yes, physically it’s physically uncomfortable that you fall asleep worse, but at the same time, i also like to eat during tv shows, right? well, you watch a movie and start eating. then you pull yourself together for a week or two - it passes, you pull yourself together and start again. now your weight is 64 kg. what was the minimum weight you reach was 55? how much did you weigh when you were 18? i don't remember this, 17 18 here is the weight, when you were a girl, even more more. yes, yes more, that is, i sort of threw it off, it happened there, and my sister said, well, as it were, it's enough to sit on the couch for a month by yourself. i started to lose weight and came to a weight of 64 kg. this will be the second third course. institute and then running came into my life. uh

-huh no, he came somewhere, probably at the age of 5 , if i run somewhere 24 years old was gone. i began to systematically go in for sports on a regular basis and my weight stood up, as if now, and sport helps. i have to keep it at the same level, but no lose weight. but at the same time , with everything up to 55 kg. you lost weight, in these 5 years. yes, you run marathons. yamal the distance turns out to be 660 km was in the mountains. that is, and even, for example, you will run an ultra distance or the same marathon and this one. well, you can do everything now, even if you give something away, well done. you are a new runner, but professionally you improve your time so, well, that is, i am an amateur, i understand, i run, i have an average result. well, i

want to improve my time, what is your time goal, for example, there, i don’t know such goals in a half marathon or a marathon. i don’t have a goal anymore. here now yeah it run to a ring around the beam with which i am preparing. this is my main goal, who is, but more than 1030, and not yet, there is registration nothing . i just want this, because i really like to be. i want to see plus from all sides. yes, this is a climbing ring, as far as i remember the mountain start. that's mine. if we talk about a sports goal, this is the main goal for this, you need to lose weight because . i run faster if i lose weight rather clearly. i really saw how my weight affects exactly the sports component this year ran in altai and for weather conditions. i did not

have time to reach the desired point and for the first time i had to make the decision to get off , turn around and leave. it was insanely hard, but i didn't have time. i understand perfectly well that if there was a minus of 4-5 kg ​​there, then i would be able to run faster, at least you think so. i think so, yes, here, and maybe then. well, i have more chances to pass some cutoffs and so on. that is, it will be more opportunities anyway, because now i miss this weight with me, if i would suggest that you recover to 85 kg so that they do it. for me to do. i don't want this. i know you don't want to. although someone inside you wants to be complete. eat uncontrollably to have a sweet breakfast or

lunch would have dinner. well, yes, if the goal was to correct. and i would stop playing sports. i was just ruled out and lay on the couch and that's it. so let's imagine that you live like this. here imagine that you have been living for some time in such a way that you eat sweets all day long and do not play sports or live on the couch, well just a picture like this imagine and tell me how you feel about this person's relationship. i am not comfortable. well, i was afraid of this, because now sport brings emotions into my life. and if i just lay at home, then i would not have the opportunity. i don’t know how to run in the mountains there, then i completely decide to eat this, but to the training camp with

friends, and it’s good to see each other there. and then i have a question, how would i spend my vacation, because now i'm eating sweets in some five-star hotel. i like would be scary, from this i would not want you scared. what is it that scares you about it? what i will not see life i what will be difficult to answer. well, if you do not have friends, you do not have the opportunity and reason to communicate with them, you are sitting at home. then why? well, then it makes sense to live if you just lie on the couch, eat, everyone laughs. well, yes, how would you like to immediately go to die, and everything and so on, apparently, death alone and let's talk.

it's hard for me, it's scary, to be alone , not to feel support from people, and here i am i was afraid of the fact that it is not clear, as if what are the distances at the start. yes, that's what i'm preparing. and i was afraid that i would have to go there alone, and not with a team. i understand that i can do it myself, but i need external support, and people love only slender thin and athletic ones. why can't you ride a weight of 85 kg with him? well, what am i going to do about it? well, i don't know, so i 'm going with my friends. coming soon to the ski marathon.

although i ski like a cow on ice, and you are not 100 kg. but, nevertheless, i am surrounded by people them with me. interesting, i'm interested in them too. that is, it still scares me, if i am 285 kg, i will definitely trail at the end and, well, as if then they will wait longer for me and that's it. i don't want to or they won't think at all. they, as it were, well, it’s understandable to wait a long time, respectively, they will leave. this. i am also afraid that no one will meet me, of course, no one will meet me, no one will see me off, what do you feel when you say these words that no one will meet me, no one will see me off. no, everything shrinks inside, where a is in the region of the heart. yes try now to be vkontakte just with this feeling. uh-huh and tell me what kind of feelings arise there ah-ah in the area of ​​\u200b\u200byour heart.

feelings i don't know what to put into words. i feel a squeeze feel goosebumps. they feel very uncomfortable, well, this is an assessment, most likely, yes, a feeling. come on, try to describe it to me, for example , in some physical terms. is it a cold feeling or hot. hot is it static or is it dynamic is it expanding or contracting or is it pulsing contracting? squeeze and ripple well, if you let me now to give vent to this feeling, what will happen. it goes away and it's like something opens up inside

of me. and, well, it becomes easier and simpler, then i can say that when this feeling arises, this sensation arises, you stop breathing. you seem to renew your breath. how do you think, when could you first encounter this feeling, when no one is waiting for you with this feeling of cold, squeezing your chest. don't try to remember in your head. be your feelings. can't tell when when you were 20 this feeling was already familiar to you students. well, when you were 15, this

feeling was familiar to you no. i don't know either. the student body was not so long ago it was 15 years old. why don't you remember? it was an excellent student , a gold medalist, and so on, a good, straight girl, but when she came to the institute. there there i did not get better. well, as there were much those who studied better and better, who had some kind of cultural life. that's where i cringed. because you ended up in a space of people who turned out to be better than you. all my life at school, i was a star there. and

they always gave examples, but tanya is better studies. that was it, that was it, when you were not the best, that you felt how people began to treat you. people did not change their attitude towards me then that scared you so much. that i can't be the best? this is what scared me. there is no need, well, after all, this turned out to be a very important motive for you. to show everyone how good, good, smart, purposeful i am. and being like that is very important now, no, why was it important then? don't know. i was afraid that

if i didn’t, then no one would communicate with me. i understand that we already talked tried. yes, some compromises have been reached in order for us to communicate with you and these compromises. as a result, it turned into the fact that it is difficult for you to talk to people, and it is difficult for you to tell people about when they act badly towards you. what do you feel now when i speak? anxiety about what? what you are saying is the truth. and now my hands are shaking. i feel. the feeling that, well, no matter how much i want to continue living like this, that is, anxiety adjusts that you won’t cope with this and you will live like that, yes, that i can't do it, that's all. remains we

diagnosed. now you will leave here with this conditional illness and nothing will ever change. i do not want it so. i know what you want. i'm talking anxiety, right? how would you like it to be? so that i don't try to be the best. ah, i didn’t analyze the actions of people, probably not this. i want. and i want to learn how to communicate with people. that's what i want. ask them to ask them questions to speak. no, i don't like that. yes, i'm so uncomfortable, don't do this to me i want this, but you are afraid that if you start talking to them about it, they will stop communicating with you altogether. and then again the same loneliness and this aching feeling in the chest, right?

but you are afraid to be alone and i drew you a rather terrible picture, which in fact has been present in your head for a long time, where you are sitting on the couch, plump there and eating these buns and eclairs. i didn’t just ask how you would achieve this goal, because in your head there is, of course, a goal, but to keep yourself in good shape to play sports, but at the same time , the dichotomous goal to get better still exists, and you are able to control it. while in weight 65 kg. uh-huh but, when you start to lose weight, something also happens to you when you have 55 kg and it seems, how do you like it, how do you feel? you like the results of your run, but there is a breakdown. so there is some kind of conflict. yes, and it seems to me possible that this conflict arises in me such a fantasy that this conflict is just the same with the very people for the sake of which you lose weight up to 55 kg, and then say, yes, go to arsenal. and you start

eating. i proved to you, too, that i could run, and so i went to the cafeteria and ate, and eclairs, buns, and everything else. because you get tired of being different all the time so that people perceive you and evaluate you as you would like. yes, it resonates with me very uh-huh he killers awakening the premiere of the serial film from monday on

first pleasure. this podcast triggers and with you. i am sergey on myself, he is a practitioner psychologist psychotherapist and today we are talking with tatyana about her desire to lose the so-called excess weight, but i would still like to talk with you about your loneliness. now i feel comfortable living alone. yes, i was very worried that i did not have a young man, that i was alone, that i was 29 years old. i don’t have children, but from the side of everyone’s relatives, this is also constantly present, tanya, when there will be children, when there will be grandchildren, but now i live and i feel comfortable alone. i understand that i'm not yet ready for children not ready to start, but i'm not

ready to give to children. that something i, well , as you understand, is not the willingness of nature to put you in the fact that from the age of fourteen you are already capable of this, i can’t imagine. yu . there will be a child in my house, for whom i will have to devote time. and i want to break loose at any moment and go somewhere not to be tied to something, and i may have it now. if a family appears, it will all be a binding already. on the one hand , you want to always have some people in your environment, but at the same time, you don’t you want a good long-term strong relationship because you are afraid of attachment. i want them. no, i want a relationship, but they are, well, i want to deal with myself first. wait, what do you mean? i want to, but not now. well, now you want and claire does not. no, does that mean

you want it on monday? no, i don’t know, so that’s why i’m asking the question that now and now you don’t want a relationship , or does it somehow look like. otherwise , you want, but i'm afraid that this word was the most correct, and not in such a way that i'm not ready what are you afraid of. i can't even say what i'm afraid of, because in principle, there is nothing to be afraid of. you are deeply mistaken. there's a lot to be afraid of, from what you've already said about losing your freedom, the so-called possibly, false freedom can really be free, to merging with another person. loss of your own identity, the inability to do the things you would like to do. well, you've been in a relationship before. well they were, how long they

lasted several months. at what age and why they ended and how he simply said that everything is fine, but we are breaking up and that's it. and how is it all good? how did you survive? it's very hard to go for a run. i could not do anything, as i used to experience all my negative emotions. i drank wine, talked to a friend, the next day. i realized that i could not take it out on my own and turned to a psychologist and had

two consultations. she pulled me out of this state. and something happened before my birthday. uh-huh and, accordingly, i sort of pulled it out and then. i continued to live. but as were you able to avoid relationships with the opposite sex until the age of 27? i don't know, i'm interested in my question. i don't understand why i didn't have a relationship until i was 27 . tell me what you did to ensure that these relationships did not exist, yes, well, it didn’t. it was obvious that this was also somehow invested. this is the first answer that comes to mind, because you can't say for sure that you didn't want the relationship that you wanted and i wanted, but when i ask the question, what did you do to not have them. i suggest you. well such a paradoxical look at it, so that you see your responsibility because the way you behaved. as a result, the result was

that you did not have a relationship for 7 years. she did not communicate, she ran away from communication with the opposite sex. what else, apparently, during the period when, so to speak, you ended up after puberty in the relationship market, when boys show, especially interest in girls, and you closed with your weight. yes, it's possible. did you look at other girls who were slim, who were attractive, sexually attractive in including, but at the same time did nothing for this, so i said that you actually have a habit of reaching 85 kg and doing nothing. and you can quite calmly

set such a goal for yourself and give a command to your brain that from now on we are getting fat , do nothing, do not play sports. yes , it often happens to me that i just did nothing. yes, but at the same time, you reproach yourself for it. and i'm talking about the fact that you can set a goal for yourself to reach this weight. and as you rightly said and die in alone with a cat there do not know two cats. well, i don't want to. i know that you supposedly don't want it that way, but some part of you wants it. and in my opinion, this is exactly the same part that avoids relationships with people and it’s not at all weighty, because as soon as you start to lose weight, attention to you is much more from the opposite sex, including cocoon yes, and your weight starts to protect you like a bulletproof vest, because then at least, well, how to say, it is possible to protect you from heartache and, of course,

first heartache. they did not experience the moment when this young man left you much earlier, where you experienced for the first time. this is the feeling when they turned away from you. and in fact you were not accepted, you were not loved, you were not chosen. i'm trying to remember. well, but it doesn’t come to me, and you don’t remember in your mind, you remember in sensations your body remembered absolutely every element and every event in your life. maybe not because parents always, well, my mother said that first study, first career and then relationships. here this one these words to me they directly ate that at first i had to learn how to make everything work, and then

everything else, so that to be alone on my own. your mother did everything to ensure that you were alone and on your own. and it is clear that she did this out of the best of intentions for you. but only you at this moment for some reason, as if betrayed one part of yourself that very part that builds relationships not because it's time. as you say, i'm not ready, but because it just turns out that you can fall in love with a person fall in love and follow your feelings and children may be the result of love, and not the result of planned sex, of course, in today's circumstances. you can freeze an egg for yourself, anything in there, and you will have a baby in a test tube in 20 years and it seems like everything will be fine, but only a large part of your own life. where nature has laid

you urges, where your personal has laid you urges to strive to be happy to be in a relationship to be desired to be sexy to be bright to be shown in the end, yes, and to give. for some reason, this very feeling was told to you that you are not ready yet. and when you told me that i’m not ready , in general, you already at that moment told me about your mother, who gave you a clear manual on how and when to do this. of course, she wanted all the best for the question. what do you want? what do i want? i want to live in the moment, well, enjoy my life, don't be afraid, don't be afraid to go into relationships don't be afraid to connect with people do what's really i like to live in the first place. well, how to live the life that i choose for

myself. when you describe me, your eyes begin to shine, you are happy, you are active, you don’t know if you are happy there. you have everything you need for this happiness, does it even matter which century? no, of course, no, no, because the weight in this is only in everything. how are you fulfilling all these obligations that you made to your mother today? how many years i'm afraid, but, well, since i work as customers. i'm afraid there's no time to pass something is missing there. this

is to disappoint, yes, to disappoint, but, most likely, the most important person to be disappointed are you afraid of this shman, right? you understand that you are 29 years old. in general, today you can no longer stand at attention in relation to her. very afraid to disappoint, but to tell them even when i went on a run. they, too, first, so why do you need it about marathons, the same thing, right? that's a lot. yes, it's not necessary. before it's unhealthy and tell them about some dosing races. i'm scared hmm i'm scared of them disappoint and what happens if you disappoint them fantasy of yours? what scenes are drawn, what could happen to little tanya , who would disappoint her mother by bringing a deuce. would they and how then mom reacted, why

it was so important not to disappoint them. don't know. how did they react when you did disappoint them in some way? i hope they are supportive. well, as you see, you got a deuce. they tell you, well, it’s okay for the first time, i don’t remember the exam or the test, and i called them and told them about it. they to me nipples are great. finally, you are a student. so let's go back a little further to childhood. why were you so afraid of disappointing them? what were you afraid of? that what had to happen to them as a result of disappointment, they would have died or what, no. i don't know what i was afraid of because, well, you said yourself that you were afraid of disappointment. that's what they were afraid of, because good is a good phrase. i was always

afraid to disappoint my parents, my question is simply, and what would it be like this disappointment was. what words do they expressed their disappointment, maybe they never did, but in your fantasy this scene is strictly looked like an older sister. they well, it's scary, my mother never shouted anything there with words. yes , not by shouting, not by raising your voice. well, literally. their gaze is enough for you to hide in a corner and understand that you are doing something, not right. trained elephant come on , you are not admired by the fact that a small man controls a multi-ton animal. well, yes, it is admirable, but you probably understand that this happens in the result of training, at the beginning of which terrible pain is inflicted on this elephant. yes, i didn’t have pain, no, they were just not

beating you. i understand that you were not beaten like an elephant, but if a person begins to be afraid of the look of another person, then this is exactly what is called learned helplessness, when people very often tell me, my dad once told me that we not enough sight. father was in order to die there with fear or to understand that i had done something wrong. i'm fine this understand. but, if you think for a second, in what conditions does a child live who is afraid of the views of his own mother, while he is looking for him? he is looking for a loving look, he is looking for an accepting look, he is looking for a sincere look, but he is afraid to meet a cold look. when mom suddenly gets offended and shuts up and may not talk there, i don’t know for a while. this is the most terrible punishment, as far as i understand. i'm afraid to say. see, that doesn't make your parents monsters, by any means. they just chose this way of upbringing and again, of course, they did this with the best of intentions, but

now we are not talking about them about the fears that you hung on yourself, can you really disappoint people? and not only my mother, but in general anyone. and nothing happens when nothing happens, but an adult differs from a child in that an adult is able to handle what happens. and here is the child, why do i ask what kind of pictures your fantasy paints, because the child paints a picture in a situation of disappointment that he is not capable of cope with. but you have grown up, but you have not matured. and now i hope that as a result of our conversation with you, there will be a small element of this growing up, when you see that in fact, to do all this. you don’t need what you do, you don’t need to bring it to the chopping block and throw it away. so to speak, sacrificial fire own life personal life sexual life. my own there, i don't know pleasure and everything connected with it. not very responsive to what

you say. and now i have a direct, well, a picture of a look, there are mothers, yes, that's disappointing. well, she is looking at you in this picture. what is happening to you, i shrink all into a small ball. just like at the beginning. here is the feeling. yes? uh-huh yes, yes, i'm shrinking , i don't want to hide, i want to. yes, yes, hide as directly as possible. here i am , uh, if we're talking about mom's stern look. yes, i want to hide under the covers. and shrink and that's it and nothing around happens nothing around. i am not here. no, the most important thing is that in all this there is no me, and therefore you understand when you appear there you are you are 55 kg. uh-huh then at this point. you can't

stand this knockout and you hide, you hide instead of a blanket with your 13 extra pounds. how many there 11? was hiding, actually the body in order to hide this little girl, who actually has long been entitled to property. yes, you now want eclairs. no, i'll just tell you such an exercise ladies, then the next time he wants eclair chips, something so sweet when you eat. you're just saying what kind of mother it is. you know how a little child they feed the last spoon not for mom for dad. here is every cake that you will have in your hands, just say directly inwardly what i am eating for my mother or for my mother. and you well, how to say, you in this way you see, this is a very conscious field. it will cease to be unconscious when you buy eclairs, just buy yourself vot for your mother, for your father, and for your older sister. you can also for the boss of each of those people to whom you promised that you would not be attractive

and would not be free and happy. yes thank you you for this exercise. i just got really pissed off. thank you very much. thank you, i was very glad and great that you had the courage to do this. hello, my name is igor igritsky. i do cinema. i am a film critic. today we will talk about the cinema of exotic countries, but actually, they are exotic only for people who are used to hollywood or transnational productions, because over the past 20 years, probably, in cinemas and on television. we discovered,

of course, the dominance of, in general, american and transnational, because almost all non-american films still contain hollywood money , but this term big hollywood doesn’t work that way, but nevertheless there are a huge number of countries in the world that have created their own national cinematography, however, you need to immediately make a reservation . the fact is that, mm , this national cinema, the so -called exotic countries are usually not very good. welcomed by moviegoers because, well, we understand that it's not exactly entertainment. the fact is that really, but hollywood and cinematography going in the wake of hollywood a are mainly focused on entertainment on shows , a-a on television, therefore, the national cinemas of countries that are not included in this one, but are more likely not focused on

entertainment, and this is not a story about the culture of these countries means absolutely that a these films are not interesting to the general public. well, you just need to understand that the viewer is used to being only entertained, to be shown some kind of show, and special effects and so on are exotic countries, about which we will speak, in this case about iran a, as a rule, do not have the money that can be used. to make hollywood movies, of course, it's not millions of dollars. as a rule, these are only the credits of a hollywood movie of some blockbuster. basically, it's a budget. e film, e , national of some exotic so-called country, but nevertheless, one must understand that in those countries where national cinema does not start from e hollywood clichés, their lesha develops his own

its own unique cinematography, where, in general, the conversation is not about entertainment , but rather about the culture of the regions where it is filmed, and we find out that the culture of these regions is very interesting, it differs from some generally accepted clichés today in the podcast. we will talk about the cinema of iran and in order to understand, and more deeply its problems, you need to delve a little into history, and iran is ancient. a country with a minimum of 5,000 years of history, for many centuries dynastic monarchies existed in this territory, these were iranian kingdoms and last dynasty. pahlavi reigned until the seventy-eighth year, and in 1978 a revolution took place in iran under the slogans of islam from that moment on. iran has turned from

a monarchy into a theocracy, despite the fact that it is called an islamic republic. which is somewhat of an oxymoron, because a republic does not imply a theocracy, nevertheless , the top leadership of iran is the spiritual leaders from france uh, was returned by aytallah and no one lived in exile there. ah muhammadri stuffed levi was just expelled from iran and in general, iran has changed not only its political, but also in general both cultural and spiritual whole system. and these changes had a very strong influence on the cinema, of course, because until that moment the cinema of iran developed in the same way as in neighboring countries, but certain restrictions appeared in the seventy-eighth year. this can be called,

well, a kind of spiritual censorship. the fact is that e scenes of sex and violence, which were very bright in the sixties, are shown in such cinemas. eh, how france italy and neorealism appeared in italy in france hmm, on the wave of student speeches, a famous one appeared. narrow new wave that's it since 1978, and it was banned in iran, though. cinema continued to develop, despite the fact that the islamic republic of iran began to live according to the laws that were determined by spiritual leaders. they were fully correlated with sharia law, where the image of people and animals is not welcome, however. movies were quite a hmm allowed art form with some restrictions. and here it is important to note that this

not only did not violate or somehow limited. eh, creators, and the so-called second new wave appeared in iran, which included the director of abbas height, whom we will just talk about today, m-m about the basque parted. this is the largest figure in iranian cinema for russia. put, say, with andrei tarkovsky there or kurosawa in japan and basket in height. e-e studied at the university of tehran at the faculty of arts and, in general, positioned himself. e in his youth, as an artist and one might even say, as a poet and writer more than a cinematographer, but he has been directing, uh, short films for a very long time. he himself was born in the fortieth year.