stalin really did not trust the defectors; alexei tolstoy was the only one who survived, but i would like to end with something a little different. and in exile, in addition to nikita’s childhood, alexey tolstoy wrote a book, which of course everyone knows, which was filmed more than once , a novel about walking through mocks, which means there was a novel about walking through torment, it has two editions , namely the first part, which is now called, but originally it was called walking in torment. this means that there was an emigrant part that... came out in berlin and there was a part that was subsequently republished in the soviet union, and bunin, by the way, wrote that tolstoy was so cunning, such a cunning opportunist, he changed it to please the bolsheviks, in fact this is not so, bunin simply did not compare these two editions, there are differences between them, including ideological differences, but they are not so great and they do not change, well, the main idea that is in this book, and the main idea in this book

is that she was not for the reds and not for the whites, she was for russia , there is a very important scene, at the end of the first part, there now, if you remember, two , in general this book is remarkable because there are a lot of good characters , so if you remember, then at the end of the torment, the first part , telegin and roshchin argue about russia, the action takes place in the seventeenth year, shortly after the october revolution and roschin is horrified that the country is dying, it’s just dying, because the army is fleeing, because everything... takes the historian klyuchevsky off the shelf, he says that the russian land was devastated, he sat in the kremlin, which means he was on the throne , after all these impostors, yes, remember, boris godunov, grisha katrepev and so on, the poles were just sitting in the kremlin openly, and it seemed that nothing would come from russia, but then the russian people began to gather, they brought

a new tsar, who was afraid there, boy trembled, but nevertheless, they gathered a militia, drove out the poles, defeated some gangs of thieves, gangs that walked around moscow, borrowed money, began to raise money, took care of the faith, as he writes, because they understood that faith is the most important thing and the grandchildren of these people, these grandchildren are already swedes they beat, and then petersburg was founded, and then russia became a great empire and telegin tells roshchin, the district will remain from us, and from there the russian land will come, with this incredible faith in russia, with this incredible confidence that russia is indestructible, that russia cannot be kill, russia cannot be destroyed, this is why alexey tolstoy is remarkable, this does not negate the fact that he was a cynic, that he was a scoundrel, that he never forgot about himself, about his family, about his privileges, that he became numb... to be incriminating ,

this doesn’t cancel anything, but it was really very difficult man, this was the podcast alexey tolstoy, with you was the writer and rector of the literary institute alexey varlanov. thank you! hello, this is a podcast letter, my guest is the people's artist, winner of the marina tsvetaeva prize, svetlana kryuchkova. hello, larochka, i am very glad to see you, i take the liberty of calling you larochka, because we have known each other for a very long time, you had just graduated from college then, right? and i was already an artist ; my mother was already so great.

it never fit in my head that you are everything anyway, you just gave birth to your eldest mitya, and i remember that you still have a reflex , you carried a bottle with you, some sandwiches, and you gave it to me all the time, but today the program, unfortunately, but you have to give it to me word that you will come to me again, because i want to talk about the great you, today we will talk about the great flower, which you know, call me the great varochka, well, i can’t do anything with myself, you know, this is because today he. well , it’s not very decent, i said it, fell silent, and i know for sure that you are a great mother, with your demand, with your popularity, and with the love of the viewer for you, your mity, your son, was primary for you, i remember these notes on your doors, so as not forget the papilla there, so that all this, i remember all this, how it all fit into you, because you... are such a person

, look, you said it in advance, yes, now you have to explain it, now you have to do it explain to the audience, because nothing can be done, despite the fact that so much has passed years, of course, everyone is interested in who she loved, whether she really loved everyone, whether she loved children or not, whether she was able to save her daughter, or whether it was fate, so i want to come to you today, i just want to hear these answers from you, and i it’s not for nothing that i drew this parallel, yes, yes, yes, you really are a great mother, and you still managed, light, to say that we lived in some times when everything fell from the sky, it’s also impossible to say, and how you were busy, and that there was no time and that... no one helped you, and that yura, the kingdom of heaven, lay in hospital, and you ran there with a huge belly, then it was all the time with heart attacks, and nothing happened to you, it’s all a parallel to tsvetaeva, here you go, i directly find her words, right away yes, she writes: the poems themselves are looking for me, in such abundance that

i don’t really know what to write, what to throw away, i might not sit down at the table, suddenly all the quatrains are ready. while squeezing out the last shirt in the wash or frantically rummaging in my bag, collecting exactly 50 kopecks, and sometimes i write like this on the right side of the page, only poetry, on the left, others, the hand flies from one place to another, flies across the page, not to forget, to catch, to hold, there are not enough hands, so you say mother, she was a wonderful mother, she, unfortunately, was forced to deal with everyday life that she could not stand, absolutely, and others just adore it, for example , between rehearsals, before the performance, you just adored this way of life, and just went straight away, here is akhmatova, for example, akhmatova, she just didn’t study,

yes, she was not very healthy, and marina, forgive me , i peeled so many potatoes, that her hands were work, they weren’t hands , she went to get milk for the children, with all this she took care of the children, but the poems lived in her, that’s why i read it, she generally had love through the word, for all her beloved , and the real, fantasized one, it was just through her word, through her poetry, without love, she, she was a terribly lonely person, internally she was a terribly lonely person, schweitzer, victoria schweitzer writes that too early her inner world, closed to others, opened , loneliness of the poet

among non-poets, but brodsky says, the better the poet, the more terrible the loneliness, she was very lonely, look, her whole life... was divided into three periods, a premonition of love, love itself, so he said, a premonition of love, the action of love, memories of love , she spoke about all people, and the action lasts from 5 years to 75, it’s very sweet , so she writes, i say, as before death, it’s not enough for me to write poetry, i need something, someone to love at every hour of the day and nights, one star for me... does not overshadow the other and right, why then did god create a full sky of stars? but she has poems that confirm, i wrote on the aspen board, on the leaves of faded weirs, on the river on the sea sand, on ice skates and a ring

of glass, on trunks that have survived hundreds of winters, finally, so that everyone knows that you are loved, loved , we love, we love, i signed with a heavenly rainbow , how... i wanted everyone to bloom for centuries with me, under my fingers and how then, bending the lop on the table, i crossed out the name crosswise, but you are in the hand of a corrupt arctic fox, squeezed, you are what my heart is you sting, untouched by me , inside the ring, you will survive on the tablets, there were many fantasies, tell me, light, these are her sufferings, now... if they had not existed, but such a great thing would have been born? no, of course, of course not, she was there from the beginning, look, please, please, all her photographs, do you see her smiling somewhere, never, well, i haven’t seen akhmatova smiling anywhere,

why, she has it such a light smile, here you go, look how she felt, we can come up with anything, but i always read the words to the person himself in letters, i lived to see the juice i didn’t have written, and you can also call poetry the person who would love me more than anything in the world, why does everyone... have, i don’t need, my fire no one needs it, you can’t cook porridge with it, she also said about herself that she has a soul instead of blood, and fron said that she is an absolute naked soul, this is not efron, he said, it was marina who called herself, she spoke and he did not speak that she followed her, he repeated after her, it was she who said, i am a naked soul. it's not blood that flows in my veins, but the soul, i

i taught my soul to live outside the windows, i looked at it through the window all my life, i didn’t let it into the house, just as they don’t let a yard dog or a delightful bird into the house, i made my soul my home, but never a house with my soul, i i’m absent from my life, i’m not at home, and my soul... he said, she, this is pain, plus, uh, everything, and i can’t even imagine with which of her men she would be happy, she was happy, with who, in a short time, was konstantin bolislavovich radzevich, and even by the end of my life, well, not by the end of my life, twenty-third year, it was twenty yes, she, he was 28, she was 30, she was older than him, it doesn’t matter, the most important thing is different, the fact is that she was older than

seryozha, efron, uh, she was for her in order to fall in love in her time, she needed to feel sorry, and chefron had something to feel sorry for, when they met, his brother committed suicide, his mother could not stand it and also committed suicide, he was suffering from tuberculosis, what else do you need... took her in her arms, as anastasia tsvetaeva writes, he went into her arms like a quiet dove, she immediately she grabbed him, this is the eleventh year, she took him to the kumysam plant in usen-ivanovo for treatment, it was all very good, but it was too early, too, early, yes, i wanted, i ’m here, listen, she didn’t believe that then sergei ifron, who served in his defense, wrote a letter to beria, knowing how dangerous

it was, that is, until the end of her life she looked after and loved , cared for, look what she writes to seryozha to her ifron, she was a hyper-responsible person, i say again, duty for her was above passion, in the seventeenth year, she did not knows whether he is alive or dead, she writes in her notebook, if god does this miracle, leaves you alive, i would follow you like a dog. it was an oath of fidelity that she never broke. and in 1938, when she was preparing to follow her husband to the soviet union, she wrote: “i’ll go like a dog.” this was the seventeenth year, and this was the thirty-eighth. she never conveyed him, she never, she said, said that he is the best person of all, only with him can i live, that’s how it is. how i live, completely free, he was the only person who understood her,

having understood, loved and was not afraid of her immensity, for some reason it seemed to them all that she needed something from them, to get married or something, she wanted to marry them, just imagine, such a simple person, and a genius, but she needed a spark , she didn’t need them for anything else, this is a prompt from the letter, and we continue to talk, about marina tsvitaeva , in general, what is love for marina, what is it? she says, if she talks about love, yes, let's say in a poem, i would like to live in my small town, it ends, and maybe you would even me they didn’t love, because love, for her, is love that is natural for children , for old people and poets, love is like a living, selfless need of the soul, in need: live a little, just be and don’t take your hand away, talk

to me, talk, at least occasionally, no more is needed, for her love is understanding, you see, here there is understanding, there is love , as for radzevich, since we have already started, light, please tell me, for now yes, but this is how she loved her men, pitied her, had compassion , she treated them with such attention, i kept anyway, back to the topic of children, excuse me, please, now i’m only talking about my son , that’s when she already decided, it wasn’t a spontaneous suicide, but how did she pin this on her son, she said, you say, explain that mom is already tortured , tired, no, she didn’t say anything, explain something, he shouldn’t explain anything about mom, tell me, he shouldn’t have explained anything, the thing is that she’s now uh, no, there i’m sorry, for me it’s just

incomprehensible , purr, forgive me, but it would have been worse, i’m seriously ill. it's not me anymore i love you madly, understand that i could no longer live, tell dad and alya if you see that i loved them until the last minute, and explain that i was in a dead end, her suicide notes, but as for her death, larochka, i’ll tell you i want to say that in our city lives the largest specialist in studying the life of tsvetaeva’s work, irma viktorovna kudrova, the only person admitted to the archives of tsvetaeva’s nkvd. efron, there is still no clarity about her suicide. i have been to elabuga several times, i have been to this the brodelshchikovs' house, on this half where marina lived, with mur, i saw this beam on which she hanged herself, this beam is for me

like this, in order for me to hang myself on it, i need to put it on my neck, what do i need to bend bend my knees, bend my legs, and have someone hold me by these legs, because if a rope starts to choke me here, the person starts twitching and stands on the floor, it was impossible to hang himself there, impossible, and who would it bother in that case, this is a very difficult question , and i don't think it should be touched now, because it is too complex, i want to first return to the children about love, everything is in lines, everything is in lines, they lie , written hastily, heavy with bitterness and negligence, between love and love my moment, my hour, my day are crucified, my year, my age, nothing was born without love, so very often she came up with this love for herself, well

, rilki, for example, well, rilki are rilki - by the way, it’s like a quantity, that’s what she came up with, for example , steiger, it’s actually funny, some year, at some party, there were a lot of people, she didn’t pay attention to the man at all, well, at all, and he, of course, is tsvetaeva, and he, of course, wrote her a letter, and how poor and unhappy he is, this, if you could dip your hand into your soul like into the sea, you would extract a hand full of you, she doesn’t know what he looks like, you know, but she writes, but she writes rilki too, she never

met him, but after some time she began to write to him, who dreams of sleeping with him, dreams of criminalizing him this is all a fantasy of her fantasy, but i want to tell you, continue about steiger, the whole point is that the most important thing about these was that later, as a result, brilliant poems, masterpieces were born, she writes him a cycle of orphan poems, she finally met the one i need, someone is mortal, i need... more please, lines, for the fact that with the ulcer he brought me a palm, this hand, he would immediately go into the fire for you, and then it turns out that the need that was dreamed of was not there, but there was sanatorium boredom, there was a desire to come to paris to go to mont parnasse, to a cafe where writers gathered, and marina

hated these parties, having already realized this by writing she epigraphs an excerpt from paterson's poem baby. she was very smart and self-deprecating. he walked along malyutka street, turned blue and was shaking all over, this is a hero. walking down the street, an old woman felt sorry for the orphan. she laughs at herself. the same story happened with bakhrakh, who, but about rilka, she writes, rilki is parsnip, right? i'm talking about parsnips too. calls out, look, when they first met, they had nothing to talk about, they were absolutely strangers, nothing happened, it happened again through a word, through a letter, to marina... the most the main thing was the non-meeting, don’t stop me from loving you, because she could come up with something that a person was not, it was enough

for her, as kudrova writes, a person’s love for nature, for poetry, for beauty, in order to create this image according to the highest model, everything she thought out the rest, but nevertheless, she still wrote: all her life she fell in love with the wrong people and her equals... she met only rilka and pasternak, one in writing six months before his death, the other invisible, not only in terms of poetic power, she, she could go krilki, she didn’t go, she was afraid of meetings, because a living person, a real one, he, he turned out to be completely different from what he was in dreams, so she, for example, wrote two poems to pasternak, usually they are read all distances, miles, miles. we have quarreled, we have quarreled, i don’t read him, the drunken hedgehog knows, but he has two short poems: in a world where everyone is hunched and lathered, i know one

is equal to me, in a world where we want so much, i know, one is equal to me, in in a world where everything is ivy, i know, you alone are equal to me, the second poem, written in vshinoras, where now there is a small tsvetaeva center, which was being created before my eyes, and we also helped a little, galya ivanechkova, it was created by a specialist in the marina in the czech republic, everything related to the marina in the czech republic, we were at the station and there are pillars there, and once upon a time there were slightly different ones, she named one of these pillars boris leonidoch, talked to him, walked with him, talked, but again loneliness, kudrova said... the last

two lines make my heart sink every time once, i bow to the russian rust, nivi where the woman lies, friend, the rains outside my window, troubles are better in the heart, you are in the horn of rains and troubles, what is homer in... “give me your hand to the whole other world, here both of mine are busy , she was hyper-responsible, hyper, she was responsible for her husband, when this story happened, this is love, her only, as she said, her only earthly love with rodzevich, look, well, when rodzevich was in the hospital, instead of... " yes, offer him real help, guys, you

're confusing her a little, she's a genius, she's a genius, don't it’s impossible to demand the actions of an ordinary person, a genius, time for yourself now, yes, to project, because we didn’t live then, i want to tell you, as for razivich, imagine her life as a sophron with children, marina the cook, marina the nurse, marina is a cleaner, marina is a friend, and where is marina the woman, where is she, so with radzevich, whom she called. my only earthly love, and the two best things she wrote, she has the best love lyrics in general, they were written to konstantin

bolislavovich razzevich, a mountain poem end, the mountain is a symbol of happiness for her, she lived in smichov, at the top, that was the top mountain, she even had a room at the top, this small balcony, we were there, we visited there, wait a second, you say it like that as if you are not a woman, listen, i remember those times, maybe yes, look, she, she really is a genius, maybe then, like marina, god, forgive me, you shouldn’t have given birth, that you’re cute, no, look, but i remember the times when we helped you pack your suitcase with yura, because you there was filming, you just... but you were enough for all this, this is nonsense, i’m not a genius, i’m not a genius, can i read excerpts from two of her letters, there are 31 letters left that

she asked radzevich to write, this woman’s document , please destroy, fortunately for us, he did not destroy and handed over to the lady in due time , here she writes, everything is clear here, when, by the way, he was asked about tsvetaeva more than once, he answered one thing, read the poems, everything is written there , he didn’t say anything, no, friend, there are such letters, when there is nothing to tell... dear friend, you brought me back to life , in which i tried so many times, but still could not live for an hour, you performed a miracle on me, for the first time i felt the unity of heaven and earth, maybe for the first time i’m looking for happiness , not loss, i want to take, and not give, to be, and not to abyss, people supported my duality in me, it was cruel.

i had to either heal or kill, you just loved me, i told you there is a soul, you told me there is life, you are my salvation, and from death and from life, you are life, lord, forgive me for this happiness and one more letter, i am obliged, i have a letter - ifrona to voloshin, that he was at that time, well, how is it, she was a deputy. and i can say the content, i’ll read it now, her love was absolutely carnal, how is this letter to radzevich, and then i’ll tell you about efron and about this letter voloshin, well , i also came across a mistake in 2007, i won’t repeat this again, so she writes to him , you are the absolute advocate of the world, you are absolutely, my harlequin, my adventurer, my night, my...

happiness, my passion, now i’ll lie down and take you to me, at first it will be like this, my head is on your shoulder, you say something, you laugh, i take your hand to my lips, you take it away, you don’t take it away, your lips are on mine, read, remember, close your eyes, remember, your hand is on my chest, remember, the touch of your lips on my chest, and then we will laugh, say to fall asleep , and when i kiss you at night in my sleep, you will gently immediately reach out to me, although you will not open your eyes, love me, and also, my dear dear, and also, you told me these words, which i hadn’t heard before, a whole new sky fell on my shoulders, i always wanted to love, i always frantically dreamed of obeying,

believing, being outside my will, being in reliable and gentle hands, they held me weakly, it went away, they didn’t love, they admired , i left him, i just didn’t belong to anyone, i wasn’t anyone’s, these are the very important words , this is the fifteenth letter, dear friend, our entire meeting was based on the truth, this is its only meaning and value, i don’t stop being with you for one hour by what i am. even if this way i will lose you, and before farewell, you also said, i will never leave you, don’t offend me again, don’t leave without saying goodbye, give me a date, any day, any hour, i need to tell you a few words forever, like before i die , they don’t refuse this, after this there was an end to the song, which means that

it’s great about the iphron and the letter. i don’t know this, i don’t know, my dear max, the only person i can tell everything to is efron writes, of course, no , this is not true, i’ll tell you everything profron now, well, larisa, he left to send alya to study, yes , and then this story happened, it was his friend konstantin bolislavovich, this was not just some vulgar adulterer, it really was real love, how it offended him and he had no offense, it was nonsense that burned in her stone anyway, listen to me , he arrived and felt insulted, and he told her: “oh, you know, i too” have

love, i also fell in love, and offended by marina, he sent voloshin a letter, where there was this terrible phrase that must cut it out and throw it away, marina always didn’t care, what kind of wood was burning in her fireplace, these, these are not words that do not correspond to the truth, that do not answer, but i want, you just have your huge, immeasurable love for marina, everything else, you want, i communicate with specialists, for example, when- then one very good artist, very good and very famous, said a wrong thing to the whole country, then everyone began to repeat it, which means there is such a poem, written to marina on december 12, 1923, just after efron said, that’s it, i love you too i don’t like you, they say i don’t need you either, go live there, and i

with himself, voloshinn at the same time wrote an offended and hot letter, marina writes poetry, you loved me with the falsehood of truth and the truth of lies, wave, you don’t love me anymore, the truth in five words, and this famous artist said, it ’s written, radzevich, this was written to efron, any major specialist will tell you this, to figure it out, 2 weeks have passed, she understood and decided that efron and alya would simply die without her, regarding the children, i would really, really like to say, because too

they throw mud at me, it means that i sometimes, i sometimes hall, i ask a question: raise your hand, those people who know what it is, not a single hand, larisa, in the hall, people don’t know what hunger is, i want to tell you a terrible thing, i know what it is hunger, what is it like not to eat for 5 days, 7 and dreaming about a piece of bread, what is it like not to have a roof over your head, i know that, you know, they don’t know, she’s children, even more vile acts, more terrible, but they are not marina tsvitaeva, in general , no one has the right to judge, it means it happened, time, light, look, but while

her children were in this shelter, she didn’t lie down on the bed , she didn’t, excuse me, rip off both of them, she didn’t go crazy, she had a relationship, she continued, let’s now remember how it all happened, she needed children it was extremely difficult to feed and bathe, she didn’t go to the pony , she didn’t become a prostitute to bring a piece of bread to the children, she’s all about love and soul, you know, my girl, that means someone told her that there was such a kuntsov orphanage, and what they feed the children there, well, it’s true, why not believe in it, look at it, but check, she didn’t go, well, why didn’t she go and take them there, she took the children there, irina. and alya both girls, suddenly at one moment, uh, news came, i don’t know how there were no phones, that alya got sick, and alya got terribly sick, the temperature was 40 and even

a little higher, and they couldn’t give her a diagnosis, she dies, and marina ran and took alya home, she nursed her, she didn’t leave her side, at that very moment when all this was happening, she fought for the life of her eldest daughter, irina died there in the shelter and no one told her didn't say they were there buried, she found out everything later, can i go further, we are talking about poetry, two hands, gently lowered on the baby’s head, there were one... for each two heads i was given, but with both clamped, furious, as best i could, the eldest snatching out the darkness, she didn’t save the youngest.