was hell. that's all i think i wanted to tell you in this first part. uh, if you want to achieve something in life, start right with yourself and from this moment, because as theodore roosevelt very aptly said, if i'm not mistaken, do what you can with what you can, here and now and these were questions and answers. and now, let's say hello to muscovites and petersburgers. they say that there are some misunderstandings between them. here is a muscovite who loves and appreciates and respects both the city itself and all the inhabitants of st. petersburg your moscow and him didn’t have you, something in general. you are probably bright, he is gloomy , arguing with the hands of cultures, he is again sick, and you

are behind the curb you have not seen the white nights and the sides of petrograd, he does not know khitrov's courtyards, and bulgakov's places. he will never be able to carry the ax alone and you will not know what kind of beer the entrance of the house is. but your moscow would have become fucking, in general, you probably hear something, how gently the mariinsky harp sounds in bright colors. children

at your mask and manila became generally something, probably, oh, not bright, he is gloomy, arguing ulturt, he is sick again. and you zavardyur at your moscow and fuck you became generally something. your moscow and i, for some reason, are not dying, of course, you are finally you. of course you are.

the girl is walking barefoot, it is raining in the puddles, she is carrying shoes in her hands, and a young man will come behind her on a bicycle and tries to save her from drops with an umbrella. but, although she doesn’t really need it, daneli said it all. he says, what else do you need such a brilliant script, we’ll do the rest on the set , the process of shooting a film is underway and just on the uh set comes after a week's absence. well, let's call it that way , a creative artistic dip appears gennady shparikov, daneli ken well, i 've been waiting for you for a long time. we urgently need to sit down to write a song with andrei petrov waiting for you. he's already at sofia's restaurant. sit down immediately start working the twine. gaia's severe condition would stimulate the beginning of the process. ok , take stimulus 100 g and start working in 5 minutes

. fine. what's up right now you won’t understand how well i said to you, i would add an answer to this sleeper. this is how, with the help of the right additives, this ingenious and absolutely was written, and the organic and song material to the music of andrey petrov i walk around moscow, this is the melody in my life is also one of the most important, because i’m all weaved this is this night on white and without it, there would be no enjoyment of life, of course, to this day to watch films and data or ryazanovs. and gaidai and board and endlessly. you can list hmm uh, and those whom i respect and love very much, but today we will focus on the personality of george danel. i didn’t know him, but once

, as a viewer, i saw yuri abramovich bashmet in one of the programs ask danelia where we are talking about men and women. here you are, wise with experience and years of georgians, what can you say, what is a woman, what did danelia say? here i have a granddaughter. 4 years old and i took her to the zoo. we go there were fish, birds, horses, and then there was such a sign for another territory - predators. but i don't wanted to go there. i bought her a glass of ice cream. wines turned back towards the birds, fish, horses. and suddenly, she says, grandfather stop. and there where there to predators. well, i told her, baby. well, why do you need these toothy animals, especially since you have seen them many times on tv. yes, grandfather , i saw them. but they still don't see me.

this is how george daneli answered the question what is a woman? yes women do not have a problem that they would not create and a lot has been written about it, of course, but i will tell you so women for happiness, after all, they have, what is the main problem. the woman has a small closet and nothing to wear properly. that’s why it seems to me that for a woman to be happy right now i’m turning to a man for a woman to be happy , you need to remember this is only one, maximum two things, but only so that there are new ones every day, yes, that’s why the generosity of a man and only generosity. here is the main key to win the heart of a woman. here, in order to find your happiness with a man, by the way, dear women, i do not advise you to do this now. this is my observation. he needs to

be understood very strongly by a man. well, love a little, but in order to find happiness with a woman, this is completely different. she needs to be loved very much. and do not even try to understand, then you certainly have a chance. e, although i saw real mutual understanding in the family, or rather , i heard this example showed me alexander anatolyevich we were on a joint trip, and he said. it should be noted, but i have a warning call to my wife before i go home with my friends to celebrate something. i making a warning call. how it looks like the phone number alexander anatolyevich anton is dialed at the end of the tube, wife. hello he is not hello anything, right away. stay stressed, nothing more. i still remember asking alexander anatolyevich if there are more people than two people and the visit is also in

suspense. he says it's a different code. i say what he is. hello serve. here, just be in suspense and serve. this is how important it is when there is mutual understanding in the family, but in fact, it seems to me that this is the secret of a deep right relationship. tenderness and a sense of humour, tenderness and a sense of humor, and all of this we are working on ourselves no rude words. we try not to speak. we try not to. but when there is work on yourself, it always brings you closer to a happy life, so we will work on this, guys . here are some other great real life examples. i have a married couple my friends from yekaterinburg and they have a lot of children and grandchildren, and i ask their guys, seryozha larisa , how do you manage like this? hmm, to keep such

a large family in order, answers larisa with small ural throat. here valera the main thing is patience, and so i say, how patience is not so. well, patience. so, well, how can i explain to you? here the new year was coming to the holiday, all the children and the elder son came late with his daughter-in-law. we are all at the table, he is mommy, we congratulate you and dad on the new year. so hello oksana, contact the fish to clean it, to clean the fish, and as she was in a fur coat, she goes to the kitchen and begins to clean the fish, son. mom, well, because you are pressing my female, but it’s also impossible. well, we're a little late. i take a spoon from the table so, did you understand his forehead bam? what did you say? this is how we revive patience, and so, it seems to me, this will be enough, an exhaustive answer to family relationships. but if you go back to

the world stars, then woody allen woody allen to the question. who is the head of the family? here is this eternal question of the city answered what? i do absolutely everything in my family. i hope it's clear girl, huh? clearly, a wife, and a wife, she makes a decision like that. this is the answer friends, bravo i think i have about the same marital status, sometimes remember very coldly married. and i really like the last one without days off. so the division of mankind into men and women was very successful. we all understand everything in this world, as we know women are happy in the name

of women, therefore men. let's continue to love to pamper them and they will give birth to children with women, we will provide for them and take care of them. and as fyodor mikhailovich dostoevsky said , one cannot even connect one's own mother when disputes between two people occur, because love is a secret. god's no one should themselves deal with the two. valery syutkin and layzhas are with you today in the podcast of the melody of my life , so men be real handsome. diplomas

took place? in general, i went crazy, but girls. but the girls always found something in me. i do not know that newcomers to this i shared a secret. for the first time for the first time for the first time in every hall and in this and in this. i hope your girlfriends are not handsome, so that everyone goes crazy. you are not soon, even more fun, but the girls always found something to involve.

i do not know that the girl is more visible. and when we grow up with you, remembering, how good the evening is, and i will leave without knocking my heels, but under the stress of your light treasures. i'm not handsome, so that everyone goes crazy. you don't go sales more fun, but the girls always found something. i don’t know that the girl is a bear, but the girls always

found something for you. i don't know what a girl is. something else funny to say. i just remembered how i was delegated to the ship during my work in the bravo group. we were in murmansk and asked to speak in the afternoon. it was

a holiday on february 23 and murmansk uh. we have there was a concert, and in severomorsk, you know, there is a port. i was asked to speak to the sailors. well, i took the guitar one day before the concert was delegated from the bravo group met by senior officers, white festive uniforms. and while we were walking along the ship , we began to tell each other jokes, funny stories, very sociable. the commander of the ship and the political officer, let's call it that, i don't know anymore. now what hmm terminology we have here in the navy. and when we entered the company, all the sailors were already sitting there. i sat down at the table on the edge to my right. commander and political officer both they are so fat powerful and says, give borscht bring borscht, start a few spoons. they haven't eaten yet. there he gave a crushing speech to the commander. then he says, now

the comrade sailors have finished the rest of the borscht, everyone has left. he says that now valery will perform in front of you for a day, he represents the bravo group and i don’t know what he will do, but now it will be very funny. why did he say so? i don't know, said it would be funny. i became in order to start the performance with the guitar. i took the guitar and stood up. as i was sitting on the edge. i broke the center of gravity of the bench and by suspending two powerful heavy men the bench made such a movement, they hooked the table with their knees, the remains of the borscht, fortunately already a little cold , rose into the air and fell on the white tunic. here. luckily for the cheese, they reacted so calmly. say it, and all the sailors also laughed, the laughter lasted about five minutes. after that i said, well, something funny to show or we can just sing. so, uh, funny today, it will be exactly as much as you need. well, how do you understand about

of my modesty, i can talk for hours, but still i will move on to such a useful lesson so that we are more modest, this is a real story, and i checked with the primary sources. that is, the children of the person about whom i will tell sergey mikhalkov as soon as he wrote. uh, the words for the anthem of the soviet union were called upstairs. and that's how it happened. it is completely coincidental that three people talking to each other stutter by nature. this is sergei mikhalkov e. she is stas mikoyan and molotov, so they all ended up in the same room and are young. thanks mikhalkov well done seryozha , he wrote a good text here, good poems about russia , what do you need there? how is the apartment mikhalkov and how is the apartment? and mikoyan well seryozha

maybe then yes, yes, a cottage, he says yes, yes, yes, yes, there is also a cottage. can i have a plane. to which, having looked at each other, mikoyan and molotov actually said in one voice, the wasp on the plane did not even stutter. so guys for sure i assure you you need to be more modest. here is igor, our double bass player, he also brightly showed himself, mm, pointing out that you need to be more modest, we played songs of the victory for the holiday of may 9 in the house of music and in the dressing room. comes to us. ah, intelligent man. god rest him renat ibragimov and the guys say. they could you, uh, compose me too. here are the notes, please, guys, say, yes, no problem , of course, we will play your song, in order not to perform under a minus phonogram, it is always more pleasant to perform live music to sing artists, after

5 minutes at the door. our dressing room swung open, it was opened by the bead performer with his foot, kirov opened it and he had such an expression on his face that sopot 60-9 or there 70, on which he stood was the winner yesterday. he's right yesterday. he was such an intonation with such an example , he said, and the lord are musicians. yes, i need to play a song. non-surgical need uh-huh and what igor said, and he says the notes, what notes of my songs the whole world sings. here it is above the mountain. alyosha you know, fortunately, this song. as he knows and with pleasure we will play some kind of tonality, but lord the musicians said beads kirov, i ask you to pay your maximum attention that in my author's interpretation in each chorus of the song stands above the mountain. alyosha will retanut deceleration pronounced. clearly remember, look if you make a mistake.

he is already the boss, to which igor said, comrade, kirov this is not very, please, already without beads, comrade, kirov, you can have a minute. here came up to him, damn it, cars, i beg you, if you need accuracy - write, please, well, you don’t need to throw beads in front of the musicians. this is exactly how the accents were placed in this case, but the most important thing seems to me. this is me leading up to the song that we will perform. because the author e verses of this song mikhail tanishche, author of music - this is yuri saulsky. here you see the melody of my life, the melodies themselves uh lead to uh, an important story that happened. that's what mikhail isaevich taught me how to be modest. he says, valera, i went, uh, to buy meat at the central market that is on tsvetnoy boulevard and there, ivan ivan worked as a butcher

, this surname is ivan yushin . turning to me says, mikhalych well, let's take me somewhere with the cdl for a meeting. i also write poetry. yes, they still very intelligently bypassed all these, so to speak, his proposals, but then evan uh, the butcher of the central market spoke very brightly. he told michael don't underestimate me as a colleague. yes, and here i am with composi. shainsky, who comes to me for meat, we made a song, by the way, a good one . silver bend. here are our herbs. they got good royalties. i'm already thinking about sending this meat to hell with me and i will be like you, too, creative workers. finally. we will spend evenings together in the central house of the writer and please sign me as a poet to a poet a record and give this record to shainsky where one of the songs of the grass is the author

of the text, which is the butcher butcher in the central market. older people will understand. uh, my attitude is so um, because it was very up there to say that. uh, a profitable place, let's call it that, to which tanya said, let's vanya record a lot of text and wrote remember ivan no meat to herbs. poisons to meat tanich mikhalych, how short with humor and highly artistic like this through melodies, we, together with the light jazz team, are running this podcast called the melodies of my life, so that it would be interesting for you to spend time watching tv, time, uh, which you devote to channel one so mikhail tanovich yuri saulsky and let all the misfortune that happened to you before you watched

the rejection of the melody in my life remain in the past like the misfortune of a black cat. there was a black cat around the corner. only a black cat is not lucky. all day in in the courtyard of light i chase away the magpies of the cat, only

the song is not about that at all. only a black cat is not lucky. even with a cat.

to the tail was. blacker than blackness itself. yes, and a song. in general, about how insulting it is to be a black cat. they say it’s not lucky if a black cat crosses the road, but for now it’s the other way around, only a black cat is only unlucky in a black year. so let the viewers be lucky. good luck and health, we wish all our friends, we listen to all viewers to everyone who watches, podcast ringtones of my life.

good night friends. this is a podcast of jokes for everyone who does not sleep. again. good night, yes, well, those who are wait and i'm right the camera is mine , that's all. i just need these this color. i seem to know that a plane is landing on me, as if you know kamaz is definitely coming. that is, you are not my question, you work for someone. i'm such a highlight on the rink when you ride? yes, yes, yes , look, okay, let's give again. this is a podcast of jokes. i'm glad that some people

suffer in a good way from insomnia. and this spend time with us. i have wonderful guests in my studio, connoisseurs of fans of the keepers of anecdotes, people who know how to tell them, and i will be happy to introduce them to you - this is mikhail policemaka and valery syutkin, that is. actor singer composer not a singer uh, you just know, there 's been a lot of lately . that is, as if you forget to name there some very important definition that he is still a blogger at that moment, for example, and that’s all. people then get offended. well i hope you don't see no, ah i also like it when they say, there, uh, actor. e, tv presenter winner of the crystal drop award. well, you see, now we will start listing galaxy with us. i want

to start a conversation. you know what, uh, in the current realities, they still say, yes, well, a joke, what is it? yes. this is somehow not fashionable. moreover, it is old-fashioned. that is. well, they say some are not just young people and girls. and some direct skeptics of the present time. here the youth says, do you want a joke. here he doesn’t speak, i’m not ready to tell you about them, if you want joke. i mean, it just became a joke. just a joke, but such a short, uh, joke meme, you know, yesterday there or or you want a joke opens and protects and you with the help of a gadget in our childhood. remember gadgets. it was an appeal. eh, a completely different meaning to a person. and my daughter did it differently, they don’t tell a joke, they don’t. dad, look, cool, yes, well, yes, read something to tell to play. maybe this

reflects, as it were, reality in the sense that, in particular, young people. yes she stops communicating with each other. to be honest, let's say, well, my childhood is there. youth is there further e in the yard. yes, when everyone gathered it was, as it were, not that cool, as it is now, he says, the youth was generally, well, it’s cool to tell a joke vying. yes, i'm not. listen, i'm tired. yes, i knew everyone there, everyone knew how to tell, and this was a means of understanding, you know, yes, they loved for free and counted in their minds. here is the generation, that is, the girl had to be impressed. you should have not to read on the phone, but to tell about memory from the heart, that is, to express yourself and now, just the same, it was about a girl to make an impression. two options, as i remember, are when you know how to play at least a few songs on the guitar, that is, there in

the company. yes bravo band i played the guitar in the yard. i told you about it. i got everything from the beatles yes, this is kraevsky, our polish heroes then were really like that , that is, well, the guitar, that is, you don’t know how to play. goodbye, but i know a joke. a then there would have been such an option, in sports there were guys who, uh, pulled themselves up or something from the brusal could portray it, yes, but basically at all times i’ll say this more all the best. if all the best performers are responsible for yours, whether it be classical music or frank the senator, for example, or carusa. it's not the greatest precisely vocal times. this is the greatest storyteller, because the song is like you wanted to tell something, you know how to tell. that's it, listen, you can't to tell, the ideal solfeggio, high, low notes do not take everything, so

it seems to me that the anecdote is still such a safety of communication precisely from eye to eye from the mouth. mouth and what you want to convey, of course, and show how, as it were, degrees and your own can already be told with your erudition of emancipation, by the way, on this occasion. eh, now you understand. why as they say, dear, the spoon remembered a joke for dinner, and the joke that is there, there are two of them out of this joke, this is the great yuri nikulin yes, who was also a keeper jokes. uh, and uh, his club there is a white parrot, so the story is next uh, there is such an anecdote. i'll tell it to you now, so, uh, the company is sitting. well, that is, in some century there, well, let's say in the nineteenth. so, yes, we are cavaliers there. well, that means, uh, they sit and , uh, the new man in this company is just some kind of hussar , he was introduced there, please, there is passion

and everything there, yes, which means that he got into this company, they sit in a circle and just 244 and everything ha ha ha there 78 oh like everything in- total they laugh, and it means that he asks his friend, too, some young officer there, says, tell me please, what ’s going on, damn it, you know, all these people are all, this is society. we love jokes. we love so much and so often we get together to tell each other jokes that already, well, as if everyone knows them by heart, and that it will not be repeated for a long time. we simply remember them and numbered them. here, let's say. right now. here, look, here it is 302 there ha-ha-ha. he says it's a very funny anecdote. i'm like i'll tell you later. he says, you are there, well, here you are. such a person has got used to it, and at some point there is such a deathly silence and the lady next to him stands up, the one sitting to slap him in the face once gets up and leaves. he sits simply and says what happened to a friend says. listen well, bro, we

didn’t tell vulgar jokes in betrayal. well, here's an old joke. you are for sure. you know what he came up with. eh, nikulin, he came up with two sequels. that is , this anecdote means, and everything is the same beginning. uh, this one, uh, new come this one the man says, there, 147. complete silence is just a dead thing, and he looks at everyone like that and a friend avoids eating. listen, don't be upset. there are just people who know how to talk. and this and well, another third option. this is already a joke, when you die, there are 210, yes, and again the silence is rough. he says, well, listen, well, do not tell funny ones. yes , you, and this, i think, is also correct.

you said that a joke writer is a profession. i think this is a story someone is telling. casually, here we were yesterday so understandable. yes, it gives some angle to the other, because you will agree that sometimes you know the same anecdote, but a person tells some little paint , and he plays in a completely different way. in the caucasus says the best there. eh, you'll go there tomorrow , you'll fly to moscow. we need to have a wedding. and in this pocket he has a pack of rubles there once, well , as a fee here quickly counts right in his pocket to the touch hmm money. and what about the wedding right in the grandson, that is you won’t go anywhere further on a small budget and i will never forget. i worked in the eighties

. under the direction of the pozon affairs orchestra. the main guest performer was mikhal sergeevich boyarsky and mikhal sergeevich they tell a joke that i know very well, but add a little nuance like this. i would even say our country's guild told the circus. a man comes, says, i am the director of the circus with a new attraction. yes , no one goes to rides now at such a time, you have nothing, for sure, we don’t have any expenses of money. never mind, no need, just hang it, and here's the chip. i satisfy vasya live online. as young people now say right in the ring, 80 women in the evening of the sixty-first division and another 20 for an encore, in the second they hang a poster for the first division, and phone calls began to change in the city. word of mouth radios. here, in general, the women bought all

the tickets for a month in advance, the men are also interested, in short, the full house is all hanging. hmm, they are hanging down from the amphitheater. to be closer to the action, but our hero at 78, two before the end, you understand, loses his mind fainting and the mood in the hall is changing there were cries of swindle. return the money. this is our 78 they are not satisfied with the promised 8 swindle the director runs out into the arena. ammonia. the hero comes semyon says. vasya, what happened the hero pyotr mikhailovich didn’t put his mind to it during the day on the run , everything was fine, the word run. i remembered eduard smolny, these productions, everything could be said at the rehearsal. here's to the run and swindle. he mikhal sergeevich , of course, uses our folk and the equivalent

of this word is different. when to cheat? here you go such. well, sorry, another important quality of the scene and the characters of the jokes, that is, we are returning, because here is the situation itself, this situation, it is already comical that, well, as it were, if we parse but i also remembered one of well such there are enough decent jokes on this topic too, that when a man such an engineer goes home in the subway , he leaves the subway and stands watching. it's a huge line of men. he's walking in a queue in his neighborhood, a huge one, he's walking. he looks very. his yard what they give there, he goes farther to his entrance. well happens, he goes up to his floor, and there is a line to his apartment. there is a queue, he comes, which means to his apartment. in the bedroom , his wife lies on the bed and takes turns. so takes all these men off the subway what's

going on? you don't see the disaster. he told me this. kolya fomenko kolya fomenko had such an ending, vasya says, this is some kind of nightmare. yes, it's kind of a nightmare. and you see one here, right? or how everyone ignores me. so next or when there doctor. it hurts me woman came to the doctor. and here were here. he says, let's undress, let's see. where should i put my clothes? yes, put it on my luggage, and when i have a doctor, it hurts here, oh, it hurts here. oh here, damn it, give me a hand. yes, well, here it is. here, look, let's say medical yes , these are all jokes. well, why because, well, let's say all people. yes, there is somehow more or less degree, everyone gets sick. yes, that is, well, a perfectly healthy person probably does not

exist. yes and so, it seems to me that, probably, this allows somehow. still, these are in a joke, yes, and in any humorous story, as a rule. laughs when they don't associate themselves with it. that is, for him, this is a story about someone he has such a familiar friend there. and so, as it is with doctors. yes, they intersect there since childhood, they go there to do vaccinations, and so on and so forth. it seems to me that such a large number of jokes on a medical topic is due to the fact that a person. maybe, as it were, well, still calmly laugh. uh, speaking harshly to myself. i don't even know, uh, what should i ask you, dear viewers, did your sleep pass or, on the contrary, you wanted to sleep. uh, the main thing is that, uh, after our program, after this nightly podcast, you will have a good mood. tell jokes. collect jokes. and we will try to keep it. uh, take them with you for later. good night. see you again. bye.