[000:00:00;00] well, yes, he lived rather with his family there with his mother, moreover, we have bread, but at the end of his life, after the death of his mother, when his mother let go of the freudian story, he married his literary secretary , some beautiful girl. here. eh, do you think his relationships with women are so strange, they are somehow reflected in his prose, how can i tell you? uh, not a romance author at all, no, he’s not a romance author at all, that is, for him it’s more like, these are all women in prose. well, and there in the same aleph, well, this is his beloved. she is already dead to the beginning beatrice yes beatrice of this windburg. that is, in principle, in his stories, women appear as ideas rather, oh, this is very interesting, that is, exactly. this is the dead beloved archetype. this is beatrice with some of her countless lovers, or this is urika, yes, the woman of destiny who

guides the hero through flaxation, that is. it seems to me that all his female characters are not endowed with special emotionality, but they are endowed with power, endowed with power, endowed with function yes are endowed with a temporary one. this is a function , as it were, that is obliged to lead the hero to that point in space time in which borhis wants to see this hero, that is, he never received the nobel prize. very disappointing. i read it. this is very disappointing. yes, 25 times, almost well, a lot of racial groups were nominated and each time he didn’t receive something. yes, i found stamps all the time, but i found them in markets. i love it too. yes, but i like borhis precisely because he gave birth to so many. that is, he seems to be a quiet librarian, you know, quietly, quietly, he he introduced a lot of concepts, then we entered into

pop culture, because i read him. i also see murakami with chronicles behind the water, where people fall into certain, and the corridors and there is a different time, and there is a 1979 novel by christina kracht, where is it? there, people end up in iran during the revolution and are saved in order to end up in some magical time slice of another and do some rituals, eat black food there. and so. in general, this is what a cleaning lady is. he sets some programs, like now. yes, right now i’m reading a completely gigantic novel by alan moore, jerusalem and here is alan moore, do you understand him too? this is exactly, uh, a system of principles of the inside out, the principle of mirrors and the principle of traveling back and forth in time, that is, in essence. jerusalem is a deconstruction of the english family saga, just classic, and family sagas but each chapter takes place in its own time. it's not

linear. from time to time, due to the penetration here into the conventional underbelly of the city of northampton, and characters of the same family from different times have the opportunity to meet each other. and this, of course, this is just borhisianism. here, it is stretched into a book that is called longer than the bible. that is, i would, of course , cut this jerusalem in half, but it’s cool that these four principles of four-dimensional space, where time is the most fascinating thing, and he moore implements it in a very exciting way. i have a question for myself as a linguist. he's actually funny, but there's something about him. well, uh, he somehow entered the life of a russian person. eh, this joke is overkill. what do you think is more overdone? well you linguist, i don’t know who else i should ask, but it seems to me that you may have some answer to this question. for some reason , borkhiz remained in the saltiness of such

a comic language. yes, because, because, in principle, the very name borkhiz in russian evokes some kind of inner isidore of seville with folk etymologies, you know? and this is the root bor, that is , i take it and so on. i really want to continue to etymologize it, that is, there are such unfortunate surnames that are stupid they are called by folk etymologies and with them. you can take five more about them in the linguistic game of ladies. yes? well, of course, of course, that is, the fact that even the author’s surname is fixed in the body of another language in the fabric of another language and begins to spread there, like some beautiful noxious weed of amazing argentinean origin. now it is beginning to sprout, uh, in the fabric of the labyrinth of the russian language already. you see how interesting it is that you and i found what kind of linguistic move, really, something that explains proborhis and his immortality of his mind games. yes he is

immortal because it is constantly repeated in the works of other people, plato's shadows continue to play on the walls of the cave continues to live. yes, the labyrinth continues to live. it endlessly recurses the mirrors endlessly into the office and lives. cool, natasha, thank you for the interesting conversation. i learned a lot and erudite is always interesting to listen to you and it was very interesting. so, as you can see, such a writer as jorgelu and borgis is very unusual. uh, thanks for inviting me. i really like to talk about books and make them feel good. it was under the cash register a must read. i am pustular. my guest was natalya usha, and the musician is a candidate of philological sciences and the lead singer of the mill group, also known as chelovesa. thank you, all episodes of the podcast are a must read. you can find

one tv.ru on the channel one website. school as a stress for parents and children, how to actually cope, how to properly adapt children to first grade? well, moms too, to all classes at once , our today’s expert knows what we are talking about, he is the father of your children, he is a family psychologist ph.d. andrey sberovsky. hello. hello andrey. hello anastasia , congratulations on the beginning of the school year. thank you very much. as i understand it, this is not your first parenting experience; this is not your first time sending you to school. yes, that’s right, i have two children and my eldest daughter is already in sixth grade, so first grade. i've already passed. i already have some experience in this matter, and this year, this year, and this

year my youngest daughter is going to first grade. she is 7 years old. and in general, in fact, i came to you on the program precisely in order to possibly receive some tips. yes, live that, yes, how to live this experience again, because as i understand it, it will be a little different, based on what kind of younger daughter they are because they are very different from the older one, and the younger one is very emotional. she takes everything to heart and sometimes even if we are at some kind of birth event, for example, when emotions are overwhelming. yes, even if these are positive emotions, and in the evening, and very often this happens to her, what she needs. here uh, something that filled it up during the day, and unloading that too hmm usually happens in the form of some kind of hysterics, and, well, absolutely out of the blue . and actually hmm, because when a child goes to school, his life completely changes. yes, that is, a certain routine appears, and the load on the child is great

, emotional, mental, including, yes, and, in addition, my children also do additional sports, such as sports acrobatics. that is, this load will also be in the evening. yes, our occupation is different, so hmm well here's how to make sure that the child is your youngest girl? no, this is the eldest, she just started first grade, this is when the photo was taken, but this is the youngest, the girls are already cool, these are them doing sports acrobatics, what are you worried about? well, i'm actually worried. these are the possible evening hysterics. that is, their probability. yes, uh, how balanced she will be. yes, how much it will be. her calm emotional background worries me very much. well, actually mine too because, well, the load big and on the parents, including, yes, even despite the fact that, for example, i have an eldest daughter. she's already in sixth grade, though. i still supervise some lessons. yes, there is something to send from some parent chats and to her for some information yes, which she cannot

receive from other sources, except for what i control. well, because i’m involved in raising children, and besides, i also have a job. yes appeared from this year in connection with b's revealed marital status. yes, we can get divorced, that is, the child has additional stress. yes, well, i think that today our psychologist will have something to talk to you about for me to listen to, but first i wanted to ask this question andrey and that’s why the beginning of the school year generally looks like school, this is such a radical measure, such a radical turnaround is simply 180°. that is, the child lives his normal human life. yes, he gets up, plays later , some circles go around. and suddenly it means that this is the guillotine rushing on september 1st of the first class. that's it, the form turns over

i put on my briefcase and collected my teeth for school by eight. i cleaned it on the go, without waking up, i brought the lessons with the parent chat. and that’s it, this is a bunch of wishes from their leaders, rulers, etc. and that we can’t gradually take our children to school, but why are we putting this emotional meat grinder on ourselves for our parents and children? why can’t we do it gradually? well, look, this is stress, which undoubtedly occurs; it is due to the fact that the child is a preschooler and has a limited set of social contacts. she has teacher, nanny. well, a group of one or two people is small, which means the child is still isolated. he does not interact with children from the other group. actually, they are other dionic educators, that is, the child is in a kind of soap bubble. yes, in such protective contacts, as it were, there is less stress, he receives less, respectively, when a child goes to school , there are a dozen teachers there at once.

as a matter of fact, even if it’s an elementary school, it’s still like there’s a fizruk actually there speaking, there are substitute teachers who have to fall ill, the teacher, in fact, is there. just others at home who make comments to the child. and there are children who correct the class. older and even now. although we reduce conflict and, accordingly, stress by highlighting primary school. this is already a separate progress that has happened over the past 20 years, as it were, when we removed first-graders from communicating with eleventh-graders there or ninth-graders, let’s say, this is already the removal of a certain negative stress there the child there, well, doesn’t see the impact for a long time, at least there are children smoking there or drinking children around the corner of the school. yes, unfortunately, this happens in reality there. therefore, a certain minimization of risk occurs, but the number of uncontrollable social contacts becomes greater. uh, changes in the child's routine. eh, they require a change in the parents' regime , adaptation and plus. the most important thing for us is construction. the worst thing. this is the uncontrollability of the environment around the child, when we pick up the child at 6 o’clock from kindergarten. we understand that the child is there

he is true, he did not correspond with anyone there , he visited some strange builders there, so the school opens such a pandora’s box of social contacts. this worries us, of course, but in fact i want to say that in many countries of the world in private kindergartens they are still trying to teach at the level of the preparatory period. and several teachers who come and the child already understands that there can be different teachers. yes, that is, they expand social contacts, but of course the transition from childhood kindergarten to school is all, but it is a hugely stressful situation for the child and here, of course, it is very important to immediately give our drivers advice so that we parents do not increase the burden on the child. eh, this pressure of stress is caused by intimidation. look, you went to school. now no one will feed you here. you won't sleep. everyone will question everything there more harshly. look how offended you will be when you grow up. yes, you have grown up and now you will be offended here and there, as if a child is already he is often

intimidated by us parents at this stage and intimidated the child in the form of frightened eyes child. we, too, could get scared further. although we ourselves are the source of this intimidation, so it is very important, of course, to treat this as calmly as possible. a dear child is a plus, not a minus for you. yes, that is, it shows that that’s it, now everything will be worse. on the contrary, you're great. you've grown up. you have grown up, in this case, our beautiful mashenka is going to school. yes, accordingly, as it were, mashenka , you’ve done well, and you need to submit it to school, as a kind of conquest, an achievement of a child and a child. of course, we are therefore doing well. are you up to i've reached this point. it will be better for you , you will become more mature and serve the child. absolutely right. you understand correctly. that is why a positive presentation, not the loss of something, lunchtime sleep yes, the notorious and legendary casseroles, yes, this immediately gives the child optimism. in addition, you need to show that you will have more friends, because there is a parallel class they always seem to be absolutely right. and what,

what will he get as a result of the fact that his whole life will change completely, his plus that is, it is necessary, what is called here the concept, there is the right way to sell the school, yes , such marketing is so parental ours, that is, the school. yes, serve it correctly. and, of course, we understand that there are many difficulties there, there are disadvantages, but we need to show the advantages and the child. eh, let's go with optimism and positivity. well, this will increase his own mental reserves. and this, of course, will be a big plus for you, as a mother. you can tell your stories that i studied there also in the first grade there was something like that, how it was, great, how it was like this breath in it will give in your maternal voice. eh, the optimism of a child. you described it very vividly and very vitally. this is the state of that, here is the trembling, tremors, and so on of parents, uh, who work themselves out more than their children, winding up their children, and so on. where does this fear come from? in front of our child's school.

what is it? what will happen if my child comes with a bad grade, but you know, we are adults, having already gone through life and in this case , here we have anastasia for the third time, it turns out she is going to first grade on her own, when she left, uh, the eldest daughter, accordingly, is the youngest. i 'm going to first grade for the fourth time. we parents are very afraid that she will grab , say, threes. or, god forbid, the school year starts with two grades, the child forms a wrong idea of ​​himself from the teacher, this will affect the further perception of the child by the teacher and the child will occupy some kind of not very comfortable niche in the class, accordingly he will be considered a c student or a d student, or suddenly the child. let's say there's a mobile phone there or there will be sneakers there. and cheaper than someone in the class, he a loser would fall into this category, let’s say, about sneakers. let's naturally focus on teachers, firstly. this is also a question for the teacher, which you see that the child comes unprepared . or is he bored or not mastering

the material or sitting under his desk with a book? this is actually a question for the teacher, whether you have interested the child enough, and it seems to me that it would be good for the parent to be his child’s lawyer in this situation, but he seems to lack some kind of self-confidence. and what do you do instead, so that instead of we think about being our child’s lawyer. how can we do it right? maybe buy a curtain for the classroom. maybe we should write something there, not something for the teacher, yes, that is, we seem to be trying for the child to build a relationship with the teacher, so that the teacher will look at us, how diligent i am. mom is so wonderful , helpful dad and would bring a relationship. this is so positive for me. yes my child. it seems to me that it’s not very honest and not very useful , or i’m exaggerating, well, you have to understand that children still don’t have that social adaptation experience, that is, for us, and therefore, when parents try to soften their child’s entry into the classroom. when a child really can

adapt for a very long time, go. of course, there should also be some kind of complicity of the parent in the teacher’s acceptance of the child, but unconditionally. eh, it’s very important for the parent to stir up the child socially a little in this regard. this means that the child was not psychologically constrained while in class. let’s say your child is coming. first grade. yes, i went to first grade and a situation happens somewhere: a child goes to first grade with some of the children from his kindergarten group , sometimes a new school there is completely unfamiliar, for example, and in this regard, if the child is in a completely new school, your task as a mother is to get to know other mothers , because as a rule there is only one picture, let’s say. mom is getting ready for the end. there, children are studying near the school , talking about your task, how mothers can be sociable, others have met you, including yes, be friends with your child the girl by other children through her parents. yes, because not all children, what is called

the same active first month, are even 2 months old, many children. they walk in the class lost, they don’t remember who’s name is, they haven’t played with anyone there yet, they haven’t made friends, because again, when playing in kindergarten, a child gets closer to each other faster ; i can’t really roam around there, so in this regard, our parental task is to help the child get to know each other by name, at least there masha natasha elena seryozha with other children already visualize them to see that my mother communicates well or with another mother, and whose child in the class already has at least 2-3 people close to him. yes, he’s already more comfortable with himself. so he won’t be shy at the board. he won't be there, uh, afraid to teach or huh? because he will feel like he is in a small society. this is what we can, of course, help our child adapt to school; a child who goes to school runs to school, knowing that she has friends there already literally the first weeks of training they are at the end of first grade there. when it usually happens. he certainly feels more comfortable. being with your child increases your comfort and makes you

more willing to go to school. yes, that is, not purely for lessons. yes, namely, in order to communicate, this, that schools and pedagogy have such a concept, the leading type of activity for a child, is still necessary, let's be honest, but acquiring knowledge is important, but for a child, not the leading type of game or communication or child let's say your age girls. there are the first years. it's still a game. then closer to the age of 10 at home. we are older than communication and ignorance; unfortunately, we must understand this in this regard as well. eh, the sooner we can make friends between the child and other children, and the more will remain. he already has time to gain knowledge. this is a psyche podcast. my name is natalya loseva, i am our journalist today, expert family psychologist, doctor of science andrei sberovsky, and our heroine anastasia with whom we talk about school as stress. we very often encounter that

good schools suffer from such achievement, when children literally from the first grade are masturbating for the future of the olympiad, some correct grades, and it is very difficult for parents. he is the one to resist, because well, you yourself sent your child to this good school. why are you now, it seems like you are complaining, and you see that the child is not pulling. and so parents need to understand in this situation, and make some decisions for themselves and somehow make the right ones. e build a dialogue from school, what else is needed, while remaining calm yourself you will definitely annoy the child and react to the child in some way. yes, not to become anything christ, two points are important. take into account the first point, if we talk specifically about your child about high emotionality, then high emotionality. it is removed firstly, and by physical activity, but your child goes again, and to the section, right? well, as i understand it, yes, but still not five times a week, that is, on those school days. therefore, on those days when the child

does not go to acrobatics, i advise everyone to do some kind of active form, physical activity. let's run and take a walk together. this is the first. um, the second thing is, of course, to give the child the opportunity to speak out, that is, ask the child, because the huge problem for children and parents is that the parents sent the child to school. it’s clear. we parents don’t have enough problems of our own. and we don’t seem to be interested in the child’s life , the child feels that school is only my business, no one else needs it, as if there is not enough time, but still to question the child. about what happened at school friends girlfriends. it's actually 15 about 15 minutes, if we keep timing, if we clearly control and regulate this problem, it’s not difficult to actually do and third, of course. advice - this is tactility, because children who are prone to emotional breakdowns are tactile, bruised the child’s back, had a massage, this gives. eh, it’s the feeling of release, so helping the release is necessary and definitely important. and as for this achievement, now, unfortunately, it’s the last decade. there is

a huge problem, who are our listeners? parents, dear friends, you should know, look, uh, learning at school will be based on textbooks and accordingly the textbook. this book is correct, that is, the child walks with books. but the trouble is that for the last decade our children and parents with books don’t see this. we stopped reading them because we have tablets and smartphones, as many parents, in principle, are not very good readers themselves. as a result, it turns out that we require the child to read. you 'll knock the child's seat off with cats, but we ourselves don't give an example of that. she understand, that a child before adolescence. it is built on imitation. and in general, how he imitates his parents. why does she continue, if we don’t count, that’s why it’s very important that you, as a mother, give to your children. hello at least there. ph 10-15 minutes, either take a book, or read together, whatever is there, or so that the child sees that you at least have books. maybe you rarely open it, you open it like that for the sake of decency, but we must show the child that his story is with the book. she is close to us as parents, and therefore we cannot

control and cannot persuade the child read, even if we ourselves don’t read a’s and b’s from a child, this is still the result of reading correctly. and this is the reading we must show, well, besides the reading, uh, and the textbook, which the children need to read. you know yourself how dads are asked to do some kind of project . yes, presentations for a 7-year-old child, what kind of presentation is it? let's be honest. it’s not yet like they’re collecting a herbarium, of course, or gluing a source, like, again, we’re making parents, who means she’s divorced and is now bringing in work. yes, two children. she also needs to collect a herbarium and read a book, when you know that we have a tradition of reading. before bed this is it this is good, to be honest, you don’t always want to, because sometimes you just sit without strength. and so the children carry these books. well, because they already know this, like reflex, probably pulled out such a feat in our face, that your children are drawn to it, perhaps thanks to

this. only now i realized it, and she loves to read. so i say that dear parents, and the most valuable thing you can giving a child this will still instill in him a love of reading, if the child reads, if he enjoys it, if he has the right books , the child will be motivated to continue doing this on his own without your participation, without involving you in the school curriculum, as anastasia did right , and go to the teacher, she understands that something needs to be discussed. this is also a rather complicated dialogue. you understand that your child depends on the teacher, if he doesn’t like him, the teacher, the teacher will be angry child. suffer, that is, you need to somehow build a dialogue correctly. how to properly build a dialogue between young parents and such venerable teachers. here i will give some such practical advice: firstly, it is very important that parents

support the teacher in the third, because, unfortunately, as a practical psychologist, i constantly deal with the situation when parents discuss it in front of their child. yes, the teachers there are not like that. listen, i remember from mine we weren’t very good there, yes, and who is she there? yes, she’s been there for almost a week. yes she just young. we have like our parents, or a young teacher. i don’t perceive it, or she’s already listed it too old. the knowledge there is recent, that is, therefore, we ourselves, parents, often form frivolous relationships with children that are not respectful of teachers, so it is important to say. listen, you are so good, please follow her recommendations and instructions there, so the settings are correct. firstly, of course, of course, because there is absolutely some kind of negative experience with something. of course, but we must proceed from presumption of goodness of teachers. they are still, let's treat it like this. and in this regard, we need to set up the child so that please, child. listen to the teacher. she's good, that's the first thing a teacher values ​​objectively. here. eh, let's put it that

way. and second. if you assume that you know the characteristics of your child, that the child is emotional from chur, for example, and may shy away from the board, come up in advance, that is, don’t sort things out only later, when the problem has started, but come up and say, dear revanna. and there is sergei petrovich there no matter how accordingly you know my child. there are such features. if possible, please take them into account in this regard as well as a teacher who, especially, even has some work experience. of course, he will be there somewhere, please don’t ask my child is the first one, he is the first one there to be afraid. if possible, there, please let the child think a little there, but because there is a way who shoots, not all children immediately begin to respond. yes, here you need to get ready to concentrate, ate, squeezed something else it is very important to give these instructions, in addition. nowadays, school psychologists are appearing in schools and are quite well trained, which we can also approach. as a mother, you have every right to say. you know, my child is very worried; the child has difficulties communicating with peers. yes, or he is afraid of the teacher. if you can play there, if you can

play along, if you can, just give it to the child, because it’s the same school psychologist. just let the roach tell your child, mashenka, how are you? all good. all fine. the child knows that there is someone who can pay attention to the child and will already feel comfortable. as a matter of fact, that’s why your task is to show that the child has allies. there are those who may be suitable, and again speaking with adults, you will still form the correct attitude towards your child in advance and we will avoid a head-on conflict, because we are already finding out oh, you are bad there. oh, you are wrong there . my child perceives confrontation as the last thing that can happen in school, because again, a teacher with a lot of practice. well, it’s like two chairs have been working for 10 years, it turns out that the pedagogical ones are not competent, there is something else. there are teachers here, of course, who are, well, somehow pure categorical, there or the pedagogical there are unprofessional and there are in this regard, if you see a blatant, let’s say, a situation connected there with the incompetence of the teacher or he, when he crossed the boundaries, became personal

there's a child there. yes, this, unfortunately, happens rarely, but sometimes there is no need to be afraid to get there and already and to the school director. yes, talk to him, as it were, so in fact you can defend yourself, but any preventive actions are always much more correct. but here i would like to clarify, because sometimes it happens that the conflict is actually resolved within the class and then with the parents, the choice is either to take the child out of school, or to go to the director, or to go, and the director can support the teacher. just based on something like that. well, quasi everyone cares about professional solidarity and then you need to go higher and here parents give up because they think it 's good. i'll go now and write a sting. yes, i'm trying now. well, influence the situation, and then it will come back to bite my child, especially. if there is nowhere to translate it, then, as a rule , psychologically build tactics in a conflict situation. well, you know anyway. eh, do you understand? that the school administration is also a director or

a teacher, they are not interested in the conflict developing, most often the answer is given as a compromise point, that the teacher is changing something in his approach to a specific to kid. well, parents also take their child. there, somewhere, there is somehow more control, so that the child better fulfills those standards, those standards that we are obliged to fulfill, like a schoolchild, proper negotiations. this is always a compromise, that there, we hear you, you will hear us, and both of them take on some obligations. this is such a form of conversation, it usually ends positively, and in general , everyone is happy. but if we see some kind of, well, head-on conflict situation, where you are definitely absolutely sure that you are right. how is your mom. yes, that's necessary. moving on, if the management of education, in fact, there is always a mayor's office, that is, there are people who fell for the powerful in resolving the situation, because in fact, of course, i don’t really like, as a psychologist, transferring children from school to school, because in fact, any translation is quite difficult, like history. eh,

moreover, many teachers there, as a rule, know, they can call you from school from school. why was there a conflict situation between parents and, say, teachers? or the school administration somewhere will also be tense. and i will add this. it seems to me that here, uh, in any case , it’s a losing situation with the child’s position, because either the child perceives the situation that i lost and therefore we have no other choice. how to translate or form your own. yes, or he will say yes? i wanted to and we haven’t transferred manipulation to advertising yet. yes, of course, but these are teenagers, so a psychologist. eh, of course, i don’t like translations. i understand that translations are only necessary when a there is a conflict within the class, when a child has become an outcast, when the bullying is so open, when a large number of classmates are involved, that is , it is already difficult to fix this with the teacher, in fact, if this is a sane person for the most part, after all teachers, these are sane people, let’s still

treat them with understanding. it is possible to reach an agreement, it is important that no one raises the question of the principle, that there is a discussion platform. my name is natalya loseva i am our journalist today expert family psychologist doctor sciences andrei izberusky and our heroine anastasia with whom we are talking about school, how stress there are some other things that confused me in anastasia’s story. i would like to discuss this with you, friends, when anastasia spoke about her eldest daughter. i heard two things that worried me. the first is anastasia’s control over her daughter, who is already 12 years old, and the second, let it hurt. parenting of our time is a parent chat. let's talk about control first. up to what grade should you do homework with your child? until what grade do you need to go into the electronic diary and look, it means that the child

has been assigned an assignment, then the parents begin to find out, parents begin to send each other, which means messages in instant messengers, what were they assigned to us today? uh, history and math. this happens very often. yes, not children's parents. well, you know, i’m for, hmm, of course, trust in the child, but you have to understand that the child is in his teenage years. it’s not always possible to cope with this trust, so our parental control. then what is the child’s academic performance, and has everything been done there? at home, accordingly, for the next lesson we should still do this, that is, in this regard, i am a supporter of control, it should be soft. this should be control that is not offensive to the child. yes, when we do not doubt, it is impossible even to rely on you. these phrases did not sound like, yes, after all, we must control, but he says that to control, but to praise, every homework completed successfully , every successful a should not remain underestimated, because, unfortunately, you have in verbally. yes, that's it express it somehow. yes, this is the problem

of parents. unfortunately, it has always existed and will exist, and for a long time we are in the fact that we take fours and fives for granted and do not say it as a child. nothing, as it were, but twos and threes, of course, evoke negative emotions in us. as a result , the child gradually develops an association with school and communication with mom and dad only through negativity. it’s just that we only react to negativity, that’s why i’m emphasizing this thought. we must give a reaction to any grades, including sevens and fives. don't take it as it should be said so. oh, what a fine fellow you are, what a great fellow you are! our words go away and well done. they edit the child better. as a responsibility, it accordingly reduces our need for further control, so there should be control, but not only for the purpose of identifying the very two who were praised. it’s easy to react to them, because they do it right, honestly, it takes one’s anger. so, when you look at this electronic diary. you see this three there , you wonder where it comes from, psychology. eat, people learn. there are two types of reinforcement : positive negative, correct, of course, yes.

that’s why i’m a theorist, of course, yes, because as a practitioner, of course, i also react very violently to bad grades. this is true, but in theory, i understand that you need to praise for a b. even if we understand that this is a b in physical education and against a c. e in mathematics for an a, all the more praise. but for a c for a d, you need to figure it out and help and figure it out, i emphasize, not immediately from the position, there are accusations. there's hatred there irritation and so on, let's see if there was anything complicated. listen, well, it’s actually not that difficult. let's sort of solve it, 1-2 removed the equation there or one or two. we can solve these signs, as it were, that is, we must still try to look for ways out. or he might say, listen, what do you think, maybe we’ll try to hire a tutor for lessons. i hope this is a question for tutors, because not everyone always has enough time with their parents. yes , if i understand that you yourself can, uh, help,

then of course tutors are even more so now our online time is a serious advantage and many parents, of course, take advantage of it and i don’t see any negative in it, because again, there are parents whom i don’t have enough patience or time, because parents can also be very different, but with children lessons. well, yes, it’s simply not a lack of ability, because explaining can be much more difficult than doing it yourself. and therefore, it very often turns out that parents , instead of explaining to the child, he simply does not know how to do the cd himself, i decide to attribute it myself. yes, like this just done. like this. why do it like this and we make things bad for the child. there is a small life hack. yes, in this situation, those parents, and who, let’s say, have during the day in their free time, well, let’s say, now, again , many parents work remotely or your regime allows some days to be at home with the child. the main thing, because the main problem is the lessons. this is because parents try to help the child do his homework or do it together in the evening, when the parents are already tired from the day, when

the child has already forgotten a lot, the child’s memory is not that long, so i advise. if there is an opportunity to be at home with the child during the day, at least try to practice not every day, so that you do your homework immediately after going home from school, as if, of course, if the child there is hungry, we will feed him, give him, he has 15 minutes to rest, but he did the best lessons right away while the child is still involved in the educational process by inertia, when he has not yet forgotten how it would be, yes. if possible, and again, when i get home, i still say that it’s better to do my homework right away and then have dinner. even if not everyone is there at six, but it’s already eight nine, but they decided to immediately submit the deadline, because when the parents arrived there. we ate, rested and went to sleep on day 8. and now you have lessons there , then the most important conflicts occur, as if we choose the time for lessons as early as possible, as far as the operating mode of this life hack allows, which even the parents are not tired of. if

possible, in general it is still parental chat and let's talk in the finale. it seems to me that this is the source of neuroses. e and others. eh, hmm, not very good events. there, even if the child only has one chat with his parents, and some of them are the teacher, and there are very few parent chats, as far as i know, in which it is possible to hold such an even constructive discussion. yes, very often the position of the teacher and the position of the school administration slips, because school chats are now, of course, a huge problem, because as a psychologist. i, uh, during the school year, i watch every for almost a week there were not just any conflicts. between the parents, and the insult reaches drago, the kb threatens that ours were fatal, i listen to the business trips , the daddies fight and their case comes to the point of criminality in that for difficult cases they come, so for me it is very important. in this

case, uh, when i work with parents, i try to say, dear parents. you will agree, uh, with the teacher, your class teacher, and the school administration that there are strict standards of behavior in the chat. nobody discusses anyone personally on unrelated topics no one gets carried away with school, there are certain strict boundaries when we just touch on lessons. here is the topic, here are the essays and nothing more - donate money for graduation. yes please, come on for second grade. sorry yes, that's why it is very important that teachers and school administrators do not lose control of the chat, because as soon as they lose, the dominant mommy, the dominant female, the dominant male will appear there. as a matter of fact, they already have pressure, which is weak. and what about you poor people and it begins in this situation, children, as a rule, we get involved in this story and the child feels that we are poorer there than others in the class or, on the contrary, richer. i may act too arrogant in class or towards a parent.

it is very important to reach an agreement with a healthy core of parents and get the support of the school administration, so that there are more chats to control the medicine, you generally need to be in that chat somewhere , there is a class teacher to say that everything else is. please report to me individually. and then it’s mine advice to you, as a mother, that it is advisable that you still make one or two or three friends in the class so that in some difficulties, and you have a coordinated position, that your children, again, would be such a core of friendship among themselves , and in this regard we understand that the life of a child. it doesn't just happen at school. if you can, again, as a mother of two or three, make friends somewhere and sometimes take two or three children for a walk together with them after school, when two are small together. loves cinema there on weekends kunsian together. this gives the child a feeling of comfort in the classroom and you , as a mother, will be calmer and, again, you will be less upset; you will send your child to school as if it’s a safe comfort or a place for yourself, this also all matters. i recommend

these meetings. i advise you to come sometimes at least to get a bite or to get to know him in person, because she actually always treats her well when her parents call specifically now, not with an attack. not with pressure. just hello. i’m right there , here’s my phone number. if so, keep in i mean, again there are some nuances there, like a child in this regard, when i understand the history, uh, there is discomfort, and the child is at school. i always ask. do you even know the teacher? eh, there they often don’t know the subject, in general, such difficulties arise that we don’t even understand who the child communicates with, so parental involvement in school is allowed within reasonable limits, of course, within the limits of knowledge, at least what the director looks like what does a teacher look like? and it allows the parent to take school more seriously, and a serious relationship between parents and a school sets a serious relationship between the school and the child, so control. let me remind you that we return to the issue of control. there should be control, well, a correct, gentle well-wisher and i emphasize

the positive. after all, the carrot still works better than the stick. well, i don’t know , stasia, how are you, but somehow i felt better , and andrey built some kind of correct internal strategy. yes, the picture doesn’t look so catastrophic and neurotic, friends. we talked today about school, how stress is for parents, for children , and our current expert, doctor of science , psychologist, family psychologist. andrey sberovsky. he showed us a different perspective and a different strategy for approaching school and building relationships from school. this is a psychic podcast. and you can watch all podcasts on the website of channel one tv.ru.

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