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only fixiki distances alice continue the movie turn on the tv pro vtb team is with you excellent 10% cashback everything is interesting, who invented it, the one whose family is about to become larger, which means 10% cashback, it will definitely come in handy, good returns with interest, and the one who invests in his son’s future, so the card is free, and transfers without commission, we came up with a vtb debit card for such you and i will have time to issue your card for the life of the bank and everything will work out better every month. return 2 1/2% balances. thank you, you will have time to apply for a loan with increased cashback more profitable. dobronravov has such a special talent to influence the destinies of people with his poems, but, as in a person’s life, in the life of a song

, sometimes there are few obstacles along the way. who knows that the famous song melody might not have been born at all and my loti sh, i am your sin. there, rita's lines were different, each one was one of the most difficult subtexts in in my practice, dobronravov spent more than a year writing these lines. during this time, he could have released two collections of poems, but he did not complete the work and created one of his main songs. about love.

you know where they stop being surprised at how tenderly nikolai nikolaevich treats alexandra nikolaevna, er nikolai nikolaevich said at one birthday party, dear. alka, you are my greatest success in life. i think nothing more needs to be said here. let them say that in their work there are no songs dedicated to each other only lovers could write such a confession. if this were such an accurate dedication, i would write you here, but they smell, but i think that many will already guess that the melody became a hymn of love, another famous couple of muslim magomayev and tamara sinevsky in that seventy-second year , their romance had just begun opera prima flew off for an internship at the theater caressed, but

there were no barriers for lovers every day muslim called tamari. and he played recordings of his new songs, including the melody, not only ourselves, but also the people who heard this for the first time the melody of these wonderful poems. maybe they were imbued with it and imprinted on their hearts that this is the hallmark of love. magomayev and sinyavskaya soon got married, the melody became the calling card of the singer dobronravov and other songs were written to pakhmut. muslim joked that he especially loved hopes, why do i sing it? because i

had a hard time eating the first verse, but i learned it, and then i walk around the hall and the audience sings. well, i sing with them, my father is on the wall, there is an unusual portrait hanging in their house. their faces seem to merge and just look at different aspects of life, everything is different, go somewhere else, look at someone, take a closer look. we don’t have this, he doesn’t have it, she doesn’t have it, i don’t have it, so it happened as it happened. not the songs, but the relationships remain their main secret character. and this is natural, because he is a talented person. well, it’s hard to say, it doesn’t need

to be said, but just read his poems. in their house the telephone never stops speaking; according to tradition, nikolai dobronravov answers all calls; everyone knows this telephone number, but there were numerous secrets, because they to call so that they would pick up the phone, who only knew how to dial. eh, how to wait? how many seconds will it take to call again, in their families, it is not customary to waste time on empty talk. this star couple does not notice their age and works no matter what. for so many years music and poetry have been one whole. kolya is coming shura. here they are together. it’s just an amazing coincidence given to us by god, so that kolya didn’t write, he didn’t write. well , i'm in love with them, what can i say. many years if we put

the poet's entire life on one scale, his passion, passion, and another only work on the word, then poetry would be easy, the scales would tip in their direction. maybe because in every line written by nikolai dobronravov there is a melody of love for life for the woman i love, an all-encompassing love that is stronger than anything in this world. earth how can i live for a few hours? how the leaves are falling in the gardens and taxis are always rushing somewhere, only the earth is empty without you. and you fly and

the stars give you their gifts. hello this is a psyche podcast and we continue to unravel the complex tangles of human lives. it's careful carefully so that both our heroes and those who find out may see themselves reflected in their situation. they found some way out for the fate of our hero. or at least looked. perhaps from a different perspective on the situation that worries us and prevents us from being happy, our expert today

is clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences artur timofeev hello everyone, and our heroine milena, she was left alone with two children. her personal life is not going as we would like, well, milena herself, he'll probably tell you everything. hello hello what did you come up with, i am looking for a potential husband and now i go on dates and meet men. and i have this question. at what stage should i introduce this person to my children? how to understand? is it even worth introducing this person? will we have a continuation and actually, how to introduce this person to children, so as not to traumatize their psyche, not to give them any unnecessary hopes that this person will stay in our lives for a long time, because

i already had some bad experiences. and hmm , i would like now not to step on the same rake and do everything damn. so , when you talk about a bad experience, do you mean your husband, the father of these children, or do you mean those men who were then both, well, it turns out that uh? my brother ended in divorce. unfortunately, we do not maintain a relationship with the father of the children, respectively, men. yes, and there is no dad in our lives, but it so happened that literally a few days before giving birth to me, and higher powers did not i know what else to call it, they sent a wonderful man who became our life for 3 years. well, literally my man, father to my children. i mean, he's like, damn

, let's do it. so you, uh, divorced your husband. well, in fact, we separated when we were pregnant with our second child, and yes, it turns out that this man who came into your life did too. he basically accepted. this is for the second child. yes, that is, he accepted both of them somewhere, that is, together. we did not live together, that is, the person was from another country, and we met, then there is. well, we had a fulfilling relationship. let it be at a distance, but he stung, uh. i know his children. yes, he came to us. we visited him and spent time together. what's happened? why did such a wonderful relationship end? now, unfortunately, something happened in the world, that circumstances are forces beyond our control that separated us and ah. yes, i mean precisely these circumstances, and for some time we still had hope that we would get together, but

considering that it had already been 3 years. it was already a long-distance relationship, then, well, to some extent at that moment, i simply couldn’t stand it psychologically and was the initiator of the proposal to let go of this situation. well, in general, we discussed it together and said yes, because we didn’t find a solution. how to be together? damn, well, if i asked you who you are looking for first of all, you are looking for yourself. uh, a male lover's friend. are you looking for a husband, as you know, social status and as some kind of support point, or are you looking for a father to your children? i understand that, of course, in an ideal world we want. first second third compote, well , what is the main task for you now. here in what is motivation? really. yes, in my ideal world, i am, first of all , a close person with whom i personally will have a good close relationship. i am

a young woman, i am interested in this person being both a romantic love partner and on this basis. if everything goes well, then in general i would like to get married and end this relationship. specifically straight to the target. what's the status? i need a husband now, i don’t have one, am i married? i already had this status. he doesn't give anything. if not, within the family, within relationships mutual understanding investments of love, very cool photos of yours with children. thank you , you are just such friends. yes, by the way, this photo shoot was just a man for us , this is the love that was after marriage, this is what he did milena please tell me, when did you break up with the man. yes, when

did the pandemic happen when the relationship was at a distance? how did the children take it? well, i'll start with the fact that the eldest son is older. he still remembered dad, they still had their moments. and such a pleasant childhood. yes, that is, the child remembers dad, and he was bored and asked where he was, what he was doing, and when there was a new man, yes, that is , roughly speaking, he replaced, yes, completely this one. how old was he? well, the beginning of the relationship was about 4 1/2 years old, and well, it turned out that i even came on the first date with the baby, and that is, and somehow, and then all of our dates, in general, were almost at the beginning, bye, baby i was little , everything happened together, but accordingly, i didn’t even have the option of not getting to know them. and somehow everything went on and on by itself. these 3 years are great, and then, in fact, for me it’s just that that i didn’t know what to say to the children, how to explain to them that there was a situation in the world, that

something had gone wrong, that we were adults here . it seems like we can’t agree. that is , it was a shock for me and for the children. and i still have this question, what should i say in such a situation, because i’m making up fairy tales. what was said? well, i said that it so happened that airplanes no longer fly from one country to another, that we live in one country, and the person is different, respectively. well, they are together. we sat down. they flew and now the planes don’t fly. but we can’t see each other and how much it will be like, my mother doesn’t know and how the other person on the other side doesn’t know either, so for now we live the way we live and how the son perceived this information, essentially. he seemed to understand, but from time to time, of course, he approached me with

a question. what, when will we see each other? well , as it were, when it all gets better, that is, well, there weren’t really any strong differences, but the children are already used to them. they expected that a person exists, that he will exist, and it turns out that in at some point when we had already resolved this issue. i realized that this was for an indefinite period and that the children needed to be prepared for something else, and i said that the suns happen, that, well, dads and loved ones. we can't see them. and what i said is that dad is the person who raises you, who is with you and that we will find a new dad. well , milena promised that she made a promise and it works, but i sincerely and kind of

wanted it myself. well, arthur, well, it's done, it's done. yes already, i understand that it is necessary avoid making such promises to children, or what? eh, the story about santa claus is still being held to the last. well, it's better not like that. uh, there are some ages at which children really won't be able to perceive information normally. and in general. most often they don’t even ask questions. this is the age, so, as a rule, up to 5 years, up to 5 years, and all the children’s questions are very childish and because their conceptual apparatus is very childish, so the answer is that we cannot see dad there, or even a man, because he can not to fly is a completely understandable answer. but from about five years old, from 5.5, maybe six, they differ a little. yes, these frameworks

, depending on the child himself, the child will already ask more targeted questions. he will be curious and therefore any information that comes to the child is connected, either with promises or with the story of something unrealistic, but the child remembers it, and in general, he will somehow react to it. we become hostages. these, uh, by accident or intentionally, the child himself didn’t remember this either. maybe this children. well, then, we remember, i have the feeling that we, in some kind of social stereotype, continue to associate the happiness of our children, necessarily with a complete family. yeah and again in an ideal world. this is how it should be, but the world is not ideal, it is different. now it’s possible for me, it seemed to me that milena would refute it, but it seemed to me that for you

your family happiness is connected, well, practically with the obligatory presence of a man and the children’s father in the house, it turns out that everything that happened to me? yes, how many points out of ten? eight out of ten, it is still important for me that we have a complete family and have a man in ours, and if this does not happen. well, this is not, you know, a managerial task. at any cost, i need to find a child’s lamp like this, or a nail like this, if this doesn’t happen, i will continue to do this directly with my life, and help raise children with self-realization. i'll still go on dates. and even according to the theory of probability, someday you should meet a person of time, you give yourself. here i have my whole life ahead of me for this, i will not

limit myself in this. my name is polina vorobyova, i am an actress. i decided to find out. what companies do we have in our country, what do they produce, what inspires them and what do they strive for? big premiere, we'll see you all at

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vtb debit card for people like you and me, you will have time to get your card for life on vtb.ru or at the bank office and everything will work out first imagine, allow yourself more every month return 2 1/2% of the balance with sber bonuses thank you kill get a loan with increased cashback more profitable olga sutulova in the serial film. ask march premiere from september 25 on the first my name is natalya loseva i am a journalist with me in the studio expert clinical psychologist candidate of psychological sciences arthur timofeev and our heroine milena arthur i don’t even know, now i’ll ask you, as a man or as a psychologist. let's ask in one bottle. and what is the right strategy and tactics for a woman who is left with a young beautiful woman, who

is left with two children and still wants her happiness to be like this? well, as we know of books and good films with a man and children i don't like the word correctly. but here it is still important. and what does milena herself want if she really sees her family as complete? yes, when there is a man next to her, yes, and for the children, he becomes, maybe, a foster father. yes, or in some way, then why not? yes? this is her picture, and she wants to be so comfortable, if it weren’t for my positive experience with the last man who inspired you, who i would have, i probably would have just thought that this doesn’t happen. and when did this happen in my life? i i just don’t want to give it up now, and i understand that this happens. and perhaps this is hope. it will not just

be with you for the rest of your life. i even have hope that this person and i can talk about this someday. we broke up three years ago , i understand correctly. and it’s important that when the decision was made you would never be able to see each other, and when it was decided it was decided, my daughter was just about three years old, so now i measure everything by my daughter. this was a formal decision made on your initiative. well, we came to this together, then we talked and we discussed options and didn’t find options that everyone wanted to live together and couldn’t go there. that is, there were no questions there. whether we wanted there was a question that he couldn’t and i couldn’t , a solution that could possibly

save us, it, unfortunately, was not possible. at that moment, therefore, how long can a relationship even last. at such a distance, relationships are a very dynamic thing, and relationships are at a distance. they seem to freeze, that is, somewhere there a person develops himself. and you yourself develop here and when you meet there in a couple of years, for example, you may understand that you have nothing to talk about, but they say, we live in the digital age. yes, now you can speak, uh, with your voice for an infinite amount of time literally online, accidentally on speakerphone, and spend the whole evening together. not to mention the video. yes, you can agree, i absolutely agree, but this is not at all the same thing as living together in the same territory. well, what do you mean that there is no one to tell, dear , today you wash the dishes, well, i, if, of course, i don’t take the most important intimate sphere, but

nevertheless for that is emotional contact without physical existence. it can’t be maintained for a long time, he won’t say, but it’s much more difficult and there are always risks, that, well, after all. eh, when people are together, they adapt to each other. yes, relationships are dynamic things; they develop and develop. because each person in a couple changes, so does the relationship within the couple. and when such a breakup occurs, despite the fact that yes, you can communicate, there by video link, however all the same, the lack of a shared life and the lack of opportunity to constantly contact each other creates, uh, well, some obstacles and the risks of a breakup increase. well, plus we know that physical intimacy is very often such an anti-crisis uh and many marital conflicts are quarrels and moods.

they are hidden due to the fact that there is this part of your life, therefore, i would not, but again, be super categorical and say that no, long-distance relationships always end badly there. but i would he said that after all, this is a rather complex thing about relationships. under ideal conditions, this is a complex thing, and here are the divorce statistics, which is exactly what they say. and if we also create some new complex ones. yes, like the distance , the inability to see each other and some feelings of uncertainty about what will happen next , apparently. because as far as i understand, the break in the relationship occurred when there was complete uncertainty. and it continued for several months after the lock downs, which i was alone with the kids and realized how important it is for me that there is still a person, that is, i have before this. well, once upon a time there, when we were young, there were these stories

that we were able to correspond with someone there for a year, we thought. oh god, this is my love, then we met once and realized that goodbye and see you, i don’t want to know. and here, of course, 3 years. we still saw it. we had different contacts. there was a lot of warmth and emotional support both at a distance and at the same time, physically there was this, for which you could feel support meet. and when i realized that there was nothing for 3 months. and when the next contact will be unknown. it was scary. it was a terrible tragedy to lose this. of course, i didn't have enough. just calls , well, after what happened, you no longer communicate. well, for the first year we kept in touch. yes, that is, russian. yes, he called and congratulated my children on their birthday, even sent gifts there through friends. so at

some point i said that it just hurts me too much, that let’s not do it at all. well, but still once every year or two. well well, as if this year, too, i also wrote to him and couldn’t stand it and asked how somehow he said something, he was very happy. well, in general, we talked and agreed that we would be glad to see each other again, but when it’s unclear, because nothing has changed for him. he cannot come to russia. and i also can’t get into his country. it's neutral territory, and we can't meet now. damn, well, there were other stories, there were other men, not just this man, yes, like those with whom you met your children? tell us more, huh? yes, at some point i realized that i needed a person, i needed a person here and

i had a friend who, in general, observed my situation, and he, let’s say, came out of the shadows and i imagined him as a friend of a family friend for the children, that is, well, we also spent time together, went to the park, celebrated a birthday, but our relationship did not work out and, in fact, we separated and it turns out that there was a person in our life and, again, the person in our life was no longer there and the children also had questions, where is this person now? what happened and it was difficult to figure out what to say to the children, but at the same time, to be a person with whom i understand that, well,

it wouldn’t have worked out for us, and the relationship that i would like, that’s in general. this is traumatic for children. ahh. it depends on how you say it, because uh, as i already said, yes, over 5 years old, children still begin to understand a lot, and this requires some openness with them , the child in general can understand that people have broken up and understanding that a separation has occurred not necessarily for a child traumatic. well, because the children in the kindergarten, for example, also became friends as part of their relationship and stopped communicating. and the child has this concept in his head: that you can start communicating, or you can separate? and if you present this information to a child, that yes, they began to be found within the framework of even children’s terms. yes, they started making friends there.

okay, the child will accept it. stopped being friends. the child will also perceive it. the concept of love for children is more complicated, but in general it is also possible. it is clear in simple terms in simple concepts, but in general, perhaps, yes, there first, uh, we can talk about friendship, we can talk about the fact that this person. eh, she likes it. she likes to be with him and slowly introduce him into, well, let’s say, into the children’s world. well, the children see this person, or go to some amusement park, for example, and only then when the children already accept this person. they already have some credibility in him. they treat him well, then we can already say that there is a feeling for this person, for example, to marry him get married, and then the children will ask there whether he, for example, will become a dad for them, and

this is also an important point. you already said that dad is not the one. the one who raises gave birth, eh? considering what? well, after all , children, at least the eldest one, he’s of school age. yes, he is 10 years old and from 1 it is obvious that he definitely understands. well , he understands everything sufficiently, and then naturally, you can talk to him normally, but about these things? and how much younger the baby is already six, and she already understands too, and i understand that everyone understands everything and this is already necessary yes, ours this friend of mine, who was truly a friend. he imagines that this is my friend. yes, great, why not? why not, right? but to answer questions about whether he will become a dad, but in principle, in principle,

psychologists usually recommend doing some dilutions. that a yes there is, for example, a biological dad yes and even if there is no actual relationship with him, yes, we still talk about it after all and there should be a separation, because for teenagers, for example, this is usually important. this is often important for teenagers find out what happened to my biological father. where did he go? if this topic is taboo, it will create some tension for the teenager. well, literally some kind of instability will probably interfere with building a relationship with their own with the help of a family member, yes, or irrevocably with family members. uh , and, accordingly, in your own romantic relationships in the future. that is , so this is important, so after all, the figure of one’s own father. yes, biologically, he

must be put into context, that this is what he was like. or maybe even, and i don’t know about the younger one, but tell the older one, if he has an interest in this, and he is already asking questions on this topic, then at least tell how the story of this relationship met, the truth or the astronaut pilot. who else is there? the lighthouse really went sailing and never returned. here we are telling the truth. well, ah, even if it’s not attractive, yes. but we soften it, that is, soften the sharp corner, but on the whole there must be truth, because why not tell the truth? yes, well, older teenagers will lose any trust for lies parents and then just contact with the teenager.