uh, have lunch, i don’t understand at all now who returns when and who goes where, wait for the food in the refrigerator, then put the food in and buy it. i, because no one goes to my store on my own , i have to go to the store with my own money, you see the refrigerator, whoever uses the refrigerator, but of course, they can not eat, they can not dine. for example , if i cook something a lot. for example borscht. yes, they ate it, only on the first day on the second on the third. i flush it down the toilet. sorry further. why are you cooking borscht, kiss saucepan. you know, i'm now and in complete confusion, this is my problem. i do not understand, yes, how should i behave in this situation, what should i do, but sign the products or what? yes? or, for example, what's the problem? well , that is, touching the refrigerator, someone brought it. i don't know who brought, for example, cottage cheese. yes, i got up in the morning and another daughter ate this cottage cheese. oh so, who bought it, she gets up a little later and says. and where is my cottage cheese, then he ate it,

it turns out, there are absolutely some lumps. i would call it a hostel, yes, that is it happens because no one does anything. or you can evict someone who breaks the dorm rules, you know? well , yes, they probably want more. well, no, well , crush the question is not the ethereal toilet bowl cleaned, or i. no, well, i still can, of course, sometimes, because the apartment is so big and yet i work and take care of a small child, but not a small schoolgirl. yes, i drive her in the morning at six in the morning. i get up at 8:00 for school. clearly, small children. yeah, well, i mean, i'm doing it, no one helps me. exactly this. well, if you only ask someone, here is a fifteen-year-old. he also went now, but he says. why are you asking me? i'm busy too. i have volleyball. i have a section. well, that is, that is, you are also engaged in cleaning alive. well, i may know to hire a cleaning lady once a month,

because there are things that, of course, you don’t have any cash desk at all. we put an envelope like this here for a month, because everyone has different salaries for everyone, someone is still studying there. yes, there, who works part-time and, as it were, the salary everyone is different and it turns out that they say you work a little. education. yes, he says you please, how simple. well, when he was little, yes, that is, i will repeat, probably, that i went to one clinic, and worked in two in another. yes, that is, a speech therapist, yes it is the outpatient clinics where the man in this e in this whole story the man is you have no man, these children are not, we divorced my father, just in the thirteenth year. that is, you are without a man. yes, you have children from one five times from one further. so i got married a second time and just the sixth child me from and what happened to that? and, because

he tried, he came to the family, the second husband, but lasted a year. well, because other people's children , yes, that is, somehow. i already understood that he had his own somehow, we would quickly get to know each other. somehow fast. that's what i have, maybe this is my problem now that there are problems with children, yes, and with older ones. well, i thought that everything was according to the classics of the genre, but they didn’t do it much. they perceived, but he didn’t really want to lead, that there weren’t much of you here, that is, they had some kind of conflicts, well, there are no conflicts. there were no conflicts whatsoever. it's just that he had a slightly different second husband's perception. he thought that everything would be so festively beautiful, that all the princesses and everyone should. to make some such news from different children is a lot of beautiful children, but nothing interesting he had such an opinion. that's what he thought these kids would look like. but i can’t answer this question for you,

because how can i say, i am a woman and male psychology, that they are like you probably, and you are like that, it seems to me very accommodating. yes very like that. yes, very much aspiring cares with high value precisely. yes , trying from all sides. there, everything is done, gently, put to sleep. what happened to the children? why do they as you think, they now, in any case, did not go to you. it's been a long time since this kind of consumer attitude towards you began. here, as if i can not say that it is even consumer. yes? that is, they love me, right, but what does it mean? well, they say, mary love is the case. well i think the problem is that together, yes, that is, when i am one on one with the child, if only with someone, that is , it turns out normal when they are all together, it turns out to me some kind of normal, that you get one on one with the child understanding everything, that

is , no, let's give an example. so you say, listen, i'm very tired. i drag you through life. this is what they don't want to hear. they cannot understand, it seems to them that life is one on one. yes, because in principle, i am quickly going to quickly orient myself, but let's go. yes, let's go. here we are now with my daughter let's go rest. yes, everyone bought tickets, petersburg no, not the youngest. here, yes you bought a ticket. no. that's right here she is. why, when one on one, she says, mom, let's go, or there, we went to the water park. well, here it is, one on one. she has concerns for me. and when in the family she says, and why should i do the same? i work five working days and two days off. i'm getting tired. and this, for example, vika da sits at home and does nothing. vika says, i also work. i just finished working remotely. there she is she is preparing some kind of olympics there, that is, and

in general others. there they begin to compare themselves with their girlfriends, yes, which one child and which mom dad gives everything you ever told them. how hard it was for you when you got divorced, when you bought an apartment, did you buy it yourself, or of course. yes? no, no, the fact of the matter is that we paid off the credit of another one. well, that's just, yes, they stood out once they told some episodes when it was very very hard for you, when you were just here they are exhausted, exhausted, why didn’t you see and don’t feel it seems to them that everything in her was talking about it with them. and what do you, and how many times did you say? well, now i'm trying to say, they say, come on, everything is fine. tell us some episode that you tried to convey to them. here, when it was absolutely difficult, and you would really like your children to know and understand this episode. and so that they sit down with you,

your girls, and cry. because the heart could not be broken from that. that they submitted to you at some point. i had to worry. with their illnesses, with their failures at school with a husband , whom i understand, you could not tear yourself away from the sofa, an unthinkable responsibility, which in fact women's fragile shoulders, but should not bear. something you told them. well, i told. well, tell us somehow no, well, here, i remember when the sixth was on april 6 , yes, 2007, when i gave birth to my fifth child, i got up in the morning, took the high school to sokol, then returned home, led to the nursery garden of two excuse me, but the man who was sitting on

the couch at that time was sleeping with his mother. he just woke up, but he's basically all there is to it. he says, well, you yourself want, why do you need a school with a spanish bias no at this moment, what he does was not at home. he woke up and left and left. yes, he woke up and left. he even went to work there. he went from his mother, that is, his mother lived in a neighboring house. well, that is, he woke up, that's one, well, according to a certain regimen, and clearly went to his home there to his mother. and from there. he was already returning. and you yourself in this , in this whole story, what you felt. well, this was so hard for me, that is, further. i went to kindergarten alone. yes, one, that is , this. well, then i went to give birth. no more. not yet, then she returned and took it away because of yes, and she also took the garden. she's a preparatory course. they told me that they urgently need a card. so i went to this one with a fight, right? it didn’t draw me in, but i already knew what it was like to go to a tuberculosis dispensary. there

some one had to take a certificate brought this help. just met with a friend. i say i'll probably take the subway, because i had to go, well, at certain uh, the center is family planning. so it's a completely different county. yes she says are you crazy or what? i say, well, how are the traffic jams? i won't come. well, on the subway. i'm fine, but i had to take me home. well, i took it home. understood? what all? well, and here i say, then good. i called him, he came, how would we get there and it turned out that i just gave birth and in 10 minutes you told this story in your children. well, here is the eldest, but she knows it, because she was 11 or not, the lions said. this is how you tell us. well, that's it specifically no why? well, because we didn’t have no time when we are at home, we only talk about birds, who went where and who does what mom robot mom? and for some reason, yes

, the most offensive, yes, that is, they do not understand what i need in general, what i in general, well, i even want to sleep , yes, that is, i come home. what did you do at home today? you may have a personal some life? well, i'm not allowed to do this. i no longer speak there. well, because you have a small child talking, older children talking. who will you leave him with? well, as a matter of fact, i can date my girlfriend. yes, only during the day, because i took her to school at 6:00. i need to pick her up, how small your child is again. well, well, that is, to our school, well, to the second grade, yes, that is, not near the house. and here is the child, who is the second, let's say, from the end, how old is he 15-15 years old, i can be with him for 15 years i can agree with him specifically, but you can still have training with him, yes , well, he’s watching, he, too, why am i here and that’s why i have problems now that it’s like with these two. they will also grow up like that, or what should i do, most likely, like that.

if you do not change, then i have stopped working a lot now. yes? well, well, anyway , oh-oh-oh, this is not that change in the refusal of the psyche. my name is natalya losva. i am a journalist. and my co-host clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences mikhail khors and our heroine maria with a very difficult situation with people. i would even say a wonderful heroine, and we admire you. but now, answer me, please, maria to the question. who do you think shows our children? an example of how they treat us, how can they know that mom needs to be protected, that mom needs help, what, when you eat in this house? this food has to be paid for. well, the answer is society as a whole is correct, but more specifically, who exactly is in this society? well, i think i should kind of lead by example, yeah, i mean,

if you have to set an example of what? well, i don’t care about my mother or how. there is no way to teach, you see, you are not here at all. you once gave them the opportunity. they said maybe they were little ones to take care of themselves. well, for example, you said to your older children there when they were five or six years old to marry their eldest daughter. where is the independence of the eldest daughter, even if she is even married at the age of 27? well, so many parents say okay michael uh-huh well, maybe they are , maybe i'm wrong because yes, well , i have quite independent. they even now they talk to me. they say that here you are with ira together, but with your little daughter you would have left somewhere yourself, and here we are coping with this without you. yes? let's go back anyway. the question is to what question? who can show them an example that your parents can take care of you, for example, hmm,

somehow i don’t have it. well, we live separately. my mother lives separately, in my opinion, yes, my father died. wait you take care of yourself. well, only she has two brothers. well , it means that she lives with her brother. i for mail. just as much as i can, dear. maria, you take care of yourself. about yourself. yes i want to. well, only i don’t want or care. well, only now, probably, i realized that i need to take care of myself too. and what, it seems to me, is wild, excuse me, right? but what you described to us. it is the sacrifice of sacrificing yourself to these children. and they can’t take an example from anywhere, you understand, children treat us the way we treat ourselves, to whom you don’t treat children to yourself. well, you know what kind of problem i had, that is, when well, i myself, yes rassla, that is, with me, and my mother never worked. and that is, there were three of us, you

were considered she did a feat and , accordingly, we were there for an extension. oh, for this , on a five-day week, we were in the camp for three shifts. i mean, i took care of myself. here, yes, wait, a five-day period, this is when you think you spent the night, and yes, well, to kindergarten, when my mother took me to kindergarten on monday or forgot on friday, yes, that is, i also have this protest, you understand? that is, i felt so bad myself. i remember my childhood and , accordingly, when i gave birth to my children, yes, that is, and there were also not three more , always in a different way and the extremes left, you understand, so what should i do to start while an example. but what about now, should i or leave? yes, you put your life on this apartment, and you will see now, right? and i also assume that the children, probably you are already hinted at. let him change. yes, it hints. yes, yes, class,

you will change very well. no, i believe i said that this is our father's house. that is, the truth here you see, please, the house. well, it means that once we are all together, that is, as if generic nest, yes. well, that is, at this apartment, we will not change, and this legal apartment, in general, is just your legal apartments. this is yours, right? do you have a bedroom, is there a bedroom? do we have our own? well, we have four rooms. right now, e. well, i'm with my little daughter. that is, you don’t have your own kitchen space, so i understand your kitchen. well, it's also a public place. well , i don’t know, but once again, you asked a question several times. what to do? are you still not sure what to do? i do not know how embody it. yes? that is, as soon as i start caring. how do you talk about yourself. yes, for example, i say, i will go to the theater today with natalya and my friend, she says to me, calamus, but she has no one to leave. firstly

, ira has ira in the world for 8 years. that is, ira could, yes listen, do not repeat your mistake that you made with the older. uh-huh ira is eight years old, in principle, nothing can be, especially since this is not one. there in the apartment. there are other people. yes, i don't now. i'm trying this now, when, well, well literally, i recently had a situation. yes, i went and immediately turn off the phone for me the theater, i'm returning there. well, okay. yes, it all ends at 10 o'clock. and there are a lot of calls. where are you? well then, where do i say. why did you leave her? and why do you even look at answering these questions, maybe, but i started to remember. i don’t want to buy this and magazines in favor of the children of germany. 50 kop. it's a pity no, children do not sympathize sympathize. why do not buy do not want. and

you, after all, are justifying it all, somehow. well, how is this our family nest, so we won’t sell it, but i should . learn to say i don’t want to. are you entitled to this? i went to the cinema and left ira at home because i want to. why are you afraid to do? so? you do for sure, it's obvious forever in fact. yes, why do you excuse michael because children are sacred, they are angels an angel. is it possible to refuse? what were you afraid of, what would they tell you? what a disgusting mother is that? that's what these people say, whom you brought up, fed, gave them an education, provided them with a normal life. four-room apartment, working two or three jobs. they say about him that you are a disgusting mother, well, not disgusting, why are you going out of their adult children? here they argue. i would

argue now. i don’t argue with mikhail i don’t like the door, that’s right there, and if you like living here, then there are certain orders here once a week you sit once a week you once a week you clean everything together in turn, we throw off 25% of the salary for a communal apartment, know what happened here no man? mikhail gives rather tough instructions, but i'm right here wrote down. now as an algorithm for many many of those who are not yet in this studio. this is a podcast of the psyche. i am a journalist, natalia loseva and my co-host, clinical psychologist of psychological sciences mikhail khors, are looking into maria’s situation and it seems to me that maybe we are steam, but we are saying what someone should tell you to our uh-huh this is a special edition of the meeting program at the end of the world, or with

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i cook meat, own ferm and natural spices, it is impossible to resist, cherkizovo and it tastes so good to me. just the premise of it all. see you have a masculine side. and you would take on the function of a man. well, it happens. well , what to do, yes, when a woman starts, and to be a man, too, for her children for her family , our percentage of divorces and single-parent families. so, but you took it, but you didn’t take it completely, i mean, i’m a horse and i’ll be with you, as a man and as a woman together, but pull the masculine on myself. yes, but you didn’t bring strictness to your family? i don't like conflicts at all , don't like them. you are afraid of them as a set i'm afraid. yes, i don’t like conflicts and i’m afraid, these are different things, as i would say that i’m afraid of

tangerines. yes, i don't like them, but i'm afraid. yes , somehow. yes, it sounds strange. in fact , once again you are afraid of conflicts, because you think that there should be no conflicts, because you think that conflicts are bad. a conflict - this is not bad, and i feel good conflict - this is a normal part of life, including families, and about life without conflicts. no, it will work out for some reason, michael thought that maybe this is somehow connected with childhood maria, when she was a child, and when she must have been waiting for these five days of meeting with her parents. mom, you were so cold and you wanted to be a good girl, so that she could be more with her mother, maybe she was affectionate, but she just sent me somewhere all the time. yes, well, here it is not overbearing. no, she, well, she called me, marisha. yes, it's not there. and here. well, yes, but she is all the time, that is, as if in different rooms, that is , there was no kind of heat. not that is, to

my grandmother or well, that's either for five days or three shifts. this is what i remember with horror. yes, this camp. yes, when even well, this is a shift change. we didn't go home. that is, we went there, i don’t know to my girlfriends, that is , somehow so damn it, i wanted my children to be exactly the opposite. and now, in fact, when i have so many already, well, a worthy worthy age, and now i can understand my mother. why, she simply could not have gone to extremes there. mom gave you michael to herself. she gave birth to herself those people who are in her unloved in this little girl who is sitting. compensate for what she did not receive in order to compensate, but they do not compensate, because they did not teach. and how could she teach, if she did not succeed, on the one hand, she saw mom, the extreme was gone. it’s just that maria went to the other extreme

, you know, from one extreme she threw you into another, they tried to drown her children in this giving, understanding, caring love. well, i really love them, yes, but there is no love, but i gave everything that i wanted to be to me and in fact. it worked out well. that is, i gave me an excellent education in children there. yes, that is, and everything, that's all, that's because there are a lot of them. yes, i have one diplomat there, the other is an ecologist, yes, that is, everything that i wanted myself. and it didn’t work out for me, of course, it happens. two, like, you see, what you gave to children is love, giving, tender and caring, but there is also a second kind of love. this is called strict any. now, if strict love does not compensate for unbalanced, caring giver, then the construction of relationships is a curve just like vice versa, unless

strict, like a mother, yes, there, well, she named paris, and everything else yes, another crooked design. but a harmonious construction is a relationship where strict love is balanced, surrendering. well, let there be a giver a little more a few. yes, but when this alone leads to what you have now received. and this thing is fixed and pretty quickly. if you learn to give to your children, not only giving love to show, well, strict, limiting out of love for them too. and for this you need to understand that the conflicts that will definitely start arise when you will show your strict love for them that the conflict is not bad. it's just a normal part of life. she is a possible part of life.

yes, it would be better if there were no conflicts, but they exist, and if you are afraid of them in a panic and do everything that if only there was no conflict, then this is again extreme michael, and relations with men can change with mary if she turns the tide and relations here the scheme, the model that she has developed in her relationship with children. well, as a man there, too , you should make more demands, you know, because men need to kick, well, i’m not like that, of course, but there’s less of this acceptance that a man ’s husband is a smaller saint. oh, kids, w- dad went to bed, what is it all about? well, it's already in the past in the past, don't close the future for yourself, a spectacular beautiful woman. you are also told to meet and meet. maybe you can find more, of course. just give some specific , maybe give advice or homework for maria so that she understands that we are now with you all your life your forward on

i won’t build it for a few years, because you will most likely have to fix your relationship with children for more than one year, of course, this is one on it. yes, some three or four homework assignments that maria will take and just work on. well, the first task. and you stop supplying this family with food. let there be an empty refrigerator. i don’t see you understand, but eight-year-olds please, maybe you yourself ah, i shouldn’t eat at home or i shouldn’t cook food on myself, but you change it for a girl for e, then, okay, for a 15-year-old teenager, if he is for you helped fed three. the fridge is empty, but these conflicts you ate my you are cottage cheese. you are not your story at all. let them decide. they are adults. let them yell at each other. sorry like monkeys with something. yes, that's

all there. let them solve their own problems. that's when the value of what you are doing may be. they will increase, and they may not begin to demand from you, but politely kindly ask. and here, your second task in relation to your wonderful children is wonderful. i'm sure just a little spoiled, and maybe a lot of spoiled. yes, and it’s clear who so, the second is to stop them in russia. about what , for example. oh, please. please sit down with my demand. change seats. now they want you. and you ask them. well, they will say, it seems to me, no, they said they learned to speak from their mother. no, they are, and then psychological punishment. she can punish sexually mature earners , you are discharged to an apartment, you don’t write all the dishes yourself. leave them. if you don't

follow my rules, i'll release you. this is it. i, by the way, should not be. i imagine that this is a monstrosity now for you it sounds and most likely it contradicts. i somehow even know how, until i can. he can't even contain the thought. you see, you gave them all the bait of the locomotive. i don't know all the resources , you understand, you gave children an education. they work. they can rent an apartment for two to share there. you of this room's horns to marry, however you like. you have given them just beyond measure. and your relationship, well , just believe it will only improve. if you're all parrying now, and you have every right, moreover, you are obliged to do this, you know why you have at least two more children who are watching, who are looking at this and who can become your support

your loving friends michael i say, now worldly, but you understand that this is not a contradiction of ours psychologically. no, it doesn’t contradict, but the only thing here will be a question for children. yes, they will say that we will not go. we are registered here again, but in fact, the dishes. yep no problem. and now they do it pretty quickly, but for mary michael the very thought of suing her children. this is simply unacceptable, and to allow it again is to take care of them. this is love for them , because you brought them up in some kind of greenhouse greenhouse condition, where mom, in any snap of their finger, runs and does everything, but reality is arranged differently. can i offer a softer option, maybe maria somehow expand her physical space in the apartment. which he has every right to, because i understand that you are a responsible apartment tenant, own your daughter from the room. check in with others children something for a teenager boy, for example, and

for your daughter. i do not know together e girl and girl do not like. now he's better there. you do not think that if you say so directly, the children will be offended for life and will never talk to you for some time of the announcement. for them it will be a shock. well , maybe they just need to reason about how to tell the rooms periodically over 10 years of residence. they were just moving, yes, since you have already taken on the role of a peasant, then in this, too , take the role of a peasant, but in the one where you ate all you can your life. already start to become with women, you have only one bath room. when you occupy it, are you sure you do it with caution? no, here we have everything somehow. well, everything that concerns, well, in principle , upset. i don't bother anyone. that is , such domestic conflicts. eh, there is someone who washes there for a long time or someone is the most not. that is, no one interferes here. someone left in the morning. it just happened when the pandemic and you present to everyone from settled in the common

space and everyone still has distance learning. and i just could adjust. imagine would like to. sorry for the kids. maybe they will watch, we'll talk about the man, then we'll go to the kids. look what you need to do in your apartment now. if you imagine that in a week you will meet a new wonderful interesting man and your relationship will develop rapidly harmoniously , so to speak, and you will already be ready to invite this man to your big apartment. well, in our time it's perfect. what do you need to do in the apartment in the house and your way, so that this new man does not run away, like the previous month, do not invite him to the apartment, that is, leave the four-room apartment to the children for your own children gradually. i understand these are harsh statements. but it's really time

to gradually start moving out of the nest, because it's normal for babies to fly out of the nest. yes, they sometimes fly out and hurt them, but this is also normal. but you don’t need to put another man on your hump. if you want to live with a man, let him call you to his you understand the apartment, and as for the children, i don’t know where to tell the children, dear, wonderful, beautiful. sea children. mom doesn't owe you. she can give you and gives and will give and has given a lot, but she has no such duty. look at this program, please, mom will come home. you are on your knees in front of her. stand up , kiss her shoes and say, mommy. forgive us, please, dear, dear, you are our mother, beloved. thank you for everything you 've done for us. we will try very hard for you

continue to help love you and protect the guys. is it true. when you grow up, you will have your own children, well, or just life will beat us a little, and life always beats. you will see the feat that your mother performed for you in a completely different way. the main thing is not to be late. it's always good to remember that everything is fixable while we're alive, so that it's not too late, well, you ask that we address you directly, but it seems to me that the situation is worth it. it was a podcast of the psyche. my name is natalia loseva i am a journalist and my co-host of the clinical psychologist mikhail khors analyzed a difficult situation, but very vital maria be happy, please, thank you very much, i will try. the

sky is getting dark again. the windows were lit at dusk. this is where my friends and breath live. but i'm peering into the night windows. i live here my friends and breath in the night windows peering. yes, i love a dream under the windows. i can read them like they do and the cherished light and exciting them as people look at me. they look at

me like people. i am ready to stand under your window and receive in the world. i always hurry faster rendezvous from my youth and into the light of his night. i always hurry faster, like on a date from my youth. yes? i admire you at night. i wish you a window of happiness, you cockroach. there is no bread and my opinion there is no moscow unquenchable light. he is not bread for us in containers there, and explain the unquenchable light of the years of the moscow course.

hello dear friends with you, a podcast of melodies of my life and valery syutkin and this is

the light jazz team. a little applause from a musician of such skill does not hurt. thanks guys. well, as a matter of fact, we opened. e our today's meeting song oh moscow and he wrote tikhon khrennikov to the words of mikhail matusovsky. mm. it seems to me that this is a vivid example, what melodies did you compose? what kind of poems did they write not because this age-related grumbling was objectively sung by the whole country and such a form, because they drank it in a line , even if you are the first time a song, hear you they give you the opportunity to catch on, and then repeat, i will never forget how mikhailovich told me . e. the history of the creation of the song has converged on you like a wedge of white light, for example, it's just that i'm throwing a bridge over the story creation of moscow windows. i just don't know. but here i asked mikhail savich what the authors are here. hmm oh, skorfeldman. e, igor

shafiri mikhail tanich and you and the driver of some part you wrote, and some igor he says. no valera answer mikhozdanchik. i came to visit the feldsman at a dacha outside the city in the suburbs and he says hello misha. look at what little notes igor and i wrote here, and he performs directly. i'm not a radio operator, just to make it clear, intonation er, oscorpelsinov. look, misha here such a fit for you. wedge white light. how do you tanya, it's just brilliant. repeat again what to repeat and the same text. repeat, he fell for you. wedge white light. great. tell me again that you're kidding me. no, repeat. well, all the white light came down on you. he says, now i'm tired of it. come on, what do you have there next and