they just loosened up instantly. i felt relieved and understood how to live in the world of emerging domestic show business. you have to live with self-irony, and everything will work out. we tried to pay this into a performance that we wouldn't say was perfect, but it helped a lot, then afterwards. i've seen a lot of hmm responses say an older man instrument a guitar in hard coffee, and the caucasian tour boys were in the caucasus kicking his guitar. so they say, uncle, that you have a balalaika here, and he answered the children with dignity. you don't have to touch it. i eat this. and this very exact attitude is the very irony it saves. dear viewers, i don't have any playlist or tips, i'm a representative of

the tube generation of the generation that i loved for free and counted in my mind. therefore, no speech is absolutely improvisation. by the way, the names. not so long ago, a young man gave me a wonderful interpretation of one of my works, in which i participated as the author of the text. he came up and thanked and said, thank you very much valery melach for your songs. especially for this one for the liberal democratic party, i quickly recalled all the moments of my life in my memory and realized that i had never collaborated in any way with the mentioned party movement. to which the young man, seeing my misunderstanding, says, well, how is it? love the girls of simple romantics air tour, thank you very much. so let's continue. the first concert

tour brought a lot of understanding , a lot, but, firstly, the administrator was with us. he is also an artist who performed in the program, or rather, he was supposed to perform with the tightrope walker program on wire. well, actually a tightrope walker, but his name was stanislav gvoz. he took such a uh, a carry and a small one. as young people say, this was a slander for a polish or yugoslav artist. although he was from our native mariupol . that's stanislav a nail, he, in addition to being an administrator at the very first concert, approached the director of the twentieth culture and said, sorry, you are the director of the palace of culture. yes, what is your name? olga mikhailovna olga mikhailovna i am an artist, uh, in addition to

being an administrator there will be a number on the wire dance number 4 minutes, it lasts i need to install a chain hoist, a good word for a woman for the director of the palace of culture. she says sorry. he says, well, make a pulley block. and he says all this, holding a huge hand drill in his hands. this is how i forgive. this sverlonga rotates here. i need to drill 12 holes and stretch the policy. she i beg you. you don't need to drill anything. we have romanian parquet. he. well i don't know me artistic number 4 minutes on the wire. she doesn't have to do anything. i to you i’ll put it in a report so that they work out their equalizer number, but just don’t need to drill. 120 concerts first tour our first tour 120 concerts stanislav gvozd never worked his number and in every city the drill performed

an excellent function of bait and convinced that the number works no need for a genius. it's called guys the happiness of labor, ironic, of course. this is in the sense that the happiness of work is when you are drinking tea in a cozy podcast studio, and someone is blocking it behind the tv screen. the dam in harsh conditions bad weather waist-deep in icy water. that's about the happiness of work experienced by my colleague stanislav gvozd. i will jump to different topics. i would like to tell you that in each of my programs, in each podcast , let's start, i will definitely devote time to one person who influenced me, whom i consider my teacher.

and of course, first of all, this is my guru that’s how i think, michal mikhail zhvanetsky we each have our own zhelansky someone, loves, appreciates and recognized this writer, and thanks to cassette culture, thanks to performances, ilchenko as part of the corpse. arkady raikin, but for me, of course, the beginning was like this, but then we, as colleagues in price, began to meet often in various concerts to call mikhail mikhailovich a friend would be. wrong. well, anyway, i certainly wasn't his close friend, but we knew each other well. and i especially appreciate that when i turned 60 and i asked him to come, so that my mother would be pleased, because she and my mother are absolutely not the same age. mom is a year older than mikhail mikhailovich and he greatly influenced

me because i like everything short. he told me so for 60 years and said, son, sons, everything is a short concert performance. book course of treatment that's why i appreciate a short focused story on the topic so michal mikhalych was mine remains my guru but was mine. as a fellow traveler on an airplane, we flew from odessa after the golden duke of the festival , we sat together in an armchair. pioneers came to us. i call it that, as faina ranevskaya from the economy class, the pioneers came for an autograph. i sat on the edge, so the first one got under them. influence they did with me what they wanted in for 10-15 minutes. autograph for memory

joint photos when i ceased to interest them as a creative unit. they pushed me away looking for mikhail mikhailovich was reading a newspaper at that moment. he folded it like that and said, you're sorry, but i need to fly further. he continued reading and feeling with his spinal cord that they were still standing. he rolled up the papers and said it was a pity you were finally leaving. after all, an absolute genius in his own direction, here is mikhail mikhailovich. he wished me very wise things for 60 years, which i would like to share with you now. he said, so love, everything is short. sleep little or much. work hard. or does not work drink until

the state of grief do not drink. and most importantly, don't say what you don't know. don't say what you know. don't judge or discuss. it helps a lot. today helps a lot, because it is better to remain silent and look like an idiot. how to speak and completely dispel all doubts on this matter? thank you mish for being with us for your invaluable advice for your sparkling odessa humor. thank you i was at a party with friends and heard a brilliant story there. which is very

liked. all in all, it was a very pleasant evening. my family was at that very moment in jurmala and the schedule was drawn up, so every day there are concerts and trips of performances. only here is one single day off in the form of such a two-day respite, it is pointless to fly for such a short period. as it seemed to me back, so i relieved tension in the company of friends. everyone told anecdotes stories, and one comrade told the next. we are returning from fishing from the city of kandalaksha, murmansk region to st. petersburg and we have three hours before the train to petersburg in kandalaksha in this and in order to somehow pass the time we go to the central square the only restaurant. he, probably, during the day, like a dining room at night, maybe this is a nightclub, that is, the only

point of cultural life in the city, we go to this restaurant. the four of us climb the stairs, we go in and see the following picture. in the center , the barmaid aunt masha with a large bust in odessa , my grandmother's homeland, says a heart on her chest. aunt masha to her right are men in tracksuits with an extremely hostile expression on their faces, so anxious, women, their faces also do not radiate kindness, because in the city they have not paid their salaries for some time. there is some kind of financial failure. you remember, it was at the beginning of the 2000s that this was the picture, and therefore the dialogue and contacts between them without libations are not carried out sad pictures. mother-in-law. masha is in

the center, my friends silently, accompanied by hostile looks, come to the counter and tell us, please, four vodkas double doubles and four tomato juice. 118 rub. 14 kop. one of my comrades was smirked you understand that there is some kind of mistake in general education, he says, you give us vodka too, a woman. count, otherwise 4 double boats, four juices are only 118 rubles. she is aunt masha. hey , smart guy. you are money in the beginning. show me then you'll be here and meet. he pulls out of his pocket, separating one banknote of 1,000 rubles from the entire large bundle. so that these hostile ones do not attack him alone and puts her on the aunt's counter. masha remove this

thousand. here in the bins, he says, the surrender will be next thursday. my friend, and god with her creator. and how would it be intelligent to spend 3 hours before the train. to which aunt masha, as a kindergarten teacher, calmly but authoritatively, says, get out of here. this is referring to those, uh, hostile men and women, get out of here and everything is obedient, as the children in the kindergarten for daytime sleep begin to move away, the guys stay in the hall for the owner , well, then there is a relay race of four by 100 and not one. i mean grams and, accordingly, the mood rises they feel master of the situation. suddenly he realizes that there is some stranger among them. a man is some kind of god with a black eye, apparently, put by those who went under his eye, he is somehow spinning, that they already feel

that it is they who control everything that happens in this space of power. they say, so a second man. what do you need? he, to be honest, guys. i really want to drink, they pour him a full glass. he drinks it in one gulp on his face, the bliss of such generosity from fellow citizens. he has not seen since birth, his face spreads in a smile, they say, well, that's it, he drank everything and went to the exit. he guys and you from here further where they are we are in peter he is this bum i'm with you. well, the people's equivalent of the answer sounded. why do we need such a simpler one? guys, so to speak, what did this bum with a black eye, an empty glass in his hand, say to the guys. i'm with you because i'm here in kandalaksha to be honest.

holds nothing. i returned home under the impression of this story. my head was spinning all the time. nothing keeps me here. indeed, a funny witty story. i entered the apartment by opening the door in advance and turned on channel one on the tv remote and there i saw in the frame on the screen of the ringastar. it was a film, as i found out later martin scorsese about georgie harrison, but i did not know anything about it. i see ringa old. i'm used to ringa always speaking with humor when asked what the beatles of ringa always proudly said to you, these are four asses that i've seen for eight or more years there. hmm because the drummer is visible to the ensemble exactly, well, the back of the front. here is ringo starball in

the frame, it's spinning in my head. nothing keeps me here and suddenly a question. right in tv ringa and when did you last see georgie nu ringa says a few days before leaving. i just sat silently with george. he held his hand next to him. he was very bad. he was covered in tubes, droppers, and so on. and so i sat silently, and then i said george well, hold on, old man, i have to go my daughter is sick. you know kids, it's always a problem and took a step already to go away. george caught my hand and told ringer that well, if you want, i'll go with you, took out these tubes and said, if you want, i 'll go with you. and the credits rolled in the final. who director of the film well, as it always happens? and

when the credits rolled, tears came from my eyes . i couldn't control this process. it's impossible to contain. and you know at that moment i realized that i didn't go to sleep. i went to the airport, took a ticket and only flew for half a day. to those who hold me on this earth who holds me at this moment? this is very well understood. we are now in the first days of the new year together with you and taking this opportunity. i mean, call your parents. while our parents are alive , someone stands between us and eternity. that's when we have them we lose, then we already begin to understand, therefore do it. guys i really want to wish

you in the coming year and wish yourself and you good news, they are very lacking. well, so that health, of course, does not distract from them. what is the new year? you know, it seems to me that music is the best guardian of memory. here older people will remember. we knocked out a check from the cashier and the cashier stabbed it on such a metal rod. this is how all our impressions are strung on a melody. here you hear a song and remember everything that was with you down to the smells and the smallest details. here is this song new year's andreyakovcha ishpai on the elements of evgenia yevtushenko for me a completely new year. this is, of course, when she heard the black-and-white picture on tv a record of tangerines.

there was simply no other toy then. such cars of matchmakers such a sledding boy dad, mom grandmother and on tv the film of dima gorin's career and there this brilliant melody is coming in a dream, and it is snowing and everything is around something. looking forward to say, with all my garden main person. take a look at this snow with me. he's a purge who? what am i silent about, what can i say? i probably want a kind santa claus when

i look out the window with you. my destiny, thank you snow. thank you thank you, snow to you. thank you for being with us in these first days of the first night of the new year 2023 . watch our podcasts at first and live with hope for the best. we will succeed syutkin dude from moscow the history

of my life. good night friends. this is a podcast of jokes for everyone who does not sleep. again. good night, yes, well, those who, wait, and i right the camera is mine, that's all. i ’m just here for this light, i’m sure, as if you know, a plane is landing on me, as if you know kamaz is definitely coming. that is , you are not my question. who are you working for? such a backlight? do you ride on a skating rink? yes, yes, look, okay, let's do it again. let's get started with this podcast of jokes. i'm glad that some people suffer from insomnia in a good way. and this time will be spent with us. i have wonderful guests in my studio, connoisseurs

of joke keepers lovers, people who they know how to tell them and i am happy to put them to you - mikhail politseymako and valery syutkin, that is. actor singer composer not a singer just you know, now lately there have been a lot of different hypostases for different people. that is, as if you forget to name there some very important definition that he is still a blogger at that moment, for example, and that’s all. people then get offended. well, i hope you don't carry no. and i also like it when they say, there, uh, an actor. e, tv presenter winner of the crystal drop award. well, you see how now we will begin to enumerate with us galaxy i want to start a conversation. you know what, uh, in the current realities, they still

say, yes, well, a joke, what is it? yes. this is somehow not fashionable. moreover, it is old-fashioned. that is. well, they say some are not just young people and girls. and some direct skeptics of the present time. here the youth says, do you want a joke. do you want a joke? that is, it became just a joke , just a joke, but such a short, uh, joke meme, you know, a joke opens and reads to you with the help of a gadget, in our childhood. remember gadgets. it was an appeal. e to the person who carries you yourself the same you have a completely different meaning, and my daughters do it differently. they don't tell jokes, they talk. dad, look, cool, yes, well, yes, read something to tell to play. maybe this reflects, as it were, the reality in the sense that, uh, in particular, the youth. yes, she stops communicating with each other earlier. to

be honest, let's say, well, my childhood is there . youth is there further e in the yard. yes, when everyone was going about it was like, uh, not that cool, as now, he says, the youth was generally, well, it's cool to tell a joke vying with each other. yes, i'm not. listen, i'm tired. yes, i knew everyone there, everyone knew how to tell, and this was a means of understanding. you understand how you loved for free and counted in your mind. here is the generation, that is, the girl had to be impressed. you were not supposed to read from the phone, but to tell about the memory from the heart, that is, to prove yourself, and now, just about the girl, to impress. two options as far as i remember it is when you know how to play at least a few songs on the guitar, then in the company. yes bravo band i played the guitar in the yard. i told you about this bravo everything from the beatles and our polish heroes valais then

really was like that, that is, well, a guitar, that is, you don’t know how to play. goodbye, but i know jokes. and then, in principle, there would still be such an option , in sports there were where guys who, uh , pulled themselves up or something from brusalim, could portray it already, yes, but basically at all times i’ll say this more all the most the best, if they start answering all the best performers, whether it be classical music or frank the senator, for example, or carusa. it's not exactly the greatest vocalist at times. this is the greatest storyteller, because the song is like you wanted to tell something, you know how to tell. listen, you don’t know how to tell , the perfect solfeggio, high, low notes do not take everything, so it seems to me that the anecdote is still such a safety of communication precisely from eye to eye from the mouth. mouth and what you want

to convey, of course, and show, as it were, degrees and you can already tell your own erudition of emancipation, by the way, about this. eh, now you understand. why as they say dear, the spoon remembered a joke for dinner, and the joke that is there, there are two of them out of this joke, this is the great yuri nikulin yes, who was also the keeper of jokes. uh, and uh, his club there is a white parrot, so the story is next uh, there is such an anecdote. i'll tell it to you now, so, uh, the company is sitting. well, that is, in some kind of vector there, for example, there in the nineteenth, which means, yes, we are cavaliers there. well and that means, uh, they’re sitting and, uh, the new man in this company is just some kind of hussar , he was introduced there, please, he’s passion there and everything is there, yes, and that means he got into the company in this, they sit in a circle and just 244

and all ha - ha- ha there people are everything, this is society. we love jokes. we we love so much love and so often we gather together we tell each other jokes that already, well, as if everyone knows them by heart and that they will not be repeated for a long time. we just remember imitating them. here, let's say. right now. here, look, here it is 302 there ha-ha-ha. he says it's very funny. i'm like, i'll tell you later. he says you well sat down here. such a person got used to it, and at some point there was such a deathly silence and the lady next to him stood up, the one who was sitting slapping him once stood up and left. he sits simply and says what happened to a friend says. listen well, bro, we are we vulgar jokes were not told in betrayals. well, here's an old joke. you are for sure. you know what he came up with. eh,

nikulin, he came up with two sequels. that is , this anecdote means, and everything is the same beginning. uh, this, well, new comer. this man says, there, 147. complete silence is just dead, and he looks at everyone like that and the friend deviates says, listen well, don't be upset. there are just people who know how to talk. and this and well, another third option. it's already a joke when the mind speaks there 210, yes, and again the silence is rough. he says, well, listen, well, do not tell funny ones. yes? and this, it seems to me, is also correct. you said that it was a joke. there is no profession without composing or anecdotes? i think this story is being told

in passing. here we were yesterday like this, and the narrator gives the processed story some other angle, because agree that sometimes you know the same anecdote, but the person tells adds some little paint, and he plays in a completely different way the anecdote is as a matter of fact, i was told really, when the elder in the caucasus speaks to the best there. eh, you'll go there tomorrow , you'll fly to moscow. we need to have a wedding. and in this pocket to him a pack of rubles there again, well , as a fee here quickly reread right in his pocket to the touch hmm money. and what about the wedding directly to the grandchildren you won’t go anywhere further on a small budget and i will never forget it. i worked in the eighties under the orchestra of his pozons. the main guest performer was mikhail sergeevich boyarsky and mikhal sergeevich misha tells a joke,

which i know perfectly well, but add a little nuance like this. i would even say our country's guild told the circus. a man comes, says, i am the director of the circus with a new attraction. yes, what kind of rides now no one goes at such a time, you have nothing, for sure, we don’t have any expenses of money, damn it. yes, nothing, you don’t need to, just hang up, and here i am satisfying vasya live online. as young people are now saying right in the ring, 80 women in the evening of the sixty-first division and another 20² for an encore. well, they hang. they write the first office, and the city's changing mood went phone calls. word of mouth radios. here, in general, women bought all the tickets for a month in advance; men are also interested, in short. full house all hanging down from the amphitheaters to be closer to

the action, but our hero is at 78 two to go. you see, he loses his mind and faints and the mood in the hall changes, there were cries of swindle. return the money. this is our 78 they are not satisfied with the promised eight swindle director runs out into the arena. ammonia. the hero comes semyon says vasya what happened the hero pyotr mikhailovich did not put the plague on the run during the day , everything was fine the word run. i remembered eduard smolny, these productions could all be said for a rehearsal. here's to the run and swindle. he is mikhail sergeevich , of course, he uses our folk and the equivalent of this word is different. when to cheat? well, here's one. but still, sorry, it's also important, of course, the scene and the character of the joke. if we

are returning, because here is the situation itself, uh, this situation, it is already comical that, well, as if, if we parse a i also remembered, uh, one of those quite decent jokes, also on this topic, that when a man is such an engineer goes home in the subway and gets out of the subway and stands watching. it's a huge line of men. he 's walking in a queue in his neighborhood, a huge one, he's walking. here is a very own yard. what they give there, he goes further very much into his entrance. well, what happens, he goes up to his floor, and there is a line to his apartment. there is a queue, he comes, which means to his apartment. in the bedroom , his wife lies on the bed. and in turn. means takes all these men off the subway what's going on? she says you don't see the disaster. he told me this. kolya fomenko

kolya fomenko had such a finale. says vasya. this is some kind of nightmare. and here is one. you see yes. or how they ignore me and do not notice. so next or when there doctor. it hurts me with a woman who came to the doctor and were here and here. he says, let's undress, let's see. where should i put my clothes? yes, put it on my luggage, and when i have a doctor, it hurts here, oh, it hurts here. oh here, damn it, give me your hand finger, let's say, yes, these are all jokes. well , why because, well, let's say all the people, right? somehow, to a greater or lesser extent, everyone gets sick. yes, that is, well, an absolutely healthy person probably does not exist. yes and so, it seems to me that, probably, this somehow allows all the same, but, in a joke, yes, and in any humorous story, as a rule, a person laughs

when he does not associate himself with this. so this is history for him. about someone he has such a familiar friend there. and so, as it is with doctors. yes intersect there with childhood, yes, they go there to do vaccinations, and so on and so forth. it seems to me that such a large number of jokes on a medical topic is due to the fact that a person. maybe, as it were, well, still calmly laugh. eh, roughly speaking about myself, but how to combine stylish? it would seem that i really liked a person coming to the dentist, says the doctor. i have a problem's. what yellow teeth are yellow teeth. well, about green gas. you know such advice unexpected for which i love jokes, wait, doctor, you know from me. it hurts so much

belly, just some kind of nightmare. have you eaten pigeons? did not eat. and you ate the head of a dove , i did not eat it. he says, and you dove your naked head, he says daniel the head of a dove, but what's the matter, i'm a speech therapist, i tried to help at least, yes, in medical jokes. uh, a huge number of professional jokes in general , a lot, because there are a lot of musical anecdotes about theater musicians, and very often very often, especially people related to the profession. yes, they are like case there from the musicians. they are short anecdotes that i already knew, they tell with special gusto i draw the whole exhibition. that is, they immerse you so much in general in what is happening,

which means there is a little, theatrical tales, real theatrical tales, and which they then tell. like a joke, and it was right there in the theater, and there are even people who saw these stories, and you know what else there are jokes for. i have several of these that have been with me virtually all my life. i remember zhenya morgulis tells me polar. i know that you love to collect musical jokes. i really collected just such musical ones in order to spend the evening well in my environment. i'll throw you one musical anecdote, a son comes from school and his father says to his father. sorry two points. today he said, in what subject in zoology. what's with two points? well, you know, they asked who had the biggest balls. well, i said that i was sent away, well, that's right, son. it's logical, he 's big received from the son of the son of science live a century, a century,

study here he wrote such slow waltzes. musical margulis hello everyone shulevich threw a big son comes to his father and says dad what is incompetence and indifference. he says, i don’t know, i don’t give a damn, and about musical er, well, one of the most, probably, old ones when, uh, well , friends are gathering one says, and i won’t go to the opera with you tonight. he says, why are you premier well, he tells me yesterday rabinovich got drunk, and that's nonsense. and this, as soon as on your favorite topic, is associations gave you clinging to some details. she immediately works for your memory, and he flies out when he says, he drove his wife in the company of men yesterday, she was on a cult, along the way, she says no, a warning, why should

the audience ask you for respect? and you passed it, or vice versa, you wanted to sleep, and most importantly, that after our program, after this nightly podcast, you would have a good mood. tell jokes. collect jokes. and we will try to keep it. uh, together with you them for posterity. good night. see you again. bye.