for the poet's anniversary. hello, dear viewers, you are watching the lab podcast with you, its host tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, our guest today is lyubov. “hello, love, hello, tell me what you came to us with, i came with this request, it sounds like this, why do i always feel inadequate in some things, despite the fact that there are certain successes in life, there is a happy family, my husband and i have been together for 8 years, and there is a successful business, profitable, and at the same time, depending on the tape."

as i understand it, this is how to work with it, what to do with it, if this is possible, of course, or in what way, what exercises are there, maybe in order to cope with this syndrome, and so that it probably worked in favor so that i could use it and somehow transform it, on the contrary, it helped me and gave me some kind of resource, and did not steal energy and so on. network? it’s difficult, it’s difficult, well, you need to keep everything under control. monitor by browsing social networks? and the successes of my friends, well, somewhere i tell myself, i turn on such a cartoon that i train observation. well, i need

to look at how people are, how people are, well, it seems to me that i need observation of what? observation of content, in order to also create high-quality content, because i am now involved in such a fashionable story as the development of a personal brand, since it helps there to sell more effectively and better, all this is very implanted in society, well, in principle, i like it , i like blog, i like to tell people what i know about what i did, but nevertheless, of course, there is such a certain addiction, but why does it have a million views, yes, i have a thousand there, and of course, this also somehow affects self-esteem, but what do you do professionally, professionally, and i have a business, i have five private kindergartens in moscow, well, that is, your business in this sense has nothing to do with social networks, with history for a personal brand, of course not, although... i have

stories when people came to my kindergarten because they follow my blog and they are there, in your blog you talk about what is happening in your kindergartens or what is happening in your personal life, in general i talk more about business, yeah , that is , if i look at your blog, at best i will have there, i don’t know, a question, a request, a thought, a desire to get to know you in order to open a garden, well, most likely to open a business, because whatever you are talking about that you have... impostor syndrome, what it is expressed in something that is the very idea of ​​suffering, that i would like to go out, well , i have the business that i have, it’s a franchise, it’s a franchise, that is, in fact , i have five kindergartens, but i don’t i am the face of this company, i have a request to kind of open my own, yeah, but there is a huge fear that my own kindergartens or some other business doesn’t matter, yeah. and what confuses you about your

impostor syndrome, that it constrains me from moving forward? how? well, here you are now sitting, talking to us, how are you? is your impostor syndrome holding you back? well, i don’t do anything, what do you mean? well, i’m not taking any steps to get this started, let’s call it that, but you understand what strategic steps need to be taken. in general, i understand, well, everything is clear. yes , everything there is built according to the same model, but i’m very scared that, well, i can’t, i don’t know if it’s worth saying this so rudely, well , it won’t work, everyone will point their finger at me, that this is how it is, this is how it is it would be better if she sat and worked for her uncle, why should she i went to try to do this in general, who will say that people are wok, well, what kind of people, there are some specific people bothering you, and i was thinking about it.

it seems to me that these are always some kind of adult parental figures, and it seems to me that this is my grandmother, who knows nothing at all about business, yes, who... yes, does not even live in this country, and i just always remembered , when i moved, when i came to visit my grandmother, i always had a desire for some kind of celebration to be held in my honor, well, how good i am, and well so you understand, this never happened, i had it, it was such an internal disappointment when i think, well , i went to moscow, i achieved results there. why doesn’t she greet me with a loaf of bread? and i’m great, because i succeeded in something, well, yes, because i succeeded, i left, well, grandma always said such things, where i was born, it worked there, well, there’s a fairly well-known expression, when i left, she told me she said

that you would come back in rags, yeah, you’ll come back anyway and sit on our necks and so on further and that. it’s better to sit there, don’t go anywhere, but you proved the opposite, proved the opposite, but there’s no recognition, uh-huh, no, well , you did the opposite, not the way she wanted, well, the opposite yes, so what you admit to her, if she wanted you to come back in rags, but you didn’t come back in rags, why do you expect that she should, that is, she should admit that she was wrong, well, well, yes, but i would like her to admit that she was wrong , why does she need this, why does she?

life, you'll cry and come back with your hands pressed tail, just lucky, yes she will always have this idea that she will still be right, but for some reason you? i really didn’t succeed and the adults said, well, you see, we said, well , it’s not worth trying, and apparently, anyway, such a rebellious nature, it took over, and i decided to prove something to someone, in fact i understand,

that they all don’t care, but i feel very bad about this, and i suffer from the fact that i don’t receive the recognition that... i expected that when i left for moscow, well, in the end, 10 years have passed since that moment, and i don't understand where i should move on, it’s like i’m not expecting this recognition, i have some experience, of course, but what to do next with this is not clear to everyone, that is, you haven’t received recognition and won’t get it, well, watch how it develops further, you will take on higher and higher tasks, higher large-scale goals, you will move, but you are already living now. as if not with your life, well, there is a feeling, yes, that you need to show someone something, show that you have a good, good life, a good business, a good husband, although there is a demand for honesty and to be honest,

but it feels like people don’t want you to be honest, and you show a beautiful picture of your life, and how you drive a cool car and in general... you don’t have any worries, and what kind of people don’t want you, well, these are my inner circle, these are some friends, nevertheless, i want to understand, this is what i should do next in this life, because i already have some kind of business, but i want something more , i want some kind of greater realization, well, i probably want something, maybe to prove to myself that well, i can, you have a good car, well, it suits me, well, what do you mean? it’s a good car, i am, but why are you answering me in a way that suits you? there are better cars, of course, but i didn’t ask this question, do you have the best car, lyuba? you have a good car, a good car, yes, but mine is better, how do you feel, curiosity, something else, interest, compare, but

exactly, what difference does it make to you what kind of car i have, well, you said , what is better for you, i said, i just said, that’s it now interesting, well, let’s say you satisfy your interest, it turns out that... it’s really better that then the next time we meet, i will be better, be prepared, look, it turns out that some kind of emotion is born there, she looks a lot like evil. yes, let’s assume that the same anger would just have the opposite effect, if my car is worse, right, well, like, now, but pay attention to the fact that i asked you the question, is your car good, the answer same very simple, good, bad, you tell me you say, i’m happy with this, wanting, well, how to stop my dialogue with you in comparative categories. and you can, by the way, say where you are from, here you are,

from where you moved to moscow, from kazakhstan, from kazakhstan, from almaat or smaller, from almaat, let’s, okay, let’s agree that you have enough a good car, i’ll probably be right if i assume that your car is, well, better than the car of 80 percent of almaty residents, that’s a fact, a fact, they all meet you together with the gathered all these residents of this city at the crossroads by chance, here you are, in short, everyone, everyone knows you, yes, everyone knows you, where you are from, what kind of dirt you are from, here you are like a prince, yes, your feelings, i feel sorry for them, well, why do you feel sorry for them, they look at you, someone is jealous, someone is happy, well, someone might want to let someone down, yeah, well, the most normal one, but probably it’s the ego that’s right here. .. i’m just a beauty, well, there’s this feeling of pity for them, arrogant

in the sense, yes, arrogance and a certain one, but at the same time, you don’t want to look arrogant, this is not very good, some feeling appears to help them or something, to earn money, but in any case, pay attention, a whole range of feelings and emotions appears, although it would seem, why would they be there? be, why, uh-huh, well, why, she, well , it’s not necessary, but i have an assumption that these feelings, they seem to protect you, but what if a person, one of these people, asks you : lyuba, how did you buy this car? but here i would say that this is a very interesting question, and the story is very fascinating, by the way, would you tell this story, to be honest, not yet, i wouldn’t tell it, because it’s generally a story of great faith, when you have 100,000 rubles. like: yes, i’ll buy myself this car, it doesn’t matter that it costs 3.5 million, well , yes, and you do it, yeah, well, this is

the story, but it’s still as if, pay attention, but in this story it’s as if if not - your progressive steps, which you can say for sure, look, first, it means i saved up 100,000 rubles, this was enough for there, i don’t know, for the first payment, let’s assume, yes, then i thought that i would pay the loan for this car for 7 years, and for this i realized that i needed to increase my income. and for this i opened another kindergarten, when i realized that this was not enough, i realized that it was necessary to open a third kindergarten, well, that is , and you would tell the system directly, the fact is that an impostor complex often arises in people, who cannot explain their success, well, it seems to me that i was lucky, it’s true, i have this story that, well, it’s just i have magical thinking, so i count affirmations in the morning, although i, to be honest, have doubts about affirmations when they are not accompanied by actions, naturally because. i related to this, now i understand that, in principle, everything works from thought to word,

from word to action, well, in fact, of course, but only when there is action, when there is action, action, here, the most important moment , remember two simple things, first, and impostors do not have impostor complexes, because the impostor knows that he is an impostor, well, how well, if i tell you now. no, just imagine, i’m now going to tell you about the fact that i’m an opera singer, i’m just working here part-time, it’s like this, in fact i’m an opera singer, well, i ’m going to convince you that i’m an opera singer, where does the impostor complex come from, i will have an impostor complex, if suddenly someone believes me, they will tell me to sing, when i go on stage, probably at this moment i have, well, i’m not going to sing, i ’m just telling you that i’m an opera singer singer or conductor, it doesn’t matter yes, so no, if you have an impostor complex, this is a good sign that tells you that you are not an impostor, that’s interesting, can i ask you a question, this is a little from another opera,

you said that you have a good relationship with your husband, so over 8 years you have managed to build a good relationship with your husband, and at the same time being business partners in more than one project, that is , if i ask you now about how this is done, how you did it, you are a strategist, a clear algorithm that you did, to be honest, i’m listening to you now, i understand that what i really need.

brought it to people, yes, at least. however, i’m probably narrowing it down too much, but this is the concept of the path, i take, as it were , the initial point, i look at myself today and think, well, i was just lucky, well, at the right time, if i’m just lucky, then it’s impossible to become expert, then it is impossible to feel confident about it, but if you see all the milestones that you have passed along the way in relationships, in business decisions that you have made, you will see that we? it’s interesting that about relationships, yes, you asked about relationships, i think i don’t know how to answer, well, i’m just lucky, my husband is great, and i don’t even understand, my husband may not have a very good relationship, yes, that is, i have no idea , understanding some kind of algorithm, that is, where you sometimes need to remain silent, yes, but these were objectively moments when you make some wise decision, which

subsequently helps save, for example, a marriage, so this is what you need to understand. yeah, you have, let's call it bluntly, cases, you have such successful cases that you just need to analyze using this algorithm and then you won’t need the approval of either your grandmother or anyone from the outside, then most likely you will have a question: do you need this large-scale business, your own or what you now you have, this is what you really want and what you are doing in general. you want what makes you really happy, moreover, no matter what you think about, the second part i wanted to say, the first one is about the fact that impostors do not have a complex impostor, the second simple thing i said, two things need to be remembered, the second is exactly how you yourself came to this, digitize your experience, well, relatively speaking, yes, digitize, so if they wake you up tomorrow

night and ask, like, how did you become there is who you have become, suppose, yes there, why do you live in moscow, and not... in almaty, why do you live like this, and not like this, there is a very important point there, that even in childhood i never agreed with where i was, well, relatively speaking, i didn’t want to be there, i always wanted to be there in another place, that’s it, that’s it this was the first decision that was made, and yes, your loved ones, solely out of love for you and the desire to protect you, told you all sorts of phrases, such as i was born somewhere, it fit there and much more. in this sense, you did not agree with this and being disagreeable, this is the first step, so tomorrow if you are asked how to open a business, here is the first thing you need to say, you must be prepared to disagree with that , where you are, yeah, under no circumstances agree with what you earn there, i don’t know, so much money, and not 10 times more, suppose, yes

, or that you drive such and such a car, and not a better one, and so on and so forth, and this is the first step, it will always be the first, even now. when you say that you want to scale your business or you want to create yourself as a business woman who will be known to everyone in magazines on the pages of all sorts of famous ones, so to speak, to shine, that anyway you will have to disagree here now where you are, yes, but the question is, do you really want to? babysitting for a child, i won’t be able to do homework with him, so i’m probably here today so that

it could happen that all the people who are important people for you today, grandma, mom, dad, friends, girlfriends there and so on, they’ve all disappeared , this goal will still be relevant for you, i can’t say that it’s 100% right, this is one of the test tasks like, well, it doesn’t matter, i want to change the car, yes, but what if no one ever finds out about this car , or for example, i want to become famous, but what if suddenly here i am i will become famous, but in brazil and no one ever in russia. finds out that i have become the most famous presenter in brazil, how would it still be just as good for me or would i still like this would be a condition, let’s say you will need to sign a contract, yes, which, in which you are so shady, and ?

you earn money, no one will know that you are standing there, no one will ever know how long you have been at the head of this business, well, this can happen, and if you are still interested in it, then it is definitely yours, then you will be ready to quit for the sake of it mountains, but if, after all, there is definitely some classmate standing there who should see it out of envy. fall, then with a high degree of probability you will not hit her, because she will always devalue your experience, your result, and most importantly, you will not receive this prize, you will not be happy there, because there will never be enough, and yes , i can’t say that this is very interesting for me, but it’s publicity, media exposure, fame, these concepts that are interesting... well, okay, this could also be in brazil or there in north korea, you will be the most famous in italy somewhere, no, maybe in italy, but no one will know you there, except,

well, i mean, the italians will know you, that ’s my the children will know, my husband, then this is for the children and husband, well, yes, why do you want to show them this, well, this is a phrase, so that they are proud of me, so that the children sit and watch, oh mom, and they show it there. this one is not valued at all, not valued at all, not valued, can you imagine, i still believe in this illusion that they will value something, that it will be somehow inspire them, go forward, motivate them, look, this does not mean that this should not be done, you just have to understand that these people will never appreciate it, you know, it seems to me that this consciousness will be at least important for me . before today’s meeting with you, what about impostor syndrome, just in general, i never thought about the fact that an impostor, he does not feel that he is an impostor, and about the fact

that if you expect some kind of approval from someone , then you definitely won’t get it, just get used to the idea that you are from these people you will never get anything, the main thing is that you will be in such a stupid position when you put your whole life on the fact that this conditional classmate... sees this and faints, and she either doesn’t see it or doesn’t fall and you just end up with the feeling that you lived your life for someone, you know, i remember, for example, myself in childhood, when i was at school, some students came to our teachers there, well , who 10 years ago graduated from school, and these are some guys, yes, we are supposedly 12, and he is 22, he came there from the army. in uniform, conditionally visiting, i then dreamed of being a naval sailor, and i, of course, imagined that one day i would also come to my home school, which means in the uniform, of course, definitely

a captain of the first rank, and how beautiful it would be in full dress uniform, with a dagger and all the business, life turned out completely differently, firstly, i’m not a sailor, secondly, i can’t come to my school, thirdly, these teachers are no longer there, yes, but here this is the feeling that i will definitely be mine steps there along the school corridor. what do you know why will you do this, well, for example, i will create a big business in order to be able to help people in my hometown, suppose i open

a kindergarten there, which will be completely there, i don’t know, free, accessible , with a french slant, with a mathematical slant, it doesn’t matter, but i’ll do it, i ’m doing it in order to realize this, to have a vision of some kind of mission, for the sake of which, yes, that is, what will happen, even if you are not it will happen and no one will know that you did it, well, apparently, that ’s why i don’t have it yet, because i don’t understand that, that is, success is such a bonus that no one will appreciate, no one needs it except us, that’s it, there , there is a point, one day many years ago a girl came to me, whom i had known for a long time, she came to me for a session, and i asked how you were doing, she speaks poorly, i say, listen, that’s how i saw you recently. on a social network, yes, i say, you're doing well there, she says, have you seen anyone, whoever has a bad time there, for me then it turned out to be consciousness, i suddenly realized that it’s true, this is such a fair of glory, where everything

is still... well, that is, it’s such a soap bubble that still somehow works, but in in general, the context is already clear, well, in general, you need to understand that this is only a tool to achieve some goal , use it for its intended purpose, exclusively, and most importantly, you know, i often, for example, recommend it to people who come to me there for trainings or working with words that they want, for example, there earning 20 times more than they earn now is great, then i ask accordingly, where are

the people who earn this much? as much as you want to earn, well , suppose this person says, well, they hang out there in expensive restaurants, i say, okay, go to a couple of such expensive restaurants, then you come, tell me how you felt, yeah, yeah, well it happens in different ways, i myself also kind of did this once, then a person comes and says: listen, i didn’t like something there, but what i didn’t like it, but well, i didn’t like it, because everything there, everyone is kind of pompous, everyone there is also some kind of fair, arrogance.

these are the beliefs that may not allow you to go there, and i wrote some time ago, i even had a video about some kind of content about how when we want to be, it is now fashionable to talk from point to point b, we there is not enough faith in point b, for one simple reason: i, the one in whom i believe here, now, today, here i am, sergey, there is such and such, such and such, yes, i don’t believe in that,

that i can be what i will be there. at this point b, i don’t believe in this money, i don’t believe in success, i don’t believe in myself, who may be there, and this is also a very difficult job, so if you look at someone, only for in order to see how you will look through the eyes of people who have never been there, uh-huh, this is important, it turns out to track your reactions, yes, because it is these reactions that will stop you, but i think that they stop me in some way - to the extent that it turns out... there everything goes over the heads, or as they once told me, why do i say that now there are diametrically different paths, i have in my head what to choose and what to choose, and such a split occurs, because once it hurt me very much, i was told that i was like a man, and it became wildly unpleasant for me at that moment, i’m thinking right now that maybe it’s really there

... in big business, yes, relatively speaking, that ’s where i’m at i want it like this, that is, they are not women, in fact, they have more masculine energy rather than feminine, then why do i want to go there, if i’m offended by the fact that they called me like that, it feels like you don’t need to get somewhere there, on the contrary , return to yourself and figure out who you really are, and for... what is this race for, for what prize, yeah, and who will you bring this prize to, you will take it to your grandmother, who will not appreciate it, you will keep it with you, you will be fine with it, that’s the answer, well, probably on the contrary, now after talking with you, i have a feeling that i should now there, after 8 years in business, on the contrary, i want to be a mother, that’s why, for some reason, to be

that mother who... takes care of her children, well, at the same time, i can’t say that this could greatly harm some kind of realization , but maybe to make it easier to reset somehow. some kind of internal ballast, which greatly interferes with movement, well, it turns out that everyone, through some kind of constant resistance , must also understand that your children need you as a mother, well, up to 12 years old, that’s exactly how i understand this point, what now for my son seven, my daughter is five, at the age of 12 they will tell me: mom, close the door, come out, and this moment really scares me, not only does it scare me .

they didn’t say, i ’ve put so many years on you here, but i gave it to you, it’s worth doing just for yourself, to feel like a mother, to be a mother for yourself, not for them, to try. this is the quality of trying out such a part of life and at the same time agreeing with your spouse, your business partner, that for these 7 years you perform 80% maternal function there 20% function as a business partner, then it can change if you want, or maybe you’ll give birth to a third by then, no one knows, i’m just wondering why you said this, you can read it in your eyes, because i’m like for once, with my eldest son , it seems to me that i missed out on some kind of pleasure, probably motherhood, because... i just didn’t enjoy it, honestly, i think, why at all, why? well, i was 22 years old, and i’m kind of like a business kid here, all this somehow at the same time, in the end now i want a third one in order to

enjoy it, with each subsequent child there will be more pleasure, of course, that’s for sure, but, but still, you know, even this needs to be done, as tatyana rightly said, you need to do it for yourself in this i mean, yeah.

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hello, this is the baden badon podcast and i am its host, konstantin severinov. today we will talk about.

work as a result of some kind of breakdown at the genome level, and breakdown, most often inherited, that is, the total number of patients annually who... well, is included in the area of ​​interest, the center, the area of ​​our competence, is about 5-600 people, at what age can the debut of such a disease occur? here the question is a little broken down, because when we talk about childhood cancer or oncological diseases in children, we are talking about several dozen, at least, and maybe several hundred different diseases, and for each there is its own statistics, but if we talk about the most frequent tumor. children, this is acute lymphoblastic leukemia, this is a tumor of cells

that were going to become cells of the immune system, lymphocytes, but along the way there was a failure, they turned into a tumor, but for acute lymphoblastic leukemia, what is called, well, the peak, if you want , of incidence occurs at age 4 years, but a child can get sick immediately after birth at 18 years old, and you said that this is inherited, that is, these are... children of parents who are already sick, why, why does this even occur, why at 4 years old, why not right away, the first thing is whether this tumor has a hereditary cause, and the answer, unfortunately, is not entirely unambiguous, i would say, most likely no, yes, that is, if we take all patients with acute leukemia, the proportion of patients with a hereditary predisposition, with some kind of hereditary factor then, about 10%, but no more, according to various estimates, from 5 to 10%. by investigative factor you mean that the parents

are also sick, or have some kind of predisposing gene, or a mutation that predisposes to the development of a tumor, directly inherited tumors, and those when a parent passes on a tumor by inheritance, this of course almost never happens, this is a completely exclusive situation, unique, but there are genes that seem to predispose to the development of a tumor, these are the genes that are passed on from generation to generation, what? that is, a directly separate gene, that is, you and i don’t have such a gene, pah-pah-pah, but someone has it, maybe you and i have such a gene, or rather, we are talking more likely not about a gene, about what -polymorphism, yes, that is, about a gene variant, some kind of amino acid substitution, which it works a little differently, that is, it is a damaged version of the gene, healthy people also have such a gene, but in people with a predisposition or patients, it is slightly changed, and do you know what these changes are for you? you need to know, if a patient comes to you, what is the cause of his

genetic disease? yes, of course, the answer is yes and yes, because, firstly, there are breakdowns that greatly affect the behavior of the tumor, yes, there are mutations that make the tumor insensitive to conventional therapy, well, here is the simplest example a very well-known gene in oncology, not only in pediatric oncology, but in adults there is such a gene p-53, yes, which encodes a protein that... controls cell death and the cell’s reaction to genetic damage, so if such a damaged version of this is inherited gene - then - firstly, the patient has a much greater risk of developing various tumors , including because in this case cell death is good, that is, if this gene is damaged, then the cells do not die; the cells die poorly, they do not know how to die then , when necessary, yes, that is, she does not obey instructions and... does not die, here are patients with mutations in such a gene, for example, they

respond poorly to conventional treatment, they require special treatment, including bone marrow transplantation, and another reason , why it is important for us to know this genetic predisposition, this is because then we can advise the family, like you, you are still a surgeon, or in any case, well, it’s just that doctors are usually not progenes, but doctors are pro... oncology was born as a surgical specialty, but pediatric oncology, of course, is far from just surgical, because most of the tumors in children, or most of them, are tumors originating from blood cells and the immune system, and these tumors most often do not grow in one place, they cannot be removed surgically, they most often right away, well, in a sense, you can say that...

it will melt from year to year, sometimes it seems that day by day, yes, that is, but how do you look at genes, how do your doctors look at the genes of your patients, what does it even mean to look at or check the status of a gene? well, historically, these were very simple, or rather, when these methods appeared, they did not seem so simple, somewhere in the middle, probably of the 20th century , methods for coloring chromosomes appeared, yes, when a cell in the process of division

has a breakdown at the level, it can be a very large breakdown, yes, a chromosome break, the exchange of large pieces of chromosomes among themselves, or maybe a very small breakdown, like the replacement of one letter among the billions that actually make up the genome of the cell, but from this point of view, any oncological the disease is genetic in nature and i still remember it. sometimes there are some phrases that you don’t need to read the whole book, sometimes it’s enough to read the title, so i still have in my head such a phrase from the book that you should be more familiar with was such a book by alberts, molecular biology

cells, yes, this is such a university bible, ours is molecular, and at the very end there was a subchapter dedicated to cancer onology. in a sense this is, that is, the cells of our body, and cells of our body, somatic genetic disease of somatic cells, cells, this means those cells that will not pass on their genetic information to offspring, there are germinal cells, cells that are either gametes, and cells that can become a new organism, yes, an egg , sperm, they are formed. in the body, if there is a mutation in these cells, it has a chance to continue in the offspring, but there are somatic cells, the majority of them, trillions of them in the body, and...