he drank. uh, quite a lot, as he explained to me, that he was free, he really wanted love, that his marriage collapsed due to the fact that his wife offended him very much, and he is such a family man, he wants love , he wants children and that's it. he has the rest. there is a child hmm from the first marriage. that is, he told you that he was divorced. yes, he said that they had a wife, and it was not true. well, at that moment. i thought it was, yes, he described his life and situation in such a way that he aspires. uh uh there k success in the family to love, that he dreamed about it for a long time and he had such an unsuccessful marriage. and when we met with him , he said that he was free, that he had no relationship with his wife for a long time, that she was a very walking woman. she endlessly betrayed him, deceived him at night, went for a walk, and he, poor unfortunate man, raised a child there, and now. it so happened that now

the spouse is already living with another person, that she has a relationship, when you never said that you should run right away about those men who start to pour on you, especially in the early days dirt on their ex-wives. well, you know, i want to tell you so much that a woman can be deceived only when she herself wants to be deceived, upstairs. yes, i tell everyone, yes, run right away at this very moment. i don't know what chorus thinks about this from the point of view of high psychology. i 'm telling you from life experience, the course thinks it's worth checking. and until you've checked , you shouldn't believe it, yeah, that's all. so you are this gamer, drinker, whom you offended. according to him , the ex-wife warms up and takes away from with me to moscow well, i don’t even take him, but he is very successful. yes to the value on coming to me. let's still talk about terminology or he goes himself. that's when a man goes he knows where he's going. how will he be? well, yes, to provide for oneself and

all that, when a woman takes him, she takes him under her wing, and in her apartment at her own expense. here's how you had it under your wing. i'm on the initiative of the rules he is very persistent. well, at that moment, i probably also wanted unearthly love there, about which my ex-husband spoke very beautifully. that's how old you were then. i was 26 yes to him, and he was 32 yeah. that's why, that is, the clock is ticking yes, the heart. well, to be honest, no, i really don't really care how it was the main reason why this happened. what's just a short backstory in love? yes, this, and before him , i was quite interesting, life is such a hectic life. i have had business there several times. i built it and lost it. i had a lot of friends. familiar these friends, well

a little above the level, they are a little much above the level, my ex-husband and what an interesting life. uh, surrounded, there are the stars of politicians. eh, i don’t know, there are successful people at some point, i can’t say that i’m tired of it, but it also has its drawbacks, so let’s say the problem is that all my environment, which at that time happened like that. e, where i lived with my mother in ramenskoye , because just at that stage i lost a little, as if i closed my business and i had some kind of transshipment point. pause in my life, that's it, that environment which was there they are all also from ukraine, as it were, and they are a little, well, not a little, but they fully correspond to his level. and here is the pressure from these people who said there, look, what a man. that's why you need all these adventures there why do you need these men there on a different

level, that is, they were not his friends, they were not our friends, but they immediately began to promote him, so to speak, as a permanent partner and husband. yes, i have long been pressed and dripped with the fact that you need to be ordinary a man who is a family man, who is there, can start with you from scratch, well, i didn’t mind starting with him from scratch, because i’m not a stupid person either. i saw what i was going for another moment, that i believed in his feelings and believed in his lineage. here he seemed to me, and the gods, you see, here i am when i looked at him. he said such things. this is correct. yes, the problem is, here is his relationship to life, let's say to the family to fidelity and for me it was very important. that's important, right? ah, you can verify people by two directions to verify means to check what they are yes, the first, because

they say, and the second, because they do, of course, and what did he do? and he did out, that he obviously came to your house and lived at your expense. yes, this is what he did. but how is he in general, that is, well, he didn’t go to work and says that, yes, yes. they didn't pay here. here i was thrown, or i was something else, then everything developed very rapidly. that is, we had a very short period before he moved e to me here, because i left immediately after 2 weeks and these two weeks, he came to our house to my grandmother there at my grandmother's house. i was also born in ukraine in the same city. i came to my grandmother, to visit, and he came to my grandmother. he tried, as if he were helping our family there , he was buying some pills here, then food. he is a hunter, he brought a duck there, uh, from hunting. why is it called? god

tell me, yes, there is such a moment that then for some reason already 6 years later, i was asked such a question, and what then is god, but i’m a little i'm leaving after only 4 years. his mother called me when he had already betrayed me. uh, he cheated and i found out that he was living a double life. completely with another girl there already in our apartment in my apartment. where were you when he lived this time ? it came to me and this problem came. it just got faster. and when he came here, and he acted very competently, knowing that we are of completely different levels, not only there finance. well, intellectually there. e. i erudite him; i have more interests in talents and, as it were, at first it annoyed him.

and secondly, as i already understand now, that he was simply afraid if he would let me out among the people, yes, in the circle of my friends of acquaintances there, who appreciate this, and they are the same as me with all the interests, uh, he just crushed me, as if, that is, he began to slowly, quietly deprive me of these interests of my talents there. eh, there are hobbies. and how does it happen? well he said, well, what are you all nonsense are you doing? you well, look at these hobbies of yours, but it's just a kindergarten. don't go there, yes, well, don't even go there, of course, about communicating with other people. eh, well, understandable. he is at home. i work hard. it is not right. if you go out there somewhere. i say come with me. i'm tired. here you will be a bad wife. if you go somewhere without me, he was still working at that moment, he was working. now, after, and after 4 years, how we didn’t finish it. yes , 4 years later. the way we lived and i found out

about another girl, his mother called, who loved and respected me so madly, and was for our relationship. she called me and accused me of what happened. i took him away from the first family. i say, wait, i say to me now this is news after 4 years that he, it turns out, was a family. she says, yes, they had a full-fledged family, they lived and loved each other. well, how is everything with problems? here you will make some kind of child there. now, from what you said yourself, what you need to give. yes, that is, i i understand correctly that it was not some kind, there was one episode, but he was generally in stable a and systematically lived a double life. he had other relationships parallel to yours. you know, that's why everyone stayed there , because he so, uh, how skillfully played this role of such semin that he seemed to be completely owned by me, and in

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package at a bargain price. my name is natalya loseva, a journalist, my co-host clinical psychologist mikhail khors and our heroine svetlana , whose loneliness we are fighting today, you slipped several times that he once took your apartment and your business. he was in in the literal sense, alphonson, or nevertheless he earned, but not enough, or he spent your money on someone. and i can't say that he is alphonse alphonse, probably, a person who really does not work. no, he worked, and he worked a lot. he worked. there from 5:00 am to 12:00 pm. there he said, well, i think that he brought money, but i didn’t see his money, you never had a general budget. watch how you say svetlana, he worked from 5:00 in the morning until 5:00 at night there bubu, then you say, and it turns out that his second life was a woman, there are telephones and so on. he told you that

he works with conviction. completely now, yes, that is, you told us 3 minutes ago that you discovered that he had other women all the way, had a second life, another phone, and immediately tell us with absolute conviction that he worked until 5:00 in the morning. at what time did he , uh, do this, yes, he mastered other women and other things. well, when he lied to you that he was already working. after a while, of course, there were moments when you believed him, you thought it was really gratifying, the way he worked surrounded by my family friends, er , who probably couldn't. yes, lie there too, well, i don’t know massively, i don’t know, listen, how many have abandoned you, then relatives and friends think, nothing, i’ll fit in here. well , somewhere he took time off from work left. well , you never know what business he has. and now i’ll go with the wind, i’ll tell you, their marriage will fall apart, and we have devoted so much effort so that they are finally there, so that the light and from there to here on earth

near the earth. yes, you know, they are smaller, but people. but he didn't bring you money. you say that you have not seen the money, you understand, but he told you before, right? that's it, that's all for me, he lives, that he will be all this the question was asked, where is the money, we swore a lot. you fought because of it. so he told you well there is no money. you talk, you listen to this work from morning to night. why don't you get paid? no why they pay, but i see the money. and where did you constantly have some kind of need, yes, spend it, but it’s not for me, but at the same time, for example, well, for their interests, for example, we have been there for four years. you understand in the end after all this whole story. it turned out that he bought the land , oh, which i didn’t know, you know, a good interesting car from the salon suddenly, out of nowhere money appeared from him,

therefore, he saved them up, can you somehow take care of it? well i do not know. in bed you had a quality he. uh, yeah, the sex we had was great in that regard, but then again, great. he was thanks to me, because at the time we met and it is possible that sex was the reason that he so seized on me, and, as it were , over the course of these many years, when we were already there, and cursing, it was hard for him, as it were. sex was not a reason, sex was a cherry, the reason was that you lived in moscow and the apartment, yes, but he himself said, well, with a mother with an apartment , he strives for success. uh-huh and at the same time, he can eat, apparently, use common places there, use, and so on, but not give you money for this, but put the money in a box there or spend it on someone. so it turns out. yes, the way from above is the way to the success of a man, and here are your

so-called friends, uh, in the circle that your spouse was brought out. initially, they were always on his side or someone there says, listen to something, everything is fine with you, in general, you know, it seems to me that this is what the picture began to be decided. it's great for them too. firstly, i made a picture, and secondly, it became decisive just the same , we say that a person is holistic. yes, you don’t need to look for a soul mate before him, i also lived even when i lived with him. um, it's like i'm philosophizing there. everything is beautiful, i say. i say everything right, but integrity everything else and i live there in much the same way after him, but for some reason the influence of not even him but my environment was very strong on me. since these people are there with me there are the very diapers, and we were friends with the nursery. yes, and they grew up as if i grew up in their environment there for 30 years. do we know each other. and what is their influence? hmm

three questions? what was his influence on them? come on, there's a story with those pills for grandma. here it is clearly, probably repeated in each of your friends. this word needs to be changed, but the word they all they say that this is the best friend sympathetic. damn yes, he is the most perfect man. here they look. kinet, yes, they themselves are now aware of it, but they know there are such people when she asked the question. why did they decide to stay with him, especially in such a difficult situation, when he took this apartment from me, and he took it completely illegally. also in the case , the documents also turned out to be altered by him. this is a contract of sale. and let's go back, so here's the betrayal itself and what happened, then they could evaluate the order. yes so we can gauge, uh, the reaction of your

friends. well, or doubt, for example, your picture of the world, what happened? what was the betrayal? well, let's start with the fact that we've been here throughout our lives. i am the first thing that he very strongly suppressed me by the fact that he, i said, he did not let me out, anywhere at all. that is, all my talents, all my interests. he skillfully extinguished, as if i were there, for example, here's an example. yes, i'm good at drawing. eh, he draws very well, that is, people there offered me to participate in an exhibition there. he you are not allowed no. he allowed, but you know, so i, for example, will draw a picture that people want to buy, even i put it on the balcony, i think, well, now he will come home from work, he will praise me when he sees it. well, i went in and saw a smoke, and in general, i didn’t say a word, and the man didn’t say a word. well, as if i, as a woman, immediately think, i am not worthy. i drew badly. i'm there and that's the same in karaoke. for example, i sing beautifully, we come to karaoke, the presenters come to us. he says, but

no one sings with us. for example, yes, and you you feel no, it means that i sing badly, that means i don’t do it that way. well, then it can openly say, listen to how the girl sings beautifully there is some other one. he conquered you on the first, so he pulled it all up, and then yes, like a spider, it means he entangled the cobwebs of this clatter fly and let's dip you into cruel reality, and friends did not see this, and friends, he apparently was such a loving husband such a caring attentive, admiring his little level. yes, such, it seems not very far yes and they, this picture was more important to them than the essence of their common interest, you know what happened, they had very interests. they are just like him, so we spent all the holidays in the kitchen. everything, that's for all our years lived there, maximum. we were celebrating, there are all birthdays, all holidays. naturally. i am human. for example, i like to go to the theatre.

going to the cinema, flying abroad there going to a restaurant, can you imagine, it got to the point that he constantly says, there is no money, i say, i have it, let's go. just saying 500 rub. we’ll spend the unfortunate ones, we’ll have pizza there, we’ll eat, we’ll drink coffee near the house. no, there is no time, no money. here you are bad. you don't understand. this is, uh, the main psychological trauma, which is now just starting to recover a little, but does not let me go. e our divorce. and our scandals all happened due to the fact that, besides, besides, we have booze, there is nothing in the kitchen, nothing in life, and at some point i freaked out and began to travel myself. there i flew to rome there to france another somewhere else. yes, but he is that's it, i was nothing. so i flew away, you and so he is at this time for now. for example, i'm in france, yes, at the same time, i say, here's the money, i bought you a ticket. fly with me, i

'll pay for everything. i paid for the hotel, i paid for it on valentine's day in germany. i have such a holiday there, and you understand, he comes and does everything, perhaps, so as not to satisfy. this is mine, so that i can sit at home, so that here i am in the kitchen with him tinkering somewhere. wait let's stop michael why did he do that? the answer is very simple psychopath. well, that is, what gave him pleasure, what power? and just power, of course, he is. well, how is it a task, to use it to survive, throw it away, then look out of the corner of your eye. if suddenly there is something there to use again, so for a long time they didn’t leave it, didn’t leave it, because i’m still traveling. yes, he, he means with these friends in front of us, what is she like? yes, she left me. he tells it in a completely different way. i'm even already in the car in the dash cam when he comes telling people. she hits me. she me there. wait. did you find out? it's from the dvr and the dvr recording.

no, i just tried. and friends we have one conflict happened in the car. eh, when is he there? well, he insulted me with foul language there . yes, there it is, and i even gave you yes, and i'm still friends when they say, why are you hitting sveta? why are you insulting him? you sent him. you called him there, so you are so slender, fragile, which means a girl with a figure of a ballerina. did you kill him well? yes, and you show in the form of this entry video recorder. they don't believe? i say, that's not the way he says, listen, no. but no, well, they believe, as it were, but still, for some reason, the conclusion remains. they have good mistakes. maybe only a spiritual strong man. you know about friends. here, let's talk about such an experiment psychological. and this is me in my group. i do this sometimes. here i put a few people in a circle. plump, and then i ask one person to stand with their feet on a chair. uh-huh rise up. and they ask people around you, how do you

feel right now? uh huh and what do you want to do, then, the first battery to pull it down, yes, then they stop, as it were, well, they feel discomfort uh-huh the second most popular answer is to move back as far as possible so that it doesn’t hang so well, and the last one is the third most popular, 5% responses. this is what help to rise to become next to him. this is impossible. it's better to look for people who will also want to stand on a high chair again. the second is better to surround yourself with people who are already on the chair next to you and as it turns out those people are happy they say, come on, here's a ticket to germany, here's something for you, that's all for you, right? yeah, if you try to live next to such people, at least there will be more happiness in life, but still the problem is that i

understood it all once again appeared in your life, and he appeared as a maniac because she saw him. she was fascinated by them. she dragged him. that's the main thing, of course. and another thing is that my ex-husband came to these friends, and for some reason told them that a sveta considers you rogue. she considers you unworthy of yourself and no matter how many times i tried to explain that guys. i'm always kind of helping, on the contrary, i'm striving there , i 'm calling you somewhere. they did not go, the second you, strive, you were devalued the third time you again. and you continue to pull them off , it's already better to live alone. you were technically a man's wife with friends. e, with

such a husband, who, for the environment , represented, in general, an almost ideal match. you might be proud. you were never happy with him, what's unhappy in the loneliness that you are now living e you know, it seems to me that yes, pain and resentment, and it seems to me that the problem is at the moment. that's when i got rid of this environment, which yes, i constantly got rid of these inquisitors. but no , they got rid of me, because death is an insult. and yes , very much resentment, very great pain from this betrayal. yes and yes. and when, uh, it's all gone, the husband left. the apartment is gone. everything, tell a moment. remember, the awareness that everyone has gone flat is gone. maybe your friends are gone. well, first of all, it dragged on for a long time, because when that's the first time i found out about his betrayal. e. here i accidentally found

a note at home to another girl there. here it is written. yes, congratulations. be happy little bear. so, as if he began to tell me again, there weren’t even any suspicions. yes, well, in general, i believed to such an extent, in any case, in his loyalty and, again, the environment. here he is the only man of the light who will never betray you , so everyone changes. but he will never change. he just does it, but it is not capable, christ, he loves you so much. he he understands you, he goes to everyone and look at me, he came he sat crying with us and here is my last time we had a fight before his already obvious betrayal, but because once again we decided to try again and i say, well, we flew let's rest. here the new year has flown , the only holiday for all there for 5 years , we will normally celebrate, as it were, and again there is no money. i say, i give the money flew, he did everything possible so that we did not fly away and

when after the new year i found out. about this girl who hurt me the most, probably serious psychological trauma. it turned out that in one month he spent more money on this woman than they even planned to fly away, for example, yes on this vacation, that is, he told me that there was no way to fly away. here, and i spent 15 to 20,000 a day on it and all those things, all those places, all those lists that i wrote to him. i want to go there to this museum in this theater. there, in this restaurant, that's all he needs to go. there for 5 years she showed and told in moscow he absolutely took her to all these places. that is she is some kind of girl from the province. it is clear that she is completely different there and he arrived in my car. that is , he told her that he says he bought an apartment from him, although he bought it. i like he showed up. naturally, he came with an expensive purse, which i gave as a gift, it is clear that the girl was so fascinated there. he was there on the first

day without even seeing her. they talked on the phone. he was already there and gave her a huge bouquet of roses. although we started our relationship. i just begged them for these flowers like that, because on march 8 without flowers there i i say, well, you're coming home from work, you can not spend money while you have to teach him. yes? here it is. so no, they even taught me, and the most interesting thing i tried to explain to him is that this is a cat, you understand? here if we fly, this is for the two of us. this is not what you do for me, what you should i say, you will also lie on the beach there to get high, yes, when you flew there you were charged with emotions. you've seen the world, you've seen a different life there, everything you come to has more uh-huh disappointment. this is a consequence of what expectations charm. yes, disappointment comes after charm. and the charm. this is from the word spell. now you know, they loaded you there. and the question is, what now? when

to live further? i understand what her resentment is, this resentment is much stronger than if we are just there and only physically changed. she put so much into him, and he's just the scoundrel he took. this is not material. why, this spiritual spirituality took her to another girl. it's all invested. here is a betrayal of the capital letter. and what friends for sure. they understood it anyway, you told them you didn’t appreciate it, you don’t need such friends. you are not alone. unfortunately, because you continue to be in dialogue. you understand with these friends and with him, and until you kick them out with a filthy broom in your life. you will not come to that saving loneliness that you now need as a gateway. this is even a girl. yes, i would understand, if he really fell in love there , they started a relationship there. well, he also used it, that is, he used it when i found out

about him and about her now. the main thing about yourself try. that's what i don't want more about him. i want about myself. yes, you are part of uh, this time you lost. unfortunately, but you have acquired something and acquired tremendous experience. you have purchased this vaccine. yes, from such people there are enough of them, well, a little bit a lot, but they are, they go. here in life they are looking for all the victims stick, that they can take away, go further, and once you succumbed to this, then you are at risk. you can repeat it to him. this is not the first time. i had a situation where i also have two mercedes before that, the man took away, well , it was there voluntarily. and here in this way once again svetlana yes, the first and important do not believe you completely. check, and here's what you check, you can't leave it under a question mark. this does not mean not to enter into a relationship more , but check there was such a stage when

you say, when you realized that you were betrayed. they are no longer the people who should be in life, and when when i realized this, and these people disappeared from my life, including my ex-spouse, and i really became much easier. i started living in the first place, uh, since he took the apartment and took everything. i was deeply in debt because i had to live somewhere. i was still there, uh, i took a loan there and bought another apartment there. yes, i took out a mortgage. i needed to start somewhere. i needed to build a business. so, i opened a production for this production, i also needed money. well, now the business, thank god, is developing, but for now, investments are still needed. and i was so high, because that's the time i realized that i can devote it to myself really. i went there, read it , went to the hall. i don't know how to draw. this was the beginning, that is, all that was interesting to me was some kind of good stage, but then it got rid of the bad, but the good was not added.

and yes it is. yeah, but there is no good or good, there is only what you want and in another way it is important to understand that life is undulating. well, it got worse. better. now you may again have a little swing back into these experiences, into this pain , into this resentment, sometimes it’s not good, it’s not bad. you are a living person. you may have some again, yes, the main thing is not the point at which you are the main trend the general you know is completely calm about this, because i have been living this way all my life. i lose find. here from the bottom up from the top down. i am not to that extent. allow yourself to do this emotionally as well. i'm currently suing this apartment. yes, i really want to give you. we are proud to sue, but the fact is that now these courts are also putting pressure on me psychologically, because he

wins them. yes but he wins them on based on forged documents. and this is injustice. e, despite the fact that, uh, well, here again, justice is just a judge, but he doesn’t know the crime, yes, that documents are for devan. why is it your job to show it there? eh, you know it's useless, because at the first trial. i came alone. and again, for some reason, it so happened that he spoke so emotionally that i beat him, that i gave him 60,000 straight to understand that the concept of svetlana is an enemy. your attempts to be honest open there don't work. you will always be when you will honest and seek justice to be losing next to him, so your task is to prepare for interaction with the enemy today. you see, all these events that were from the past that

happen to the courts are very stressful events. with so many good things going on right now. i just don't have anyone to share it with. well, due to the fact that those people left, no new ones were added. and i don't even have anyone to call there to tell about something good that comes from my success in business there. i can not now. me why about this is it necessary to tell? why do you need to have someone say? wow, what a smart girl you are, and well done, well, a person needs a person. it's not just waiting. no, i agree. wait, well, just not there, not there, they look, you understand, i had such a life before my husband that i did not have time to take pipes there, that is, so many people. stop you had it. yes, it doesn't matter, wait. it means you can do it, really. i want to share the joy of life of some positive moments. but they will somehow

come new people will talk about what the hell, what a great you are. here come on and then for some reason they just disappear. give yourself time to build the new relationships of your life. shawls including you yourself well, stupidly it happens, but nothing terrible and for any devastation you can fly like a fenist clear falcon, but yes, it's important, first of all, stop scolding yourself for it. uh-huh second, directly send them all. as natalya quite rightly said, yes , clean it out of your head with a broom. these are all the people, thirdly, to give to other people. yes, well, somehow cling to yourself or itself for them to be hooked to arrange relations. and for this, time is time friends. this is a podcast of the psyche, where i am a journalist natalya loseva and a clinical psychologist of non-psychological sciences mikhail khors analyzed the rather painful story of our wonderful heroine,

svetlana, and we with great hope. we look into the future of svetlana, we hope that everything will not work out. christ is risen today we are gathering our thoughts and feelings on the occasion of the great christian holiday of easter christ is risen, we are gathering our thoughts with feelings and emotions. and boris nikolaevich lyubimov is a theater vet culturologist philosopher with your permission father of paul the giants. i'm vladimir legoyda, let's talk about joy. although i don’t know, here, is it necessary to say on easter, only christ

is risen. i wanted to start with what is usually called the personal dimension. yes, but, if we talk about this most personal dimension, here is easter for you - this is what borisovich well, this is divine fun, divine yes class, but divine fun. it doesn't say that it's pasta. well, you could tell her that, right? yes, because well of all that is in life. what could be called divine fun is the most divine and the most fun. this, of course, is a pass. you feel it is special, you know, when there is an early pascha well, as comparative as this year, when the annunciation is very close well, the entrance of the lord is forever, there in a week, uh, and here , on one side, it’s like the whole earthly life of christ from the annunciation. here is the good news, and it flies by in a short period of time. this is all up to the entrance of the lord to

the absolute triumph. uh, the savior of his earthly life, and the highest country and the week where everything, uh, just go to hell. eh, a catastrophe, if the apostles do not believe that this is something that can change everything in this life, they have lost everything and such a rise and combination of earthly and divine life of eternal salvation. well, of course, this is it. uh, you don't know father sergei bulgakov's sermon, they call the annunciation entrance a lunatic. and, uh, easter, for me, it’s so to say, the concentration of life is the father, and for you, oh , you know, for me, holy saturday just begins, when they went in procession around the temple and the temple, they kicked out such a principled the goal is to drive everyone out of the church, put out all the lamps and all the candles, so that the inside of the temple resembles a dark coffin.