and e will influence the future. here we turn to the section of perinatal psychology, dear listeners. i promised to reveal one more quality of our guest svetlana and this quality is my wife. and can i ask you a question no longer as a psychologist. and as a woman's wife, how do you like the series. that's how you feel when you watch. it seems to me that the series is very, uh, relevant, and on the one hand, excellent actors, a deep game, all this cannot impress me a little. it seemed to me too radicalized good and evil. and you don't love once good clearly here evil clearly here. well, i'm still for complex mental processes. and when the main character, uh, works, 10 episodes in a row in one is not the main thing , there is one there, yes, but we will not be in the field in the same psychological mental status, and he does not change from the series, in principle this. the feeling that a person is stuck in such

a state of mind. so he reproduces it. just in every line in every series without changing anything at all is fine. you don't know, maybe less intelligent than you but i love it when you can see this bastard. it's good. well, in principle, everyone loves it very much because these are the basic settings. and such a state, when we share peacefully black and white, everything is very clear. everything is very much under control. anxiety is reduced, especially in situations. e stress overload. our psyche regresses to basic settings. that is up to the enemies. that is, i am generally regressive at home, let's talk about this topic. listen and i will console you. we are regressive all this is not bad. well, wait. now back to notation reflections, let's keep it simple. that's what a woman feels, well, imagining herself in the place of this or that heroine, either a customer or a performer. you know, it's very difficult for me, uh, to feel in the role of an executive, to be honest, i'll tell you. and

because, well, even there, a kitten or a dog, i become attached quite strongly. um , i probably wouldn't be able to handle my psyche. yes, that's how i'm made. uh, to give the child after gestation in the place of the customer, let's say, hypothetically. i could imagine myself, it would probably be very a lot of anxiety about how the pregnancy is going and uh, do i have and will i have a connection with the child, and uh, i probably would be very worried that uh at the time of occurrence. yes, my child was not two of us with my husband, but three with another woman, this is still a sacred moment. uh, where the couple has is some mystery. yes, there is a continuation of the fruit of love, here it turns out to be the fruit of technology, again, i am now talking without negative channels, and i have no idea that technology is bad there? ugh no, that's just phenomenon. yes, i'm talking like terminology, what

else is an option? let's complicate the increase in the degree of provocation, for example, not the genes of the father and mother, which the third person bears, but either the genes of the father and the gene, uh, or vice versa, when a man is something wrong with his functions, a man is attracted to a rather popular donor procedure that is now common eggs or donor sperm of spermatozoa, which we even discuss in relation to ourselves, in my opinion. yes, she never decided. and how do you want to be answered as a woman or as a psychologist first as a woman. uh, so brightly so that everyone wakes up, and then like a psychologist, so that everyone calms down. and probably, i would be very scared, as woman a, and i would most likely hmm well, i would fantasize, er, various disturbing things about er. scenarios of the fate of this

child, a. probably, i could have made up my mind on the board sooner, but i also think that as a woman i would have had the strength to cope with this anxiety. ah, but i have questions in this place that i have no answers to either as a woman or as a psychologist. aha but still it will turn out because of other foreign genes. someone else's child or your own child. well, listen, i don’t have dog genes, and our dog will completely devour me in comparison. and in fact, i didn’t really joke right now, because besides genes, there is also, uh, a phenomenon described by john ballbey and not only by him, but a psychological attachment that is formed between a mother and a child. the point here is that it is an attachment. it is formed on both sides, not only women or men parents conditionally, yes, it is attached to the object, but also, a child of a dog, a kitten, native or not

native, he also becomes attached in response, and such a two-way connection. she is strong enough. i don't know if it is less or more powerful than genetic, maybe more. well, in fact, this topic is revealed in the series, maybe even in more detail than. all of us from horned motherhood are like a teenager, anya becomes attached, then, supposedly to her sister, in fact to her mother, then to one friend, then to another and then a teenager looking for an adult. this is also a metaphor. actually the child of the searching parent. yes but uh i want. uh, you know, remember also that we are talking about technological breakthrough a and about the series, which reflects a new technology that can radically change the society at the core of all childbearing society. but , uh, the idea of ​​surrogate motherhood did not appear yesterday, and not even in the last century. no, more biblical stories, the wife did not give birth to a slave.

yes, a slave girl gave birth, well, in indian society, by the way, ancient it was quite such a case is described in the bible, there is this story, but in principle, it was not uncommon. this is not only a single, biblical, story there, and in ancient rome, a husband could sell a childbearing young wife for a while, and in order for her to bear a child for someone for a fee. yes, she returned home. it was like working, that is, it, but it also looked like an act, again, well, trading in a sense in the human body and as an act of great love and, uh, sacrifice, when a woman, uh, a friend’s sister or just another unknown woman, and the sacrifice was herself for the sake of her motherhood. well, there are not only victims, there are slaves especially and they don’t ask how the story actually serves the servant in the series, but here it is important to understand that from the point of view, that of antiquity, that of biokovia.

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with you, a podcast from schrödinger and i'm its host grigory tarasevich, editor-in-chief of the popular science magazine schrödinger's code and visiting. we have svetlana karlash psychologist, psychotherapist. well, and my wife. well, the most the main thing during the preparation of this podcast, not a single kotik was injured, we probably continue. now about the owners of services. that

was clear in your middle ages of your antiquity. here is the slave owner. there is his slave, there are servants working there, now it is more and more difficult. that's who the servant is, who's the master, let's say, when i go to the doctor. he is not my servant. rather, on the contrary, he is now leading high. although he does not provide a service, i also pay a salary there to the maid butler, if i had butler maids, i call the plumber. he seems to be social the class is lower, but you can’t look at the plumbing. they're going far away in a nice car that you and i never dreamed of, it's servants or a person providing a service, listening and the truth is, uh, caste and such orthodoxy in society, yes, a division that was orthodox and uh, clearly defined in the past fell off for centuries. well, in fact, now it hasn’t

fallen off in any way, our human nature, built on the dominant. and on the hierarchy of plumbing, and you are the dominant monkey, as they were, so they are. yes, thank you, thank you. and the question who has more raspberry ass, it remains relevant. and what then what now, yes, society, the social pattern of society is changing, but raspberry assholes are a priority , and in this sense it is still somehow necessary to dominate even if there are no slaves to the masters, and there are different social, you say different social status. yes, there are different financial status. and again, yes, we define this inequality. as you say serves or does not serve. uh, well, in this case , more raspberry ass also it is more crimson ass to draw. for a completely different character, for example , to make a dominant surrogate mother, that is, well, a very simple woman who cannot give birth herself

. also as a thought experiment so that no one, uh, viewer is hurt. uh, you mean hurt feelings? ah, for example, yes, a woman who cannot give birth, she is socially hierarchically lower, which, by the way, does not contradict the evolution of biology, because monkeys, who cannot give birth to monkeys in a hierarchical society occupy lower positions, has, uh, fewer bananas and nuts and, accordingly, she is beaten much more often and sleeps. she's in the corner they're in a warm place as soon as she gives birth to her. uh, social growth before our eyes. and this is beneficial, and the more she gives birth, the more high-ranked male, the higher she rises. yes, imagine a woman who is strict. mom is also a woman , she is a specialist woman who can give birth, especially in our society, in which

uh, infertility is on the rise and the numbers that point to infertile couples, uh, at every conference at every symposium are just amazing, uh, listeners. uh, in this sense, a surrogate mother is, firstly , a high-class expert, uh, an astronaut, in fact, in childbearing, who delivers the child to a couple even then. uh, if we have a dominant, a crimson ass built differently, we shift it. from one place to another we have a high-ranking navigator and low -ranking, uh, lying at his feet, trying to get her attention with money or something yet or real queues of women who, due to the fact that they are fruitless, are in a lower special place. it seems to me that you can think up a beautiful dystopia with a whole plot. it seems to me that they did it for the creators of the series. i've just demonstrated to you that and the question of inequality is decided by where the dominant is, and the dominant must

be placed virtually anywhere. well, look, we still have it. is such a utopia less realistic than the reverse? why do women often lose prestigious places, for example, sciences, having equal starts due to what they left to give birth, but in our country, the truth is, for the most part, the society remains patriarchal and there is really complete equality in high positions, such as science and some kind of management, well, there is really no complete equality there. it's true, after all , the young karl marx wakes up in me. isn't there exploitation in this? well, to a certain extent, there is , and i think that this is also connected with the fact that yes, there is, a certain task and roles for men and women and uh, we have uh from a historical point of view. only yesterday discord started about the fact that a woman equal in rights, uh, man and equal partner for a man, and not his servants, a uterus on legs, and so on. that is, in this sense it is comforted, and in this sense there is quite such an

unambiguous one. the point of view, which is held by representatives of the feminist movement of the third wave , that surrogate motherhood is unacceptable, in principle, just from the point of view of the objectification and use of the female body for such a utilitarian use. yes, a and b in this regard. yes, this is the role from which a woman cannot get out for centuries in that including, because inside it is also an integrated e, these stories are about the fact that she did not give birth defectively. yes, you will not give birth there , they will throw you out of marriage from the city of the family from the life of society. anything. she, of course, can provoke the acquisition of a child at any cost and the offer of such a service, as usual , because if there is a demand to obtain a child, yes, then there will be an offer, and women who are in difficult life situations, and in

this sense. yes, there is another line of relations in society. e. only in surrogacy motherhood is actually like prostitution, as in the love trade in people and the trade in one's own body. and when the body is literally rented out, even the name of the series is a container. yes, it reflects. in a sense, this point of view, that some kind of complex one simply sits, the mother of the heroes does not scream. you are a prostitute. you are a whore. here, how do you respond? this is what to answer such a mother? well , in this sense, the mother wants to support by the throat, generally fine. this is a heroine game. it's just, uh, beyond praise, because you want, uh, to start some kind of fight with her moment, and she plays great. yes, but still you want to ask me what i think, i'm prostitution - is it or not? no, i don’t think that this is prostitution, but i think that this is a very difficult episode for a woman, but, but

there is no contempt and some sort of non-movement of these women. listen, in many countries, uh, commercial surrogacy for money is prohibited, but it can be free almost when it is a ministry, yes, a ministry, and about the victim. it seems to me that it only makes sense. i'm sorry, but i'll do it today only a meaning that interrupts the meaning of procreation. it can help to leave the intact psyche to the same surrogate mother. that is, if she believes in her ministry, and it is more valuable to him than the function of childbearing, her own, where she wore she gave birth, and here is the meaning that came out. he can help her survive. eventually. yes, she didn’t just, uh, she passed, she gave away the torment. well, i got the money. and that she dressed great did it in general normally. you know, there is a concept. uh, in some countries now appears social sex. what social is it? how is it when it's uh, fine line.

yes, it doesn’t count about turkey when for people who can’t get sex, for example, there, but people with disabilities or there people who face a number of difficulties can’t find partners miss this, not necessarily disabled, they can seek solace in such uh, without e disinterested e sex workers, who are not for money, but in order to console, hug, stay and return a person to human dignity associated with sex, have sex with them. well, this healing the soul through the body. speaking with pathos, well, in fact , in my opinion, the woman has a story when the first world war and a young almost noblewoman girl gets e as a nurse in a hospital and, well , they drive her out of there because he had sex with a wounded man and i explain doctor. even if in his place there was the most scruffy, most

vile man, i would still give myself up, because they returned from the front. they are wounded, they can die at any moment, but here you are, in fact, not alone, it really is such a form ministries, truth well, look how we talk about extreme points, if the middle ones, well, first of all, let's not reduce everything to women's ministry. i remember classical literature , one episode of the strugatsky era came to my mind. about a handsome young officer who returned from the front in orders, uh, black-haired, broad-shouldered, and he was always seen in the company of very dubious ugly people , they often asked young women and friends under a glass, what are you, you are an enviable groom, especially when there are few men. he says i i spend some time with them, so that they have some kind of male joy, because no one will find a peasant for himself after the war. here the man turns himself into an object. this is also the norm, but he is himself in the object

of grisha, but this object is illuminated by the meaning for him, anything you can find somewhere, the higher meaning will work. it seems to me that such acute topics as surrogate motherhood are. eco, uh, there is a social goal and other things in general, these ones, which are on the verge of yes, on the one hand they break very much. cultural and historical context formed in tongues. sorry, yes, on the other hand, these facts have been in history for centuries too. yes, we are standing on a very thin line. i think it's about like a big kitchen knife, but you can not cut meat, but you can slaughter a person. energy, well, in general, yes. here, probably, the question is not about the phenomenon. e most surrogate motherhood. and about how we use it in private history or in social history in general, because here you are, after all , today in the role of such a boring lecturer. yes , everything is different at home, dear listeners. at us the opposite. in general, i'm the smartest . she's a fool there, but borsch well, it doesn't matter

in different ways, but still, if this story went through our lives, how would we razrulili it. here are the heroes in full ass. sorry for the existential crisis, of course from the existential here, as it were, for sure. eh, how would you and i choose here. and depending on what kind of scenario we have, do you mean eco, or are you like back to motherhood, because we will give marina i, uh, fantasize about what i would tell the child everything and maintain relationships. no, surrogate matter, i fantasize that if we were lucky, a surrogate mother would turn out to be a fairly adequate person. she would be in a sense, kinder, who would go to the family, and i would not have plucked her hair out of jealousy hearing. and i know that skeletons are like a psychologist. yes, i know there are skeletons in the closet. oh, and such complicated stories. they have very uh, big consequences for the family system as

a whole and for the fate of a particular person. in particular. i have seen such things many times. i could turn off the psychologist turn myself on psychologist, turning off a jealous mother. uh, you know, uh, theoretically. yes, but practically. i understand that uh. here a lot depends on whether we could get along with her, yes, like two people. well, here i'm not the only one building contact, let's say i could, maybe i couldn't. well, by the way, another variant of the situation with two mothers, the so-called mitochondrial, has now appeared. mom, let me remind you that we have genes in the nucleus and a little bit of genes are in the mitochondria of our cells, and some hereditary diseases are associated with mitochondria. and scientists and not in america although the couple is american, but the americans did not allow, in my opinion, in mexico they still have a clinic, in my opinion, some kind of clinic was not disclosed, they made a child who has the genes of one

woman in the core, well, of course, together with the genes of men, but mitochondria, genna of another woman, and the concept of mitochondrial appeared a little in parallel with mom. there is also a nuclear one, yes, but in fact, if it already seems to me, you get involved in something, here is kole or some more complex ones. e technology. if you decide to do this, then it is necessary, it seems to me, accept the consequences, they try to cut them off and throw them out the window. and this is my opinion. like a psychologist. first of all. yes, as a person, too. after all, you and i also had the experience of trying, and obtaining a child there on our own at the clinic. unfortunately, both experiences were crowned. success. yes, but at some point we decided not to try again. come on, my position, if you want my opinion, that, of course, genes are wonderful, but it is so important how a person grows, with whom he grows. and

then there's the obsession with genes. we are through. it's not clear and there is an episode in the series a little spoiler a little bit at all, when one of the heroines finds out that her sister. actually her mother. uh-huh and the girl is in shock the girl is in a panic. so i was sure that the girls would be completely different next to me. don't forget. well, you still have brains. and that's what he would have the reaction was the sister became. mom, what's the difference? we lived together , lived together, understood each other, and it often happens that a child lives with an aunt, they understand each other better than flushing. they better understand looked i wanted to finish than a we've stopped, in part, because these technologies. eh, how would they be about no matter how much they give hope, it's true that they are not progressive

. uh, if a woman uses a couple, a man together with a woman makes this decision what technologies, and at some point there comes a line beyond which, uh, it is too expensive in terms of health , waiting for some mental costs. and that's what you're talking about influence environment. i'm using the possibilities of adopted children here. well, and i, therefore, am not afraid of foster children. i'm ready for it because i certainly believe in genetics. in a sense , it is not supposed to be due to the position, but in general. i understand that the influence of light is much stronger , and in the end, the burners consider me their father. although how old he was when we met nine, in my opinion, eight eight, that is, he is biologically. the son of another man of another man and you, but at the same time he has my habits, my habits, gestures. to me

the name seems to be partly a facial expression, my political views are my views on life, and then we, uh, all of us come with you. eventually. yes, to what i already said, three meters earlier about the fact that the formation of attachment, and not just environmental ones. ah, the factors. yes, but in principle, the formation of attachment often determines, including the psychological status of a person, and including this genetic connection, mine is not mine, when i look at facial features, they are not mine. yes , but something comes to me through attachment. that is, i make mine, and then we have facial features start to change in your direction. agree i'm talking about me, it looks like a campaign. yes. i think that if we ever decide to adopt a child, he will be like us. i am also sure of this, even if he is genetically, and if he is stopped, then genetically he will not continue to have a relationship with you. always win. no, the task is to fight the people of genetics, i would rather unite. that's good. it seems to me, you know, well, like it's time to end our

podcast, let me remind you. this is a clue from loedinger's cat and is led by grigorit russia hiv scientific popular journalist, editor-in-chief of the kotyding magazine, and our today's guest svetlana karlovich psychologist, psychotherapist and my wife. this is a podcast of sex in the light on the first i am mark barto for today, my guest is clinical psychologist lina dianova lina hello hello, the mood is wonderful and the topic is such that you already know which topic is right right away, so that the topic is interesting. today we certainly have very spicy ones. even taboo somewhere, not only in society, but in all families, this is adultery and

cheating, who changes it more often, what do you think, from what i read according to statistics in 2008, such a psychologist by last name, hunger conducted a study that 70% of men and only 30% of women cheat in 2008 in a study journal, which means psychologists went to a dating site . 50% of married women, well, those and those are in a special relationship of truth. i have data that we have research that we have done from our institute. and i think you will be interested in the audience and the total percentage of cheating 58% of men 54% of women. imagine, while, of course, while uh, there are not only married couples who are in a formal relationship, there are also

cohabiting couples and couples who are just dating. would like to change from a number that do not change 17% of men 3% of women would like to change, but do not change. and what you just said is cheated by married men, uh, 50% of men, and with married men, 79% of women from among the past and i still know what statistics i collected 30% of men find lovers at work, and 20% of men and 35 % women cheat on vacation and 4% of men and 10% of women cheat with neighbors. but look what other cool statistics there are 50% of ming takes place in the house of one of the spouses. that is, you imagine, yes, this is while someone is at work or has left somewhere, or someone who cheats on vacation does not know that he is cheating on his bed or on her bed, so at home

30% of cases of cheating are picnics in nature or in the country 20% change in rented apartments and in a hotel. here's how you can explain the psychology of a person who cheats on himself in the apartment on the same bed on which he sleeps with his wife or spouse. well, they immediately come to my mind, but laziness. well, well, why bother, as if everything at home is already ready for everything familiar and b absence. well, here is the value of the marital bed. it seems to me that there are adrenaline implants in people who lack some kind of thrill in life is not an option. they very often resort to such forms of sexual intimacy in order to, in addition to this peppercorn, the connection itself experience a huge impact. hormones stress, and suddenly he will come. and so me, you know, what other statistics are interesting now, it will generally be just a number of not planned treason. 13% of men

change unplanned and 6% of women. what kind of unplanned betrayal of a corporate party and so on is another phobia in the piggy bank, our viewers have a rest for women that men at corporate parties change more often six percent six percent of women and 13, you know, this unplanned betrayal seduced him, as they find out, it means about cheating 52% finds out that the spouse is cheating either partner through sms correspondence. i left the page not closed, and in social networks mail and so on and so on. that is, it is absolutely inattentive. and you know, it seems to me that these are really some strange people. they already perceive their behavior to such an extent that they don’t even think about somehow covering up their lies and their deceit, either this is the norm for them, or they just adapted. they are really scattered and

inattentive. after all, there are also such people created by themselves 13%. uh, both man and wife. there here we are weeks on men and women 13% confess guilt learn about third parties. someone hires a detective, or ask their friends. it's 11% caught red-handed 6% and other evidence and now let's find out what 's going on in society one more statistical let's, but it turns out that 18% of women and only 10% of men cheat because of sexual dissatisfaction in relationships. it turns out that, as it were, men satisfy women less often than women men about the degree of satisfaction of men and women. you know what percentage of women go to bed with a man without experiencing real pleasure, that is, they go to bed with a man. because they are afraid of losing their spouse

, they are afraid that he will go to his mistress, find a mistress, or will turn to a woman for money, so as not to lose mutual understanding, and there are a lot of such women. i will not get attached to the numbers, and certainly, if we take a man who is next to such a woman in bed, the man is the same. well, yes, we are somewhere, perhaps similar to primates. or maybe even our brains are not so developed, like you, but we know how to feel. there is a difference when you eat on a boil. you, uh, delicious borscht! ah, or when you drink, uh, it means that borscht didn’t cook lean salty water, you need to prepare it. well, borscht turns, including from water, if let's eat, do you have a specific recommendation. how can a man prepare a woman for sex, if you assume from your theses that a man can feel? yes, you can feel. you feel that a woman goes to

bed with you, but she somehow, well, as if not very wants hmm you feel, well, you can definitely feel, you can no longer go and some truth. what's happening? yes? what happened? why is everything like this with us? hmm yes, and then there is some kind of contact, and then. well, it is born, then the prelude of arousal and closer relationships, if this prelude each person has his own, this is an absolutely normal experiment, which is carried out by various institutions that study human sexual behavior. an example is taken by a certain number of married couples, men are asked a question and asked to mark them on their body. e, means a felt-tip pen or some kind of device that leaves traces of the main erogenous zones. what do you think what appointed a man.