not more diverse, why is there no such friendship between modern literature and modern cinema? well, i won’t judge literature, but the producers very closely follow, well, the entire literary process, probably not, it ’s difficult, there are still a lot of books, but they keep their finger on the pulse, and they can’t find anything , material, so that it would qualify for a film adaptation, for various reasons, they can’t find it, we are looking, we like it, we really need all this, we are ready to tear it out of our hands, but we don’t find it, but what, what are you missing, that’s what, what you need, what you need to write about, so that you would be interested in making a movie about this, don’t need to talk about what, okay, well, wait, well, a novel is written according to its own laws, here’s a novel

shouldn’t sign up for the possibility of a film adaptation , well, look, first of all, this division of cinema into spectator , author’s, it, well, also explains something, because let’s assume it’s a fairly strong thing, with strong characters, psychological, true, there is also relevance there, it’s worth it, that’s how it is, relatively large-scale, costs, say, 300-400 million rubles, such a movie, the viewer is not interested in it. the film will be good, will collect 50 million rubles, half of which will be taken by cinemas, distributors, and production costs, the producer will be at a loss of 350 million rubles. the film will be good, because there is a good director, all that, the producers, in general, will do it, but god forbid, it will still not be very successful, well, no one guarantees, i proceed from the positive development of events, the film

turned out , yes, well, such a loss, this is the main one the answer to the question, purely author's stories, that's where the author's story is, this is a question more likely for the directors, because it is a little unnatural by definition that i, as a producer, yes it happens, well, the same 3 minutes of silence, it happens, but this is not a system, according to the author's idea is what the author brings to you, you look at the author, at the director, but directors often write themselves or very... actively participate, and the director of auteur cinema in writing scripts is their product, it comes to show you, you look at the director, you say, great text, yes, well they discussed something there, of course, they moved forward, it still needs some kind of joint refinement, as a rule, like, okay, everything goes ahead, if the directors don’t bring books that are reasonably within the budget, yes, which is feasible for creating auteur cinema today.

in russia and so on, and so they apparently also somehow don’t find it there, or they find something, again , or maybe it’s too expensive , well, there are no such examples, well, yes, we are like in relation to auteur cinema, as you know very well , we are trying to broadcast it to writers, writers, some of our wishes, rules yes, according to which, in your... opinion, if you want your book to get more chances for film adaptation, then somehow pay attention to such, such, such and such , such and such moments, well, this work has just begun, perhaps it will bear fruit, or rather, i am 100% sure that it will bear fruit, well, the question is when, how many, in america there is a huge number, a large percentage, of films made... based on literary works, well

, american, as a rule, or english-language, let's say, but not only, because there writers, they somehow long ago mastered this art of combining - literary and film interests, i don’t know , okay, thank you very much, this was a podcast about the life of the wonderful, i’m with you, its leading writer alexey varlamov, visiting me was producer sergei silyanov. friends, hello, this is a sit down normally podcast about raising children, possibly adults. our guest today is larisa surkova, an amazing woman, mother of seven, seven children, psychologist, child adult. author

of numerous books, larisa is called lawyer for children's souls, we have a huge number of questions for larisa, how many years should we invest in a child, it is believed that up to 7 years, but this is what we have invested. that’s it, and it’s like it’s already over, up to 7 years old it’s already quite good, but at that time there was a wave when everything was said up to three, and fortunately , only then there was such an exposure of this information that the book is wonderful, which was translated when... then from japanese, after 3 it’s too late, it was translated incorrectly, cut out, and so on, in general, everything is written there wrong, so it’s been 7 years already not bad, but in fact i would say that there is no end in sight, because not... of this age, no one invented it, i think, you know, this myth came from the fact that before, once upon a time, especially in soviet times told us that nerve cells don’t regenerate, the brain doesn’t develop, that’s all, basically, i lived until i was twenty, then that’s it, so in the end, we still need

parents to somehow let go a little and give their children some air , you know, i would answer this question like this, parents should be, in principle, period, because the main joy the child and his main point... the support point of development is when he has a family, when he comes home, he has someone to talk to, and i’m not naming a specific time now, it doesn’t have to happen exactly there at 13:00, a lot has been said, i repeat once again, it is not the quantity of time, but its quality that matters, a mother can come in the evening after work, very tired, eat, exhale, sit down, spend half an hour with the child, but it will be so effective, and he will be so developed, because every time spent with him, mom and dad will spend money on talking to him, telling him about what they themselves know or can do, doing something together with him, so i always believe that , in fact, what is inherent in a person , genetics, yes, it is more important, yes, of all things, it doesn’t matter, that is, if he has the talent that is inherent in him, yes, genetically,

in general, as if by nature, then he will still show himself somehow , there is such a wonderful direction called psychogenetics, in our country it’s not like that, it ’s probably still actively developed, abroad there really very developed, they conduct a huge number of long, longitudinal, time-extended studies, they follow families, children for decades, every year they publish more and more new statistics, at first they said there about 15 years ago 70% genetics 30 environment, and recent studies say that 57% is genetics, the rest is environment, because the environment has a very big influence, i have an eldest son, for example, but he really wanted to study from the very beginning, that’s how he is. there was , well, you can’t say that there’s a prodigy there, but he was very, very drawn to history, geography, and when we went somewhere to travel there, instead of lying somewhere on the beach, i had to go to some excavations in endless museums, that is, he knows mm everything museums in moscow, in general, even down to some exhibits, and he was always

very drawn to knowledge, and as soon as he went to school, the older he got, he became, as it were, yes, than this desire to learn something, it went away everything seems to be gone. yes, it is indeed very important, because unfortunately, when children end up in school an environment where there is not one significant adult, not two , like mom and dad, yes, who supported you, ran around museums, but there are different people who can discourage you from learning, by the fact that they objectively evaluate you, by the fact that they do not notice, ignore you, in that they may even laugh at you. sit down, don’t show off, don’t meddle, keep quiet, things happen in schools, of course, we , as parents, are faced with this, what is important is that the child always returning home receives this support from his parents, i always praise my children very much, that is, i’m there for my eldest son

, there, you’re the smartest one there, you have such potential, and i’ve also heard the opinion of psychologists that this, on the contrary, has the opposite effect, there is such or there are really a lot of non-psychologists now, i am of the opinion that , when... this was voiced a long time ago, it was profitable, that you cannot love a child, when you give him a lot of love and a lot of support, it is, as you know, such an oxygen cylinder, so you hang a big oxygen cylinder on him, send him to diving is so conditional in big life, to school, somewhere else, and he is constantly fueled by this oxygen, because no matter what they tell him, no matter how they try to lower his self-esteem, no matter what difficulties he always encounters there is a mask with which he can breathe, remember that he is really loved very much, he is very supported, he will always be helped, so our love, our fullness, our support is the most important thing when it is there, and chinese and japanese and mathematics are everything will fall on this, and it will be easier for the child to declare

our desires, because this is also very important, because sometimes it seems to us that well, i know mathematics well, my husband knows mathematics well, our child should know mathematics well. but he doesn’t like mathematics, that’s when we gave him this support and acceptance in any situation, we have this rule at home, no matter what happens, come tell us, together we will decide, if we don’t... know what ’s happening to you , we will not be able to help you, then it is unknown what could happen to you, so it is very important for the child that he can come at any time, say, listen, guys, well , i can’t do it, then you will sit down and decide together what kind of support you can give him, that is, we praise, in short, the children, everything is fine, like love, love, we really reciprocate them, because which is always very difficult for parents with growing children, the little one loves you anyway, you understand, yes, that he runs to you, reaches out to you, he adores you, accepts you as absolutely anyone, as the child grows up, he begins to look

like a hedgehog , such a porcupine, it’s not here if you touch him, you won’t touch him, he’ll snap at you, he’ll answer you something , we parents have a fear that the child doesn’t love me, if he talks to me like that, then he doesn’t love me, we forget that a child’s concept of this love, our concept of love are completely different things, and of course, sometimes they are at such a wonderful age. and i love him very much there for 5-7 years, when they are already such young manipulators, they understand what is there for parents, well , these are trigger words that can somehow offend them, and i regularly receive letters, when they write to me: larisa, my child said that he doesn’t love me anymore, i don’t know how to live further, oh god, what am i saying, i ’m saying, seriously, now you’re an adult woman, a five-year-old child told you, i i don’t love you anymore, and this is how you perceive it, that is, they sit and cry, this is for the child’s psyche. it works, wow, how cool, that is, yes, it’s not because he’s your villain, but because it’s a subconscious

process, well, it was i who caused the feedback, so bright, yes, why are you doing this, this you need to understand that he is five, you are 35, and not to confuse who is an adult here, who is a child, it will always be very important, tell me, are you a psychologist, yes, this is how it happens at home with a psychologist, firstly, i have two daughters adults, they already live separately, they don’t live with us, there are always five. presence, our house is very noisy, we have children, my husband is also a psychologist, by the way, we once studied together, he is really involved in organizations, that is , another little bit of history, corporate psychology, but nevertheless, it’s always noisy here and we never have children in this regard we stop, usually, i know, i joke like that, i say, thanks to the neighbor downstairs , whom we don’t have, because we live in a house in the countryside, our children can run, jump, play ball, bark at our dogs, that is, we really always have very noisy. and this is important, because when in society, in kindergarten or at school, of course children

keep themselves within limits, and when returning home , if we are from them, we or you, no matter who, demand that we remain silent, do not breathe, do not walk, but it's impossible, let's always remember ourselves, we come home from work, we want to kick off our shoes, take off our clothes, wash off our makeup and also relax, the child is also a person, why do we very often make demands on the child that we do not make. even to ourselves, that is, when we come home, we want to rest, we can tell everyone not to touch, not to disturb, not to approach, and no one will pester us, but that’s why we think about the child that we know everything we understand everything well, the question of the regime, yes, now we say that we are, as it were, freedom, but there are some kind of framework, a regime, especially for children who go to school, to kindergarten, who live in the system, it should be, we have it at home, returning to the fact that like at home, we have general routine moments, let’s say so, and this is mine ... absolutely correct, the child should have a fixed number of hours of sleep at night, this is

important, because there he grows, there he gets healthy, his immunity works there, so there should be a fixed time lights out, a child of school age should sleep at least 7-8 hours, a must, child must definitely eat, and we must do everything to make him eat, because now , fortunately, the psychology of eating behavior tells us that we no longer need to kill ourselves for soup, or something like that yes, the main thing is that he eats, he must drink, this is also a regime moment that parents forget about, and children forget, sometimes there is simply no access to normal water in the house that you can take and drink, yes, you need to accustom yourself and the child, if the child lives within such simple limits, regimes, of course, it will be easier for him in the morning get up, go to school, yes, he will feel better physically, ask the nurse, tomorrow.

on the first one, mom, what are you doing here, what are you, you could have called, you are a nurse, a good russian, this is a dead russian, this is nargiz zakirova, with whom we had a chance to talk, such an immodest question, but how did you get to moscow in the first place ? she fell for it and told it in a very interesting way, i was worried there, i was there from left to right of all these orcs, she always had russophobia, she just had it... well, in short, they started to cover my oxygen, she tried hype, but she was hyped, so she was banned from the west for 50 years, i’m thinking of asking for another 50 years, i’m going to get myself another tattoo. but if you hit me, i’ll give you ukrainian citizenship, straight up, straight away, come on, we raised 7 million dollars for the war, finances the murder of russian soldiers, and america didn’t reward her in any way, didn’t give her citizenship, she’s not needed there, she i need her here so she can play dirty tricks here, organize dances in churches, i had the idea to get rid of russian citizenship, ask for ukrainian citizenship, we see today

betrayal of our country, vavan and lexus show, on wednesday on the first. you are watching the podcast, sit down normally, today we are talking with psychologist larisa surkova, we are trying to understand how to raise a harmonious personality, my middle son, yes, i forced him for some time, he went in for sports, then there was some break, he got out of what - yes, that is, it’s still necessary to force, as it were necessary, to force people to go to sports clubs, it’s obligatory, there’s probably a difference in concepts, that is, you can say, force, you can say persuade, you can say, motivate, you can say, sell it profitably to the child, show him why he needs it, or you can ask him himself what he wants , because, for example, in our family we have another problem, when it started before the start of the school year, my daughters are 10 and 7 years old , they rolled out such lists of special features that they want, that i sat down like this with a schedule and thought, where can i even shove this into them here, yes, because we have my children, they want everything, a lot at once, there’s never enough for them , maybe because

mom and dad are like that, and this is very important, this to the question of the environment, that is, if a child sees that his parents are constantly... developing , they are interested in everything all the time, there is not enough time, he wants the same, because the parents are in an ideal family, of course, in some such good picture of the world for a child there is a role model, so it is very important to fix the time, when you have quiet time there is time for each child, then again to the question of the regime, after all, if here i am, this is the adult mode, excuse me, i will interrupt you, i have the time of each child written down in my diary, every child of mine knows, just like my husband, today i went to work, yes there, and my husband, he knows that today is his time when he takes the girls to the stables, we call it, let’s let's play a game that we have only two children in the family, there is a game, let's play that we have only one child in the family, sometimes we go to the store with one there, everyone has their own activity that is interesting to them, it is included in it's my schedule, not theirs, it's written

into my life, into my schedule, into my calendar, and i tell them, dunya will be there tomorrow. i have three children, all completely different, yes, the eldest wants to go to the museum , the middle one wants to go to football, masha wants to, i don’t know, buy a dress, yes, but you seem to have little time, like many parents now, and you’re like i wish you could spend time with all three of the children, and let’s say they all end up going to the museum, let’s say, because the eldest is the eldest, as it were, everyone is going to the museum, which means this is what interests him, everyone else is walking and thinking oh my god, this would rather be torture hell ended in this boring museum, as i would highlight. here we are all as a family, dad, mom, three children, we spend time together, it turns out that we are doing this for ourselves , because you share, that is, you need to separate, you need to separate, it shouldn’t even be every week, it can be once per month, yes, maybe even less often, for example, the elder sen says, listen, mom, come on, this year i will have this time once at the end of the year on my birthday, but we will go with you to japan , this is

my dream, i say okay, we'll go with you two, he says no, let's take dunya, because she's 10, i'm already too... interesting, and it will be in june, but he completely took it upon himself, he built the whole program, where is it, even for me it’s scary to read this number of excursions, i agreed on this with my sister, and this is already important for their relationship, that is, they sat down, they have some kind of secret of their own, they lined everything up there, they rolled it out to me, go mother, pay, yes, earn money and pay for it, but he says i don’t need it for a year, i busy, better, better i'll be alone , put me on my allotted 2 hours. there a week, yes, so that i can at least sit on the computer, look down, because i don’t have time for this, because besides school, he also has preparation for college and a lot of other things, but then in june you will be 10 days, that’s just mine, that’s it, and i’ll discuss with you everything i want, so maybe this option is okay, let’s go back to the routine, let’s say it’s 9: pm, okay, 10, 11, your child,

here i have the youngest girl who just starts in the evening, means trying on a dress , turn on the music, she’s inspired, and also if mom only in the evening... what to do? there should be a regime, but it should be adjusted to the feeling of the family itself, because in one family the parents leave for work at 6 in the morning and come there, i don’t know, at 50 in the evening, yes, another parent leaves at 12 and comes at 23. and when , someday children must exist in this picture of the world, yes, if the parent does not see the child, we definitely will not get anything good, so of course, everyone, every family adjusts this regime to suit themselves, and we for example. we all get up very early, we always, i always say, please, if you need filming at 6 am, no question, let us meet at 6 am and we will film, in the evening i no longer think, my children don’t think either, we have 21. it’s dark in the house, everyone is sleeping, so some kind of punishment is strictly necessary, after all, there should be some kind of how to fit into this framework, after all, in fact, the main nuance is that that for a child, especially such a small one, and at 6 years old, her

biological internal clock, she doesn’t have this feeling, late, early, dark, not dark, nothing is clear at all , so it’s better, of course, to introduce all this as gently as possible, and i know that now many families are switching to the alice, marus mode, who has what there is a pump at home that... masha, in half an hour we have curfew , in 15 minutes we have curfew, yes, that is, she begins to teach it very gradually, it turns out that this is good, the parent does not play just this punisher, who walks, talks, after half an hour, after 15 minutes, it takes some there is a device, some kind of equipment, yes, in general, it’s not me, it’s technology, but we naturally explain to the child in advance why this is important, at 6 years old we can talk about the fact that there are cycles of wakefulness, rest, why it is important that the criminal was sleeping so that the brain could rest, if the child does not understand why he needs it, what is its benefit, he is fine as is, then of course, there

will be no result from this, so it is very important to put a theory, just like with questions, when he already knows in advance everything that we will ask him, there are funny situations when a child comes home from school and writes, okay, ok , goodbye, well, that is, yes, he already knows all the standard questions, i always say, please, if you are too lazy, type them in on the internet, open ones. hundreds, thousands, i myself have taken part just how many times, they really are very interesting, when you can ask a non-standard question that a child does not expect from you, and then i don’t know, there - for example, and you know, today i was driving along street, saw a rainbow and wondered if she it wasn’t called a rainbow, so you would have called it something else, yes, the child is not waiting for this question, that you are now going to pester him about school, he he... is forced to turn on, well, that is, from what relates to school , what are we asking about, what interesting things did you learn today, which of your friends surprised you today, what event

upset you the most, what did you most regret spending your time on, this is your most well-spent time today - what? yeah, what did you feel sorry for wasting time on, yes, that is, it doesn’t mean that we they have to dump out the list, then the answer will be one or two questions, which are quite enough for communication, that’s development. you understand, no one will teach him this in english courses, no one will teach him this notorious emotional intelligence, about which all the bells are ringing , that it is not there, it is lost, children develop intellectually, do not develop emotionally, they have forgotten how to feel, they are not interested our emotions, our experiences, because we are rebuilding, we always tell them, okay, normal, good, from a very early age, oh, mom, you have tears, no, i got a midge in my eye, why? well, the school tells us: don’t walk, don’t breathe, don’t look, we go there in pairs and so on, the parents say: don’t interfere, don’t interfere, shut up, that’s it, yes, we cut off these

feelings, but there is nothing more important than this particular emotional component, when you, you have sympathy, when you empathize with close and distant people, on the one hand we sound the alarm, we shout, the world is cruel, the world is cold, what is it, on the other hand, in our families in fact, very often the same thing. tell me, how to teach, so that children engage, i don’t know, with each other, play, so that this doesn’t happen, here a lot depends on the difference in age, of course, it depends, because, well, almost all of our children also have a difference at the age of 6 years, 5-6 years, and this is a very complex interaction, they are far from each other , because they are already changing so quickly these generations, igreks, zetas, ihsas and so on, yes, they change very often, not like before it was there for 20 years, they have different interests, different goals in life. no, well, well some families somehow cope with this, i know, my master course is there in astrakhan, he also has a huge family, and i know that his wife is there, lena, they always have older ones there for the little ones, there they work with them,

lena can already do this, she was raised by them in such a way that she can do it like a queen , they somehow figure it out on their own, i also figure it out on their own, simply because there are a lot of them, and especially small ones, for all the little ones the age difference is smaller, so they seem to be interested in each other, here they are they rush after each other with their feet, scooters and so on, so they somehow. interact with each other, you know, i have a slightly different position, this is how i raise children, and the house is a fortress for them, including an emotional one, they each have their own room, or if they are large, if they are apartments, people live in apartments, they always say to make them some kind of their own corner , which is inviolable, because this violation of each other’s private property often leads to litter, and at home we try to do everything so that they can relax, so that they really have this opportunity and then they themselves become interested, for example, my eldest son, who is 16, has no problems when he exhaled, especially like this, he’s already just rested, ate, slept, he can come up

, say, mom, let’s go for a walk with marfushe, 6 months old, he enjoys it himself , he likes it very much, he can do whatever he wants with her, he goes there with the stroller to play laps, he also relaxes like that, listens to music, he can put semyon, who is three, to bed, well he likes it, but we never forced him to do it, we didn’t force him, but since he knows that mom is also tired and needs help, he always gladly does it himself, this is also, again, this kind of barter, yes, mom does it a lot for him, he does something for his mother to the best of his ability, i am a supporter of the fact that you give birth to children for yourself, not so that you have ready-made nannies whom you gave birth to there before, they are already grown up, so they can , yourself, you give birth to yourself to please yourself or you give birth to yourself because only you are responsible for this, then unfortunately, in the modern world , despite the fact that i have one husband, all the children are from one husband, and we have been married there for 28 years, but nevertheless in the modern world it turns out that a woman in general she herself is often forced to bear

responsibility for the child she has. certain events arise, and we don’t know , because the world is very unpredictable, it’s always what will happen tomorrow, will we have some kind of male support, well, children need to be taught to take responsibility for themselves too, children need definitely teach him to take responsibility for himself, so for me, for example, it is important that he doesn’t look after his brother or sister, that he will wash a plate, that he knows how to use a vacuum cleaner, that he will iron a shirt, that it is known, yes, that starts with yours, as if yes, if you make the bed, as if everything begins in your head, it begins only through together, a wonderful word, family - it’s still about together, that’s why yes, our simeon is 3 years old, he knows without any problems how to make an omelette, where get eggs, where to get milk, how to turn on the stove, the only thing we do is control so that he doesn’t suddenly knock over this frying pan on himself, for the sixtieth birthday of vladimir moshkov, please help yourself,

such events, so the holiday is on us, he is one of those artists , about whom we can say that he had no passing roles, it is impossible to play a feeling, such an alphason with a colossal amount of masculine energy, which of course rushes out of him, i have accumulated, let me realize myself at least once, when he voiced the distribution of roles, i was stunned , i’ve probably never been so scared in my life, well, he can stand up for himself , his flag is strong, did you really think that the truth would leave me, he always goes to the last, he doesn’t leave himself a compromise to the ground, sit, i gotsma, david markovich, david markovich, david markovich, we exist, we must know the world, by learning the world, we know ourselves, tomorrow on the first, combined colors of olivier toscani,

there are some things that are not customary to look at, that are not customary discuss, and my job is to force people look at such things. advertising is only needed to make a person think, understand, laugh, cry, united colors. the end of the century according to gottfrey, metaphysically, we are from different worlds, but we feel in many ways the same. i want to say that our world is turning into one big disneyland, into something artificial, we need more crazy people who could reflect this more clearly, convincingly, clearly. matador on friday, on the first. you are watching the podcast, everything is fine, today we are talking with psychologist larisa surkova, trying to understand

how to raise a harmonious personality. please tell me, you need to take your child to kindergarten, now for those who don’t go yet, now there is no definite yes, no one says definitely yes, they always say at the discretion of the parents, i absolutely agree with this, there are children who need kindergarten , simply because they love communication very much, they love children very much, they are comfortable existing within the framework of the regime, there are children who do not need kindergarten, because they want to be with their mother, they are comfortable attending individual classes or classes in small groups, of which there are five people, and mothers make a choice that since she does not work, she has the opportunity, she takes the child to different sections and everyone feels good together, to say that the child will be successful or unsuccessful at school, depending on whether he attended kindergarten or not, it is impossible, this correlation has not been proven by anyone, it depends solely, we are back again to when the child is still small, but this is all endless learning, yes, what about development, yes, yes, yes, actually now, k

fortunately, i can say that for me, as... for a psychologist, this fashion is still passing, because some time ago, about 10 years ago, but if you did not send your child to a mantessor, you are a bad parent, well, when i went to these clubs . i felt a little scared myself, because there are so many manuals, some special boards, special toys, it’s unclear where creativity is in all this, our most important task, especially in the preschool period, is not to kill the child’s creative potential, because play leading activity, the child must definitely move a lot, but learn a lot, invent a lot, invent a lot, and the more we give him the opportunity to develop: in this creativity to express himself, draw the way he sees, sing as he wants, jump on his ears in the end, study sports, the better the result will be at school, the easier it will be for him at school , because here he realized everything that he

should have realized at this age, because there are no standards, right, but how to teach an artist, it seems to me impossible, that is, this as if human life is also about individuality, right, to find yourself, but no, you need to draw just like that, you need to sculpt just like that, yes, speak out just like that, as if yes, when children are driven into all these frames, as if mine a separate pain, yes, why, why, how you can give a rating for a drawing, it was never clear to me, and it is still not clear to me, how you can evaluate iso, why, if a child draws the sun blue, he should be given a two, why, yes, listen to him, he probably has an argument, the simplest one is that he simply didn’t have yellow paint, maybe, but the most difficult one is that he sees some kind of his own philosophy in this, why two are unclear, so here there are a lot of such interesting factors, yes, children, they are not for you they will give you a chance not to develop themselves, that’s what i want to tell parents, now there are children who know a lot , well, first of all, because they watch cartoons, of course, there are wonderful cartoons

that sometimes you yourself watch some fixes, you finally find out, how does a microwave work, yes, that is, it really is there they give a lot of different questions, because we don’t limit them there, they are fixes, but they include now, as it were, it’s very difficult to limit. yes, there you put the fixes, look , you come up, after 10, there are no longer fixes, but some are easy to limit, for us everyone is trying, everything works and parental control formats exist in any comfortable form, but we have it, we call it on the device tv, yes, because we don’t have television there, but there is a device, and stepan, who is 16, is responsible for the content in our house, i need this, i should enter this too, so it's actually good, yeah. why, when someone has some kind of responsibility, such an adult one, he really likes it, he takes it very seriously, he studies the question, which ones especially for the one who is three, he is now interested in cartoons,

what is possible, what is not, what my psychologist colleagues said, he sometimes rolls out reports like this, he blocks it himself, he knows how to do this, he understands this technical part, only he knows these passwords, no one will get into anything that is not allowed if stepan is determined . yes, we have girls only have access on weekends, girls only have access to tablets on weekends, not on weekdays, because they don’t have time, and well, no, that, in general, is mom’s will, because there is, there is a decision that only an adult, of course, but only an adult can decide when to use a gadget, realizing there is this time to fit it into the life of a small child from 10 and up - is it a small child or not, and accordingly he gives out tablets to girls on weekends and in one and a half picks up the tablets at an hour, it’s late, this needs to be done, this needs to be done at some point earlier, when all the girls already know that stepan controls it, there are no disputes or scandals on this topic, but at the same time no one controls stepan, because

that he is 16 years old, he himself speaks beautifully, listen, what a computer , when i come back after school and courses, crawl, do my homework, i only dream of seeing my bed at all, and he says, mom, i’ve now come to that myself that only on weekends i turn on what do your children watch cartoons? well, now we have three cats in use, a blue tractor, all this atrocity that then turns around at night, in fact they are not bad in meaning, they really carry some kind of educational meaning, and most importantly they are short, an anecdote, you know about cartoons now i remember a childhood one, when when a child is often with a nanny, well, the nannies change and the nannies don’t really understand their child and he says: pray and repent, you know, let’s tell you, pray and repent, he calls his mother, says something baby, pray something and repent, what should i do, should i pray, repent, what should i do, she says, baby and carlson, the child asks to put the baby carlson, this is about the question that our children very often with nannies, but unfortunately, or

fortunately, as they say, it’s easier to find a husband than to find a nanny, although a good one, larochka, well , come on, in the end , here are some 10 tips from larisa surkova on how to educate. a harmonious personality who will fully develop and enjoy life. the first thing i would recommend is probably the first such recommendation, do not compare children with each other, remember that children are all different, people. everyone is different and your comparison, it can traumatize for more than one year, indeed, bring a lot of harm to your child’s life, do not compare with other children or with anyone at all, brother and sister are also other children, do not compare with anyone, the second thing is probably what i can say, pay more attention to his achievements than to his failures, because this is also our big problem, we spend a lot of time on failures, a lot of time on achievements. it’s not enough to praise, but let’s let a girl say what you are the most beautiful, the most princess, the best?

if we go by the classics, it is recommended to praise for a certain achievement, that is, the child drew a picture, we tell him, listen, how great you did it, and if she just came out this morning, she is such a doll, yes, of course, we will kiss her let's say, you're such a beauty, and what wonderful cheeks you have, and your nose is so neat, and your legs are long, that is, not just the most, because the most in principle, the word most is already a comparison, well, that is, yes, it means that there is someone who is not the best. just straight out, what i see, i sing, everything i want, everything that rushes out of my soul, be sure to tell your child , because this is very important for him, don’t forget, let’s move on to the third, don’t forget about tactility in general, because that as a child grows up, his parents begin to hug him, kiss him, and pat him on the head very little, but if these sixteen-year-olds go , here’s a stool stand, they’ll give him more how they are given, and here we are, well, this is a feature of our gymnasium, of course, because families are mostly large, i used

to say if the children there at the last school, there were five children, i say, we have five children all fainted, now you say seven, some have nine, some have 10, well, in general, everyone has a lot, this environment , of course, also helps us a lot, because everyone , when parting with their children in the morning, kisses them, regardless of age, all of them yes , well, everyone wants to, but go hand in hand, you know, when you want, you take your son by the hand, he just mine is the opposite, in fact it’s always very much like this, i don’t have an older one anymore, the older one is older. no, the eldest has already grown up, you can already arm-in-arm with him, and the one who is 14, he’s like , well, he’ll grow up soon too, yes, that is , we have to wait, in short, we have to wait, of course, without violence, no violence, we are there by force we don’t kiss and we don’t take people by the hand, but humor always saves us, this is probably the fourth piece of advice, because if the main advice is, let’s emphasize that humor saves everything, and even if we tell a fourteen-year-old, that’s what i say i want to go with such a handsome boy, well, let him envy you, yes, he too, well, be condescending somewhere.

time, let it not be every day or even every week, let it be 15 minutes that is interesting to him, and if he is not interested in anything, then let him lie on the sofa on your lap, you stroke his head, maybe even silently, this is exactly what he needs in order to go further into the world to create something for any other, because very often it seems to us that rest, we are good parents, rest - this is to load them with theaters, museums, excursions, and something else on the weekend , in fact, for him this is also an educational activity, this also requires turning on the head, sitting, thinking, analyzing something, ask the child what.

.. a day off, maybe he wants to jump on trampolines or take a walk in the forest, or do something else, something that will not look like an educational activity, because there is no better rest than a change of activity, everyone knows this , this absolutely applies to children, i also know, by the way, for sure that you cannot deceive a child, let’s say, you think, now we’ll watch a cartoon together, and you’re sitting so quietly, that is, and you’re like, like you ’re watching, like a cartoon, but in fact you’re not turned on , and it doesn’t work in any way, that is, and some... mom, well, you, you don’t, that is , you have to completely, that is, you have to switch off completely, if you’re watching a cartoon, then you’re watching directly, you’ve given yourself, that means we gave ourselves to him, and you know, you brought us to the next very good recommendation, don’t lie to children, because they always surprise me parents who comes with a complaint, my child is lying, i tell him, and you tell him, i, i , well, yes, a little bit, yes, there is something there somewhere, because the child is our mirror, sometimes it’s crooked, it’s complicated, we want it, well, let’s say, yes, i just know from myself, it’s not that i don’t want

to watch the cartoon, but my phone is just ringing off the hook, that is, i sort of want to watch the cartoon, too, but i can’t do it, and it’s as if you can’t, what will happen if you pick up this phone in half an hour, no, the sheath too, you don’t have to also, not everything will happen, yes, this again, this is probably the next recommendation, i don’t remember which one, educate yourself, educate yourself and change yourself, because if we are sincere, yes , it always seems to us that we are in the process, we are doing something important, but if we honestly answer the question, what will happen if i do all this in half an hour, the answer will be nothing, i actually want it, i think it’s important to touch on the topic now, i think it will be a good ending ours. in general, programs are about children, and we all want to raise our children, and some of the to do them, but we don’t work with ourselves at all, and first of all we need to start ourselves , because we have become completely driven, absolutely, like these squirrels in a cage, yes, it’s as if we ourselves cannot stop, we ourselves cannot we understand our purpose, we haven’t figured it out with ourselves, we’re trying

to somehow do all this with our children, as if yes, probably we first need to do it ourselves somehow absolutely, you know, probably also, like the finale, such an important thought for me. i will say that we often talk enough with children, and when we talk about the future and the future, including when we are not there, yes , in particular i am there, at a certain age children are interested in the topic of death, they ask what i think about it, i say, you know, i don’t care there will be, but the best thing i can leave behind is you, so when we are gone, no one will care whether we answered the phone right now or not, maybe this cartoon that we watched with ours. as a child, he will remember, retell it to his children, our grandchildren, and for him this will be really important, so just prioritize, thank you, larichka, huge, in fact, we can talk endlessly, i hope that we will not end here, because there is a huge number of topics that arise, and it is simply impossible to talk them through to yourself, very important,

let’s see each other, we’ll talk, and i think it will be interesting for everyone, we’ll learn a lot of things, just for the sake of what we already knew. but when you pronounce it, it begins to sound completely different and, as it were , you begin to understand it differently, and this is what yes, it seems to me, but like the basics of psychology, yes, yes, of course, thank you very much , thank you, it was a podcast, sit down normally, today we tried to discuss with larisa surkova, a psychologist, mother of seven children, how to still raise a harmonious personality? the power of memory is great, there is something terrifying in the diversity of its countless depths, as avreli augustine wrote in his famous confession. hello, today we have gathered our thoughts about memory, about its secrets

and mysteries. dmitry petrovich bak, literary critic, candidate of philological sciences, writer, doctor of philological sciences, friends, i’m very glad to see you, it’s mutual, who else if not with you to talk about such a topic, and you know, i want, i have a preliminary question, perhaps a warm-up, memory is more about hope or about a curse, evgeniy germanovich, well, memory is something that you often want to get rid of, in fact it is so, you want to forget many things, so in some way there is a trace of the curse here, but memory, it gives hope in the sense that if it is a good memory, a good memory, then they they give hope that something will happen again

, petrovich, but what do you think, you know, still, i would put hope in the foreground, because well, we know, but it’s a curse. yes, which can gravitate, hang, put pressure on itself, it definitely exists, yes, because the golden age gives way to the silver age, and then all the way to the iron age, but nothing good happens to the world, therefore, memory always speaks of a curse, but on the other hand memory speaks of the best, precisely because the past is happy, this childhood, for example, it almost always has a shade of happiness, sinless, transparent existence, and the more you remember, the more you hope that at every moment you live in your fullness, and not in the incompleteness that seems to you, the right vanity, i’m right now, when evgenia germanich you said that something from something i sometimes want to get rid of, but i thought, i remembered , or rather the thought, not my thought, about what confession is, it’s a cry to god, lord, don’t

remember me like this.