what professions did our guests master on the way to their dream? i also worked as an instructor in the district committee of the komsomol, and since there was no such position, my work record book says cleaner yakuborich. i worked in libraries for 3 years, i really didn't like it, but we have a story about how you returned to your native library, and can we do sovkhs with you? all my professions, whether it was a cook's apprentice, a loader, they were selected taking into account that there would be as much time as possible. to do what you love, i worked on central television, senior accountant, senior, you said, yozhik will be, and what is this, my first entry was in the book, my favorite, night receiver, look at my new one, it was not offensive that everyone listens to you, but no one knows, i was constantly giving away my voice, somehow i was sitting at home having breakfast, i have a radio beacon hanging on the wall and a girl is singing, and i sit there evaluating how well, how the girl sings, such a wonderful voice, this is a psyche podcast,

my name is natalia loseva, i am a journalist, with me in the studio is an expert, a clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences artur timofeev our heroine milena. artur, i don’t even know, now i’ll ask you as a man or as a psychologist, we’ll ask in one bottle, and what is the correct strategy and tactics for a woman, a young, beautiful woman who was left with two children, and still wants her happiness to be like this, well, as we know from books and good films with a man with children, i don’t like the word correctly, but here it’s still important, and what does milena herself want, if she really sees her family as a complete one, yes, when there is a man next to her, and for the children he becomes...

maybe an adoptive father, yes, well, or in some such respect, then why not, yes, this is her picture, she is so comfortable, she wants it so much, if it were not for my positive experience with the last man, which i would have, i just thought that this does not happen, when this happened in my life, i just do not want to give it up now, and i understand that this happens, probably this is...

an important intimate sphere, but nevertheless for that is, emotional contact without physical coexistence cannot be maintained for a long time , he will say, but it is much more difficult, there are always risks that well, after all - when people are together, they adapt to each other, yes , a relationship is a dynamic thing, it develops, develops because each person in a couple changes, as well as the relationship within the couple. when such a break occurs,

despite the fact that yes, you can communicate there via video link, nevertheless, all the same , the lack of a shared life, the lack of... the opportunity to constantly contact each other, create some barriers and the risks of a breakup increase. well, plus we know that physical intimacy is often such an anti-crisis method, yes, many marital conflicts, quarrels, mood swings, they are concealed due to the fact that there is this part of your life. accordingly, i would not again be super categorical and say that... there is no long-distance relationship and it always ends badly, but i would say that it is still quite a complicated thing, relationships are a complicated thing in ideal conditions, here are the divorce statistics since he talks about it, and if we also create some new difficulties, like

distance, the impossibility of seeing each other and some sense of uncertainty, what will happen next, apparently, because as far as i understand. already several months after the lockdown, in which i was alone with the children and realized how important it is for me to have a person, that is, before that, well, once upon a time in my youth there were these stories that we could correspond with someone for a year, we thought, oh my god, this is my love, then we met one once we understood that goodbye, i... you see, i don't want to know you, but here, of course, for 3 years we still saw each other, we had different contacts, there was a lot of warmth, emotional support, at a distance, at the same time physically, there was this, something you could hold on to, feel, meet, when i realized that

there was nothing for 3 months, when the next contact would be unknown, it was scary, it was a terrible tragedy to lose this - of course i had few simple calls, just well , well, after what happened, how long have you not do you communicate? well, the first year we kept in touch, yes, that is, friendly, yes, he called, and congratulated me and the children on their birthdays, he even sent gifts through friends, and at some point i said that it was just too painful for me, that let's not do it at all. well, but still once a year or two, well, like, this year i also wrote to him, i couldn't stand it, asked how, how are you, what are you, he was very happy, he said, well, in general, we talked and agreed that we would be happy to see each other again to see, but when it is not clear, because

nothing has changed for him, he cannot come to russia, and i also cannot get into his country, on neutral territory we also... now we cannot meet, milena, but there were other stories, there were other men, not only this man, yes, those with whom you introduced your children, tell us more about this, yes, at some point i realized that i needed a person, i needed a person here, and i had a friend who, in general, was observing my situation, and he, let's say, came out of the shadows and i imagined him as a friend, a family friend for the children, that is, well , we also spent time together, went to the park, celebrated a birthday, but our relationship did not

work out, actually we broke up, it turns out that the person was in our life, again... the person in our life was gone, the children also had questions, where is this person now, what happened, it was difficult to get their bearings, what to tell the children, but at the same time to be with a person with whom i understand that well, we would not have had the relationship that i would like, in in general, it is traumatic for children. it depends on how you say it, because, as i already said, yes, after 5 years, children begin to understand a lot, and this requires some openness with them, a child can generally understand that people broke up, understanding

that a breakup has occurred will not necessarily be traumatic for a child, well , because children in kindergarten, for example, also became friends within the framework of their relationships. present this information that yes, they started dating, even within the framework of children's terms, they started to be friends, okay, a child is will perceive, they stopped being friends, the child will perceive it too, the concept of love for children is more complicated, but in general it is also possible, it is clear in simple terms, simple concepts, but in general it is possible, yes, there you can first talk about friendship, you can talk about what it is...

for example, to marry him, then yes, the children will ask, will he become, for example, a dad for them, this is also an important point, you already said that a dad is not the one who gave birth, the one who raises, and considering that, well, after all, children, at least the eldest, and he is already of school age, yes, he is 10 years old, now already, yes, it is obvious that he is definitely...

it is normal to talk about these things, and how much younger? the baby is already six, she also understands, and i understand that everyone understands everything, well yes, this is already necessary yes, after all milena did everything right, she imagined this friend of hers, who was a real friend, that he was my, my friend, yes, yes, great, yes, why not, why not? yes, but as for questions about whether he will become a father, in principle, in principle, psychologists usually they recommend making some distinctions, that yes, there is, for example, a biological father, yes, yes, even if there is no actual relationship with him, yeah, we still talk about it, there should still be a distinction, because for teenagers, for example, this is usually important, well, and for teenagers...

that is, both ways, this is important, therefore, the figure of the biological father, yes, he needs to be introduced into the context, that this is what he was like, and maybe even, i don’t know, about the younger one, but to the older one, then tell him, if he has an interest in this, and he already asks questions on this topic, then at least tell how you met, the history of this relationship, and we tell the truth? or an astronaut, a pilot, who else is there, a sailor, the truth, went on a voyage,

did not return, so we tell the truth, even if it is unsightly, even if it is unsightly, but we soften it, yes, but we soften it, that is , soften the sharp edges, but in general it should be the truth, because, and why for untruth, yes, well , older teenagers will lose for untruth... any trust in parents and then simply establishing contact with the teenager will be very difficult, is there arthur, there is a certain age in children when you need to be more careful when introducing a new family member, any, really, well, that is, if, if the child is in acute puberty, it is just as risky as if the child is 6 years old, just different risks, wait.

attention, especially since teenagers, especially older ones, do not always require attention, they are already slowly beginning to separate from the parent, so they generally reach out, dear, i will endure less. the brain yes, the mother says to her teenage son, in general, she is not being disingenuous and the teenager is simply happy with this information in general, again yes, if everything is good with him, everything is fine, he is already a little happy with the distance, because teenagers still love freedom, gifts should be given to this new family member or it will be such

a bargaining bribery with sad consequences, gifts can be given, as long as it does not turn into direct bribery, yes into substitution, that is, i will not pay attention to you, i will simply give you a gift, this should not happen, you should not do this, well, that is a gift should not be a substitute for attention , warmth, if there is attention, if there is warmth, if there is a good relationship, then a gift will definitely not spoil anything, and if the person milena meets understands that this is her person, will also have... their own children, well , from previous marriages, then at what point should you introduce the children or at least talk about the fact that these are now your relatives, dear, this girl, if this happens before they become relatives, well, that is, even at the stage

some joint trips, yes, trips to nature or going to the cinema. neutral territory and naturally not when now we all have the same last name, not at this moment, this is a podcast psyche, you can watch all podcasts on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru.

volleyball. how haven't you seen it yet? the first channel cup, live broadcast, tomorrow on the first. this is a podcast psyche, our heroine milena, who came to us with her question: how to properly meet a man and bring him home when you have behind me already... several not very successful experiences. well, milena, do you have any questions for the psychologist, right now at this moment? we raised the topic of the biological father, and i remembered just such a situation, that since the baby has not seen the biological father in principle, does not know, and i did not raise this topic with her due to her age, but when we broke up,

there were 3 years of relations. just well, in a game, in a playful way, i asked her: i am your mommy, who is your daddy, well, just like that, she without a shred of doubt, she told me about our man, who was, the one who accepted her, who accepted, who, well, essentially yes, he did, and it was just such a heartbreak, because i was so confused, because and... i don’t want to, like, well, that is , let me have this thought, that well, it’s good that you think that this is your dad, because well, really, the person deserved it with everything and trust in his actions, but then at some point she began to grow up , actually, just after 5 years, when all moms dads there she had this question, and

her brother joined in, who already understands, and he said this illusion, that is, no, this is actually not... your dad, well, how would i confess, well, how did i confess, i told the story that your dad is here and your brother's dad, well, but i'm not sure that she somehow understood it then, perceived it and that's what yes, most likely she will return to this question, well, it's good that she already has a realistic picture, she will probably want to somehow complete this picture, well, maybe a little older. yes, for now this is enough for her, maybe a little later she will want, then you can really tell the story of the relationship, you can show photographs and... and if photographs of the biological father have been preserved, including, tell the story of that relationship, again, yes, so that the children can imagine, yes, and how this relationship with

my biological dad developed, that is , why this man appeared, for example, and including, yes, that is, it is clear that, as i said, sharp edges can be smoothed out, but it is better, if this story is for children, well , as far as possible, honestly and logically, godda they themselves... where we live, knows our phone numbers, periodically also once a year, i remind before birthdays that we have

birthdays soon, if you want to somehow congratulate us, call, that is, all the phones are in direct access, he knows all the numbers, his relatives know too, who, by the way, also do not show up at all. so i did what i could, well, i don't see the point in somehow imposing myself, trying to get together, that is if a person doesn't want to, yes, that is, a person has a new family there, he switched, well, okay, at some point it was difficult, unpleasant, painful, but i accepted it, that is, at some point milena will just need to tell her this truth too, yes, about how the relationship with the biological father developed, maybe without such details, if the children don't have questions, if they do, yes, of course, it's worth answering them, if

they don't, then you can make the story a little shorter, that is, indicate, naturally, separation, to indicate, perhaps, some reasons why you separated, to indicate now the position that dad has another family, that’s why he doesn’t see you, well, yes, the child will probably say, he’s bad, we are probably such bad children that dad doesn’t want to communicate with us, naturally, this can happen if you give the children, well, some kind of such a negative picture, therefore , responsibility definitely needs to be shifted towards the father, well, this is objective, this is true, and the responsibility there, not on the children, on the father, well, that is, dad decided to separate, he decided leave there or create another family. he left, yes, it was his choice, well, also so-so, to be honest, the concept, yes, it would be funny, if not so sad, in any case, there is no

need to sweeten the pill too much, anyway, if we somehow try to sweeten this situation, well, there, conditionally sweeten it, make it more idealistic, then most likely the children will have... this is important, everyone will be waiting for the new dad, let it be so, milena, i think that - you really do a lot

for your children and do in general right, yes from what we talked about, so it seems to me that you are on the right track, add from yourself that it is really worth remembering that life is a holistic thing, and it is good when there is everything in this life... the prospect of happiness is always there.

if you frown, leave the house, if you are not happy with a sunny day. let a guy you don’t know smile at you as if he were his friend, and the smile will undoubtedly suddenly touch your eyes, and

a good mood will not leave you anymore, if you suddenly quarreled with your beloved chance, often the one who likes to quarrel in vain, you look into each other's eyes better, better than any words, sometimes glances speak and... webcam , no doubt, will suddenly touch your eyes, and a good mood will not leave you anymore.

if someone was abandoned by a friend in misfortune, this act penetrated into your heart, remember how many good people there are, we have much more of them, remember them, and a smile , no doubt, will suddenly touch.

hello, dear friends, have a good mood, today in the podcast melody of my life, i have a guest people's artist russia, the legendary jazz guitarist alexey alexeevich kuznetsov. hello, uncle lyosha, it is very nice to see you, good, good, good afternoon, i have the great pleasure of playing songs to the accompaniment of alexey.

alexeevich, because he is a real guru of this genre, he manages to do in the accompaniment, a bad word, manages, he simply makes it so that you enjoy a very refined intelligent guitar. alexey alexeevich, you are probably musical with your whole destiny, with your whole appearance show that such a real gentleman of our russian jazz. well, of course, i can't help but ask you about your family, about your dad, because you are a hereditary guitarist, how did you come to this instrument? fell in love with it for life, absolutely right, life passed before my eyes, and what was connected with dad, it was always at home, and the guitar and the look, when dad dressed before a concert, everything was intelligent, a tuxedo, a frag, well, and so on and so forth, therefore, what we see now is precisely the quartet of boris erimilovich tikhonov, which was based in the orchestra of yuri vasiliovich selantyev, where dad worked, and

the rehearsal. often took place at home, and i saw live how it was done, such a word is not very pleasant, dad with a guitar, that's right, dad with a guitar, here he is, and ryadomovich tikhonov on... and this is very, i like it. alexey alexeevich, well, your life is inextricably linked with cinematography, with the cinematography orchestra, but now we will perform a song together with the light jazz group, we must introduce the musicians who will

help us, on drums today for you andrey nikonov, double bass igor kondur, accordion alexander faraonovich, marterosov, well, your humble servant on vocals, today, however, as always. a song from the film "bolshaya ruda", it was written by mikhail teroverdiev, this, by the way, is his only hit, hits turned out, but this is the song that was made precisely as a bet, he was reproached for writing only for the cinema, he says, i can write a song for the cinema that the whole country will perform, it turned out that maya vladimirovna kristallinskaya performed this song, and the lyrics, by the way, by nikolai nikolaevich, let's have them now. we'll sing a song, and then talk about you and the movie. so, don't be sad.

where the pines are, where the home is, there are lakes with living water. don't be sad, don't say goodbye, everything is ahead of us, don't be sad, don't say goodbye, everything is ahead of us, let the cuckoo be silent again, it can't predict our fates, don't... be sad, don't say goodbye, but come out to meet me, don't be sad, don't say goodbye, but come out

to meet me, there's a charge above the road, the seas are full of blue light, don't be sad. don't say goodbye, because life was invented for a reason, you don't be sad, don't say goodbye, because life was invented for a reason.

there will be joy, there will be sadness, you call out, i will look back, don't be sad. don't say goodbye, i will definitely come back, don't be sad, don't say goodbye, i will definitely come back. oh, alexey alexeevich, i can't help but admire your guitar techniques, as a guitarist i sometimes don't even understand how this is possible.