all these are our same tests our doctors are velohorn three they say just don't send him to us with a led bike, how will he turn it didn't pass, what else is so unusual? well, you won't reveal all the secrets. well, the most common thing is, of course, with us, there were people who didn’t know that their eyesight was not passable and people were in their sinuses. here they were ill with a runny nose, they got complications in the sinuses and they didn’t notice that a cyst could have formed, the cyst does not allow. e. okay, go through the pressure chamber , these tests on pressure drops parametric impassable vision is necessarily 100%, well, for example, uh, according to vision there is uh, not 100% permissible in front of children. well, at school and someone is wearing glasses, for some reason you don’t count glasses today. he is not a cosmonaut or not, he may not be taken as a pilot , that i had such an incident, when i was in our seventh clinical hospital for pilots here in moscow and i was finishing it and

was just about to go documents to submit a detachment and suddenly they write me osteochondrosis. i almost fainted from him. i say how so i do it i'm doing well, they say the doctor, and i thought you would thank me. that is, e wrote all the andros to the pilot. yes, he can fly. if without pain, as soon as he says what he feels. he will immediately write off. yes, everything happens in life. here he wants. well, he needs to quit. yes, a good article, so that there are pensions, all these benefits are there. he says. everything hurts already and everyone writes him off, and he says strange, but he says, you are going to sleep at the academy. i say, no, so one for me, i finished this one. and where is such an astronaut, but you can become astronauts, then yes, it turns out that gladiologists are not allowed at the academy at all. and to us astronauts with aspen, without pain, they cannot eat in a row. we also have such an offended sufferer, well, not everyone's teeth were pulled out, but then modern ones are inserted for free. notice, huh? but with us

, it means that we select not only cosmonauts . we select more participants in space flight. of course, they are less common in our country and not so massive. but these are the people who make short space flights. well like visiting space tourists who pay your money? well, there are all sorts of such targeted flights. here we have it open in kazakh. yes, we have, in my opinion, because, too , um, most likely, they also flew there from the state, there are artists there and so on. yes, here the artists were busy, and the requirements for these people, of course, are not such lines. the main thing is that they should be such that they become aggravated during these 8-12 days. the main thing is that a person can take off and be able to descend. and how you spend there doesn’t really interfere with your poor

health, if anything, well, he’s talking about actresses. uh, the first 20 didn't get through at all. that there were the first 20 we have a group right? well, a large group, and there we had the first 20, then there were another five of july, and alena and kairovannyy and our beautiful ones. yes , they showed who was shown on tv. can they speak from this very group first. yes, they just decided, probably, yes, one place flies to the other duplicates. well, they were good, someone might say that, probably, he pulled the deal, maybe not. we had everything. you know we have everything to be honest, we do not hide anything. we say everything directly, but on the other hand, if a person is already taken away, we protect it. we follow him, we help, advice. we also control

the driver. yes, and during the space flight we follow him. not us, these are not our functions, but we are preparing our clinical. well, not our medical department, there is no clinical department in the cosmonaut training center. and not all of our other departments. that is, we are all ready , we are preparing for health, these centrifuges are preparing there with space flight factors, our other department of biomedical training. they feed them prepare clothing facilities, hygiene facilities medical control on board, athletes all train, then they are observed by specialists and other doctors who are in the soup, the main among them are doctors. crew assistant astronaut - this is a doctor , this friend the astronauts ask if you want to have this particular doctor? you can say no, and then you never got it, right? well, you never know the psychological non-commission, moreover, because in order to say your problem or you can say your

health, we are definitely assigned. uh, there's a closed connection every tuesday it's every week, but if you're in trouble, you can just uh call down to earth and say uh get me a private liaison with the doctor . crew like you know, he's in houston, always in hilsan soup. uh, nasa, uh, that's half a year. we fly for half a year, he is there on a business trip, therefore, his phone is always on, it doesn’t matter, day and night, he knows that a certain phone is calling with boards. he will give up everything and answer. maybe give some good advice there and further develop this business at the beginning. well , sometimes you may not want to tell. uh knows your crew doctor very well, and i understand why, but after the last one, so to speak , to whom you are very attached, i understand, well, in our now extra time when now the means of communication have become so developed. we are also in contact with the astronauts and they call us to correspond and communicate. now, too. and

we have information about the cosmonaut's flocks on board. the most important thing is that the astronaut on board does a lot of work to support their physical fitness means of prevention. yes, possible complications of this weightlessness and the astronauts are now returning them in excellent condition. and on the ground, of course, meets the doctors of the crew. but then, when you come to star city, again we take you to our loving caring ones. of course, we can call the doctor, but i can’t name the ambulance to call him to myself in the next orbit. there i do not know to go medical training. you have the astronauts pass, then the astronauts have a lot of classes on all major. he can get sick on purpose you can get sick. he has on board, the medical styling is teaching him. how to treat any possible acute illnesses on board? well it's such a big first aid kit of little first aid kits stacking. it's such

a good beautiful term, what is it? laying laying? this is a set of something , we understand how this topic was liked by styling, when something necessary for a specific task is added into one container. here's the medical bill. there it is written in the direction of the medicine what and how to take. there are dental treatments. yes, they did not remove it. not yet, but we inserted the crowns back. yes it was surgical. yes, there, for example, the imposition of a tourniquet on the imposition of all kinds of fixation there, well, means of fixation for possible fracture injuries. uh, there is an opportunity to give injections. there is an opportunity. well, you take the same tests for each other, yes, you are taught this, and even i know there is such a space medical stapler that you can teach us, of course, about sewing up surgery. maybe it depends on the size. in any case

, this is telemedicine, which is used now on earth. that is, when it is not necessary e is not a doctor, a surgeon, a professor who is here, well it is clear that in moscow he works at some institute and we do not have to fly, for example, to the far east in order to perform some very complex operation. there, too , there are doctors who are also less experienced, maybe he is just through. here's how e on skype will tell you. he looks to tell me, all of a sudden i’ll do something in the wrong place. this is what is called the telemic. which just came from us from space. because if something happens, we take a video camera, cameras , everything is filmed. the doctors of the crew look further and decide. what specialists can make us medical experiment, do all sorts of medical research. yes, i know that you do ultrasounds and study your eyes and take tests there, someone even told me that maybe cosmonauts get a specialty, nurses get some kind of certificate. i say, well, i don't think it came to that.

we didn't get certified at nasa. e for working with a deflebilator that just hangs on the wall in all public places. in america it is not possible. just take it off the wall. here is a man. uh, well, you don't have heart problems the right to take, and because i will sue later, if he dies, his relatives will sue you and everyone who is around is obliged to ask. this is such a classic card do you have this card that you can take it to use? it's not just a pill to give. you can kill a person, in theory, well, they have it so accepted, therefore, well, you also have emergency funds. on board we have this we have we have an ultrasound we check i don't know the eyes and that's it. how our whole body changes. well, it happens there almost every day, that's why there are so many es on earth doctors and medicine are not faced as they are on board, because it's not easy. well , that's what we have to go through certain periods. yes, uh, there are some tests out there in space, but there are a lot of experiments, and, uh, comrade doctors from the wfp are defending themselves such to come up with something,

god forbid. you can run on a treadmill, while breathing badly for you with a bunch of some kind of sensors. i don't know, but sometimes you sit there until it hurts you, or they try to pierce your hand or burn yourself, well, up to some threshold. here you sit, well, very well know that we also have a large number of experiments that i don’t even know, some people ask. i remember to us e bears roots flew for a year. and i was just on board. weeks went by and he had boxes in front of him. he sent me. she did fly away. he caught her. he says what to do with her. i say, well, we have styling, let's just in case, i'll call for a day. yes, well, stick it on. yes, it turns out that we have this gel, well, which we flew back with this fisa of ours about the flight. i immediately remembered how i saw you off on your first

space flight. oh, do you remember how we will become a becare? my first start, the first trip to baikonur well, i was a group doctor or then a doctor surrounds us, duplicating in the crew, but in fact the doctor, how many people are there 30, yes, who, together with us, are closed for 2 weeks on one territories for quarantine, we do not communicate with anyone only with them. yes? yes, they undergo a medical examination, like astronauts. there , that temperature yes, so that no one is equipped for 2 weeks, if someone suddenly brought a disease from the mainland so that it manifests itself and then you flew away from you, uh, a snow storm began, remember that the weather was still good more or less, and suddenly it already snowed, and you are walking with such capes capes that you can’t see a rocket wall right there, it’s a pity for the people who arrived money, paid stupidly to see start but in this sawing

, 2 km is reduced. we just saw, this is the glow, this descent is very far to me, where are the rockets and that's it. well, this is especially helpful. she says that our union would not fly for sure all the weather, and then you and i still remember flew you duplicated. well, here i was an understudy, and we won the world hockey championship, what is it? well, there is something there. she was, of course, engaged in my crew was. you are an astronaut, and we flew in was lena serova lena serova we have number four women for 60 years already more flights and now we have anya on board and that girls don’t fly into space, but i don’t know, anton i have this the impression that even girls do not submit documents enough, because here i

am looking at how many american women fly. they are such active sports training girls did not pass in our health. hmm unfortunately, something was missing all the time, sometimes not physically prepared enough, sometimes they were cut down in psychology. well, they are still few in comparison with men. it seems to me that this is an informational e, a voice, let's say so later, but space, which in general can not only fly through. it somehow told more about this time from a cosmic height. he said that the girls were completely non-industrial. she came to us. she graduated from the academy tourism prism. she was also a radio presenter. yes, she was a tourist. there guide conductor. she was very athletic, what would i say, purposeful and athletic, a very important quality is to strive for your goal and maintain health, of course, do not abuse some bad habits

of doing some kind of sport, or at least physical education, and then everything it will turn out somehow. uh, the wives of those rich people. uh, the oligarchs will fly. maybe offer them too. maybe sometimes they don't even think about it. by the way, how much does the ticket cost? space tourist? i don’t even know, after all, they haven’t been flying tourists for a long time. it seems to me the last time when 60 flew, or something, or 40,000 million. sarah's brother was 65 wanted to pay. yes, yes, i did not find these sponsors. she was, of course, older. well, i liked it enough. she was so sweet and then all of a sudden, she leaves in preparation. and they don’t say anything to anyone, she takes a suitcase, and we only find out that she is in london and we are looking for her all over the center for this astronaut. he so happens to workout. she is already the spacesuit will sit in the simulator. maybe, you know, they say, she wrote in

her social networks for family reasons. so now we have not had space tourists for a long time. he flew twice, you can imagine how a man got married, and after the first flights he got married and returned rejuvenated and took off again no, space, but of course, we do not allow pre-selection of such people, as a rule, all these things can be solved according to medical documents in absentia, we asked him to do this and that, and it turned out that, well, we definitely had such a comrade. we said that for a short flight of 8-12 days, they are selected. well, not such a big requirement. but klim july they flew. uh-huh prepared

for 3.5 months. you allowed them. they flew off. after that, they were checked, that is, well, they did not have this rehabilitation, because the boxes were flying, but they flew in the same way as all the astronauts went through again. here they would not only them, but we also had understudies. we also had lyosha, and now they could, already selected for this short flight, still become astronauts. anton, in terms of health, could definitely vouch for julia’s climate, and alena and lyosha are very big . well done, lyosha, as you know, he did a good job on himself and klim . it ’s like flying once, and then how long to wait, if you have a flight for three or four years, it’s lucky, but sometimes people wait much longer and all. this is the time the man sits at his desk. again , so to speak, he forgets that he is a hero or that, he had some other life there. so, when people are selected to us, yes, they were

independent people and again at their desks, they teach all this, pass exams, train endlessly. you know where the survival 10 exam for the first year is taken by 110. if people of creative professions would agree to the same, so that he would agree to ask, maybe somehow it’s possible, but his age immediately needs 35. well, because he doesn’t flew off and flew would say thought. yes, stop eating , check everything in order, as usual to say, it seems to me that here, of course, it is also very important. this is the setting psychologically, when a person understands that he has a big responsibility for many years, because, uh , cosmonauts what to do with one space flight, letting go, it turns out, well, it’s not profitable, yes, the cosmonaut is a government official. he must commit at least five, yes. and he must protect his health, so well , i don’t know, i opened some parties there , i have to sacrifice for the sake of the profession

police, and i think people who come on short flights, they don't quite understand. uh, all the words of all life. let's imagine the future 50 years have passed, that is, 50 years closer, so that we could launch a man 60 years ago and about the same time we will swing forward 50 years with you and me . can you imagine a man in general in space, what is he like? what is he doing? where does it fly? just recently, there was just such a conversation, and we discussed it with the children. children. they are all very advanced in the space industry about what everyone with crayfish is fly. what are the plans in some other states there is a big huge cancer. the moon mars mars is also there, that's all it was and, perhaps, this program will be in fact.

after all, nothing fundamentally new is happening. so far in how astronautics is developing, and i believe that in 50 years there should be something completely different. that is, we must still come up with something so that we can not fly, there, for example , it takes 3 months half a year to mars, but this very jump in hyperspace, here is a jump in hyperspace, oh, which i am filming very much like fantasy films, so that something will happen that is completely different or will be some other, you know the way of traveling, maybe there will be astronauts. well, that's how to fly to the moon's satellite as to some kind of island for vacation. yes, it's good man in space, he flew to the moon. rested there. i don’t know, this one collected some fossils there. there, dust took a selfie, and now a journey to other worlds. i think they should be something else . i don't know any there. virtually

something else can be transferred, there will be objects in which we can move and walk on other planets, because i don’t know or something fantastic new will happen with these engines of some kind, so that we can break away from land, far and fast, or we 'll just travel differently. i think so, but i would like it to happen a little earlier, so that i can see and you are also beautiful. well, a lot of different specialists are engaged in the selection of space in a row, except for the medics. therefore, with others representatives will talk in our next tips. thank you maria good night friends. this is a podcast of jokes for everyone who does not sleep. again. good night, yes, well, for those

who, wait, but i'm right. what's my camera , that's all. i just need these this color. i seem to know that a plane is landing on me, as if you know kamaz is definitely coming. that is, you are not my question. who are you working for a million? this is such a highlight on the rink, when you ride, yes , yes, look, okay, let's do it again. let's start this is a podcast of jokes. i'm glad that some people suffer from insomnia in a good way. and this time will be spent with us. i have wonderful guests in my studio, connoisseurs of fans of the keepers of jokes, people who know how to tell them, and i will be happy to introduce them to you - this is mikhail policeman. and valery syutkin that is. an actor, a singer, a composer , not a singer, you just know, lately

there have been a lot of different incarnations in different people. that is, as if you forget to name there some very important definition that at that moment he is also a blogger, for example, and all people, then they are offended. well i hope you don't see. and i also like it when they say, there, uh, an actor. e, tv presenter winner of the crystal drop award. well, you see, now we will start listing galaxy with us. i want to start a conversation. you know what, uh, in the current realities, they still say, yes, well, a joke, what is it? yes. this is somehow not fashionable. moreover, it is old-fashioned. that is. well, they say some are not just young people and girls. and some straight skeptics of today. here the youth says, do you want a joke. do you want a joke? that is, it became just a joke, just a joke, but such a short, uh, joke

meme, such a joke, you know, opens and reads to you with the help of a gadget, in our childhood. remember gadgets. it was an appeal. e to the person who carries you yourself the same you have a completely different meaning, and my daughters do it differently, they don’t tell a joke, they say. dad, look, cool, yes, well, yes, read something to tell to play. maybe it's like reflects, as reality in the sense that, uh, in particular the youth. yes, she stops communicating with each other earlier. to be honest, let's say, well, my childhood is there . youth is there further e in the yard. yes, when everyone gathered it was, as it were, not that cool, as it is now, he says, the youth was generally, well, it’s cool to tell a joke vying. yes, i'm not. listen, i'm tired. yes, i knew everyone there, everyone knew how to tell,

and this was a means of understanding. you understand how you loved for free and counted in your mind. here generation, that is, the girl had to be impressed. you were not supposed to read from the phone, but to tell about memory from the heart, that is, to show yourself, but then, just the same, it was about a girl to impress. two options, as i remember, are when you can play at least a few songs on the guitar. he is always in company. yes bravo band i played the guitar in the yard. i told you about it. i got everything from the beatles. yes, these are ukrainian, our polish heroes. vale then were really the same was, that is, here. well, the guitar, that is, you don't know how to play. goodbye, but i know jokes. and then, in principle, there would still be such an option, in sports there were those guys who, uh, pulled themselves up or something from the brusal could portray it, yes, but

basically at all times i’ll say this more all the best. if you feel like answering all the best performers, whether it be classical music or frank the sinator, for example, or carusa. it's not exactly the greatest vocalist at times. this is the greatest storyteller because the song is like you i wanted to tell something, here you know how to tell. that's it, listen , you don't know how to tell, the ideal solfeggio, high, low notes do not take everything, so it seems to me that the joke is still such a safety of communication precisely from eye to eye from the mouth. mouth and what you want to convey, of course, and show how, as it were, degrees and your own can already be told with your erudition of emancipation, by the way, on this occasion. eh, now you understand. why as they say, dear, the spoon remembered a joke for dinner, and the joke that is there uh, came out of this anecdote, there are two of them, this is the great yuri

nikulin yes, who was also the keeper of anecdotes. uh, and uh, his club there is a white parrot, so the story is next uh, there is such an anecdote. i'll tell it to you now, so, uh, the company is sitting. well, that is, in some century there, for example, there in the nineteenth, then yes, we are cavaliers there. well, that means, uh, they’re sitting and, uh, the new man in this company is just some kind of hussar, he was introduced there, please, there’s passion and everything there, yes, and that means he’s in the company in this got, they sit in a circle and just 244 and everyone ha-ha-ha-ha there says, you know, all these people are all, this is society. we love jokes. we love we love so much and so often we get together to tell each other jokes that already, well, as if everyone knows them by heart and so as not to

be repeated for a long time. we simply remember them and numbered them. here, let's say. here now here look here 302 there ha ha ha. he says it's very funny. i'm like, i'll tell you later. he says, you're there, well, you sat down. you got used to it, and at some point there was such a deathly silence and the lady next to him stood up, the one who was sitting slapping him in the face got up and left. he sits simply and says what happened to a friend says. listen well, bro, we didn’t tell vulgar jokes in betrayal. well, here 's a rather old anecdote, you , i'm sure you know what he came up with. eh, nikulin, he came up with two sequels. that is , this joke means, and everything is the same start. uh, this, well, new comer. this person says, there, 147. complete silence is just dead, and he looks at everyone like that

and the friend will change and say, look, well, don't be upset. there are just people who know how to talk. and this and well, another third option. it's already a joke when he says there 210, yes, and again the silence is rough. he says, well, listen, well, they don’t tell funny ones, right? protector, and how to combine stylish? it would seem that i really liked a person who comes to the dentist, says, doctor, i have a problem. which yellow teeth yellow teeth come on about the green tie, advised such you know unexpected for what i love jokes. and wait, i remember, uh, a man finds, in short, the doctor says you

know from me. my stomach hurts so much, just some kind of nightmare. have you eaten pigeons? that you didn’t eat a pigeon, and you ate a pigeon’s head , i didn’t eat it. and you ate the head of a naked pigeon, damn it, i’m a speech therapist, i tried to help at least, yes, in medical jokes. uh, a huge number of professional jokes in general, a lot, because there are a huge number of musical anecdotes about theater musicians, a lot and very often very often, especially people related to the profession. yes, they are, as in the case, there with the musicians. they are short anecdotes that i already knew, they tell with special gusto i draw the whole exhibition. that is, they immerse you so much in general in what

is happening theatrical tales, real theatrical tales, and which they then tell. as a joke, and it was right here in the theater and there are even people who these tales have seen, and you know what else there are jokes. i have several of these that have been with me virtually all my life. i remember zhenya morgulis they tell me fields. i know that you love to collect musical jokes. i really collected just such musical ones in order to spend the evening well in my environment. i'll throw you one musical anecdote, a son comes from school and his father says to his father. sorry two balls. today i said, in what subject in zoluk. what's with two points? well, you know, they asked who had the most big eggs, well, i said that the elephant, well, that's right, son. it's logical, he's big, yes, it turned out to be pap that an ostrich and a deuce i got a kid, son, science is running, live forever,

learn here he wrote such slow waltzes. musical morgulis hello everyone big shulevich threw the son comes to his father and says, dad, what is incompetence and indifference. he says, i don’t know, i don’t give a damn, and about musical uh, well, one of the most, probably, old ones when uh, well friends are going one says, and i’m with you in i won't go to the opera. tonight he says why you are the prime minister so he tells me yesterday rabinovich got drunk, and that's nonsense. and this, as immediately after uh, still a favorite topic - this association gave you clinging to some detail. she immediately works your memory, and he flies out when he says, e company of men yesterday took his wife on the body of a cult, along the way,

no, a warning, what should i ask you dear viewers? and you passed it, or vice versa, you wanted to sleep, and most importantly, that after our program, after this nightly podcast, you would have a good mood. tell jokes. collect jokes. and we will try to keep it. uh, take them with you for later. good night. see you again. bye.