[000:00:00;00] courage, catch, catch courage, catch courage, courage, catch, catch courage, catch courage, if you are with me , this podcast is 20 years later, and i and its host, our guest is mr. small, aka andrei tsyganov, andrei , hello, salam to everyone, you are the first rapper who practically agrees with this status? i certainly agree, but there are other people who did not agree, for example, such as the bachelor party , bogdan titamir, beth belans, vlat valov, yes, vlat valov is the director of russian hip-hop, by the way, i will agree with the bachelor party

if that, they admit, i will also agree, yes, yes, in fact, it was a lot of fun tours, where we went together, the bachelor party and i, there are a lot of all sorts of stories, but unfortunately, not a single one of them can be told, not a single one at all, not a single one at all, listen , well, vlad the boss, valov, how did he perceive you, what kind of relationship did you have, and well, in general for this whole rap party, i’m a former shkket, such a younger brother, the son of a regiment, a hip-hop regiment. that’s why they customized some things for me there, some jeans, sneakers, because then, unfortunately, there was none of this to buy just go to the store and, like, pick up some old school adidas, unfortunately it was impossible, you could only make it easier , you could, yes, from the boosters somehow, and you

were too small for an iron, but no, i don’t care i already communicated at that time, i communicated with them and they also urged me on, because at that time i was, it seems to me, pretty well packaged, remember how you started making music, how it all began, it all started very simply, i was in my very childhood , well, at the age of four, there, five years old, yes, ah, when we were walking there on the playgrounds, i of course liked to climb everywhere there, yes, all that , but the main story was to climb the stage and i don’t know, read poetry, sing some songs in english, that is, somehow express yourself and cut out the applause, this was somehow sewn into my consciousness right from childhood and then i went to learn to dance, uh, well, before that i knew all of tsoi’s songs by heart, and i

’m still there somewhere at a concert or... if a movie group is playing somewhere, i immediately remember everything by heart from my subconscious, all the lyrics, this is unexpected, what is the connection with rap, nothing at all, how did hip-hop cover you, at what moment did hip-hop cover you, this means my dad, he was a submariner, and he periodically brought some cassettes with disco, and some kind of record, we had modern talking at home, that is, this is the sound, it was already somehow integrated into my life then, a little integrated, my father brought it from sailing, yes, yes, they, they they brought some cassettes, and it was kind of fashionable, yes, and i naturally listened to it, that is, you were such a major, yes a little bit, well, no, no, after all, i wasn’t a major, because that’s what they are, that’s all i had , well, from you, father, you swam, or rather, forgive me, went abroad, and brought you something, well, that

’s the point, he brought you something. chewing gum and brought muzlo, and it was of course valuable, well, he brought a camera , a poloroid, well, that was also cool, yes, that you can take pictures right away, you have pictures, so, but in principle that’s all, that is, he gave me jeans i still didn’t bring the sneakers either, well apparently he had some other values, perhaps, and god bless him, so after listening to all this, i saw somewhere that enrollment was starting for a school there, back then it was called rap dance, that’s right, well, it’s a brek, according to essentially it was, yes, it’s a break, there’s all sorts of tops, there’s all sorts of popping, locking and so on, yeah, that’s it, but in any case, my brother and i went there to learn to dance, and there i somehow joined this hip-hop party, started hanging out in all sorts of places where

breakdance dancers gathered, somehow taught me how some recordings came, for example, there was a group called thermonuclear jam, a group called bet balance, and a group called bachelor party, a group called oak guy, that is, it was all on cassette tapes, i listened to them, learned from them, one might say, the oak guy readings were there, yes , i learned to read on them, and somehow, well, yes, both there and there the dolphin, too, at one time i joined this party, that is, for me, it was important for me to come everywhere, get on the stage everywhere, dance everywhere there, take chips from older dancers, and somehow i gradually joined in, after that it means we we met the group thermonuclear jam, at that time i was their fan. and, again, i knew all their texts by heart and we decided with them, and there was also a screw, there was also a retc

here - hotings, so with them we decided to make such a semblance of russian criss-cross, well , it all started with the hatab and tengiz, they were the main two, yes, they were a thermonuclear jam group, but at the time when we met them, there was also a turnip mc and a screw. screw - by the way, he is also a very legendary person, he did very a lot of music for detsel, for example, he was a member of the detso group, which later turned into the ulyblyty brothers, yes, that is, he did so much for russian hip-hop. so you moved from tsoi to hip-hop, but can you imagine or portray tsoi in rap? give me some kind of beat, i don’t know how to jam, i have the maximum, no, yes, no, it seems to me, and there’s no need to somehow

turn the tsue into rap, he has his own path, do you remember your first fee, what do you need spent it, i remember the first money i earned, not there i don’t know, without selling newspapers, not without doing anything there' yes, that's when i made money from music , from my skill, we were coming from a dance class, that is, from these dance lessons, we had a small get-together, i don’t know, there were 10-15 people there, and at the crossing in the gostiny dvor on neevsky prospekt, and i ran out in front of the boys and began to read something to them, probably thermonuclear jam. they stopped and let's start pumping, suddenly it was , well, it was kind of early evening there, well, it was quite crowded, and people began to stop, one of

our dudes came up and said, okay, no stop, come on, and in short, i continued to do this, some mountaineers came up, and took out three rubles, and just started throwing them away like that, in short, three rubles in packs, right? my boys rushed in like chick-chick-chick-chick-chick, they collected everything right away, yes, some guy with a bungee came up, started playing something, tapping, in general, we don’t know, in minutes it seems to me, for 15, well, they collected normally, such a small pile of money, this was the very first money that i realized that yes, you can earn money with this, cool, you can, then later, precisely with from the performance, i think it was either at petropalovka, we probably got 150 or 100 dollars there, and we somehow spent it, and i realized that it was like wow, wow,

this is me i came out and read out, and i only had four tracks, yes, so i came out and read out, they kind of gave us money, and i already received some money just for reading, just for the project, mr. small, cool, he also started dancing on the street right away a crowd formed around me and they also started putting money in my hands, if i suddenly thought of putting some kind of cap in front of the mophone, but very for some reason, the police immediately formed and swept me away, practically always, they didn’t sweep you away, never at all, not once, well, we actually did this, that is, it was impromptu, that is, we did this unconsciously, it’s just me too, i just had a wave going, so i got it as a sman, you know, i put it on sometimes i started dancing about if there was some container nearby, it was completely by accident, yes, it was st. petersburg, i remember victory park, arbat was, well on arbat it’s normal, but you don’t come in, i still spend april 1 on arbat,

of course, of course, always respect, so that’s it, it was, that is, an expro, and it wasn’t important to me that now i’m dancing there and reading and earning some money, yes, what they throw money at me, and they reacted to me, these are my boys, it’s just important for them to do this and that people were in favor of it, they’re done, that’s it, so we did everything very quickly and left. that is, you are so affectionate may, your boys, andrey raizen, like, who produced you, seriously, how did it start, this is by the way, very, very such an interesting question, because recently there is such a producer , evgeniy orlov, he says a lot there that like i’m the person who generally raised a little, and thanks to me he became some kind of star there, in fact, it was so, evgeny

orlov, unfortunately, we really wanted to work with him, because it turned out that he is a real live producer, yes from st. petersburg, he says, well, like , i can’t deal with you separately, but here’s a teenager show, like we can take another team to complement it, and it’s kind of like what we have there they promised us some mountains, some videos, some albums, in the end, yes, indeed, we recorded the first four tracks. at the forum studio, but nothing seemed to go further, that is, the album i will die young, which we already had ready and which we were ready to record, unfortunately, we could not record with this producer, the video i will die young, which was filmed at the time when we worked with evgeny orlov, like we worked, it was also filmed, like - the boys, tengiz and hot wrote neon boy for the group a song, yes, which is a sea of ​​generations old, in my opinion, as far as i remember, for this song and... generallov paid 150 dollars and this is

the money that we spent on the video i will die young, well, like if this is the work of a producer like this , well, i generally have a lot of questions, nothing else has been done, for example, there is also one for 150 dollars, yes, but this clip also flew into these central channels, so this is generally the coolest achievement, as for evgeniy arlov there producer of mr. malov, and igor silverstov, after all, with whom we met in 1993 when we arrived in moscow and worked there at the jump club, respect to him, because with his actions, his connections, his work, he was able to bring this project to a pretty cool level, and initially it was going you, who asked to join them, but this is not what they asked for, this, this

is what we discussed, yes, we had such a joint idea, and not only there, and not only there, it was hoting, yes, that is, also there were two key people too, i understand there’s just such a legend that you said, guys, you cool, you just literally approached them on the beach and said, you guys are cool, just take me as a backup dancer, they were like, damn, there’s a group like chris cross, chris cross, who. in general, the situation is such that i really approached, and it really was on the beach, because we were there, well , we were all sunbathing there together in well, on one spot in sosnovsky park sosnovka, so i really was their fan, because once again i i knew all their lyrics by heart, i had so much energy that i just i wanted my manifestation, it doesn’t matter what it is to dance in a group, come on, i’m ready there , like i’m... to perform somewhere else, to read somewhere, come on, i, i’m weird, i’ve never

done this, but i’m ready to do it, there was so much energy, and just when evgeny orlov appeared, there was also this energy, but there was no place to realize it, now with igor, seliverstvo, we organized it and this was already a professional level, yes, yes, this is the kind of energy i had at that moment the concept that it’s like guys, i don’t even know that money is not an important story, just let me read, give me a stage, give me a camera, i’m ready, yeah, that’s it, but when the big money comes to you, there’s a big fee, for what you spent it, do you remember, something significant that you bought, uh, for some reason it seems to me that there was no such thing, that is, any money that came to me, firstly, it seemed to me that it didn’t matter to me i miss them a little, yeah, well, i didn’t have...’ such that i bought a car there or bought

an apartment or something else, all the money that came in was spent, as it were, here now, on parties, parties, yes, mr. malov’s party, in general, which never ends, which goes on around the clock, 7 days a week, and it doesn’t matter , where it is located, in st. petersburg, in moscow, in some other city, it was enough , no matter how old you were, you had enough health, because probably as a child i did so much... i played sports, uh, any kind of sport in general, that’s just everything that is possible, football, hockey, in winter, in short, i remember about fencing, swimming, in short, well, that’s it, that’s it, i was an omnivore, and i liked everything, and i was fed up with everything, all of this went along with the money into parties, just some kind of professional, probably, yes, but, but, but, in fact, it’s not professional there was never sports, yes, it was like that, it was always in motion, and this is always in motion , it remains now, and you wanted

to travel with this money, see the world there, or you didn’t have enough time, yes, i wanted, i really wanted , but i actually also have a story about and... like , of course, i always like to travel there and see other countries and so on, for example, in ninety-seven or ninety-six, in ninety-six, probably, and we should have had a tour of germany, we should have had about 10 or 12 concerts in different cities, we were traveling carmen, i’m a bachelor party, i already have a passport , i’m 16 years old, i’m a star of the russian... headquarters, everything’s going on , i come, which means i have to go through control, and they tell me, at this, at passport control, they say, oh where is your permission from your parents, i’ve been living in moscow for a couple of years, yeah,

i rarely call my parents, but where are they, i already earn much more money than my parents, parents in st. petersburg, parents in st. petersburg, and that means they tell me this, and i start, why, i have a passport, i’m generally like, here’s a box of cassettes, in short, which i’m taking with me, a box of my cassettes, i say, let me give you half a box of cassettes, please let me in, they tell me, no, it’s unrealistic, we’re bothering, i’m calling dad, dad, because he there's a military submariner there, he's through kranshtat, through his people, there commanders-in-chief, he sends it by fax in an hour and this is permission to poison, but while that hour was passing, the plane with everyone, with the whole party, flew away, and apparently, okay, okay, it came there with all sorts of military seals, like dad

i don’t mind, my mother doesn’t mind, everything is clear, the next day, in theory, i was supposed to fly away and catch up with my people, so, guys, we come and they say to me: what, like, now we are letting all passengers through, yes, that’s it, we have permission, that’s it, yes, papers, yes, ticket, yes, everything, clearly, now they say we are letting everyone through passengers, then, and after that, like, we’re seating you, but here there are also four people who are also from previous flights, i’m already so nervous, it means i ’m standing at this counter, they let everyone through, and i’m like , well, when they... they already tell me, sorry, there are no seats, they took two other passengers, i say, you ’re on tour, that’s all, and in short they say, sorry, you won’t fly today, and most likely this one your ticket, it’s also somehow canceled already, and the picture just looks like this, i’m

15 or 16 years old there, i’m walking through the airport, and i’m just swearing so loudly at this whole airport, i don’t know how they won’t get me there... nothing, but i’m just there with all the words that i knew, and i told them, and in short i didn’t fly anywhere, so i’m going abroad - i love it, but i don’t always go there, you see i get there, i’ve never met this border guard or the border guard that didn’t let you through then on tour, remember me, remember, let’s turn to him now, come on, here’s the border guard, border guard, you know the joke what else? after that, that's how he didn't get me released, an hour later, when the paper arrived, their shift changed, yeah, the next shift supervisor said, but i would have released, just think, how is that even possible, the border guard who didn’t let me out, of course, i want to say,

damn it, but that’s all - i have become a little enlightened, i am engaged in spiritual practice, so live in peace, but know that i did not earn quite a large amount of money because of you, and i did not see my first love, who lives in germany since my school, from -for you, and in general, somehow there’s an open gestalt left, so, by the way, it’s necessary it should be done simply. tour in germany, drive through cities, everything will be fine, and i will forgive you immediately after this , but while you have such a stain on your karma , do you remember the moment... when they began to recognize you, i remember the moment, you know, when i

i just felt like this is glory, this is what i remember, this is such a moment , this is, uh, i was walking home from school, well, like, i’m already reading, damn, it seems to me that this is 13, yes, well, like this is at the very beginning , 13, i’m walking home from school, nothing interesting is happening at school, it’s just there, like, i’m going there walked. because it’s like you have to go there, why go there is unclear, what they can teach me there is unclear, all these teachers who tell me, all these texts, well, i don’t want to be like them, yes, because unfortunately, i have there was an ordinary average school and there, well , maybe there was at most one teacher who was interesting and authoritative, the rest was just sitting around. and i’m walking home and from several

windows of houses along the road they’re playing my tracks , and here i’m about to come to such a realization that it’s like, wow, this is already cool, there were moments in life when you immediately understood that now i would die young , well, of course, there were such moments, there were quite a lot, for example, in st. petersburg there is such a tunnel club, there was, there was such a tunnel club, this is the first club that was, and was, the founder of the development of electronic music in russia, that is, this club culture generally came from there, which means i periodically went there almost every day, which means that one day i became emotional about something, i had some kind of acquaintance... i see this

friend is standing and talking to some, well such a strong - a skin-headed, that is, a young man, and i’m a little guy there at the age of 13-14 years old, i go up to this muzzle and say: this is a bixa with me, and i don’t even understand, in short, what, well what were they talking about, and it kind of turned his mind around so much, he was like, what, and this dude, in short, took me by the throat, lifted me up like that, and then i realized that damn, somehow everything is not going according to the script, not according to the script that i came up with for myself, so perhaps, in general, they fit together much better than her and me. yes, well, in general, then i had some kind of rethinking and general filtering

, uh-huh, for example, there was one of these examples, then - well, there were quite a lot of extreme situations, but probably the most dying young, this happened at the turn of the nineties, 2000, well, from 2000 to 2002, the first one you were in rehabilitation, but you rehabbed in earnest, and then it turned out that living in sobriety is much more interesting, and then there are all sorts of you know, very subtle states, when there, well, people who meditate there, there are people who do yoga, people who simply do some kind of spiritual work, and with themselves, they go to some other levels, which are much more, and you started doing yoga

meditate, i did yoga, not only did i do yoga, i am a certified yoga teacher, firstly, secondly, my friend yulia and i opened a social movement in st. petersburg called generation yoga, and which was absolutely not about money, but about there is this knowledge, and there is... all different, different, different, different facets, different directions, well, there is a lot of yoga there, yes, there is ashtanga, kudali, hatha, yoga flow, yoga nidra, taichi, taizi and so on further, these are all some facets of yoga, so we came up with a story that we have a social movement , where we bring all the facets of yoga to places where there is no yoga, and this is all interesting, for voluntary... yeah, like , in order to remove all obstacles as much as possible and

bring this knowledge to the people here, in short, as much as possible a lot, just not... several thousand people there have passed through our movement , a lot of teachers have passed through, we do yoga, we apply meditation and we inflict enlightenment , there is no more alcohol in your life, and i have been leading a healthy lifestyle for more than 20 years, you also don’t eat meat cleanliness, and there was a time when i was a vegetarian for 8 years, now i have an excursion into the world of meat, but does it tell me something? that i’ll probably go back in the near future, there ’s a maximum of sinning with a fish, and somewhere like that, i still know what i do from time to time i’m starving, imagine the biggest record i had for 42 days, i was starving for 42 days without eating anything, and here he sits alive, those years on tour, do you remember them with the fans

stirring up something, of course, i still actually remember, i don’t know how- can you imagine, it sunk into my soul, i was in volgograd, and after the concert she comes up, a girl alone , just like that, the cutest with an ideal figure, with big beautiful eyes, just like an angel, in short, i just can’t forget her, can you imagine how much once i was in volgograd, that’s how i wanted it, so that... “ah remember, but it was me, i was just waiting, can you imagine this kind of magic, and i didn’t try to find her anymore, damn it, i don’t know what happened, yes, either i didn’t write down the phone numbers at all, or, i don’t know how it happened, you can be found on social networks, let’s connect hearts, you can

turn on camera, here’s your camera, to this volgograd girl, just tell me everything you think about her, and so that she finds you , you are my precious woman, uh, that means i would really like you to be on some social networks she found me, and somehow she made a noise, as if she made herself known, because it’s fleeting, this moment of tomo, uh, what happened between us, it, it was so cool that i can’t forget it to this day, that’s why if you can, show up, great. these are the moments our life consists of, this podcast 20 years later my guest was andrei tsyganov, aka mister maloy, aka andrei maloy , aka goga, he is a zhera, just a small one, at first they called you small, and then the guys , why they attributed it to mister, no, they just call it small many, yes, if it’s just a small shkket, it’s already small, so, but to add

, so to speak, the solidity of the scene after all, man, so we decided... that it would be misty, be that as it may, everything was fine and the way it should have been, we are not destroying the space-time continuum, we are a podcast 20 years later , i am the host konstantin mikhailov, mr. maloy was my guest, we make podcasts, we go to podcasts, yo, funky, mami, kick your feet, fankita momita , bonito, funky, mami, move your legs, flankita stress, zumba and pilates, mista

pray, your instructor. a mamita, bonita, funky, mami, move your legs, funky, mamita, bonita, 1, 3, 2, 2 , left, right, magnificent bravoz, tempe, energenti, krutenty, taza berenti, badrito,

for sexy si, tres, dos. chiri amplitude, levo -pravoz, vyalikalepna prazvoz, tempe, energenty, krutente ta zabedrente, badrito exerciser

for and mami move your legs, fonkito momita. hello, you are watching the podcast triggers with you, its leading psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya , psychotherapist sergey nasebyan. oksana is our guest today, and we’ll find out what she’s up to came to us. hello, oksana.

hello. i came with the fact that it seems to me that having gone through marriage, i lost myself, being a rescuer, being an eternal helper, from beginning to end. and now i’m at the stage of making a decision to leave the relationship and i just got ignored , uncertainty, the disappearance of a person and i ’m very confused about this, scared, anxious, it’s not clear whether i’ll do it right or wrong, because all this is spinning in some kind of whirlwind , where there are mixed feelings that are impossible to sort out, where am i going, am i in it all? oksana, tell us a little story, how long have you been in the relationship, the relationship was almost 8 years old, yeah, ah

, it developed as follows, i was 24 years old, i felt at the top, i fulfilled the plan that my mother expected of me, i received , i moved to moscow, i got an education, i built a career. i reached the position of head of a department in a machine-building holding, again a person subordinate, active life, exhibitions, events, while i felt that the main area in which i was simply zero - these are relationships, i run away from them, it’s difficult for me to stay in them, because a certain selectivity begins, i feel sympathy, i begin to analyze, but i can’t stand my own emotions, i pour them out in the form of poetry, then little by little, little by little. i start to go out, i understand what’s wrong, i feel great anxiety and run away, then i decided that i need to move towards a family, i want a family, i dreamed from the age of 7 that i would have a strong family, i

would have two children, eldest son, youngest daughter, i will realize myself in this, definitely, and on over the course of a year, i get into different relationships, i observe, i understand that he, well, here i’m not okay, here i’m not okay either. then a vacation happens, i go to greece, there for the first time in my life, i probably catch great pleasure from solitude, in fact , being in delphi, near mount parnassus, it was a spontaneous trip, it just happened, it came into my head, and i i went there alone, rented a room there, near the mountain i understand that yes, this is a desire, it’s true, i want to be with someone, i see it, i want it there were two whole people, and it was a common space in which... there will be happiness, there will be love, there will be attention, there will be care, there will be some kind of team story, where we can grow together in this, as if you were already ready for

for this, i’m ready, yes, i understand that i’m ready and ready to go exactly consciously, that is, to build, yeah, i come back, i meet a young man on a dating site, we start corresponding and this is the first person who starts asking for a date after 3 years there -4 days, and they’ve been corresponding for a month and he doesn’t disappear, he writes, hello, how are you, every day, stable, then i start insisting on a meeting when 2 months have almost passed, that is, once he broke me up there, when i invited him, he said that he couldn’t, oh okay, we survived, then i insisted, after all, come on, see you, it’s time , phone calls have already begun, not just correspondence, we met, i invited him to a restaurant, but can i ask, bye, when the initiative did not come from him, all these 2 months, as you explained it to yourself, by unpreparedness, waiting, checking, understanding that

how suitable we are for each other in this... i can ask tatyana now. i wonder why this idea came up to ask, why it was necessary to explain this somehow, i have a hypothesis, can i voice it a little later, of course, okay, so , the first date, yes, here he is in the restaurant, looking at the lanterns rice for 300 rubles, when a bag of rice costs 60. at this moment i am like a person who, as they say, has already been on different dates, who is used to paying for himself in restaurants, because he earns enough and can afford it let me, i’m sitting like this, well, well, well, probably, yes, i went too far, well, i’m wondering , something is somehow strange, a date, we’re discussing rice, it’s still expensive, then, well, she’s escorting me to

metro, hugs, like, familiar, warm, next date, i invite him myself, pay us coupons for ceramics classes, we go with him, they tell us that you are a married couple, you have been together for a long time, yes, how many years have you been together? , this is our second date, that you, yes, look as if you have been married for a long time, cute, sees you off on the subway again, kisses you for the first time, good, third date, i invited him to my place, it was such a fix idea, have you ever celebrated catholic christmas? no, and i don’t, but let’s turn on the nightmare before christmas, cook dinner and celebrate while the woman is a dream , bye yes, here he comes, and he also says that the most important thing, i ask you, don’t try for me, don’t don’t cook on purpose, i’ll come , you and i will choose food together, we’ll buy it together, we’ll cook it together, don’t

try, man of dreams together, finally this is happening together, wow, good, he comes, we have a wonderful evening, naturally, the relationship takes a new turn there, and we understand that we are together for all the new year holidays, he is with me, and then i say, well, come, it seems great when we are together, such a forgotten feeling, i was just daydreaming a little while you were talking, and at the same time there was the first bit that i recognize after a while, he gave me comics for the new year, and i hate comics, it’s not my thing, absolutely, i love fiction literature, i love science fiction, i’m kind of like i’m getting lost in this more, but i didn’t read this book, but i said yes, great , thank you, but well, it’s a little not my thing, i gave him a lego based on star wars, because i knew that he loves star wars, because

that i knew that he loved to design, he’s an engineer, well, that’s like the best gift , he’s a little childish, he’s still a child, he has a collection of tanks, and yes, then we came to these tanks, and you said it’s offensive, that is, you seemed to think that it was important, i should have been happy about these comics, but i didn’t i was happy, because i don’t like them, i honestly and openly admitted it, yeah, the relationship actually started, i have a boyfriend, well, i’m happy, everything is fine. and before that, i had been told for many years that i wouldn’t get pregnant without special therapy, my provoctin level was off the charts, so i actually immediately made a reservation that there is a risk, a small risk, but if there is one, are you ready for something? yes, i want a family, yes, i ’m ready, i love children, in general, everything would be great if it suddenly happened, yes, ok, i’m basically ready for this too, i

got pregnant. i became pregnant, and he was happy, he jumped to the ceiling when