the lips grew darker, then turned white, the face became purplish red, and then turned white. i wanted to feed her in the house there was nothing to eat. i rushed to the store bought something, if she refused, we were both silent, right? well, of course, when everything is perceived, of course, just to some extent multiplied by a million. yes, the fact that they stopped printing her, it was death for her, which is a noose, which yes, and they had an amazing relationship with ranevskaya. so they, uh, adored pushkin, but if anna andreevna bowed, then i just turned to pushkin yes, i slept with him , i read, i was jealous. yes, that's it, it's very funny that one day she called andreevna in moscow to faina georgiev why early in the morning? and vladimir picked up the phone, they don’t hear the voice of akhmatova fufa, i dreamed of pushkin tonight a three-second pause from the wind of the neva meal. that's

what love was. yes, well, you see, right now what i’m talking to you about, someone will call me today from leningrad or yekaterinburg or from anywhere and tell me today i’ll dream of pushkin, i’ll say food, you know? well, you tell someone the same blood, you know? you are the same crazy devotion, so you can't judge artists , you can't judge. no, in general, people have something to live with. well guys, live each one of your life. that's how you draw from there, you understand? it's not crazy. here, as it were, this is your power source - this is your battery, the poet tears his soul, heart, he does not have materials at hand, due to which he can create a work this year. i only have one battery. i am happy that this is happening now this year is 150 years sergey vasilievich rachmaninov and i made a huge program with the orchestra. the relationship of rachmaninov

and now we will play we have already played, samara togliatti moscow and all the cities of the shell even in ivanovka we will talk, in general for me. you step. what can be played in ivanovka, where does it come from, where does all this music come from, but always be secondary, because you need to help. it is necessary to solve problems and family and children and grandchildren. well, how can i say, we are all trying to participate in this, but for me, too. hmm , nature, and my happiness, my nature regeneration is the scene. these are great people with whom you can talk, from whom you can receive such a dose of thought energy . the desire to live on is sometimes a desire. to live in spite of e does not happen when everything is gone. the genius leaves energy messages. you listen to music with rakhmanin and something happens to you. probably you either hear tchaikovsky

or read akhmatova's poetry and something incredible happens to you. you read tsvetaeva's poems and sometimes you also want to. and you understand, it’s scary to lock yourself up from everyone somewhere. i recently read a very interesting book, and her son. just a huge book about him came out very interesting and very understandable. many things have become, in general, the way to the noose of marina ivanovna herself, it is impossible to judge people by but you understand some impressions. when i was in my first year a very long time ago, they gave me to read, and maria ivanovna where her son appeared. i saw his photo. i'm like this, maybe, tell me, i hated him. i just hated him. i realized that this person is the source of marina ivanovna's death. well, today psychologists would be all, eh you explained why and how from birth, but you know, psychologists can explain what

a-a understand more and their uh. well, children are children, yes, you understand, uh, just like san andreevna it’s impossible for you to sit at the table , eat, drink, make love and live your wonderful life, but be inspired by this love. and your son was sleeping roughly on the threshold, you know, and then demand from him, uh, old age. uh, well, some kind of almost no love acceptance acceptance. can not be so. i would like you to read that something is a favorite, akhmat because you are doing it coldly. just i can just doin' fantastic. i can't let you go without this short poem, which is also amazing . and when i read it, i never said that it was akhmata but it was akhmatova but you and i weren’t loved, only then

we shared the white light with you, the belfry of your way, and the power of the soul to me, don’t pity me. convict do you know what unexpected poems and amazing? i'm finishing my program with akhmatova, she had a very different attitude towards women. e, loved women exalted them, but was very strict. and could beat like dante create or laura glorify the fire of love i taught women to speak, but god, how to silence them, yes, absolutely amazing even a poem, because, of course, there is a hit. eh, as if we are talking about

the ahmats with which the young ladies always enter theatrical universities well, the sting of the hand is on the dark veil. yes, yes, i am like that too. yes, yes, yes, forget it, yes, yes, glory to you, hopeless pain, yes, yes. king, and i read an excerpt from a poem near the blue the sea, anyway. it's wonderful that the girls take it according to god's words, they read it. you know, i have it, when i have a program called 13 questions of shaggy hair and i am very glad that a lot of young people come. there is some kind of their desire for hunger, but this is understandable to me. and how can one live without it, how can one live without it at all, today in general, it seems to me that the word poetry is theater. that ’s what is so scarce now, cinema has become exhibitions now and in this sense there is some kind of direct pilgrimage of people, russian culture is what it is and the russian language, which gave us alexander sergeevich pushkin is something so incredible that it

starts on its own, it starts working when some kind of trouble occurs. and you understand these root genetic things - the word of music - songs of poetry. their books, they begin so, as if you have the effect of the leaning tower of pisa op and now you have the effect of tolstoy op on akhmatova op on pushkin op on bulgakov and they are just piles like you can shoot yourself in the feet today to abandon russian culture. i can't imagine how i want to tell you what is this idea at all, that there, uh hmm, the world community wants to cancel russian culture, they cancel it. they rob themselves. in this sense, we will use and used. you know how interesting. you know, you know that the frg e was not a subject of literature at school, but in the gdr it was about the soul. how to develop? well, by

what means, if you don’t read, if your child doesn’t read. yes, you will happen, so they did not know the geth and there is no hygiene. and this is not necessary. it was a boy who told me that i asked him. do you know who dante is? dante oh, i heard dante yes oh, this is a short nickname for dantessa. haha, can you imagine, yes, yes, i heard them somewhere, yes, thank god that we grew up, the way we were brought up, that for us everything we talk about is so close and so dear. i restrain myself you came. yes, you came. i , too, sometimes also want to check, tell me please, well, here's my personal request, or you can read it, but hmm how did khamdamov ask you to fresh us with her, and you are my friends.

to make you cry to me life is saved over your memory is not to be ashamed of weeping and sweet, but to shout to the whole world all yours. yes, what exactly is slammed there? leningraders are marching in orderly rows. living with the dead for god there is no dead, yul thank you very much. you're my darling. i love you so much. you are such a talented person. just a holiday to talk to you, my dear holiday. it was a podcast of letters, and my guest is julia rutberg, people's artist.

hello, this is under kostrigera and with you its leading psychologist, psychotherapist tatyana krasnovskaya and a psychologist. psychotherapy of oneself and in alyona is our guest today, hello. hello arina, what did you come to us with? tell me, my child has a restrictive selective eating disorder, and he is 4 years old and i think that this is directly related to me with my overprotectiveness and my anxiety, because i am a very anxious mom, can i even ask what selective eating disorder is ? i ’m sitting here now and i understand that i don’t understand a damn thing, the child eats a limited amount of food. up to twenty. and don't try. nothing new, in general

you try to offer him to eat something else there, but he doesn’t even take it in his hand very rarely he can take it, sniff it, but categorically does not try it, as they do. there other children are also such garbage. and how did this idea come about, so the name of such a diagnosis. yes , the restrictiveness of the electoral disorder of money. the fact is that the last person to whom we turned was hmm was a child psychologist, and who dealt with precisely these issues, and which so far has not given us anything either helped. that is, she said that this is what is called like this, she suggested that i read a book that was called like this when i started reading it. well, that is, it was not in vain that a person suggested it to me, probably. yes, i just came across the term. got it. here you are, when you got acquainted with this term, it became easier for you inside. i was just wondering about this problem. ah. here are these 20 foods that your child eats,

as if a child, like, lives like a normal one. yes? well yeah, what's the problem? well, he doesn't eat. he twenty-first product or what do you understand? uh, there are some difficulties because i work and i have to pick up the child from the kindergarten not at 6 o'clock. like everyone else somewhere, yes, a in 3. that is, i am because of this, because he eats, because he does not eat, he has e classes. that is, i will take him to football, because if he hasn’t eaten, because i understand that he will spend energy there and god forbid he becomes. bad and why should he become ill, but he did not eat. and what happens badly to communicate once when we addressed one of them now has the fashionable name neuropsychologist, and she suggested that we not feed him. well, that is to offer something else. here, add something else. and if he refuses, let him go to bed hungry with the guy, we tried that, and on the same night the child became very ill. he began to vomit at night, and i was so scared with my husband. the next day we wrote to the neuropsychologist

, and she said, we leave everything as it is, do not touch it, that is, after that i realized that i definitely shouldn’t set up such experiments will. and tell me, it was always like this when he was born. hmm, firstly, that we immediately noticed what we immediately noticed, and so that i don’t eat. even then i was breastfeeding ivan, everything was pouring, that is, he had dermatitis. i'm even just on one in the river si. he still had dermatitis, and then he got older for about a year. we decided to take all the tests and we were told that he had an intolerance. uh cow. squirrel. there's something else there. in general, we had to limit his nutrition for six months, that is, complementary foods were introduced, but in limited quantity. yeah, but he also ate soups. that is, he ate borscht. i wanted to try everything. he tried, he's straight. well, that is what we are let's what we were allowed. he tried it all. he ate. yes, he didn’t really eat fruit, he didn’t eat a banana there, but at the same time he ate apples and pears. now he doesn't eat it. at what point everything changed everything changed

about a year and a half ago. it was autumn hmm my mother she at that moment, wishing to be with us she left with my nephew to take him to the other side and we were left alone and it so happened that i got very sick and i remember that we had already asked to go to the store to buy greens, because i cooked soup for the child. and threw the greens at the last moment. e into the broth, that is, it was not boiled and i had a feeling that he seemed to be choking, because literally within a few weeks after this event, his diet was sharply narrowed down to doctor's pasta cereals, yogurt sausages uh-huh well, that is all something that is very soft and easy to swallow. that is, it seems that the moment when he choked, he was frightened. you frightened, no one was frightened. i don't remember us being really scared. that is, i didn’t have any memory left, there wasn’t any emotional experience. nobody beat. on his back. they didn't keep their heads down, they weren't shaking yet, which i remember at

that moment. but it was more my fear was not a child. and how badly i feel. i asked myself for blood to cut the food to prepare for the soup, and before that i washed the tiles. and when i got up to go cook soup, i saw on the board some kind of i thought it was the tool. i was afraid that i would now cook ugu soup with this remedy for the child. although i later understand with my brain that it was just potato starch, but at that moment i was very scared well, your pregnancy, when did it pass, how did you eat? i ate everything you have one child one. and how old are you 35 35 plan a second. and, to be honest, we really wanted a second child right away, but after i gave birth to me, i had the feeling that i was cheating, they sucked all my strength, all my health, and i simply, and a whole person got out of you. so i

just understand that my body is not yet ready for this, as it is today, when you give your child some new product, how does he react. no , i don't want to. leave me alone. leave me alone . the child must not eat vitamins. you can't eat vitamins. so what is his favorite food ? what is the general food culture in your family? how do you eat in the morning woke up or to have breakfast all together or everyone ate when they had time in the evening, it turns out only the weekend , since the spouse leaves very early for work. and then we wake up. that is, i feed him, because he needs to eat before the kindergarten. he won't eat there.

well, tomorrow yourself it’s good how you spread a sandwich for him, but you yourself ate porridge or something a little porridge bread and butter, while it’s worth mentioning that he doesn’t want to hold a spoon at his four and a half years, that is, he asks me to feed him. in the morning and evening he he only eats at lunch. in the last three months he began to eat a little broth. even the teacher began to send me a video and , accordingly, you took him to the garden for caramel breakfast. sadovo took him away and fed him. yes, there are more than pasta, doctor's, sausage, pasta excellent do you have someone in your family or had , maybe someone has some kind of nutritional health problems in my childhood i ate poorly . well, in the sense that i ate little, not limited, that is, an unlimited diet. a little in principle, here and at the age of i started having stomach problems and more degree. this is most likely due to

stress. and your child can eat boiled broccolin, for example, he will become. he is not. well, you can't feed him that either. as i understand it, well, only when complementary foods were introduced, he still ate it, like in a jar. yes, i continued, i want to go further, respectively, when you have dinner how squandered to go. we sit down at the table, there is a husband. i am a child. first, i feed him accordingly, then my husband and i eat. and you eat what you eat as a spouse. i don't i know borsch, but he eats pasta like this, well , it turns out, or are you also going pasta at this moment? ah, well he's asking you to buy some food outside. there are chewing gum, sweets, sucking all sorts, lollipops, and rarely very much. well, that is, we even go to the store. he, that is, he will come in there. he will say do not forget to buy me sausage, there is fruton and lollipops. do not forget, but let's say, like

some children, they come up there, buy and buy-coupe. no, this is not a question, that is , he has some. and in this sense , desire, when he enters some supermar is not even that desire. he just knows that we go grocery shopping for the weekend, and there i always write to my spouse and control them so that they don’t forget about him. and yes, that is how it looks like. don't forget my sausage , my butter. it's good that your child eats something, but in nature, such as strawberries from the garden, tomatoes from the garden, apricots from the tree. no, because it does not appear in such circumstances or not. the spouse's parents have a dacha, that is, uh, try and collect with him in any way. uh huh you have domestic animals. no, he sees some domestic animals on the street, he feeds some there in the zoo he fed someone, somehow. there he likes to feed

other animals. well, yes, but there are some traditional meetings in your family for 100 years , you go to your mother there, i don’t know, go somewhere else to visit, he knows that everyone sits down. everyone has gathered, he is sitting at the table with you. cover separately. no, as if at the table, we always try to put a plate for him, just in case. well, he leaves to play, or we will try van, then eat everything with us. no, he leaves to play and that's it. here comes a great extended to your family. there are others. his children are the same age or a little older, but we somehow came. here to visit where the children were. well, there he ate pancakes among everyone there. ate cheesecakes. basically a child. actually eats food. quite a good thing, but you are embarrassed that he does not want to. there are no others to try anything else, because, well, that is, vitamins, as such, he essentially does not

receive. no, it turns out, maybe it would be possible to expand the diet, but i don’t know i here from myself in the childhood to recollect. i think i grew up on bread and butter and sugar. and accordingly, this is what i ate during the day in the evening, but i do not know how to fly any i guess. yes , i don’t know about potatoes, well, it’s just that we ate a lot of things on the street that grew. so somehow we got some vitamins well? and he, accordingly, does not try, does not eat. and that is, it somehow feeds on how easily you try something new. i am generally easy, that is, for you. i don't know, there to introduce not from food, but new activities, some new ways spending time new relationship. how easy is it for you, in general, to introduce something new into your life. well, in principle, it is not difficult. but maybe just with the birth of a child. it somehow became less. i don't change jobs often. no,

there is no such thing. well, like trying something new. in principle, i can, but i say, it was somehow more in my youth. well, that is , it’s easier, probably like this, and then they suddenly became a mother, yes, and it began to fade away and somehow limit. yes, your child sees. uh you in some class where you try yourself in a new way. i don’t know, the child sees you, that you went there and suddenly started singing recently. he saw that i went to the pool, because initially he went there and the other day he saw me swimming there, but just in a big pool. that was new, right? this is a podcast triggers, and with you we are its leading psychologist, psychotherapist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist , psychotherapist sergey for herself and alena as our guest. she tells a story about the behavior of her own son's food selectivity. what does it mean to you to be a mother? what is this?

this is to be an example. this is a big responsibility for the life of another person. it's hard. ah, to be honest, in my opinion. and now, after the birth of a child, i tell many friends there i know that for me it is to be a mother. this is the hardest job in the world. that is, only with the birth of a child. i realized that no other job would be like this. this is ugh good. have you ever been to some exotic countries, such as thailand india no, you haven't been. well, only egypt and turkey are all so-so exotic but, for example, how do you imagine guess? how will you react when you are offered to eat some fried worm beetles, i think i'll try. try yes, that is, you are not afraid to eat

on the street, even in the same turkey, in the same egypt. well, that is, inside, it seems to me that i will reproach myself, as it were, well, that is, i think to myself, probably, then you will feel bad uh-huh well, i'll try. uh-huh and if the son was next to you and when they offered fried bugs and he would generally not mind, they gave him a try. i don't think so why? well, because for some reason my first thought is that in the first place. eh, my husband would be against it. well, i, probably, too, because i’m still not well myself, that is, i probably would have tried first, would have waited a day, and then i would, well, that is, well, no, what is it? hardly not. come on, what's the responsibility? uh, the role, yes, to be a mother, and you easily accepted it, you immediately accepted it. or did you think that it would be somehow different, it would be much easier and easier, and it seems to me, and it turned out that in fact, this is a huge responsibility,

not practically feasible, it seems to me, yes, well, that is, firstly, i am such a person enough, but i was active and alive here again. uh-huh and you, as if abruptly planted at home and you do not belong, in fact, to yourself. uh huh and. well, it's a big responsibility to cope with it. ah, it was hard, and after about a year hmm, a little more i even had depression. postpartum postpartum, well, that is , it was such a delay, how serious. it was it was very serious, because i even had to turn, and first to a psychologist. i was looking for a psychologist then and we they did not agree. that is, after two or three months, i realized that it was hard for me to work with this person, and i also turned to a psychotherapist. uh, we tried to resolve the issue.

so they gave me pills. wow , about a month. i took them, but i realized that this is not mine. i felt very bad for them and physically mentally. and i left them after a while. i found another psychologist. we worked with him for some time. i realized that again this was not mine, and then women advised me, and we worked with her for about six months. and this is what it seems to me it saved me, that is, in terms of time, how long it lasted, it was all about a year, how your depression passed. as it manifested itself , i will say right away it is terrible. and it always seems like, well, before it happened to me. i thought, god, what is depression? yes, how is it possible and only when you yourself are in this state, only then do you understand from the outside to people. probably this. well, it's somehow

inexplicable, or something, i was lying in bed. i didn't even want to get up and didn't want to wake up. i just couldn't do anything. i took my holiday account from work. i did not work, even for a while, because i could not find the strength in myself to do anything at all. that is, even getting up is hard for days, in fact. yes? ugu and the son was nearby, and practically. well, yes, that is, she lived with us, my mother at that time. well, that is, in one apartment. well, yes, he saw it. you live in moscow. in the suburbs. well, you and your husband spend time together. well, like once a week once every 2 weeks somehow. so you go somewhere there, we try to go to a cafe or there in the cafe. how do you choose what you will eat for dinner with your spouse. well, to be honest, lately, we're practically choosing the same thing. i also thought so, but

what is the probability that you get tired like this today, he says, today we will eat, for example, there is thai food tomorrow vietnamese. well, or there is vietnamese food. well, here 's how it's possible. or if you offer your husband to eat some aztec cuisine, he will say some sex cuisine has gone crazy, send our favorite tea house. well that is, we had attempts a couple of times simpler something new and we came across the fact that , well, it’s not tasty for us, and we realized that this is our favorite place. our favorite is also not tasty for him. he doesn't like it either. it's just very concentrated inside him in general, in principle, you know, i watch my son. i have both kids, but i'm the same myself. until, uh , 15, i didn't eat anything that wasn't cooked by my mom. i didn’t go to camps, because of this i didn’t go to any, but practically didn’t go anywhere. and if i went somewhere, they gave me with them a bunch of products, such as sausages, that's all there, so that i could somehow live somehow.

i have exactly the same children and watching my son grow up, just at this age i discovered a very interesting, but protective reaction that actually exists in all children, but i dedicated it to him, and in this sense it is called nope like this, that is, when something new, not only food, but also in food, is offered to my little son. he first said no, and then looked, what offers. this is not, but i realized that this is a protective function child from everything new. and this is a very important function, because a child of a certain age explores this world. ah, well, it tastes to the touch, yes, and so on, but at a certain moment the child begins to defend himself against everything new, then with age. this is protection, uh , developed in an adult and an adult generally tries to live the most stable comfortable life so that nothing new breaks in. and if you steal, then under control, yes, it somehow breaks in, and therefore this is the age when such protection begins to form in children. a

look you say we tasted us tasteless we go to the same cafe it's strange. i understand you, but this is strange. if you asked me, for example, 15 years ago, i would not just understand you, i would say you are doing the right thing, but suddenly you will be poisoned in another place. because i haven't eaten anywhere. if i came somewhere abroad, and i came there almost with my food , relatively speaking, yes, there, i always ate only what i know how it looks alive or there in the beds and that's how it looks here, but yo 15 maybe a little more back. i set myself such a task that now i will be everything in general, that's all that they give. i will eat everything. the only thing i have failed in my life. and this is where it gets hard. this is tibetan tea with you and your husband, both of you actually have a selective nutritional essence and why i asked how you eat? how do you go? what is the culture of your dinners at, and so on, and of course the child sees this and he cannot but learn this, because you educate the child with the so-called method adopted by him, that is, he is your behavior inside

impresses himself gives out as a result, this is for his behavior. well, and, accordingly, further it seems to him that this is his personality. right now. his personality, when it only began to take shape, was not even formed yet. it begins to take shape, including this one. uh, protection from your suggestions. this is the formation of his personality, while he is only an individual. there is another very important point. uh, i'm going to make the assumption that when you were coming out of that depression, one of the pillars that you got out of was your child. and it was yours identification, mom, of course, that i have to go beyond depression, because i am a mother, because if something happens, not what will happen. i will tell you a secret. nothing happened at all. would have cried and would have found a new mother, i don’t know where the stepmother would be like in a good fairy tale, it doesn’t matter if it’s bad. yes, but this identity pulled you out of there and as soon as it pulled you out. she hooked you up with your son again. she's just hooked on you. and that's why he plays mom with you? my

leg hurts, feed me. yes, mother, i i can't hold a fork, feed me, because this is your game with him and in this sad game. he loves it and you love it. it's obviously all absolutely right in that it's anxiety. this is yours and your game and he plays along with you. this is its symptom. it's not his problem. he's just playing along. let's try to figure it out. why such anxiety? tell me please about your childhood, about your family. i have a mom. the brother was the father. well, then it was when i was seven years old, my parents divorced, and we left. my mother, my mother, my brother and i left, my brother is four years older. i didn’t have parents who lived together, like what a family was like, while they were together, it’s not like that. you know, it comes to mind that this is my childhood. this is

a disturbing childhood. something is happening to you right now because your father raised his hand against your mother. the father understood the hand on his brother. and there were moments when i was scared for the life of my brother and my father did not raise his hand to me, but it was all before my eyes. this happened repeatedly. yes, brother, a 40-degree frost even ran away from home barefoot. dad did. it's under the influence of alcohol in particular, yes. and so, at some point, my mother realized that, well, just when a hammer had already flown into her. that he just one day, well, it can happen scary? she brought us together. first , we moved to an apartment with her friend, after some time, the father returned us. found returned

knelt asking my mother to return. then all the same everything returned to normal and my mother packed things for him and went to my grandmother to her mother and so on together. and then everything was relatively calm, but i just don’t remember that i'm like a child, like there was something wrong with me. well, that is, i had some fears, as if i was always inside, and then when i started to grow up, it so happened that my mother was, brother, he at that time divorced, met his fourth wife and also moved to his grandmother. he also drank heavily. danger i remember very well that i had a fear of coming home from school. i didn't want to go home. i always had some kind of fear at school, and i can't stand drunken people.

do you communicate with your father now? at the moment , no, and recently i advise just the same psychologist. uh, she told me that in a good way it would be either how to write a letter , how to father or in a good way to find in general where he could talk to him on the phone there, and she tried to find him, but i was the only one. the connection is through my cousin. i write to her, she does not answer. uh-huh, i don't know how to find my father anymore. i don't even know if he's alive hid the life of your mother or your brother with words. i mean threatened. i don’t remember in words what your well, their lives are in danger of small currents. well, that's dad