native

yes, not very much. i think we'll figure it out on the way. oscar

and why do you want to work anyone dreams of a job like this sir, that's how it all started junior porter internship under strict supervision. many important guests came to grants budapest solely for him, at the same time i met agatha. i bequeath the picture of a boy with an apple, that it 's me dear, if you even touched my mom with your finger, i sleep like friends.

hello this is a podcast of the psyche, where we continue with the candidate of psychological sciences, clinical psychologist mikhail khors disassemble and reassemble the mosaic of human destinies. well, as we can, we improve it , we make the world more beautiful, calmer, your friends for joy. our today's heroine came to

us with such a request. she has a daughter and a younger son. she adores her youngest son. but her daughter's relationship is not going well. she is annoyed with her daughter and, of course, she does not like this situation very much. anastasia bakunina will tell us her story. hello anastasia, hello, you stated the correctness. yes, there is such a problem, there is a daughter. yes i have two children eldest daughter. she is almost 10 years old and his son is 4 years old. a and c. in general, here with the advent of a son. yes, i really felt the contrast in the relationship with my daughter and son. if you have a relationship with your son, well, such a bridge, yes, you want to kiss him there, caress him , hug him, yes, then with your daughter. hmm, there is one. well, what about aggression? yes, as if i break down on her, no, mutual understanding in

relations with her. yes. in general, here is the contrast, it is very directly felt, this topic really worries me, because i would like there to be harmony mutual understanding with themselves by their children. so i would like to find out the reason why this is happening, and it immediately began when your boy was born, and you know, yes, the first six months, as soon as the son appeared. yes, there was jealousy that i pay more attention to the child, everything for him. she then just went to first grade and really paid all the attention to the baby. well, no, of course, uh, of course, for me, always both children, like, i love them both. the little one just needed more attention. yes, well, i think to tell don't need about it. yes, that is, but it seemed to her that i paid more attention, that as if she directly told me so, you love him more. despite the fact that before the relationship with her daughter was good. yes, but ah, there was such a moment that, and when she was just born, when she was also the same age, somewhere from

six months to somewhere up to three years. and i broke up with my ex-husband. yes, her dad, yes, with her dad, a and e happened. so i had to raise my daughter alone. that is, i was both mom and dad, and two in one. that is to me i had to deal with education and earn money somehow to arrange my life. so i spent a lot of time directly. well, how to make money, but who was the girl with who helped you help me? my mom well done grandma was there. yes, my mother was there, she helped me a lot, despite the fact that our relationship was not good then, just like it seems to me now, yes, there is something to compare, what a daughter turns out. here in this e age up to 3 years. i paid less attention than. i now, uh, as i analyze, i give to my son, and, in general, the problem is such that i break out of my aggression on her. can you describe this situation in which you break down

and you, here, are especially ashamed that happened. well, either you are worried, so about it directly. give us ancestors, of course, there are such situations. well, here, for example, it annoys me that she, for example, scatters things there and does not clean up after herself , they annoy me that she does not obey me. why am i from the word we are not 10 in response. here, ah, then yes, she has her own opinion on everything. she rereads with her. in principle, nothing irritates you when the child does not clean. thing, i think it goes. and i even observe this from my mother, because my mother has a priority that there should be cleanliness, that is , it is important for her to quarrel , quarrel with everyone, but the main thing is to be clean. and now you said, yes, and i caught myself thinking that when my mother is not around, sometimes it is accepted that i don’t care whether the thing is scattered or not scattered. ah, to

my daughter, maybe this is a desire meet some of the requirements of your mother. well, maybe yes, which means that, most likely, this is a requirement for you to be yourself. good and deserve your mother, then love and encourage your mother is called. yes , here rather, again, i'm a good daughter. i deserve the encouragement of my mother, demanding from my already daughter. yes, this fulfillment of these values ​​that you, uh, your, mom, means, probably, how your irritation manifests itself. still. tell me you don't scream. what are you screaming, i'm screaming, well, there says you are not a ryakha, you are a girl. damn, now i'm remembering this and remembering my childhood, when my mother used to say this to me, what are the most offensive words that you said right now that you hurt yourself, what is dirty? i can call you bold, yes family, and

this is just like that. ah here is anger yes you have this moment. well, you know how hmm it's shallow. i now released aggression, and i forgot everything, and then i walk, i eat very much. after that, it does not always clean everything. well, here's the main one not even how she reacts behavior. how does she react emotionally? how do you think is it a trauma for her? or she is so well-preserved and light, and they called it a pig, and she ran a little, and then, as it were, she went about her business. okay well, you know, mmm, probably, but she even often talks to him now, as if immunity has already developed to this. she says that well, as if, as if not to hear these words. well, like, call me whatever you want. well, so, that is, she, apparently she already has so much armor, but it scares me on the one hand, that it doesn’t even touch her anymore. so this is also a question. and this

not good. it seems to me, and how old is the son, and the son is 4 years old, they have a difference of exactly 6 years, and it happens that it irritates you, for example, with untidy toys. but no, here, that is, he scattered toys or he says, i don’t want to eat or there, and what is he doing? something like that here he is, if it was, she is your daughter, then she would cause irritation, as you understand, and he does the same, and you somehow suddenly feel that you have a situation? well, no, it doesn’t hurt, it’s well, for example, yes, but the question is gadgets. yes. and if the son, for example, looks cartoons, it doesn’t annoy me as soon as my daughter sits on the phone for a long time. it annoys me. i say again on the phone. and you were talking to yourself. why does it infuriate you when your daughter is on the phone? when is the son? no, i didn’t talk, but i have this moment of self-analyses. yes why why so why does it annoy me? oh, well, here she is sitting on

the phone, and it infuriates me, as if he doesn’t want her to do something else. yes, because she’s only on the phone right here anastasia there is a difference. i want my daughter i was doing something else and it annoys me. eh, she's like that, it's not the same thing, unfortunately, most people have an incentive. eh, some kind of signal to change or to influence others is precisely a negative emotion, for example, something annoys me, so i influence this world so that i don’t get annoyed, but it’s possible in another way, it means to separate. yes, their emotions from there their behavior for their reactions and react not because something annoys me. and in order to make this world a better place, in order to take care of your daughter, you understand, yes, this is called their motivation in general, there are two of them in the world of everything globally. pain is motivated. this is

the irritation. this pain is emotional, yes, and this is pain, as if with a whip so fie and a man ran up to do something. yes, mine is, yes, and there is motivation by the goal uh-huh that is, this is the answer to the question. why am i doing something, why, what do i want to improve in this world. uh-huh how i want to be taken care of. and why do i want to take care of my daughter. now, if you keep, uh the question is, why? what for? i forbid her use gadgets, for what, what will it give her? you can explain it better to her too. uh-huh, it's better to go to the goal, and not run away from the pain nastya a. here. tell me, please, your irritation with your daughter is somehow connected with your mood with your successes and failures. uh, in another life. maybe, by the way, in your personal life you live with your father. oh your boy. so you're single mom again? yes

, here are some such troubles at work or fatigue troubles in your personal life. to be honest, yes. i think it's a direct relationship. yes. i think that my such breakdowns are an attack of aggression on my daughter. they are connected exclusively with my inner state. and maybe before that, mikhailelno, most likely. well, ask, you most likely. but the girls are already 10 years old. is it possible for nastya how do you think at some point to sit down with her daughter and talk and say, you know, i'm very tired there or i have such troubles. i'm sorry, i snapped, because i was in such a state of mind or do not need to involve children. here in these experiences the first part your question is inconsistent with the second. and once again you asked, can i sit down to talk? yes, you can, but is it worth it to implicate your children in your experiences, it’s better not to implicate them well, how would you, that is, explain

yourself, and we’ll ask directly, did you ever say that , did you ever say there, daughter forgive and i’m sorry, i’m like this, that means we answer questions right away, but natalya, can you do this? what kind of reaction helps her? and you know, here she is, apparently, now she is growing up, yes, and when such situations occur, and i say, daughter well, you slandered there again and just got out again divorced, a mess at home. she scattered everything there, and she is already coming, mommy, i'm sorry that i did this. i understand that you are tired. well, now she is already very cool. wow, but probably the last maybe a year and a half, i began to talk about the fact that my daughter. i'm sorry i fell for you. it has nothing to do with it, it is connected with my mistake, a small one, yes, that is, you take everything on yourself here. uh huh, anyway. uh, of course, part of what you fell off depends on your fatigue from

your tension there from your events in some other spheres of life, but part of it is still yes, and uh, your behavior. uh-huh that's why i can even assume that she sometimes sleep. greasy does something to get your attention. now it is important, because, perhaps, she lacks positive attention with positive emotions, and then children often agree to attention. well, negative emotions. well , at least you understand the attention, yes, that is, to cause some kind of pain, so that, uh, it means that mom also got off her phone and had a fight. well, even so. i think that most likely, this is how russia not only sent the first man into space, the first dog, the first woman. now we have sent some gamers into space first. everything, this, in general,

is very impressive, the film clearly entered the history of the picture, it just came out on e, the double payback mode. i do not recommend skipping this picture, the next issue of our program is the series spy ah, a picture with sergey bezruk in the title role. this is the first decent intelligence picture taken by us in 30 years. serial operation. neman at some point. eh, it’s just that a frank impression is already being created that the series was made by enemies half an hour before spring, and the casting about the written group was successfully done. the picture shows a suit. volobuev finally got the role, you can say all his life, he plays really cool. in otkast paws tomorrow on the first and always on 1tv.ru. summer with tinkoff mobile is a security service. name the code from sms is

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clinical psychologist psychological everyday difficult and not very situation. love more than a daughter. here. on what grounds did you decide so, in general, it is generally difficult for me to understand, how can love be measured such a substance that cannot be calculated by behavior according to its national state i love. i have them the same way, but the daughter is, as an irritant due to the fact that i used to. yes, but the love of mother and son is one love, love, mother and daughters - this is another love is a very common such everyday household stereotype. a mother loves her son more than her daughter. and ah, those

moreover, if the son is the youngest, by the way, mikhail a , there is some kind of confirmation or explanation for this, that the mother is more attached or may be more loyal to her son, the more warmth there is for him here. see what a story. there are two kinds, love, there is love. e, giving. uh-huh, and love, limiting means, uh, giving love - this is this caring , understanding warm, protecting, gentle, affectionate, forgiving, and so on, i also limit love - this is when we take something from a child out of love for him from caring for him. here you take away a gadget from your daughter. this is clearly a concern. i'm generally clear now ah. here's how it works. a family where there is both mom and dad and son and daughter conditionally. yes, it goes crosswise. uh-huh so from the mother comes e, giving, caring love more to the son less than the daughter.

yeah, it comes from dad, giving, caring love more to his daughter and less to his son, and vice versa, dad is right for his son when he is more demanding, and the daughter’s mother is more respectful when there are both dad and moms and sons , the daughter is a stable construction, you understand, yes , unfortunately, your family or don't know they, to unfortunately, just in fact, your family is not like that, so you said, i was for my daughter, and mom and dad. yes, here it is important that you become for the son, too, and moms and dads. and when you begin to apply more severity to your son. well, a little more than before. than now. you will see that your design will settle down, because i have. well this is my professional, i would just feel. yes, but everything is built in your relationship with your daughter, on the contrary, your relationship with your son

is skewed. you are giving him too much there and on difference. you think i don't give my daughter. no. you tell your son, most likely, it's just brilliant for me to respond like that. now you will generally begin to transmit a little less. here 's this one, but hmm well, my son and a little more include strictness there. and excuse me, after all, if we watch cartoons uncontrollably, yes, you sit not without control, but yes, here you will become a little bit there. well, you have nowhere to go if dad is not involved, e raising a son is to participate. well , just a little. take on this function of strictness to your son, then you will equalize and have you for the difference. it will just be easier for you , you will be about, well, then i have plus or minus the same. tell me the script again. damn , again in her mom and dad to be nast well , listen in different ways life develops, yes , and the opportunity. it will change at some point and god forbid everything will be fine and harmonious, but so far so. do you know what to tell me,

please, you and your daughter are somehow discussing the issues of raising your youngest son. well , for example, you can say and listen please look so that he doesn’t watch cartoons for more than 15 minutes or there, go hands with him wash and clean your teeth. yes, she helps me, but with varying success, of course, but sometimes he is in the mood. she turns on and says something to him, but i noticed that she behaves clearly, as i behave with her. here i am in no way strict with her, and she also speaks to him, why are you so rude with him, that is, i am in a relationship. and when she came to your son like this, i told you, come on, go eat there , sit down, and i have it right, well, it triggers. i say something with him, how rudely you can rinse, and you yourself understand that he has a distinctly dictatorial tone is the way i talk to her. well sometimes, yes. that is, you and your dad have my dad, but he went to another world. here but i have a very strong love with

him, a very strong connection. hmm, my young dad, 42 years old, died with me when i was 17 years old . i still haven't lived. i always have such a thrill of excitement when a comes in here. well, your family history. she naturally responds here. he loved me very much, but at the same time he was cruel to me in what way. i'm just analyzing right now. i am raising my daughter the same way my dad loved me raised me, carrot and stick. i was a very obnoxious child. i constantly crossed. that's how my daughter is. only it seems to me that the daughter is just my copy of only my dad. well, how would he love me very much. yes, but he couldn't resist. so he couldn't handle it. yes, with some

kind of my behavior there, he could hit me with a belt on the pope there with a slipper, that is, he could yell at me, but at the same time i was from him i felt love, mother, cold. she was so indifferent, but i understand that, well, sort of. i now behave exactly the same with my daughter, of course, look how interesting, yes. you, well, i can have moments when i could slap her on the pope there, too, i could grab. well , somehow, something like this. well, roughly simple, well, yes, it turns out you are in a relationship, you are in a relationship with your daughter. deny yourself. yes , you probably have achieved some achievements in life. tell us what achievements you have in life, yes, an achievement, but in principle, as a woman, yes, that is, i am a mother two wonderful people, yes, and in some career ones. yes, i am developing successfully there in several directions. you

provide security children yourself. yes, this is already enough. and now please answer the question, these achievements of your life would be possible, if you were a good boy in everything always with this world, agreed and never contradicted him. that 's probably it, because i have these qualities, and there, despite all some difficulties. yes, there with two children, and there i develop and achieve. say thanks to these quality, and you still deny them and think that they are bad. you are who you are, you survived, you tie this world into a knot and make it the way you want , you have enough energy for this power, thanks to your insufferability, and a list of it to this world and perhaps even the fact that you also does not touch when you are criticized by your dad so, well, as it were, maybe through pain, but

tempered. yes. i say it's good to convince, there are no children, but have you been tempered by this? yes, what do you think so far? what is it like this be bad? why is it bad to be like this? explain because dad once said so. well, probably, yes, i just put it off like that. is it true that this is bad? no? no, tell the truth such be such be not bad not bad. say now it's to your daughter. what is her name miroslava miroslava it's not bad to be like that. nastya, i want to ask you something about this? what do you think, if dad were alive now, uh-huh, he would feel how do you feel, looking at how you live, and how do you develop? what kind of children do you have? what is your career? i think he was i was proud, but in more detail. here's what he liked listed. well, he’s not for you

in general, and, probably, he brought up these leadership qualities, some abilities there , to strive for something. yes, but to be, but so active or what? yes, that is. gray mouse, yes, but he himself defends himself. e-e always defended his point of view. and so, probably, in many respects i adopted the model, as it were, the behavior from him. and now the next question. and what are you proud of, but your daughter, what is in it? than burn out transverse think you, but what a fine fellow you are, right? lately i 've been catching myself thinking that this is how i react to aggress, but in principle , well, nothing changes, you have to accept the child. the way she is. this is her other than you are proud of your daughter. i am proud that she has her own opinion that she is an uncomfortable child. and for me it is pride, although it is

a difficulty to some extent, but for the future. i understand that this is a very cool quality, that she is an uncomfortable child. she is very selfish. she is very sociable. i see, that and it is very large-scale, in fact. that's what she is. and talkative in adulthood, this will play into her hands very much. well, then your phrase that you do not have a mutual understanding with your daughter, based on what you just said, it seems to me that this is something of mine. wait, once again your phrase. i wrote it down. i do not have a rapport with my daughter, and is she correct or not? did you just say what are you proud of? that is, how do you understand it? no, it means mutual understanding. well, it is there, say it again understanding. there is once again, you will say mutual understanding. there is less than you fantasized about yourself somewhere, but you fantasized it to yourself that you and your daughter should always have harmony and mutual understanding, and in everything

this is again your phrase. i just added always and in everything they meant it. and is it possible, always and in everything to be able to understand each other. we are you people, we have a feeling that your son is always in harmony with you. yes, but not yet small either. he is still small, that is, never at two, never at 3 years there was no situation that he tired you? annoyed? did you breastfeed him until he was 3 years old? that's how strong love is. that's right, even some kind of merger. it seems to me at some point, but it seems to me that this is exactly what mikhail was talking about, which can be changed a little, so i say that it’s better that i don’t respond directly to what i heard and then it’s easy for him. strength, if it starts now, following your advice, nastya will slightly correct it, yes, that is, everything that was advised, they advised her daughter to leave everything as it is. yes, and so i simplify with my son slightly moderate correctly, but the son will not perceive. it's like mom's cooling down, like the fact that he is doing something wrong, perhaps

he is to blame for something. he will not please. well, we don't know how he'll take it. uh, what is he going to think that he is doing something wrong, but of course it is obvious that resistance from the son is possible. yes. and here are some resentments there. you don’t love me simply, because you have become there, like no more demands to present acts, bad mother, that’s all, yes, that is, it ’s also important to be ready for this here. well here you are say that you advised where to start this time of restriction, so here is the story again. eh, start there all the same gadgets will be healthier, but limit, yes , limit, but internally just be prepared for the fact that he will be offended, that is, learn to speak. no, i just never tell them. no, you understand, but is love always? yes, but for you tell me if if you never tell your son, no, this love for him is a manifestation of your selfishness.

oh, how to build a relationship with my son so that he does not take offense at me. a no, it’s just that i have it on the machine, it seems to work that i don’t want to refuse the forecast in some way. so you don't want to give up. why because offended? because it will cry upset. yes, it will hurt him to see him, how will you feel guilty like that, and guilt is not a pleasant feeling, so see that you don’t limit it like this. this is your concern for yourself, so that you feel comfortable, so that you do not feel this guilt in front of him, but here you are an adult forecast, what will happen to a child at 20 years, if you always bring him up without once saying no to him, that he will sit on his head for 20 minutes. no, nothing good will come of it. i understand that, tell me, well, the forecast. well, he will be absolutely not ready, and

to go out into the society because not everything will be the way he wants. no, you understand? will it seem that they do not like him, that he was simply told no to him somewhere? yes, that's why once again, when we reasonably restrict a child, this is a manifestation of love for him. and you know that now i remembered that my daughter was up to a certain point. but, probably, years up to seven i brought up the word. no, she did not know, i bought all the gifts. but somehow that's all i had the opportunity to do nothing at all, then be surprised that she resists. i limit it. and she's just disgustingly unprepared. yes, education, probably, turns out, but now you are correcting yourself. just do not go to the other extreme, so that there is always no there. yes, when yes is once no, and then a harmonious personality will grow. here, and with the child, well, with the youngest son, well,

now you start to introduce there will be resistance there will also be some kind of crisis in the relationship. just also stand in the right parental position, that there may be crises in my relationship with children. in the world of hundreds, you can't. yota says you can connect 50 gigs and 100 minutes at the lowest price in your region . yota tinkov is three ways to pay for a purchase without losing cashback, you can pay online. can i pay with any phone with a sticker? and just by putting the phone to the terminal. and choose your payment method online with a sticker phone.

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only in 2022 scammers stole 14 billion rubles from russian accounts from tinkov your money is safe. order a tinkov sim card and get the most effective protection against spam and scammers. he is so alone. this is a psychic clue. my name is natalia loseva. i am a journalist, and my co-host psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences mikhail khors, our today's heroine anastasia came to us with such a problem. she can't handle her annoyance towards her eldest daughter. she experiences outbursts of anger or even aggression towards the older child. but with my youngest child, my son. she behaves completely differently mikhail but how to understand? when is it enough to say no? and how to keep this balance, firstly, how to understand that there was an absolute balance? no way? ugu no way and the second? well, if it so happened

, we analyzed the week, there were solid no. so, take a day off when you say, yes, another question is that when we say no hmm yes, is it important to say more? no why not? ugh you say. no enough patience for all your no. give an explanation not always. do not always try yes to explain why not after our meeting, do not demand from yourself that now i always explain why no uh-huh is it possible to use, for example, such an advantage of a similar one, if you need to explain, there is no uncomfortable daughter. how would you project the situation onto the baby? and for example, tell her listen, come on, how the little one is called mansur and at home, what do you call him mansurchik mansurchik. you can say, for example, yaroslav listen , you and i need to somehow explain to the mansurchik that you don’t need to sit in gadgets for more than, uh, 15 minutes, because i don’t know, it worsens there. uh, memory impairs vision. well, some such

find normal arguments. like this it will work that when not in a straight line and miroslav. mom explains limits, and takes her ally. he says, let's explain mansur together. it might work really need to try and see how it goes yes, that is here. uh, daughter. maybe at some point i can also say that i am the mother, i don’t want to. yes , there can be resistance. here. but if she likes being a teacher somewhere. yes, i like it very much. here uh, don't feed, especially with regard to mansour. and you can't tell him what to fix. she's straight and you are copying me. she compensates for your shortcomings, she compensates for hers. well , maybe this, maybe this is not bad at a certain stage. yeah, just make sure she doesn't. that father, yes. uh-huh for your son in this place ask michael to give here. what advice, when nastya meets a man and their family remains

just as complete, and he becomes a stepfather, he wants to be. eh, very much a father to your children. what are the risks here? taking into account such a strong character of the girl, the daughter has a very good relationship with her dad. ah. we live in one city. yes, and they communicate. he spends with her. well, every day is not seen on the weekend finds him. i have no idea at all that it is possible that she will accept someone. and here it was my answer to the question natalya yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no no no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no she aspires to the fact that your chosen one will be. uh, there's a good stepfather. eh, will be there to build relationships. just take a man who will not necessarily be there to lisp about with your children about them having children, dad, yes, if no one replaces them. well, yes, that's why my personal life, this is my relationship, as if it were necessary, that is, very sensibly. oh

well, let's, then some of our final advice michael parting words to our heroine. yes, it will bake a little more. yeah , it annoyed you when she contradicted you. not because she contradicted you, but because it seemed to you that she did not respect you. yes? this is perfect, that is, now it is important. uh-huh , most likely in other areas of life, when they show disrespect to you. here you shove, for example, so yes, here, and do not get into people's heads. you don't know respect, they don't respect as far as try to build relationships. here with their external behavior and not to guess. how important they think you are, because respect comes from the word importance. yes , in general. allow other people not to consider you important. you need from these people that they work and earn money for you, you need from your daughter that she be healthy, there, that

's all. let whatever happens in their head. the main thing is that she was healthy there, yeah. so, as he grows up he becomes smarter, there you will build more, which means mutually, like an understanding relationship. yes, that is , this is the internal permission to not respect you leads to the fact that you do not care, well, they respect well, they do not respect. this also happens normally. and you become more efficient. we are not for everyone, everything is not for us, and we are not for everyone. yes, yes, this is entrepreneurial efficiency, and it grows when we stop demanding respect from people and start building relationships with them. here, well, with such as they are. uh-huh well, what was very useful to you , i had so many insights, so many realizations, yes i caught responds directly to me. well then, in two phrases, to catch it again, i caught that you need to change a little bit your attitude towards your son, that is, you can take it, you can change it again, so the plan. now i will come. changed

your relationship with your daughter. all is well, not all. well, as if they were normal. it's just that they are like that, and yes, as in a relationship, maybe something like you want something differently. it's okay. yes and uh, what is it that has not yet responded? what are you from my childhood? yes? yes , about the relationship with dad. what was dad proud of? it happens? yes? yes, yes, and what, and the granddaughter was what, perhaps? i'm probably trying to earn it. that's it mom's attention is love and there is no fence, but for mom's approval through communication with her daughter, when, for example, there, but they scold them for scattered things. yes, it seems like this. well, remember that since you are raising children alone, then the role. dads also sometimes wear norms on themselves. yes, well, this is just the legal relationship to the son. what to say no? to bring up just like a man, or what? how can your son get a dad, maybe, like a daughter , she has the right, by the way, she shows it to him.

yes, children can be offended by us, it does not matter. yes, i think you will be fine. hmm, it won't. don't count on it. well, just when not everything is great. this is also good. this is life, you know, when we say that everything will be fine or everything will be fine. this is the absolute or generalization. in fact, it means that you pay less attention to certain moods. yeah, for some difficulties, without which there is, of course, no movement forward, but you perceive and see more, yes you see with your eye and heart, what happened is what is good in general, here is a feeling of happiness and joy. she's uh, so very complicated. yes, emotion is a substance. it is possible only when there is a contrast to understand that i am happy today. yes, at this moment, at this second, you need to understand that before that it was somehow different. if we are all the time permanent happiness. you suddenly wouldn't be this one. the acuity of experiencing joy, well, that's why you shouldn't tune in to the fact that everything will be.