gender, and before childbirth this is a surprise surprise for them. i'm glad. and dad dad is not around. well, when he sees you, what are the feelings of your fantasies of the time when papa came, when papa is near? dad is also happy, well , just at some point, for some reason, you decided marina that you have to be a boy, that in order for dad to be around you have to be a boy. just because the child is in general, in principle, a-a o sexy, he does not realize his gender for a very long time he does not understand. what is the difference between boys and girls, that is, it is only in relation to adults. yes there girls dress up in pink boys dress up in blue, but the child does not have a sexual

gender. in fact, when you asked me about who, there, who decided to become a t-shirt, that is, is it yours or is it not yours? yes, here i am back, as it were, yes, and there is no such thing. well, who is a boy or a girl? just like i want to say that i'm a favorite child. well, in the sense, yes, the child came out in this sense, there i am, yes, i am of my decision. no, i don't see it there. i am, well, then marina grows, and at some point marina still, as if she is confronted with the information that she is marina marina is not misha yes, and marina needs to choose somehow at this moment, but now marina chooses toys for boys. i will assume that at this moment your own rejection of the fact that you are a woman a girl at that time occurred, if so, what could cause this rejection of the female essence. so interesting, now

such a picture appeared in my head and such a phrase yes, dad wanted a boy. mom wants to say that mom is cool, that is. here you go relations with mom are cool, but you feel dad more. i want dad to feel good, probably accepts more. that's probably, yes, well, because that way he will understand more. yes, it seems to be clearer. well, yes, that's why it's vanilla , it's not clear to the pope how to deal with it, as if there is this feeling. mom is far from being a vanilla person; in general, she was like dad loved mom. dad was soft. dad was kind, dad was attentive, dad did things that are still remembered, he yes, such moments and hmm what well, let's say, there with anyone

holiday. well, what a holiday. we are still sleeping. he woke up very early and ran for flowers. and well, roughly speaking, we woke up with flowers. here it is around the face. well, that is here. well, i don't know, for me it's a bright holiday on march 8th. it wasn't just him on march 8th. it's a birthday. it's some kind of holidays there mmm. well, he often tried. not well, just like that, i don’t remember, but on holidays. yes, he always did this to both my mother and me, yes to my mother, he still showed me in every possible way that you girl. yes, a more adult already period. when yes, that is, not quite a child. no, i don’t remember, let’s suppose that the first rejection of your femininity occurred then , in childhood, he was completely unconscious, but he led you to, let’s say, meet with dad, so that there would be more mutual understanding, so that dad would feel good, as you grow further and respectively 8 years old boy is born your brother your reaction. how did you

associate yourself with these events in general? how did you deal with the fact that a new person appeared in the family, she's fun, if you start from your own position. i put this on myself. responsibility for him senior. well , it was said to me, and there you are older, you have become older. now it generally happened in the family, when he appeared very strongly in him my brother. she kissed him straight infecting his ass there, yes, and that's right all the time it's in my opinion. again, how is dad with him? well, the youngest son there i am older, but he is a man. a person is a different upbringing. did not have.

this is his mom right here he is right here mother's skirt, right here. here, look, the chicken is there, yes, and how would dad go to him, well , as a boy, i don’t know how to write it. i didn’t fuss, i didn’t lisp, somehow it wasn’t there. no, i don’t know how to find a word. he and dad had some activities that you and dad didn’t have. i do not know there to go fishing to hunt in the garage. no, i'll explain now, bro, i don't remember just at what age? but he went to the kindergarten, they took him to the kindergarten to his grandmother, and i don’t remember. for what reason i had a little one there, yes, and that somehow then it didn’t go on i asked, like, what is the state of health, the climate is different there and my brother was sent to my grandmother. that is, i grew up with my parents and desires all the time. and they took him there, then my parents went there to tambov , now i’ll tell you when he was 12 or 13 years old, about the same as 14 adults. you are no longer

tin. i was 21 years old. i'm 20 yes 20-21 almost uh-huh. so i've already begun to live separately, yeah. here, but as if my father did not have this time. here, well, with uh, they grew further. here you become a girl there fourteen. well, how, how did you perceive yourself? how did you feel in this world kid? ah here is, i have perception was always only behavior such. here is our somehow something. i don't know it there. well, the behavior is more nuchkov. well , they don't. well, why do you think? i don't know how correct this is? well, dad perceived me like that, but dad accepted me like that, well, accordingly, probably, other men or other people there, probably, they should perceive it that way, they looked at other girls who behaved. otherwise how you treated them. here they are, i don’t know , they were painted as if, but they were like that, but like

noble girls. uh, this is a very interesting point, because i've always looked after myself. even though i felt. that is , i have such a perception that communication has always been there, right? but if i took care of myself, i put on make-up. hmm there, i don't know, there, well, hair styling, everything there. i always looked after myself, i always had it, but on vanilla girls like that. well, why suddenly they become somehow for you, uh, images dangerous or unacceptable? well, there were other girls who are different, why did you put some of them here, if it's vanilla right there, they have stupid stupid girls, right? uh-huh yes, yes, and, accordingly, it is very important not to become dull, not to become lips. maybe yes, but i didn't like it. naturally, no matter how i look at her i'm not like that, i won't be like that, and in any case, at some point, uh, physiological

processes began. when you realize that you have become a girl is this moment when you first had it? ah, these days are so -called, how did you take it and who was next to you, and you knew what was happening or you lay down to die from blood loss. it was a little different. we lived in a small village, we went for a walk, and friends came to visit us there. and how, well, my mother's friend is her daughter. so the four of us went for a walk in the center, let's call it the village in the center. here, and hmm, and when was it some kind of warm summer day, or what? well, in general, it's warm, sunshine, in my opinion, this is we are returning. i don't remember much about this moment at home. i told my mother that something is not right, well, something is somehow here, and we are going home, and this one is for you such topics were not discussed. that is, how did i self-educate myself? let's get into it in these plans, well sincere conversations.

never been with my mom. hmm, so that's where i came home. i have one. well, a kind of shock like that , somehow, yes, my mother was shown something like that. well, that is, here, well, as usual, well , a little worried about what's wrong there? well, now that's all. uh-huh yes, the meaning turns out to be some kind of individuation, but in the fact that you become with girls, mom did not commit. although it is she who makes this yes, this transition is exactly like this, that is, as if i’ll figure it out myself with a high probability , it’s possible to assume that your mother didn’t really know, as if from a woman, most likely, uh-huh, i just know my grandmother was like a woman with very feelings, that is, too. in general, this controller is very callous. this, well, she once worked for the fsb. hmm, she was sitting on reading letters, checking. well, in the sense of somehow listed. in general, all this is necessary on the noses

of everyone there. such are the cases, and, as it were, the grandmother is very tough, very feelings. uh, how much i loved to control everything and everyone. well, in general, my mother grew up in such circumstances, it turns out that this initiation did not happen and your mother did not immerse you in this process, but then anyway, you grow up and then the boys begin. uh , respectively, all sorts of gambling, marriage of a sexual nature, and so on, yes, that is, you understand that here, too , accordingly, you kind of have to make some kind of decision. you were scared , you knew where your life was taking you, or basically, i remember my first experience, and it was like, well, everything, smoothly flowing, everything is conscious. well, yes, yes it was. it wasn't relationship. it was at that moment that the relationship began, then it began quite so long-term. it happened, you know, when everything is already around.

uh-huh, i don't have one yet. well, somehow even somewhere ashamed, probably. well, this belatedness was also associated, as if with some kind of no, even underdeveloped femininity, that is, immaturity, yes, that's how you perceived it. complex that i shared this event with my dad? as dad reacted calmly, but he only said. well, this one sighed a little, but with such an understanding like this. he says well it your choice was there, yes, as it were, well, i would like, as he had such a phrase, but i would like that in marriage back and forth. in general, as it is supposed to be there, yes to my mother i was afraid to say this, dad said about it, mom's reaction was everything, as usual. and how? well, in

general, everything on this has become some kind of your sacred secret, that now you are a woman with you. are you like all of you now? well, probably partly. yes, i can assume that you have changed, and not to say that i was directly satisfied with all this. that is what it was something like that, right? well, probably somehow it will still be better not what everyone describes. everything is far away, not the same picture. uh-huh so i think that somehow it has changed and how your relationship has already gone astray. and i just got in a relationship. after that somewhere i don't remember after a while. well, somewhere in six months, probably, well, i'll start. yes, there the feeling became more somehow, and accordingly i then had, uh , relationships in which we had relationships, we lived together, then, uh, 5 years. in these relationships, you played some kind of female part

or after all, you immediately started playing the men’s game there, it wouldn’t have worked out much, probably, it was a party of your own to play some sort of women’s game. uh, because man. so to say, i can probably say stronger, probably, or i was dependent on him there. yes, it's boring. so we fell in love there, but at that moment i felt you cure me, and i kind of fell into him, but at first everything is so beautifully good, then somehow something more complicated went on, that's all. it felt like some kind of congestion. well, actually, it depends well, this dependence, that is, how i was after all, another clash with the fact that if you are a woman, then you are correspondingly in danger, because if you play this female part, then, of course, probably the man on whom you depend . hmm, there was a depreciation of you, yes, as a person, but as a person? how is the woman there? well, the man was walking for a while, he was straight, well, and it was

practically uncovered. well, that is , everyone knew, many knew. well, you continued to stay in that relationship. here i am talking about this, that it was addicted, most likely, as if hostage to the behavior of this here tomboy, who yes, you changed her to a softer, or something, female position , failure lay in wait here. yes, there was suppression here. that's how a person would like to crush me under him, so that i do. that's right, exactly everything that he wants, and he will do what he wants. well, that's what he wants , in fact. we have just discovered several stages, at each of which you were faced with being a woman. well , such a story is like a story in general. somehow, in general, it is tailored to men according to their

request, and being a woman often means simply serving the interests of a man. yes, in general , i do not agree with this somehow i do not agree with this. it's just culturally the way it looks now. i'm not saying that this is correct, but often women seem to find themselves in positions in which they have to serve the interests of a man. a man gets something. many people don't get anything. they just lie on the couch, but still continue to munching on themselves. eh, the ruler of the world is among the prey there. yes, here and a woman, accordingly, she somehow owes something all the time in this sense, a man also has a lot of debts and his cockroaches there, too. but judging by the way you tell you several times. e, at the moment of initiation of the transition of you, just the same, into this female state, girls, girls, women. yes, u have every time faced with the fact that this is not a very pleasant position. yes, she seems to be returning a little. and there is such

a hypothesis. say there is, if it seems true that at the moment when your brother left and he was sent to his grandmother, and you stayed with dad, dad who was expecting a son, and he had a lot of expectations about it. yes. and as if there was no lot left, even then, in order to please dad , in order to be next to him, it is necessary, as if to replace not only himself in the role of a non-vanilla girl, but also to replace his brother, very similar to this. well, that is, that position , it is more convenient, it is more familiar and there is a result from it, and we are psychologists sergei on ourselves tatiana krasnovskaya, and marina is our guest with whom we are discussing the nature of femininity today. what is the key fear now?

to become this woman, because i said that i hate vanilla women, but to support you, but at the same time, it was a kind of trick on my part, which consists in the fact that those images that you reject in many ways carry a danger for you, what does it mean that marina has become a vanilla woman? so let's imagine once marina is a vanilla woman and what will happen in this world? well , you know who will die, who will be upset, who will cry? who will be disappointed? well , let's think that means no one at all. well who no one dies from this, that's right. well, if marina suddenly tomorrow, of course.

to say vulnerability will come out with weakness, that is, here, but hmm sensuality will go there, probably, that's why i ask what will happen in the world along with the fact that one marina dies and does not wake up , this vanilla will wake up. so clung to, it’s very difficult for her to even imagine somehow this marina, probably it’s hard for me to even imagine how it will be, it will be somehow different in any case there. yes, this is probably what i strive for, what i want i see myself need to get out of myself. you're kind of scary. even scary. what's frightening there? well, that's what 5 minutes to take such a disappointment, who will be upset? who? i don’t accept myself, it turns out that you don’t accept this part. of course, marina will come, as alice frank’s office romance of the second series

comes in a completely different role. well, you come to work. completely different. here in some other femininity in some other hypostasis. your employees will stop listening to you no, our colleagues will stop talking to you. no, your partners stop talking to you. will they react now, they are faced with marina, who aggressively herself there and she can do it herself and thus also devalues ​​the male experience of relationships. you are trying to become a man, but at least in front of a woman. why did i say that when a boy is born a man is born?

because in this world, which is absolutely in our head, the idea is formed that women are not quite a person, as if not quite deserving. and everything that is possible, but the error lies in the fact that many women begin to enter into this confrontation, and in trying to level out very often they lose just themselves. and we are simply different, that is, men - this is a man, a woman, these are women, and we are just different , and here it is very important to allow yourself to be a woman, and allow men to be a man, without trying to remake anyone, because any remake is an attempt at castration. this is, in general, your castration. if i were a freudian of the brain of bones i would now say that it is your envy of the penis that is expressed in this way. maybe freddie was also for a reason

sew with a bast. yes, he understood what was at stake, but at the same time, with all that, it is clear that this is laid right in the very early childhood in games with boys. in the realization that i am not a boy, and there all this is laid and laid. the same envy, but it is important to learn how to work with this envy. and how can we work with envy, only realizing that you have your life , i have my own life, and when we begin to enjoy our own life, our own body, our own elements of manifestations, and our own perception, then we begin to receive both just your own life. and here it is very important that they just let it go and let them do nothing on purpose, but let this femininity flourish. i could ask, why is this part, which, of course? yes, you have it, it is femininity. this is vanilla even in the most hypertrophied manifestation. it's still there somewhere. yes, it is important to find some balance, but now that you

feel that it is worth discovering, that it is worth raising it? yes, and somehow show more that it will give. why is this probably want to answer. so, uh, my masculine behavior overlaps my relationship with a man. that's it, well that is me being afraid they don't suit me either. well, maybe i'm unpleasant. it’s just that even in such a manifestation it’s somehow too harsh. yes, when i put on a man, there and accordingly begins to somehow measure themselves with them. a hmm i want attention , like any woman i want attention i want normal attention, no language, so that there isn’t, let’s say, yes, so that she passes by there, yes, but i want it. yes i want to attention damn, yes, attention is attention, there are questions about your reaction to this attention. well, perhaps, for you, the attention of a man scares you. then you a priori will put on this protection that you didn’t look like that. by the way, that's why i said, there will be no bad

questions here. i wonder if it already exists? why is it dangerous? why is it dangerous to admit and admit it to yourself? let's imagine such a situation. here you are, there is a man who is interesting to you, and he begins to show his attention to you , his care, why is this dangerous? what's going on with you any other male taxi driver seller, there, i don't know, the loader director. uh, oligarch, whatever. here is a man, they still show attention. there is the first experience, most likely these relationships before which the first one will be right there. well, the first one is long. well, this is an abuse, they do not consider you a person. what do i want to do? this is even somewhere raising a hand, yes, physically impacting. well, it's

scary, but i don't know, it seems to me that i've already somehow learned. how to defend the border with me so you can not do. see you can to say whatever you like, if i have enough strength and i will beat you and go around, whatever i will do the question lies in something else , it is important for you now in order for this femininity to be found in which you are looking for you are looking not where you lost, where it is light , i understand this. and if you want her to be found, then the question is that you should be attentive to the attention that is shown, but at the same time, you don’t have to marry them to sleep. build relationships with them, but just let it happen attention to be, and in this attention your femininity will begin to unfold. and how i should answer should be accepted, because there is an idea, as if that as soon as this attention is shown in relation. to you. we need to quickly, quickly put up this protective barrier, because with this barrier, as if there is actually

empty space there and very quickly ah. this dangerous person, yes, come closer to you and there you don’t know how to be there further you will see it. even now there is a feeling as if there is a barrier. hmm arranged, and as if i owe something. if you do not show attention, then i seem to have to give something in return, that i owe something directly. well, nothing should, so i say, learn to just take this attention and be in it and that's it. i understood. yes, i didn’t look here, what i’m leaving with, here. with all understanding, which i firstly, we found these moments. honestly, i didn’t even realize somehow, i didn’t understand that it’s very valuable for me that we call these moments of my initiation. so i also saw them, that they are very were important on well, as on my formation, as a woman cool. and, accordingly, that i do not owe anything to anyone in fact. and just

this moment, when hmm well, i realized that i'm not yet where i need to be. i came here with this, but now there is still a moment that m-m. just accept, just enjoy, just be. well , simply yes, you will simply reveal femininity there. you don't have to do anything yourself. this is not a forced procedure. yes found that you just have to be it seems. yes, it just sounds simple. word there. yes, it's not always clear how to do it. that is, how it manifests itself, in fact, and i have, but an understanding of how to do it? he yes it is. i can just write this state, as i understand it, how i feel it, how to just be when you are in the moment, and you don’t have extraneous thoughts in your head. are you thinking of something in the future that i need to do? you are not in the past. the pace is digesting some situation. my aunt lyusya stepped on my foot 2 hours ago, how painful it was, what kind of bastard is she? sorry yes, and you are here. you see

some manifestations of a person. and, you know, a state of some kind of silence, i don’t know, inner silence, and you are in observation. you spoke very beautifully about the future, about the past, about the future. this is when the surrounding men show attention to you. but you don’t make plans about how to give your grandchildren the past, respectively, you don’t return the future - it’s to remove this position, i have to do it there, and i’ve already built everything there, yes, but don’t drag the past. here is the baggage from the past. here is the experience past men to compare our present. yes, there is just a person, as it were, and let him be like this, in order to remove this importance. this is the importance of attention approaching you because you , unlike the baby of the girl who had this initiation. you are an adult woman who is actually able to withstand this borderline and let

you in and approach you as much as you feel comfortable, even this pleasant, correct, good game. and right here in this, here there is even femininity, yes the class is super. it's good, in general. thank you very much. thank you, it was podcasteregers with you . we are sergey on ourselves. he is tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologists and psychotherapists, and marina was our guest with whom we talked about nature and her femininity. one of the biggest hits on ecobarzova riding a star, i remember when this song was premiered on radio maximum and it got into hot rotation. this means there once or twice at 3:00. we used to spin it, and every time we put it on, that's it riding on a star. i always tried to joke. this is what i've been doing for 30 years in radio. i try to joke with varying degrees of success. and every time i joked and said that well, every

time about different characters who created this star on horseback, on which nike tried to fly somewhere or ride out riding on a star. nike listened to it, listened, listened, listened , as i, then i realized, finally hesitated. just took came to my studio says. you make such a good joke about riding a star. i drew your wife on and gave me a portrait of my wife really very well drawn. he somewhere in my house. so he expressed his annoyance at my attempts to joke. on the theme of his cool song. thank you very much for the pictures, and we are listening to the main hit on ivf borzov riding a star in the podcast. astride the world clutching cries. on a leash of the wind

live your beautiful life you are quite beautiful.

circus on the beast devil fillet one end you are beautiful to me, you are quite beautiful. take my heart, keep the wine. trust me it's all right.

wind and created this world i myself you are beautiful need. you are completely beautiful it happens. take my heart for the sake of remembering the angel between everything is true.

hi all. this is a podcast 20 years later on the first my name is kostya mikhailov and my guest. marina chirkunova. total hello and nike borzov hi to see you at this late hour too mutual oh, always always know, today we will talk about 2004 - this is the year. eh, well, not so directly bright achievements this year , moscow city began to be built this year, in 2004

, such a two-wheeled platform as a segway appeared. in 2004 , cameras ceased to be film and are starting to be digital. by the way a. who else was there with you? yes, everything from right to all the artists, who was then, yes, who would be moreover, he was in the first in the second in the fourth was not. in the sense of yes, maxid was not in 2004 , it’s a pity, in my opinion, it was just in the year where the maxidrom mutated from the olympic type format . that is already maxidrom on the sly. so to speak, moved to the field, we played in the olympic and also in the olympic nike also played. hello olympic we shouted hello olympic oh high five. did you shout, or are you like that? hello olympic base, yes,

somewhere between a scream and just a whisper, yes a creak. oh, we are remembering now. i'm just throwing you on yours. yes, to your bright minds, so that this night you, maybe there is something to remember that it might resonate in your hearts from this 2004, da vinci's kong shot very powerfully in this 2004 , it was he who became a bestseller. well, it was written before that, also the watch was shot by timur bekmambetov in 2004. it was very strange there story. there, renata litvinova tried to adapt the lukyanensky patrol under and when lukyanenko himself looked at the script, he was horrified. he is such a guy, why did you return what kind of chernukha is in the spirit of this black-cinema, perestroika, damn it, and at that time such first channels were such a hop, and they bought the rights to lukyanenko and didn’t drive it away at all.