[000:00:00;00] dead space just came out at one time tore the market, but there are just more consoles, because then it was still, if i 'm not mistaken, an exclusive for consoles, and later it came out already, in my opinion, on a pc, but that's not the point in that these are games that we all played in them, we thought that and now the playstation 5, and there are 40-90 ti xbox video cards new. but if those games are again graphics, well, these are generally gaps. it's just mega cool and here we are back to the money. yes yes, i agree with you here. just very simple. that's how much development costs. how much does marketing cost , we said these gigantic commissions in order to beat it all off. they, of course, when you have a game cost of not one million dollars, and there you don’t want to risk 10 or more, so there are proven schemes where there really is an audience. well , in general, to be honest, there is a feeling that there are fewer cool new products every year. it

turns out, yes. so i just remember before even there years even, probably, 5-6 years ago you open some kind of yandex or google e, in search of waiting chief there are expected games. ugh next year. and there is just darkness, and you are scrolling through and you understand. oh this is what i want. and here we are, and we will play with a friend. a. well, that's where i already scored 20 25 in my head there. now i'm even, let's say. uh, i looked there just a couple of days ago, i understand, but well, five, well, maybe six, i just got old. now, i can’t understand, it’s me who has grown old and there my environment or the actual game has become a little different. of course, we all grow old, but the fact is that the market changes, and the market does not change by itself. it is changing after our world, as we know, our world has entered a completely unique phase, and it can be called differently, but it is definitely interesting and will lead to tremendous changes. and what we

see now is the priests. rebuild, because now a huge number of ties are beginning to break, and because nature does not tolerate emptiness. they appear in another place , perestroika is underway, and just at that moment no one wants to take risks, so now everyone will play in the gamedev market. in my understanding, either as much as possible, or vice versa, as adventurous as possible. here's someone who's probably going to try to make something very cheap right now, very much, uh, well , good luck, and it can shoot. you see, if we look at those game mechanics that are used, they are all hackneyed. yes, new mechanics may appear, or with the advent of a new tool. here is the same virtual to full reality, or something fundamentally new in terms of approach, but here is virtual reality she has already given us a lot of things. but, by the way, hmm, i'm young, but i still remember

the time. yes, they called the young ones were games, but there were no mice. oh, yes, it's just that there were no mice and played. i'm the same wolfenstein on e, keyboard, and i still played mortal kombat. yes? yes, yes, yes, and then there was a mouse. and you know, that was the feeling when it was as if the wings behind my back opened up. i realized that there are huge opportunities in front of me, this small simple tool allows you to do something that used to be was impossible. in principle, therefore, it is quite possible that there will now be some kind of technological breakthrough. let's take one more moment. uh, so, as we have, uh, the first issue, we only introduce our audience. possibly with computer games. and who is it? this is the audience, it really is everyone who is playing, here is some age. here is the one we can highlight. ah, there is the popularity of the men that play, mostly only young people. in fact, this is really a delusion, and if in russia we can talk about the average

age. very different high school grades economies give 36-37 years, and some polls give 31-33 years. this is due to the fact that you are 36. how is it connected that you are six, i did not say this. i didn't confirm anything. and in the usa it’s a little older, and in china it’s a little younger, but more or less all over the world there is a general trend that it’s not children who play , moreover, most importantly, it’s not children who pay. we as developers, we want to earn what we want, we want to earn a day. we don't want to just make free games that we pay for ourselves, so we want to make games for adults. we want to make games more smart. we want to make games with a big story, so that you yourself would be interested in making these games, as i understand it, right? well , including there is such a very interesting to make simple games, it seems to me, that is, first you do done. it's just insanely difficult to make a simple one, roughly speaking, much more difficult in my understanding. and like i said

games. this is a huge popularity, this is a culture, and this is a conductor, and in my understanding , all over the world now, and the state will make state orders for the creation of the right games for the youngest population. here look at china is the same. it has already started there. you can then say that playing is already a new idea. is it an accomplished fact or is it the future than media. it's something more. than entertainment. this is a new kind of culture in my understanding. this is the junction of the culture of art - this is something that did not exist before. well, that sounds really ambitious. this is true, but as they say, you can’t put it all down, but it’s very interesting and really , according to statistics, people now play games more than go to the movies, for example, this is already happened here helped us. let's be honest 19.6% of the point for the pandemic is not experienced, growth, gamers. this is the 20th year we usually go

there, well, 8% a year grows here almost 20 at once. naturally, all investors broke down to give money for games. naturally, and these are state investors and private investors and funds, all in russia, such a number of investment funds have appeared that i have never seen exactly at the end of this twentieth year. well, okay. these are the growth rates. i want to put money in there. why does it lead to us for casual gamers or developers? even more vacancies more products someone will fail. yes, this is a fact of venture, it's okay, but suddenly there will be cool titles. i would like to believe in the best. i believe in our geniuses too. even against the background of esports , it happened many times. yes, we have the genius of esports alive growing. say it again, please, russia has always been rich in talent, and uh. task in my understanding of the state. just help with this talent. you know how they joked in the soviet union.

help talent mediocrity. here it is the same story. eh, now that's the direction. know how we'll make friends. i propose to slow down at this point today, so that it would be more interesting to find out in the next issue what is in store for video games in russia now? we are twenty-third year and generally talk in more detail, how i will make money on the computer will share with us friends. is this a podcast pc or console? my name is ilya peretsky cybersportsman and my friends dmitry president of the russian cybersport federation konstantinskiy game producer developer games teacher of the higher school of economics put likes everywhere on the tv set the button

likes put likes see you very soon. this is a podcast of triggers, and with you again today we are sergey nana and tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologists and psychotherapist. hello and today in our studio marina tell us how you came to us. i had such a request literally. recently, i realized that i am not aware of my femininity, what is it. well, about the fact that i am a manager and i have such a more masculine character and how would my position me, as if obliging all the same to keep himself, and recently. i try to consider in myself a woman, only a woman that i will like, what should be there. and that's what literally recently, i hmm realized that i'm chasing, for some kind of some kind of pattern of this femininity, a generally accepted pattern. it

must be some kind of vanilla femininity there, yes, there is a vanilla woman, there mimimi there, i don’t know, i hate it. i realized that this is not about me, but i'm chasing this, but it's not about me at all and well, here's just one little man literally there a few days ago , a girl told me, she says, i like your femininity so much. she is special for you, she is different for you, and i realized that i mean her, i don’t see her. well, that is, i don’t understand what kind of mine it is and i’m chasing some kind of template. here's a request that i want to consider it. and apparently i don’t accept it, as far as i understand from myself again, if for some reason i’m chasing this vanilla, according to you, you’re in control as a result of the fact that you have a masculine character or you still have masculine warehouse of character, because you are in control. good question. i think one follows from the other. i have been on my own since childhood. since childhood, i have not

been involved, almost my parents. that is, i have always been left to my own devices, even somewhere right from childhood, they delegate some duties to me that, in principle, do not suit a child. well, yes, well, that is, at that moment, that's why i think it's most likely that i've always been responsible. i had to be responsible. i have always been the eldest, as it were, well, respectively, in the course i am management. then, as it were, the logic builds up a little differently, because you started with the fact that i am a manager, and therefore i have a masculine character. now it's turning around a bit. and as a result, it is being reviewed, because, well, we need, of course, to detect some determinism, and elements of the psyche, and for the terminated event of your last year, so that we can understand, so to speak, where all this could communicate and began, and you younger brothers sisters younger brother, younger by eight years. yes on

eight years old i'm now 42. 8 years old, essentially grown up alone with my parents. yes, that’s how this gap is, what do you remember about it now i vaguely remember, i practically don’t remember, and this period there are some such small outbreaks there is some kind of new year there, i don’t know, some went to visit. well, here's something like that, i just remember what i remember, just the same, when i started to remember better, when my brother appeared. i abruptly became an older older adult. that's it, i've been here for 8 years. i was already an adult. yes, i don't remember. yes ka yes no, not like that, let's go, so we went to visit. i am a mother dad. yes, how old are you at this moment, whom did you go to visit, what is happening right in the present tense. write friends of my parents, very good friends. there was a certain company there, there were just three or four families, i don’t remember exactly, and we

constantly, if we gathered. these are holidays events, especially the new year. for some reason, i remember exactly the new year, it was just these families. we were the children i was. well, a girl and another boy, who is older than me , everything that i remember myself is sitting at the table at table. they somehow communicate on their own topics there, who are in the same room, who is in the kitchen here smokes there is something else such a feeling somehow in their own kind of merke why? well, i want to say some kind of my own mirok. that is, i do not belong to them. i myself play relaxed. but in principle, somehow here, but how would they describe you. here is marina with us , she is what an independent. well, such a marina will always be put there you will take, yes hmm well , in the sense, marina will not go anywhere, nothing would happen to her. it looked like some a form of what might seem like indifference towards you. yes, i

still have a feeling, that is, that, well, no matter how fond, probably, yes, there is not a board on this or somehow i don’t know how a girl. yes, i always feel like i was. and even as a child i always played with toys, but i don’t know there, a machine gun, a ball, there was something like that, that is. well, here's the boy, it seems it was your choice, or is it still how you are brought up. this is most likely not my choice. i think you 're wondering why you could choose to be boy is the first phrase that comes to mind? did the pope want a boy? did the father want a son? yes, well, somehow here in some conversations. i heard it. that's not right. he told me that, well, no, i first wanted a boy, i don't remember this. yes, but in some that dad really wanted a boy. if i now ask you to imagine such a picture, imagine a separate

department. a woman in labor is lying, and this is your mother. and so she gives birth and are born. here you see a little girl. what are your feelings cause these events? this picture is a picture, but i see mom looking at her and how do you feel? so you were born with a girl? perhaps they did not know who would be born then they still could not bet. this is a surprise for them . i'm glad. and dad dad is not around. well, that's when he sees you, what are the feelings of their fantasies of the time. that's what

i see when the pope came, when the pope is nearby. dad is also happy, well, just at some point , for some reason, you decided marina that you have to be a boy, that in order for dad to be around you have to be a boy. just because a child but in general, in principle, ah, o is sexy, he does not realize his gender for a very long time, he does not understand. what is the difference between boys and girls, that is, it is only in relation to adults. yes, girls are dressed in pink, boys are dressed in blue, but the child does not have a sexual gender. in fact, when you asked me about who, there, who decided to become a t-shirt, that is, is it yours or there, not yours? yes, here i am back, as if yes, and there is no such thing. well, who is a boy or a girl? just like i want to say that i am a favorite child. well, in the sense, yes , the child came out. until without in this sense, there i am , yes, i am of my own decision. no, i don't see it

there. i am, well, then marina grows, and at some point marina still, as it were, faces the information that she is marina marina is not misha yes, and marina needs to choose somehow at this moment, but marina chooses toys boy games are boyish. i will assume that at this moment there was your own refusal that you are a woman a girl at that time, if so, what could have caused this rejection of feminine essence. how interesting, now such a picture appeared in my head and the phrase was such yes, dad wanted a boy. mom wants to say that mom is cool, that is. well, the relationship with your mother is cool, but you feel more like dad. i want dad to feel good accepting more. that's probably, yes,

because in this way he will understand more, as if more understandable, as it were. well, yes, and therefore this is vanilla, it is not clear to the pope how to deal with this, as if there was this feeling. mom is far from being a vanilla person, in general he was like dad loved mom. dad was soft. dad was kind, dad was attentive, dad did things that i still remember there, but such moments and hmm what well, let's say, there with any holiday. well, what a holiday. we are still sleeping. he woke up very early and ran for flowers. and well, roughly speaking, we woke up with flowers. here it is around the face. well, that is here. well, i don't know, for me it's a bright holiday on march 8th. it wasn't just him on march 8th. it's a birthday. it's some kind of holidays there mmm. here you go, he often tried. not well, just like that, i don’t remember, but on holidays. yes, he

always did this to both my mother and me, yes to my mother, he still showed me in every possible way that you are girls of an adult period. when yes, that is, not quite a child. no, i don’t remember, let’s say that the first rejection of your femininity happened then in childhood , he was completely unconscious, but he led you to, let’s say, meet with dad, so that there is more mutual understanding, so that dad feels good. as he put it, and then you grow and respectively 8 years old boy is born your brother your reaction. how did you associate yourself with these events in general? how did you cope with the fact that there was a new person in the family, she was fun, based on her own position. i hung such responsibility for him as an elder. well, it was said to me, and there you are older, you have become older. now you generally happened to me everything, when

he appeared, it was carried away very much into him by my brother, she kissed the infection directly, and here he is yes and all the time this in my opinion, again, how is dad with him? well, the youngest son there i am older, but he is a man. some other person, different upbringing. there wasn't. this is his mother right here, right, he’s right under his mother’s skirt, right, that’s what it looks like, the films are there, yes, but, as it were, dad to him like well, like a boy. i don’t know how to write it like i didn’t fiddle around, i didn’t lisp, it’s not there somehow. no, i don’t know how to get a word. he and dad had some activities that you and dad didn’t have. i do not know there to go fishing to hunt in

the garage. no, i'll explain now, bro, i don't i just remember at what age? but he went to the kindergarten, they took him to the kindergarten to his grandmother, and i don’t remember. for some reason, i had a little one there, yes, and that somehow then i didn’t ask further, it seems, as if the state of health, the climate is different there and my brother was sent to my grandmother. that is, i grew up with my parents and desirable ones all the time. and then they took him there , and my parents went there to tambov. now i’ll tell you when he was 12 or 13 years old, about the same as adults were 14 years old. you are no longer tin. i was 21 years old. i am 20 yes 20-21 almost yes. so i started living separately. here, but as if my father did not have this time. here, well, with uh, they grew further. so you become a girl and you are fourteen there. well, how did you feel about yourself? how did you feel in this world kid? ah here is, i have perception was always only behavior

such. here is our codec - somehow something. i don't know where it is, well, the behavior is more boyish. well, they are not te, well, why do you think? i don't know how correct this is? well, dad took me like that, but dad took me like that, well accordingly, probably, other men or other people there, probably, so they should have perceived on other girls who behaved. how else would you treat them? here they are, i don’t know, they were painted as if, but there were such as noble girls. uh, this is a very interesting point, because i've always looked after myself. even though i felt. that is, i have such a perception that communication has always been there, right? but if i looked after myself, i put on make-up, i m-m there, i don’t know, there, well, hair styling, everything there. that i have always looked after myself, i always had it, but on vanilla girls like that. well, why do they suddenly become

somehow for you, er, images dangerous or unacceptable? well, there were other girls who are different, why are you afraid of them, some here, if it's right there with vanilla they have stupid stupid fools, yes, yes, and, accordingly, it is very important not to become stupid not to become stupid. maybe, uh-huh, maybe yes, well, i didn't like it. naturally, no matter how i look at her i'm not like that, i won't be like that physiological processes have begun. when you realize that you have become a girl, this is the moment when you first had, and these days are so-called, how did you perceive it and who was next to you, and you knew what was happening or you lay down to die from blood loss. it was a little different. we lived in a small village, we went for a walk, and friends came to visit us there. and how, well, my mother's

friend is her daughter. so the four of us went for a walk in the center, let's call it the village in the center. here, but hmm, and when there was some kind of warm summer, is it a day? well, in general, it's warm, sunshine, in my opinion, this is we are returning. i don't remember much about this moment at home. i told my mother that something was not right, well, somehow , here we are going home, but this one himself did not talk about such topics. that is, i myself educated myself in these plans in sincere conversations. never been with my mom. hmm , so i came home. i have one. well, it's kind of a shock, yes. mom is shown such that you, well, that is, here, well, as usual, well, what are you going through? what is there ? well, now that's all. here too the very proceedings of some such individuation, but that you become with

a girl, mother did not commit. even though she's the one who does it. well, yes, the transition is exactly like this, well, that is, how would you figure it out yourself, with a high probability, you can assume that your mother didn’t really know, like a woman, most likely, uh-huh, i just know my grandmother, that is, too. in general, very callous, this is the controller of it, but at one time she worked for the fsb mmm. she sat on read letters checked. in general, all this is necessary on the noses there everyone. such are the cases, and, as it were, a grandmother is very tough, very callous. how much she loved to control everything and everyone. well, in general, mom grew up in such circumstances, it turns out that this initiation did not happen and mom did not immerse you in this process, but then anyway you grow up and then boys begin, and, accordingly, all sorts of gambling, marriage of a sexual nature and so on, yes, that

is, you understand that here, too , accordingly, you kind of have to make some kind of decision. you were scared you knew where your life was taking you or , in principle, i remember my first experience, and it was like, well, everything is in a smooth flow, everything flows, yes, yes, it was. it was not a relationship. at that moment it was an ambiguous relationship. then such long-term ones began. it happened, you know, when everything is already around. uh-huh, i don't have one yet. well, somehow even somewhere ashamed, probably. but this belatedness was also associated with immaturity, as if with some kind of femininity , not even femininity, yes, that's how you perceived it. it is difficult to complex

i shared this event with my dad. uh-huh as dad reacted calmly, but he only said. well, this one sighed a little, but with such an understanding like this. he says, well, it was your choice there, yes, as it were, well, i would like, as he had such a phrase, but i would like it to be back and forth in marriage. in general, as it is supposed to be there, yes to my mother i was afraid to say this , dad said about it, mom's reaction was everything, as usual. and what, like uh-huh well, in general, everything on this has become some kind of your sacred secret that here you are now you have a woman you now how are you all now? well, probably partly. yes , i can assume that you have changed, and not to say that i was directly pleased with all this , that it was something like that, right? well , probably somehow it will still be better not what everyone

describes far, not the same picture. uh-huh, i think that somehow it has changed. so how did your relationship develop? and i just got in a relationship. after that , somewhere i don't remember, after what time? well, somewhere in six months, probably, well, i'll start. yes, there the feeling became more somehow yes and, accordingly, i then had a relationship in which we had a relationship, we lived together, then, uh, 5 years. did you play some kind of women's game, or did you immediately start playing men's there , it would not have worked out very well, probably, it was still some kind of women's game of your own. uh, because the man is m. how do you say it? i can probably say stronger, probably, or i was dependent on him there. yes, it's boring. i fell in love there, but i felt at that moment you had feelings. i’m into it, it’s like me, but at first everything is so beautifully good there, then somehow it got a little more complicated, that's all. such

felt laid all some. well, in general, yes, it depends, well, depending on that is, i was still some kind of another collision with the fact that if you are a woman, then you are accordingly in danger, because if you play this female part, that is, you become a hostage of a man on which you depend. there was a depreciation, a depreciation, a depreciation of a woman. yes, as a person, as a person, as a woman he walked, after a while he was straight, but moreover, it was not undisguised in practice. well then is known to all knew many. well, you continued to stay in that relationship. here i am talking about this, that it was dependent, most likely, as if the hostage of the female

position here lay in wait for failure, yes. there was suppression going on here. that's how a person would like to crush me under him, so that i do. that's right, exactly everything that he wants, and he will do what he wants. well, he wants like this, well, in fact. we just discovered several stages, at each of which you were faced with what to be woman. well, such as history itself is not profitable, in general, somehow the whole world is here. it is tailored to men according to their request, and being a woman often means simply serving the interests of a man, somehow she does not agree with this. it's just culturally the way it looks now. i'm not saying that this is correct, but often women seem to find themselves in positions in which they have to serve the interest of a man

. they just lie on the couch, but still continue to beckon themselves to the ruler peace. subscribers including yes, but that woman , accordingly, she somehow owes something all the time in this sense, the man also has a lot of debts and his own cockroaches, but judging by the way you tell, you several times at the moments of initiation transition of you, just the same, to this feminine state, girls, girls, women, yes, every time you are faced with the fact that this is not a very pleasant position. she seems to be giving back a little. and there is such a hypothesis. say there is, uh, if it looks like the truth, that at the moment when your brother left, and he was sent to his grandmother, and you stayed with dad, dad, who was waiting for his son, and he had a lot of expectations about it. yes. and as if there was no lot left, even then, in order to please dad, in order to be next to him

, it is necessary, as if to replace not only himself in the role of a non-vanilla girl. she also replace the brother is very similar to this. well, that is, this is the position, it is more convenient. it is more familiar and it has a result. well , boy, what i said. this is a podcast triggers, and we are psychologists sergey on ourselves on tatyana krasnovskaya. our guest is marina with whom we are discussing the nature of femininity today. what is the key fear now to become this woman, because i said that i hate vanilla women, and support you, but at the same time, it was a kind of trick on my part, which consists in the fact that those images that you reject in many ways they carry a danger to you, which means marina has become a vanilla woman? so let's imagine once marina is a vanilla woman, and what will happen in this world

maybe the world? who will die, who will be upset? who will pay? who will be disappointed? come on, think about what no one means at all. well, whoever dies, no one dies from this, of course this is important. in the world, along with the fact that one marina dies and does not wake up, this vanilla one will wake up. listen, marina is so clinging, it’s very difficult for her to even imagine somehow this marina, probably it’s hard for me to even imagine how it will be somehow different in any case there. yes, this is probably what i aspire to, what i want to see for myself

get out of yourself. you're kind of scary. even scary. what's frightening there? well, that’s what you can’t accept for 5 minutes, i say this, who will be disappointed, who will be upset, who will not accept. i don't accept myself. yes you do not accept this part of the unconditional novel comes in another completely there pva to work. completely different. here is some other femininity in some other put. your employees will stop listening to you no, our colleagues will stop talking to you. no, your partners will stop

communicating with you. will react now they run into marina, who is aggressive, like a tomboy, a strong manifestation there and she can do it herself and thus also devalues ​​the male experience, as if in retaliation for that first relationship experience. well , it turns out roughly speaking, i am measured with them in the male world, you are trying to become not up to a man, but at least in front of a woman. why did i say that when a boy is born a man is born? but because in this world, which is absolutely in our head , the idea is formed that women are not quite a person, as if not quite deserving. a everything you can, but er, the mistake is that many women start to enter into this confrontation, and in an attempt to even out, they very often lose,

just themselves. and we are simply different, that is, men - this is a man, a woman is a woman, and we are just different, and here it is very important to allow yourself to be a woman, and allow men to be a man, without trying to remake anyone, because any remake is an attempt at castration. this is, in general, your castration. if i were a freudian of the brain of bones, i would now say that this is your envy of the penis is expressed. he was also not just a bast. yes, he understood what was at stake, but at the same time it is clear that this is laid down right, in the very early childhood in games with boys. you realize that i am not a boy, and there all this is laid and laid. the same envy, but it is important to learn how to work with this envy. and how can we work with envy, only realizing that you have your life, i have my own life, and when we begin to enjoy our own life, our own body