hello dear viewers jokes podcasts will again give you a good mood. sit down, you can fit comfortably. you can listen while standing today, as always with you, i am vadim galygin and attention. natalya medvedeva will try no less than me today to make sure that you spend the time allotted to us in this laboratory in a good mood and, of course, as always, we will tell jokes. by the way,

right away and let's start walking the elephant is such a good paddle across the clearing. oh, stand times stopped. there is no one. distribution to stand. i tell you again looks no one. and suddenly he notices a small ant on a stump, an elephant looks at him and wants to say something, he takes off his pants. this is not a dirty joke. the elephant takes off his pants, the ant ran for a long time, then back and forth, back and forth. all break. these were not mine, mine with pockets. i specifically tuned in to the fact that i will tell all sorts of nonsense, you will laugh, and people will laugh at you. here she is on a walker today, friends. come on, it's like we're playing cities. i mean, it 's over. now i can either

about an ant, or about an elephant you know a joke, there are uh jokes, and they tell them, either about tomatoes, or about worms, or two worms crawl about ants or two tomatoes crawl. let's decide first, who took two worms, well, like, we just caught on that the ants were there, yes, well, like worms, they crawl slowly and the ants still run slowly. well, the meaning is that they are crawling, they see the road ahead, and you have to crawl two e worms, and now they are crawling, crawling the road. there the movement is very active, as it begins to crawl and one speaks to the other. do you think we can make it. this is a children's anecdote, as the only one that i know, very yara was started by friends with natasha, let's start. let's start with your childhood. yes, here you are who told jokes in the yard in the family, dad always told and tell voed, and he is the keeper of the tradition. yes, there were 500,000 books.

they are these they are one joke. i don't know there are 2.000 best jokes jokes for dummies. well, all the best jokes and his distinguishing feature. at first he was a joke, like there, i don’t know, they gathered in a hole, there is a wolf, a bear and a pig. like, like , what am i talking about now, yes, thanks to natalia, any such one we have today is also a life hack. that is, if you really don’t know how to tell jokes, just starting the story in any humorous form. after listing those gathered there, it’s necessary to say, but honestly, yes, honestly, he told, some such hmm vulgar breeze often told, in general, he was just a lover of jokes. and even as a child i understood why i can't remember a joke. well, like also in company, like dad tell. i even started writing down, like, i heard a funny anecdote. i had to write it down

and still didn't remember it. i even tried to teach, natasha is now somewhere in school notebooks at the end, you know, after mathematics, probably written somewhere there. we will now go to natalia's house and try to find friends. while here, for now, this is a flower , this is coming. here is the viewer. there he understands since childhood. listen, i really do. i never tell them, why am i like this? well, i still see a lot of people around me tell funny stories, funny anecdotes. some jokes remind me of this somehow very hard, i don’t know. it seems to me, here, that one of your, say, such strongest trump cards is, well, then that you can play any story at all, right? that is, this is such a role, that is , on the stage, here you can tell jokes that are based on roles, in which you can make faces for something children's anecdote. do you remember when there were two girlfriends, two monkeys in one, right? remember, you are a rain labrador, i can't even remember. yes, here are two

girlfriends two round such. and here they are sitting on a branch. and suddenly it began to rain and 1/2 asks you don’t drip on your lower lip, no. damn, it wasn't like that. for example, i remember what this is about, but i'm not even the end of this joke. i don’t remember, i don’t remember, a happy person. the thing is, uh, i've been telling jokes for almost my entire life. yes, and i would like to clean this cache memory, but all the same, all these mimic jokes. it seems to me that it would be easy for you to remember, but for me, first of all, 38 years old and i am over these years. well, that is, i do not invent that i cannot tell. i'm not saying, believe me, i tried. well, listen, i 'm kind of inadequate, but to whom it may seem so, look, let's then know what we'll talk about. this is that some kind of life situation, when something happened and practically became a joke. here, with you, such uh, there were events

, some ridiculous situations, but they are mostly tough and friends can’t tell them here, what happens to natalya is so ridiculously ridiculous, as if insulting or or that i get into some kind of ridiculous situation that i can like at all, almost offending someone, and then i don’t even understand that something is happening there, and then such a damn as she said or did in some, when i could not be insulting there. for some reason, for some reason, in my memory, i really have a case with me, where there are necessarily some traumatic ones like this, and for me it is somehow seen as fun. i'm scared of jokes. you told everything at school, that is, dad is at home, you told everything. they are my marinochka, my favorite were jokes. i i tried to remember them, because they were, well, insanely funny for me, they were the only one. you know that out of all of these, from this time of grass, little johnny, when it’s interesting, was it the streets, i told you a joke or not, when i fell

, the dump itself, my mother slowed down my head, didn’t catch me. i stayed this is such an anecdote. no , well, it was all sorts of horror stories, there are little things. it's just that when i was at some kind of peak, everyone was talking about these vovochek. there were such stitches, such as bones in a row , stars in a row, the tram moved from you and these are childish horror stories. and how did you stick all sorts of such about medicine a lot of jokes. here you are, let's remember. we chase you through the body. come on it. this is how i put vovochka two for you, which means that school two schoolchildren school topics two. i'm just tomatoes. let's talk about tomatoes in the field. well, just like that, and we managed to do everything about it. this is an ants trilogy, the gingerbread man hung himself, the gingerbread man hung everything. you know this pinocchio drowned. you understand what

these things are. now i understand, but i didn’t, when i said, the bun hung itself, i the anecdote about pinocchio did not automatically pop up only when you told it. i remembered for sure. listen well, all sorts of medical. well, right, women with a child come to the doctor with a small child, they say not to eat anything. child, he looked at the child says, are you breastfeeding or artificially fed. she speaks chest. he says undress. well, she undressed. he kneaded her breasts for a long time, kneaded, kneaded. so so there are so resources, well, you have absolutely no milk. he says, actually, i'm his aunt. well i am i'm glad i came, in short, i somehow have a husband. i say what to do there, uh, like, you know, whether to pull out splinters or wash out the eye or whatever, wait, see. coal i say okay.

and if you were lying on the table, and you had an operation on the scrotum and the doctor had such a chance on google, i’ll look at you normally, it would be such equivalent things again and you were a terrible person who saw me, but the meaning was that it would be like a tantrum if you already know such doctors on the table, when the doctor is now, like, damn it, so i really lay on the table when they sewed me up chin he fucking what happened to the chin? here is the story. that's not a joke at all. this is a whole poem. in short, our favorite kvn and some kind of cup. everything is very pathetic. everything is very cool. and uh, of course, i myself like all this all these falls. i came up with another funny fall for myself, that i glued such a gift to myself, and i’m running paper, and falling on this gift with my head. and here he explodes from there all sorts of sparkles. i did this and it was great. and so i glued, like this , but such a cube. eh, a square, a cube paper is all pasted, like, like gifts, so i run and fall and, as it were

, breaking it with my head and the meaning is such that you beat him. he is like that. well, it’s like he’s pouting slowly and the props agent says, let’s do it for you, what will you do yourself? let us give you this present of yours. i say, well, do it i said for the last time in my life. in short, i run, fall , and it was badly glued, and i enter the wooden floor with my chin , maslyakov jr. is sitting on the stage, everyone is sitting, and i seem to get up, with this gift, i say something there. well you already understand something is not right, something is not right, and i kind of run backstage there. it's just like that, everything, yes, everyone is like that. ah. i understand, i run so fast. uh, just 2 seconds in the bathroom. soon something is a cup , everything is serious to me like this, two powerful women put me down, look in google, no. no, she just takes me for it. that's how we chin and now collects, because there

was such a know, smile such hello, she collects like that. with something to drag and glue and you have this 2 minutes and they kick me out. or maybe the number goes on for me, we just go to the performance. i run out, and with this stuffed with a little thing , i quickly wound a scarf around myself. well, so that suddenly there, which in general wins back, i’m already peeping at me, because i’m already leaking. i'm running away. so they say everything. well, i mean, i won't hold you back now. you need an injury urgently. i understand that i have the performance of two more teams ahead, and i'm there , well, that's it, i'm calling, in short, my brother brings me to injury. immediately 100 m was an injury. everything is convenient not by chance. and they put me there, and he splashed everything like this, this surgeon flooded it. here he takes something. i understand some sort of panic. i don’t know, well, i remember these phrases, when a pancake, well, again they work clumsy to do clumsy work to do, like, but we don’t, and we don’t have thinner needles. well, with such a hook, but what about threads? we finished the law

and now i hear the assistant, the assistant does not have a needle, it's normal. there is no thread, it's normal. he says, well, again he clumsily works to do everything and sews me, in short, here, he sewed me up, it turns out to be sealed or such a clinic thing, 24, as if you know a lanyard, they put such a white one here, i have attached it. here i'll fill everything with iodine for you. i somehow had an orange part of my face and that’s it, and i turn out to resort to kvn and manage to do my homework in this form, but it’s like homework, mm at the end, it was only with a song and i got up, as if in the last rows , too. actually me so far, what attention and when all this ended and everyone turned around and just like, what is it. and i say, i’m already showing everything , i’m turning away showing and no one even understood what happened at all, because i quickly muddied everything myself and expelled, but

this is really a joke. joke we are back in our studio again. this is a podcast of jokes and with you. i'm vadim galygin and natalya nikolaeva, don't be lazy, we continue to tell jokes, friends. yes, he is going. hey man on the way. suddenly he looks near the track. eh, a man with a cow and so, well, like voting slows down. here stops says what you man. does he speak? yes, what does he say to you, listen , throw it up, but to the market, well, to the city. and then, well, in a passenger car, he talks about cows. he says we'll tie her up. that is, she will follow. he says seriously. well, let's have such a tied cow here they all just went 40 go. a man looks into the mirrors, he set up, in short, he runs, but he drowned it 60 times and they watch a cow run, damn it, at

nine eighty. well, 80 is a cow, it's faking from behind, and he's this guy, you say. your cow says, well, he's already got his tongue out. he says which way is he talking to the left? he says, all press to the right now . he will go to overtake. i don't understand, wait. tell me why why should i now explain the joke to everyone in general, but such yes. here is such a story for you. i can not understand them natalia yes, i understand. by the way, this is interesting to us, so we didn’t gather today, in principle, maybe you have some anecdotes that you didn’t understand all your life, but i’ll try. remember which one. listen, well, in fact, it's worse when people laugh and misunderstand the joke. recognize. i'm just checking to see if you understand or not. yes, baba yaga is coming. yes, the benefit

is ready, well, the mermaid looks on the shore. and she says, are you lying around naked here mermaid and says, i'm not naked. she says i'm not naked, this is my erotic costume. well, baba yaga laughed, so she came near the hut, lay down to undress aga goes koschey the deathless looks at baba yaga lies at home. understandable, understandable so that i really

often do not understand jokes. i just remembered it, but look, some things are opening up for you. only today, you know yes, that's why every costume is practically. i knew. i know the last time i couldn't. remember him. i mean, how cool. again you told me. and, if it seems, you know well jokes about animals. do you love, right? well , every time i remember, some kind of bear fox fell into the pit, some kind of pig ban, and there is something funny. they have stronger going friends in the pit. it's just so super tricky. she is trying to deceive everyone there, all strong, foxes play dumb strongly. yes, you know, she did it out there, the wolf is also stupid. well i don't know, that is, i don't i know. what anecdotes would you tell about how the doors got into the pit? yes, they got into a hole, and the bear, wolf, fox, all the predators and the elk sit

for a day, the second week has passed. yes, well, they decide who to eat, well, predators begin among themselves nhs listen, we are here. we are all predators, that is, yes, you are a predator. yes, yes, i am. yes? he, well, it's not we came up with, as it were, it's like that. let's burn it. tell him vasya and elk overheard it all, so they come up and say, elk uh, listen, here's the deal with you. well, listen, well, such is nature, we are all here, as it were, to die. and so we sit and squeeze you out. well , this is our nature, we are predators, you are herbivorous elk, he says, guys. yes, i see how you are suffering. i wanted to too. suggest actually, well, because i see that you have lost weight on your face. it's actually scary to look at. the bear has become like a wolf in general. skinny says.

well, i have one request for you. so i say, yes, yes, which one revived, the same people let them in. yes, he says, when i was little, i was born and got a tattoo on my ass. what is written or drawn there? i don’t know there at all, well, they said that there was some kind of wish for me like here is a happy moose life. they could read there what they say, well, of course, of course, such he says, well, look once the asses turned. they all stop, the elk bounces with two hooves was a bun from the forest immediately to death, then the bear's teeth flew out with two hooves and you say bear without teeth. i say i can't count at all. let's talk about you some more. here is a huge the number of jokes about fishing, for example, that is, well, there is a large layer of passion among people. yes, for example, fishing

is hunting, yes, so a huge number of jokes about hunting are the only ones that go through the stove. i've taught him, and now i would n't hand him over to dust. wait for nobody. it doesn't matter which of them is the main thing, for what i'm sitting, i can't natasha well. he was sitting, so vasily ivanovich was sitting on the rails, he was coming up, petka, he said, move over, of course, yes, imagine, i play along on purpose. i don't know there is a sequel. well, about them were jokes, you know? associated uh, well, again here with the fact that they are here, well , some sing, as you say, was a little

there and not so, right? well, let's say it's a little smarter, ivanovich said, but they had such on puns. remember, as they say, and you say that you will, when, well, like, everything will end and everything will still be in general, that is, the civil war will end there. he says i'm a stove. i'll build a conservatory. he says, oh , how mmm, and i'll put a machine gun on top. why is this a machine gun? well, to canned food steal ivanovich's old transport and sing, but look, i want you to go fishing and hunting, do you have hobbies in general. for example, fishing, fishing, well, this is a joke about worms crawling two people. yes, and i'm not a fisherman's family, although dads. i'm fishing with my brother. they were fishing. well, not directly , it’s not much that he is a hunter and a fisherman and somehow oh , how did dad bring dead hares or

rabbits. i don't know now you'll understand. well , most likely you can see the hares, and the hare was some kind of special breed now. for the game they give us cut off a leg. zaitsev cut off their legs and let us play with them, because they were very soft, you know, and you, like, we took them on a string and hang them around our necks and walked, like, they are such a soft sect, there was some kind of natasha but you don’t know, andrey put his brother on his shelf, and he had such a gray color. well, as you know, here 's the plan. come on, lesnoy, as it were, yes, and i had such a light, well, that’s right, like british cats. here he was so smoky . yes, this is the famous, smoky, because i just play around because they were soft and after a while they hardened and became like stone. well, it

's dead, you see, go for new ones. i remember walking up to my dad. very sad now cost. and by the way, look, let's do it, we're talking about hunting for hunting, we understood everything, my father went to the next house for rabbits, there and so on. there had to. let's talk about fishing. have you ever fished? look. yes , i wait, that you are right like this, as if i were like that oh, i remembered this will never happen, what we remembered i can say. oh, i'm ready. let's prepare a joke, just about your fishing. uh-huh well, please don't judge too harshly. i'm really everything, come on, as it suits you, so that i don't laugh at all or come on, in general, uncle, i would interfere with your yes, yes, he is so courageous, like

fishermen look different. ok then. yes, it ’s like he’s just an experienced rybak, he knows everything, and it means he casts the bait, as he casts it. no, nothing pecking pecking pecking twitches, he undresses. gathered around this hook. whole party i remembered it will turn out a worm

and says. well, well, you knew, well, you tried to laugh. you knew, so the joke is honest, i knew, but how hot it is in the same charm, you know, in general, that is, here, uh, our viewers will agree. you've said great things now. you know , this whole exposition was. well, everything was there, i was there, i now undressed with you and climbed in. hey, we looked too. well, rather with this fisherman , my god, what am i saying, maybe it bothers me to tell jokes, because all the time i saw my dad tell, and he their tells well, really cool funny. listen, well, as if this, it seems to me, is some kind of complex of yours. yes, we will get rid of you and i here today , i don’t know, work in this laboratory,

tirelessly. you reminded me of a joke about fishing, too, uh, cheerful, then a man comes. he throws once a bite from him once hooks and there, well, such a crucian, and he flew off the hook while still in the air, and the peasant had already poured it. you know, there is a glass of 100 g there now. yes, all this thinks something there, drink all that, this crucian flies, and this glass is just there. i was so upset here that he was so small that he ate the bait. yes, he also took a fucked up vodka. yes, and he took this crucian this vodka into the bushes and poured glasses of fish for a second. i'll try the worm. there, the crucian took it and threw it away , fishing just didn’t work out. well, it throws the bait there and then the bite went. these are such bast shoes, that is, different hangouts, he says

, only the tractor is tired , the bait is already running out there. a full fish tank is just there he stuffs his legs, i think, that has never happened before. how much i fish at this place every week there. well, yes, some kind of cool yes, and he hears someone talking. once he looks, and there the fish are sitting in the sadka and among themselves, the crucian shaking up, they pour it out, but the fishermen are probably all in jokes when they are for some kind of fish. well, that is , the main character is walking, and he has some kind of mouse, fish, for some small animals, which, ah. listen to this. it's an anecdote. he and rodnik are like fairy tales, actually it was brilliantly invented, in all epics. all the peoples of the world had an idea that everyone

was talking. i think that was probably the case before. if you take some theories there, you know such, that's because the stone tells him, there he asked the winds or the mouse asks. it's interesting when everyone can talk to themselves, mother, kopechka answers or a mouse, of course, it's fun there. it's funny that these episodes yes voiced, not something like no, no, necessarily. what kind of character are you? yes, constantly. well, you find the characters and he says he is. oh yes it was time, well, it's going to get dark. that's all for today, if , let's say a joke from a hare works in the registry office, they pull hello dear. here, in any case, a ship called a carrot. no. today you told all the jokes where everyone talked with you. like this. well,

that's because it's about animals, well, it's not necessarily some kind, since it's a bear. when does your husband return from a business trip? i remember, that ’s all, i don’t remember further, well, such huge quantities. did you ever come up with the most jokes ever know in our team there was an idea, in general, it’s just x that to put a joke, you know, we had the first experience of queen there in the ninety-third year, something like this was. we acted out how amateur performances are watching us some jokes. well , we added them there. again , there were some kind of artistic straps there. yes, for it to work, but why is it really its hard. you start to put it on, but it becomes not funny, because it's still, uh, that is, jokes. yes, this is such a readable story, that is, people in

finally figured it out. yes, which husband from which business trip? there are jokes in general , that is, uh, which are there, well, let's say, depending on who said, he is so funny, but still most people draw jokes. well, they are not on the street now, they are now reading somewhere, and it is very important and very important that this is here. well, it’s not like this to paint it like that, but he sits so bearded and with his clumsy finger to do something there, that is , books are much needed here, well, leave the very essence of salt then, so that it is readable was here now. i remembered how i read jokes there was a doctor's joke. here comes in . here, wait, a woman comes to laura. something about money, that's where i am. we again

returned to our studio this podcast of jokes with you. i am vadim galygin and natalya medvedeva , we continue to tell jokes friends. so such a joke is a mechanical engineer . i decided to open a medical clinic . 5.000 rub. is there a type, well, no matter how the doctor works and thinks about now i am this charlatan, there is recognition, there opa sits down. this designer mechanic says. what's the problem? he says i've lost my taste. i don't feel anything, i lost the taste. he says, sister says seriously. give us,

please, uh, bag number 22, well, the nurse's assistant brings in. come on, he gives him no, he gives him that time only drinks and pah. that's gasoline. he says, well, congratulations. you again distinguish tastes. well, with you 5,000 this doctor spat, he thought, okay, i’ll come tomorrow, i’ll come the next day and say. he says hello what do you have it says i lost my memory. help he says, just a second sister. bring , please, a bag number 22. wait in it for gasoline, the memory of 25.000 has returned to you again. yes, this is the third day they think. well, everything, now i’ll definitely win back, he comes and says. all this sat in a chair. he says what 's wrong, vision can't see anything. he just says the designer says, well, here i am powerless. here, please, your 10,000 rubles. he says, well, there are only five. congratulations, you are back. vision with you 5.000 a lot

there weren't that many jokes at all. these doctors were about money, there was something about money in general, no matter how plast about money , these machinations, something like that, i don’t remember if you want, i would laugh so much. you are here, i'm right, i'm super. i have a memory for a joke. i don't remember them. sometimes they tell me kvnovskie. which ones are sent to me? you did such a joke with such a number. i'm serious. yes, happy person. i remembered how, in principle, something anecdotal case was. i am a first year student worked as a cleaner. and moreover, i was the chairman of the student council, i graduated from high school with silver medals. i mean, i'm really smart. girl in heels, and worked as a cleaner was the first year, that is me. i used it as a part-time job, and i used this after the institute of the full-time department to quickly soap, and there they were sitting with a secretary who was constantly needed. but no, she seemed to be sitting, but

she was so dumb and everyone was laughing that i constantly put down the mop and ran to help her print, print out, do something, yes, and all such natashas. can you on secretary, at least? i say, i can't. i have studies and that's it. run away. again the floors were washed and everyone was laughing, like, damn it, are you like this? i'm not talking about a secretary here, a girl gets a job as a secretary. and here she is. actually came to uh, yes, the interview and the employer says about you in the resume it says that you, uh, type thousands of characters per minute. you are serious. you really know how. yes? yes, the secretary smiles. only sometimes such crap turns out, such a sweet one, i'm shy. i think that's how you said it still i really like the footnote, the secretary smiles, and he answers her. where rushed where why everything is always noticed, even when you

tell, my dad tells, in general, in principle, everyone who tells jokes about the secretary. and in general for the secretaries. it's always some kind of know, why did you notice? well, no need now. well, it's true, for some reason, if you appear as a secretary , there are different ones, but basically they are gothic. well , as if, as if here he appears to the secretary, and she is there something hee-hee-ha or she is there something hints, and he answers something there. it seems to me we slandered, well, we slander the secretaries. that's what yes, it is necessary to create a society for the protection of the secretary. by the way, this is a very good topic for us. i think it's a very good topic for our next podcast, just a little bit. protection of all the heroes of jokes, let's next time we really try to figure out who is right in a joke situation. and who is to blame? and why why do all secretaries become e victims? uh, exactly, uh, your whisper, you will tell a joke where you

the bear will talk like this, and the fox will talk like this next time with you, that i will stand up for one anecdotal character. yes, the hero is a joke. and you on the other you will be the lawyer of the mouse, and i suppose, accuse, and they voice it like this yes, not you, well, on this optimistic. let's friends. uh, unfortunately our time is up. hmm, it's over to really perform. please stay in a good mood. it was a podcast of jokes. and for you. today they remembered telling funny stories and actually the jokes themselves vadim galygin so far so far yes new meetings?