but he leaves to play or try my van, then sit with us, eat. no, he leaves to play and that's it, extended to your family. there are others. his children are the same age or a little older than not, but we somehow came. here to visit where the children were. well, there he ate pancakes among everyone there. ate cheesecakes. basically a child. actually eats food it's okay, but you are embarrassed that he does not want to. there are no others to try anything else, because, well, that is, vitamins, as such, he essentially does not receive. no, it turns out maybe it would be possible to expand this diet, but i don’t know, i remember myself as a child. it seems to me that i grew up on bread with sugar butter and, accordingly, what i ate during the day in the evening, but i don’t know any cutlets i ate i guessed. i don't know about potatoes. well, we just ate a lot of things on the street that grew. so somehow we got some vitamins well?

and he, accordingly, does not try not to eat. uh, that is, it somehow feeds on how easy it is for you to try something new. i'm generally easy, that is for you. i do not know there to introduce not from food, but a new occupation some new ways of spending time new relationships. how easy is it for you to introduce something new into your life. well, in principle, it is not difficult. but maybe just with the birth of a child. it somehow became less. i don't change jobs often. no, there is no such thing. uh, well, how to try something new, in principle, i can, but i say, it was somehow more in my youth. well, that is, it’s easier, probably like this, but someone became a friend of my mother, yes, and this began to fade away. or limited, as somehow you are in some classes, where you try yourself in a new way. i

don’t know, the child sees you, that you went there and suddenly started singing recently. he saw that i went to the pool, because initially he went there and the other day he saw me swimming there, but just in a big pool. this was new, yes. this is a podcast triggers, and with you we are its leading psychologist, psychotherapist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist, psychotherapist sergey for herself and our guest alena she tells a story about the behavior of food selectivity of his own son. what does it mean to you to be a mother? what is this? this is to be an example. this is a big responsibility, not only for one more person's life, it's hard. ah, to be honest, in my opinion. and now, after the birth of a child, i tell many friends there i know that for me it is to be a mother. this is the hardest

job in the world. that is, only with the birth of a child. i realized that no other job would be like this. this is ugh good. have you ever been to any exotic countries, such as thailand india no, they were not. well, only egypt and turkey are all so-so exotic but, for example, how do you imagine yourself? how will you react when you are offered to eat some fried worm beetles, i think i'll try. try yes, that is, you are not afraid to eat on the street, even in the same turkey in the same egypt, that is, inside. it seems to me that i will not only reproach myself, well, that is, i 'll think to myself, probably, then you will feel bad uh-huh well, i'll try. uh-huh and if the son was next to you and when they offered fried zhukov, and in general he would not mind, they gave him a try. i don't think so,

why? well, because for some reason my first thought is that in the first place. eh, my husband would be against it. well, i, probably, too, because i’m still not well myself, that is, i probably tried it first, i would have waited a day, and then, well, that is, well, no, what is it? it is unlikely that what kind of responsibility would be to blame? uh , the role, yes, to be a mother, and you easily accepted it , immediately accepted it. or did you think that it would be somehow different, it would be much easier easier, and it seems to me that he suddenly once and it turned out that in fact, this is a huge responsibility, not practically feasible. uh-huh and you, as if abruptly planting at home you do not belong, in fact, to yourself. uh-huh and, well that's a big responsibility. how did you deal with it? but it was hard, and after about

a year hmm, i even got depressed a little more. postpartum postpartum, well, that is , it was such a delay, how serious is this was. it was very serious, because i even had to apply. uh, first see a psychologist. i was looking for a psychologist, then ah. we didn't get along with him. that is, after two or three months, i realized that it was hard for me to work with this person, and i also turned to a psychotherapist. uh, we tried to resolve the issue. that is, no pills were prescribed. wow, about a month. i took them, but i realized that this is not mine. i felt very bad for them and physically mentally. and i left them after a while. i found another psychologist we worked out, not for a while. i realized that again this was not mine, and then

women advised me, and we worked with her for about six months. and this, it seems to me, saved me, that is, in terms of time, how long it lasted, all this was about a year, how your depression passed. as it manifested itself , i will say right away it is terrible. and it always seems like before it happened to me. i thought, god, what is depression? yes, how is it possible, and only when you yourself are in this state, only then do you understand side to people. probably this. well, it's somehow inexplicable, or something, i was lying in bed. i didn't even want to get up and didn't want to wake up. i just couldn't do anything. i took. uh, at my own expense vacation from work. i did not work, even for a while, because i could not find the strength in myself to do anything at all. that is, even getting up is hard for days, in fact. yes? uh-huh, and the son was almost there.

well, yes, that is, she lived with us, my mother. well, that is, in one apartment. yes, he saw it. in the suburbs well, you and your husband spend time we both try. well, like once a week once every 2 weeks somehow. here you go somewhere. we try to go out to a cafe or go to a cafe there. how do you choose what you will eat for dinner with your spouse. well , to be honest, lately, we're practically choosing the same thing. i thought so too. and what is the probability that you get tired like this today, he says, today we will eat, for example, there is thai food tomorrow vietnamese. well, or there is vietnamese food. well, here's how it's possible. or if you invite your husband to eat some aztec cuisine, then he will say that some sex cuisine has gone crazy, send our favorite teahouse. well, that is, we had attempts a couple of times simpler something new and we came across the fact that, well, it’s not tasty for us, and we realized

that this is our favorite place. our favorite is also not tasty for him. he doesn't like it either. it's just very concentrated inside him in general, in principle, you know, i watch my son. i have uh both kids, but i'm the same myself. until uh, 15 years, i didn't eat anything that was n't cooked by my mom. i didn't go to camps, because of this, i didn’t go to any, but practically didn’t go anywhere. and if i went somewhere, they gave me a bunch of products with me, such as sausages, that’s all there, so that i could somehow live. i have exactly the same children and watching my son grow up, just at this age i discovered a very interesting, but protective reaction that actually exists in all children, but i dedicated it to him, and in this sense it is called nope like this, that is, when something new is not only food, but also in food offered to my little son. he first said no, and then looked, what offers. this is not. and i realized that this is

the protective function of the child from everything new. and this is a very important function, because a child of a certain age explores this world. ah, well, it tastes to the touch, yes, and so on, but at a certain moment the child begins to defend himself against everything new, then with age. this is protection, uh, is developed in an adult and an adult generally tries to live the most stable comfortable life so that nothing new broke in. and if you steal, then under control, yes, it somehow breaks out, and therefore this age, when such protection begins to form in children. and look, you say, we tried tasteless ones, we go to the same cafe, this is strange. i understand you, but this is strange. if you asked me, for example, 15 years ago, i would not only understand you, i would say the right thing to do, but suddenly you will get poisoned in another place. because i haven't eaten anywhere. if i came somewhere abroad, and i came there almost with my relatively speaking, yes, there, i

always ate only what i know how it looks alive or there in the garden and this is how it looks here, but 15 years maybe a little more ago. i set myself such a task that now i will be everything in general, that's all that they give. i will eat everything. the only thing i have failed in my life. and this is where it gets hard. this is tibetan tea that you and your husband have, both of you actually have selective food and why did i ask how you eat? how do you go? what is your dining culture like? yes and so further and unconditionally, the child sees this and he cannot but learn this, because you are raising your so-called child. that is, he impresses your behavior inside himself. in the end, this is his behavior. well, and, accordingly, further it seems to him that this is his personality. right now. his personality, when it only began to take shape, was not even formed yet. it begins to take shape, including this one. uh, protection from your suggestions. this is the formation of his personality, while he is just an individual, but there is another very important moment. uh, i'm going to make the assumption that when

you were coming out of this depression, one of the pillars, thanks to which you came out, was your child, and that was your identification, mom, of course, that i should come out of this depression, because that i'm a mother, because if something happens to her, not what will happen. i will tell you a secret. nothing happened at all. would have cried and would have found a new mother, there i don’t know the stepmother would be like a good fairy tale, it doesn’t matter if it’s bad. yes, but it was the identity that got you out of there. and how she just pulled you out. she hooked you up with your son again. she's just hooked on you. and that's why he plays with you . mom, my leg hurts. feed me. yes, mom, i can’t hold a fork with my hand, feed me, because this is your game with him and you play in this sad one. he loves it and you love it. this is obviously all absolutely right in that it is anxiety. this is yours and your game and he plays along with you. this is its symptom. it's not his problem. he's just playing along. let's try to figure it out.

why such anxiety? tell me please about your childhood, about your family. i have a mom. the brother was the father. well, that means it was when i was seven years old, my parents divorced, and we left. my mother, my mother , my brother and i left. i didn’t have parents who lived together, like what a family was like, while they were together, it’s not like that. you know, it comes to mind that this is my childhood. this is a disturbing childhood. something is happening to you right now because your father raised his hand against your mother. the father understood the hand on his brother. and there were moments when i was scared for the life of my brother and my mother, my father did not raise his hand to me, but it was all before my eyes. this happened repeatedly. yes, brother,

a 40-degree frost even ran away from home barefoot. alcohol in particular, yes. and so, at some point, my mother realized that, well, just when a hammer had already flown into her. that he just one day, well, it can happen scary? she brought us together. first, we moved to an apartment with her friend, after some time, the father returned us. found returned knelt asking my mother to return. then all the same everything returned to normal and mom i collected things for him and went to my grandmother to my mother and how to continue together. and then everything was relatively calm, but i just don’t remember that i was like a child, as if there was

something wrong with me. well, that is, i had some fears, as if inside myself later, when i started to grow up, it so happened that my mother was, brother, at that time he divorced, met his fourth wife and also moved to his grandmother. he also drank heavily. danger appeared again danger. i remember very well that i had a fear of coming home from school. i didn't want to go home at school, i was constantly present with some kind of fear, and i can’t stand people intoxicated with alcohol. do you communicate with your father now? at the moment, no, and recently, i will advise, just the same psychologist. uh, she told me that in a good way it would be either how to write a letter , how to father, or in a good way , to find in general where he can talk to him, if possible, i tried

to find him, but i have only one was. the connection is through my cousin. i write to her, she does not answer. uh oh, i don't know how anymore find a father. i don’t even know if he is alive, and how did you cope with this fear, well, as if in yourself i hid the life of your mother or your brother with words. i mean threatened. i don’t remember in words what yours is, well, their life, but there is little current for security well, after all, here is papa yes at home without a hammer, that is, papa poses this threat. ah, that is, you understand, he can cut cuts to kill for souls, yes, that is, such pictures, you somehow imagined yourself sometime. how can you protect them. perhaps you fell asleep there and thought how strong, for example, you would have beaten him. no, that is, that's what i can do there, no. and i curled

up and closed my eyes. i will ask you to think again in this sense, remember, maybe, yes, some fantasies that gave birth to everything, these are girls, how she can save these people close to her to leave. well take them away. how can you, this little girl, how is she? maybe still? ah, cope with this monster forgive it. well, i think that at this moment there is no other way perceived. i remember that my mother told me alena, go and calm dad. and so i went there. talked to him. somehow she stroked him to calm him down. no pills to make him fall asleep, and there was no threat to you. why did mom send you if dad in such a state

never raised his hand to me very much, mom said that she loved me very much, that is, she says that she always has such a picture in front of her eyes, she will iron her shirt there, there i will be dressed, and we went for a walk. and the pope was so proud. here i am i go for a walk with my daughter. i have this fantasy of fear of poisoning. either you were afraid of being poisoned, or somewhere it could somehow sound. and it seemed to me hmm at that moment, just when you were afraid that you might poison the child with detergent. yes, if you imagine that it is like a spasm, this fear arose. well, here you are. yes, and so you said, he suddenly had the idea that if somewhere in the body it would definitely have to spasm. that's where it could spasm in your body fine. direct your attention right now there and try it right here, as if, well,

forces to spasm this part. just notice this spasm and try to tell me what you feel good inside there. i want to rip out. this is the body's defense mechanism. one of the five survival instincts. it's called spitting. it will protect you. when i am very nervous , worried, i feel sick, and this reflex begins in me. and when my child, and does not want to eat something, or he says, i ate. yes, i don’t want it, it starts. here it is do. here i have why i say that my fantasy gives me reason to believe that this is directly related to danger. so, in general, you are, as it were, used to just this danger. well, how to pull out of yourself, yes, and

that means to defend yourself, you imprinted this protection into this child. that is, here you give him a cucumber, let's assume that he does not eat cucumbers. that is, you know, but he is squeamish , he says, he has this squeamishness. it's like she expresses it. and this is the absolute defense of the survival instinct, because now it is important for him to survive. and when you 're angry, and i think you're like me when the child refuses to eat an apple or a strawberry or something to try. yes, at that moment you actually have it with him. here is the same desire, it binds you very much, and at this moment, of course, you cannot do anything, because you, too, are spasmodic. the child is spasmodic. if you don't relax, he won't relax. so far you are connected so strong for another year and a half. yes and this fear of life, which in fact, it took you into depression, because the advent of a child into your life tore it apart, all all the patterns are only

possible, so alena, a free woman, disappeared. yes, this alena mother appeared with all these problems and so on. yes, and at this moment, as if even depression itself, in general. it is very similar to what you have, as if you feel sick all the time, feel sick, your head is spinning and you are trying. and this is the connection you have with the child, but here it would be worth noting a very simple thing. try it with your spouse diversify yours. your food intake. that's just going to other cafes, you know tatyana when we travel, she sometimes eats in places that i don’t have, i wouldn’t go there, i’m afraid, despite the fact that she has food selectivity. but when tanya is hungry, she will eat live cockroaches. if it is necessary, that is, she is not well, and it is actually very ugly. not just a bold stance. and this is how her instinct works, you know, and it’s the other way around for me, as i

told you. yes? that is, at first i denial comes, then i force myself. no, i'll still try once it's all there. and what to try, in the end. i why and suggested that the fear of poisoning? and also the fear of poisoning the child, the fear of being poisoned itself , the fear of being poisoned, the fear of poisoning in general. but why? i assumed you. hmm didn't agree with that fantasy, but the kid might have a fantasy that the only way i can handle a strong man is i can poison him. i do not insist , i suggest just thinking about this topic, because children fantasize children survive their own fantasies. when did he offend you? someone, for example, an older fantasize that you will have a superpower there, i don't know. you can fly, fly, take. there's a treasure trove, whatever. that's why try to diversify yourself. and what about the child? alain here in general, relax. just relax and unconditionally. ah. let

your child get hungry if you try to give him this one until he says. i want to eat and you offer him, for example, do not mock him, like, until you eat brocco, like , you won’t eat, no, quietly, quietly, so that he himself understands what he needs to eat, that is, in fact. don't take food away from him. and you will notice that he is eating, watch him. watch how he will act. but at this point you will be very scared. i assure you. and here i am telling you about it. it’s just with this fear that you just need to work; he also suggested that if you go back a little, that the state that you described, when you were afraid for your brother and for mom. and when you were just a baby and went to bed. so, curled up, you understand that there is some kind of selectivity in relation to you. and it’s as if this, and this is not quite omnipotence, gives the fantasy what

sergei is talking about. but this e still gives some other position. and you can save. yes, they are very scary. and this remaining fear and the remaining ideas about what you can save, she found a way out now in your relationship with the child in this way. and this very often becomes such a psycho-emotional basis in a child. allergies, because allergies that occur in children are often associated with a danger to parents when parents are afraid for the child. and accordingly, they try to secure it, so to speak, because it is not an allergy and selectivity is just protection. that's when you start to live it calmly with this fear. yes, this nausea. here i told you directly. try to catch with a groove. it has a lot of healing energy for both you and the child. that is , the problem is not with the child at all. well, it's just playing along. yes, he's just teasing you. you seem to have transferred this

part of the symptom to him, and it is external, that's all to get rid of. you don’t have to get rid of anything, but learn to live it, learn to do very simple things, for example, as now, in a conscious way, i offered you something real. yes, relax. you can't and when the next time it comes up. you strain even more, right here you hypertrophy, and then let go, it will still remain tense, but slowly strain part of it. you will learn to relax this part and it will pass. well, it's not immediately, of course, you leave. still, you need to focus on yourself, and not on the child. how correctly did sergey say to stop feeding him? in principle, my husband would somehow throw such an idea to me a couple of times, but then, apparently, he succumbed to my anxiety; it was completely new for me. you've just dug into my feelings. now i will practice it super. and you know, try your husband, probably now will be when to watch this program. he

will hate me, but you can try to leave them alone for a couple of days. we had such idea. you will see that men eat differently. it was a podcast triggers, and with you were his leading psychologist, psychotherapist. tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist , psychotherapist sergey on herself and alena from a story about the food selectivity of a child's behavior. hello, my name is dmitry bagh and i invite you to a literary podcast. let them not speak. let them read. today we have an amazing program, because it is dedicated to space, we read in space. we are talking about this, what is space for modern civilization for modern culture. we understand, we always remember what space is for russia what is april 12

to our country, and i'm getting ready for this program. i even thought that our studio is similar to the iss, no, no windows. i learned before the program, that the portholes are watching the earth about it. we'll talk today. i even think that if we all concentrate, then weightlessness will come. but at least from our conversations this flight should come. especially with such wonderful guests who are with me in the studio today - this is oleg viktorovich novitsky pilot of the cosmonauts of russia deputy commander of the cosmonaut detachment three times in space, this is vyacheslav lvovich klimentov, the main custodian, deputy director of the museum of cosmonautics, and this is vasily andreevich vladimirsky book reviewer, connoisseur of accurate fiction, co-founder of the award for the best science fiction work,

the award is called new horizons. hello, the most important thing. it seems to me that e cosmos is something decorated with a root, because the same as that of cosmetics, we are forget. but it is so, despite this. uh, superficial, like the meaning of the word cosmetics. this is a means of decoration among the greeks. chaos was undecorated space, not orderly, dark and incomprehensible, and the cosmos was that which was decorated, ordered , divided into rubrics, and divided into stars into comets into rays, probably, there was some great meaning in this and let's start a conversation, of course. from the cosmonaut, of course, from the legendary oleg novitsky. how did it happen that you became an astronaut and did literature play any role here, maybe scientific fantasy, maybe ivan efremov, maybe

something else and really. from childhood, i was always attracted, probably, by some open spaces, because somewhere up to the eighth grade of high school. for some reason, while living in belarus, i always dreamed of being a seafarer. i read books, in my opinion it was to write, but along the way, makarevich is a powerful two-volume book, like a guy came to the merchant fleet, but nevertheless he reached the captain of a sea voyage. i lived with this thought for quite a long time and only, probably, after the eighth grade, when my cousin brother entered borisogleb. he hid this school, the famous school. yes, i said about the life of cadets in currencies. here in all these kind of childhood dreams. for some reason, i drastically changed my mind about my future profession and decided to become a military pilot and began to prepare intensively. i was a little short of height and stretched out on the horizontal bar. i ran a lot, but there are some restrictions on growth. you have to be tall, you have to be some kind of neuter gender. i don’t remember the standards of the military registration and enlistment office, but i can’t fall short of bottom sticks, that's literally for the season for

the summer. i stretched out very well entered the borisoglerodnoe school. unfortunately, then through the reduction in the nineties. i changed three schools, continued my studies, there, to whom kachinskaya was already finishing his speeches, and then he served first in krasnodar , then borisoglebsk and for a very long time in budyonnovsk, that he was looking for a regiment from his position as a commander , i left for the gagarin academy, he is here in the moscow region and calmly studied promoted your military professional level the air force academy is famous and beautiful, and before the release of the spring, representatives of the cosmonaut training center came to us, gathered the entire flight crew and said that this year a detachment of cosmonauts was being recruited. and you were already in some kind of military rank. don't know. well, as it was enough, maybe it's too early to blame. yes, i was, in my opinion, 32-33 years old. it was a good age to continue a military military career. so when they suggested that willing listeners be selected for this cosmonauts, i,

naturally agreed to write a report on the passage for some reason. i thought that i could naturally put myself next to such great people. how do we like gagarin leonov titov valynov? what a year it was, it was 2006, but to be honest, i must have gone to clear my history, that i made an attempt. i could not put myself on the same level with such people. and just in a month. i passed the selection, and i was recognized as fit. here is the selection of this cosmonauts. nevertheless, they said, thank you beneficial. i say what's next do? maybe i’ll leave my unit to serve further. i went back to budyonnovsk for six months, the assault regiment, and from there, by order of the minister of defense, star city was transferred, document went on, and then you already got to star this legendary place. well, after all, did you read something about space at that time or, uh, it was somewhere off to the side. you were a pilot, yes , literature about military aviation and read a lot of adventure literature. well , tell me, but uh, except for the knowledge of technology, in addition to the physical data of health, but here's another

some mindset. i mean, i didn't make an ideology there, but something was required. as you thought, then it is some kind of representation of the distant. eh, space. you wanted to be a seafarer. well, is it still you, or is it just a technique, and er, no, i think, after all, during the selection. this was also taken into account, because how much a person is motivated. that's it for his profession. yes, what does not just go to become a famous astronaut, to be on the front pages of newspapers. yes, and somewhere the last column is on the first the strip on channel one never happened to me to come a little bit, but nonetheless . i understand that we need to do the same in order to tell our students there to schoolchildren, just people, what we do , because now a little bit of information has been curtailed. guys space -

is it romance or work? everything still somehow works. it's a romantic romantic job, well fine, that is, your dreams come true as a matter of fact. well, essentially. yes. the only thing, perhaps, is when is the number of flights left and how much time is allotted for this? well, three flights. this is not enough. this is not enough. yes , but we have in space, well, almost a year a year in space. today i feel properly next to you, as well as our other guests. thank you very much. well, now my question is to vyacheslav klimenkov vyacheslavlivovich. please tell me, is there some kind of dynamics? yes, that's what happening lately. and with those who come to the museum, what they want to see space occupies, well, a few other places. oleg and i were just talking about this. well, not that every release of the program starts with shots, salute six, how was it? well, what do people want,

what are they interested in when they ask me? well , here we are, uh, we touched the lowering of his apparatus. and you made a remark to us. well what happened? i say nothing and even if i touched it, they still knock, nothing happened. and even thousands of nothing. but there is something like yesterday 2,800 people accepted our museum, and on saturday we had one ticket for one day, and on saturday we had. 3.200 people in the museum, just imagine 3.200 touch, and you need to save. yes, not for a year, not for two to a decade. these are children, these are adults. these are the guests of the capital, they are foreigners, but now it is difficult. but who exactly is this? see? the interest is huge, even not just someone space, i would say astronautics, yes, that is, to people who make devices to people who actually pilot the devices and conduct experiments. in space. very interesting. uh, different family people, a lot of family people. yes, there are a

lot of schoolchildren, a lot of those who came. just come here to relax very small foreigners. and i'll tell you more, while here are some interesting numbers. we are already accepting 10% more than before the pandemic. that is, you have already gone out of business perfectly, but still, what is the museum's setting for some kind of interactive? ecogenic opportunities to join or display relics. i prefer some of these, but i won't say in advance. what do you know, well i guess about what you prefer, because you are a museum man and a museum and an interactive literary museum, of course, so far from speech and relief, which, in general, it is impossible to see anywhere else, we descend the apparatus, we descend the apparatus. we have five of their descent vehicles, we have the legendary belka and strelka, which were proved by the legendary dogs, who later lived 10 years of life and had puppies there , and so on, that life in space is possible in

space, we have a yuryevich gagarin spacesuit , we have a spacesuit in which e technological duplicate, in which alexei arkhipov alexei leonov wanted to go into outer space from the city of kemerovo, where he spent seven years of his life, how it all sounds to us, alexei arkhipovich, that he always liked to tell the same story, uh, when i was 14 years old. i had a choice of who to become and i painted very well, painted pictures, all to be an artist, but also dreamed of being a military pilot, and we met in the family and it turned out that i had a military school four meals a day military school. they gave you uniforms, you learned discipline, and i decided anyway. we decided i became a military pilot has not gone away, great artists and we have a very large collection more that work alexey painting or supervich?