live. e, obsolete non-perience, recalling, that is, we can form words, according to the nuances of our experiences. this is absolutely incomprehensible to foreigners to ambush. you will not translate into any language of the world, because from the word sandal to english cannot form a word for sandals. and in our country you can sandal, you can sandal there, yes, and we are not calculated for the west, but in this our grandiose, i generally think that the west hates russians for this, because it can not understand, cannot understand us and is insanely jealous because they are encoded. and we have n't yet. and if the renaissance, in my opinion, it will begin with russia, it will begin with ours. only in russia the concept of the motherland of the state

is different concepts only in russia they speak according to the law or justice. it can't be translate the world into more than one language, therefore, when they attack us, they attack our state, they figure out the germans that their state is stronger than tanks, more planes , more officers, uniforms, more beautiful shiny boots , than theirs is correct, their state is stronger, and our motherland . they attack our state, and they receive it directly from the motherland. they do not know that we have a motherland, but it is not calculated. the motherland is not scanned by a computer. only in russia there is a call for the motherland. nowhere in the world is this. here we thought you correctly represent the americans fighting in iraq with the slogan for the motherland for our californian. we did not have colonies, one was alaska, and then they gave it away. do you know why the tsar

said, we will not feed her alaska, what kind of colony that all countries need to feed ? we have our own indians, our siberian indians, the adyghe nanais have never driven them into the reservations, and we were aggressive , there was such a bishop. innokenty, he read the bible to the nanais translated into the nai language in koryak into koryak you represent an american the spanish conquistador, who reads the bible with simenol, never does this. therefore, they talk about mastering themselves, but the conquest of america. yes, they said if you want to be baptized, baptize, with whom you want to be, or the plague, than we will be a basil. don't you want to be fedor? our women were not executed at the stake. what kind of aggressive we are, we didn’t burn, glory. god the priests were womanizers all their lives and low. but

now you look, here i am on the beach in riga looking at a woman walking. i immediately see what nationality a beautiful slender girl is going to. such a whole eye eyes, inquisitive so alive tenacious at all men look in what glasses. uh, what swimming trunks at the sight of her men pick up their bellies, this is russian. eh, there is also a beautiful eye sluggish latvian already everything of the western education reform is all a man, such a dumpling is coming. uh, from the point of view of energy, chingachgook is coming along. you know this is such a big snake, here is a german, an englishwoman, you see, you look. well , maybe they immediately release their bellies, this is already useless. no, why choose, because

here you are looking at european women. you see the bilinequisition in profile just that not a woman, then the weather vane chingachgook big serpent. and they call us, they call our faith orthodox, as you know, for what we switched to latin, we preserved our native language. that is, those who love their native language are orthodox, it turns out that they are already the results of the war, they say i can’t have a second revision. so sort it out. yes, everything is possible, by the way, our crusades never went under the name. uh, jesus wasn't conquered by other countries. and now they have changed the slogan then in the name of jesus and now in the name of democracy everything is about our crusaders destroyed know where on lake peipsi? this was the first meeting on ice in hockey. and they are stupid, then they were still in armor, the raid

climbed the battle of the gronwald forever. they were so defeated that the crusaders never again went on campaigns against anyone. that's why they can't stand us. and today, even the results of the second world war are being reviewed, and this is also included in the education reform, because first to digitize our youth, and then to impose a different history and other views to destroy the homeland in the name of the state, the latvian is already telling me, you russians are aggressive. everything, latvia has already fallen under this influence. they tell me latvian speaks russian. you are aggressive. i say, why do you know that he answered me you attacked the swedes, it’s normal near poltava. how did they get there? can you answer me? these six countries were formed as anti-russian , so aggressive, which fell under the influence of the americans, they seem to treat us well now - poland latvia lithuania estonia

ukraine georgia six countries of the big six. and frant and the germans, and germany refused to france, you know why they are already with russia fought. they do exist. the west is a vermin that extends to us, that is not a film, then the disgusting hollywood, that they are a literary work, then the vermin is sheer demonism. we did not have this demonism. our museums did not have security frames. we didn't have pornography. we didn't have cosin. we didn't have drugs. there was no aids. everything has come. the west, how everything came from there to us . here the west cannot understand us, right. because we often act according to the will of the heart. the word will in western language is not

translatable will - this is not the will of an afridom - this is freedom in captivity. this is a legal concept. they have legal concepts, but no. here are those who come from cordiality just as they do not have the word feat, because it is in moving forward, but they have heroism. why do they have grandma's medals. devilish smart there is an expression, but devilish hearty can not be said people have always exactly we did not exist so devilishly as western civilizations. they are always smarter than us rational us from the word. west ain't no good happened words trap zapadlo. you know, there is an amazing russian expression, you all know it, but not everyone, perhaps, understands

its meaning to learn, mind, mind, smart mind should be in harmony, what is the mind? this is europe this is the west, he is a smart mind - this is a mind machine. this is the driver of this car, if the driver is bad, disaster is inevitable. here they live smart from the catastrophe of the catastrophe, and the east is the mind, but without a car. so he can't even earn money. east solid indian bums around the retired with a bridge between the mind and the mind can become only the slavic peoples, if they break rational thinking without losing creativity, because asia asia we are eurasia and the word asia from what is the meaning of the basics and i and europe are jews and opa we have nothing to learn from europe mind. yes, but no reason why we do not

learn from them, for example, to install plumbing correctly at home. they always have a tap with cold water, as they have achieved this, cold water flows. well, it doesn’t happen to them that in the summer boiling water comes out of two taps , to shower throughout the room. this is how it sprayed. in all directions, and you stand like this in a vacuum under the shower, it splashes on everything, except for they don’t have it on you, so that the strainer flies from the shower hits you on the head and you have to keep it laughing, because all people come to do it . why don't we learn from them how to make plumbing for friends, they can drink water from the tap, their teeth do not become like cave stalactites. and how they brush their teeth with americans, you have to learn how to brush your teeth. 45

minutes like this like a mop deck like this so ours and everything ran away, he had once already earned a creative hemisphere. therefore, they do not have such a number of golden-toothed aunts, which, when bunnies smile bloody in the eyes. why don't we learn respect for the person from them when the members of the government are from them? the most high-ranking commute to work traffic is not blocked so that the ambulance can not get to the dying. they don't have three-lane traffic on their roads. they take care of the person on sharp dangerous turns. if you don't fit in you hit such a polyethylene barrel full of water, the impact is softened by our concrete pillars. as a result, they stand, that is, there is no hope left. they have trash cans

all over the streets. their toilets do not smell like entrances. to understand if the toilet is busy or not? they do not need to look, it means they are busy. this is the ability to think and create. i think, i think, in general, it is not by chance that the russians are in danger that the end of the world will come on earth. and to continue the human race, the russians must survive. masai and chukchi americans will not survive in their the supermarket went out of power in new york panic was screaming terrorists. in belgorod, a year ago,

electricity went out in a supermarket. and champing with blows take your little hands off your hands. i took it already, when the light turned on, a loaf, sausages, lying in the right place, bitten on four sides with different teeth. and everyone noticed that when the light turned on in the supermarket, it somehow turned into a minimarket. during the holidays on the first tonight, all our guests will appear in masks, and we will find out very soon who is hiding under them was the new year in america

and asked and for so long it was not heard in a voice called, but the family will remain with me, daughter mom you and i are a lot of happiness so that they are even closer to each other. snow real stories in the costume designer in pure bulgarian said that all the costumes were over. i came last. she says there is a bride's suit. who were you at the christmas tree? here are bunny hares for years

friends. tomorrow at the first loop mikhailovich you can not explain if there is any connection between the russian root up and the name of the city germany berlin thank you viewer, advanced what went? you know what i've been doing lately is that i've really traveled a lot. and when i travel, even on tour, there are some moments related to our history, and it seemed to me that the story was different from the one that was presented to us not only in soviet times, but also in tsarist times, in order to intrigue you, i will

tell you , i was at the excavations. cities stood on our territory, 20,000 people lived in them 6,000 years bc before construction the pyramids were 3,500 years old. and we had cities, but there were no cities there, and the future swedes and normans called the slavic lands the country of city guards, and in the urals i was in the city at the excavations of the city of arkaim, where bronze was obtained by our ancestors 500 years before it greece came to europe what you know stonehenge on the kola peninsula these strings of henges at every step, by the way, well, just no one pays attention to it. yes, i was wondering, i have everything and naturally. along the way , he began to engage in the so-called. we ourselves came up with this word archeology of the russian language, because i'm not a scientific person, so i'm so fancy, i call it

fantasy, tired romance. that's it, and no one will complain. well, the humorist didn’t fantasize and that’s all. they laughed, but nevertheless it turned out the following. now i will say that. why will i be accused and anathematized? turned out to be in the stone age. all people were the first people , they spoke the native language, which was the russian language, that is, not only russian, of course, belarusian ukrainian. in general, a group of slavic languages, why are they remain a carrier? yes, they remained in this territory, where life began in the russian language, such secrets are hidden in words that show us how speech was formed in general. after all, no one knows where the chair came from. and andrey asked a question, very interesting where did the word, berlin come from. just imagine an ancient man. when there

were no words, there were atoms, there are sounds, but there are atoms. and what are sounds to me quantum physicists, they say you are right, the strongest sound is a sound wave went oh, i limit it. this is the sound that unites oh, and god sets the border it is only in russian that there is a correspondence even with a wave process. god this action was meant in the ancient world and there were other syllables, for example. brr, this is scary, and now the spirit of the raging elements among our ancestors was called ber in the man of the berg played out and everything was associated with animals and therefore ber was associated with whom. of course, with the bear friends connecting rod and so what is lezhar.

ha is a lying age, and the lair was swept in the field behind the tree, so that there was something to catch on to the snow and the tree was called birch. and later birch so it turned out, friends. my most lair place in the world, where there was the most lair in europe, where it stands, berlin and when i told the germans about it, they say, and we have a bear on the coat of arms of berlin . what happened next magi, our clergymen said, don't put a city there don't put a village you will wake up two veras, they put the village of berlozhya. then the magi said, you at least add the ending of yin, so that the female energy balances, the spirit of the raging vera was added and the village of berlin began to be called, but

europe is boys, they are women, they came up with the legend that eve was created from adam's rib, e, rib in russian, only the question of rib has the correct meaning - this is the essence of the rib. this is a question in essence, that is, eve was made in essence. like adam as a man, they will clamp the spool, and europe did not want to know this. the boys have come to power. and they threw away the soft sign berlin remained and what happened for two centuries faith splashed out on other peoples. and if it were not for the forty-first year, we did not restrain him, he would have continued to splash out. you look like in one word. how many interesting things are concluded, i recently realized why we live in such an unorganized way . for centuries, generations, we do n’t even live to survive, because we have the greatest mission among the slavic peoples. think about saving life on earth after

the end of the world. i understand, it's sad, some nod their heads, they say, according to me, for example, i will not be unfounded western, the so-called civilized people. if some kind of ataclism happens, money simply will not survive, because after the end of the world there will be no, they cannot live without money can. what difference does it make to us? what is the end of the world anyway? think about it, these are explosions of an earthquake, dirt, slush, off-road. it's clear. everywhere garbage will be lying around, there will be heating, gas, electricity, everything will turn off everything, that is, in almost many of our cities, the coming of this end of the world will not even be noticed. we are the only ones who can eat what we have. for example, go to the forest and eat. in the west, they don’t even eat mushrooms, they think that once it grows on earth, it means dirt, like this dirt,

dirt doesn’t come for free. scientists generally discovered that a very rare microbe is sitting in us thanks to this microbe, any dirt. we are sterilized inside. only we will survive. end of the world, what will they do without drugs without pharmacies. in our country, the majority of the population has not used any drugs for a long time, not doctors, the first one jumped up under the eye. where to see a doctor is not to a neighbor. yes, mila , spit in your own eye. i personally read useful advice from russian healers in a book, no one in the west would think of such useful advice. do you have a headache? ready lie down on the bed, take ready cat or raccoon. russian can put it on your head. and lie down like this until the animal attention begins to carry

its tail over your head. they are cowards and weaklings in the west, compared to us. even the message scares them that it will snow tomorrow. this is their good reason. don't go to work tomorrow. so, we don’t need to be afraid of them, if the mess starts, we won’t even need nuclear weapons, we threw snowballs at them. i traveled a lot in russia and , oddly enough, the most interesting people for me today are ordinary people. not film directors, no, actors, ordinary people know something that they often do not know. this is personal until you answer the question is impossible. well, let's take it for free, come on, here's the question who was arseniev 's guide to the hall

? no, well, that's it, it deserves your decision. now the passport is valid, but it's not scary to call us fools. they are all fools compared to us all, of course, something they invented the telephone box. they wandered them. but we were the first to think of how to call them without two kopecks. they invented plastic bags, but not even an american would guess that they can be washed and turned inside out to dry on belyak, i saw their

children in schools on tv. never write off. do you know why he does not know that you can write off the underdeveloped from childhood. they are stupid, not a single french woman would guess to roll out the dough with a zhiguli beer bottle or mosquitoes in front of sleep suck with a vacuum cleaner. you are definitely doing all this according to your reaction, and so that now fashionable freckles appear sunbathing in early spring on the balcony with a colander on your face. they are stupid. i gave our account to one german and he thought the back massager was an inspector. horror marina here you so often talk about politics, all your monologues in one way or another relate to this topic. why don't you leave yourself? are you in politics? thank you after all, we

who went to the komsomol, the trade union and the party those who did not have, who had the ability. uh, hmm to art went to art to medicine to medicine. and whoever they went there, and today they go into politics, in principle, those who do not have the opportunity and ability for something else to express themselves. they go in general to do dirty work in the late eighties. i noticed that we jokes come true. i'll joke about something, i'll come up with something completely paradoxical, hop, realized in life. me even the audience, who noticed my jokes. mm come true. uh, they send letters like this. write something good, maybe come true i tried. i didn't get anything. that is the title of this essay. well, some have predicted to call me that. so, first of all, the stars in the sky show that in the near future, you know, everything will not be so bad in many cities, power outages will stop, since in these cities the electricity will be turned off

in vladivostok, the heating will work around the clock, but only in july. economists have put forward a theory of how to make russia an evenly rich country, for this it is only necessary to distribute the rich evenly across russia to drive psychics out of the country for all the poor. as before, they will successfully treat healthy people. just good guys. you know very few people who react to this phrase. psychics will master a new type of treatment, removing teeth from photographs, as well as removing a criminal record using identikit images. but as part of the fight against smoking, the ministry of health warns that the production of cigarettes with a reduced content of cigarettes will be launched. in a pack, the medicine will benefit only those who sell them to a charity event all

pensioners provide free travel transport from two to four at night will please with its discoveries of art. the vedas will firstly be found, finally the sitter based to the brilliant russian artist. stunning yes, but it is necessary. you don’t even need to agree, yes, who posed for malevich for his famous painting black square. well, if only the intelligentsia in the hall. sorry hooligan. allow for you will also be found, and the one from whom he will choose his works. everyone thought of one student

anyway. we are now trying to look up to america. do you think this is good? not are we losing our native russian thanks. well , how can you say something? in short. me, when i'm still in the country, on the one hand, i'm madly worried when i see inscriptions in english , because i don't understand at all. why in russia are inscriptions in english? it’s worth considering it’s right from the people the country has gone crazy russian people, they say ok all the time but we try, and they brought it to the point that i saw two old women in the village on the highways in siberia. let me finish, uh, they walked along the bolshey one another, he says,

jesus is risen frolovna. so says ok nikitichna, and moreover, this is humiliating for the russian people. here in my opinion. well, we have our own russian beautiful normal words. right, our man is in many ways dearer to me than the americans never honk their headlights on the roads , what kind of piece of police is that? it's because you're speeding that you should be arrested. we have somehow everyone in solidarity against the authorities with the other. here's a filthy cop for you, so that you have no one in the right. this is where it doesn't work for you. american films now now i will formulate these are films shot according to the first signal system of reflexes pavlovna that is, he shot his buttock into the air , showed saliva, and uh, look more and more russian people, in all cities stalls come asking about russian films, no or

soviet ones, because they other americans cannot watch our films to them not interested. it's uh, they can't watch nikita mikhalkov, they can't watch movies. ryazanov, let's say. here, uh, well, the most such. uh, banal hello. enjoy your bath. they do not understand. there is no racing, no shooting. eh, oil rig, they need it, so that at the end the oil rig performed slightly scratched heroes. there prevented a farewell kiss. uh, schwarzenegger because up's jaw hit and broke and hmm we're brought up in a different culture. yes, we go into the american front door, wonderful neat people live in our front door. uh, but you can talk to our man. an interesting person can talk to an american, barbarian. you know, i knew, i have one american who argued that napoleon was defeated by the americans. not everyone understands. nevermind. uh, why didn't i even argue with him? i said, and you did it on your

territory. here. and he didn't argue with me either. i told him something else there, they say it was winter. so you drove napoleon across the arctic ocean to paris and the belarusian partisans ran out of the icebergs. and uh, he didn't even smile. they are patriots diary of an american soldier emails from the front. it’s only ours who laugh at this phrase, so the americans will not understand what’s funny here, but our mail.ru is dying with laughter. oh, washed from the front. had number one hello dear. today we have a holiday at our military base, we are flying to iraq. it is very far, guys, they say even further than mexico . they warned the team that the war would be heavy there. the sergeant claims that iraq

is in the very south of africa. well, the colonel, who used to teach geography, said that the sergeant was ignorant, and that iraq was not in southern africa , but in northern india. and in the morning our president turned to us all. he explained that the iraqi leader does not want to share the oil. this means that he is against democracy and now america's main duty bring democracy to iraq as we the american people are the main peddler of democracy in the world. we are confident in the imminent victory because we have the most modern weapons , anti-personnel diapers, explosives with the taste of wild berries, we can’t understand one thing, how to say iran or iraq is correct and don’t worry about me, dear, in this war with me. everything will be ok. i took

sun protection cream. they really are they seriously meek that they won. you know, it's like a professional boxer brag that he knocked out a bum. e-mail number two hello dear we flew to iraq it's really very hot here, apparently this is still not india, the inhabitants are not at all like indians. also only ours understand that here again abroad. i can't write. but he clarified to the colonel in the commands that it is correct to call the country iraq and iran. it turns out that this is such a radioactive substance iran-238. the level of education in the hall. yes, the sergeant warned us that fighting would begin tomorrow. he learned this from the radio. and what did he say with we will fight the british spaniards poles, but did not say on which side. of course,

the command frightened us with the fact that in this war there would be inhuman deprivation, dugouts, no air conditioners, and cops without showers, but we americans, my heroes, we will survive everything even if during the battle they don’t deliver coca-cola with ice. and in the evening, camouflaged carts with trunks drove into the camp with songs and screeching. it came to fight, the ukrainian chemical defense battalion. they look very nice against the background of the desert in their forest camouflage. all green camouflage suits on the heads of tree branches on penka's officers so that they can be distinguished during the bombing. some estonians, lithuanians , latvians, the sergeant claims that these are

tribes from american reservations that are located in the back of europe, however, these tribes, good, they brought humanitarian aid to iraqi children. estonians have two truckloads of baby food, lithuanians have four truckloads of children's clothing, and latvians have 200 truckloads of latvian language textbooks. had number three, today we took the positions for the first time, the iraqis were savages. they do not understand that we are occupying their village legally with the approval of the us senate. and the day before yesterday the day before yesterday. in general, they treacherously fired at our plane peacefully, the command that bombed their cities warned us that no one should surrender, the iraqi military tortured us terribly, they didn’t give them popcorn, they took away the dvd player forbidden to use floss to clean the interdental space. but we feel like heroes

and say the whole world has already responded to the war on cancer. britney spears is learning iraqi madonna has grown a beard and released a new book in bed with hussein. but the worst thing was given to us by ukrainian gas masks. they smelled so much of bacon and garlic that we decided we would breathe better and at the same time sarin. tell your son, dad, he will definitely return alive, if he is not put on, a ukrainian gas mask. had number four. every day we have to, it's getting harder for a month now, we feel the smell of garlic. that somewhere nearby is the ukrainian battalion of kimzashchit, if in the coming days the wind does not change for us end? recently, from this smell, our sergeant's helmet was spinning so much. that he fell from

an armored personnel carrier, the nurse gave him an injection, but he sued her for sexual harassment, and the iraqis turned out to be barbarians. they don't know that we are the strongest in the world and keep attacking us all the time with our latest positron lasers . for glitching enemy scopes don't work because those savages don't have last week's scopes. they sent us supernova helicopters that fly so low that they are not detected by any systems. tracking so the day before yesterday, what kind of iraqi peasant are you. which this helicopter made it difficult to handle more. shot him down with a hoe, the pentagon sued him for using an unauthorized weapon; he, the president, threw out 5 billion from the senate for anti-hoe protection and anti-shovel doctrine, since the past anti-

shovel doctrine is outdated. email number five traffic lights, the red light turned on, they turned out to be savages, the traffic lights went bad. we stood at the crossroads until evening. the sergeant says, if it weren't for the iraqis, we would have defeated them long ago. on the way to baghdad we met a lot of dry trees with twisted leaves, a lot of dead birds and insects and moles with bulging eyes, which means i passed here. ukrainian kinprotection battalion, well,

you really don’t even need to finish speaking. you are ahead of even my speech. the ukrainian battalion helped us out. can't stand the smell bow, iraqi troops fled from the city. after that, we heroically entered it. had the number seven, dear, you can congratulate us thanks to the resourcefulness of the sergeant. we captured 34 husseins, which is 11 more husseins. what captured the neighbor with us. a platoon of ukrainians, in general, they captured only eight, khuseinov, of which two women and one cat. all hussein is currently sent to the casting of the dnks, our hudein has pleasantly won in the jury have established exactly this he is now establishing who he is? but the president sent us all

congratulations sms he congratulated on the successful completion of the operation stressed that we america is a peace-loving power, so we will not leave the world alone. and soon we will carry it to north korea, the sergeant said, north korea is a lake in the pacific ocean, but to war with us. she is not ready for korea, they did not bring fanta ps to postscripts of the same day, looting began in baghdad and a ukrainian battalion unexpectedly attacked us. he tried to take away from us everything that we took from the slaves, it turned out that the ukrainians were not paid wages at all, they said, whatever you will be in iraq is yours. there have never been such strong fights in the whole war, if i don't come back, tell your son his father was a real american peacekeeper, a dirotic

peddler of democracy with you. such a basis that they played a major role in my life, and then, of course, the aviation institute, and i learned a lot at the aviation institute and, uh, they build ranks and potatoes and amateur performances. oh. even hold back on drinking. i learned her whole institute at the moscow institute. eh, i still

do. and i'm still a student. and so i maybe without any work. i like both and the third. uh, i still feel like an amateur amateur. excuse the expression - this is enthusiasm for the torinka in the eyes of me, when i remain a professional, i remember our amateur years, and it is the people who help me out. he's balloting. now, if in moscow you perform in front of some kind of hall so great , never any. there they are cool, i adore them. now i'm going on stage. in such a hug for yourself, you can punch a hug.

you know, i don't say anything on purpose words about america because it feels like i’m paranoid already on tv, but you know what’s interesting, that i wanted to tell something that the audience and viewers don’t know, an interesting effect turned out, and people began to come up to me on the streets and say we visited in america you are right. they are so dumb. i say, you tell me, after that listen how many letters i receive. it is so interesting to read the letters of people who have been to america and everyone has some kind of observation. i have a feeling that in russia they began to laugh at the americans

more than the chukchi. and such interesting cases the day before yesterday two young men stopped me on the street. they say we had an internship in america. you can't imagine how we remembered you every day. we cooked potatoes. they tell me, and they ask americans in the hostel. why do you say potatoes that you can’t buy, we take cheaper, they say, and how would you check the readiness of this potato, they say, well, we don’t tell them that you are stupid. and we tell them, well, like a fork. look here. i 'm afraid to tell you more, and then we began to boil eggs. do you know that i'm glad russia has joined the right game? well, we are laughing at the chukchi. but what is above the american lifestyle is a lifestyle, not don, americans, americans, kind, they are very kind inside, they believe that it is necessary to destroy cancer in a kind way, but they don’t

think so, they are sure that jesus taught when he hits the right cheek with a decoy, to the left he himself with a hook from below at this time they are really good, unprepossessed. they are up to an educated person very easily. send in any direction. they send me instructions now, er, which are issued in america instructions for various kinds of subject, but i have seen many of them myself. for example, i bought a blanket in america and there it was written in the instructions for the blanket not to use it. like protection from tornadoes. well, that is a useless purchase to make. as a matter of fact, everything. they also write all the iron in the instructions it says not to iron clothes on yourself. hairdryer in the instructions there is an entry such as not to use a hair dryer in a dream. have you tried a hair dryer in your sleep ever fitted, but in texas i saw, uh, memo in the cockpit, a truck. by the way, i first

i thought that i was going to the memo misunderstood, but then they explained to me that everything was correct, i understood. the driver, remember that the objects reflected in the side mirrors are behind you, not in front of you. and in the instructions for sparklers it says not to take it in your mouth. but everyone wants to know i have one thing, but stupid. this is what a degree of stupidity one must have in order to write a swimming cap on only one head. but i saw the instructions for the american chainsaw with my own eyes, and they sent me again. here is this wonderful process people in this process was included, i apologize, but i will literally translate, yes, what is written there. please do not stop the

chainsaw with your bare hands or genitals? do you know friends? that's when i tell it all, when we laugh. i know one thing we need to have hopes that we won’t become like that, and and in this sense, i really like zhvanetsky’s parody of me with one st- brilliant person. still, mikhail mikhailovich is one phrase, but he immediately destroyed me completely with his creativity. on the one hand, i say we are not hopeless, but on the other hand i say that, uh, hmm, i’m telling everything that i see in our life, and it’s like that in my homeland. well, of course, it is necessary to speak in his voice, finally there was light, at the end of the tunnel, only the tunnel, bitch, does not end. the whole prediction was finally 2018 russia was moaning from the 34th level of economic sanctions

gas depp the usa published the third volume with lists of who should not come to the usa europe drowned with firewood. firewood was supplied and siberia in kiev firewood was stolen by the united states once again imposed russia has once again imposed sanctions on what the united states imposed in creativity. i consider it my greatest achievement that young people began to come to me, and that they began to listen, listen, listen and hear those my thoughts that are directed. from how to formulate in such a way that can help a person of distortion to come out in truth? i'm not interested anymore. if they

pay me for these thoughts, i will take the money, if they don’t pay, it doesn’t matter either. i will express it this way, because the books that come out. i'm for i get very little money from them, so i speak out so that there are opportunities to write books. so let's say or meet, and to have a library, to have a library to hold meetings with people. and now, i think that it’s not honest, that’s probably the most important, the most important serious question is your forecast for the future of our country. more specifically, what do you think about the theory of the golden billion. no, the golden billion does not care at all, i must tell you. uh, because i'm generally rich, i have a special relationship. e, i have philosophy is different, you just have to get sick of it and everything will be uh, they poor fellows do not know this. oh, by the way, i'll read it to you then. okay, i wo n't read. i have nothing to do with the golden billion

. eh, i, well, this is parallel to my life. eh, they just don't interest me. eh, i totally know what you're talking about. uh, i think it will collapse very soon it will not exist, but to the future. uh, i must tell you that i made a trip around russia for myself. soon they will gather in streams, and then we will be in full-flowing rivers, and this will be done by young people, and i have very good feelings about our russia, it is not arranged or equipped, but it has the life of the soul, after all, i spoke on television when we look into the room and no one is there. we do not speak souls, but in english, not necessarily the body for them the body. this will be more important. and we continue with our language and move forward ourselves without feeling it, but i want this process to be conscious, for people to say,

no thanks.