tv PODKAST 1TV August 19, 2023 12:25am-1:05am MSK
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burger number one magnet dumplings 2199 magnet price, what you need is a free vtb super credit card that's 200 days without interest. go to vtb and everything will work out along the corridor. which corridor along our corridor. and where is he going stirlett silk muller stirlitz now let's fall asleep and sleep for 20 minutes. well, in 20 minutes he would wake up and go to berlin , it was a habit developed over the years, like a habit. watch how stirlitz skillfully gets out of all the troubles, in which the main series of the soviet union gets into what is this scout for 7 years has not seen his wife, and he just looks at her, as they said later, because it's just very interesting to watch. on sunday on the first and always
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, this one met some woman on the street. she says like a familiar face. how are you, where are you from? i'll? where do i say this, well, maybe you can go to the cinema normally at night. i would like to start, you know what, uh, our conversation with you. is there a kind of st. petersburg humor? here you are from st. petersburg, i have never lived in st. petersburg, i have often been, but all these things, yes, which are there, well, let's say some linguistic variety of curbs and curbs, there and so on. and so on, shawarma, shawarma. by the way, by the way, i’ll tell you right away that in st. petersburg they always called shawarma. yes, well, somehow more often in russia they called shawarma, or rather, well, in general, i heard so. i heard only st. petersburg shawarma, but i
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was once in konakovo. it's between st. petersburg and moscow and there at the station in huge letters. well, just above human height with an arrow pointer at the bus station was written shavarma. that is, you know exactly how bologoe, like not there and not there, the guys are on their own there , so as not to quarrel with st. yes, the first right sticks. tell me, if some kind of peculiar plast jokes about st. petersburg well, besides, that's all. well, let's put it this way, i 'll tell you honestly. yes, i'll tell you, honestly, for some reason it seems to me that no. i always thought about this and when we started playing kvn we were told, you guys from st. petersburg you have such a sense of humor. and it always seemed to me that in fact everything was the same, we played with you and lost
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over the centuries. it always seemed to me that if we now, for example, exchanged texts with bsu, yes, it would be nice, we would exchange texts. also would say for example, the same jokes are the same, it seems to me that not. it doesn't matter, of course there are some specially, i like them very much. e about petersburg hmm so there a little spicy, but i'll try to replace you know how intelligent, and in st. petersburg to send a person with three letters. i'm going three letters now. you follow me and overtake me. intelligently in st. petersburg, it seems to me that humor is about the same everywhere anyway, and in st. petersburg it happens that in general, as if it’s not from st. petersburg, i don’t agree with you here, because well, uh, in st. petersburg a huge number of palaces there, er, there are no different ones, there are other cities. yes, everyone has their own story. it’s big there, but there are no such things
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that, well, they can’t come up with jokes about drawbridges somewhere, for example, yes, because they are in st. petersburg, but somewhere they are in, i don’t know, in kolomna there or in yaroslavl there or somewhere else, or i don’t have it there in minsk, but it’s good, if you think that there is no difference, it seems that it’s about the same everywhere and killer jokes and cool thin ones can tell here and in st. petersburg, but it seems to me that this is such an invented story anyway. maybe people even came up with a special idea that, like, oh, there are st. petersburg jokes or not, like, you know, like english humor such a color, like st. petersburg then they drove the difference yes, there is no, i remembered, such an anecdote disappeared to her husband, the wife filed an application. that's it, the police are there, the morgues back and forth, there is waiting for her and a call to her door and two employees, two policemen stand there and say, hello, you are a citizen there , she says something. yes, he says we have bad news for you, good and please.
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what do they say where do they start? well let's go with the bad, damn it, your husband drowned good news what? when we got it, we collected 6 kg of crayfish from it. please, can we leave him again? sorry vadik, you know, i really like short jokes. that's what, in short, it seems to me more concise than a person. here's a joke i really like. whether you know or not, when a veterinarian is a veterinarian, but he gets sick , the doctor comes to the doctor. uh, he looks at me and says what are you complaining about, what hurts pull out? oh no, well, everyone. maybe i. listen, you know how i will answer you. i also love short jokes. i really like when they are really capacious. yes, there are old bearded ones, when
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the women came, she said, it hurts here too. and then he says you are already yawning. he says he put clothes on me like that. yes, there are old bearded ones on my luggage, but i love jokes. well, let's say they can be called antral. yes, somehow, but there is. well, let's say with some dramaturgy, when you don't know what will happen next, but you still love what you you can tell them. sometimes for compliments. i, uh, a very large number and i know our mutual friends who can tell, but there are generally jokes that, well, you read, and they are long for you . yeah. and what's next . i needed an assistant. well, a lot of cases can not cope, and he posted an ad there they are accepted for work, there they come for an interview there, well, that means that no one dared very much, and here the local is so eccentric, such a banter i will go. no yes you, that's totally work
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the district police officer, his assistant, says, why do you look at yourself in the mirror at you and not. i'll go guys, in general, he sits down and the district policeman, do you understand? what a difficult job here you have to think with your head. he says, yes, i understand, well, then , tell me how much one will be and one here is 11. the divisional, like, the answer is wrong, but on the other hand, he is right in his own way. i just asked that not one plus one and one, but 11 something. i have some kind of vein. okay then. say second question. what two are you days of the week begin with n. so the day before yesterday and the day after tomorrow again, he has some kind of logic in his thoughts. so, well then , here's a question for you. who killed alexander pushkin
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, i don’t know, he says, come on, you go home and think. there tomorrow come back here his friends in the pubs are glasses. yes, he says, well, as the interview went just above all expectations, imagine the first day of work, and already assigned the murder case. she touches trouble to you with something, that is, well, unexpectedly, but and then once a end like this. well, opa read the other day , and my daughter says, dad, tell a joke. but you know right away to remember some that you can tell her. i say, yes, we took the newspapers with her, which cannot be initially, that uh , not naf-nafs. they wanted to be an astronaut too, and from long anecdotes, i didn’t
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always like it very much. well, do you remember when anatoly kashpirovsky's session, then the audience is sitting and saying, good evening, dear friends. many of you claim that my sessions are not miraculous, and i do not have magical powers, but in order to prove now that i really healer. i 'll show you right now with an example. come on, please, here, boy, you are here, please, that means on crutches, yes, yes, you, please, get up , let him in, please come out here on crutches, so he goes on stage. what's your name says vova vova and what hurts you? yes? my legs hurt, i can't walk. uh-huh vova get up. behind me behind the screen. i 'll start my session now and you'll be
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fine. vova went behind the screen, so kashpirovsky continues on crutches. well , let's immediately call the young man. well here, please, yes, from the fourth row. yes, please come out. you run out here, which means that the stage is running out for us. okay hi what's your name? he sits up, he says, seryozha and that i can’t get sick with you gala seryozha i understand, stand next to vova behind the screen. i 'll start my session now and you'll be fine. so dear friends 1 2 i will count to ten and you will be completely well, 3-4. do you feel a surge of energy? a surge of strength 5-6 all ailments, all evil spirits come out of you, everything is there in the hall, so yes, seven eight you feel that you are healthy? i'll say 10 and you
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'll be completely well, nine ten. you are completely healthy, vovochka throw out the crutches behind the screen crutches fly. seryozha, come out to the middle of the stage and shout. everything you saw, seryozha, run away. wow, wow, i think i 'm back with a whole piece of plastic. these goals were still such a healer. alan dude, remember, of course, the water in the jar ran and, of course, could not help but appear, but this is a whole era. the fact is that i have, well, when it appeared, that is. furnace town, and i do my homework there, and my mother came to me, what are you doing? i say lessons, what lessons of kashpirovsky quickly drove everyone to watch. we just sat down for you, granny cats, everyone sat down there, just pots, right? well, of course, you must admit, a layer of anecdotes could not help but appear. these are the ones you tell me now. yes, i remember when kashpirovsky and
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chumak argued among themselves. well, who is cooler there? he says, come on, show that you can plague, he says. now i will give the installation. here comes the car now. it just stops and doesn't go any further. and that's it. well, just a driver. jump out will be there to raise the hood and not understand what what is going on in it says. well, come on that time. he waved his arms and drove the jeep sharply sharply straight ahead, recovering to introduce something else there, they didn’t cut off, he hit it, he comes out, he opens the hood, he waves his arms , that he says so, kashpirovsky looked, he says, look, you see on the fifth floor. here is the balcony. there is some kind of rubber lying there, saying, well , now you will come out of there from this balcony, a washing machine. well, look, and here opens. a man in a t-shirt runs out of the balcony. just go tv throws. well down there
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car some kind of smashed tv, he dude is impossible. now the balcony opens for the second time, a man runs out the microwave car here. he says, now now a second. the man concentrates and runs away . he looks around and yells, but no, no, i have washing machines. what is the password here? and it looks like you don't remember the correct answer. if a simple question turns into a quiz. can help lunch lunch helps improving brain function, restoring memory and concentration. naopt, in order for the head to work, get 9% per annum on the balance
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why sit on the internet, if you can surf the internet, lie about it, walk around and even dance in it reliable mobile internet, with such beeline anywhere on your side, my love. and let's deliver free hot food marker, we deliver from cafe restaurants for free. well, friends, we continue to tell jokes and funny stories in the studio as before. i'm vadim galygin and viktor vasiliev, i don't understand exactly why for example, some heroes become heroes, there are no jokes, others are not, even the same cartoon characters, why are there few jokes about leopold? yes, and about mice. and about the same
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cheburashka with gena well, it's just, maybe this is such a hidden pr. maybe the people who drew, well, all the animators. they themselves came up with the pawns, let’s release a cartoon right now and immediately on top of 21 more jokes so that it goes to the people you don’t know about the history of life. i don't know if this story is true or not. they told me how real stories, and before in the soviet union, in order to go to a sanatorium there, the whole family took tests. well, it was necessary to have a certificate from a doctor that he was healthy. as if to go from a sanatorium, everything is reversed there, as it is now. sending what? all my mom dad went through all the doctors there. well, my daughter is 13 years old. means too has passed or has taken place all doctors and the gynecologist has remained. well, he enters the office of the gynecologist’s gynecologist, says, settle down, bye, then everything is on the chair and his hands, then he washes, well , girl, it means that the first time she came to the gynecologist, then the chair, how could it not be there
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understand? and so, it’s like you put your legs in here, and she put her legs in like that and lay down on her stomach and lies. so in a chair with your back up. so, here it is. well, here's the gynecologist's hands. well, where are we flying to bulgaria well, it looks like a t-shirt, but nevertheless very good, of course, here is the story of medicine with veterinarians. in general, everything in the prison was very cool. i like it when you remember, it's when you're in prison, so they're sitting like that. those who have been there for 20-30 years have been like this in a cell. well, a new one enters the camera, gets to look at them all, which means such dreams. a what? why did you sit down? yes, he killed his wife. yeah, not
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married. listen, i remembered your kvn number. you showed, remember accordionists, yes, there? well, in fact, it's quiet, quiet, stop, stop, mekhantullina, she said. why did i remember? i graduated from a music studio in a military town in my ovens and in the button accordion class, and here among our friends it turned out that one of my relatives, straight comrades, who often gather guests, and we got into a conversation with him and his name is andrei and it turned out that he also studied by combat class. he says that's how i played. that's how i played. i i say, well, i didn’t play like that, but nevertheless. i say, i studied there in mongolia. uh, when i moved there for the service
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, we had a freelance there. that is, those who are musicians, that is, it was so interesting. and he says, well, i don’t know if my fingers remember something or not, and for you to understand, he is a very big man, he has a finger there, like my three i don’t know which button accordion he played on reinforced, which means you are some kind of tula plant, and before, by the way, there were tula ones, everything is clear. and it's somehow once again surfaced at his birthday. uh, there uh, our friend plays the piano, and i say them, if you and i are there now, like on the button accordion now, how would we break into this business. and i say, i bought myself by the way. he says, i don't have a fear. i say, listen, come on, well, in order not to invent, you will have a birthday. i'll give you a button accordion cool promised. well, boyan will give everything class. said it started. uh, pandemic, all these lockdown events there. he is from me this is one second birthday. well, as if time had already passed there, and i
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something like this, well, i forgot about this story and suddenly it’s completely unrelated that he will soon have some kind of holiday there. i drive by and shop there, well, i see the name , i see musical instruments, and i just get memories of it and i think i need to buy an accordion andrey because i promised. well, not like a boy should be done. i go into the store and say, tell me, do you have any dupes? he says there is, let's go and i'll show you and we're going, and i have a button accordion for a small orchestra such in the middle, it switches and plays. how uh, cardion, like the harmony of socration, that is, well, so cool, and i think that now there will probably be one like that. well, we approach, and he has one like this, on which i started to play such a green color, then so, well , these three-row buttons are all small but, well , i say, he says all this is no more, and
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there in the store in the musical large the number of people, someone is looking at the violin there, someone is further away they have some kind of vinyl records there, someone there is some kind of obscurantism. there confusing is worth eating people. i i say, well, show it there once and say, you can try. yes, i sat down, so i started playing there, which means some kind of polka, and all these people put maracas there, there are some sites that come up against me, there, like, they look at me and then the bell rings me. eh, my friend says, listen to me. and i say, listen, recognize me, where there are these stores, where there is also a music store. he says you're right there right now, that is, right here, uh, well , there's another music store around the corner somewhere right now. and i i say, please forgive me. i say, i'll go now and look honestly at your competitors. can i write down your phone in the store and tell you how it is and how it is. he says, well, yes, of course, write down the phone and go there
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literally 100 meters. i come and there the choice is hmm the planet is simple. well, it's just colossal, it is much larger than this store and costs the same one to one as i have this one of the same model. eh, and i immediately say, pack. well, that's all. i'm so happy. i'm so happy just that, well, that's it, i'll do my a promise that now i'll come and i think it's necessary, well, it's inconvenient. i must say, well, to the guy who is the seller there in the store, that well, he really found what he was looking for better. i call him, i say, forgive me, please, this is it. well , vadim, i just visited your store. here is the button accordion tulsky watched. i say , you know, i found the option that they wanted turned out to be your competitors, therefore, well , excuse me, but what should i do with people? i say which ones, but they are waiting for you. they thought it was even a concert now
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some will be, why? i really don’t know what to answer, in general, i say there, well, i’ll come up now, i’ll go in to stand people in a semicircle. i say, i'm sorry, here, well, even in front of them, as if i began to make excuses, can you imagine, right? well, i gave it as a gift. in the end, of course, of course, but the conditions that the two of us had something else to take immediately and go together and give a concert. well, in the same, yes, history or anecdote, there is a lot of history, of course, the driver, we will start a lot. for example, a funny story about a funeral. maybe we had. in the sense that there was a team that's why there was such a girl, natasha, her grandmother went to the funeral, grandmother, but the family , which means that she is a brother there, mother was all sitting at home, waiting for her grandmother until she returns, so she returns from the funeral in the evening. and the whole family is just hysterical, and everyone
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just laughs. the fact is that when my grandmother left home, you need to put something on her head. dark, she has poor eyesight in the dark. she mixed up the scarves and accidentally put on her brother’s bandana with skulls and says, “but i thought these were roses, that is, yes, there were these handkerchiefs with skulls and there approached, or stepan and how is it normal for you? everything happens, of course. i really liked the story that garik martirosyan told me. and with this from another opera, generally children's stories. they are very cool, because children are always like that. well, open ones are always sculpted, when garik martirosyan came up, jasminka was still small and says, dad, what is a trick? he says focus. well, look, you see, sweetie. not here, candy. you see, the candy lies. look, i'm closing, you see.
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jasmine look, such a butterfly turns away. he shifts the candy once. well, where's the candy? is she worth it? and where is the butterfly at all, here we are, every time we were in the program, we return to what kind of soil is the most fertile in general for jokes. yes, and they are taken where just out of nowhere earlier somehow this hobby would have been more russian german and the pole is stronger there, yes. yes, yes, i love any topic, you know, like jokes that, well, suddenly begin, in general, such an anecdote just unexpectedly ends unexpectedly, a rich man lived bought. uh, just, well, there is real estate. well, in general, just such an oligarchic, such as just get richer, and he is already tired of everything. well, there was the biggest boat, and he was everywhere there, he traveled around all the mountains.
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gas around the world, well you he just already, well, just doesn't know a lot of money, and he, well, nothing interesting to him. nothing thanks. god forbid , yes. and he is not interested in anything, and he gives the task to his assistants. speaks. find me, please, well, what can amuse me at all, what, well, one assistant comes, he says there is a market in general, that is, such closed amazing things in general. he says, he says the market, but there they deceive me in general, that is, he says, i was deceived all the time. here's to the roundabout. i paid three times dearly for one for the second and thought, because of what they deceived. the third was promised there for free at all stuck on the headstock. that is , they threw everything to me all the time, which is why i'm interested in knowing there, but he says, okay, where is the market. he comes to the market. well , the market goes like this, as usual, and suddenly it goes like this and the hippopotamus is watching five million dollars. well, i thought i made a mistake with the zeros,
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the hippopotamus is probably returning with zeros. he has this and some grandfather is talking with a neighbor in the market. there says, i'm sorry , says it's your hippopotamus. he says yes yes my my how much is he worth 5 million dollars and further with this wait and you can how he can cost a hippopotamus. here is my zoo. well, there are houses. i took it there in general, that is, they brought it from africa there, well, 25,000 there. well, if he says that, then it's not just a hippopotamus. he plays the piano, whatever, who's the hippopotamus plays the piano, says the hippopotamus would be so unique, says you like it, take it or not, all that. he thinks they will divorce me again, in general, it’s very interesting. he says, well, honestly he plays. well tell me honestly. he says, yes, i'm telling you honestly, but this is such a market. well, how is everything here honestly people 5 million dollars and he
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