hee very high heat. and now i will quickly read you one of my favorite poems from this particular collection. it is called the sixth sense, beautiful wine in love with us and good bread , that a woman sits in the oven for us, which is given to us at first exhausted to enjoy, but what should we do with a pink dawn above the chilling skies, where is silence and unearthly peace, what should we do? with immortal verses we cannot eat, drink, kiss, the moment runs uncontrollably, and we break our hands, but again we are condemned to go all the way past, like a game boy forgetting his own, he sometimes watches for nine than bathing and nothing, knowing nothing about love everyone huddles with a mysterious desire, like never before in the collapsed horsetails the demon roared from the consciousness i am

a slippery creature, sensing on the shoulders wings that have not yet appeared so century after century. is it soon that the lord under the scalpel of nature and art cries out our spirit, the flesh is exhausted, giving birth to an organ for the sixth sense. here is such a great gumilyov, a collection of the fiery pillar, which is very correct to read, if not literally in antiquarian publications. well, at least in in the same composition as the author intended. so , a literary podcast is on the air, let them talk, let them read. i am dmitry bug talking with the poet , prose writer, playwright dmitry danilov. let's talk about drama, let's talk here , probably, maybe i'm wrong, but still the most e, sounded to this moment of the work this man from podolsk yes, and i'm

here in this such a question. uh, also not provocative, but banal why from podolsk what does this mean specifically, if we talk about ps, a person from podolsk podolsk appeared there, uh, it could happen by chance be any other, the city of podolsk, uh, i just know podolsk well, because i lived there for some time not in podolsk itself . airport before that, yes. and this, by the way, would also be this. the residents also call kova . in general, they call him a bykovka, well, officially, but they are bykova. well, they lived there with my wife. for some time, they simply returned to moscow, so i often visited podolsk , where my close friend lived. unfortunately, who died a few years ago is a very good musician.

i often visited him in podolsk, i just visited him a lot of times, i know him well, so i somehow naturally chose podolsk if i knew better, lyubertsy and i would choose lyubertsy in the fact that it is podolsk that nothing has been deciphered , especially could be any other. but this is not kashira and metal is there, well, after all, yes, well , distant cities, there are already a little there. hmm , they have a different mechanism for the relationship with the center with moscow, at least simply, because from them very long drive. here from podolsk there to go an hour train to the kursk station stretches. what is this nosphere like? here dokashira is no longer holding out. i have also been there many times, a and b in bulk. well, many times it was manifested to me by the beginning of dead souls. remember how there are two men arguing. this is the wheel of proof. no, it won't reach kashira. yes, it is important that it is somewhere close to moscow, that it is a suburb and this person has the same surname as the passage where it was recently noticed that his surname is. and by the way,

frolov frolov yes, is this really news to you, that i didn’t see it right away and remembered, really. yes, you know too, it's just taken from the ceiling, when for a long time i also had some frool stepanovich in my early stories. that is, is it possible to say that this is such a great work of dmitry danil well, what? yes, i just like it for some reason. it's just some kind of creating some kind of common bridges between different texts. this is not something that needs to be unraveled somehow. do you understand? what's the score? what does that mean nothing? well, here it is, really. i have many characters and nikolai stepanovich, moreover, i have one text where there are three characters whose name is stepanych, this is ps seryozha is very stupid. well, it doesn’t mean anything that it’s not important, that is, they could have called all three of them pyotr sergeevich, probably, they couldn’t and

it’s impossible to imagine that one petrovich , yes, yes, because it’s not spanish. this. well, just, well, this is such a thing in one program, there was such a thing when the presenters spoke, as if behind the scenes, a replica. art i'll say behind the scenes. danilov does not hear me, but still, uh, it still means something, of course, no matter how much he spoke and once andrei tarkovsky gave an interview about the stalker uh, answering a question. what is the symbolism of the dog? he replied that i should be disappointed in you by the dog stalker, which means the dog said, he is about the same conversation we have with you and he is terribly important. and what kind of person is already in a person in podolsk , this same frolov, there is some kind of absurd interrogation going on, and how he himself is this hero, hmm panov

or he doesn’t perceive himself in a new way, that this situation is worse for him , because hello to roman sasha in the sense that, well, life is changing and changing, it’s not his fault. well , with him on the other hand nothing special and they don’t do it there, they don’t sentence him to anything. well, what they have in common is that they feel themselves to be objects and both things are an object on which something is produced. uh-huh in one case, this is the future of the death penalty, and it really is. he is her object, well, in the future, but unknown, and in the case of a person from podolsk - he is the object of some strange interrogation. he doesn't understand. how what interrogation and for what purpose? tell me, after all, my e, pretentious soul, e, is hungry. e, we will use how to say e

after all, but who fusses? what amazes me is that there is no subject. yes, no one says that they are the law you. well, there are jailers in the novel, they say no. everything is fine. wonderful. here, get comfortable. great, but you can’t go beyond this fence? no, you can walk, please, but you can’t close the alcohol for me, please order. what about changing? who is the subject. and that the subject there is really such a subject dissolved, the subject, this is some kind of reality, which is so mechanistic and technology. he takes out literally computer programs. here, so that there was no one who could take responsibility, that here he was, he sentenced a person to death. here the world is going to the fact that this will not happen at all. yes, there will be no subjective authority. sorry dear. yes, someone else figured it out. eh, this is the order of things and in fact some subject. it's worth it anyway. but i would like to do it. it is in this book

that it is as dissolved as possible. here, when just like that, just such an order with a capital letter p- was invented. well, yes, here he is. his people so, how collectively so accepted. they are cool separately not someone said it would be so. and somehow he uh wove this order out of thin air, if something sensible becomes diabolical, but roughly speaking, uh , you can say, so uh, that there is a tracking system, but if a person takes a picture there from the wall in the gallery. is it bad that he is discovered after 40 minutes, of course, it's a good crime, as if, well, the person who committed the crime was discovered. it's good if it's bad that his yes, the next step leads to a world where everyone is connected to a certain matrix. and there, once again, dmitry danilov or dmitry bug wanted to steal 5 kopecks. some kind of red light at the neighbor’s lights up and, uh

, some measure is taken beforehand, because the most terrible prejudice is a sin according to the theory of inducement, as we know from dostoevsky from the gospel that is, this is a world that is tuned to justice and truth, but the way out. terrible manipulation and the absence of any subject. yes, somehow this time we more or less coincided in the novel. e. sasha hello. there are such wonderful scenes in there, what if it gets staged. i freely retell, then the director there or the screenwriter will decide here if there is a love scene here or not, between the characters, well, that is, after all , if there is something in them, if i ask for some way out, i, breasts or all well, some kind of technological dead end all over the world. how can it be, or are you not

thinking about it? i'm just describing podolsk mytishchi well, i'm talking about it, of course, labor day. of course, i think about it, but uh, to be honest, i try not to think about it very much, because uh, i don't think duma is about that. all the same, it won’t lead to anything worthwhile saving, as it were. but to bring something bad. maybe that's why it's impossible not to think about it, but it's important not to get carried away by these thoughts and not think that you are straight you come up with something very strongly , most likely, it will remain some kind of sluggish reflections, dear viewers. i will tell you behind danilov's back again that sometimes i lose the idea of ​​who is interviewing whom, it seems to me that it is danil who is being told. yes, you 're wasting your time. you're pestering me in vain, in fact, i said everything in advance. so it turns out, the more interesting, the more interesting it is to read books. e, dmitry danilov e. here. i read you the beginning of a poem called the human curse i don't know

whether you like the choice, but i love these verses because they are free from political innuendo. here are the synchronous allusions to time in the zeitgeist poem called how i said the human curse it begins. so i am right now . he knocked over a glass of whiskey on his desk on his desk. i just somehow took it awkwardly and knocked it over; it had never happened before; there had never been such a glass for whiskey, straight, heavy, stable. it would seem that he should not tip over. and that's before he capsized run now with rags wipe. this is everything, uh, poured out, whiskey, flooded, many things, many surfaces and that's it. now it needs to dry. in general , garbage is some kind of nonsense, as it is now customary to say, well, just think, i rubbed some surfaces and everything became normal, everything became fine. no, it didn't. everything is fine. no, it didn't. everything is fine. it’s not normal and not good when

a glass of whiskey or another glass or object falls out of a person’s hand just like that. i'm already on my own, in my opinion, these are the ones that can serve as quintessence. what you write because it happened. seems like some bullshit. as you say, but in fact it is equivalent to a world catastrophe. yes, yes, and you can remain yourself in this world of global catastrophe. you can be such a calm person with a scarf elegantly, or you need to be horrified and say that the world is collapsing and the battlefield of the hearts of people, the devil is fighting with the lord , you still need to remain calm. well , it seems to me that we should generally try to keep a clear head, but try. well, sometimes it's really hard. i think, that here in these even some small ones.

our mistakes, that is, probably tragic, well, it seems to me that in general the great tragedy of human life lies in the fact that a person who has an image and likeness, god , can, for example, untie a cord, this is a finished poem. i think that the biggest tragedy is that a person who has the image and likeness of god can become untied. this is the beginning of not getting into the trouser leg in any way jumping. that's like a fool with these pants get hit or behold, well something like that or stumbled in the street. and then fall. it's terribly already serving in fact, because now the samples will fit god's must not get his foot in his pants. he should get there right away , everything should work out, if he is a model likeness, god, but, unfortunately, this is the corruption of the world. for me, it is very clearly

manifested in the little things here. here i am about this sad. i thought about it a lot . in the old days, there were composters where you had to punch coupons. well or so or so, yes? and you'll never get a ticket there. here and here, too, that you do not get. uh, uh, either you don’t get into a happy family and into love or you don’t get into the lord with your foot. this connection of the very dishonest and the world still betrays in dmitry danilov in my opinion. i'm turning you thing for research. excuse me, but the e russian writer still gives you as an object for research, who disguises himself as an e indifferent painter, surrounding composters, e, trifles of overturned glasses and encourages us to think, e, about the main thing. i uh i often remember hmm franz kafka's phrase from

one of the parables, and there it is very briefly said to stay awake, someone must stay awake , someone must, despite the fact that everything is just the way it is. just don't teach. do not give recipes do not punish stay awake. someone has to keep a sound mind. i think you are one of those awake writers and thinkers, and i thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to our tip. thank you very much. thank you. i remind you that we had another episode of the podcast. uh, let say, let them read. i dmitry bak talked with prose writer poet playwright dmitry danilov.

hello this is a podcast triggers and its presenters tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist psychotherapist and psychologist psychotherapist sergey on herself, and our guest lyudmila hello. hello lyudmila tell us what did you come to us with? and the fact is that i am not satisfied with the way i live a lot of people. now publicly earn money. and while i was on maternity leave. i have a child. i was also in the info business. something even worked out for me, but i just can’t accept the fact that those people with whom we, for example, began to study together. they, as if everything lined up more cool financially, i don’t have, and moreover, the results that i did, and they weren’t bad either, but i still depreciated them and against this background, i somehow drooped and went to work at nine and i have a good job. what are we doing now? i am in the banking sector, i work,

but if you imagine that i will be there all my life, i am very frustrating. i want a rich good life, they are average and from this i am straight. well, i can not accept the fact that i will live my whole life. this is how i live now, although i live normally and against this background , some kind of swing constantly occurs to me from time to time, that i don’t like this street on which i live, i don’t like that i don’t rest, there are five times a year, like i want. that is, like, i'm trying to agree with you to say that well, i'll see if you have a good job there. you have a car there. you have something, but in general, whether it can be because of this informational noise, that someone is always more successful than them, someone richer is cooler. you look, but i get to look and compare this comparison. it is also uncomfortable for me, because all the results that i had. i just erase them like this to zero due to the fact that someone has better results. i am brains. i understand that

there will always be a person who will be better , more efficient, richer, more beautiful, younger, but at the level of emotions. i can't accept the fact that, well, that i live the way i do. and at the level of emotions, you mean envy, yes, perhaps envy, it happens, resentment, resentment at myself, resentment that i couldn’t do what they could do, and at some point i broke down. well, i had a two-year-old child at the time. i was on maternity leave. i just couldn’t rationally allocate time, and then i even blamed myself that , firstly, i couldn’t cope as a mother, it turns out that the child didn’t have enough attention at some points and, like a professional, also couldn’t cope, because i couldn’t just build the right time and resource, first of all, it is the resource, and now even i now she's back to her new training. and to be honest, i'm very scared, because i'm afraid that i won't have enough resources of my own.

that is, i have such a childish interest that i need something that i see opportunities in this, that thanks to this, maybe now it will work out. yes, in a different environment with others there is a mentor, so to speak, but scary. what can i psychologically do not bring it out again? i mean, i got some fear. that is, i start training , i go through, there are literally three classes and then i have a fear that i won’t be able to do everything, as if some kind of defensive reaction. as i understand it, there have already been many of these trainings. yes, that's what you smiled when they said that you fit into the next training why the next one, because there were them. e turns out, probably, the fourth or fifth, but in one of the trainings. there was a two-year program. and you can constantly study there, and there i had a lot of attempts. i thought that it would definitely work out there, but literally there was some third fourth lesson and that's it. i'm just blown away. i have first there is motivation, and then i start to see what others do. they have already done what i would like and all this. well, i

haven't taken it now, so i can't. you say that you would like to live a rich life, shove life, 5-6 times a year there, i don’t know, live on another street, and so on. and at the same time, it seems to you that the way to this wealth is the security of the infobusiness, or because only it is known to you. maybe because he is known to me and there are real examples in the circle where people really didn’t have what now they have and they succeeded, most likely because of this. yes, that is, if, maybe i tried to build steamships there, and there were such people in the environment. maybe i went to build steamboats. well, well, and it seems to you that this is the path that you know. he is reliable. you see, positive examples are not that he is still interesting to me, that is, how many times i tried to quit, but i can’t quit with this, moreover, such a gambling addiction. well, that is, the entire information business is built on the fact that you should never feel satisfied with everything.

time will offer new slot machines, in which the bonus will definitely be better than the previous one and people. so before they switched from slot machines to other slot machines. now there is an infobusiness. built on this. it is built on our greed, yes, and accordingly. so do not have time. therefore, when we break in there, so to speak, we want more money. and of course we are afraid that we will not have time. there. well, and so on, how this business works. it's all here, obviously. and it causes exactly the same addiction as gambling addiction. and what you're talking about so to speak confirms. uh, my idea, but come on. i want to come back. that's what you encounter with envy, which you sometimes identify as resentment against yourself is also good. at what point did this impostor come to you. what was it about? it was also in business that you sold something there, you probably know when, when i myself became an expert, i never was a producer, when i became an expert. i had marathons. it's nothing photoposing. you taught people to pose for photos , so you earned some money on this and suddenly

realized that you don’t know anything, that yes, what am i showing them here, in general, some kind of nonsense. although they had good reviews, girls, there really were good examples that here before after uh, i stopped doing it. it seemed to me that well, it's so banal. well, what am i going to give there, that is, it began to seem to me? why am i nothing, as if i sell air like this is the info business, that is, you sell information about which a person can emphasize from books on the internet, from anywhere? okay, what's the problem with being beautiful packing, right? why did he become ashamed to sell air? question well, first of all , probably because i hmm again compared myself to others and felt less expert. i asked myself. why am i giving this to people? i find it very difficult for you. how to say understand in this sense to share your concerns with you, because i don’t understand anything about photo posing at all

and for the first time i heard that this can be taught. it seemed to me. here, when she is imprisoned conditionally, sit down so sit down so, i sat down. yes conditionally so i sit better so i sit worse so camera. this is a working cell, this is a working one. and you have a whole science there, only where a woman feels herself in front of you. there was even more than a photo. there are some practices about how to accept yourself, how to feel loved, because the camera reads all this, we will finish it. you will teach me so, yes, well, so you know it all. i went to modeling school. so you know that, right? uh-huh. and i went there quite late at the age of 29, a brave dream will come true. uh-huh i how do other girls pose? i watched how model. that is, i drew on knowledge from various sources. i had some shootings, and later on there i realized my dream of walking on the catwalk there, too, at the age of 30 and based on it. yes, i showed all this on social networks my way initially,

as well as the fact that i was going to my childhood dream , and in the future people began to ask. oh, tell me how it is here tell me how it is here and they even began to ask themselves. and you do not want to create your own product. and so i created it, and, probably, even later it turned out that this impostor, when i looked at my result, i had a small block. i compared it with natural with millionaires there. and this is what i can give to people there, well, that there are 15 people in the first stream, the numbers are not like that. i burned out, got tired and started to just spread rot on myself, maybe my psyche began to protect me from me in the future, well , i didn’t overload myself like that . yes, yes, the first thread should have been right away. yes, this is true, because we are shown the wrapper, where it is already right away. look here. i immediately sold for millions here. i'm so cool and you can think about it, come on. i will try. and of course , it doesn’t work the first time and motivation

drops very much and you are tired, your emotional burnout arose as a result of the fact that you resisted something and as i hear. at what point did you turn it on? this is the most resistance, because you are doing, yes there, i don't know, maybe depreciating it. it is possible to compare yourself with others. but you started to resist it. that's how much there should be a person on your stream so that you can rest five or six times a year, so that you live on the street you want, how do you imagine it, some numbers just, for example, if you say at the moment it is about photography. well, let's talk commercially now. yes, this niche is sold poorly and at some point. i lost interest in her yet, because, in principle, for me in life. she ceased to be so interesting, that is, i achieved my goal. i learned i became a model. i walked along podium. i have a new chapter. i became interested in something else. i wanted to create something different. yes, i

went there and studied coaching a little, but i wanted to develop in this area, i did free consultations for girls, too, there were good reviews, i burned out again, because the effort. i give people in return, i did not receive anything. well, except for the reviews. yes, i was kind of pleased on the one hand on the other hand. i understand that well, i'm wasting my time, i'm wasting my strength, but in the end, well, how would it be to pay for everything anyway need and so on. i am very interested that at some point you suddenly became ashamed of the fact that you are selling air. and you know, when, uh, there, i don’t know, he introduces me in a circle of men. i am 50 years old, they introduce me to a circle of successful men, someone represents a banker , an oilman there, a gasman, a businessman, and so on a psychologist. well, men at this moment, in the sense of a psychologist, and what else to earn money on this you earn money, and then people start, of course, to joke, well , it’s clear, you hang noodles on people’s ears there,

i don’t know a swindler, well, how would it all be, yes, and it’s obvious that and how it would be, if it hurt me, then i would at some point , respectively, well, probably i would close up and begin to strain, and so on it hurts you clearly, you are giving the choice up in the air. what's the problem? wrong. i understood. yes, this means that it has become uncomfortable internally, we will meet to deal with. i mean, yeah, why didn't i continue? yes, to dial the bezel at this moment , it is obvious that if you had this feeling of shame, then there was a certain break, a split between, respectively, lyudmila, who wants to do it knows how to do it. i studied and spent money on this teaching and another lyudmila who says, no, this is not serious, maybe it’s possible that there were no people from this sphere in my inner circle. and how would. well, we have the same as a standard, the idea of ​​an institute. go by profession, work all your life, not in a factory, maybe i just got used to it because we still go to work, again the two all live somehow and normally. that is, there was no condemnation

from relatives. yes, they did not understand how it happens in your marathon 20,000 women participated, but you were selling the same age. uh-huh that would be a problem, probably not. because, well, you had 20 women with you. naturally. i should have a huge personal brand with a large audience, respectively, if it were, perhaps this would give me some kind of new round of motivation, so i could, i did others. you can call it work. right? i think even the heavy one works in order for him to be, you see, he must overcome his own restrictions. that's the problem. you won't have a big personal brand. if you will be embarrassed by what you are doing, but you know, i am at this time in the banking sector, i work. i am generally banking. how old is 18? yes, there are 13 years. i already and i, in principle, have never degreased even that the bank operates in the sphere. that is, in principle, everything that concerns me, i have a feeling, here

, even that this is no longer about the field of activity, but more that it is about me, and now, and no matter what i supposedly do, it will be devalued at some point . yes, even me i will become a superstar there, i will become an artist there. this is the moment i'll stop talking about it right, well, i 'll show you, and then i'll stop talking about it. it seems to me that they didn’t take place like someone, i don’t know how anyone. you were supposed to take place, but it is obvious that you have inside, as if the fear that you are letting someone down. you know, now i even feel some kind of little girl inside me, which sensations are that she is screaming, yes, yes, so, ask this little girl. who are you bringing with her? who is this little girl wanted to become or should possibly be worth. perhaps she was, probably, by her thirty years already wanted to take place financially, as a person, famous , famous, when she was little she

wanted to be a singer, but it’s not serious, as it were, yes, when we grow up, we said that it's not serious. i don't remember my mother saying that. mom, you could see it on tv. that's why i'm asking. flies. for some reason, you just decided that there is some kind of truth in which being a singer, for example, a frivolous one, not even being a singer, but to want to be a singer you have to do something very meaningful and that's it. what are you doing. it's like here they are very serious. come on, what kind of stories nonsense are you filming yours there? well, something you can do there is not embarrassing for your desires for your dreams. there were no stories yet. but when i was growing up, i had many desires, i wanted a lot to my mother often said, i don’t want them, i want so much, but it seems to me that i sort of worked through this moment, even talked to her. she's like that. listen, i was really wrong, she says, i must want a lot. come on, here, the more the better this moment, because i remember exactly. the mother

of the heir to the throne is also not an empty place in the russian state. is that how you spoke? read such boots strange, we could influence their relationship, never pronounce. i say, it's time to act right great tomorrow after the program time katya dear what? a person with long-term anxiety often hears advice or, for example, thank you for

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this is a ritual murder, and you and i can’t ignore the fact that these are our people anna malar from a television expert changed into a camouflage gauleiter suit in the occupier’s lip, it’s enough just to be the mistress of the minister of defense of ukraine and you are already married to him. her main specialization is an information operation. . and what is the meaning of these information operations is a lie, it all comes and captures and advances and captures endlessly writes posts about it. and where did you promise these most powerful combat-ready divisions why russia breaks them so easily, but they receive money for these divisions and brigades in full from the west, draws beautiful reports for them. she really is not so smart as not to interfere with playing the ministry of defense of ukraine, this is an organized criminal group who is she, this woman through the eyes of a wand, we got to the bottom of the truth witcher, 2033 on pervy this is a podcast triggers and its

leading psychologist, psychotherapist, tatyana krasnovskaya and psychologist are with you and psychotherapist sergey on himself. our guest is lyudmila and we understand the problems of self-realization, how papa treated your ideas, your desires, your dreams. he didn’t delve into my life much, that is, when i went to school there, he knew that i go to what school, what grade i study in, well, to come and talk like that, there, dad is there, that’s it, i don’t have one, that is, in principle, something like that, how children cultivate a sense of security that there is a base. this is what there is a dad with whom you can share and, unfortunately, i don’t have this there, and you are the only daughter in the family. no, i have an older brother, but a lot of dads, in general, how they talk to children and give. that's the feeling of security. hmm, a little doubtful. i doubt it's even close to normal. it could be called that there is a dad who will sit down accordingly.

he will say he will accept what the child will say in his head there, but there he will tell you how to achieve this. i'm beloved, daughter, well, not exactly super-loved how to say, but i know nothing, the girls are such princesses, and they understand that they are all just like my older brother, and, as it were, in some kind of conflict with my brother in that my parents said that here is the first one. there you are pushing and so on rather, i probably even felt myself more, uh, well, not that unloved. but as if it seemed to me that my brother would be acquitted more than i even remember the situation on new year's eve. i ate his candy and was scolded a lot for it. by the way, i don’t know, maybe at that moment it clicked for me that when you take , you get what you want, there will be some kind of punishment for it. and maybe what did you do? your dad worked in electrical networks. well, that is not there was such a serious work, then it turns out that dad, as it were, we can do

it now. and what, the archetypical pope is an example of just a person who works serious work and does not take any bullshit. well , yes, he has. he even worked at the same job all his life. that is , there was no such thing as some kind of search there. mom also works there at a serious job. everything, in general, everything i have there is smart. yeah, actually a lot smarter than me. well, as if from this we have difficulties. yes, yes, but in any case, look, it turns out that the parents are serious normal, what are called people. and here you are, it means that you are posing like that, and you are showing something to someone along the catwalk for some reason , and in general, you want such an easy life. come on, as if it is already obvious there is some kind of rejection, why do i say that you have a condemnation? here is the first non-acceptance. this is the first condemnation, because the very xenophobia that is so widespread among people is not love and fear of everything new. and so, if i now imagine your dad has come. with

i don’t know how to work there, he sits watching, reading a newspaper on tv. i don't know if he eats there. does something else. but imagine, and at that time you are walking around the room, little girl, posing there, walking like on a catwalk, singing in the kremlin, maybe, right now, how it seems to you, how dad relates to this. for some reason, i keep remembering my mother, if i may, i will tell you about my mother. when i was spinning in the mirror, i, well, i really liked to spin in the mirror. i really liked to watch these fashion magazines and my mother said five to me in the mirror today. everything again these magazines. that is, well, it was not acceptance that we were with her already in adulthood. there was a discussion about this literally a year ago. i say, mom, well, how would you get like that. well, honestly, i say. yeah, i didn't accept that you weren't like me . uh-huh i did at the time because, well, she didn't have those interests. and i wanted to turn around. this one is a whole mirror. well, in me it was from somewhere there and yes, it was not encouraged. well , look. it’s just that you grew up in a culture that is categorically did not accept all this, gloss, even

now i know how i am. even my mom won't like it. that's how she'll say now that you're too much you're too from the cover here recently. i sent some pictures. she says i don't like the way you make lips in the photo. and i think i taught photo posing there, my mother says that she doesn’t like it. maybe, yes, maybe i don't have enough approval from my parents. no, look at parental approval. you know everything very well here. uh, how would the problem, you have to look in the fact that inside you already have such a parent, and which just the same and turns on this fatigue, turns on this resistance. you evaluate yourself in terms of the fact that you, in principle, are doing something, what is shameful, well, or uh, unacceptable to your family, the word is unacceptable on the one hand. it is not very difficult and not very scary, but on the other hand. she’s just terrible, they won’t accept me if she’s like that and then i want to, that i want to immediately earn 300 million. on this, to come and say, you see, that’s all this time wrong, and i made 300 million. and then it's like you buy yourself a right.