[000:00:00;00] better, although it hurt a lot they beat me, very much, and billy, the most offensive thing, my colleagues beat me the most, and although they explained to me, why are you surprised, well, what do you want, and what was the most offensive thing from them, to hear or learn, well, a lot can you tell, especially what can we? forgetting about this podcast together is weak and telling each other about the bags of everything that turned out to be behind our backs, god bless them, but the worst thing i remember is when my friends, well, colleagues, because i can’t call them friends, 19 years ago they began to take away the theater, and

when on june 12, 2000 of the fourth year i was supposed to have a rehearsal of the play, which was called everything like people do. and with what wording did they try to take it away? and they had the same wording. and i didn’t want me to be in this theater. that's it, nothing more. in short, a person came to me who at that moment was the head of, well, then it was called the cultural department. these departments have not yet been completed and he said: on the table of lushkov, who at that time was the former moscow, there is a document about your removal, if you have time to do something, try, this it was a national holiday, it was the day of russia, june 12, i had an invitation

to the kremlin for a reception and instead of attending, i asked trushkin to get better and i said lyon, can you move the run, i need to leave, he asked what happened, i say, later, i don’t want to now, i went, i... resolved this issue, but this scar on my heart remained with me for the rest of my life, i continue to communicate with these people, what a horror, i understand you, i i know, i never hear it in their ears, i don’t , i don’t remind them, they can’t help but understand that i

remember this, it’s inconvenient for you, you even feel sorry for them. yes, well, maybe, maybe i’m sorry, because when i asked, i said, guys, you wanted to take it away, and what did you want to do there, they told me quite sincerely, we wanted to remove - all the rows in the hall, put tables and do it like a corporate... comedy room , well, yes, well, yes, but why did it have to kill the theater, uh, why not build another room then, do it, especially since i told them, i told them, guys, so that you don’t have it, this is the most important thing, so that you understand, an envious person, he doesn’t envy because you have it, but he doesn’t, he may have 100 times more, well, so that you don’t exist, and you know that you and i were both

born illegitimately. i have a dash on my birth certificate, right? yes, my mother left, and now i can talk about it, all my life i was jealous and made up stories about my father, and i, well, he’s still alive, and i always wanted him to bite off his legs , it’s just that he didn’t raise a girl like me, his wife didn’t allow him there, you know, and i wanted, and i wanted to be better, more beautiful and for everyone to talk about. everyone said everything and he knows this all his life too, these are also my teachers, these are also teachers, i don’t need to pump myself up for a long time , i have everything here, like this, here, you understand, that’s why with you, well, it’s been with you for a very long time, because i i because i, as one person said, i’ve been living for a long time

, i had reason to observe - the entire period of your appearance and your heyday and finest hour was all about illegality, that means.. the biggest shock for me was when at the beginning of the 21st century i found out that from 1975 to the end of 1982, i lived in the same house with my father, i didn’t know this naturally, but he knew, but how, he knew, but what, then one day he was no longer alive, i knew he had left, i was already at the variety theater, and the secretary said to me: you know, some woman, i really wanted to talk to you, she said that she was friends with your father, here

she is i left my phone number, maybe you can call her, honestly, i started thinking, maybe i need something, she’ll ask, i didn’t want to call, then i thought, okay, i’ll call so that later i won’t... suddenly this woman says to me: you’ll forgive me for disturbing you, the fact is that i’m many years old, i’ll die soon, i have to tell you something, i was very friends with your father, me and my husband, we were your father’s closest friends, well, well, he loved you very much, i listen and think: he loved you so much that he never found me in his life, you didn’t know yet that you lived , no, it was all before she, and my mother, excuse me, already knew that he lived, my mother did not know and was never with him

never met, never, never, she came to me, she’s not like that, but if she knew, she would have said, or it was a taboo, she wouldn’t have said it was a taboo topic, i have never asked my mother anything about him in my life, once, in 1980, i received an envelope, in this envelope there was a photograph, on the photograph, on the back of the photograph there was an inscription: in this photograph your father is as old as you are now, he was photographed in military uniform, this is the forty-fifth year the end of the war , it really was like that, he was on it the photo is 35 years old. then it turned out that it was his wife who put it in my mailbox, this envelope for me, my first reaction was

even kind of disgusted, suddenly this woman tells me, you know, in general, he lived there with his wife, with two children, in your house, i call my friend, and i have already left there, i call him and say, you can go to the sixth floor, because they told me that i need to look at the apartment according to my desk, i lived on the fourteenth, but how this woman told me, he lived on the sixth floor, he says i'll call you now, he's gone. and says: there lived a family, a husband, a wife, both of them are no longer in the world, and there are two of their sons, that is, these are my half-brothers, these are not hers from a previous

marriage, these are your blood, that is, from your father, from my father, well, it’s a step-by-step , she has a mother, then we have different different mothers, it ’s called blood, one mother, once half-brother, blood. that means, now, okay, then i find out that the younger one is not very healthy, i don’t know whether he’s alive now or not, he once threw himself under a train on the subway, this is the younger one, and the older one was really looking for me meetings, i thought it was 2010, i thought, well, we should probably meet , well, something like that, i said, you know what, come to the theater first, well, at least we’ll go through some steps, rapprochement, yes

, after our conversation, there was a pause for several days, during which time i suddenly read an interview with him in some yellow newspaper, because he immediately became, uh, a star. star, they started interviewing him there, and he told very bad things about my mother. i read this, then there was a performance that he came to, i sat him down right in front nose, he was sitting in the first row, that is, i had the opportunity to sometimes glance, by the end of the performance i realized that i had nothing to talk to him about, i didn’t want to talk or communicate, nothing, okay, but he didn’t burst into the rattle room after, no, no, he didn’t burst in, maybe he understood what you read, no, no, i don’t know, but he started

pressuring me through the media there, then, it means, suddenly, this woman, here who called, she told me that i was talking to her about something, she said: you know, tomorrow is your brother's birthday, it... was a summer month, i'm december, and it was some kind of, now i'll tell you, some july or august, like that, something like that, yes, july, probably , it’s his birthday tomorrow, i say, well, okay, i just have to tell you how he was born, i say, well , tell me, she says, mother, he held you in his arms, well, how many 7 months, 8 months. was not there, she came to him and began

to present me to this woman, as material evidence, what a scumbag her husband is, after this story, the picture for i was turned 180°, i realized that this man had lived all his life under wild fear , which was caused... to him by this woman who gave birth to a child prematurely that night, she had contractions from stress, and apparently she did not forgive him until the end of my days, even when i had already moved into this house , and i was already in status, that’s it, i was already art, everything, she knew everything, and he knew, she sent me this envelope in the eightieth year, why took so long and boring... maybe a story,

i don’t blame anyone, i’ve just become wiser over the years, in this sense, i’m not a judge of anyone, you a lawyer to everyone, yes, and a brother, i am not a judge to anyone , and even to those who wanted to take away the theater, although many of them continue to look into my eyes to this day, i look at them with regret, all the same, life is of course. yes, they will also finish this road, let everything be fine with them, i have nothing to share with them, i am a happy person, i lived my life in a lot of love, why should i complain, i can’t just have everyone adore me and kissed, from head to toe, well, that’s not...’

so that’s why sometimes, to say something to yourself know, i open it and think, you see some kind of nasty stuff, read it, then when i read it, i think, shame on you, why are you writing this, i close it, i think i should complain to larisa, larisa says, don’t read it this, and i’m listening, i think, if i hadn’t read, where would i now find so much... to tell about it, and which one do you like better today? yes, of course, of course, because i stopped being, i was very prickly, very, well, like that, well, because

it was necessary, well, for me. you didn't have to survive, you, right away, you didn’t have - yes, you didn’t go through the middle of the stars, you didn’t go straight after your culinary genius student, you became a star overnight, just so i don’t forget, after covid, i’m actually a culinary engineering student - this is my kind of sexual male psychotype, because i can’t love a man physically, i can’t marry him, if i don’t feel sorry for him, i definitely need to. compassion and pity, i need to take care, there is so much mother in me, i probably should have had a dozen children if my mother was with me, so cool man, he doesn’t make me feel sensual, like absolutely nothing else. i don’t not love him, i need to take care of him, his legs turn gray, i need to cook him soup, which means he has a sick stomach, in the morning he has porridge in bed, then i love him physically, this culinary engineering student, this is just mine, here i am i would marry someone like that, and why am i

saying this, because you immediately became a star and were loved by everyone, you didn’t have to knock on doors, you didn’t have to ask for television airtime there. it's still possible, it's possible still - 3 g of truth? can? well, of course , lord, this is an illusion that i have heard throughout my entire life, it is very pleasing to the ear, but now let’s operate with facts. so, i come, well, that’s it, thank god, i graduated from the educational institution , and among my teachers, among other things, i also have olga aleksanrovna, by the way, i taught on the course, her hope, yes, nadezhda brought her at the school, and olga aleksanna came herself and brought

a messenger with her, and fate met me with the messenger when i was 15 years old, about stadium. after a football match he stood drunk in line for a taxi, oh, my god , i saw a live messenger, and i was with a friend who lived in the same house with me, and he asked, looking at us, if we wanted to go for a ride , well, from the dynamo stadium, and he... was driving along gorkovo, we got into the car, i’m just neither alive nor dead, some kind of messenger for, he, without turning his head, says, driving past one house, that in in this

house lived his teacher, alexey deniz diki, such a famous soviet artist, director, and without turning his head. he told us: you approach this house, bow down to the memory of this one, then suddenly, he turns to my friend, and my friend was in puberty and his whole face was covered in bumps, and he doesn’t turn his head, he eats with the driver, because well, he’s a lot, he could drink a lot, in general, he was like that, he was talented, he was a very fantastic artist, suddenly he says, turning to my colleague, you’re crushing, well, he was so

confused, he says, yes, he doesn’t turn around, his head, so looks straight, i press, he says without pause, you need it, you’re 15, several years have passed, and he comes to the school to teach, and he walks into the school, there is no one in the foyer, and he is alone, and he is a handsome man, and i run up, he is clearly drunk and says: “ you can buy something here somewhere, i say , here on pravda street there was a chic grocery store, yes, he gives me money, that means he gives me money, he says, go buy me a beer, and then they say: keep the change

for yourself, i came to the actor’s house in 1998 , on his seventy-fifth birthday, came out and began telling the first lessons of the master, he sits, laughs, genka, says, i will kill you, i will kill you, don’t tell me, don’t tell me, and this recording is alive, it exists, hello, this is a podcast of the psyche and we, we continue to explore the depths of our underwater psychological worlds. the topic of today's podcast is no coincidence, because october is breast cancer awareness month. we will certainly defeat cancer, well, in every sense, we will win and in general we will defeat it, but sometimes

it is very difficult to believe in it at the moment when you find out about your diagnosis, about how to survive cancer, about how to stay healthy, full of strength, energy and with a normal psyche, today we will speak from the heroine who is passing through right now. hello, hello, with my colleague, colleague in many ways, we will talk about this in a little more detail, this is anna tarubarova, journalist, oncologist and cancer educator, hello anna, i understand that you knew each other, online, yes, that is, you, yulia follows anna as a science blogger, now you are right here with us for the first time seeing each other, for the first time for the first time, yes, for the first time i heard yulia’s voice, usually i have all the ideas about girls exclusively. by correspondence, when i found out about my diagnosis, i immediately began to look for someone who had gone through a similar path, i found

anna, she seemed very beautiful and strong to me, so i decided to write to her asking for help, i beat my cancer for more than 20 years ago, and my remission, thank god, has lasted for many, many years, although it should not have lasted so long and i should have been sitting here with you, but nevertheless, when... my doctor, who was not just an oncologist, but also an oncological psychologist, and then it was a big a rarity, she told me that you know, 10% depends on me, well, on her, as a doctor, and 90% is your mood, that’s why i would like to conduct our conversation today in this way, not just you know, in this way positive , everything will be fine, the three of us know that this path, it is so difficult, let’s be honest, in different ways. it happens, and it happens in different ways, but let's talk about the different fears that

the patient, his relative, and society have to go through, this is fear number one, it seems to me, the most important thing that prevents us from being healthy is the fear of, well, a potential hypothetical diagnosis , the fear of saying the word cancer, yes, a three -letter word, that’s also such a super stereotype, well, yes, that’s why we have to say the word cancer if we do n’t , we will pronounce it like some words that have already taken root in our lives, and therefore i think that the taboo from this word needs to be removed, it seems to me that the taboo on oncology generally needs to be removed, that’s why the more people, those who actually survived this disease, will help other people and, well, you know, how little good one thing is, as if one did, another did, a third did, you won’t notice, it will become normal and not in the sense that the disease is normal, but help, awareness,

and people will stop seeing this, they will stop thinking like i did that that’s it, i’m dying, right now, right immediately, and why did i think that, because well, what do you see, hollywood films, the main character dies from cancer, and you look, now by the way, i can do more to say that i watch these films with such a feeling, you know, i close my eyes like this, yes, because every time, every time, either he dies of cancer, or she dies of cancer, and this is certain, this is this there’s this bald head, there’s this wild weight, you know all this, around this there’s growing this cocoon of some kind of sinisterness, and people are watching it, it’s kind of like a movie, and it can even end well, but they have it in their subcortex that cancer means bald heads, death, suffering, pain, horror, and there is no cure. that there is, well, since this is an american film, therefore, well, if they didn’t cure her there, it won’t be cured here by itself

, cancer phobia in society has just some off-scale boundaries, have you ever thought about it, that is, the person doesn’t go to be examined, because he is afraid to find out if he has something there, it’s not even a diagnosis, you know, as if it’s something bad, something bad, and thereby delays the start of treatment, if there is one. yes, this is basically what you have to fight with, and when i did it personally coming told me about my diagnosis on social networks, i was in no hurry with this, i probably had some kind of journalistic approach in the first place, because after the diagnosis i spent about a month searching for words to tell not that oh, karau, something so terrible happened to me, no, but i did coming first of all in order to... tell people that this happens, and that now we are together we will walk this path. people knew me there as a journalist, as a mother, as

traveler, this happens to me ... history, here we see you, yes, this is apparently a period of chemistry, right? this is already when the chemistry is completed, this is the kiwi period, that’s what i call this period, this is the beginning of chemotherapy, here i am fresher, here i like that i am so bald, fashionable, but, in fact, i wasn’t worried, and why i decided to tell , in order for people to go get examined, because i was the person who didn’t even have an idea that, it turns out, we need to do an ultrasound, it turns out there is. mutations that congenital, that cancer is not an offense against men, yes, a very popular story, if on this side, on the right, yes, you have breast cancer, the first thing anyone writes to you is that you are probably offended by some man, and here there is an offense on parents, this is such a popular interpretation of psychomatic - various evidence -based concepts, when, because here we cannot just, you know, take now to zero out

the entire layer of science, which also speaks about the stressful nature of some. oncological diseases, but how do our people interpret it, yes, of course, it’s a different story, but everything is clear for me, i can directly cover the ace and say, i was born with a mutation, which means that i have an eighty percent chance of getting cancer, everything is like mine, sisters, mutant sisters, well, look, here there is, on the one hand, a person’s fear that he may get sick, and the fear of finding out the diagnosis, and the other option is oncophobia, this is oncophobia of society, now there is no such mystical horror in society of a cancer patient, that is, if 20 years ago you they said in all seriousness, listen, somehow already in remission, when you go to get a job, please don’t say that you had cancer, you’re getting married, don’t tell it, not

to your husband, god forbid a relative, but what yes, well, it’s true, what a nightmare, and when asks, why say something, and so, well, there are no arguments, but some internal means, such an obstacle, but what does the matter look like now, now, for example, one of my good friends, who is undergoing treatment, chemotherapy, quite a long for a brain tumor, right in the middle of treatment between with the third and fourth chemotherapy, our largest russian bank is in a fairly good position , and its managers and staff are absolutely loyal to the fact that he misses there, takes some kind of vacation of a few days to undergo chemotherapy, and moreover, as i understand it, he is such a, you know, well, role model, or something, for those around you, you know, natalya, you said that yes

, your remission has lasted for more than 20 years, these words have already given, and to a million people, hope, and i i'm sure those who clung to screen, yes, those who are glued to the screens, they put this notch in their heads, those who are now undergoing treatment, because i am in various chats about breast cancer, and there periodically there are searches for those who survived, yes, these are the very survivors, and where are those people who lived there for more than 5 years, and these people just live, let's talk about your story. the first days, the first week , at that time i went to the gym to work out, that day i set a record, i bench pressed 150 kg, despite my fragile build, it was it’s hard, but i’m so joyful that i put some new mark of my own, i felt great , in the shower at the gym i felt a certain ball under my arm, on the left, for some reason i was at that

moment, as if immediately, um, like i got an electric shock, well, that is, i immediately realized that this was something wrong, that this shouldn’t be here, uh-huh, and - right when i got home, uh, i immediately made an appointment with a therapist, and i went to get examined, mm, unfortunately, at that time i had not encountered doctors in everyday life, well, that is, there was nothing there i didn’t have a more serious problem, so i didn’t go to a regular hospital , but to a paid one, and there the therapist, uh, examined me, prescribed a bunch of tests for me, an ultrasound, right away, somehow, it seems to me that it was clear from my face, that something was wrong, because he looked at me, well, with pity, with some even, well, with some kind of, they constantly told me such words that everything would be fine, the main thing is don’t worry, now everything is being treated, and somehow, i initially

began to understand that this is some kind of complicated story, not just on february 28th i had an ultrasound they already said that yes, they told you right away, yes, they told me that it is very likely cancer, and that it went beyond the breast, that’s actually the ball that i felt in the armpit - it’s a metastasis, what was the first reaction, it was a shock, it was the opposite of mobilization, maybe i thought to myself that i would cry , if they had told me this situation a little in advance and this is how you would react, i would probably have said that i would have cried , no, nothing like that happened, i was just very scared, well inside oneself, as it were, but at the same time in appearance. outwardly, i didn’t give in at all that something bad was happening; moreover , my husband and i didn’t tell my parents, because we decided to go as far as treatment, that is, when

they will prescribe treatment directly, then tell them, i think that this is the right strategy, because this period is, in fact, psychologically, the most difficult period, it seems to me, i don’t know how you will confirm it or verify it, from the moment of diagnosis to the start of treatment. mm, yes, this happened to me, to many, those with whom i, uh, i know and i advise those people who just found out about the diagnosis , i just go through this period a lot with such acquaintances, with such clients, and this period, it is the most fragile, because you seem to be unbalanced , you don’t understand, yes, what will happen, this is the unknown, this is the absence. some kind of plan, this is the absence of fight tactics, as if you are doing nothing, but the time when i was diagnosed, and i found out about it while sitting at home, it was not the doctor who told me, i saw it in

my electronic card, according to me i had to live until the next day to talk with the doctor, and i remember the night, i lie and think, so i’m not doing anything, so you said, but there’s shock or mobilization, i had complete mobilization, i need to act, i need ... the plan, probably, mm, i calmed down, not when i started treatment, but when the doctor said the words to me, i grabbed her hands like that, grabbed my stella fedorovna and said, tell me honestly, this can be treated, she says: anya, it can be treated and treated well, and i exhaled, this is a psychic podcast, my name is natalya losyeva, and today we are talking about cancer, there is another very important point that , in my opinion, distinguishes the modern psychology of managing cancer patients from what happened 20-30 years ago, you may even be

girls, you don’t know, before in in most cases, the patient was not told that he had cancer, that’s true, yes, it would be easier for you, anna, if you didn’t know your diagnosis, would you be treated there for inflammation of some kind of neuralgia, no, i want to know everything about myself , i trust the doctor, there is a professional who takes the reins, and i uh huh. i think that i work with my illness on an equal footing with the doctor, that is, the attitude of the doctor, the patient’s illness, this is how the three of us are sitting, this is approximately what it looks like, this is a team, and well, this random passer-by came in for in order to somehow change your life, because life does change, and you spend some time with it there, then say bye, for example, i even gave my tumor a name, my friend came up with it. yes, yes, yes, zina, zina, go away, i don’t want to offend you in any way those whose name is zinaida, this is a rather rare name, but for some reason we gave it such a name, i wonder how it was for you

, that is, you are somehow here, yes, i just remembered that there really is such a thing technique, when you materialize this thing of yours, well, any disease, in fact, is not necessarily a tumor, so you somehow try to either come to an agreement with it or strictly order it. it seems to me that my brain has turned on, uh, some kind of mode of saving the main organ, which is located here, in the skull, of my mind, yes, and uh, right at the moment namely diagnostics, this was the worst thing, i will also say, precisely because of the uncertainty that existed, and these were holidays, it was the eighth of march, you know, all the girls go, congratulate each other on the holiday, give each other flowers, everything... and i answer, but it seems so nightmarishly terrible

to me, because i answer insincerely, because my, my head is occupied at the moment with something else altogether, and my brain, it pulled off such a thing, it turned off this one area of ​​the disease, that is, i can say that i generally now i can’t even remember what i felt. here in this area of ​​the chest, as if i don’t have this, that is, there is a head and what is a little below the chest, everything else, it ’s just as it is, but we are doing this, there is a doctor doing this, tests, like i’m doing now. .. for now i’m trying not to think about it, because in the very first days my mistake was that i lay there and thought about how it was growing in me, while i didn’t do anything, they didn’t give me any medicine, nothing was clear what it was, what type of tumor is there, nothing is clear, it is growing and it is unclear at what speed, that is, i am inactive, roughly speaking, it captures me, these aliens capture me , and i can’t do anything, and then i calmed down and decided that well, let’s

live there, for now. today i opened our correspondence with yulia, the girls find me through different social networks and yulia wrote me a very touching message that anya, you are the only person i can trust, of course, such responsibility falls when you read such messages, and i remember your wording, which seems to me , what i won’t live until the morning, yes, almost every second message contains this wording, the girls seem to be captivated, for example, i ’m an example of a person who discovered some kind of pea in january, and treatment began only in july, but with me it seems like nothing such a terrible thing did not happen during this period, i’m calm, well, let’s say that in fact this is not a very good tactic, and therefore this is not a good tactic in terms of the fact that i did not have an understanding of how to act, that is, well, i went there ultrasound, it seems like nothing terrible, i had, i had a certain period of searching for doctors, yes

... who were wary and who referred me, but don’t, as they say, the sleep of the mind draws monsters, you won’t die overnight, yes, here i am i would also like to agree and emphasize that you shouldn’t think that you’re dying right now, that is, and you think that right now another 20 minutes, then it will take over , i don’t know, the heart, it will stop and you you'll die, that's not true, you just need to gather your courage, start acting with your thoughts, that's what it is important to emphasize not to remain idle. to act, but with my head turned on, as if with my mind, i began to act with my mind, as soon as they confirmed to me by biopsy that it was cancer, and accordingly, the lymph node is a metastasis of cancer, i began to search for a new doctor, because in the place, where i had a biopsy, the doctor, unfortunately, was not very gentle towards me, let’s say, and i was in a borderline psychological state, and

he somehow rudely told me the phrase that don’t whine, otherwise i won’t treat you, and i somehow i immediately realized that he and i didn’t get along path, and after i realized that i was not on the same path with this doctor, i wrote to anna, because she had already walked this path, and it was important for me to get her advice, as it were, about the doctor and further tactics, as it were, now i want to emphasize this point for our viewers, that today’s structure of the so -called information society is very helpful, you can find those people who, as it were, are educators, information volunteers, or on some forum you can find those people those who are in remission or those who are right now is undergoing treatment, maybe it’s just that he’s already gone two steps forward, this is very important , because indeed, especially in the first

stage of the disease, the patient really wants to be only in that circle where, as they say , nothing needs to be explained, because of course in the first stage when a person learns about his cancer diagnosis, when a shock occurs, it is still always a shock , someone cries, yes, someone, like you, goes into thoughts that i will not live until the morning, someone runs, like i ran at one time. according to autumn city, she just really ran, in very different ways, the shock still happens, and with this shock you seem to protect yourself with a glass cube, behind which the whole other life remains, this seems to me to be a very common scenario, in the first stage, when you recognize pain, you separate yourself from the whole world, then the world also appears and separates, and as the world separates, for example, you may not be invited to your birthday. i specifically

encountered this from those same prejudices, yes, yes, what we touched on at the beginning of the conversation different, friends, evidence-based medicine has proclaimed this many times, that you will draw attention to your diseases, but you know, it turned out so funny, during treatment i helped not only those people psychologically, i motivated them, and as they told me, you are a motivator, you are the kind of person who walks ahead with a flashlight, people called me with their own, as it seemed to them, insoluble situations, and i was about green in color, i could not lift my head from the pillow, because the side effects from the chemotherapy and gave them advice, they say: “anh, this, this is a very strange story , that is, we are now calling a person who, well, it’s as if he’s already out there somewhere, and has walked such a path, and we’re generally there with you almost said goodbye, yeah, and you show us life, you’re about life, it’s very important,

during treatment to be a person about life, yes, like some women wrote to me, so i ’ll go to the dacha, i’ll go to scarf, what should i answer to people, why am i wearing a scarf? i say, tell me, i’m being treated, oh, so simple, nothing to explain, yes, two words, i’m being treated, there’s nothing special about it, and mm, i don’t know, i ’m so smart because i’m a positive person in myself, or because my first doctor after an oncologist was a psychologist, i immediately wrote to a psychologist, because i needed a person who would speed up my path, and correct acceptance of the diagnosis is very important. quickly reach the stage of accepting the diagnosis, and there are girls who do not accept the diagnosis, and it is most difficult for them, even after going into remission they continue to live with it, but as it was for you, you had some kind of

there’s a feeling that your usual surroundings are a little bit, when they found out about your diagnosis, fenced off from you, and i can even call it, well, first of all, everyone was in shock, because somehow it turned out that a large circle of my friends, there was no one who suffered from an onological disease, so for them it’s like, you know, when you watch something on tv and it ’s happening somewhere far away, but here it’s happening to your friend right now especially since yulia is so sporty and red with painted lips, yes, that is, i am generally a person who is as far as possible from this diagnosis, and moreover, i kind of care about health, that is, he likes to talk like you brought to such a person as you... i am a person who regularly went through there are check-ups at the hospital, that is, this could not happen to me, but even the doctors say, unfortunately, when you come, yes, i immediately realized that you need to accept help, you need to help yourself in this situation, and how did you

help yourself, here actually, when i found out about the diagnosis, i stopped sleeping normally, but then i just had, i just couldn’t sleep, because in my head i had this squadron of crazy thoughts that i was dying. what to do, how was this your type of stress and shock and you helped yourself by what you wrote to anna, yes , when i found myself a psychologist and went to a psychologist, i turned to a psychiatrist for medical support, so that i could be prescribed antidepressants that would help me stay calm , normal condition, because it is important to emphasize, it is very important for treatment, not to experience unnecessary stress even during it, but who with... absolutely, and neurophysiologists and neurophysiologists who deal with the problem of communication, stress and cancer, say that it is necessary to relieve stress. i am very grateful to the psychologist and psychiatrist, because in the shortest possible time after

the appointment of therapy, my sleep was restored, my condition stabilized, and i completed the treatment without delays, exactly on time, without... emotional jumps that i absolutely had not needed at that moment girls, let's talk about life after cancer, practically, i don't know, with one hundred percent density, people who go into remission after cancer, they go through some kind of colossal internal reboot, and they come out on completely different radars and so.. ... sensitivity to the thrill of life , that is, you begin to receive joy, unspeakable, enormous from those things that for you were absolutely such, you know, an ordinary background, you