how old are you eugene i am 32 years old. well, take off. you are, of course, absolutely amazing. yes why did the divorce happen? as far as i know, it was my mother's initiative, and my mother decided to play, but probably outplayed herself. maybe, what happened? what are the conditions? did mom set it? my mother, she really, but thought that a divorce could help, on the contrary, restore the family. they communicated quite badly in the last 15 years before the divorce, especially badly, and in the last 5 years before the divorce. they stopped talking altogether. that is, in general, and not talking. they lived together and did not speak. and my mom. she just didn’t know how to deal with it anymore, to be honest, with dad. she didn't specifically say anything. she is the kind of person who does not really like to discuss, especially some psychological problems, unlike, for example , me. and here she is, but she decided that if she gets divorced, that is, she will bring the situation to a close. to the extreme point to the peak, then maybe dad will change and a will pay attention to

the problem that, they have not spoken for 5 years. something needs to be done about this will return to her, as if changed. and she how old was at that time at that time you know, honestly, i'm not very good with mathematics. mom, i can count the sixty-eighth year, and in 2018 my dad divorced the sixty-sixth year. and you have a large family. yes, a large family. yes, and relatives were simply shocked that our family had broken up. we have four children , the oldest. and why in shock, in shock, because in fact, in public, my parents always played the role of an exemplary family, and dad, when they are together somewhere went to the theater, for example, or somewhere else to visit, always hugged my mother, looked after her, that is, defiantly everything was decorous and decent. so my parents got divorced. ugh and suddenly. as i understand it , a lamp is completely unexpected for my mother. i didn't remember.

yes, i didn’t ran to my mother, yes, yes, i brought another woman and i brought her, as i understand it, to the house in which you grew up yes, to the house in which i grew up, but it didn’t happen so soon, that is, a year passed a year later after the divorce, he brought this woman. yes, and his mother was waiting for him. a year later, you found out, yes, i found out about this when i brought it unknown. maybe even earlier. by the way, yes, his mother is waiting for him, that is, they parted after the divorce. uh-huh so it turned out that my mother left for some other apartment, a fairly wealthy family, and my father stayed in the apartment in which you grew up four children, your large large family, that is, your father's house. yes, that 's right, and now where your mother went, yes, in the baths that your mother washed in the kitchen in which she cooked, which we don’t we know how. well, somehow the spouses shared. also, despite the crisis, another woman lives. yes, that's exactly how you can't accept this situation. yes, i can’t

accept this situation. another problem is that initially, when he brought her, my younger brother still lived there. that is, we are the younger brother. he was forced to live, it turns out, in the same apartment with this woman, of course, he didn’t like it. and he had not yet reached the age of majority. and he lived for 2 years. it turns out with this woman and then entered the university and left for moscow. in principle, many people from cheboksary leave for moscow to study. uh-huh. so i tried to at least talk with my dad. well, maybe they can meet in another territory or something. well, or just my right, as the older sister tried there, i tried at least to consult. hmm, will this not affect the boy badly? that is, as if on my brother, because the brother himself openly said that he did not want to live with this woman. well, dad was, in principle, no difference whether he wants to or not, and a to his younger brother. this moment was 16 years. yes, what is the request now, if you try to isolate it from you to

mikhail as a psychologist, what would you like to understand? it's just the way i am as a person. well, i think it's appropriate. i understand that this is how everyone actually lives. and this is normal, well, in a civil marriage, that is, they get divorced, for example, and then they did not marry, they did not marry. at me it here, especially develop. oh, i see, and they didn't get married and are you really worried that they live in a civil union or are you worried that this woman comes into your mom's bedroom me, uh, worries that more that they live in a civil marriage more. that is, this woman, of course, has me worried in the capacity that she is not officially a spouse, but it does not work out . that is, if they got married officially, you would not come to us here and would not want to solve your problems. because i don’t know how i would have reacted 100%, but i suspect that i probably wouldn’t have come to you, because in fact

the parent’s attitude was from childhood, that, well, how it should be only official marriage, and one time you are excellent and you understand that it should be very right, but then it is wrong. yes? yes ok. you want michael to help you. focus now, let's try to answer. honestly, first to myself, and then to mikhail, let's go. you want michael to help him accept this situation , how can i take it easy or build such a strategy of behavior so that they eventually get married and formalize the relationship. no, i would like her to disappear altogether now honestly, i would like, uh, that i accept this situation because she disappeared from the apartment. no, why do i need this, that is, in fact, i personally have nothing against her. i just really have a mindset that it's bad that my dad is now living outside women. and they are not officially married, and for me it is a sin to put it this way, that is, as

a person of orthodox self-consciousness , i support and accept. so i would like to, but at the same time i understand that my dad he is already an adult to decide for himself how he should live and how he should behave? i understand that he has a right to it. he has the right to live like this, but for me the dramaturgy is that in the end i can’t help myself, and i limit the children from him. that is, to him on the territory of the apartment, for example, i do not let children. i just can't, because there are pictures of them all over the place, for example, and i can't m-m your new woman, yes , the basics of a woman, and you literally talked to her about this topic. i talked to him. she didn't do anything to me. no, agreed. listen maybe there somehow there to arrange a relationship to live. well, i talked about this with dad more than once, that is, they are somehow not very with dad, as it were. well, he doesn't want to formalize anything. after the divorce, they divided the property in half, and he said that he was disillusioned with the judicial system and he doesn’t want mikhail

to catch me in this situation. it seems to me that evgenia is not entirely sincere, because she is deceiving us. and it seems to me that he is deceiving himself. let's try to figure it out. i will watch. maybe i don’t see any insincerity in evgenia, if honestly, for me, this is how you behave quite sincerely. here is another question, that your emotions are dictated by certain opinions, yes , about this situation and you consider these opinions to be correct. i want to eradicate it. i really want to get rid of this. you understand that this prevents me from living, because the number cannot be the same as someone from you once taught it, it is diverse and dad’s person has the right, but to live as he sees fit, but i sincerely cannot . this acceptance is still in my soul i can’t mom, no don't be sorry, no sorry, she's fine. i mean, that's what she did. yes , mom has some grievances. you somehow share with each other. yes, my mom and i

communicate very well, well, much more than with dad. well, well, since childhood, she was just a very good-natured person, but, of course, after the divorce to dad. she is frankly angry, but she still believes that someday they will reunite, that is, she does not lose this hope, but, that is, now she is not going to look for partners with her mother for a year, moreover, she is pretty with her. basically, a lot fans who tried to somehow look after her, but she is not, that is, she is not going to, even she is waiting for him. in fact. she envy. here is some assessment. give your mother what she is like in the end, based on this situation, that under 50 she initiated a divorce. and in order to something someone. to read that she is still waiting for a man who has been living there for years with others with other women, but still there is one woman there. well michael before this block. ah, a little. yes, it is in the clouds. she's so romantic i guess it got to me a bit too.

here, why do you think? i asked several times about your brother's age, your mother. maybe we are infantile people hmm yes, this is flying in the clouds, more precisely, it is called infantilism. yes, but what is infantilism, can you tell our viewers? i myself am not a psychologist. i don't know, but i guess if by myself someone is probably a little more rosy some way of looking at the world. maybe some kind of infant. who is this? yes, it's not an adult. so that's infantilism. this inadequacy to one's own and physiological age, socially inadequate. yes, it's true. yes, there is exactly that, so the only way to cope with infantilism is to grow not physically, yes, but intellectually, socially there, which means morally. here, and further on, here you

have a wonderful phrase, you said, i am an adequate person, that is, i meant this phrase. yes, i understand that now, well, people can live, adults decide for themselves how to live and that's fine. well, in terms of society and society, what dad has this woman, but the indoor unit does not let me in, even my feet on the threshold of his house, that is, yes, why. because further on, it seems that in words the normality of this is recognized. i want to dock, but emotionally no why? and because we have an attitude, yes, there should be only an official marriage, i quote. it's bad that dad doesn't live in an official marriage. 100% you are correct. and now the question is important and yes to you too, since you joined this opinion natalya why is it bad that dad lives in an unofficial marriage proof of this statement? well here, well, look, yes, since you can already come to me and

start, and then look at yevgeny. but when we accept certain foundations of christian morality, we do not question them, because these are already questions of faith, questions of beliefs, and so on. i would not now, in fact, this is the focus, because if you are, well, like any christian, then your answer is this, because i believe in it, because i believe in it, because these are the obligations that we declare the symbol of faith, but there is another question. we are with you again know that e any situation in christianity. what are we doing? we cover with love. yes, we understand that a person is weakly a person. weak yes, the lord loves us in any way , which means that we, as it seems to me, should. well, at least strive to at least try to love too. uh-huh people of any kind, especially dad, the question is always how to love? yes, this is it,

this is, uh, as if in any essentially a book on practical psychology, which is now a million yes, you must have read it once. you are fond of love, then love yourself not tell how to love? a person with prolonged anxiety often hears advice. calm down. or, for example, don't be nervous. thanks for the advice. need to sleep it's easy to say, but in fact, anxiety can be treated. by the end of the first week, afobazol helps to cope with anxiety, anxiety and associated insomnia. afobazole anxiety can and should be treated. find out everything about anxiety on the all-russian portal of the territory and dot rf. what could be better than the friendship that you carried through your whole life? with friends, all such friendship

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car with the perfect price, it counts for seconds , and this is where the tinkoff car loan comes in handy apply for a car loan in the tinkoff app for both a new and a used tinkoff car . papa it hurts when you don't bring to him your children's dad hurt. no, not him, sorry too. i just can't help it. and why does mikhail think that dad doesn’t hurt, that yevgeny is coming to him, because it’s not known if dad is hurt or not? it's just us, that's just your opinion. yes, nothing, in fact, but in reality it’s not confirmed, even if dad tells you that it hurts, although he didn’t tell you, he says, yeah, that means, even if he tells you, it’s not a fact that it is so. a? well, you interrupt. say it again. that's an interesting thought uh-huh because maybe i'm wrong that he

hurts, maybe he says that for other reasons. ugh well done. maybe he wants to fix this, at least the situation and make sure that i still have him more often, if only due to the fact that i sympathized with him. of course, i sympathize with him, but still do nothing. i can’t, that is, what can you do? this is also a mistake. we 'll talk about yours now. well, here's the first one. yes, you do not know what is going on in the minds of other people, even if they tell you something, it is a very thought that i would never have thought of myself. now this is really great. yes, it's good that we still didn't interrupt you. yes, and gave you this how to complete this thought? yes , great, and the younger brother. yes, this story is also important separately. you respond to you with pain. it is also important for me to separately consider you said, so my younger brother was forced to live with him and endure the presence of this woman

is a lie. uh-huh it was your little brother's choice. yeah, he's 16 years old, 16 years old, people of our generation have already left home. eh, that means somewhere they went back and forth. yeah, and people with the previous generation at the age of 16 already plowed. being built by bam and so on does not know that today's generation of 16-year-olds is much more infantile much less mature your brother, if he wanted to leave, he would have left. and why, by the way, did he not go to his mother to interrupt again? do not interrupt, natalya, tell me you agreed that brother, if i wanted to leave already, i’m now thinking again. you take me from a completely different point of view. great no wonder you are a professional. yes, i really thought in fact, because my brother had a choice, but just glasses of good things to go home, where to provide him back and forth on free bread or to go to you or something else. yes, the choice is for mom, that

is, mom moved out to another apartment. the only thing is, and my mother felt sorry for herself, well , it turns out her son, because she moved out to a odnushka. dad stayed at four. well, that is, brother, in fact, he made a choice in favor of comfort. yes. and you still feel sorry for him. yes and you still do it completely to him and some kind of resentment yes , you overload your nervous system, thank you, yes, that is. it would be unfair, mikhail , imagine, here is a large family, four children, and now dad stays with a new woman in a four-room apartment, and the boy has to go with his mother to a one-room apartment, not even honestly. and who decides? what is fair? do you even word justice? here's how, study what it is there two roots natalya tell two roots etymologically this word. true uh-huh and the word to know, that is, to understand to know. it's great to understand justice - this is to know the truth. and the truth is a description of reality as it is

it is there, cool, i didn’t think about it from this angle at all, but i understand that you are bad for the right, because everything adds up. if you think about it, he really, after all, made a choice and his mother offered him, in fact, she said, but if you are uncomfortable, come to me, well, he said, that and a bigger bed. you see, yes, the mental suffering of transgression, that is, brother, he said that no matter how much i like living with this woman, but he still remained there, yes, that is, the action was that he stayed, but michael is purely a mathematician. well, we are together. acquired property a quarter of the children gave birth to four children. you have not raised this youngest yet, he is 16 years old. you haven't raised him yet. and you have to raise them. that's why they are so infantile that we raised them with our children and help them. ok then. let's call it just a crazy father. i can't imagine the situation that i don't have to insult me. oh, especially my paternity.

that's why help children. this is one thing , you know, to raise good ones. by the way, do you understand, how many more times are there three children? at there are three of me. yes, here is a good adviser for you. and you will surely support me honestly, and the little peanut has only been learning to walk for 9 months, he is just super falling. what do the majority do? raise mothers passing by running. yes? yes, you need what the father of the version natalya does is crazy. he comes up, gets on his knee next to him , gives a pen and says, come on, how beautiful you are. i will help you. here i am right here. i do not stand on the sidelines, i smoke indifferently. yes, but at the same time i don’t drown in this child, rather , blow, knock on the floor three times. here from here. they are infantile with us, yes, that we are raising them. natalya, they helped with these children, but you don’t need to directly at all, but

to speak. well, there, how close are you here, as your mother did about yours, which means the youngest. come here, i'll take you. uh-huh , and then you make a decision on the issue and yevgeny is like mikhail to you, but the question is such a uh-huh. it's not clear e nature of the association, when you talked about the father and the child, but nevertheless, they arose for me. here, look, your father, perhaps, also needs some kind of dialogue of some kind of your support. and i got the feeling that here is your dialogue. uh, maybe even internal is not literally a dialogue with the father. only daughters, and the eldest daughter. yes, the eldest daughter in a large family, this is such a vice-mother, yes, that is, the same uh, who is responsible for other children, and so on. and here is your dialogue, uh, with your father, your inner one, as it seems to me, it was understood, you are only a father, you did not

fulfill the role that in our ideal family, which you taught me should have take place. yes, and it seemed to me that you do not perceive dad at all as a person who is certainly close to you, but here is a separate man. you really have natalya, i don’t know where you get such an ability to turn everything upside down. we have the same error. now here, look how this situation really is from the point of view of psychology. you said evgenia perceives the pope as the pope does not perceive him. as a man, there is no stand-alone personality, evgenia just perceives in this whole situation dad as an individual, they are like a younger dad. you understand, you climb to him with your moralizing, not as a dad, but as a separate peasant whom you teach how to live? am i really not teaching him how to live? i just say the opposite, so i don't know what

to do. naturally, i understand that you probably don’t climb. yeah they don't ask for forgiveness. just didn't agree. yes, here, but when will you start treating him exactly like dad? dad is a husband, mom is not a husband, mom, and then dad will feel better for you. here it’s hard for me to perceive him a little, directly, as such a sweet beloved dad, and you don’t always have to deceive. if you are offended by him, you are completely at least inside yourself. well, allow yourself this insult, but why are you doing this, but forcing yourself to be nice and good with everyone. you are so-so. this is your strategy personality. tell here. what is especially painful and offensive to you uh-huh in this situation. well, probably, michael said to take it as a dad after all. yes, it’s difficult for me, because in

fact, i seem to be already an adult. i have already it seems to have survived the insult, but in childhood. basically, i was the only person. but when dad he loved, he was quick-tempered, in principle, such a person, he loved to quarrel and childhood. i had a heavy one. i think in terms of psychological pressure, as it were on me and on all other family members, but here i am the only one who was a dad. tell dad out of nonsense could burn to get angry. here there is some small mess, for example, or the number of cutlery, or it differs there, let's say by one. and this could result in a terrible mat. now he has changed, by the way, now he has changed. now he doesn't act like that anymore. after the divorce, especially he has changed. but in the meantime, i was little since i was 3 years old. it was a solid mat, that is, behind the scenes. well, people about this, he always swore, and the external ideal family, right? it seems to me that he emasculated a little my

, uh, feelings of my daughter, as if for him, maybe, that's why she's still so pretty. i want to be , how can there be a defensive reaction in order to survive somehow in this world to adapt or so that dad doesn’t swear , so that no one swears, because, well, i saw that dad swears, and how i would argue with him, that is , i argued very actively, but now they stopped, it happens sometimes. but look, i'll give you such a task. try this. take a sheet of paper. write a letter well? where write down and the grievances that you have against him and the one that we explain, and especially those children's ones. and what would you write, for example, i would write about of course, about this obscenity is constantly very loud and there were insults large is also my address, including the general address, well, other family members, that is, i was told that, roughly speaking, i am a piece there. why manure, which can be trampled back on the ground? if anything, that is, i heard a lot of things during my childhood, it was hard. yeah

, that's why i was still glad, including leaving for moscow, as if to enroll in studies. here, i understand you very much, and here i don’t even see the point at this stage of your life, this is it, let's forgive everyone. there it is no is. here i am sure, in fact, what are you up to the end did not get angry at dad. for this, yes , they didn’t allow me to live this anger at him right away. i have had such attempts, but, apparently, not to the end. and when will you write out this piece of paper. so fold. let her lie down natalya do not interrupt to lie down. then open and something else, add, then from there and only after that decide you know everything, i really, probably, would add it later. yes, yes, we entered like this, and then only after that. uh-huh, decide, give it back, they drank it or not to give it to dad,

nightmare is a very difficult task. but i think it's worth it. you entered the cambridge mgims and became an excellent student, this is also in order to prove to your dad that there will not be a piece, it seems that there is no such plant at the brain level, but at the internal level, most likely, it is there. i think so, that is, on an internal level. i probably wanted to show, dad, well , it’s worth watching something, i studied on a budget, it turns out that i entered 4 years of bachelor’s degree myself, and in cambridge. unfortunately, there was no opportunity, but for our country it's free study, so dad paid a million spent in total on living on everything, that is, on education. uh-huh, it was paid. yes? obviously thanks dad. yes? let's go back, then, to a look at the illegal marriage situation. yes, yes, illegal, so illegal. yes yes. what do you think,

if dad will formalize? relationships, who will be the heir of all his property the first heir hmm what an interesting question? well, i don't know, but if dad could choose, it seems to me that he would not testament his son, by law. i don’t know if, god forbid, something happens to a person unexpectedly , and his will is either not written or hidden somewhere and no one has found him, the main heir to all the property of a person is his official by law. huh husband not kids. i'm stupid. i didn't know anything, but a spouse or spouse. i understand, you know, dad is so protective of you. well, you see, yes, he did say something like that. well, he said that i

was disappointed, like in the judicial topic, that they all get divided in half, and i don’t want to go through this again. go through here, maybe he meant it, i now thought, mikhail hit the mark so well. actually. maybe he is protecting you, maybe he is. well, tell me, now it's out loud itself, so that it doesn't sound from me. maybe the pope tried to protect us in this way and still until now. say it again, maybe the pope is trying to protect us. to leave her acquired property to us, and to the woman how old well, approximately, it seems to me, she is seven years younger than my mother, but in fact, she now lives with her father, ask, yes she invests her those relationships, but she is not legally protected in any way, so she is the victim here, probably,

but unexpectedly. yes, she may be the victim. well, by the way, i told my dad, that's constantly on the phone. dad, well, get married for 4 years. well, well, now i understand why, perhaps, he does not marry, perhaps, he, as it were, is trying to protect us. well, himself, probably nothing, so maybe he's not completely unsure, but that's okay. well, yes , by the way, he’s not completely sure about it, i don’t know, but he says, or maybe i do we won't live with her for a while. this is what is called not entirely sure that dad is even possible. without reporting. just like mother evgenia, somewhere deep down inside, i hope that she will return and there will be a family again, as it was, maybe we can’t get into the soul of a person. just don't count on it

, i didn't count on it. he once said this for a day, maybe in 50 days we will get married again, in 50 years. how old will they be, i think, yes? he tells me why can't you accept it? we don't think about it. i say, well, i can't help but think about it ah-ah can't believe in formula formula informal. yes this is bad. i already asked the question. prove that natalia has a simple proof. well, like all strongly religious people, and this is bad, because i believe in it. yes, well, well, you're something more like a rational person. and somehow why is it bad? why is this bad proof? my mother is a medical doctor, and from childhood she, as it were, taught what i say, like, how, well, how classically, i spend vera not drinking, not smoking, and having only one partner. that is, like, and

if supposedly this partner is changing, then supposedly it is bad for health, i don’t know for the health of anyone for the health of a person who changes men or women. well, probably here we are talking about dad, who, according to the changer, well, there is, uh, the only one. uh-huh, some more or less data about what a woman can be. this is bad. well, a man, he is actually by nature polygons. uh-huh and this is scientifically sound information. i'm just an expert there. i just don't know, so therefore, i specifically wanted to protect us from such a scenario, therefore i say why it is impossible to harm health to explain. all of you drove me to a standstill, you know, we won. i don't question victory or anything. see what's important, yes, the more we have these fantasies that are inadequate to reality, not corresponding to reality faith as true, although once again the truth is that which corresponds to reality. you are a man. i am a woman. this corresponds to reality.

but this is bad or it is impossible to harm health. yes, you can live out of this is better not to harm health. but listen, we have health not only, uh, we have physical health. also mental health . yes, michael, you see, likes to draw conclusions. nothing substantiated, he says, so convincingly that people believe in it, study, by the way, if a person spends years because of a spoon. psychic, how does this affect his mental health? how does this affect the mental health of the children around? yes , it negatively influences very strongly, and mental health is a state of nervous system, and the state of the nervous system - this state of the whole body is absolutely absolute. that 's all. you see, there are no definite decisions to live together with one partner, no matter what it is good for health, but it is harmful to get divorced. yes, we just realized that both, perhaps, it

turns out, they took a wider perspective, because i looked only here, as from a point of view. health, only in terms of changing partners and that's it. and you said, but there are different ways to spoil the health of psychological health. it sometimes causes such things, as if even on physical health . no one has canceled the math, you should not believe in it, as the only factor that affects our health. in general, even here i really have a completely different perspective. another perspective. broad perspective, thank you very much. well , the only thing i would like you to understand is that, of course, no one here was chasing you into a corner. and no one fought with you at all, mikhail is very provocative. he is a master of provocation, on the contrary, they won. you, on the contrary, feel it was admiration, that michael turns out, he's right. i agree, that is, this is like a key that i am looking for myself , i am trying to find for myself why? that is. well, why is it normal that dad

lives like this and i can’t find this key, and mikhail already found so many cool moments during the program that clicked. i don't have much that clicks in my head. and right here, yes, these are his works eugene that came to us. i think that the most important result of our meeting today is for you. so it seems to me that this is an opportunity to think about reviewing many, many episodes of your life. just with the other side and in this, of course. with the diversity of life, we have one life, you need to live it in such a way that it is interesting for you, useful and not painful. and, of course, still love, please, your loved ones, allow yourself to love them and accept mine there. here is a worldly wish, yes, and now scientific wishes yes, you don’t have to live life in such a way that, as natalya said, you can live like that. it's just that if it doesn't work out, it doesn't matter either. uh-huh yes, and the last, probably, my message that i wanted to give you for our

meeting for our program is your phrase do. i can't do anything here. uh huh, uh huh. this is the phrase that most likely hurts you. yes, yes, simply, because you think that you should do something absolutely , i think so, but this is not and no. also wrong. you are under no obligation to influence this situation. you may be able to change something to some extent. or maybe not, a revolution of consciousness, simply, that is, i am not even obliged to worry, therefore, about and try to fix something. yes, and they will say it is absolutely not necessary to be an excellent student in order to be happy. yes, i do it over time. i just understood. thank you it was a hint of the psyche, where i, a journalist and a clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences mikhail khors, discussed the situation of an excellent large family.