baskets, it makes sense for the period there, i think that at least starting from 3 years, yes, when you have already decided on your basket, with categories, i would say that it is probably even correct to count your expenses for each category , i wouldn’t, honestly, i’m not that meticulous, here i am with large strokes, i have stupidly add 10%, i add 8%, and that’s roughly how it works for me, it all works out, plus or minus, if so yes, by the way, we ’re talking to you about mistakes in the process, here’s another thing. there is an error, for example, if a person starts spending more, he doesn’t, he just takes it for granted, and here it’s better to do this, if you see that you are getting out of more than 5% of your plan, yes, well, about 5%, then you definitely need to find out the reason , sit down to analyze what it is, maybe it has jumped too much, prices have jumped, or maybe something has changed in your life, or maybe you have lost control, because in fact, in fact, we... always, you forgive me, please, we

always earn more than we need, because - a very large part, we always earn more than we need, always more than we need, a very large part of the expenses comes as a result of emotions, occurs as a result of emotions, and no matter what the income, i talked to a huge number of people, there are clients, it’s just that there are subscribers, friends, acquaintances, comrades, even if you earn 3,000 rubles, you always have some emotional part in your expenses, so... it needs to be controlled, but again, excuse me, please, mikhail, i don’t care i'm not saying at all that you have to live on a train, and this is another mistake, we must live happily today in the future, that is, we must always find such a balance, like this, like this, that some kind of middle ground, so as not to save, in no case, saving is when we go to the very we buy rotten tomatoes at a cheap store, that’s not necessary, if we take it, plan a budget, go, i have four children. i

agree with you, so i’m going to the wholesale base and i take it at the same price as in the stores, the tomatoes are much better, this is the optimal use of money, that is, saving nothing in no case is it possible, but you need to make optimal use of the money and you must not save, you must stick to the budget that you have planned for yourself, and you must clearly, i would like to separately highlight this mistake, you must... react immediately if you have any - more people fall out of the categories, as alexey told us, than 5%, this is already a reason to think about it, i communicate quite a lot with your colleagues, in principle , starting to manage periodically myself, now starting and then finishing the budget, i am convinced that always, as you said, we earn more than we need, so i invite all of our audience to check by starting to keep a budget. in a few months, you

can absolutely calmly take 10% of your current level of income, and this will be a kind of fund that can always remain undistributed if you start to control your spending, is this true or not? yes, i can give one example, about 10 years ago a young guy i knew came up to me, he was 23 years old at the time, he said: alexey, i ’m thinking about the future, what should i do, how? i i say: dima, how much do you earn now? he says 30,000 rubles. i say, great, save 10%, he says, how can i not, imagine the situation that tomorrow your employer told you that i’m sorry, dmitry, we have difficulties, now you get 27, you’ll quit, no, something’s wrong something extraordinary will happen to you, he says, no, save 3.00 rubles. and you and i will then see what to do, what to do next, and of course, i explained the situation to him there, this is just an example, and what happened next, he refused, well, i can say so, from my own experience, this...

you must do this, this is your responsibility, the first step is to at least start taking into account, yes, start, start writing everything down, start taking into account expenses, in the family, if, if we are talking about family, then decide. who will be the main minister of finance, usually, you know, if a man works there and a woman is a housewife, usually women are the minister of finance, and this, by the way, you know, it’s a little bit for men, some men are just afraid to give up the reins of power, don’t be afraid , if you are one, then you have a wife will help with this, it will just take off this other burden from yourself, as an entrepreneur, usually, why is an entrepreneur usually at home with financial problems, but because? he’s tired at work, and any top manager there, just some employee, he’s tired at work, he doesn’t have enough time at home to do this. continuing your topic, i want to note that from my own experience, i did this exercise at one time, there is more money, that is, if you entrust the money to your wife, an intelligent woman whom you

have chosen as your companion, yes, and not using there, with the advice of someone’s magazines, you chose just a beautiful picture for yourself, and you chose the right person, then believe me that this person... she is more into the family, here is a woman here just for the budget, she can take such a role of control, very a good role, for example, i don’t really like to write it all down, although it seems like i should, yes, my wife, she’s wonderful, she’s a lover of all this, put it all into pieces, and we found one, we have synergy, everyone does their own, the woman

is the minister of finance, definitely, women think about consequences of decisions made, a man thinks about how he will make this decision, and a woman, as a rule... yes, they think more about risks, about risks. if we are talking about, developing further, yes, because in principle, well, if we don’t go into details, then there is nothing complicated to start managing a budget, yes, let’s take a few small steps towards a financial strategy, to the financial plan, that is , let’s say we have mastered the budget, budgeting, you and i. started recording in a way convenient for us look, right here, step by step, by mistakes, you and i motivated ourselves, why we did this, and then we started, say, at the end of the month, if everything is good, to buy ourselves some kind of bun there or fulfill some kind of wish to the entire family, yes, we can say that guys, if we are on a budget,

then we are 10% there, everyone chooses some little amenity for themselves and we implemented it, you are just a savvy person, mikhail, we really need to give our brains proof that's why we're doing the right thing. i need some stuff a little bun, when everything is good, and what do you think, be sure to have one? by the way, you know, here ’s what’s best to do, so that when i’m out of budget, when i was clearly at fault, did something wrong, tell me when i ask this question, they immediately begin to come up with such stories, for example, to take some amount and put it aside, that is, this is the money that would go to the wish list , put it aside somewhere, or take it and invest it somewhere. or give it somewhere to charity, all these options, they don't work, why? because if we just put this amount aside, then our brain will say, well, okay, we’ll spend it tomorrow, if it’s on investments, then well done, you invested for a purpose, if it’s charity, you’re great, you’re good for the cats ,

helped cats, so here is an effective method, tested repeatedly, you need to burn this amount, which is set aside on your wish list, it sounds terrible. we did everything right, but we spent it, no, not it, we just did something wrong, wrong, some kind of emotional purchase, that is, we wouldn’t tell from an attentive listener, but where did we get the money for the non-national purchase, where did that come from, well , it’s just, well, we have it set aside and at

the very beginning, we have to get rid of this money so that the brain realized that we had lost them irrevocably, but the best way was to burn them. physically, physically , that is, we take cash, cash that was supposed to be used for what is called encouraging ourselves, we collect all the wives, children, grandmothers, you say very correctly. it's better to do it like this officially , according to my practice, i had probably seven or eight times when people were burned once, three times when they were knocked out twice, well, well, three times there was one, this means what, that the person is in his it’s imprinted on the brain that i’m like this, because i made a national purchase, i had to burn the money, he won’t allow himself to do that later, his subconscious , yes,

fix it, because there are no people who are born with such an iron financial discipline, there is not a single person in general, i teach children from childhood to work with money, i each have a brokerage account, even three-year-old dani, and i sit down with everyone, every month, and do something, show them, because yes, it doesn’t matter , he doesn’t understand anything right now, but he is gradually developing patterns, and for him later it will be an absolutely understandable tool and... most importantly, he will perceive it as a matter of course on tv, of course, for a child, my

task is how the head of the family to ensure that the child has competent communication with money the same natural process as brushing your teeth, what to do if you - let's say, started to keep a budget, but let's move from simple to complex, you understand that you are sorely lacking money for implementation. some basic and ordinary plans, what to do at this moment? suppose we have already optimized everything, optimized all expenses, and there is not enough, grow, grow, we cannot forever reduce our expenses, optimize expenses, but we can grow endlessly in income, no one limits us, no one is to blame for what we have we have life, we make it ourselves, therefore. there are people who have a different opinion, but they will not grow, they will always sit still, that is, if you have

a head, two arms, two legs, you breathe on your own, you walk, you consume food, there are no restrictions on what you increased in income, yes, well, here also, by the way , about mistakes, we talk about them in the process, loans, a very important point, i would like to stop, there are good loans, there are bad loans, a good loan is the loan that ... that i need it for work, it will bring me money and that i will receive money at the beginning of the year, and

we were talking about september october, so this is a purchase if you make it with credit money, firstly, now is the grace period on cards allows this kind of terms to be inserted into the interest-free period, and this is credit money, you know, yes, there is a risk that you will not receive the income that you were counting on, but in any case, this should not be a purchase but an emotional one for once. to dampen the effects of other tablets, that you drank before, you became even worse, yes, well, that’s realistic, that is, you can relate

to loans, what does this mean, something is wrong in koroevstvo, a loan is a lack of planning, it means that you plan poorly, or you don’t plan at all, or you don’t plan at all, yes, because i mentioned a mortgage and a business loan, i haven’t seen a single example of another loan that can be justified, they tried to give me many different examples, there is not a single loan, one goal.

i think this is a mask for everyone, that is everyone should do. let’s get into this topic a little bit, let’s delve deeper into the airbag, are you a supporter or not of such savings, well, whatever you want to call them, yes, of course, it’s obligatory without this, how much, how much average monthly expenses should a family have in the airbag? well, 3-6 months of life is enough, of course, if an entrepreneur who has an unstable income is some kind of self-employed, well, it’s possible for a year, but...

loans can be planned for everything in advance and just taken into account, thought about, and the risks thought through. well in general, to summarize our conversation, the topic is actually endless, and we have now only examined the first layer, telling our audience that the answer to the question of how to start managing a family budget, the answer is very simple: start, well, really, no matter how funny it is and it sounds simple, just start writing down all your expenses and income, then understanding will come on its own, well, if you... watch our podcast again, how to work with it, what mistakes there are, and then, correctly, having completed this task, you will come to financial planning, where you can already set long-term goals and objectives, including their own development and the development of their children, that is, delving indefinitely into any horizons. thank you very much, alexey, i

think that we had a very high-quality conversation, sorted out the mistakes, recorded them, walked somewhere there, trampled smoothly. enough to remember, especially thank you for that wonderful advice about burning, uh, if you missed this point, be sure to review it, about burning money, yes, yes, yes, you heard right, there is a very useful exercise when you need to burn money, it was the easy money podcast, i’m its host, mikhail khanov, and we talked about the family budget, you can find all episodes of the easy money podcast on the website of channel one. hello, dear tv viewers, you are watching the labtiger podcast with you its host tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist, psychotherapist

sergei nasebyan, our guest today is svetlana. hello, svetlana, hello, svetlana. tell us how we can be useful to you? i have such a request, i already want a relationship, if i didn’t want it before, now i already feel what i want, i’m ready for a relationship, but i can’t build a relationship, moreover, my life has been there for the last few years, well , men don’t come at all, that is, they don’t even just appear in my field , in order to at least somehow interact with them, i have such a request that you help me figure this out, because i really don’t understand.

with whom i also worked and also did not help build a relationship there, then it seemed to me that i was not feminine enough, i am in this too i have worked in this direction, this is obvious, and it seems to me that i am already, well, today , well, well, not ideal, but it is said loudly that i am good enough to build a relationship with a man, but well, they just don’t even appear in my field, that is, there is no desire even for them to get to know me, somehow? start a relationship there, and i really don’t understand why this is happening, maybe i’m broadcasting something that, well, well, that i’m pushing them away, yes, or something, well, somehow, well, i don’t understand, really, i already am. well, to be honest, yes

, to find something worthy there, you probably need to go there and do some digging, well , even, well, this is the situation, even if they appear there, yes, that is, conditionally, there is a man who, well, kind of likes it, yes well , you like it so much visually, right? separated, then he said that i would call you there, he called me the next day, he said that he was leaving there for a few days to visit friends there, he would come back, call me, and we would meet, so, well, he came back, yes, he called

he told me that he’s not ready for a relationship right now, he’s going through some of his own transformations, so he merged again, yes, well, that is , there actually were a couple of other cases like that, well, that is, well, something, i don’t understand why this is so, i’ll tell you everything now, when you have a man, right? when will your life change? well, i ’ll probably become a little more relaxed, or something, what will he bring into your life that will make you feel relaxed? well, although now i’ve started to have some kind of heart palpitation, as if it were simple some kind of question, but it’s like my heartbeat has somehow increased, do you have children, yes, a 15-year-old daughter, uh-huh, how are you and her? the relationship is wonderful, really, i have a wonderful child, she is very wise, precocious, just a great relationship, well, of course there are some

teenage nuances, but they are very, uh, superficial, when you have a man, how will it change? your life with your daughter, well, my relationship with my daughter probably won’t change, she’s like that for me, well, she’ll understand everything, i think well, most likely... you can build harmonious relationships, but what are you like in a relationship, then when i was in a relationship with my ex-husband, yes, well, i was

then, well, well, let’s say, not very good, yes , that is, i was touchy, i was, i had a lot of complaints, well, because, again , there were some unexamined topics with my parents, in these relationships i behaved maybe... it’s not very nice to say there , yes, that is, he behaved ugly towards me, i behaved ugly towards him, in the end that’s all it ended with us breaking up, and then there was no relationship as such, so i don’t understand, i would be glad for interaction to understand what i’m like in a relationship, so that there would be some kind of feedback, but no, besides that you go to trainings and work through childhood traumas, what else do you do, you work, yes, yes, i work in a leadership position, that is, you are surrounded. yes, well, married people, well wait, men, yes, they exist, yes, yes, and you are there, yes, you, accordingly, have men as in horizontal format,

communication, so in the vertical, in the sense of subordinates, managers, yes, that is , men are everywhere, 180°, 360 in general in the sphere, that is, they are everywhere, yes, great, but there is a dating site, okay? there are some, probably some kind of activity of yours that goes beyond the scope of your work, there, i don’t know, walks, maybe sports, maybe going to restaurants, there are men everywhere, well, yes, yes, yeah, here you are you want to say that none of them shows any attention, well, even if some married men show some attention, then i well, as if i don’t accept this attention, they are married, well... they don’t show it, but married men show attention, as if in what context? in your opinion? well, i think it’s more of a sexual thing, great, that is , the sexual question is all closed, well, yes

, you probably want to say that men don’t appear there, well, yes, yes, okay, now let’s look at it from this side , and what is it that you are hiding from the world and from men, that they don’t see it, you show your sexuality, it’s obvious why and how you don’t show it feeling, emotions, well, because, probably, now i don’t know, now the word

danger has come, that this is dangerous. well, this is really dangerous, and what is so dangerous about this now, well, this is a state of affairs, but it’s unexpected for me, here’s a simple question, for some reason i want to cry, you’re crying, well, i don’t know, about a year and a half ago i went through some kind of internship , where at the level of the soul it was necessary to call the soul of a man, i called and then, when he came, my body was so tight... and it was such an animal fear, well , as if, what if he comes, well, a man comes into my life, then something will definitely happen to me, what is happening to you now, well, i seemed to feel better, as i said about it, i remembered, this was my first relationship, the very first, which, then

it seemed to me as a twenty-one-year-old girl that, in principle, everything was fine with us, but at some point there was an incident, so i decided to leave this relationship, my boyfriend was categorically against this, well, at some point, when we had a verbal altercation there, there was a threat to my life, but then i well, i almost said goodbye to life, because i was very... i had to breathe, i could no longer move, you know, don’t try to calm yourself down with light, but just watch your body, and what’s happening to it, just all the sensations in the body that happen, there is no need to describe them, but just come back to me here through the body, well, that is, there is obviously a connection - between that story, your fear of a man, yes, but i didn’t even remember that there was such a situation, that is, i i remember

some... this one is a little different, but this is me i didn’t remember what happened there, well, they remembered , i remembered, yes, and that’s good, yeah, look, this situation doesn’t necessarily have to happen again, what decision could you make then, when in the end you survived, well, you gave up, essentially, you resigned yourself , stayed for some time, as i understand it, in this relationship, what decision did you make, well, yes, there were 4 days left, because he was nearby, he just didn’t let me go, only when he needed to leave the house, i was there well, i packed my things, called a taxi , left, well, well, it’s probably dangerous, yes, what does it have to do with, well, i thought, for me at that time, it was a serious relationship, i really sincerely loved this person, and in principle all this was normal, until at one moment everything somehow turned upside down with upside down, and he just went from being a normal person to suddenly becoming a beast, what decision did you make, what kind of person

should you be so as not to provoke him.

everything, and how many years were you together? we were together for 4 years at first, then we separated for some time, but since the child was very worried about this breakup, i accepted decision to take him back, which i very much regretted, because well, well, there was no longer a normal relationship, so we lived like that for another 3 years, then, after all, i packed his things and kicked him out the door, what do you think? how, how much were you into these? relationship, i was, it seems to me, in this relationship for exactly a year, while we had a candy-bouquet period there, when he looked after me beautifully, behaved there, well, let’s say , well, so as soon as i became pregnant, as soon as this one disappeared from our lives

violent everyday sex, it naturally changed dramatically, and at that moment i already understood that this man would not be in my life for long, that sooner or later, that it was a matter of time before we parted, because it was quite unanswerable.

there dad, help here, you are a punchy girl, you can handle it, dad, you can help here, i can’t, you can handle it yourself, well , it was always such a moment, and yes, i really coped with everything myself, it’s natural, as it were i had grievances towards my dad, that because somehow he helped his older sister, but it was as if he raised me like a boy, that you can do everything yourself, but how did you explain this to yourself, why such inequality, why does he help your sister, no, well then, little girl, i thought that dad just loved her more than me, so over time i, why, why, why does he love her more than you, because she was kind of quiet, modest, all like that, and i she was like, wow, there's a bitch to bite my sister, to beat my sister, there's a bully there, judging

in all likelihood, he believed in you more than in her, it’s just, well, maybe, yes and no, in general it’s very difficult to be the father of a girl, well, really, because no one teaches you how to do it. and many men want boys there, but i don’t know, or they think that a girl needs to be raised there, i don’t know, in strictness, or on the contrary , it doesn’t matter to pamper her, but they don’t know how to show their love, they don’t understand where this measure of adequacy is, now i’ll spank her a little more, does this mean she will grow up capricious or will i give her as much love as she needs? dad is very lost in this, but it’s true, well, it’s as if men understand that... it’s a man’s world, in it men have a lot of things to prove, explain, show, and men often cannot relax in relationships with a girl, with a daughter. yes, tell me, uh, you grew up like this, well, maybe to some

extent a boyish, yes, uh, shell, i’d like to say, for some reason in the context of a boy, and here you are, for example, on the street, in school, did you feel that your dad was protecting you, no, i don’t feel it, well, that’s probably it. such one of the most important questions that i actually wanted to ask, because it was obvious, a man in himself is an object and such an object of danger, anyone, well, just how to say, by right of force, yes, well , yes, i agree, when you are looking for a strong man to feel protected, you automatically find a man capable of causing harm.

as if i, probably, in this sense, am the result of such evolutionary selection, because i needed a strong one, as if, well, when you are strong. at some point you don't know what to do with this power, it breaks out into all sorts of, well, aggressive behavior, and, unfortunately, there are quite a lot of animals in our behavior, well, let’s remove this accusation of women now, it’s not me, it’s darwin, it’s just a question of what kind of person one should be as a woman, in your opinion, in order for you to cope with this potential aggression, well, in my opinion, you need to be easy, let’s say... so - well , gentle with a man, don’t contradict him, and

don’t be rude, don’t be rude, that’s all like that, what did i do when i was 21, yes, what provoked all this, i understand that i provoked it, well , again, yes, i repeat, i pumped myself up in this regard too, that well, if before i behaved differently there, now i behave differently with men, yes , i see there feedback from the same colleagues who began to treat me differently yes... i see there, i don’t know, about the same neighbors, yes, who are there , well , they treat me differently, like a woman, that is, not like the man who is there, hello, hello there, as it was before, yes, well, differently, that is, i am different, i have changed, that is, i understand that i will not use the methods that i used before, you know, when you watch this program, look at the fact that your complexion and facial expressions have now changed a lot, at the moment when you experienced this , well, drama. your inner life has changed a lot, your face has relaxed, your

facial expressions have relaxed, and your complexion has even changed, that’s why i say, look when you do, thank god, there’s a recording, i can really feel it in my body, yes, it just relaxed, i ’m even sitting straight a little so relaxed, in this relaxed state, i suggest you again ask yourself the question of what will change in your life, when a man appears, i will be happy, and this is the only thing that was needed i would like to answer at this moment, yeah. but what is also important here is the postulate that you will be happy, but you yourself are the cause of happiness, and not the man? yes, i understand this, that is, here too consciousness determines being, ericho from has a wonderful book, it is complex readable, but there is called being, and not seeming, he just describes that being is more important. than to have, uh-huh, right here

, not feminine, not there, i don’t know, smart, cunning, something else, yes, exactly happy, uh-huh, uh-huh, because as soon as you become this source of happiness, a man appears who essentially wants to draw from this source, great, if he is also a source of happiness, you will also want to draw from him, yes, that would be great, this is such an important part. and then it will create uh very, on in my opinion, an important thing, such a concept in relationships as distance, everyone should have a healthy, correct distance in a relationship, yeah, some time ago a couple in a serious crisis approached me, and i talked to one, the other , they ask what we should do, i say, i don’t want to tell you what to do, you need to work, well... i said, you know, turn away from each other

, run, without looking back, at that moment when suddenly you will have a desire to stop and look back, this will be the distance, with which you can start looking at each other, because this distance, where you don’t hurt each other, and until that moment you can’t be near each other at all, i don’t know whether they listened to my advice or not, this... what you need a space in which you feel this freedom to maneuver, that is, to pack your things and leave, essentially, but that’s what you’re talking about, that you couldn’t drive the hare out of the forest, you had to get ready to leave. you are watching the podcast triggers with you, its host is tatyana

krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan, we are talking with svetlana about what fears a beautiful, successful woman might have before a relationship with a man. what makes you happy today? today, well, communication with my daughter fills me, i really love sports, i have a lot of sports in my life, so i...

in this formulation, you know, i conduct social experiments with people, and one of my favorites is, you know, i i’m on the subway, and i see a girl, for example, standing there, well, she’s 30 years old, it doesn’t matter, 26, well, depending on age, i ’ve been conducting this experiment for 20 years, and there she stands, looking at this darkness of the subway window, it’s clear in your eyes that he wants to get married, there’s no mistaking this, i come up and say: hello, can i meet you? reaction in 100% of cases, no, i’m with men, well, like i don’t meet people on the subway, well, something like that, i understand that she stood and dreamed not of a bald little fat armenian, i understand, she dreamed of a handsome viking who will sail

on a boat, take her to the armored paradise, and there they will be in white, she... he and the children will all be in white, and their dogs will be white, and the swings will be white, they will have everything there in paradise like this, here i am, yes, with my bald head there, and i’m trying to get acquainted, it’s so interesting, because, well, how can i say, this is such a reaction, as if it protects her, of course, and makes even some next step untenable , well, on my part, yes, because she refused right away, in this sense, firstly, i think that... as for dating sites, this is more than the norm, now i’m even thinking about a certain one, not now on that week i thought about some idea to describe how women behave on dating sites, because women have different behave on their own, men also differ differently for sure, unfortunately i wasn’t there, i would

love to, please, can i please, in the sense that the development i received now can no longer be rewritten, that’s it... for sure, well because the site is familiar and no different from life, well, what difference does it make, for example, some women say: yes, there are only perverts there, but i know a woman who got married there, thanks to this, and more than one, that’s what i’m saying, to the point that you reconsider your photos, maybe yes on the site dating, because i understand that you might have good photos there, but you just look at the photos that you want to look at, and in order for you to start a little... never in a different way, i'm after myself this version of relationships, because relationships are always about vulnerability, that here we must remember that some recent conflict with tatyana brought out

the degree of anxiety in a relationship is very important, but we are people? we even have a written script about a husband and wife of psychologists who argue all the time, it’s such a comedy, i i came up with a theory for myself that relationships in general are like being in a laughing room with distorting mirrors, just some mirror makes you look better, well, makes you slimmer, yes, some makes you, on the contrary, small, fat, ugly, some somehow bends you, adds some ears, and so on, essentially, being in a relationship with one person... you are in this room, because, as if from the mood of your partner, he reflects to you very different yours but the component parts, yes, that is, your inner basis, and not for each of them i want to see, well, i’m exaggerating something, or how i once complained to my psychologist about tatyana, saying that...