re-transferred or has everything changed? i don't, i don't know, but what i noticed in the film, uh in this hmm, like a playmaker, neva she sometimes talks about these aphorisms that we hear. yes, it is, well, in your opinion, it is, as it were , done in order to make it more recognizable. i think so, but again, this is not my question. eh, it's more likely, by the way, scriptwriters to the director and creative producers and so on the actor, of course, well, what do they say to you, of course? yes, although, how did you allow me to improvise on the site and somehow from add something to yourself? well, somewhere, yes, but here there is such a very line, after all, a different time is a different language, a different manner of communication between people. and uh, really go under yourself to pull the type. and how would it all be here

of course not. well, there was no such task. that's why no, i probably suggested something, but basically, somehow i'm a pretty obedient artist, look, in recent years these action movies have become very popular. we watched a lot of films about famous people. there, starting with yesenin, and now a film about vertinsky has been released, a film about anna german has been released. about lyudmila gurchenko in general, they sort out almost all uh hmm celebrities. why do you think there was such a m-th request from viewers for series about such people. probably because the scale of the personality, because an interesting fate, because the joint and fluff of the times of ranevskaya, of course, an interesting fate, of course. well, how, however, we have him there at

vertinsky’s, it’s understandable there vertinsky is also present in you in e. well, just a little. yes, just like quite a bit. yes, such a runaway. yes, see another question that always arises when you look at hmm in credits on the performer of the main video, whose name is maria something tsygal. polishchuk , of course, the association with, uh, your parents is nowhere. you can't get away from this, you won't go anywhere. and i think that at some point, maybe they will shoot the same series about your mother, because, in fact, her fate also kind of reminds, well, in some kind of twists and turns of fate, yes. in general, these are certain roles of one role. and also one official once he said a phrase about her, they didn’t say anything about her. she has the face of a non-soviet woman and her

well, she was not filmed. quite right. at i had the face of a hollywood woman. i always have a question for the children of such famous actors , what drives them to become actors. here are the fates of their parents. yes you know me. well, of course, i thought about it a lot, i don’t think it’s something like that. here i go quickly. you just live in certain conditions. i don't know how it is to live in some other family. i have lived with this family all my life. i have lived all my life with this mom , with this dad, grandmothers, grandfathers, and so on, and this is some kind of natural environment. there has always been a theater where i endlessly followed my mother. my nanny worked as a props at another theater. in this theatre, it is already endlessly sent to the rehearsals of other artists, and somehow the child learns what they see at home.

it's true, i can't imagine what would have to happen in order for me to fall in love at school, for example, physics or chemistry, but you could follow in the footsteps of your father there you could if at least a little bit, i liked uh, i can't do it at all i did not like to draw, unfortunately for some reason, misfortune. well, it's not clear because the fate of the artist. uh, and usually even more difficult than the actors, because the actors we have seen do not depend on anyone. you are on your own. it's true, dad got up in the morning and went, to be honest, he went. well, he went, nevertheless he broke his leg on the first of january. went out for a walk with the dog, slipped and fell. broke his leg, that is, how would he go to work, as if to work. well, of course, no one forces him to do it, because he wants it. yes, of course, it depends on the actor,

especially in the state theater, especially in the repertory theater, in which i no longer have to work. be kind on the schedule and write in connection with which you sometimes throw such hmm hooks, for which i can’t help but catch on in the theater on malaya bronnaya since 2007 and i’m afraid to count it, because with mathematics. i'm not very good. well , something there is 15. you see, you counted very quickly. i can't do it that fast either. at the end of last season i was fired and the staff and left on the contract, but since the contract i am not obliged to come to play performances on the days when i have performances and since i have. months in a row coincided that i could not? well, that is, i could choose i

can or i can’t, and i chose not to be able, and i really like that i don’t officially owe anything to anyone else. yes, i have a work book in my folder with folders, in which there are folders with documents. if you are invited to the main roles, then your career and your kind of fate, including more or less material ones, i understand but if not, then you don’t work in the theater either, then as a matter of fact, uh. i work in the theatre. it’s just that i work in an independent theater and it’s just that you just one person rents a room , other people come there and play performances there, and there are a lot of different cool things. and that's great. that's just fine and that's the way i'm just a great pleasure. getting even in some cases, by the way, decent money. it's

great. i was very glad to meet you. yes , it is admired by your, as it were, work. me name is igor igritsky. we say goodbye to you . i had a wonderful actress marie, this gypsy, polishchuk, who played the main role in the tv series ranevskaya. and all the best. i hope that we will see each other more than once. we are god goodbye. hello this is a podcast triggers and i'm sergey with you, he is a psychologist and tatyana krasnovskaya, a psychologist and a psychotherapist, and we are talking with our guest olga olga tell us what you came to us with today, and i came after a relationship with an abuser. so a psychopath, probably, but having lived with him for some

for a period of time, i now understand that in my life there are some consequences of these relationships, and i catch myself that i can’t cope on my own and i have some kind of body reaction. yes , inappropriate for some situations. it seems to me that i perceive the situation incorrectly and i have no right. there to be offended to be annoyed. that is, it seems to me that i invent everything myself and it turns out. i suppress these emotions and i don’t suffer from it myself and it seems to me that when people talk to me, i understand everything wrong, that is, some kind of everything, perverted, as if i was some kind of distortion and in general , somewhere the norm. how old are you 35 years old? how many years have you been right in that relationship for three years, and how long have you lived in them for two or three years? how do you talk to a psychopath and an abuser. tell us how it was in general, that it was met in moscow. he turned out to be an arab from egypt, in the sense you did not

know. yes, he told me that he is half- arab, half-american. this was my first mistake of him, because i turned a blind eye to it. so when you can start dating, i started asking him. i i say, after all, where is your mother, where is your father? what are their names, and he says, well, that is, well, we will get to know each other. i say ok here. well, it turned out, ended up there after a while relationship. i realized that he is a pure slave and not just some kind of elite blood, how did he position himself? and that he graduated from some american universities there, he’s just from egypt and a rather poor family, but he really wanted to seem like such a status person, they wouldn’t immediately start building relationships , i still probably have some stereotypes.

yes that seems to me well mobility. but you also need to understand what kind of person. well, that is acquaintance. oh well, with egypt, i still have the guys. it seemed to me that nothing serious could happen to him. well , they built a pyramid somehow. well, you haven't managed to build this pyramid yet. no , probably, they have respect for him, so about it. well, tell us how your relationship was built. it so happened that i lost my job in moscow, and he says, he lives in dubai uh-huh and says, come on, come to me. in general, we will build relationships. i dropped everything. well, no work. and how long did you meet while you were in moscow, uh, about three months, three months, and then i went to dubai, that is. first i went with him to visit him for his birthday for 2 weeks. then she returned to moscow and then left completely. well, not like i left at all, but i’ll just

return, i won’t return, it was open, and we started a relationship, everything was beautiful. that is, it looked after very beautifully, well, how beautiful, but he is acceptable. and if we went to a restaurant, if it was in moscow when he always called the car, that is, there are always restaurants there every time flowers then, of course, we had relatives. for relationship and when i came there he lived in a hotel, since he was here on a business trip, he lived in a hotel with a film crew, and they were filming a tv show for a football match. that is, they lived in a hotel. when i always came, it's always roses on the bed. it's always a bunch of flowers. a bunch of treats, there are a lot of romantic decorations. i mean, this is just too much. and that is, this is what i put into some kind of fairy tale. yes, that is, as if that's how i got swirled. that's how cinderella and i liked it there. uh-huh, i just wanted to keep it yes. and probably, later, when they already

started some. i have very pleasant events in our relationship to occur. i knew how it was, they began to happen when you left there, when he proposed to me , he proposed or not in moscow in dubai, i flew to dubai, we began to live everything was beautiful, and then ah. i caught it at first glance, i saw a photo by chance kissing with a girl, where he takes a selfie against the background of our roughly speaking bed. when i asked him, well, what is it? he said i misunderstood everything. it's just a masseuse came to play you kiss everyone like that. he says it's just you brought me i thought, maybe, really, i did something wrong, maybe. he should not be so offended by him somehow. maybe something to get up is better to become more good more beautiful, well, so that

he does not cheat on me. and i flew to moscow then to think. i thought about returning or not. well, apparently, this longing, which he gave me at the beginning. i wanted to go back there. you thought she would come back. i thought she would do something funny, it was better to strain myself a little, as if through myself for his sake, then he would go forward and do the same for me. and i returned, and he was afraid, apparently, to lose me, because he immediately proposed to me uh-huh and after that he said that i was his property and in arab countries, so after you accepted the offer, you got married no , but just here you accepted the offer and became his property. that is, he said the ring on his finger is evidence that i am his i am his actually, i'm still that, i say the same as i say. i'm human. i'm a person. how can you do with me what he wants, no,

it’s impossible. he says, and i say this to you, well, i have a different mentality. you must understand too. he says you accepted that i must therefore accept islam, there are parents of a harem, ten of these children or there, how many there they have three at least a standard, and i got something like this. well, that is , we have such a conflict with contra. yes, i had you for some time before the wedding, correctly, i understand that as soon as you accept the ring, we should immediately have it. this is not islam. there is such as in front of allah yes and from now on, in principle, muslims believe that you are his wife right in the mosque no, where it happens in egypt on the road. we just signed the documents and moreover. there were documents. they misspelled my name and were there at all. well yes, my data from well you are wrong

when you agreed to this ritual , traditional for islam, you read something about it, knew something about it a little bit, but what she said in the koran and what she did. he was completely aware of what you are doing, but you have not yet converted to islam at this point. yes. so good. so. you had such a traditional muslim wedding. let's say. well yes. it was very low seems not ugly. yes, because after all, when you don’t tyah, this is also a rite, this is a tradition. these are some outfits, some treats, probably and here it's just on the road quickly. well, the documents were necessary for the sake of registering the main marriage, yes, and

getting the presidency there. that is, it was so purely formally said, no, that's it, are you already divorced or there? you don't live under the same roof for 30 days. that is, you, too, already, well, not a husband. and a wife, that is. well, convention, or something, and before this ritual, you spoke with him, and your joint future, how will it look like? what does he expect from you? what are you ready for? on what is not, right so as to sit down in an adult way to talk. no, it wasn't yes, i thought it would be. here is a refusal. that is, i probably had glasses arabian night, yes, and everything turned out such a sitting at home not letting out of the apartment, even to the store. i needed to come up with a good reason. why should i leave the apartment, that is, just go for a walk. no, it's normal

, women of the country don't do that. here. i thought that after all i was russian and there was some kind of indulgence towards me and how events developed further, of ​​course we went to his parents. so it became more very aggressive there, then yes, for example, if i worked somewhere, i didn’t have a bank card, let’s say, and the whole salary is there that it’s in dubai that it’s all checks, that is, i needed to get money somehow, and he says, come on we will throw money at my card. and today you can pay with them at any time, but as you showed in marriage, when he wanted to pick up the card, he took it, that is, i was left without money, that is, all the money was transferred to him. then i began to save a little, some kind of cash, so that at least i have something there was some kind of safety cushion, purely for myself, what to buy tickets?

well, that is, you began to invest, relatively speaking, on tickets back, or at least if i go from him, to live at least for some period of time, so that i have something to think about that such an option is generally possible, that you are leaving from him. as i understand it, they usually yes, it was not scary, for some reason, to leave him. i wanted to live there, and now, of course, everything in one country is good to live, but i was afraid. uh, hmm i'll be back in moscow yes. i told everyone that i have already left. and everything is fine with me and that they won’t accept me, is it obvious that you didn’t want to return back? uh-huh. i didn't want to admit it to myself well. well, you are an adult, you could, relatively speaking, not return, but move from there to mexico. why did you, in principle, have an idea in your head? only either you stay, and in dubai yes, i don’t know, somewhere in egypt, or you return love, an adult, able to go further. well, you obviously

had it somehow slowed down and you didn’t develop brain and mind in that direction. what can you, well , you didn't like it, but divorced married mexicans didn't like the mexicans. married to runes. at the time, i didn't think so. now there are no such thoughts yet, i see, that's why i seem to be interested, because you came up with a fairy tale for yourself, obviously you plunged into this fairy tale and realized that this fairy tale does not suit you, but you stayed there long enough to live there. horror or return and there and there did not like. psychologist sergey on himself and psychologist psychotherapist tatyana krasnovskaya, today at our guests are olga and we listen to her story. from what they fled from moscow, probably some dullness of days for me, that is, for me, when he

appeared, i became. a busy life , of course, but still , let's see what happened in your life before it appeared that you wanted to escape. some kind of loneliness, i guess. what caused this loneliness? work, home, work home, well, friends, relatives, relatives. i went there , studied, for example, danced, but for some period of time you already know everything , it became boring to talk about what happened before that meeting in moscow, your mood has dropped, your energy of speech has changed, what is happening? let's look there, because i understand that you want us to help you find the reasons for this abuse. i do not know the reason in him a person, calling him a psychopath or

an abuser. now it is very fashionable and how could we, of course, we can do it, but if you want to learn how to build relationships, then you will have to rewind back to the moment where you made the decision to go into a relationship with a person. what are you out of at this moment? what if you feel like these three years have affected you? well, they probably influenced, but still, it would be more important for me now to see what could make you go into it, what made you stay there for a long time, why did i ask you, what prevented you from leaving for another country, any other country. well, just go nowhere. i don't think there is any support. there , no one is waiting to use this particular fear in their victims, let's call it that. because she has nowhere to go and because what she had before she either devalues ​​or does not consider it

worthy. and why do you need this support before meeting with him? support he can orient. support who supported you before his sister? basically the eldest eldest she is 16 years older. you consulted with her when you made the decision to leave. no, i didn't consult anyone. well , why is english still a person to you? why didn't they consult didn't discuss it? interestingly, i decided that i myself can make the decision of my life, really you can. i

didn't even ask my mom. what is your relationship with your older sister were merged too? this is just my fantasy, but i want to ask you to think about it, having. the older sister, how did you feel like a sister next to him has something in common. i have a feeling that i owe something here and there. and what were you supposed to be a sister? i must not upset, i must do something permanent, so that she feels good, so that yes

, even just doing something around the house. that is, i can’t just be, i have to do something all the time. i can't just be a sister, baby you now said very important things. i would like to stop there. i can't just be. what do you feel when you say it? you feel, you feel, because this pain just returns you to that state of yours. where did you run from? and if you run away from it, then regardless of the mexican armenian, who was not, he will use precisely your desire to avoid. and, of course, roses on the date bed under the moonlight, there i don’t know romantic meetings, the hotel. all this is just no analgesic for that pain, which was experienced. well, yes, the most important thing

today is to see it and stop. i can't just be. remember, here is a child who lives in these conditions. when did you get this feeling? as a child tell me how old you are. i just remember such events in the kindergarten, i also remember when i found out that my mother was paying something for me in the kindergarten there, yes. there is also monthly . this is the fee when the child goes to kindergarten, and i had such a feeling of guilt for this, as if. why are you even interested in this, remember how i found out? i heard from someone. i thought you just go there to eat and play, it turns out mom works three jobs to pay me to go there,

i felt so sorry, mom. you might have heard it from your sister. nestora no longer lived, you heard it from your mother or from someone, but i remember her at home. and well, one of the relatives of someone said it to you. maybe someone just said, that is, i found out, it was by accident , or maybe, my mother and her friends said that she was lying, that she needed to pay for the garden for the next month for the child. or maybe she doesn't what was it or something. mom always worked. there, she worked at two schools , hosted tutoring and mopped floors. that is today. i think the lord works so hard that i would go to kindergarten later. yes, i can't walk. just to give you more rest, baby.

such a thought, such an idea, usually forms in the child an attitude with which he then goes through life for a long, long time, and this idea is that i can’t just be, i must somehow justify my existence. it’s as if i ’m taking a slightly wrong place here, if i take it, then it’s like like it creates some kind of awkwardness for other people, and then we start to create some additional value, and we try to adapt to other people. it looks like this is what you did. also, your exit, well , let's call it marriage is very similar to an attempt to relieve the burden on these people. well, now i got married and you don’t have to worry about me anymore, you didn’t have to worry anymore. and of course, then it is very scary for them to admit

that your choice was wrong. what are you thinking right now or what? do you feel now? as they say in the eyes? unpleasant. yes, it's all my own fault. i did not say that. i seem to be watching so you don't hear. you perceive all this through a prism. again, i'm to blame. there is no guilt here. there is no fault here. to face the truth is to get the opportunity to take responsibility the only form of life in which not a psychopath, not an abuser, not a tyrant is not able to use his methods with you. this form of life is called responsibility. you see, because the victim, the tyrant or the abuser, always

there is hope for the fairy tale, the hope that he will change, and everything will be fine, the hope that now i will change a little, and he will definitely become better. he will love me more, love me differently, but this hope takes away your strength. the strength is always the hopelessness the strength is always in your decision that no matter where you are, you are able to change your life. and most importantly, because you already have enough to not live up to the expectations of not justify the investment of your mother or your sister. now you can definitely be. and it's not sentimental. guilt is what got you there. further, if you continue to look like this. now you

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a psychologist, a psychotherapist. krasnovskaya. today we have guests olga and we listen to her history so that you can now be a little more clear. tell me the same story, but some funny story. here is the story of olga, who, accordingly, met the arab prince, went and looked . she did not like it, she returned. otherwise , you can change it right now. when , let's say, we met, i moved there and at the first meeting there were situations when i didn’t like something, when i was painfully unpleasant. then at that moment i had friends, yes, and i would have gone to the girls. and suppose i would find a job, i would start

working somewhere to earn money myself. would become, independently met someone else. maybe some possibilities. why, what to say to go somewhere to fly somewhere, i suggest you not the subjunctive mood of this story and comprehend everything for me in the subjunctive, as it would be. i suggest you look at it. eh, what it was, but a little bit from a different angle. i was in my early 30s so i decided to taste it. what is for real? oriental tale, i found myself an arab prince. i went. and a passion married him in the desert on the road, and then we began to live there do not know dubai as a result. i realized that this is not mine. i turned around and left. and this story is completely different. and then this story is integrated into your consciousness. as your experience, there is no person who is to blame for everything and there is no you

who is to blame for everything. because an attempt to shift this responsibility onto him. this suggests that you are not able to bear your own responsibility. i know a dramatic story is much more interesting for girlfriends and for most psychologists. it's going to be much more interesting, but those are the 2 3 elements that we noticed now, from changing you when i asked you to talk about history to when i asked you to feel what is happening to you at this moment. and when you said that you face the truth. that's the elements of growing up. any other form of arabic pattern will only exacerbate your childish attitude. and make you. well, as if they are not capable of relationships. but sitting in front of me

an adult beautiful woman, and who, in general, has her whole life ahead of her. all that matters is just unwind and see. it's different. it can be assumed that this position is where you are not a victim, he is not an abuser. and in general, the circumstances have developed. otherwise, as you wish. she seems to make this position make you more confident and stronger, and makes you a directly strong woman. what about your relationship now? not with him at all with other men not yet. they don't exist because you don't build them, man. around do you want to eat? there were attempts. yes, but when it's all for some reason, even the slightest questions hello where are you perceived by me like that, that is, everything seemed to me, everything he

controls me, like control, of course. it seems to me that it all starts right away, i immediately cut it off. that is, either you know, or everything, or you know nothing, i'll tell you, i will reveal such a secret, when many years ago sms messages were paid. well, they are now paid, but then there were no alternative forms, and cellular companies earned the main money on text messages. hi where are you? all people control each other. the question is not who controls you, the question is, but lie down. are you called under this control or not? you can quite calmly give this control, you can take this control back and you need to. in these relations, just the same, but to observe this border that you set. yes,

it is important for you to distance yourself now to take responsibility for what you can take? well, for example, there is work, your children your creativity is your health if you want to do business conditionally. yes, but you understand, that's my responsibility for her. i will never give it to anyone when it becomes a support for you. in any relationship when you build a bridge based on another person, you are doomed to failure, because no one on the other side is going to hold anything. and so the bridge is always from oneself to oneself , just from oneself today to oneself in a year , let's say. for me, this story is still, probably, a little bit about permission, or what ? yes? first of all, it's probably worth it. allow yourself to take your place.