[000:00:00;00] before you pulled away, there was another emotion, at first you had a feeling, you just started to feel something, perhaps you were a little offended, perhaps, but you were, you might even want to get angry somewhere, yes, but then you once turned on a little girl who you can shout at, who you can lead, because she’s not there , she’s porcelain, i’m just usually aggressive, i usually pull away and i’m not an aggressive person, that is, i’m not... your usual mechanism, your strategy, freeze, you you narrow down to the level of a small cell, freeze and turn off all feelings, but tense, as usual, of course, because god forbid you feel something, god forbid at least some feeling comes out, and there you don’t know, what to expect from yourself, but you don’t know what to expect from yourself from your mother, because you can’t

upset your mother, right? i don’t want to upset her in any way, of course, you can’t let your mother down, but god forbid, and your marriage will be a betrayal of your mother, then there are two options, or you just wait time will do all its work for you, she will die, well, maybe you will have 10 years left to live, i’m afraid that she won’t survive my leaving the family, it’s very possible that you will hasten her death, or what? well, this is hard, then wait. it’s true that we now have better and better medicine, so she will live a long time, i think, and you, in general, will live a long time, life there will just be so-so, but you can wait, of course she won’t survive, because she’s from -for you, to a large extent because of you, i think how she behaves, at least this explains it, rather of all, she didn’t live, she froze and you froze with her, you’ll most likely do this now, you’ll come off the air , think, my god, what was it, it was

n’t me, it was someone else, there, you you will go under your lampshade and this will continue, i want my mother to be happy, so that i can have my own life, well, she probably doesn’t want that, so that she is happy and so that i can leave her, my mother is happy when you are around, mom is happy, when you are her pet, that’s how happy mom is now, you agree to leave yours, i wouldn’t say that she’s just a happy person now, that is, it seems to me that she’s the kind of person who also really needs a psychologist, but she ’ll never go to a psychologist, but the fact that she’s not, she ’s not happy man, that’s how you lived, three unhappy women, then there were two unhappy women, then there will be one , because most likely you will end this family with yourself, because you most likely, as tatyana rightly says, will not change anything, because that you will happily return to your usual

serpentari aquarium, i would even say, you know, you will return and you will find it... well, not to say great, but it will definitely be calm there, at least in that aquarium, you can be sure that you you know what can happen, you can cope with what can happen, and the degree of your tension, it is quite bearable, because if it became unbearable, you would have broken it all off a long time ago, but please tell me, you said what have you never had, serious ones? uh-huh, exactly there were no relationships, that is, if only dates with men, but there was never a relationship, well, in the sense of a long-term one, it turns out, yes, that is, you came on the first date, you came on the second date, yes, or you say, several dates, no, this is a more platonic absolutely relationship , well, just how to communicate more quickly, uh-huh , well, after all, this means communicating over some time, it was like that, either one

date or several dates. okay, let's remember some prince of yours, with whom you had at least five dating, it was like that, the prince there, not that prince, well, that is, it was just a person who invited me on a date, yes, you went on a date, went out to restaurants, maybe kissed there, i don’t know, on the street, yes, so, here is this man, here he was, yes, as if this was an opportunity to build a relationship, it didn’t even lead us to anything. well, of course, that is, he was a little bit complex in character, yeah, he himself even stopped these dates, yeah, understandable, but it turns out that you never let a person into your life who would come there, that is called seriously for a long time, not that i didn’t let him in, it wasn’t there, that is, there wasn’t such a thing that someone directly wanted to knock on my life, or on my heart, but i didn’t let him in, that is, someone had to come and you're

like rapunzel, then? in the fortress, he must come, conquer, but that is, i mean a person who would like me, who would want to communicate with me, go on a date, like there are social networks, you are a social person, you work, right? and who do you work for? courier, okay, so you communicate with people, here in go on public transport, yes, that is, there are men, men somehow still exist in this world, well , i don’t trust such acquaintances as social networks and meeting people on the street, i don’t understand how to meet you, if through some interests here and there, where i am, for example, for a longer time, but i am at work, or if i go somewhere of my own. interests can be, well, you’re hanging out with friends, let’s say there are friends here, yes, friends, acquaintances, you have a girlfriend, so yeah, well, you go somewhere there, some men meet there, but they are also new , what is the difference between meeting, for example, in transport, and

meeting at an exhibition, meeting at an exhibition, or in a restaurant, an exhibition, the fact that you can like me there by talking to me a little, how i can be liked on the street, but only if both outwardly and interestingly, and you view all acquaintances and, in general, all contacts with men through the prism that a man must first see you, be charmed, get through all your obstacles, win your heart and you take me away, but there i never heard that you might like a man, i’m a very amorous person, i’ll like every second person, that i’m very amorous, why don’t you open up? well, i don’t know whether a person likes me or not , i can’t impose myself, say, ask someone out there , maybe he’s not interested in me, you understand that you actually build the same kind of relationships with these men , as with mom, when it’s scary just, as you said, to get into your soul, that is, you are afraid, or even

to offend that maybe, i realize that i like someone and somehow offend him, you are all deceiving me, this is virtuoso skill, look at it from this side. the truth with which tatyana offers you, perhaps you will see that you are true, you build relationships with all people, and on the principle of not interfering, you learned not to interfere with your mother, and you diligently do not interfere with others, there is such a thing in this, yes , what not to disturb, this is, let’s say, i was taught this, so as not to disturb anyone, to be quiet, so as not to disturb the neighbors, well, i have this in me , because otherwise, what will happen if? you will interfere, others will be upset, who am i disturbing, they will be uncomfortable, what then , what will they do, they will be uncomfortable, they won’t like what they will do, wow, well, maybe they won’t do anything, but inside

it will make them feel uncomfortable , you are simply afraid that they will be uncomfortable, to do bad to other people, what should i do if you do bad to me, as i should, what kind of my reaction are you afraid of, how will you know that i feel bad, that i feel bad about you? if i interfere with you somehow, how will you know that this is so? you must have some kind of feedback signal, just biofeedback, how do you know if you've upset me? i’ll never know, but i’ll think that no, you’ll be uncomfortable, like your mother showed you, that you upset her when you were little, when you ’re little, you make noise, you’ll disturb the neighbors, what will happen, i constantly upset my mother, i’m for i blame myself, i was just leaving the house, that is, she left me in the yard and said, be in the yard, i’ll make something to eat there, i’ll call you, and i was leaving, i could have another area, to go somewhere, during this time, to leave by bus, she was looking for me all the time, she was in tears all the time, crying, running, looking for me, i really blame myself for this,

that i’m blaming myself like this now , what was happening then, then i didn’t understand it, i didn’t feel like you understood that you did something wrong, no way, i didn’t understand why she was upset because of this, nothing terrible happened, i’m just walking, how upset she is, she cries, scolds you, well , she doesn’t scold, she just cries hysterically, and says that it’s because of you, and you you don’t understand what this is because of, and i don’t understand why he was so upset because i just went for a walk, well, i mean, i’m just walking, it’s okay that you don’t leave anymore, that’s why you’re more and more don’t leave, you ’re really afraid of upsetting her more than anything in the world, and you can’t predict how you might upset her, so you don’t do anything just in case. this is the triggers with you podcast, hosted by psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya and psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. our guest today is maria. do you understand that can't you build your life without upsetting your mother? you have a new blouse, your mother is upset that she doesn’t have one, and if

you have a man, a family, she will be upset because she doesn’t have it. i think your mother will happily agree for you to get pregnant ivf, from the holy spirit, or from someone unknown. men, well, she doesn’t even touch on the topic of children , that is, she never told me how other children are told about grandchildren, she doesn’t need to, well , that’s right, but it’s better not to change anything, very everything works out conveniently. cher and you are around in the twilight, why do you need children, why does your mother need children, it just doesn’t fit into this, neither children, nor husbands, nor men, no one fits in, you understand that you cannot build your life without upsetting your mother, yes, this is what gnaws at me, you are ready to upset your mother, you are ready to leave your mother with her feelings and emotions, but no, it seems to me that she

will not survive this. mash, whether she will survive this or not, you will only find out by doing it, in general , everything should have been done much earlier, 15 years ago, you you just threw away 15 years of your life, you put them on the altar of serving the demon of your mother, not even your mother, as if your mother has, if possible, yes, such a concept. light and dark side, so you feed the dark side, there is your treasure, not only mother’s power, not only mother’s anxiety, there is some kind of excitement, there is your contribution, and your responsibility is that you feed the dark side of your mother , just feed your dark side by doing so, because at some point your love will change to hatred during her physical life or after her departure, it doesn’t matter, you will just wait for her to die, just hate this person’s memory of him, that’s

why you don’t have to do this, that’s why you need to upset her now, that’s what concerns your distrust to social networks, dating on transport and everything else, here i would recommend you to do a very simple thing, now you will go home from here, you will go by public transport, that’s right, yeah, meet three people, three people on the way home, just come up and say, can i meet you, they will think that i’m strange, but aren’t you strange? they don’t think like that, when you just walk around, they will think, this is their problem, your task is just to get to know each other, come up and ask, can i get to know you, someone will say, no, someone will say, are you stupid or something? -he will say, my name is vanya, petya, there, it seems to me, maria is now in such horror that you will just run away into the darkness together with the chair to do this, this will be the first step towards the changes you dream of, then more, then you will need to meet people every day, take such small steps, it’s not about mom, it’s about... you, this is your task - to start doing what you should have been

doing at 12, and your strangeness lies precisely the fact that you, at 35, live in the mind of a twelve-year-old teenager , after 12 years, in general, physically and physiologically, you no longer needed your mother, just as any girl after 12 years old does not need a mother for a boy there after 14 years, but you are still creating this painful and sick relationship with her, you will never get out of this, so if you want to get out of this, do simple things, just promise me now that you will do it, just meet three people on the way home, it’s not difficult to impose yourself on people, impose yourself, get acquainted, no need to impose yourself, your task is to learn how to meet people, you don’t need to analyze it in any way, you just need to do it, just promise me that you will do it, you don’t know how you will do it, you don’t know at what moment, with whom, just tell me, i i’ll do it, i don’t know, mash, well, if you can’t do this, how will you get married?

out of this box, you need to learn to walk, you see, it’s as if you haven’t learned this, you need small steps, so i strongly recommend that you do this, i thought i’d get acquainted, if i go to some places where i get some hobbies, if there are, then there will be men there and maybe someone will like me, i’m also you don’t meet for dates, meet just for communication, even just for a three-minute conversation, yes, through communication, because naturally, no, at first you need to get acquainted, first you need to get to know each other, and then there will be communication, now, when this broadcast goes out, hundreds of thousands of men will see you, i am sure that at least one of them will like you, maybe some of them will even start looking for you, now maria has another fear, why maybe that same principle, so - in order to prepare for this meeting, wow, start getting acquainted with... everyday life, that is, if i get to know

a stranger, it feels like i ’m getting to know him only because of his appearance, and i don’t know him anymore, that is, if i’m somewhere in somehow you don’t recognize him, i communicate with a group of people, i know the person a little and the person knows me a little, then we kind of get to know each other not by appearance, but by communication, super mash, but now we need to get to know these three people based on appearance , with whom you will meet today, we hope that you will get to know each other, it is not necessary to go on a date with all of them. just what is your name? my name is masha, you don’t even have to say anything more. you actually need to get a very simple thing, you need to get biofeedback, action, which will slowly form your social intelligence, then your emotional intelligence will form, yes, you are 30 years late, but you need to start doing it now, since you are here, okay, well, in general i am a sociable person,

just with those you know, yes i am i noticed, i noticed how you communicated when you were being made up, they were dancing inside you, apparently. from the outside, unfortunately, it looks like a wax figure , that’s the thing, believe me, our conversation today will only be useful to you if you do, and i think that many people who are watching you now will find it useful even from the fact that they heard the conversation with you, so i am very grateful to you that you came and really spoke, because this is a very big step for you, it’s like going into outer space , we thank you, we hope that you will still choose the bright side of you and your mother. it was the triggers with you podcast, its hosts were tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan, maria was our guest, and we fought around masha’s conviction that her mother would not survive any changes in her life. all issues you can find the triggers podcast on the website

of the first channel 1tv.ru. and i’m looking at you on tv, you, and i’m on... the sofa in the city , it’s raining, there’s a closure, the trams are stopped, ramanchiru, my love, i’m saving up a photo plan, i’ll come to you, i’ll fly to you, and i’m going,

i’ll settle next to home, you you will be glad to have such a neighbor, we are simple people from russia, i will immediately say great, and you will smile and tell me: i have been waiting for you! i've been waiting for you! i've been waiting for you! i've been waiting for you! i've been waiting for you! and i’m looking at you on tv, you, and i’m on the sofa, in the city of n, it’s winter, everyone’s coming out soon, the entrances will be blocked, trauma, cranial smear, my

love, for two planes i’m swimming in a crowd, far away, and driving, next to me. well, i’ll come without shouting, without noise, well, i’ll find some reason , i’ll say, well, hello, she’ll tell me, i need to start a relationship somehow, i’ll say, well, how are you even alive and healthy here, she’ll say, but in general volodka, he won’t start telling the story very well, yesterday, for example, tarantino came, got drunk

, and the drunken brute started pestering me, i then told him so sternly, client, maybe you’re saying, of course, you didn’t notice, but in general i i’m waiting for a drag and... and he says to you in front of this person they didn’t ask to come at all, it’s such a tops, think about it, it’s no laughing matter, in general it was difficult without you, it’s good that i came, i’m saving up to come to you on the voyage and i’m flying, and i’m going , i’ll settle next to you, you’ll be glad to have such a neighbor, we’ve grown up to be simple people, i’ll immediately say great, and you’ll smile and tell me , i’ve been waiting for you, i’ve been waiting for you, i think i

’ve been waiting for you, so i’ve been waiting for you . hello everyone, this is a podcast 20 years later in the lab podcast on channel one, my name is kostya mikhailov, my guest is the legend krestovsky, we just listened to the song uma

thurman by the group uma thurman. the song, it’s clear that it’s the title song, even though it didn’t come out first, the first one in my opinion, proskovye hit the spot for you, yes, yes, yes, but you decided to leave it like that for now, and then give out the name of the group as an explanation, it seems like, apparently somehow it was like this, i don’t remember well, yes, it was 20 years ago, i remember exactly that proskovia was the first, and then what the sequence was, i’ve already lost it, then there was a simpleton, a simpleton, by the way, a simpleton, oh, what a wonderful track, please tell me if i don’t now touch on some personal forbidden topics to whom the song simpleton is dedicated? the simpleton is not dedicated to anyone in particular, it didn’t start out about love at all, this song, i tried to convey the mood in which i lived for many years, when you believe in a miracle and expect it to happen, but it doesn’t happen, and for it’s obvious to everyone that this will never happen,

for me this song begins with lines, minute by minute the expectation of the impossible is crumbling, mm, saying goodbye to the dream, yes, then, when i started continue to write this song, it’s already a little somewhere in love, in love, and a little gone into love, well, in general it’s a song. about love from the beginning, i almost cried, when i listen, i always listen to this song, it is clear that everyone finds something personal in it, according to the moment, every person always forgives something or someone in their life - then, with some era, with age, with some person, with loved ones, with those who leave, and it’s very cool when you put in your own, and each then, that is, there is some kind of ambiguity of meaning, about all you can’t say that song like that, although...’ in that proskovie song, the girls in the video are all in tears, yes, what kind of story is this, did you just decide

to pat everyone on the head, everyone abandoned like that , or what? just like that, everyone thrown to pat, in fact, it was our director who came up with this idea, then we had director rustem nuriev, and he came up with the idea, it was he who came up with the idea? yes, yes, he said: i will film at my own risk, such a clip. yes, if it doesn’t work out, execute me, yes, so we went to shoot such a video, in the crimea, in the crimea, in gurzuf, gurzuf, yaalta, yes, such streets are just so cozy, and i am also sometimes inclined to look for subtexts that are not there, i think that’s how they came, that people have some kind of list or a map, or that, probably, two angels, everyone is crying, and they came to console them. or something else, and then it turns out there are just two tourists who were late for the bus at the end, such losers who happened to be there, just got lost, just everyone there is crying,

there is ivanovo, a city of brides, there is gurzov, a city of crying, still interesting the story is that we have a friend in yaalta who we made much later, since we were filming a video, and the motorcyclist we come to ride motorcycles in the mountains, in the mountains, right? that he lives 10 meters from the store that was filmed in the video, it was a pharmacy then , that is, there is a pharmacy there in the video, that’s where the curtain is, just in the song, the curtain, now it’s a grocery store, but it’s 10 m right from its gate, and we couldn’t believe it, we arrived there, we looked, something seemed familiar, some familiar place, listen, but it’s dangerous along the serpentine road on a motorcycle or or you... not along the serpentine, we follow these goat paths straight up the mountain, enduro, enduro , yes, yes, enduro, oh, how many years,

i broke my finger there last year, it seems to me that this is an unaffordable luxury musicians, especially... favorites of the people, risk breaking their fingers with their fingers, well, how are you going to play, he has many fingers, one, it’s not a pity, that is, he can play with three, some others, he’ll have to play a three-string guitar, yes, and the longest distance we rode a bike, or are you not talking about this story, not about touring, only in the mountains, he gave it to us there, no, i traveled, yes, i traveled from moscow to sicily, around there, well , i traveled all over europe and crossed america, where we crossed, this was already being stars or before, already after, before we had no money , we didn’t have the opportunity, even to the crimea, let alone cross into europe or america, but guys , do you remember, that was the period when you had no money, and what was your main dream, so i ’ll earn money and of course , of course, i just wanted to buy sausages, i wanted to eat, i had

a dream, we came - with my wife, yeah, and... they looked at the counters where they sold all kinds of sausage, the neighbors were all so beautiful, they looked that someday , i said, you’ll see, i’ll buy it, i’ll get rich, and i’ll buy this sausage, for you, my dear, just like that, yes, well, seriously, no jokes, i know that you worked very hard at different jobs, and there was no money, someone was a security guard at the morgue, seryozha, i don’t think you, i was a nanny in a kindergarten and you i was a nanny in a kindergarten, i don’t need to be guarded by an orderly there, it’s clear that no one comes to this place anymore kilometer, yes, yes, something with the lisars, something happened in your life, who, worked, you worked as a turner at a factory, yes, not for long, because i realized that you would get drunk, with turners, career,

you will become hundreds and future musician, you are in any profession. then i was a loader at a champagne wine factory, oh, that was the best wonderful job and somehow it brought some benefit, then i became of course it directly benefited everyone around me, and as for relaxation, i know that your favorite vacation spot is this still gorky sea nizhny novgorod romantic places. where i was, where there was a camp site, i read some very sunny description, cozy, sandy paths , there really is sand there, these are pine trees, pine trees, i think that this is only in the baltic states somewhere, i have one like this the song, it’s called a favorite city, just lower novgorod, and the third verse sounds something like this, a generation in the gorky sea, a turban for the comfort of the forest,

i took pearls out of shells, fed mermaids... from my hand, cool, some of us run ahead , others of us are lagging behind, but all this it doesn’t matter, we are just drops from this river, wow, this is just about our native camp site, our native gurkov sea, it seems to me that the main thing about you is still the texts, because you immerse yourself in them, you leave in them, you can do the same night watch, in fact, it’s just a retelling of the plot of the film, and an announcement of the next day watch, at the end there’s like, look, you know what’s going to happen? in fact, but you can listen to this forever, if the film even for the third time goes so-so, then this rap, or no matter how it’s not rap, maybe it’s rap, maybe it’s rap, most likely, they stood at the origins of the rap movement, listen, who writes the lyrics? bovka, bovka

writes, he’s guilty, yes, and the music is also guilty, you just don’t interfere. i have my own project, yes yes i am, what kind of project is it now sergei krestovsky, it’s just that i started this path first wrote and started writing songs out of envy out of envy i started and that is, you were the first of course i just see that he lives a very luxurious life life, his girls always have some kind of holiday, it’s fun, but for me it’s somehow completely different, and i thought, that i can’t write a song, or what? he took the guitar and started writing, and this is just chocolate, that is, there is a champagne wine factory there, songs there, yes , he was also very famous in our city, he was a star of nizhny novgorod, so we had several groups, kvn teams, and this is such bohemia i was, but i was like my younger brother, but i looked at it all from the outside and was envious, you were already married, i wasn’t yet, he wasn’t still little, but your wives were made up of admirers,

fans, one might say, beauty, beauty fan, beauty fan, but you you met even before you shot, well, with your first wife before that, now i already have a second one. now the second, and you, what, the third, the third, he is the eldest, older, yes, and the number of children you have is just off the charts, i watched a video about daughters, there are yours, as i understand it, only daughters, but in general you have number of children, how much in total? six, six, 12, six, like six, yes, we have you said six, i think that’s normal , okay, three, six, six, six, yes, with us it’s divided, i'm five boys and a daughter, ova has five daughters. boy, this is cool, you celebrate only children’s birthdays all year, you only missed one, but now my eldest daughter will be 23, and my youngest daughter

will be three, that is, they are exactly 20 years old and a few days apart, here are the lines in the song with a broken drunken face - is it about the eldest? this is about me, and this is the soul, i’m talking about my soul, but isn’t this my soul, i’m just listening to this text, i see cute girls, i think so, well, probably one has already grown up into all seriousness, no, no, she i am very, very cultured girl, face, thank god it’s not broken, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, she’s such a good fellow , there’s a story in my head with only dad, maybe, but sometimes, no, you’re in trouble, now not anymore, i just haven’t... gone out for a long time light, well, i was so friendly and i don’t drink, yes, but it happened, yes, in clubs, it happened, yes, after all , seryozha, yours, like boys, are peaceful or there too, no, mine is fine, athletes,

athletes, well, the younger ones, yes , the older ones have already grown up, they are already there, 27, they started playing sports, one musician, plays everything, piano, guitar, now the bass guitar, what’s your story? were you together? the idea came to sing something with one of the french, we began to look for who we could sing with, because there were different options, and somehow it happened by chance that someone had a friend, acquaintances right there and acquaintances over 30, we say: wow, cool, let's offer 30 -year-olds to sing with us, she somehow reacted like that right away, well, she often worked in russia, yes, she worked in russia a lot, her only condition was ... that the song should be new, written specifically for her, well, for me it’s as if it’s not a new thing that you urgently need to write some kind of song, yesterday, and also, you know, we have this song paris, i saw this video,

but i never got around to it, and in this video that was filmed in paris, pierre richer is filming, how old is he there, he’s 70 or something , not 74, in my opinion, he was at that time, but he came to filming... on a motorcycle, and he ’s generally handsome, and we’re with him, yes, we sat with him, drank this wonderful homemade calvados, which we were treated to there in paris, great, yes, we sang to him, talked, in chorus this song in french, the song paris, sounds like this, well, in french, as if we

all understood that it was french, so i told him. but unfortunately he did not understand that it was french, but for us, for russians, it sounds like french, our guest was the group uma thurman, vladimir and sergei kristovsky, this is a podcast 20 years later and hosted by konstantin mikhailov. hello, the program is on air, ekaterina andreeva is in the studio, the main event of the day. large-scale israeli operation in the gaza strip and new attacks by hamas among the victims of the conflict are russian citizens. what