hello, hello, i see that hercin has become your second office, practically, double whiskey without a lie, okay, vanya, you are involved in tar. “it seems to me that the fsb is now dealing with it, and i have an exclusive, a video from a crime scene, a witness, they sell the video, they ask for 1500 dollars, oh, 1500 is a lot of money, well, it depends on what’s in the video, thank you, well , okay, let’s say there’s something there- is it worth it"? what

's next, what's next, van, i don't have money, so i came to you with an offer, of course, i came to mutually ask for money, right? i those who are banks that issue consumer loans to the population, right? are you kidding me? ok, be kidding. ver, what do you want from me? vanya, if i alone investigate the case.

have you seen the video yourself? no, i see, okay, let’s do it this way, you bring the seller here with a video, we watch it, if there’s really something worthwhile there, then, then we buy it, i’ll give the money, whatever you say, just let’s first discuss the terms of our joint work. "you know, only lovers or exes pay for me in restaurants husbands, and you had them, vanechka, but no one told you that you are a very unpleasant man, and when we watch the video, i have to call you and discuss the conditions, keep me informed,

andryukh, hi, can you talk? there is very important information for you. hello, i'm listening to you carefully. today i spoke with a journalist named vera turshitskaya. in general, she has a witness and a video from the scene of osmolov’s murder. do you know the names of the witnesses? no, i don't know anything else. in general, she invites me to write a joint report, video will be shown at the meeting. we agreed in 2 hours. van, you

will help us a lot. where do you meet? but, andryush, i have one condition. i should post this first. well, of course, after you catch all the bandits. for malfeasance. come in,

the object's departure has been filmed.

video on your phone, show me, show me the money first.

the download link is available for an hour, the download takes 10 minutes, if the money is fake, i will block it in 5 minutes.

hello, this is a psyche podcast, today we will talk about how to build a life, be happy, even in the situation when it happened... well, let's just say that sexualized violence on channel one was just the premiere of the series mutual consent by valery gaigermaniki, dedicated to the problem of sexualized violence. our today's heroine, elena, experienced such violence in her childhood and, unfortunately, this experience distorted and complicated her entire future. life, but we will try to find the path to happiness and joy, which i personally believe is still

possible. together with psychologist tatyana galich, we will try to do this. hello elena, i'm i won’t traumatize you by asking you to tell me the details of what happened. let us tell you, we will probably talk about what has been preventing you from living your life since that moment, how do you find it for yourself... you say, what difficulties arose in your personal life and how did you try to deal with it and the consequences of this monstrous experience? well, first of all, it ’s just a feeling of some kind of guilt, it ’s probably still there, although i’ve worked through it, explained it to myself, listened to a lot of videos, talked to people - some kind of feeling of such guilt that i’m doing something wrong, i it’s my own fault that this happened to me,

it’s as if some heavy blanket or coat is thrown over me, or something is smeared with some kind of paint, that i have no right to approach society, then there are consequences, well, this happened in childhood, that is, there is a kindergarten, a school, and then, when there was music... college, in principle, somehow i could get closer to people, communicate, i sometimes watched how the girls interacted, at school i was not able to see, how girls communicate , try to communicate as well, that is , new people made contact, but after a day or two weeks, they somehow also pulled away and i think why it was easier at the music school, because i’m musical.

where you need to rejoice, where you need to do what, somehow i was also detached, and seeing how people, for example, can communicate without a topic, that is, sit down at some table, yes, some kind of party and just like -it’s easy to communicate, i sat at these parties, ate something, shared something with someone, but never, well, i was like this. elena, but at the same time you got married,

i think you have three children, three, well, that is after all, this experience, it still allowed you to arrange your personal life, well , yes, i tried to copy the behavior of other people, women, girls that i liked, sometimes i even could, that is , as if you were not living your own life , yes, that’s how... this is my life, i can talk for hours, you can’t stop me, i have no barriers, i have no complexes, i can talk, talk only here, in life, in life , let’s say with my first husband , and i actually played the wrong image, here we are, we have a marriage along with our meeting, plus a marriage of everything there in general difficulty 3 years, i was what you played.

pre-retirement, you're great, you made it, you, you look good, i look in the mirror, what i see in the mirror is not a girl, not because when i communicate with men, if i feel some kind of...

i immediately want to run very much quickly hide in a corner hug and sit like that now what would you like to change well, first of all , change my attitude towards now maybe some water not now but... my attitude towards people in general is my own, because it seems to me that i’m still in at that age, it pops up regardless, you are still in danger from the place, it’s somehow, well, uncomfortable, terrible, because even due to my age, i can’t, say,

cry without consequences, it’s a surge in pressure, it’s my hands sweating, it starts, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s stupid , because adults, they, well, are not so whiny, i would also like, firstly, i, i have three children, two girls, and i really wanted in my children, girls, firstly, to protect them from this strange world, which can be good, or can turn out so wrong that it doesn’t god forbid, that's why i...

children, that if you feel something wrong, just yell, scream, attract passers-by, bite, i don't know, do something and so on, so that, even if, even if you were mistaken , daughter in this behavior, that no one wanted to disturb your virginity or some kind of honor, it’s better to re-pere, well, play it safe, they will forgive you later, write it off as age, some kind of female hysteria, but stay... whole, i want to turn to our psychologist now. tatyana, well, i immediately saw such whole ones layers of problems, questions, but i read a lot, studies and diaries of psychologists who worked with children with adults who experienced violence in childhood and there

are completely different methods of approach, some work to completely replace this memory, some . you see, here, in fact, everyone has a different degree of damage, but sometimes some kind of traumatism may not even be expressed, there is an encroachment of direct action, but with what and from what suffering comes from neglect, defenselessness,

you see, the fact is that it is precisely this defenselessness that gives us this very traumatic experience. the safety of the world, that the whole world is somehow unsafe, yes, at the same time, you seem to even say that it’s wonderful that you raised your children in this, in some kind of system that was a little different, but it was so.

he behaves differently, he looks different, it’s as if he doesn’t exist for you, that is, selena doesn’t even seem to read her radar from a man, although perhaps they appear every day, they would be happy to just

go for a quiet walk, drink coffee, yes because you understand, again, age, as you say, yes, this is such a safe enough space, not everyone here needs so much of this intimacy, more attention to intellectual intimacy, to some kind. antiquity to somehow start making good friends, communicating, but this happened to her before, when she was 30 years old, these are like the consequences of this trauma, which i know very well what it looks like that’s why my psyche does everything, well, there’s a predator that needs to be singled out, so i i highlight our psyche anyway, so it is very important to start by shifting the filters, that the world is generally safe, as an adult. can we do this to ourselves? i mean in a vision or what? well, i don’t know how to control it yet, it just happens somehow. so what do the spirits tell us? it's not

him, what do you mean it's not him? do we have all the evidence? i myself don’t know how to explain it, but i saw it on the one who killed two faces, what should i sculpt here? from now on it will be more interesting, stop sulking, i’ll see you with them again. work, you can collect things, these two are at the table, they shouldn’t be together today, you can’t save everyone, i can’t do this anymore, i want to become ordinary again, normal, fortune teller, tomorrow is the first one, well, don’t quarrel with her, let’s hang out, lyosh, you understand, we must, we must caress, family day, love and fidelity, a festive concert next sunday on the first. this is a

psych podcast and today we are talking about sexualized violence and its victims. there is such a very good technique, yes, when anxiety begins to grow, here you have a wonderful niche where you are a queen, i can’t say it any other way, well, just a queen, yes, where you are strong. come on, from this position, if we start living, imagine that all life is a salfeju, what a wonderful metaphor, life is a salfeju, you know some part of it, you are an expert in some part, to unfortunately, this is so, you know,

she died in this childish state, but there is some other part, i need to somehow get it out of there a little, which lives, blossoms, achieves, in general, yes, preserving this feminine appearance is precisely the achievement of this part, look, we have a traumatized part, there is a surviving part, and there is always a healthy part, your task now is to learn to live with the healthy part that you have, just shift the focus of attention a little , we can’t -

as if we were the last ones, since the age of eighteen i began to study the psyche, psychiatry, psychology, look at everything, first then choose, in general, i made for myself such a picture of the world, that everything that happened to me, it's not mine problem, this is the problem of a person who is mentally ill, that this is not mine, i am not responsible for it, it was such a funny, stupid experience, this is...

rethink this experience, remove from yourself this disgusting monstrous feeling of guilt for what which, of course, is not your fault, in general it is advisable for outside specialists to help, maybe psychologists, i don’t know, if this is a religious family, but people there are included in the religious community, some of

the consultants, some of the friends. why? because in reality, how many children are they don’t tell this, they don’t tell adult women about this at all, because this feeling arises that i’m dirty, i’m to blame, this happened to me through my fault, and rightly so, this is the position that i testify to what’s happening to me happened, i am a witness in this trial, and maybe even the victim is a witness, but in no way am i an active participant in all of this. why is this happening? you said correctly, this is a transmental problem, it is not only for our society, it is generally, in principle, the experience of a person who has experienced trauma, because this trauma splits our psyche, we can no longer communicate normally with people, we will take any trauma now, and there is post-traumatic stress of any spectrum, i am somehow different, i don’t understand what’s wrong with me, and my close ones, they are the most strangers, uh, why, because i changed, but they

remained the same, imagine, a child, here he is on the street, yes, what is it, he comes home, and everything is the same there, with him there too communicate, this is a muteness that occurs for a very long time, it’s just not moving, the mouth doesn’t work there, to say these words, even though we take some very loving, accepting, caring parents react earlier, i once complained to whom you complained, to your mother in the morning, and you said what happened to you, yes it happened, because that i was in a lot of pain, the place, and my mother hit me very hard on the cheeks, and i realized that i would never talk about this again, thank you for talking about this, my relationship with my mother, now she is 80 years old, she is in italy , i have a sister , we are 10 and a half years apart, i i became a mother, i taught her to walk, all sorts of diapers, bottles, i raised her,

basically she doesn’t know. what happened to me, i never told while it was happening, i thought there was no need to talk about it, in general i started talking about it only after 30 years, i didn’t tell anyone, i thought that well, i think that it’s great happiness, yes, that elena basically started talking about it, because many women don’t allow you, why do you need to talk, because you know, when we live alone with this whole huge dramas, it is essentially a frightened child in a dark room who cannot see a way out. and as soon as we start talking about it, you know, we turned on the light in the room, immediately all this begins to be perceived differently, immediately there is also support, that is, because it seems to us that this is my unique case, this has never happened to anyone else, i’m sure when you were talking about girls in class, and every other one, just from my experience, yes, this is something to some extent, maybe not so often, but something happened there from relatives, and there

just there on the street and... therefore from high school students, and this is such a common phenomenon, especially like now, we began to actively talk about it, thank god, precisely because started talking. to a school psychologist, to their mother, well, first of all, children are afraid, these girls are afraid of what their mother or psychologist will say, you put on a short skirt, but here’s a common formula, you went where you shouldn’t have walked, for example. another fear, i know it for sure from the cases i read, the information leaks, uh-huh, unfortunately, and the girl receives secondary trauma, because evil, yes, evil, unwise teenagers,

peers, in general, begin to blame her, it turns out to poison her, which only got worse, that’s how, after all, we won’t reboot the whole society right now - i ’ll tell you even more that sometimes retraumatization occurs, even from this very acute reaction of sympathy, when my mother suddenly begins to fight in hysterics, and somehow my poor thing drags lightening, where in general it is soft saying such a procedure to yourself, and this is even more traumatizing here, and even adults are even more traumatized by this, i ’m not talking about a child, about a small one, that’s why we have helplines, there are closed, as it were, anonymous communities on the internet, anonymous a group in which... you can come and talk, you just have to do it, and yes, unfortunately, yes, like the institute of school psychologists , not everything is always so good there, but the problem is objective, with all due respect to colleagues, but sometimes this happens, yes, sometimes it's just there without their fate, in such cases

, again, well, sometimes children hide it, girls hide it simply because they love their mother very much, they understand that if mom finds out now, she won’t survive, she will die, yeah.

the completeness of information that children and teenagers have today is a huge benefit. the media, the internet, a very competent policy in terms of sex education, as if there was a lot of content on this topic, how to behave, lifted this heavy burden, because in general, in fact , it is not clear, again, not a single child doesn’t sleep and doesn’t see that now his mother will come and tell him that you know, something like this can happen to you, be afraid of this world, and also the world of the world, yes,

so children already know this information, quite at an early age , they receive it, they view it, popular bloggers talk about it, thank god, in this regard we have a huge breakthrough, which depends on parents, our task is to always be sustainable for children. accessible, warm, so that no matter what happens, yes, the child understood that i can come home, i can come to mom, to dad, they won’t die, they won’t run out there to kill someone now, right? they will help me, well, maybe at first there will be some negativity there, but they are worried, but overall they will help me, this is the most important thing, question, question, question, now i want to renew my relationship with my mother, it’s been 20, 4 years i haven’t communicated for years, well, she doesn’t make requests, she’s already arriving there, she doesn’t even know that i have three children, she’s only seen the eldest, but i want, where are 80 years old? mom. i don’t have time to communicate with her anymore since

i forgave everyone, i understood everything, all this doesn’t matter, just communicate with her, with my sister, and what can you advise, why do you see obstacles, what do you see as problems here, well, they think that i’m some kind of thing to them, well, many relatives, how dirty, there’s something wrong with me. they want to communicate, so that, probably, they don’t have to feel traumatized, my guilt, but i don’t know, somehow it’s not easy to communicate, well, in general, they need to help me somehow, tell me how it’s possible not even with my mother communicate with my sister, what is the purpose of this communication, what do you want, the purpose is to support the illusion of what is possible and necessary for my children.

this is where i just need to somehow sit down and figure out for myself what i haven’t completed, what i

want to tell them, why, what is the meaning of this, i have it, it seems to me that elena wants to shout to her still living mother and to my younger sister, about how painful it was, about how scary it was, and about the fact that it was not her fault, but i really don’t know, tatyana, if this will help, it doesn’t help. you see, any person, it is very important for him to consider himself good, and as soon as you start , just appear again in their life, but you are undermining this concept of theirs, their idea of ​​themselves, so there will be resistance, well, these are rare, if they were capable of this kind of comprehension, there is wisdom, acceptance, they would have already appeared in your life, but the period is long enough, i don’t think that you are somehow hiding it there as it happens. try it if it makes you feel better, but in reality there is no need to wait,

well, as if you should have your expectations well, yes, what am i even waiting for, just imagine like a picture, like me, that we will sit at the same table, drink tea, there will be some delicious treats, and we will just talk about the weather, although there would be no innuendos, aggression, negativity, something so neutral, even if it was illusory, well, feigned, well , it wouldn’t be true, do you know what happens to children? orphanages who were abandoned by their mother, yes, they have the same illusion that their mother is somehow kind, good, she’s just something i didn’t understand, if i come to her now and tell her that look how great i’ve grown up, look how great i am, look, i have my own family, i’ve achieved a lot, mom suddenly something is there, some gears will fall into place, and we will suddenly find ourselves in some magical reality, where this table is set, where these delicacies stand, where we drink tea, if the family was not capable of this.

in general, what happened, this is a very traumatic process, very difficult, traumatic, the criminal must be punished, so again, i’m not saying that this is not necessary you can't do it. but here you need to be very well prepared, how is this thing, and right away , yes, we kind of take it, well, you understand, that is, as if they usually still run to the police first, and that is, as if here we start with the fact that we go for a medical examination, that is, for a medical examination we’re collecting everything, but it’s preferable that it’s not just some kind of local clinic, i don’t know

, but it’s still good, why am i, i don’t mind it being carefully and delicately so that it doesn’t happen. well, everyone generally understands, yes, that sometimes it’s just a simple matter of going to a local gynecologist for women turns into trauma for the next few weeks there, and not to mention here, when everything is right there, everything is everything, and you have to be nearby, at this time we all need to unite, when we remove any emotions as much as possible, and we just decide now we support this task, then we immediately, if possible, somehow take advice from a lawyer, again now , especially since there are many public organizations now.

support cannot be abandoned in the middle, but this is impossible, because the area there is closed further, yes, we are moving on to the next one, right up to making it public. well, friends, today we have touched upon heavy material, the relevance of which, let’s say, is undeniable; it has probably always been so, in the case of sexualized violence, we have known since ancient times. but thank god, today we are talking about this openly, professionally, deeply, considering all aspects, because the past cannot be changed, but there is a present, there is a future, and it’s great if not only the person who is in trouble, but

the whole society can unite , concentrate on helping the victim, making sure there is life. joyful happy, i am grateful to our today’s heroine for her courage and openness for the opportunity to talk about this rather difficult, but necessary for understanding the situation, this is a psychic podcast, you can watch all episodes of our podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru, very cool, i’m nowhere to be found hug, cry, you can’t, tatyana and i ask you to cry, you have to cry, why, why? save the lesson , be hard in the evening, cry in the evening, in bathroom, yes, why in the bathroom, so that the skin, skin, so as not to spoil the skin, you need to plasticize it, it’s more pleasant and...