[000:00:00;00] there, i got a room there, uh, by the mountain, i understand that yes, this is a desire, it’s true, i want to be with someone, i see it, i want it to be two whole people, and it’s a common space , in which there will be happiness, there will be love, there will be attention, there will be care, there will be some kind of team story, where we can grow together in this, as if you are already ready for this, i am ready, yes, i understand that i am ready and i’m ready to go consciously. that is, to build, i come back, meet a young man on a dating site, we we start correspondence, and this is the first person who doesn’t start asking for a date after 3-4 days there, but he drags it out, we correspond for a month, and he doesn’t disappear, he writes, hello, how are you, every day, stable, then i start to insist at a meeting, when 2 months had almost passed, that is, once he broke me down there, indeed, when i invited him, he said that he couldn’t, well,

okay. survived, then i insisted, after all, come on, see you, it’s time, the phone calls have already started, not just correspondence, we met, i invited him to a restaurant, but can i ask, bye, when the initiative did not come from him, all these 2 months, as you explained it to yourself, by unpreparedness, waiting, checking, understanding how much we are each other let’s approach this communication to the extent that he will be accepted, because he is an introverted person, so can i ask tatyana now, i ’m just wondering why such an idea came up to ask, why it was necessary to explain this somehow, i have a hypothesis, can i i’ll voice it a little later, of course, okay, so, first date, yes, here he is in a restaurant, looks at him, says, danya lantern, rice for 300 rubles, when a flight package costs 60, at that moment i am like a person who, as

they say, has already been on different dates. who is used to paying for himself in restaurants because he earns enough and can afford it, i’m sitting there like, well, well, well , probably, yes, i went too far, but i’m wondering if this is somehow strange, a date , here we are discussing rice, it’s still expensive, so what, well, she accompanies me to the subway, hugs me, it’s warm, unusual, warm, next... date, i invite him myself, pay us coupons for ceramics classes, he and i go, they tell us that you are a married couple, you have been together for a long time, yes, how many years have you been together? like, this is our second date, what are you? yes, you look like you’ve been married for a long time, cute, sees you off on the subway again, kisses you for the first time , okay, on the third date, i invited him

to my place, it was such an idea, have you ever celebrated catholic christmas? no, and neither do i, but let's turn on the nightmare before christmas, cook dinner and let’s note, for now it’s a dream, for now yes, here he comes, and at the same time he also says that the most important thing, i ask you, don’t try for me, don’t cook on purpose, i’ll come, you and i will choose food together, buy let's cook together, don't try, oh my god, the man of our dreams together, finally this is happening together. wow, okay, he comes, we have a wonderful evening, naturally, the relationship takes a new turn there, and we understand that we are together for all the new year holidays, he is with me, and then i say, well , come, it seems great, when we are together, such a forgotten feeling, i was just daydreaming a little while

you were talking, here it is, and there was the first bit that i recognize: after a while, he gave me comics for the new year, and i hate comics, it’s not my thing, absolutely, i love fiction, i love science fiction, i kind of get lost in this more, but i didn’t read this book, but i said, yes, great, thank you, but well, it’s a little not my thing, i gave him legos based on the stars wars because i knew he loved star wars because that i knew that he loved to design, he is an engineer, well, that’s the best gift. he’s a little childish, he’s still a child, he has a collection of tanks, and yes , then we came to these tanks, and you said insult, that is, you seemed to think that it was important, i should have been happy about it comics, but i wasn’t happy because i don’t like them, i honestly and openly admitted it, yeah, but the relationship actually started, i have a young man, well, i’m happy, everything is fine, but before that i was told for many years about that what am i without

specially. i won’t get pregnant, my provactin levels were off the charts, so i actually immediately said that there is a risk, a small risk, but if there is one, are you ready for something? yes, i want a family, yes, i’m ready, i love children, in general, how great everything will be if it suddenly happens, yes, good, i’m basically ready for this too, i got pregnant, i got pregnant, and he was happy, he jumped up and down ceiling, when i found out about this, i felt a slight tension, because what should i do now, and i was planning to look for a new job, and then plans change. the first fear arises, how will i cope with this? a terrible toxicosis begins, in the morning he leaves cookies and water there so that i can somehow cope.

i’m going through pregnancy, during pregnancy we have a lot of family events, my grandmother has a stroke, i need to go to another country, ah, i ’m going to her there to sell an apartment in order to transfer her to moscow, to the apartment that my mother and i were buying, and accordingly i meant that i would live with my grandmother, but did not mean that i... would go to relationship and also getting pregnant and planning something further, that is, this is the top of my mother’s pyramid, her plan, which was for me, yeah, mom, i decided, and i give birth to a child, go on maternity leave, my financial situation worsens sharply because i earned i’m twice as big, he was an engineer in it, my mother’s financial participation begins , psychotics begins on both sides, i develop urticaria, angeloedema every day, that is, i... i just couldn’t breathe, it’s every morning you wake up, everything is laid down on you, on both sides, on the other side you and your mom or you and your husband? my husband’s hands hurt, my husband’s hands constantly hurt, i understand that something is wrong, i offer family therapy,

i say, something wrong is happening here, because again, i ask them to improve our situation, to solve it, because i’m in a vulnerable state, and he says that he’s on good legs and he can’t do anything, i can’t... i can’t do anything, i say how you can’t, you’re a master, you can do everything, now we’ll do it , how can i help you, i don’t know how to write a resume, okay, i’m starting to give, i i’m writing a resume, i’m looking for a job for him where he will earn more, i’m promoting him to family therapy, yes, i’m starting to promote him, we go to family therapy, and they say that he has no problems, he’s happy with everything, you’re comfortable . you need to break off this relationship, i say, no, i won’t give up that easily, i don’t want to repeat the family scenario, i don’t want to be a divorcee, and no, no, no, no, no, no, that’s it, no, that’s it, goodbye , i don’t need any psychologists, i

can handle it myself, i take into account the literature, i study attachment theory there, because child, i also need to somehow, as they say, understand what works, while i ’m burning out, slowly but surely, i feel that my...’ life is becoming a swamp, i ’m alone with the child all day long, my husband is working, moving forward regarding his career, he has correspondence there with this charm, hello with emoticons, that’s also good, my mother is also moving there, she accordingly also has more important things to do, everyone is okay, but i can’t cope, i feel bad, i am falling into a kind of depression, and before that, accordingly... before the depression there was a peak moment before the start of his promotion, when he was just whining about the fact that he couldn’t cope , he couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t do anything, and his family didn’t participate in any way, but at the same time he played

a game with his mother, running away, that is, his mother was anxious, mom writes to him there, he does it on purpose, he sees it and he doesn’t answer, i was good , i sent photos, i tried to write, keep in touch, because well , it’s impossible, but they don’t come to the distance , it’s half an hour, they don’t come in my grandson, they don’t participate in any way, at one point i was boiling, i also said that how would you manage, help your daughter, they put him out, naked, abandoned him, my mother is also a cop , why should i help you financially, why in the middle of the night, when there is a child with a fever, do you call me, send me money, because we don’t have money for a taxi to go to morozovskaya there, why not him, but he didn’t need it, at the same time i see his parallel life, he sits in the toilet for hours, he plays games on the phone, he comments on articles, and this is a completely different

person, i read these comments, this is a different person man, this is a cool teenager, something like that, who teaches everyone how to live there, okay, aksan, what’s wrong with you now, let ’s go back to the present moment, what ’s happening to you now, now i’m already a mother of two children, so from him, from him, uh-huh, you ’re divorcing him? yes, i gave birth to my second child, then i had a re-consciousness that i no longer wanted this, i began to work, get back on my feet, i returned to my profession, at first i worked like a man possessed, because it was just such an unstoppable fountain of that what was locked inside me, i found myself i was in demand, someone needed me, there were several ways out of this relationship , the first time i drove him away, he went to live with a friend, played tanks, because at that time he had already been playing these tanks for a year, spent more money there, you brought him back later, yes, he burst into tears, said that he was homeless and he was done with his life, yeah, you brought him back, then there was one more moment, as i understand it, there was another moment, you said several

moments of separation, last year, and when i realized that i needed to leave and figure it out with myself, i can’t yet make a decision about the breakup, i left for tashkent, yeah, and with two children, alone, i wanted to leave with my family, i asked him, i begged him, with the last money, because he quit anywhere, he didn’t worked, sat at my house, played and ... i’m here in limbo with two children, money came, you returned him again next time, i came back, i entered this relationship again, uh-huh, now what’s happening, i i drove him away again, but i’m interested in something else, yes, i sat, it seems to me that i have never been silent for so long in my life, listen. vasya

i just watched myself from the point of view of what was happening inside me, and i would sit just like that, listen, i sit and think, what kind of state do i have when you speak and the way you speak, and this a state of doing nothing, that is, i don’t want to do anything next to you, i don’t mean you discourage the desire, i mean, like this, no, but you arrange everything so interestingly that i just sit and think, i should just sit straight and listen. it would be like going to a movie or a good production in the theater, i think it’s interesting, it seems like you came, well, to ask for some help, yes, but at the same time you completely deprived me of the intention to at least somehow help you, because you talk about your drama so beautifully that you don’t want to spoil it, you paint just like zhulev’s tray and there’s a pattern here, a pattern there, and such backs, and such backs, and i think how lovely, all the clients were

like you, you just came like that, you’re swimming a little, yes, but at the same time you keep your attention, you keep your attention phenomenally, and that is, you directly hold this attention, i don’t fall asleep, but at the same time there are intentions of this very same one, or there are intentions, a desire, somehow like to say, well, ask some question, i look at tanya like this , she asks a question, i think the person is interfering, sit and listen, can you imagine the state you put into, well, i won’t speak for tanya, they brought me in, i’m an experienced person, how do you think you did it, i don’t know , however, the fact that i toil in this circle, i understand that i can assign tasks to myself, deal with them myself and be such a hero , while i don’t want to become a victim in all of this and i don’t want to be a hero in all of this, why do you need us, why do you need people at all, why do you need people, why do you need husbands at all

, i don’t know men, why are you so self-sufficient, everything is so good inside you, you’ll definitely explain everything inside, i want to go outside, you want to go outside, then at least a little bit of reality begins in this sense, because you know, here imagine, you are such a cat mayun, and the cat is mayun, you know, this is a character, mythological, slavic, and his name is not bayun, but mayun, not bayun, but mayun, no , there is mayun, then there are different things, mayun is the one who creates this illusion. may, this is, so to speak, a commonality between indo-european languages, including sanskrit and russian, and from the word may, which is an illusion, in general, we actually have it in the russian language, and such a word, from this the word maygo, the word may there and so on, so look, you create such an illusion, create, create, create, create, at some point you yourself are confused, like, well like here, because, well, you formed a certain image of this man , he made it clear to you many times that he is not... the man you need, but every time you

managed to convince yourself that now everything will be , now we’ll do everything, i would ask the question, is he definitely not the man that is needed, perhaps he is just the one that is needed, but not the one that is expected, maybe, yes, there is a point here, about expectations, speak with your mouth , that is, i initially say that i love holidays there, i get important gifts, i want a snowflake there in honor son's birthday in the winter, please, there... but you don't even give the opportunity to insert a word and there can be no action there, you do everything yourself, what kind of flowers, you also need to find a space where. yes, you seem to be saying, but at the same time, despite everything, if you live the same way as you communicate with us now, and i’m sure that in general this is the case, then you don’t want to spoil anything, you know, you’re all they did it so well that i don’t want to spoil anything, but damn it,

she once literally made fate with wandering around train stations, an unsuccessful artist, and then he became famous and famous, the widow of the actor alexei buldakov, beloved by millions of russians... for 2 years she has remained silent about the misfortune that happened to her after the death of her husband, i cannot tell you how i i loved him, i loved him, i love him, for me he is number one, then she was accused of almost betraying the memory of the artist , they say she got mixed up with a young suitor who only dreams of getting his hands on all her property, it turned out the worst is ahead, at the moment at lyudmila andreevna's in general there is nothing, she has no apartment, no house and no land, so you took the apartment. real estate, the essence doesn’t just begin like that, our exclusive is the bitter confession of the widow of alexei buldakov, who, relying on her loved ones, lost everything, these are not relatives, if there were relatives, they would be completely different, exclusive with dmitry

borisov, premiere, on saturday on the first. mankatcher whiskey, a product of the stellar group. a heavy self-propelled tulip mine of special power is capable of destroying a serious enemy fortification in a few precise shots our work is so hard, we don’t call it stressful, but it’s better not to relax, i volunteered to arrive, i’ve been here for a year and a half already, i don’t want to change, i don’t want to leave because my team wouldn’t exist without me, here ’s the dugout, the ground, the steps, wow, a washing machine, and this is a steam room, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh, guys, you must be an example for the personnel, so that they follow you and act just like you, shot, that's it,

we hit, we hit, we work accurately, every ammunition is on target, every ammunition dorok, here he is fries’s praised leopard, we are ready. as many as he comes here. premiere, special report, not a step back, on sunday on the first. this is the triggers podcast, and with you is its host, psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. and we listen to oksana's story. you said a very important thing at the beginning of our conversation, when you voiced your request, as if you had lost yourself in relation to and yes, so, you very clearly cut off, uh, two situations in your life where you are up to these delphic oracles , and after you got into a relationship, uh, i i didn’t sleep so that you understood, i listened to you, metaphors for this very illusoryness began to arise in me precisely when

you said that it was in delphi, because there are delphi, delphi in general, as if connected with a certain mysticism, and mysticism... is associated with deception, yes, in general , you deceived yourself very well there, in this sense , you have entered this circle of self-deception, i will call it that, i don’t want to offend your feelings , so, accordingly, you ’ve been giving birth to children there for 8 years, doing something there, you are trying to somehow improve the lives of other people, to promote everyone, where is it going, everyone is moving, i have no doubt, you can ride on your energy for a long time, so you said, i lost myself, and... i have a question for you: is that where you were with yourself until you were 24? mostly by myself, a smaller part probably by my mother, who, well, is her mother’s child, but i resisted a lot, i was uncomfortable, somehow with myself, but she, as it were , well, how to say, consciously carried out these

like mother's, pyramidal, pyramidal, mother’s tasks, so these yes, well, i received the answer that i had to obey, because in any way. in the case where i started the confrontation, i was bad, naturally, i’m bad, regarding the fact that i even had a very, as if very sharp reaction to me, you need to memorize it the way it’s written in the textbook, i say, i i don’t like to cram, i like to read, understand and retell in my own words, uh-huh, i can’t be a repeater there, i can’t be there, i want to build my own, uh-huh, okay, that is, you were mostly with yourself in this most, right? what part of yourself have you lost in this relationship, or what part of yourself, spontaneous, but emotional, because i... it’s like a frozen person with a concrete slab on top of me, i can’t move in all of this, i can’t

feel anything , i can’t be, and i can’t manifest myself, or i, for example , during our first separation in a relationship, i started dancing in the kitchen, when i cook, listening to music, dancing, which i haven’t done for many years, i’m not with the moment the child was born there, i didn’t listen to music, i didn’t dance, so i started dancing, in a relationship, i invite a person, well, why not, as they say, dance together, well , somehow, as best you can, it doesn’t matter, but it will show up, yeah, but the person prefers to just stand on the sidelines and watch, so funny, you seem to be surprised every time when you meet your husband , you seem to wonder every time why this person has no initiative, what is happening to him, why he doesn’t show any intention, as sergei says, why there is no impulse, but you chose someone like that man, that's why i asked you in at the very beginning, as you explained to yourself, that in general you built the relationship , you took him, and then you built a relationship with him,

he was just like such a cotton doll, but this is my feeling now, that even if you don’t to separate, not to go out, to experience this internal suffering, which now happens to me on a regular basis, when i sit and cry for days, but to return to move again and not see, but what are you crying about, oh broken one? a dream that i will not be from the amazon tribe, like my mother and grandmother, who were divorced, that i can, i can build a family, i can raise children, that it will be whole, that it will be alive, here, and this is the first moment, the second moment, that i could not help the person, i could not see him , no matter how hard i tried, when in our conflicts even i shouted that i was not... your mother, i don’t want to raise you, i don’t want to change you, please hear, see me, this is

who i am, he i said, i'm afraid of you, i 'm afraid of you, can i voice my hypothesis, come on, my hypothesis is like this, it seems to me, experiences yours are actually connected and not with your husband, with the fact that you can’t break away from your mother , in fact, this has nothing to do with your husband, everything is predictable with your husband, you took it, forgive me for saying that about your husband, there no disrespect, but you took a lack of initiative person who is just ready to be convenient, and you move on with him, and you try to build some kind of relationship with him, but in fact your experiences lie on a completely different plane, now this concrete slab is your mom, this is your relationship with your mom, not your husband, and worries, tears about the fact that you still can’t break free, you still can’t separate from the divide, this is to show independence, right? and here it is precisely this figure of the mother, which you again join, this of course greatly scares you, yes, but at the same time, the deception

lies precisely in the fact that this is not your fucking dream, yes , if you, as you say, dream of having a relationship , a family, it would seem that it would be some kind of strong and so on, yes, this is not your dream, then i think what and a key betrayal occurs, from which... it is very difficult to get out, because you betrayed yourself a little earlier, because if, for example, you want to be happy next to a man, then you still have everything ahead, no matter how there is no question at all, he 30 years that they turned around, got divorced, moved on, but in general, even with this man you can still be happy, you can probably be happy with this man, but happy, no matter how there is no question, you could be happy there anyway further, but this form, how would it becomes more important than the content for you, because pay attention.

well, i’m calling because my husband is not mine, let’s assume where from , what kind of question is this, what kind of question is this, why is she asking you this question, she initially saw that this relationship was dead, as she thinks, at least at least, well, yes, the last one was when i... said that i had been bawling all day, he said, why are you still crying, you know, severe devaluation, that you are crying, well, go ahead, humiliate yourself, call him back, that she lived well, yes, the house is dirty, i don’t care, he wanted everyone, he fed the children chips, what was good about it for you, no , why are you crying, mom, well, actually i loved you , the next day i ask, what do you expect from me, what do you are you going to start climbing to the top now? you will now go there, you will move and so on , i forgot how to do this, i could do this when i was fulfilling the plan, maximum

yes, when i needed to get out of the relationship that i had in tashkent, to leave all my... friends whom i acquired, move here, start working here, study in institute, that is, i worked a full eight-hour day, i studied in the evening at the institute, i slept 4 hours, 4, 5 hours every day, i lived in a one-room apartment, their sochimo, sleeping on the kitchen sofa, then a year later i moved out to a rented apartment, i went through all this butchering, then i could get out of it, move through the pain, now i can’t move through the pain, i don’t want to. to conquer again at such a price , that’s the point, you don’t need to do anything like that, oksan, here you don’t need to conquer anything, because finding yourself is in in general, to come to yourself, and here it is very important to see where you are leaving yourself, just learn to answer this question for yourself, and your body will help you in this sense, yes, which tells you psychosomatically, there are some clamps, i don’t know, nausea,

toxicosis, whatever, but it tells you when you are not there and this feeling is very difficult to confuse with anything? i have long forgotten how to trust in my reactions? you know, when you are told from childhood that something is wrong with you, and you think that your intuition is deceiving you, your body he’s deceiving you, you can’t trust anything at all, and oddly enough, you don’t believe anything, but at the same time you allow yourself to be deceived, but that ’s the point, because you live in this fairy tale, in which everything is absolutely not real, the only probably times when you felt real, well, unique or not, but the brightest one that you described was right there in delphi, where you felt that yes, i had escaped from one, but had not yet entered another, and beyond you took the train, made a huge circle and returned to the point where you were in this connection with your mother, oksana, remind me how your request sounded at the beginning of the program, losing yourself in a relationship, yeah, having gone through a relationship, yes, i lost

myself, i have an assumption that it would be correct to to reformulate, but i lost myself in the relationship with my mother, it seemed to me that with my husband, having given away, so here is the husband , you see, he simply performed a certain functionality, how would you put it, say so, now i am building a relationship with you, so as not to build a relationship with mom, for sure, that is he became a mother substitute, in this sense, this is the triggers with you podcast, hosted by tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan. our guest is oksana, i don’t know if you will return to your hypothesis with a question, tatyana , because i just want to go back to the moment when you asked the question, as you explained to yourself, but it’s not his initiative, come back , please, you took it off the tongue, i have a question, but i would have asked the question a little differently, and i want to draw your attention to this, as i promised at the beginning

of the program that i will return to this, you are very easily responded to tanya’s question, as you explained it to yourself there, lack of initiative, yes we call it, now it’s like that, now we know about it, before that you described it simply, i say, stirlets should simply come to the music, 17 moments of spring, and you responded very easily and began to explain accordingly and with such joy, you know, sat down on such a psychological defense , which is called rationalization, yes, one of the favorites, of course, i understood it then, i understood it then, why did i ask the question, why is it necessary explain? i would still ask the question, how did you feel when a man does not answer, when a man does not insist, when a man does not take the first steps, what did you feel at that moment, that you had to rationalize it? anxiety, what were you worried about? about the fact that there is something wrong with me, and they don’t choose me, they don’t choose me, yes, so he never chose you, and i’m afraid

that my mother is also not indicative of this attitude, because my mother seems to choose you only when everything is fine with you, yes, but you are real, weaker there, there too stupid, sometimes aimless, sometimes lazy, that is, all those qualities that, well, because i said at the very beginning of your story, i said, while it sounds like a dream woman, and you are that, there is a dream woman, a person dream, you are a dream friend, well, you are wonderful, this is wonderful, but you feel very lonely inside there, yes. because behind all this beautiful spacesuit, i see a tuna , very small girl who really can’t cope with what ’s outside, and as if you haven’t been in a real relationship yet, you’re already a mother of two children, as if you have never been in a real relationship , you need to get out of there, recognizing absolutely all

the qualities in yourself, all the flaws that are inherent in other people, recognizing, understanding, but moving on, without creating illusions, your task now find a way to get out of this spacesuit, cool daughter, cool mom, cool wife, cool friend, cool woman. class teacher, class employee, well, you just need to get out of this spacesuit and really feel the pain that you have been avoiding for so many years, and may not to choose, but yes, there is of course such a risk that they may not choose, but otherwise they don’t choose people who don’t choose themselves, yes, but otherwise you seem to be married to yourself, yes, you seem to be in a relationship with yourself everywhere, there is no other person there, you do not allow such an opportunity to encounter this reality , you create such a cushion between you and other people, it is closed very much by actions, activity, this contribution, giving, as you call it, support,

advancement, all this , in order to not to collide, not to show your real self, i noticed this in myself, that it’s easier to blind such a golem, yes, yes, because i ’m not sure that i can handle it, because i’m not sure that i can be there for you joyful, happy, happy with everyone, here’s a simulacrum , here you go, i have an assumption that you don’t really build such close relationships with children, but replace it all with this activity, i ’m breaking through, i’m breaking through in this, and it is because of the children that i understand what i have the first point is not to inflict psychological trauma, and i realized that without inflicting psychological trauma, it seems that i am inflicting them, that i begin to stuff the child with knowledge, i begin to force the child there - more precisely, turning the child into perfectionists, of course, but by inflicting you simply inflict

at least by your absence, because you are not alive, stop the race , oksan, really, try not to avoid the pain aksan, find your own way to experience the pain, where is the real loneliness, where it really hurts from not being taken away, and at all in principle, to get acquainted with... you see, then you will only begin to get acquainted, otherwise the creation of this shell, this tool , you will pass on further, and it will be more improved in your children, do not pass on this baton, can i ask you what the most it was important today for you, what you endured, living through pain, growing through pain, i really really don’t want to do this, and what i’m faced with now, when, well, the relationship... ended with me constantly asking, being constantly in a position asking, that he has debts family, the fact that the financial situation is difficult, yes, i work, but this is still not enough

for a family of two children and two adults, then he continued to simply live separately, but the person decided to disappear, it seems to me that the very beginning is only now, and he disappeared, lived in a change house, somewhere on a construction site, and i called, i said, how is this possible, then tell me, you give up children, you give up everything, i miss you too, i filed for divorce, it’s sad, but i expected this from you, i can’t resist your decisions, i can’t do anything, i don’t feel like i’m everything change anything, wait, seriously, you don’t care about me so much, i feel like i’m probably making a mistake, i’m destroying what you and i seem to be talking about together, he’s wonderful to you. it seems to me that he is wonderful in this sense of showing, so yes, he is so comfortable, you watched the podcast triggers with you were its hosts, psychologist, psychotherapist,

tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. you can watch all podcast lab projects on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. hello, this is the podcast of mount fire and i, its presenter denis gorelov, with a story about the main trends of national cinema, a digest of the most important national film innovations of the last 30 years, and the extent to which this influences the current state and development. national cinema, the country is developing quite intensively , and we live closely, since last year we have already begun , in my opinion, the third period of national development of a sovereign country, and the first passed in

the nineties, it was a time of absolute anarchy with the complete absence of a state, such a process often happens when there is a change in the socio-economic structure, something similar happened in the world during the great french revolution and here: during the october revolution, the state was slowly dying out, a new one had not yet been born, so there were problems, and the main spokesman this time, according to the general consensus... with the film brother and all his other films, how much time they spent in my apartment, you can’t imagine how much vodka they drank together, all the musicians hung out at my place, i was the only one my own apartment, one-room, but my own, all the musicians were jostling in sterlovsky, everyone

fled there, somehow. when, well, when everyone left, it was in these conditions, in fact, that a new stage of balabanov’s cinema began, he once began with productions of kavka and becket, i was very interested in the sim twins, i read books about them, there were also czech girls, the same , well, that is, i was interested in everything about such ugly things. i suddenly read about these people, i didn’t know about them, about the fact that people are masochists there are, but in the year ninety-seven my brother came out, from that moment his cinema began to talk about

a man’s preservation of self-respect in the complete absence of the state apparatus , and the word man is very important here, because all the feminist heresies of that time still came from a post-industrial society , from the push-button economy, which of course equalizes men and women, in our situation, where the share of physical labor is still strong and there is no one hundred percent safety, therefore, when to protect neighbors, sometimes it is also necessary to use physical effort; a woman in these conditions always loses, simply because she was not created for any physical effort. atuyara would have been very strong, the main character of the film would not have died, in georgia 200 he has extremely nice characters from the south-east in kochagara, the main character, and also in the failed film the river... in which all

the characters died in a car accident, the current asia of the south-west and the caucasus , he was quite ferocious, for which he was actively criticized and persecuted by the russian liberal the intelligentsia, and the world community, the cinema community, simply did not take his films into the competition. here - there was even some paradox, because not a single picture by the person holding the palm of national cinema..." the championship within the country did not participate in competitions at international festivals of class a; in cannes, any subsequent film by balabanov was necessarily included in information screenings, but his competition have never taken it in my life, just fearing that suddenly some of the jury, filmmakers would like this movie, everything can be expected, they will take it and give the victory to balabanov to allow this... from

the point of view of western cinematography it was completely impossible, there was very little money , practically none, on film, on camera, but i filmed in all the places where i know something , seryozha, an unusual, very such a character, and then we sat on the beach in a cafe, drinking beer, i think, i don’t remember, it was sunny during the day. it was day, i told him, let’s make a movie together, but there won’t be any money, he somehow simply said, go ahead, that’s it, i didn’t take him as an artist, but a person who, well, together with me , i wasn’t a director yet, so big then, although i had already made three films... i had directed

professional films before that, i mean, but i didn’t feel like that. balaban , perhaps, didn’t give a damn about this, he followed his own line, as was sung in the songs in the film brother-2, and i suggest watching a fragment from brother, which quite fits this line. come home with us, it’s good there. i will, but what are you doing here? but i like it here, america has all the power in the world, where is the power, brother, right? what, money is all the power, brother, money rules the world and the one who has more of it is stronger, well, okay, there’s a lot, and you’ll do something, i’ll buy everyone, and me, danilo was a man

who could actually arrange a goat horn, and the front-line past was openly discernible in him, every time he rented an apartment, he looked through and found out escape routes, back doors, and so on, having arrived in st. petersburg, he did not immediately go to his brother and perhaps he himself could not explain why, the first he spends the night somewhere, either in the attic or in the basement, among garbage bags, but he comes to his brother already armed, which is also important, perhaps he wanted to feel the revolver in his pocket, this is very serious and says a lot about the person, while they said about brother danila: everything was done well by a professional. it is deeply paradoxical and symptomatic that a wonderful biography of alexei ktebrinovich was written by the lady who is the main lobbyist for domestic feminism, at least

among film critics, maria yuevna kuvshinova. marusya thus stepped on her throat atlantic song, although it acted in a purely american... style, it did not express its thoughts about certain paintings, but chose approximately 20 people who knew balabanov best, including people from his circle and people from the outside are able to appreciate it from some neighboring territories, it warms me that i was included in this number, and maria herself spent hours interviewing... these people with a voice recorder, about alexey himself, about how he understood the life around him, it turned out pretty a voluminous picture, which, in general, was recognized by the entire russian public, went through several reprints

of the book, completely meets the task, but the truth is, masha seems to have felt that she was too led by the character and began to publish her texts about what, in in particular, as it seems to her, the main character of the film brother is not brother danil himself, but, uh, a german, as in general , a person, a bearer of a moral imperative, who utters the most accurate and important maxims, and on this score, to this i will say that with the same success we can say that the main character of the book about baratin is the cricket, he is also the bearer of the moral imperative, he , too, says the right things, but still, frankly speaking, the main character is the acting hero, the wooden man buratin, brother and he himself was in some way

a wooden little man, he could protect himself completely, but frankly speaking, only a solitary person is completely invulnerable, people who fall into the same orbit with him turn out to be prepared... and as for his girlfriend sveta, then fully understanding the abomination of his own brother-in-law, he calls him from her apartment, and thus sets her up, because brother vitya immediately writes down the number, and then leads all the gang on him, just as he is taking a very big risk in the criminal’s apartment... director stepan accidentally wandered there, to whom danila says that i, of course, don’t really like directors, but you’re a normal guy, no one will touch you here, i promise you, after which he completely irresponsibly leaves to watch butusov, and if he hadn’t returned and delayed at least