it’s some kind of outfit, some treats, probably, but here, just on the road , quickly documents were needed for the sake of registering the main marriage. yes, you must first do none and get residency there. that is, well, it was so purely formal, but with them i’m his wife and well, as i said three times, no, that’s it, you are already divorced or you haven’t lived there for 30 days under the same roof. that is, you already. well, it can't. she is like that. well, convention , or something, come on, and before this ritual, you spoke with him, and your joint the future, what will it look like black is waiting for you what are you ready for? on what is not, directly, so that sit down for an adult to talk. no, it wasn't. uh-huh. that is, i thought it would be . that's a fairy tale. that is, i probably had such glasses arabian night, yes, and everything

turned such a seat at home not letting out of the apartment, even to the store. i needed to come up with a good reason. why should i leave the apartment, that is, just go for a walk no, well, it's normal that's not how the women of the country do it. well, i thought that after all, i am russian and there should be some kind of indulgence towards me and how events developed further, of ​​course, we went to his parents in egypt and it became more very aggressive there. that is, let's say, if she worked somewhere, then i didn't have a bank card, let's say, and the whole salary is there that it's in dubai that it's all checks, that is, i needed to get money somehow, and he says, let 's put money on my card. and you can pay him at any time, but as the enemy showed, yes, when he wanted to pick up the card, he took away, that is, i was left without money,

that is, all the money was transferred to him. then i began to save a little, some kind of cash, so that at least i had something to have some kind of safety cushion, purely for myself, on what, to buy what? well, that is, you began to put off relatively speaking, for a ticket back, or at least if i leave it, to live at least for some period of time, so that i have something to eat, but the thought that such an option is generally possible, that you are leaving him. i understand there was no scary, for some reason, to leave him. i wanted to live there, and now, of course, everything is fast in the country to live well, but i was afraid. uh, hmm i 'll be back in moscow yes. i told everyone that i had already left. and everything is fine with me and that they won’t take me back, that it’s obvious that you didn’t want to return? uh-huh i didn't want to admit it to myself well, but you are an adult, you could, relatively speaking, not return, but move from there to mexico

why did you, in principle, have an idea in your head? only either you stay, and in dubai yes, there i don’t know somewhere in egypt either returning love is an adult, able to travel further. well, obviously it was somehow slowed down for you and your brain and mind did not develop in that direction. what can you, well , you didn't like it, but got divorced married a mexican didn't like the mexicans. married to runes. right now there are no such thoughts, i look, that's why i seem to be interested in this, because you came up with a fairy tale for yourself, obviously you plunged into this fairy tale and understood that this fairy tale does not suit you, but you stayed there long enough to live in it. horror or return and there and there did not like. psychologist sergei on himself and psychologist

psychotherapist krasnovskaya, today we have guests olga and we are listening to her story. from what they fled from moscow, probably some kind of sulfur from the days to me, that is, to me, when he appeared, i became. a busy life, of course, but still, let's see what happened in your life before it appeared that you wanted to escape. some kind of loneliness causing this loneliness to work work-home, friends, relatives, i went there, did, for example, danced, but for some period of time you already know everything, i got bored with what happened before this meeting in moscow, your mood dropped, your energy of speech changed, which some sadness happens. let's look there,

because i understand that you want us to help you find the reasons for this abuse. i do not know the reason in him a person, calling him a psychopath or an abuser. now it's very fashionable and how could we, of course, do it like that, but if you want to learn how to build a relationship, then you have to rewind back to the moment where you made the decision to go into a relationship with a person. what are you out of at this moment? because if you think that these 3 years have affected you. well, they probably influenced , but still, it would be more important for me now to see what could make you go into it, what made you stay there for a long time, why did i ask you, what prevented you from leaving for another country, any other country. i don't think there is any support. nobody is waiting there

use exactly this fear in their victims, let's call it that. because she has nowhere to go and because what they had before she either devalues ​​or does not consider it worthy. why is this support needed? let's get back. here is your story. see you soon. support with someone you go somewhere, then at least someone is there, probably, to prompt. support who supported you before his sister? mostly native, yes, the eldest is the eldest, she is 16 years older. you consulted with her when you made the decision to leave. no

, i didn't consult anyone. well, why are you still an english person? why didn't they consult didn't discuss it? i decided that i can make the decision of my life myself, you really can. i didn't even ask my mom. that your relationship with your older sister was also united? this is just my fantasy, but i want to ask you to think about it, having. maybe some other form? the older sister has something in common with your feeling with him and the way you felt next to your sister. i have a feeling that i owe something here and there. and

what were you supposed to be a sister? i should not to grieve must do something, some permanent, to make her feel good, to yes , even just doing something around the house. that is, i can’t just be, i have to do something all the time. i can't just be a younger sister, they said very important things. i would like to stop there. i can't just be. what do you feel when you say it? because this pain just returns you to that state of yours. where did you run from? and if you run away from her, then regardless of the mexican armenian, who was not, he will to use precisely your desire to avoid. and, of course, roses on the bed are a date under

the moon, there i don’t know romantic meetings. at the hotel. all this is just no analgesic for the pain that was experienced. well, yes, the most important thing today is to see it and stop running away from it. i can't just be. remember, here is a child who lives in these conditions. when did you get this feeling? as a child tell me how old you are. i just remember the events in the kindergarten , i also remember when i found out that there was some kind of mother they pay something for me in the kindergarten there, yes. there is also monthly. this is the fee when the child goes to kindergarten, and i had such a feeling of guilt because of this, as if. why

are you even interested in this from someone? i thought that i just go there to eat sleep to play, it turns out that my mother works three jobs to pay me to go there, i felt so sorry, mom. these are sisters. nestora no longer lived with us, you heard it from your mother or from someone, but i was at home, i remember. and well , one of the relatives? yes someone said it to you. maybe someone just said , that is, i found out, it was by accident, or maybe, my mother and her friends said that she was lying, that she needed to pay for the garden for the next month for the child. or maybe there was nothing or something else, mom, she always worked. there, she worked at two schools, hosted tutoring and mopped floors. that is

, today i think, lord, well, it works so much that i then went to kindergarten. i can't go there. just got more rest. i thought it, baby. such a thought, such an idea, usually forms an attitude in the child, with which he then goes through life for a long, long time and this idea that i can’t just be, i have to somehow justify my existence. it’s as if i’m taking a slightly out of place here, if i occupy it, then it seems to create some kind of awkwardness for other people, and then we begin to create some kind of additional value, and we try to adapt to other people. it looks like this is what you did. also, your exit, well

, let's call it marriage is very similar to an attempt to relieve the burden on these people. well, here i am married and no need to worry about me anymore, no need to worry anymore. and of course, then it is very scary for them to admit that your choice was wrong. what are you thinking right now or what? do you feel now? as they say in the eyes? unpleasant, right? it 's all my own fault, i didn't say that. i seem to be watching so you don't hear. you perceive all this through a prism. again, i'm to blame. there is no guilt here, there are no guilty ones. face it it's getting a chance to take charge the only thing is that a form of life in which not

a psychopath, not an abuser, not a tyrant is not able to use his methods with you. this form of life is called responsibility. you see, after all, the victim, the tyrant or the abuser, always has hope for a fairy tale, the hope that he will change, and everything will be fine, the hope that now i will change a little, and he will definitely become better. he will love me there more, better love differently, but this hope takes away your strength. strength is always hopelessness strength is always in your decision that no matter where you are, you are in able to change your life. and most importantly, you are old enough to not live up to your mom's or your sister's investment. now you can definitely

just be. and it's not sentimental. guilt is what got you there. and they will drive you further if you continue to look like that. now you have this very life of yours, with which you are free to do, taking responsibility for it. they share with someone freely does everything with her, anything. mexico happens. triggers with you we are a psychologist sergey on ourselves and a psychologist psychotherapist tatyana krasnovskaya. today we have guests olga and we are listening to her story so that you can now say a little more clearly. tell me the same story, but as if you were telling. here is the story of olga, who, accordingly, met

the arab prince, went and looked. she did not like it, she returned. otherwise, you can change it right now. when , for example, i met, i moved there and at the first meeting there were situations when i something did not like, when i was hurt unpleasantly. then at that moment i had friends, yes, and i would have gone to the girls. and let's say i would have found a job, i would have started working somewhere to earn money myself. i would, regardless. maybe i met someone else. maybe there were some possibilities. why, what to say to go somewhere to fly somewhere, i suggest that you rethink this story in the subjunctive, as it would be, without the subjunctive mood. i suggest you look at it. and what it was, but a little different

angle. i was in my early 30s so i decided to taste it. what is for real? oriental tale, i found myself an arab prince. i went and uh, passion married him in the desert on the road, and then we began to live there do not know dubai as a result. i realized that this is not mine. i turned around and left. and this story is completely different. and then this story is integrated into your consciousness. as your experience, there is no person who is to blame for everything and there is no you who is to blame for everything. because an attempt to shift this responsibility onto him. this indicates, that you are unable to bear your own responsibility. i know a dramatic story is much more interesting for girlfriends and for most psychologists. it's going to be much more interesting, but those are the 2

3 elements that we've noticed now changing you, when i asked you to talk about history, to when i asked you to feel what's happening to you at this moment. and when you said that you face the truth. that's the elements of growing up. any other form of arabic script will only exacerbate the patterns of your history. your childish attitude. and make you. well , as if they are not capable of relationships. but in front of me sits an adult beautiful woman, and who, in general, has her whole life ahead of her. all that matters is just unwind and see. it's different. it can be assumed that this position is where you are not a victim, he is not an abuser. and in general, the circumstances have developed. otherwise, as you wish. it seems

to make this position make you more confident and stronger, it makes you a straight strong woman. what about your relationship now? not with him generally not with other men yet, because you do not build them, man. do you want to eat around you? while there is no i do not want to have been attempts. yes, but when it’s all for some reason, even the slightest questions hello where are you perceived as such, that is, everything, it seemed to me, i don’t need to control everything, that is, even take care as control, of course. it seems to me that everything starts right away with this, i immediately cut it off, that is, you either know, or everything or nothing. you know, i'll tell you, i'll reveal such a secret, when many years ago there were still text messages were paid. well, now they are paid, but then there were no alternative forms, and the cellular

company earned the main money on text messages. hi where are you? all people control each other. the question is not who controls you, the question is, but lie down. are you called under this control or not? you can quite calmly give this control, you can take this control back and you need to. in these relations, just the same, but to observe this border that you set. yes, it is important for you to distance yourself now to take responsibility for what you can take. well, for example, there work your activity your creativity your health if you want to do business conditionally. yes, but you understand, that's my responsibility for her. i will never give it to anyone , then it will become a support for you. in any

relationship when you build a bridge based on another person, you are doomed to failure, because no one on the other side is going to hold anything. and so the bridge is always from yourself to yourself, just from yourself today to yourself through guess a year. for me, this story is still, probably, a little bit about permission, or what ? yes, right in the first place, you should probably allow yourself to take your place in your chair. allow myself to be later, if i work, really. decisions such a desire to build relationships, then those are there precisely in this authorship. i just eat it is very important. for myself, these few minutes of our

conversation. well, thank you for dedicating this area, which i did not think at all. i thought the reason was in something else or in me that i am not either in it, but it turns out that i was running away from myself. may i ask you at the end? oh, and what kind of relationship would you like later, when you already want a relationship, what kind of relationship do you want us to understand and, well , support each other, communication, complement each other in some way. certainly. i wanted to train to be, and then train to want. what does

the ideal man look like, in your opinion, here is your man who will be the perfect list for you. the ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and does not exist. uh, loving faithful in fairy tales yes , auto is always caring purposeful, so that he has self-realization, his favorite thing, so that yes, self-fulfilled, so that he is interesting. what will you give to the educated?

love beauty care will you be interesting? what will you do to be interesting to such a man? to get to know the world , to discover some new cultures, to find out what they are interested in, how the world lives, so many different cultures of art. this greatly expands the worldview. i just wanted to ask you, by the way, in what language did you communicate with that young man. english and a little bit of arabic, you know english, yes , i learned arabic, i can understand something, what they say, oh, well, it's time to say words, after all, it's quite difficult. yes, such a language

barrier is difficult to clarify the relationship is difficult to express a sense of emotion. yes, that is something to prove some point of view emotionally. you understand that you were hitting some kind of wall, that is, it turns out. here is this wall and emotions are coming back. here, as it were, like this. and what did you do then okay everything, it was very difficult reach out and say in russian sometimes yes it is difficult to explain to a person so that he understands what you are feeling, and when it is in english or there is english-arabic, it is a billion times harder, of course, and this is just, as if you also know, this is the main problem of almost everyone, multilingual families on the one hand. uh makes a family. uh, it's easier because people think, well, it's better to remain silent than to make a fuss. yes, because otherwise it will cause

not so important, but at the same time. this often just leads to the fact that we suppress our own emotions, which are actually directed inwards, but become aggressive and destroy us. and it’s just, how important it is, if you build relationships in the future with a mexican who will speak, respectively, in spanish, then i don’t know how to learn spanish well at first, but at the same time , you know everything, but here you are now speak, and i just have such a kind of recommendation for you, in fact, you can continue to study the arabic language and arabic culture in order to to understand all the beauty and historicity and fundamentality of these laws, and not evaluate them like that fool who, uh, misunderstood them and completely wrong for you, but it will definitely make you very interesting. super thanks, thank you. and

can i ask the last question, so i really count on an honest answer. how are you? you think, you feel like you are, it is possible to love. i think i'm so nasty, i don't have a simple character. and what are you, but it seems to me that there is such a person who can. what are you leaving with? what do you will you do? do you have any plan, how will you? to deal with this something has become clearer, probably worth it. love yourself the way you are. first of all thank you thank you very much. thank you for such an honest

conversation. it was a podcast triggers. we were with you sergey on ourselves at tatyana krasnovskaya psychology and today we analyzed the story of olga and her problems. as you know, we understand everything in sports and medicine, and in politics everyone understands this. there is another area that everyone uses, but no one understands, what is it about. this is the very area in which i am in love and which has now become my second life, my second destiny for the rest of my life. this is aviation. our whole destiny is there and we all strive to make something better, something more beautiful and something higher. let's

try. meet me in the cockpit today will be such a familiarization introductory flight, i will show you the landing of the plane, in some amazingly strange weather conditions at different airports at night during the day in the fog, from this we will start a conversation about what is with us there is that delightful moment when we rise into the air. sheremetyevo tower 65 135 permission to launch tayanka, 52, 135, sheremetyevo tower good afternoon , i allow launching to parking lot 5, dear citizens of passengers. welcome aboard flight 1234 training flight we are pleasantly surprised that you have agreed to participate with us. on this training

flight. have a nice trip, forever ready to help you enjoy the flight on our plane sheremetyevo tower 62 135 executive six central ready. you need to take off these two handles of the engine control handle, firstly, put the flaps in the first position in order to make it more convenient and easier to take off there, then we carefully add engine speed. the car started off it should be noted that now we are

flying in ideal conditions in a professional language. it's called forging visibility, a million by a million. the weather is beautiful. there is no wind, no turbulence . we quite calmly enjoy the fact that we are with you in the air, like birds, we release flaps, 5 °. started to work. 30 135 landing 5 m / s

and here we are with you on the spot. now we will try to show landing. let's say if it's raining, thunderstorm and wind we'll set the conditions. but not to be. the pilot pilot is obliged to follow this cross and this square must be exactly in the cross, then everything will be fine, so that this does not happen easily. but nonetheless.

well, a little more difficult, but still. it's possible, now let's try to land the plane. when visibility is poor say fog i practically won't see anything. difficult. it is necessary to study only my reference point. this is the device that is in front of me. i need to keep this little black square right here in the center of the cross. if i do this, everything will be fine.

flaps spoilers flaps 35 landing 06 central 135 m/s and let's show, now one of the most difficult landings is one of the most difficult landing strips located in the mountains for landing at the airport of bhutan, which i am now talking about. you need to get a special license from people who have received such a license in the world only about 20 people all. so here it is, uh, the slope and the saddle of the slope.

going down landings i hope in speed. fighter tankers testers great cause people living in the sky we continue

our conversation about aviation. today we will touch on the topic of surprising little, to whom we know we will talk about psychology. our guest is julia valentina slavinskaya valentina hello hello how can i introduce you? who am i talking to today? medical psychologist central medical flight expert commission candidate associate professor of psychology you are related to aviation, for example, people who are trying to enter aviation, people who have entered some aviation educational institution or people who , for example, are leaving military aviation and moving to civilian aviation, you touch this category of people. yes that's right. here are all three categories of aviation personnel that you listed that are being assessed.